Maryam Lemu – THERE IS NO CUSTOM MADE SPOUSE

People are not science experiments

that you can remove a bit of this

and add a bit of that and create

this bespoke spouse.

How easy is it for you to change?

How easy was it for you to break

your bad habits, let alone someone else's?

And what if they don't change after you

get married?

I can promise you that the things you

want to change after the marriage will most

likely get worse. You see, we put our

best foot forward during courtship.

Yes, we are on our best behaviour.

After the marriage, the masks come off. Our

habits go under the microscope.

The things that didn't bother us before

become

magnified

and all of a sudden they can even

irritate you. I remember when I got married

to my husband and during the courtship we

were so in love. He could do no

wrong. He was faultless.

Then we got married. And after a while,

I'd say maybe just a few months,

I would watch my husband brush his teeth

and I cannot tell you how it irritated

me. And I'd say, why are you brushing

your teeth like that? And he's like,

how am I brushing my teeth?

I don't know what it was. But it's

like certain tiny things,

insignificant things became a big deal. The same

applied to me. I remember when I was

eating food I was like, oh, this food

tastes so good.

And I'd savour the food because it tasted

good. And he would say stop that, it's

so irritating.