Maryam Amir – Quran Recitation and Journey Hafitha Fatima Ibrahim
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Subhanallah, Alhamdulillah, Allahu Akbar. Subhanallah, Alhamdulillah,
Allah. ILAHA, illallahu, Allahu. Akbar. Subhanallah, Alhamdulillah,
Ullah, ILAHA, illallah, Allahu. Akbar, Shay Mia. Subhanallah, what
an honor to have you. Baraka Lo Fi key and mashaAllah, so nice to see
everyone. Wala Kumu, salaam, warahmatullahi, wabarakatuh, Abu
Asmaa, Salama, habina Muhammad, Allah masala, Malay, Veena,
Muhammad, Wali Kumu, salaam, warahmatullahi wa salli wa sallam.
You know, Halina Muhammad Wa alaykum as salaam Warahmatullah
Oh,
you're so calm, You're so calm, you're so kind. May Allah, bless
you. Masha, Allah, walaka, masala, murahanna, salake, to handle such
a blessing to have all of you here. Allah, musalia, Salama, then
if you know, how you know, how do I come to the kids? So Han, Allah,
Alhamdulillah,
illallah, Allahu, Akbar, Sohan, Allah, love
Aisha, you love
myself. You're so sweet. It's so good to see your name. May Allah,
bless all of you. Oh. Mashallah, Claudia, Shayna, Tabarak Allah,
masha Allah, for those of you who didn't catch Korea shame as
recitation, masha Allah, go to Instagram, TV, her and she atemia,
who are honoring us with their presence today. Mashallah, their
recitations are incredible, as all of the women, Alhamdulillah, who
have recited, it's just been such a gift to hear their recitation.
Mashallah. Alhamdulillah, blood. I mean, while we wait for our Oh,
you have 11pm and you've been waiting Well, mashallah, it is
such a gift and a blessing to have you. Alhamdulillah.
Sabha, Fatima is your son's teacher. Wow. Masha Allah, she ate
me as son's teacher. Is Fatima? What an honor. Subhan Allah.
Subhan Allah, look at how the world of Quran, it just comes
together. Allahu, Akbar, subhanAllah,
oh, I mean, may Allah, bless you. Masha Allah, so while we Oh, from
France. Mashallah, what a gift to have you from France while we
wait. Inshallah. Oh, wow. 1am Where do you live?
Wow. Masha Allah, that is so middle of the night, oh May Allah
bless you. Another one I am. Where do you live? Masha Allah, Morocco.
MashaAllah, may Allah bless all of you, such an honor and a blessing
to have you all. Alhamdulillah. Alhamdulillah. Okay, so while we
wait for our beloved ustadha to attend, to join us. Inshallah, why
don't we have a conversation? From Egypt? Masha Allah, Aunty, aunty.
Mauseria, wow. Australia and Germany, Nigeria, Nigeria. Masha
Allah, that is incredible. Netherlands. Tabotac Allah, look
at this. Ummah, what a May. Allah, love you. Cambodia. Tobacco law.
Wow. Incredible Canada. Our
beloved is here, Malaysia, Singapore, third your time.
Turkey, Medina,
everyone asks Zainab to make the opera.
What an honor to see you, Alhamdulillah, for having me.
Thank you so much. The other way around. Thank you so joining us
today, for joining us. Alhamdulillah, it's such an honor
to have happy that and ustava faltima with us today.
Quran
Gaza in hafsana, awesome. Masha Allah, she is the Quran teacher,
the person that we want to hear your journey from your journey.
Masha Allah, there are people from all over the world. Allah,
everyone. Thank you so much for joining seriously. Thank you all.
So much for coming to hear about the journey of Salda Fatima to the
Quran to hear her recitation, to hear her advice, we can't wait to
hear you. Bismillah. Please go for it. So shall I start with
recitation, or shall I start with the love
to begin with recitation? Alright? Inshallah, sounds good. Regime.
Pardon. Can you tell us where you're going to recite from?
Recite from? So I'm going to recite Suratul watara. I have a
lot of favorite suras, but Sura wakara is one of my favorites. So
I figured this would be, it would be a good one to start with,
inshallah. Definitely inshallah. Okay, so if anyone wants to follow
along with the translation, this is sort of.
Welcome.
Welcome.
Best.
Welcome to as well Jen said,
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no lady,
I think I'll stop there and show
you
what's a lot they are recited with that tone before. Do you listen
particular reciter and copy that? Did you come up with this tone
through your own? Um, I don't know. I feel like it's a mixture.
I wouldn't say I copied a reciter. I mean, granted, I've like been to
my whole life, so,
so it's probably inspired by a lot of the recitation. I think it
sounds very similar. But at the same time, I think, I don't know,
maybe I have my own splash to it.
Oh, beautiful.
It
felt like it hit the
center of my soul.
How did the journey of the Quran? Why? Inshallah,
okay, so one thing I want to comment sometimes I don't hear you
like, sometimes, like I do, but it's like, delayed, or sometimes
it pauses, so I'm not so just for Oh, awkward, sorry. Give me like,
oh, salute. Okay, one second, one second.
Okay, so the lighting is not going to but that's okay. Life goes on,
okay.
Um, okay, so journey of the Quran, how did it start?
It's kind I mean, it is a long story. Inshallah, we have time,
but I guess I'll start with how it started when I was younger. It
sounds kind of like it's not related,
but when I kind of reflect and I think about like how it came
about, I do feel like it kind of made a big difference.
