Mirza Yawar Baig – Jumuah 088 Tazkiyya Wal Tarbiyya Part3
AI: Summary ©
The speaker discusses the importance of avoiding social interaction and creating a list of manners. They emphasize the importance of teaching and practicing the speaker's values, rather than just sharing words. The speaker emphasizes the need for children to have a memory of the culture and protecting homes, and the importance of not disrespecting children. They also discuss the use of language and the importance of protecting people's privacy.
AI: Summary ©
Salam aleikum wa rahmatullah wa barakato.
In the lambda Allah
salatu salam, O Allah, Allah Mia, why Allah Allah He was happy he will Manuela
My dear respected brothers and sisters and elders.
We continue with our series of lectures on the issue of the scatter knifes water with a lock lock.
And we continue with last week's lecture, which is titled Serbia begins with my home.
And I began the lecture and I repeat the ayah with which we began that lecture and that is the ayah from Surah hub, where Allah subhanaw taala said our wilhemina shaitana regime, Lacan Allah comfy Rasulullah Hasina, live in Kanagawa de la ville, Yama, la cara, Cara la casa
para la Santa Rosa, indeed, in the Messenger of Allah Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, you have a good example to follow for the one who hopes in the meeting with Allah and hopes for the last day. And remember Allah subhanho wa Taala a great deal.
I
talked about the specific reason why Allah subhanaw taala said hope to meet Allah, what does that mean, and so on and so forth. So I will not obviously repeat all of that. As you all know, the lectures are available on our website, plus, those of you who are in the group, you always get these lectures, the audio of it, and the text also, inshallah will be sent to you once the series is completed.
And last week, we came to the point of saying that, yes, it is true, that society has become corrupted. Yes, it is true that our children are exposed to all kinds of
all kinds of wrong things in society, very varying degree of wrongness, things which are mildly wrong to seeing things which are completely and utterly Haram. It is true, all of this is true. All of these environmental factors are there and our children, we ourselves are exposed to all of these in society. But the key thing, as I mentioned to you yesterday, or last week was to ask yourself one very simple question, which is not what are they exposed to in society, but what are they exposed to inside my own home.
And that is very important to the simple reason why it's important is because that society is not in our control. At the most we can complain about it, we can you know, groan and moan about it. But you know, and I know that that doesn't change anything. But what is in our control, hopefully, is the environment inside our own homes. And therefore, the key thing to remind ourselves and to ask ourselves is, when my children come back home, what do they see?
What are they exposed to inside my home? Am I the father or the mother, or the brother or the sister? The best example for my sibling for my children? Am I the best example. And if I'm not the best example Alhamdulillah that is one part of the story that you are honest enough to accept this, that you may not be the best example. Next part of the story is therefore what do you intend to do about that? Because obviously, it is not sufficient simply to say I am not the best example. So that's reality, maybe we are not the best example. But going forward, what is the what is the story? I mean, if I am not the best example, what is my plan about changing that situation? Or am I going
to simply say I am not a very, not the best example and remain like that?
That doesn't make sense, right? So we need to make some changes in our lives.
And therefore, let us ask, I thought, let me make a list of some questions that we might like to ask ourselves. And once again, do apologies for asking questions which are uncomfortable, but as I told you, that is the unfortunate role that I have to play. First question, ask, what manners do they see inside my house? from me? What manners? What o'clock do they see? We complain about the lack of a clock, the lack of other the lack of respect in the outside world, and it is true. But what o'clock Am I children seeing in my own home?
Do they see forgiveness? Or do they see vindictiveness? Do they see hiding the faults of others? Or do they see exposing the faults of others? Do they see slander and backbiting in the name of social interaction?
Mr. Gamal Goswami
all typical and very common phrases that we hear.
Right? No matter what we call it slander is slander, backbiting and Riba is evil. So do this do our do our children see that in our homes are not in the name of social interaction? How do I treat my servants?
How do I treat the people who work for me?
How do we address them?
And until I have seen both, I've seen both I've seen homes where the servants are addressed respectfully,
as is due to them, because of their age because of the fact that they have dedicated their life to serve us. We are coming into the month of Ramadan and Alhamdulillah it's a hallmark of being a header body that you cannot eat cereal for for savour.
