Maryam Amir – When I was 11

			When I was 11, I asked my parents
if I could invite Allah to Allah
		

			over for dinner. And they didn't
say, Allah doesn't need to eat, or
		

			that's blasphemy. They said, Of
course you can. And I wrote menus,
		

			and I set the table for my family
of four, with a fifth place for
		

			Allah, subhanaw taala, even
though, of course Allah, of course
		

			not. And when I was done, I said,
Oh, Allah, please join us for
		

			dinner. And I remember at 11, I
wasn't like religiously connected.
		

			So I don't know how this moment
happened for me, but I remember
		

			this immense moment of presence. I
remember feeling like Allah,
		

			subhana, wa Taala was present with
me. It was a feeling I had never
		

			experienced before, and I began to
weep because my heart was so full
		

			with emotion. And many years after
that, I didn't connect with Islam.
		

			I wasn't sure if I wanted to be
Muslim, but going to the Kaaba was
		

			the first time I felt that
presence again, and when I felt
		

			that moment of being present in
the in front of Allah's Panama
		

			taala, my heart, again, was so
full. And in that moment, I
		

			remember having so many emotions
of very, very regretful of my
		

			life. You know, I had my own fears
and and sad moments of sadness and
		

			everything, but I felt like
Allah's Panama Taala was with me.
		

			And that moment of presence, that
feeling of presence that fills
		

			your heart so much that you just
weep out of the sweetness of that
		

			connection, is what I keep
thinking about when I see the
		

			children in hutza Yesterday. Many
of you probably saw two little
		

			boys who were maybe three and four
that were crushed. And I saw one
		

			of them, his tongue is sticking
out. The other one, his eyeball
		

			had come out because of the
pressure. Allah's pantalla says in
		

			the Quran that when the angels of
death that are giving Glad Tidings
		

			come, they tell the person that
they're taking not to be afraid
		

			and not to grieve and to give them
the promised glad tidings of
		

			paradise. And I think about how on
the outside what we are seeing is
		

			absolute horror, but in that
moment, are they feeling this
		

			presence? Are they feeling this
connection and this closeness that
		

			fills their hearts so much that
they don't fear and they don't
		

			grieve? Because if Allah Spano to
Allah would would bless an 11 year
		

			old who didn't know what she was
doing with this overwhelming joy,
		

			so much so that my whole heart was
full and I couldn't even contain
		

			it, and I wept as a child because
of that closeness. Then how much
		

			more so curving of that feeling of
everything is going to be okay?
		

			Inshallah, there is something so
much better than this that you are
		

			going to be with the people that
you love. How much more so? How
		

			much more so do the children of
Gaza deserve it a.