So to start off, I feel like, well, so my parents, my dad is,
you know, born Muslim, and my mom is a convert. And so one thing I
do remember is that growing up, you know, Alhamdulillah, you know,
I learned Quran in school, right there was, like, the basics of,
like, you know, going to Islamic school, and then I would recite
Quran, and then I would also, like, I learned to do then, like,
kind of like small Surahs and basic things like that.
One thing I do remember, though, was when my mom started studying
the Quran. She was learning tafsir, and she started with one
of the teachers in an Huda, and then eventually they brought the
institute here, and she started learning. And the one memory that
I have that was very clear was the fact that, you know, when she
would study the Quran, or all the sisters that she was with studying
the Quran, it was always like a positive experience. So it was
always like, whoa. You know, I love this. This is so amazing.
And, you know, like, she used to go to the hostels a lot to to
study with the sisters there. And every single one of them had that
same experience that, Oh, my God. You know, it's so amazing to study
the Quran. It's so beautiful to understand it. And so I do think
that that memory had an impact on me, you know, that, like, okay,
like, it's, it's fun to study the Quran, like, it must be so amazing
to, like, understand it.
So anyways, but I wasn't. We weren't. How do I say I did learn
the Quran growing up? And it was, it was part of the household, but
I don't feel like it was pushed down on me. There was never a
point where I felt like, okay, you know, like, I don't want to do
this anymore, like, you know, you're being too pushy.
You know, there was even a point where I would say, like, you know,
you know, you don't really read the Quran that much. You're kind
of distracted as a kid or whatever.
So anyways, fast forward.
But I did, I did learn, like, as I said, tajivi, then small stories
and things like that. Now, fast forward, I was 13, and I was in a
masjid with
they used to have like programs, like martial arts programs and
things like that. So one of my mom's friends actually asked me.
She was like, you know, at Huda, they have a Hearts program, do you
want to join it? And I was like, Yeah, of course. Like, I I
definitely want to join. And so my biggest thing though, was that I
never, ever intended to memorize the Quran like that was that was
never my intention. But I always wanted to study it like whenever,
whenever I thought about my life plan or like things like that, and
I would break it down, I always thought like, okay, you know, I'll
finish high school and then I'll study like the Quran. And my
intention was always like, Talib Quran, like, I want to understand
it, but I never intended to memorize it. But for me, she just
said, like, do you want to study? And I was like, Yeah, of course, I
want to go, you know? And so anyways, I joined the earth
program,
which was, it's very different than Talim. So Talim is a lot
more, you know, there's tafsir, there's Arabic, in a sense, it's
more, I mean,
it's different. It's different from memorization. I don't want to
say it's any better or worse. It's just different. And depending on
who you are, it's going to impact you differently. So anyways,
that's how it started. And then
I really love memorizing the Quran. The thing is, or say, I
really loved studying the Quran. Now, the thing is,
everyone in that class at the time took Talim Quran before so all of
the sisters that were in my class, they took taalim Quran before me.
On the other hand, I was familiar with recitation of the Quran. I
memorized a couple of suras. Actually, I memorized the, it's
funny, I memorized the whole jazama At this point, because when
I was younger, I did memorize it, but I remember specifically,
because I wasn't reviewing, I forgot, like, almost all of it,
you know. And it was so embarrassing, because when I went
to do the interview,
you know,
Sister fard Hashmi, she was asking me, like, certain Surah she'll ask
me, like, Can you recite from Surah AlA? And I was like, No, it
was so embarrassing, because I was like, and I remember,
I remember when me and my mom walked up. My mom was like, You
memorized those surahs. What do you mean? I was like,
so I'm.
Nonetheless, because it was something that I memorized already
once I joined the class and I it was easy to rememorize like I was,
like memorizing sodas within a few days, because jazama was something
that I did already a long time ago.
So nonetheless,
I lost my train of thought. What was I talking about? Joining the
right? Okay, so my classmates all did Quran. That being said, I
was familiar with recitation of the Quran and somewhat memorizing
small surahs,
but I didn't understand the Quran at all. Not even wa like, not even
one letter I did not understand. So they would be like discussing
certain things, like,
you know, whenever something would be hard the teacher or like the
classmates, they would discuss with each other. Oh, you know,
they're talking about this and that, that that, and I would just
like, be like that makes no difference to me, because I don't
understand anything so but because of that, it was a lot easier for
them to memorize the Quran. So they were kind of, they were kind
of, like flowing through it and like going really fast, whereas
for me is so difficult, like, to memorize. I remember, like,
sitting down for like, so many hours trying to memorize this
page. And I would come to school consistently. And I remember they
were so when I came, they already started the health program, and
they did up to Sura Nisa. So they the the first day that I came, was
the first time they were doing Sura Nisa. So and the teacher
wanted us all to be together. So she was like, you know, you can
memorize Surah Nisa with us. And I was like, okay, good. So I tried
memorizing Surah Nisa. And I remember every single day, I could
never come with a full page. I could only come with, like, half a
page at best, or like, and I really wanted to do it. The thing
was, I sucked, like, I sucked at memorizing, but I genuinely wanted
to do it. So it was, like, so sad, because I was, like, working so
hard, and I would spend so many hours, and I couldn't, I couldn't
memorize it. So I'd come and then mashallah, my teacher at the time,
she was so nice. And I had two teachers, one for like, three
years, and then the other for a few months, and I learned
different things from them. But for the first one, mashallah, she
was so nice and, like, emotionally, she gave me exactly
what I needed. She was so
she was really patient with me, and she would always say, like,
these really kind, encouraging words, Mashallah.
