Maryam Lemu – Marriage Gems #14

			We were very deliberate about interference,
		

			interference of friends, whether mine or hers, interference of family in our affairs. So we're
extremely careful if we even have issues between us who to discuss them with the issue of
confidentiality in every marriage is very, very important. You don't go talk to anybody about your
problems, because you don't know especially if you don't have confidence in that person, you have to
be very deliberate and specific. Who do you go to? How much will they hold that discussion, in
confidence and really think about your problem and give you honest advice. I told you about her
talk, she told you about her talking to my mother. And that was the one time she did it. She never
		

			did again. I spoke to her dad, it was one time and it never happened again. We don't talk to friends
so much about our issues. We don't talk to family members so much about our issues. She is my wife,
with all due respect to my family. She is not married to my family. She is married to me, come
Judgment Day. It's not my family that will be held accountable on how I manage my love My life, my
marriage and my children as a husband and as a father, I will be the one Allah will hold
accountable. Not my mother, not my father, not my brothers, not my sisters, not my answer my
uncle's. So I've drawn the line. I've said don't cross this line. You have an issue with my wife,
		

			you talk to me. You don't go to my wife. You don't dictate to my wife. My wife was not given up in
marriage to you. She was given from marriage to me. The moment you open that door, I you let anybody
come in when they want how they want. You are asking for trouble because they will interfere, they
can very likely mess up your marriage. So remember that when that woman was given to you. They
didn't say to your family. They mentioned your name at the Nika they specifically asked Who is this
young lady they mentioned her name is being married off to you know, and
		

			yes, don't you? Absolutely. I think that is such a common thing that comes up where you hear
interference. You hear a lady gets married, and she's so miserable due to the fact that his family
gets involved or the husband is so miserable because her mother tells her what to do and how to
relate with her spouse. And so there needs to be that border. There needs to be this wall and
boundaries clear boundaries so that people do not interfere in the marriage.