There is no salary unless there is hot parotta off the off the stove, there is no salary unless there is crema and Khichdi and so on and so forth. At least two curries, one cutter one meter, and plus some meat. Otherwise, it is not so hard. Who cooks that? You cook it
for the most part, our servants do it. In some cases, maybe your wife also helps or maybe she does some some part of it. But for the most part, those servants Some are Muslims are non Muslim. They wake up before the time of Soho that God is useful for them also, they also worship the same rub. They also need that time to make a bother, but they leave the Avada they leave that the hedgehog and they are cooking your zohore while you are standing in some nice Masjid like this and listening to some curry reciting for an hour and then you go home and you know that your home will be hot on the table the minute to land at home and May Allah help them if that hole is not hot on the table when
you reach there in Allahu la Raja if I'm exaggerating, please stop me right now.
But you know I come from the same place as you so you can I know you're inside secrets.
So please let us understand this how what do the children learn children learn you can tell the child whatever you want. The child learns, the child learns that it is okay for a five year old and a six year old to call a servant who is four times his age by a name alone.
And then address disrespectfully you know, we speak languages where there are different levels of address. We don't speak English at home. We speak English only the machine.
At home we speak although we speak different languages, and our languages have respect.
And all the languages Telugu and Tamil and malayalam and all of these languages have different levels of respect.
And I don't want to spoil the whole bar by actually repeating the terms that I hear you know what, you know what I hear and you know what you hear? So, I don't think I have to repeat that. But you know what I'm talking about right? Yes or no?
So what do they What do they see? How do they see that? How do your children see the treatment of elders?
How many homes have I seen where because the father and the uncle, the two brothers, there is a problem between them and May Allah protect them that problem is usually over some piece of mud called land. Right or some ridiculous building or some nonsense like this. But because the father and the uncle have a difference of opinion have a problem between them. The children disrespect the uncles, the children will not say Salaam to the uncle.
And this is not this is actually either actively or tacitly encouraged by the parents.
Either actively encourage May Allah forgive us or they say nothing. When the child does not say Salaam to his uncle does the parents say nothing? The children don't meet them they don't talk to them they don't go and you know in either something parents anything so what are you what what are you now treating teaching them you are teaching them how to treat elders.
My brothers and sisters remember, whatever Allah subhanaw taala will give or not give on the Day of Judgment is a different matter. But it is the son of Allah subhanaw taala This world is a world of cause and effect. Allah subhanaw taala brings all the chickens back home to roost. And that this respect which you taught your children to do to elders, will come home to you one day.
Make no mistake, make absolutely no mistake. The child who did not see anything wrong in disrespecting his uncle
We'll see nothing wrong in disrespecting you, when the child now is a man, when the child is a woman, and you are an old man or woman.
And you know, and I know that these are actually our operative realities in our homes and in our families, am I right? Or am I wrong?
How do your children and my children see how we treat the rich and the powerful?
Is there a difference?
When so and so comes home? And when so and so comes home?
Is there a difference in how we greet? Is there a difference in in what we give in how we treat somebody who is wealthy, and somebody who's not wealthy? Many of us have families, we actually have our own cousins and our own cousins, children and so on. We're not wealthy, we're poor. How do we treat them? What do the children see? How do they see you treating them? And how do they see you treating this friend or that friend, this powerful person or that powerful person, this wealthy person or that wealthy person when they come? Is there a difference in treatment? Are the children seeing that?
How many of us have homes where we get the local Imam from the masjid the molvi. To come and teach the children are an
this was this to teach and learn the Quran
was something that was realized in a salon called the best of things to do. He said the best of you in the Beltway, Nevada Llano de la Salam said the best of you is the one who teaches and learns the Quran in another generation of teachers or learns the Quran.
The best of you. So we get this person remotely from the masjid to come and do what we know what the nobbies Allah Salaam called the best of things.
How do we treat that movie?
Where does he sit? Where is he given a place to sit? What happens when this six year old or eight year old or 10 year old doesn't want to study today? He doesn't feel like studying so he has some excuse.
Ma Ba ba ba ba ba ba
no one has the courtesy even to phone him in advance. And today everybody's got cell phones including Molly's
no one has a courtesy even to phone him in advance and say please don't come today he comes on his motorcycle or his motorcycle. When he comes here.
unceremoniously he sent away, like we send away some beggar or something. May Allah forgive us. I have seen homes where the mall is given a cup of tea, but is given a cup of tea not in the crockery that we use for our own consumption.
How are you going to Ansar Allah
think about this? How will we answer Allah
and this is what the children learning. This is the reason why the children have no importance for the sooner they have no importance for this for Salah they have no importance for the Quran. They have no importance for the deen of Islam. Why? Because we taught them that the deen of Islam is at best a second rate third rate thing which is taught by somebody we treat in a third rate manner. So after all, how important can it be?