So nonetheless, I
sorry, can you guys hear me? I'm so sorry my internet. Can you hear
me? Okay, yes, I can hear you perfectly. Hanla,
so yeah, I was memorizing like, half page here, half page there,
half paid here, half page there, and it went like that through the
whole sura. So essentially, I'm, I didn't really memorize, like, I
memorized bits and pieces of Sura, Nisa. And then I was just like,
Oh, can we like, and we kind of went back and forth on like, can I
please do half a page? And, you know, start from surabakara. And
then, you know, initially, she kind of said yes. And then, you
know, she, I don't know what happened. She made decision, no,
like, you should be with the whole class. So, you know, that was a
thing. And then eventually,
I don't know if I got through most of surani, sat like that, or just
or all of it, but I definitely reached, like, close to the end,
just like bits and pieces, here and there. Then eventually I
started from surabakara, and I started going at my own pace, you
know, I started just doing the half page, and then until
eventually, I built up my resistance, and I was able to do
one whole page.
And funny thing is, by the time, Oh, and another thing, there's two
things, sorry, I'm like, all over the place, because there's so many
things that happened.
And it's like, I'm remembering here and there. But one thing is
that my teacher told me, like, right away, she's like, I want you
to do it with the translation. And so initially it was very difficult
that I was doing word by word, translation and memorization. But
at the same time, once I got the hang of it, it was so nice, like,
it was so nice to recite the Quran, or listen to the Quran and
be able to understand it like it was, like, building your
connection with it was, like, amazing.
So that was like, I so I it was harder, but I enjoyed it, and long
term, it made it so much easier to memorize. Like, initially, because
you're juggling a couple things, it was kind of difficult, but
after a while, it was like, oh my god, this is so awesome. You know
what I mean? And like, I don't know how I would be able to
connect to the verses if I didn't understand it. Like, and when I
didn't understand, there were so many things that I was mixing, my
teacher be like, oh, you know. And I would be like, okay, like, I
don't get it. The whole class would be like, Oh my God. What did
she say?
So that was one thing. But, yeah, I was, I was really appreciative
of that. But like, and it was so nice to
see my progress, because I remember, with every * you
would do a translation test, and I still have them now, when I look
at it and I'm like, Oh my God, you know the first one, like, I
sucked. But with every test, I went up like, a couple more.
And then by the end of it, I almost had everything, you know,
so it was like, Oh, that's so nice. Like, to see, like, when you
first do that test and you see so many red, red marks, you feel kind
of sad, and everybody else is, like, getting everything else, but
then, like, now that I'm looking back, I'm like, Oh my God, that's
so nice. Like,
I made progress. Hi. Yeah. Yes.
Mashallah. So that was that. So going back to what I was saying
earlier, so I started memorizing surabara, and then from there, I
kind of went on my own pace. That being said, when I got to surani,
sat to memorize it. It's now one of my best
suras so, you know, initially it's like, you know, everyone is is so
much better than me, and I suck at memorizing. And later on, that
became one of my best suras because of the fact that I did it
once, even though it was like, not good. And then I redid it later
on, right? Because I was listening to it so much, I was practicing it
so much so it, it was actually beneficial.
So anyways, there's, there's so much within the journey, but I
guess that would be like, the start, you know, that's how I kind
of, like started. So you have, like, really important point, and
I'm gonna go backwards. So, yeah,
multiple times through your story, you were talking about like, you
know, you feeling like you suck fast and you
just didn't understand.
Always, like a lot of us start, and we can't do the half a page.
We start the verse every few weeks, yeah, but What? What? What
caused you to just keep going and realize that the more that you
work
through, like, what? How? What fueled that mindset for you? Okay?
So two things. One, as I said, my goal wasn't to memorize the Quran.
It was just to learn it. So I just, like, I loved being there. I
love the process, you know what I mean? Like, I just, I loved it.
That was one, but two. Honestly, if it were up to me, I swear to
God, I would have not finished. It was number one, by Allah's mercy,
but also, too, by the encouraging sisters, like my teacher, when I
tell you, like, I would cry so much, and she would always be
like, No, it's okay, you can do it, you know? And then even, like,
and the sisters in my house class too, they weren't all my age. They
were actually, like, a mixture. It's like, I some of my classmates
were there with their moms, right? Um, so it was like, a group of
like, you know, some are teens and some are adults and stuff. And
they would give me such really good advice, you know what? I
mean, they would always, like, encourage me. Like, every time I
was down and I was sad, they would be like, no, no, you can do it.
