Maryam Lemu – Know Their Past Before Your Future Together

Maryam Lemu
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AI: Summary ©

The speaker describes how her husband and she had issues with communication and non expression, as well as issues with their relationship. She explains that her husband's background had affected their decision to marry, and advises the caller to look into the family history of the person they want to marry.

AI: Summary ©

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			My husband and I counseled a couple in
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			crisis.
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			And when we talked to this lady, she
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			mentioned that they started having trouble from the
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			very first day. She didn't know much about
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			his background until after they got married. One
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			of the biggest complaints she had was that
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			he was non expressive, that he was cold
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			and disconnected, and that he didn't show affection
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			and didn't communicate well.
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			He preferred to bottle things up and then
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			explode when he got angry or when he
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			was pushed to the wall. And there were
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			so many other issues that she complained about.
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			Now, when my husband spoke to him,
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			he revealed that he was raised by a
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			single mother. That his father had been married
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			11 times.
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			Yeah. You heard me right. 11 times.
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			So he did not grow up seeing effective
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			communication.
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			He didn't see affection.
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			He didn't see bonding activities
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			or a true relationship.
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			Like I said, it's so hard for you
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			to give what you do not know, what
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			you do not have.
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			He did not recognize how his background had
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			affected
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			and shaped him and how it influenced how
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			he related with people,
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			especially his spouse. That's why I ask you
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			to look look critically into the background
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			and the family background of the person you
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			want to get to marry.