And the same child has tuition so of course as we know today, we have to like we have the white money and the black money system we have a regular system and a tuition system in schools. So your child your child has chemistry is to share and physics tuition and mathematics, tuition and so on and so forth. And God help that child if the math teacher comes in the child says I don't want to study
you know what i was the child right?
He sent to the moon and back.
So what are we teaching them?
We are teaching them the relative importance of mathematics and the column of Allah.
So nothing to be surprised about nothing to really blame anybody for they give exactly as much importance as we taught them to give. As I said last Juma.
We can complain about the world. We can complain about the corruption in society, we can complain about the world as we find it today. But let us remember very clearly, that this world is what we created. No child had any hand in creating this world. They did not create this world. They had nothing to do with the creation of this world. We created it and we gave it to them.
So don't blame them.
Don't blame them.
It's ours.
Hopefully they will have more sense than us and they will do something to change this world, we hope.
But as we stand today, we are responsible, as simple as that.
Second question to ask yourself, do my children see compassion in my home? Do my children see dignity and truthfulness in my home? Or do they see lying and cheating?
wish to see to the sea compassion, truthfulness and dignity? Or do they see lying and cheating and then justifying that we're all kinds of arguments
will tell you a true story
written by the son of Mahatma Gandhi,
about the time when goddess used to live in South Africa.
And he says that in these are the days of apartheid, there is a segregation. So you had the white townships beautiful, and then you had the Indian housing, and then you had the black shanty towns. And then you had the usually the work district was very close to the white town, which means that the Indian had to travel a long distance to get there. And the black man had to travel maybe five times or distance to get to the same place.
Right. So wanted us to use a lawyer who used to work in this law office, and he had to drive about 25 kilometres to get to his work. And his son says that I used to drive my father to work in the morning, and I would go back and pick him up in the evening and bring him home.
So he said one day I there was some movie that was playing some film. So he said, I decided to go see this movie. Because he was against all this stuff is against movies. And he was I guess, you know, watching movies and stuff.
So he said that I went to see his movie. And he said, I got completely engrossed in this movie. And I fought all about the time. And by the time the movie finished, I came out, I found that I was one hour late.
So he said that I when I reached my father's place, my father asked me, Why are you late? So I told him, the car broke down, I had to go to the mechanic.
But unknown to him, there was a friend of God disease was also in the movie theater.
Who saw this boy?
And like all good people, you know, we are very good at passing on bad news. We don't like to pass on good news. So like all good people, this man. And these are the days I'm talking about apartheid in South Africa. We are talking about a long time ago, right?
There were no cell phones or no nothing. This man went and found the phone and the call Gandhiji. From there, maybe you paid something couple of grand to make that phone call. He called Gandhiji. And he said, You know what? I saw your son in the movie theater.
So God is he knew where this boy was when he asked him this question.
So it says I my father asked me where were you? I told him I was car broke down. So I went to the mechanic. So he said, My father told me, but I so and so called me and told me that you were in this movie theater watching this movie. Is it true?
It sounds terrible. I got caught. I mean, there was no way of denying that. Right here an eyewitness?
So he said Yes, it is true. I'm talking about example of truthfulness in the home, please understand very clearly.
So Gandhiji said to him, he said, You know, I have always tried to tell you
that you must always speak the truth, no matter what.
Irrespective of the consequences, you must always speak the truth.
He said, but somehow it seems that I have not been able to convince you of this. So this is my failure.
I am to blame. It is my fault, that I was unable to convince you that you must always speak the truth. You are afraid to speak the truth in front of me. I don't know why.
But that's what we just discovered. So he said it is my failure, that I was not able to impress on you the importance of always speaking the truth. And he said Therefore, I am going to punish myself. And I will today walk home.
And the son says that garbage he walked 25 kilometres home. It was morning by the time he reached home. Gandhiji was no Olympic athlete.
He said he reached home it was morning by the time he reached home and he said my son's as I was driving the car behind him. So that there was light to see because this is you're talking about the bush felt in South Africa.
It's not a safe place to walk in the night.
And so Gandhi walked home, his son says that day and today. I have never ever told a lie.
Never.
And that's why I'm saying look and
See what examples we are setting in our homes for our children? Third question,
ask.
In my home, do my children see the fear of displeasing Allah which is taqwa and the desire to do the best that we can to please Him, which is
to the children see taqwa, or the lack of taqwa, the children see as an or do they see shortcuts?
What do they see? What a badass do I do at home? rasulillah salam said, Do not make your home into a graveyard.