Because I kid you not, and my confidence, like at that time, and
you know, I mean, I still have issues in certain areas, but for
Quran, I definitely didn't think I could do and I remember so many
times where I thought to myself, I'm definitely going to give up. I
need to give up. I cannot do this. So many times, like, consistently,
you know what I mean? So it I mean definitely Allah's help, that's
always number one, but also the advice of the sisters around me
that was so helpful, so helpful, like, and the funny thing is, I
don't even remember what they told me majority of the time, but I
remember how I felt, and I remember them advising me even
though I don't remember what they said, but at the moment, it helps
me. Do you know what I mean? So, yeah,
great. Segue to the next question. You talked about the experience of
being a child and seeing your mom do a Quran,
talking about when you wanted to quit multiple times you had the
support, which, even if you don't remember what they were saying,
emotionally lifted, right? Feel like emotions factor into the prop
or the journey of Quran, because sometimes people start memories in
the Quran, and then they go through depression unrelated to
them, yeah, depression, or they're going through the Quran, and they
go through a very difficult relationship, like, maybe with
with a parent or a child or a spouse,
and they're emotionally so hurt, like, how do you think you're
giving us amazingly positive emotional attachment? And how?
Just, yeah,
man, that is a very difficult question to answer, and
I don't know, I think, oh man. I think there are so many ways that
you can approach this, and also it depends on the person's life,
because as much as like I can, I can tell you, from my point of
view, what I think, or what would help me for sure, or what has
helped me for sure, but based on someone else's life, it might be
different.
I know that number one for me, personally, like, because I did go
through a lot of difficulties during that time, like, just just
outside of Quran, like, personally and but for me, I don't know.
Quran was, like, my my runaway, like, like, it was like, you know,
for federal illallah,
I felt like that was like, like, the peace in my problems. Do you
know what I mean, like, it was like, like, for me, that was like,
the best part of my life, the Quran, like it was, it was like,
so it's I like, obviously, I'll give advice to those who are
growing their relationship. But for me, it was like, I just like,
I really loved it, you know? I loved being in the environment.
You know what I mean, it was like a bunch of sisters every time you
walk in, so many sisters are saying Salam to you. And everyone
who was memorized in the Quran at the time wanted to do it like, it
was like, because, like, okay, growing up in like, Quran school,
you know what I mean, you go to like,
regular Islamic school, during Quran class, a lot of the kids are
like, Oh, we have to do Quran. Now, you know it's like this kind
of like, oh, negative. So it was actually my first time
experiencing a bunch of sisters together studying Quran that
actually wanted to do it. So for me, that was like, oh, that's
that's really cool. Like, everyone that's here actually wants to be
here. And, like, later on, obviously, as as, you know, like
it grew and stuff like that. There were a lot of sisters that came in
that didn't want to be there. Their parents forced them, or
whatever. But initially, when it started, it was just, it was just
so different, you know. So for me, I loved it, like, I really loved
it, you know, I would stay in school late, you know, because I
just, I just liked to be there.
So, you know, that's, that's me, as for other people, the thing
with Quran that I would, I would advise, number one, is
understanding it. I think that's key. I think that memorization is
for those who, you know, want it, and who really want because
memorization requires a lot of hard work. You know, it's, it's
really, you just have to work hard. It's not about skill. You
know, there are people who have skill that memorize the Quran, and
if they have skill and work hard, they're flying. That's amazing.
But in general, even if you're horrible, like I was, and I
guarantee you I was,
if you work hard, you can do it right? If so, really the base of
Quran is like working hard and also consistency.
But when it comes to studying the Quran, I think that, you know,
sisters should definitely build their connection with it.
Understand it. You know what I mean? Understand like, what is
this? Kalam of Allah? What is, you know? What are these ayat talking
about? When you build your connection with the Quran and you
see how beautiful it is, I don't see how you would not want to
study it. Like, I genuinely don't under like, if you actually, you
know, I feel like your connection will build naturally, you know.
And if not, even if it doesn't, I would say, you know, just make
your intention that you're trying to do something to become closer
to Allah, and ask Allah to open up your heart towards it, you know.
And for me, a big part of anything, I would say, my Quran
journey, but just anything in my life, if I need help, is asking
Allah, like, ask Allah to help you in whatever. And you know, and you
know, even, like, for example, if I feel like my Iman is really low,
I'll be like, You know what, Ya Allah, this is how I feel, you
know, increase my email or, you know, I want to do this, but at
the same time I'm struggling with, you know, XYZ. So help me to do
this, or open up my heart towards this, or put mercy in my heart
towards this. You know what I mean. So it's a constant, because
there are some times where you know, maybe you don't feel that
connection, or maybe you don't feel, you know, that, like it's
this, like, amazing experience. So ask Allah to put it in your heart.
You know, ask ALLAH that, you know what, I don't feel this connection
to the Quran, but I want to do it to please you. So put the love of
the Quran in my heart. You know what I mean. And even if you do
have that love, you still have to constantly ask Allah for it,
because you don't know he might take it away, you know what I
mean. And so it's kind of a continuous journey of like asking
Allah for me. That's like, key, you know, asking Allah for help,
because without him, you can't do nothing, you know what I mean. And
like,
I I'll say this again, like, if it was really up to me, it would,
like, I wouldn't have done it. You know what? I mean, it's really
Allah's mercy, if you think about it like it's Allah's like choice
that he did that. So you really have to ask him, you know. So that
would be my advice, you know, ask Allah for help, and to open up
your heart and also learn the meaning and and just build your
connection
with the Quran, Allah. So you just talked about.
