Maryam Amir – If you arent good enough for Ramadan

			When Ramadan, I felt like I hadn't
done anything spiritually. It was
		

			the middle of Ramadan. It was
finishing so quickly, and I felt
		

			like I had wasted it, and it was
because I had no time. I was so
		

			busy with a particular
responsibility that I had. I
		

			didn't have the time to read Quran
and go for Te awiya and do the
		

			types of things I usually wanted
to do in Ramadan that made me feel
		

			like a terrible worshiper in
Ramadan, even though what I was
		

			doing was worship. Inshallah, the
whole thing was worship. But it
		

			didn't feel like worship. I was
crying tears from frustration,
		

			rather crying tears from the sweet
taste of faith. And I told one of
		

			my teachers how I felt, and he
responded with a statement from
		

			Ibn tayy about this concept called
feral deal to the world that's
		

			basically Allah's panamata that
has put in your life certain
		

			responsibilities. Right now we're
in the middle of Ramadan, a little
		

			bit past it. You may have been
unable to really engage the way
		

			you wanted to, because you're
taking care of your children, or
		

			you're supporting your parents, or
you are struggling with your
		

			mental health, and you haven't
been able to embrace Ramadan the
		

			way you wish you could, but Allah
Spano at all knows your your
		

			responsibilities, whether it's
taking care of someone else or
		

			taking care of yourself, whether
it's the exhaustion In the hours
		

			of working or organizing for
Palestine, for Sudan, for all of
		

			our brothers and sisters who are
oppressed, your Ramadan does not
		

			need to look like the Ramadan of
someone who has so much time to be
		

			in the masjid for so many hours,
or to read the Quran five times in
		

			one month. But it doesn't mean
that what you are doing right now
		

			is not seen, appreciated and
beloved to Allah. If you could,
		

			you would be doing all those
things that you think are the most
		

			amazing ways to spend Ramadan. So
just shift your intention. This is
		

			the time to shift your intention
and focus on the fact that Allah
		

			has given you certain
responsibilities in your life
		

			right now and with the intention
they are worship in and of
		

			themselves. If you cry tears of
frustration instead of tears of
		

			the sweetness of iman, know that
Allah SWT sees them. Who better to
		

			witness your wishing that you
could worship than the one who
		

			will reward you for doing it as if
you did because you would if you
		

			could, and rewards you for all
that you're so busy doing for his
		

			sake.