Don't make your home into a cemetery into a graveyard. Where Salah is not permitted. Is that pray at home, pray the fart in the masjid. And go home and pray the Sunnah pray now I feel pressure ah praise Allah to Doha, Praveen, and most importantly,
what memories have mentioned the story of my father million times I don't want to say it all over again. But I'm saying give your children memories. Give your children memories. When they think of you will they remember your recitation of the Quran? Or is your home one of those which is bereft of the recitation of the Quran in your voice.
We run this by law number 11 yada, yada yada. No Khurana Dr. Suna Hey, Dr.
McKeon is Santa Ana in Santa Santa. Now first on this one I have given the sort of cinema key galaxy.
Allah Allah Allah Santa Galaga Which one is it?
Your voice reciting the Quran, neither the walls of the house or witness now the doors or the windows? Not the people nor the Malaika and your house. No one has ever heard your voice reciting or an in your own home is does this describe your house? I sincerely hope it doesn't. Because if it does,
and there is something very very seriously wrong. How can they be Baraka in a home in which the Kalam of Allah subhanaw taala is never decided.
What a bada do you do at home? What a bada do your children see you doing?
What do they see what memories do they have?
How particular are you about going to the masjid for Salah.
So Allah Allah Allah, Allah Subhana Allah has given us massages, especially in this country, especially in the city, literally within a stone's throw. I mean, most of us live within like, you know, two minutes driving distance or maybe you know, five minutes driving distance of a Masjid and even if you walk in some cases, the masjid is you know, a couple of minutes from your home.
And one of the fortunate ones where it's two flights of stairs down.
Then of course the apartments available you're coming by them I'm not selling
how particular are you about going to the masjid for Salah.
Ask yourself, do my children see me obeying Allah? Or disobeying him? Do they see me following the Sunnah of Rasulullah Salallahu alaihe salam, or going against it? And please, I am not referring only to the beard. Don't get stuck in the beard. That is one sooner very important. So now maka fourth
What about how we talk to people? What about how we treat our families? What about how we spend our money?
What about how we earn?
Hmm. Someone told me a story just now they say that the gentleman who shall remain nameless and mercifully the brother who told me the story never mentioned the name and amarilla
sold an apartment to a guy
and this guy said I have to get a loan from the bank for the apartment so this person told him no don't take a loan from the bank it is haram right don't take a loan and don't pay interest to the bank. It is haram so when he loves the nice story, right? good Muslim hamdulillah the story continues. So he told me however what you do is that money which you're going to pay to the bank, I will give you a three year period you pay that money to me
Mashallah.
So we have a move to Mashallah.
Mr. Xu, one who gives fatawa for free movement.
I'm not being disrespectful to the actual focus of this Deen. I'm talking about those who consider this Deen to be a play thing.
Which they made games out of
in the relay. Who will you answer me? So just think about that.
So what do the children see?
You know, it's very strange.
how so many parents are keen to emphasize their rights on the children. Many times I get these requests, please make a ban on and tell these children what are the parents write on them. agenda is under the feet of the mother.
And the mother is under the feet of the Father.
So the emphasize rights of the rights, the parents rights, the parents. And of course the parents have rights. I mean, nobody denies that Allah subhanaw taala gave these rights.
But remember, that the rights of Allah and the rights of Rasulullah sallallahu Sallam supersede your rights.
And if your parents are going to see you disobeying the rights of Allah Subhana, Allah and His Messenger, Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, then they will have no hesitation,
they will have no hesitation in not giving you your rights, because you did not encourage them to fulfill the rights, which superseded your rights, you did not encourage them to fulfill the rights from which you derive your rights.
We deliver you derive your rights from where from the Kalam of Allah,
you derive your rights from the era of Muhammad Sallallahu sallam.
So if you deny, okay, that's why I always say you can never play with your own power source. If you play with your own power source, you are destined to lose, there's no way that you can win against your own power source.
So if you encourage children, actively or tacitly to deny the rights of Allah Subhana Allah and His messenger Muhammad Sallallahu sallam, you have just cut your own throat.
You just cut your own throat, you just sabotage your own rights. Because if they if you allowed them or permitted them or encouraged them to leave those rights, then automatically it means that you have nullified your own rights. So then don't be surprised when that child violates your rights. Because you taught them that it is okay to do that.
My brothers and sisters Make no mistake, Allah subhanaw taala brings it all back. He brings it all back. Just to give you a small example. We are now in the so called examination time. How many times have you seen the child is sleeping fast asleep at the time of sorrowful father, the father or the mother one of them. Whoever is more conscious will say wake up the child for father and the other one was the original
Rodney Baba pauletta. Sandow
another Mufti, deliberately you can sleep and you can pray for that new fatwa.