One of the things talked about was under,
sorry, I can't hear you. Can you please repeat that? Maybe a
I don't know are you? Can you hear me? Okay, yes, I can hear you now,
perfect. I also have no idea why. When I did that, everything
stopped. I am so sorry. No worries. No worries. Um, so you
talked about using a translation to help you understand through the
whole process, looking back now and you can, like, look at your
understanding and how it over time. One of the that people talk
about when they don't understand Arabic is how they struggle with
connecting to the Quran like in taraweya. Yeah, been praying for
hours, and it's all in Arabic.
How did memorizing and not necessarily. It's not like you
were studying in Egypt and you were surrounded by Arabic and
everything, yeah, reading a translation, and with that, over
time you got to understand the meaning, like, how would How would
you say that works for someone who's trying to understand the
Quran meaning, even if they are not a full time Arabic student,
okay, okay, sorry, I might okay. I might have to ask you to repeat
the question, because there's two points that I wanted to bring.
No, no, I totally got your question. No,
no, no, you're good. You're good. No, it's just I have two points.
Number one, I just wanted to clarify that even though I was
doing word by word translation, I was also very familiar with tips
here, because they had multiple classes in and I had friends in
the tips here classes and almost every day, and I have specific
friends. I remember I would go to my friend and be like, Hey, what
did you guys talk about? So she would share with me what they
learned. And I was like, Oh, that's so beautiful. Because I was
always like, you know, I really want to take time like, I really
want to do it. So I was always like, every chance I could get, I
would listen to the tips here, whether it was I had free time. So
let me go sit inside the tips to your class, just as a listener, or
I would ask my friend when she was done to explain to me. So even so,
you know, word by word translation, I think it's very
helpful, but it's also very limited, right? Whereas when my
friend would come explain to me was like, Oh man, that's so
beautiful. So that really also helped build my connection with
Allah, and also helped me build great friends.
But yeah. So that was a key thing, that every time I had a chance, I
would listen to the tafsir every time, every time, every time. And
so with that, I had, like, a kind of tafsir background, not for
every single part of the Quran, but for a big chunk of it. And
like, for example, when we had March Break, they were still doing
Thai ma Quran. So I actually came for the March break for the whole
of Surah Yusuf. So there are some Surahs that I was from. And when I
would have free time, I would like listen to the tafsir. So that
helps a lot, because word by word translation is it's great for, you
know, some things, but at the same time, when you listen to kind of
the background of why ayats were revealed, or, you know, why Allah
subhanaw taala said certain things, or the detail of, like,
the words, it's like, oh, it's totally different. And so that
helps a lot. Um,
so sorry, what exactly was your question? I just wanted to clarify
that that actually, I think answers the question. Okay, okay,
so is like trying to really build a build a general understanding of
Quran. Is there a specific resource of tips here that you
recommend? You're talking about going through El Huda Institute.
How can people, like, study with Al Huda? Or are there, like,
certain, I know, we did a session with Chef ate Mia, who talked
about, but, like, because we're talking about what to listen to.
Like, is there particular tips here that you recommend listening
to? Yeah, absolutely. So she has actually the whole Quran in tafsir
on the Huda website. And I can't remember what it is. I just have
the link saved somewhere, and I just always click back on it. But
it's old. It's like, I think 2010 like my mom was in that class. So
I like, I hear her voice sometimes in the recordings.
So, but, yeah, it's, it's just on the website. And she has, like,
she has a detailed tips here, I think that one is in 2010 and then
she has a brief one, which is, I think is in 2012 I would have to
go back and double check, but, yeah, so that is something that
I'll go back to, you know, whenever I'm, like, looking for
tips here and things like that. And then, of course, you can read
up on Ibn Kathir and things like that.
Okay, then, masha Allah,
so much of your journey already wanted to know what it was like.
It wasn't memorization. You wanted to know what you wanted to study
it. Oh, yeah. 100% felt like that was from childhood. And you felt
like mashallah, like, you know, happy memories connected to this
from childhood, yeah, what was it about your mom, your, you know,
like about what you saw in in the parental states, or like the
adults around you from childhood that you you.
That inculcated that love inside of you. Because I've never heard
someone talk about their journey like this, like, from the time I
wanted to start the Quran like,
the thing is, I don't want to, how do I say this? I don't want to
make it sound like I always
like. I do remember having memories like as a kid, where I
didn't want to read the Quran. I do remember having that, but it
wasn't,
I don't know, it wasn't like a strong, like, hate for the Quran.
It was more of, like, I'm kind of lazy and I don't feel like doing
it, you know what I mean, like,
I think that was kind of it, you know, and then, but I was always
in, like, Quran classes and stuff like that.
But I think, honestly, just like seeing adult, and it's funny
because, you know, we're in a society where we say, like, Oh, if
I do something and it doesn't affect you, why do you care?
Right? But it's funny because just the image of seeing people who
love studying the Quran that was enough to make me think that,
okay, I want to do that someday. Do you know what? I mean, like,
modeled for you, yeah, do it, yeah, yeah. And it wasn't, and it
didn't even hit me right away, though, that's the thing, like,
because when I was when, you know, they were studying Quran, I was
how old, maybe, like, seven, and then by the time I had the
opportunity, was like 13. So there was, like, I mean, maybe a small
gap for some people, but for me, it was, like, kind of a big gap.
Ish, do you know what I mean? Of like, you know, going through,
like, whatever phases that you go through.