But of course since you can go shopping and pray haha Why can't Why can't you sleep and pray
since you may you put on makeup and you don't want to wash it off. So therefore when you lose what do you make the atomic demo all kinds of new mosyle I think we should publish a book on this new muscle of how to practice Islam
in Allah when
we invent we invent
this is far worse incidentally. Then some of the ad that we are so keen to point a finger at You're so keen to criticize this one this without that. What we are doing is much worse than that because you are playing with a fourth of this do
you encourage the child it's okay to miss Salah because you are tired.
It's okay not too fast because there's a cricket match.
He's got to go for net practice. Ramadan is coming in summer. It's okay not too fast. The rise of Allah subhanaw taala can be left aside.
And so also with the sooner processor solution
and then at the same breath we say What about my rights? You tell me what about your rights, which rights
which rights
you have no rights because you played with the source of your power. You try to deny Allah subhanho wa Taala his rights remember our our Salah Allah does not need our Salah is for ourselves.
And finally, last three questions.
Ask yourself, do my children see a difference between my own private and public behavior? Do I say something at home and I say something outside? How many times have people come and said you know, this person is so nice to his friends so nice outside and so on and so forth. They come and tell you actually they sometimes they come to me they tell me the story in the house is a his treats his family so badly and he's so bad with a wife and so bad to the children and he's cursing and bad language and so on. And I'm like my jaws dropped. I said you're you're talking about the same person? I don't think so. I think I think you're talking about two different people. Yes or No, no,
no, no same person. I see.
In damages, I see him here I see him there Mashallah the man gives
and the man is
that is outside
there is outside
outside his car Rasulullah Kala and inside the home
is something else
the Holocaust alone
What do you call this? What is the Arabic word for this? One thing outside one thing inside, you know the word right?
issue is not that you know everything everybody knows that you choose to practice you're going to see a complete different behavior inside the house and outside the house. What do you want tell the children
behave like you see me outside, not
not like inside
the hotel. Similarly, what do our children see with regard to our wedding and funeral ceremonies and celebrations?
We are in the month of Raja
and one of the big complaints that people have against me is that I have spoiled people's lifestyles. Raja Matata Hakuna Matata virag de Maya mega Soraka minor raga zu kaufen de
Halle ovata valina Coco, Holly Kia Baka Baka karma Mikado. Huh? When did I stop you from eating? Kiran pooris? I didn't serve you. I stopped you from the associations by all your reasons why you do it which you should?
Seriously ask yourself when brothers and sisters asked this question.
That's why I said it's not what the children see outside which is important. It's what they see inside.
Because inside the house is the benchmark. Inside the house is what the child remembers and takes away.
Inside the house is what comes.
And inside the house is in your control.
No matter what is happening outside in the world. Society at the time when we saw salon was as bad as today, if not worse. It was as bad as today. Prostitution was rampant. lying and cheating was rampant killing and murder was rampant. rebirth and slander was rampant. Every kind of evil was existing in society at a big scale.
How did the Sahaba protect their children? How did they create a generation which is the best generation from out of that mess?
They didn't descend from heaven. They didn't come from Syria or Yemen. They were from the same muck from the same Medina which had all of these things. How did they do that? They did that by creating a home environment, which was totally different, the opposite of the outside environment. So no matter what the child went outside into, when he came home, he saw a completely different picture will against which he could measure what he was seeing outside to see whether it is right or not. Remember, if a ship is in the sea, it experiences storms. And they shake it up and water comes into the ship. But when the ship comes into the harbor, if the ship finds a storm also inside the harbor,
then that ship is finished. That ship has nowhere to go. Keep your home a safe harbor. Keep your home a safe harbor where a ship can come in the home and relax. A ship can come into home and feel safe and see things in the home which prepare it for the next day. Because ultimately, it has to go out into the sea.
Keep the home where it can re sustain resuscitate,
refurbish itself. Get the taqwa and Eman. Listen to the recitation of the Quran was a father reciting Quran in the head to listen to the mother reciting Quran. See the love of the Sahaba see the Sunnah of Rasulullah sallallahu Sallam on in the in the behavior of the parents see truthfulness and humility and compassion and dignity and respect. So that when the child goes out into the world, he goes out with a standard that he can judge the world against a standard that he can show to the world and become a standard bearer of Islam himself. Or Salah lalana bill Karim Allah Allah He was a big mind.