So, yeah,
that's actually very powerful, because you're talking about role
modeling the Qur'an and you which is an institute of woman and woman
residing in Qur'an, yeah, this, like whole discussion that we have
a lot of times on Instagram, lives with other women who've memorized
and are reciters are different, like modeling that and the
important for daughters and for sons. Yeah, 100%
what advice would you give to a mother, to a woman who's not a
mother who wants to help create that kind of culture for people in
their lives and like, have you know this? Like, love for the
Quran, but they haven't memorized it. Yeah, they're they're just
thinking about this journey. Like, what advice do you have? Okay,
I think every question that you ask me, I'm going to say the same
thing. And just like anyone who's close to me knows this, every time
somebody asks me something, I'm like, Well, there's two sides,
but, but I think I'll give like, some general advice from whatever
I've experienced, or from whatever I've seen,
definitely create good memories with the Quran like, create good
memories with the Quran. You know, whether it's because, like, you
know, there are some people who say, like, Oh, I love the Quran,
but like, they're never reading it, or I love the Quran and
they're never talking about it, or I love the Quran and just never,
like, just, it's a ghost. Like, Quran is a ghost. It's a ghost.
You love it. I don't know.
Um, whereas, I think it's very important to create good memories
of the Quran. And like, every time you, you know, talk about the
Quran, it should be like something great, or like, Oh, look how
amazing this ayah is, you know. Or, you know, every moment can be
like a moment of reflection. Like, I think that's like, key you know
that. Like, even when you're like, driving and you see something
like, oh, you know, masha Allah the Quran says this about, you
know, this situation, you know, like, just good memories with the
Quran, and don't punish your kids with it. You know. Don't be like,
Oh, you're in trouble. Go read the Quran. No. It's like, make it
something good. You know that? Oh, my God, guess what? If we do this,
or if you do this, and you memorize, like, three surahs,
we're gonna go to this place. Oh, my God, really they, they have
this, like, Good memory with the Quran. That's definitely what I
would do. And like, as I said, build their connection, you know.
And it doesn't have to be at the same level that you're
understanding it, you know, if you're studying complicated
tafsir, you can break it down for the kids in small ways. You know
what I mean? And like, you know, let them understand it on their
level, in their like,
you know, in their language. Do you know what I mean?
But I would definitely say that, you know. And just like, really
make the Quran a part of, like, your daily life and a part of good
memories, I think that's, I think that's a huge one. You know what I
mean? Don't, because if people are associating Quran with, like, bad
memories, and you know, I'm getting in trouble Quran, like,
it's, it's, it's very unlikely that somebody's going to go back
to it. Like, that's something that they left once they became an
adult. Like, I, I'm trying to, like, live my life now. You know
what I mean? Whereas, if you associate it with good memories,
it might be possible that somebody will go off the path for a while,
but they'll probably come back to it. Do you know what I mean?
So that's and, man, there are so many things I would say. It's,
it's hard because it and depending on, like, who it is, like,
everyone has a different situation that you'd want to address, right?
But I feel like to make it simple, that's what I would say.
Okay,
what about someone doesn't?
Have, maybe someone who's a convert, who's the only person in
their family who is Muslim, maybe some part of a Muslim family, but
who who's
maybe within their family like discouraged to even open the
Quran, or it's just not part of the culture they live in a city
where there's not even a masjid. Maybe there's someone who lives
alone, like, how do you create that feeling when you don't even
have people around you who are around Quran? How do you create it
for yourself?
As I said, dua is key.
I'm not joking. My half my life is
draw is key. When I say, When, when, when they say, dua is the
weapon of the believer. It's not a joke. It really is, like, I can't
think of anything that I've done in my life that did not happen
without dua. So number one, ask Allah to help whether it's
because, Ya Allah, you know, I'm the only one that you know wants
to do this, and no one around me. It's very difficult, but, you
know, facilitate it for me. Or whether it's Ya Allah, surround me
with good people who will, you know, be with me and part of this
journey. Or, you know, Ya Allah, you know, facilitate away from me
like, for me, dura is key, right? And then try your best. You know
what I mean? Like, whatever resources you can do, whether
it's, you know, watching Norman Ali Khan, you know, maybe it's
like, maybe it's a small step what I mean, but draw number one, and
then try your best. You know, whatever, in whatever way you can
try, try your best. And those who combined, Inshallah, you'll get
somewhere for sure, for sure. And when you do find sisters that are
doing something that you want to do, or, you know, try to find
sisters that are doing something that you want to do, keep in touch
with them. Do you know what I mean? But otherwise, Allah is your
best friend at the end of the day. You know, even with a community
of, you know, sisters who love the Quran, they're not always going to
be there for you. Like at the end of the end of the day, you're
going to be alone when you live, like, when you're going to be
alone when you die, and there's going to be certain times in your
life where you're going to be alone. Like, it's happened to me
before, just because I had that certain situation where I was
going to school with a bunch of sister one study Quran, after a
while, I moved and I went to a place where, you know, people were
not connected to to the Quran. And that was heartbreaking, okay? And
that busted my bubble. Because, guess what? I realized that I was
living in a bubble. And when you go outside of that bubble, you
realize that, okay, there's a real world out there of people who are
not connected to the Quran at all. You know, I met Muslim sisters
who, you know, were Muslim their whole life. You know, they're like
old and they didn't even know how to read the Quran, right? And so
you will not. It doesn't matter who you are or where you are, you
will not always have a good community around you, and that's
just fact. That's just life. Do you know what I mean? But you you
know, and as much as you know, you want to try your best to put
yourself in the best situation that's going to enable you to
thrive. But sometimes it's just not the case. And it might be that
consistently it's like that for everybody, or it might be stages
of your life that it's like that, right? And you just have to do
your best to stay connected, even if it might not be as ideal as you
want it to be. So that's my advice, because really, and I've
had that time where, you know, I've been alone, I've moved to
certain places where you know you don't have that community of
sisters memorizing Quran and loving Quran, you know, I've been
to Quran classes where, like, they would recite one page and then
just talk the rest of the time. I was like, What is this
like? So it wasn't like, you know. So then you have to kind of find
ways to, like, I don't want to say increase your own Iman, but you
kind of have to try, you know,
and in that time, remember, Allah is your best friend, and tahajjud,
tahajjud, man, tahejud is going to help you get through those hard
times. So, yeah, that's, that's what I would say. And you know,
whatever steps you can take, as I said, you know, do your best. So
if you can try your best to find even one sister,
then, then just stick to that sister or if you can try your
best, like I, for example, there were certain things that I was I
was looking to be motivated by, whether it's like business or
whatever, and I didn't have, you know, people around me who are
doing that kind of stuff. So I just followed a bunch of people on
Instagram who were doing exactly what I wanted to do. And so you
could do the same thing with Quran. You know what I mean? You
have, maybe in your situation or your area, you don't have people
who are doing that kind of stuff. Guess what we have online now, and
you can use it for good or evil. So find sisters who are doing some
kind of good and just follow them and unfollow everyone else that's
that's doing stuff that you don't want to be doing. You know what I
mean? That way you can kind of feed yourself. You know that
reminder of like, okay, this sister is doing that. Okay, great.
This sister is doing that. Okay, great. You know what I mean?
That's so beautiful community now, where we can people come to the
you did your journey earlier. But is there more to your journey that
you can share with us? Because you actually.
Have an ijaza not completing the organization? Yes. So I did that
in Saudi. I was in Saudi with my husband for, like, a few years,
for three years, and during that time, there was a teacher. I can't
remember if she was, I think she was Yemeni, but nonetheless, you
know, my husband was like, you know, she's giving out ijaza, you
know, why don't you learn from her? So I started learning from
her, and that was another situation. It was great. MashAllah
was fun. I loved it. But it also reached a point where I was like,
Man, I can't do
this. It's hard.
And Alhamdulillah, you know, I got through it. You just kind of
pushed through. And I did reach a point where I kind of, like, I was
like, going here, and then I kind of slacked, and then she was like,
No, I'm leaving at a certain point. So if you want to finish,
you're going to have to finish. And then I worked hard, like, I
remember, like, working so hard at that point, another point where I
was like, I don't think I'm going to do it. I think I'm just going
to give up. And, you know, Alhamdulillah. Like, I did it.
Like, I love so many times where you think you're not going to make
it and you'd still do that's so relatable. Yeah,
100% it was never like, I don't know, I feel like I'm never the
kind of person that's always like, oh yeah, this is easy. I'm going
to know. Like, no, that was not me. That was probably someone
else. So were there over time that you felt overwhelmed with like,
self doubt? Sounds like you're like, Oh, I'm not gonna be able to
do it. Like, how do you overcome those self doubts?
Honestly,
I don't know, man, you just gotta keep trying. Like, besides, you
know, asking Allah for help, which you know will will always be my
number one advice. But also like having, you know, people around me
who are going to tell me, you know, you can do it, like at that
time, it was my husband,
but yeah, man, I don't even know. Sometimes I don't know.
Feel that like all of us go to the Quran our own insecurities and our
own and shame and everything and and then we open it. We're like,
this is a book of healing, and we want, is it to heal and and then
sometimes our own doubts and insecurities kind of like, muddle
that process, and we start thinking, you know, I remember
once I was talking to a Quran teacher, and I was having a lot of
Buddha, and I was like
so much trouble. And she was like, What sins have you been committing
with? And I
have to be completely honest, like, I'm going to tell you
completely honestly. Like, yeah, of course, I'm probably committing
a sin I don't know about, but I'm not
saying my, my I've never done as much vidkar ever in my life as I'm
doing now. Yeah, a Jude like, if there's ever been a time in my
life that I'm on top of my worship more than ever before, it's right
now.
But yeah, kind of sat with me and she's like, I don't know what to
say. And I went and I spoke to a different Quran teacher,
mashallah, and she was like, What do you have going on in your life?
And I was like, Well, this is happening. This is happening like
your soul is just tired. And you Yeah. I was like, Savannah love,
yeah, I'm tired. Have to be tired. And that
was because, yeah, conversation of you're not doing good with Quran
because you're sinning, or you're not doing good not praying enough,
when it's like, yeah, human, and you have your own self doubt and
exhaust, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Man, honestly, it's a mix of
both, because as a teacher, I am not going to lie, and I was
shocked when I found this out, but I have seen how sin can impact
somebody's Quran and like, that is a real thing. You know what I
mean, so and, and obviously, because you don't see, see the
state, state of people's hearts, you can't make a judgment. But you
know, there were situations where I've seen like, Oh my God, why is
it such a difficult, difficult task, you know, to teach this
person, Quran, and then later on down the line, you realize there
was, there was something that was a barrier. And so that's
definitely a real thing. But also it's true that some people, you
know, they have, you know, sincere intentions, and they're, you know,
they're not doing something wrong, and it's just difficult. And
everybody struggles with something. Do you know what I
mean? Like, it's not,
man, everyone has a struggle with something. For some people, it's
Quran. For some people, it's hijab. For some people, Salah, you
know, there's and at the end of the day, that's what's going to
make your good deed, like, you know, weighty, right? The fact
that, like, you know, some things you struggle with. And Allah's
testing to see if you're going to be consistent. Allah's testing to
see, are you going to stick with it, or are you just, you know,
talking, you know, are you just saying that you you love the
Quran? Are you going to really try, right? SubhanAllah? And it's
a purification
better. Like, what
are we intentionally go to the Quran, the more it purifies us and
helps us become better people. Because a lot of people say, like,
Oh, man. Like, look at my life.
I'm not ready. I'm not like, I'm no idea the
Quran will help your life. Yeah,
no, and for sure. And think of and I
Oh, no, continue. Sorry.
No, no, no, please go ahead. No. One thing I always think of is
follow up a good deed with a bad deed. I mean, sorry, sorry, follow
up a bad deed with a good deed. Because I think a lot of people
bad advice,
no, because I've seen people who have, you know, committed, you
know, certain sins, and they've really gone far because of one
thing, and that one thing was enough to kind of push them away,
to just, you know,
go so far. And for me, it was like, wow, now I understand why
Allah says follow up a bad deed with a good deed. Because even if
you've done something wrong, it's like you have a gateway to come
back. You know, Allah is giving you a chance to come back, you
know, like, like, it's okay. You know what I mean? Whereas if you
allow that kind of sin to just take over and like, oh, like, it's
okay, I'm not good enough. Oh, that's going to take you. That's
what shaytan wants. Man, like, that's, that's his goal. His goal
is to take you away, right? And so if you commit a sin and you come
back and do a good deed, like, that's the opposite of what he
wants. And like, there's so much hikma, it really like, just come
back to Allah because and then doing that good deal is going to
give you a little bit more hope. You know what I mean. It's going
to bring you a little bit more closer you can continue what
you're saying. No, we only have about left, and I was wondering,
and with you giving just any advice you have and sharing a
little more recitation for us.
Inshallah. Okay, any advice? Just build your connection with the
Quran, however, it is if that means you're going to recite a
little bit every single day, if that means you're going to listen
to lectures regarding certain suras, but build your attachment
with the Quran like it will give it will give you the answers to
life. That's definitely my advice. And it doesn't like everyone's
going to be different. Everyone has, like, a little, you know,
whatever their life is. But I would definitely say, build your
connection with the Quran any way that you can. And if you can't, if
you don't already have it in your heart, ask Allah to put it in your
heart. That's my number one advice. Um,
yeah, that's, that's pretty much it, I think beautiful, no. And I
think it answered the question, how do you force yourself to love
the Quran? You know, it's not about forcing yourself, it's about
a relationship, right? You're building, yeah? Like you just
said, yeah, yeah. The process to build that in all the different
ways you suggested in the slide you've you've talked about
memorizing, understanding, listening to TIFF, praying to
head, like all these things coming, yeah, yeah, oh, that's so
beautiful. And can you please recite inshallah? Okay, we'll end
with, I guess I'll continue from where I left off, inshallah. And
then
the the AYA number that you left for people who want to follow
along.
Inshallah, how many minutes do we have left? Um, like six, and then
with your
Inshallah, sounds Good. Alright.
Inshallah, everybody.
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Lovely,
you have such a
unique presentation. Thank you so much for having me. By the way, it
is such an honor.
I'm just honestly, I'm I'll be honest for everyone.
I'm just, I'm noone special, okay, I'm just a sister that memorized
the Quran. That's
it, sharing my journey. Nothing special at all. May Allah bless
you, and
a beautiful that may Allah bless us with hearing you mean the
highest paradise alone. I mean, I mean, I mean with,
with us, every person who wasn't, and everyone we love mails panel
to Allah, gather us into the highest paradise
and let
us
like to take a class with you. Do you teach online? Uh, yes and no.
It's kind of like, I'm kind of like, tight right now, but play it
Inshallah, maybe I can make it work.
If they'd like to contact you, what's the best way? Yeah,
Instagram is great. Instagram, you can just add me on my page.
Inshallah, if you want to message me, if you need help advice, you
know, feel free to reach out. Inshallah, tell out your name. Oh,
so it's S, M, I, I, L, E, number four, and then now, N, O, W, so
yeah, Inshallah, I'm just gonna like it right here.
Oh, sorry, I didn't spell it. That's fine. I didn't ask you to
No, no, you okay? Write it out.
Okay, perfect. Oh. W, okay. So, Inshallah, if you can
connect with her on Instagram.
Thank you so much. It was such a blessing, such an honor to have
you with us today, for having me, and you know what, we'll keep in
touch.
Inshallah, thank you. I am Khadija, for some reason my my
comment didn't go through, but thank you so much for posting it.
And Inshallah, we'll continue to benefit from Inshallah, we'll
continue to benefit from your reminders and your recitation.
Inshallah, may Allah, bless you and bless everyone who is with us
today. Subhanallah behind the condition when the stuff
now I never know how to end. So we're
had a lot of.