Maryam Amir – How can I get build a relationship God when I feel terrible about my relationship God
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The speaker discusses the importance of having a strong relationship with Islam to avoid becoming embarrassed and pray. They also emphasize the importance of learning to read the Quran every day to establish spiritual experiences and avoid mistakes. The speaker suggests finding mentors and working with them to improve one's understanding of Islam.
AI: Summary ©
How much individuals can impact how we feel about ourselves and
our relationship with Allah. So if you are as a child, we're
constantly hit to read the Quran, or maybe you had a teacher who
spiritually abused you instantly. And Dr RANIA is the expert on
this. May Allah, bless her, when you have a relationship with Islam
that started with parents who used Hellfire to threaten you, to get
you to go to bed on time, like when Islam has been used in these
ways, which is not from the revelation, it's not from the
sumna, to teach Islam in these very literally painful ways. A lot
of times as an adult, you can have an aversion. May Allah protect us,
to prayer, to Quran. And I've, I've encountered so many people
who ask me this, like, how do they process wanting a relationship
when the beginning of the relationship started with a very
painful experience? And the first thing to recognize is the fact
that you want a relationship speaks to how strong your love is
for a law. Second thing is realize that sometimes we project the way
that we feel about ourselves onto Allah. So if I don't like myself,
if I loathe myself, if I can't get over a sin I committed 567, years
ago, months ago, weeks ago, and I'm constantly making Toba and I
can't, can't, can't even imagine Allah forgiving me, and so I
assume that, because I hate myself so much, that's how Allah sees me.
So then I've met people who say that they feel embarrassed to pray
because they don't think Allah would want them to pray because
they're not righteous enough for prayer, for every type of worship.
Someone has said this, whether it's salah or hijab or walking
into a masjid space. Versus Allah keeps telling us that anytime we
go back to him, we are sincere in our repentance, he accepts and he
forgives, and that we do good deeds to wipe out the bad. So
realistically, look at yourself and think about where does this
feeling stem from? Some of us are really just caught up in life
that's very human. But for others, there's some reason why examine
what that is for you and work on healing yourself from a spiritual
place with the help of Allah. So what that looks like is a for
example, working with a Muslim therapist if you've actually gone
through trauma. The second thing is creating new experiences with
worship. You don't let someone who when you were 13 had to say
whether or not you're going to pray when you're 27 don't give
them that power. You have the power. Why Allah's Will to choose
to pray today. Don't give anyone that level of pordence in your
head. But choose it's going to be your relationship with Allah, and
you build new experiences with that relationship. So let's say,
when you used to read Quran, it was in a very, you know, in a very
particular room. Choose to read the Quran on the beach, read of
Quran on a cafe, read of Quran taking a hike. Re establish new
experiences with the Quran, so that your brain makes new neuronic
experiences with that, that worship and make sure you have
very consistent worship. Obviously, we have Salah and we
have the Quran. But beyond that, number one, read the Quran every
single day. I didn't know Arabic. I read it in English. The Quran
changed my life. Changed my life in English, until I learned
Arabic. So every single day, take a certain amount in whatever
language you can understand, if you can read Arabic, to do it,
even if you're super slow, do it every day. One verse, five verses,
one page, consistently. And for a Quran translation, I recommend
Mustafa work with mentors. Find sisters, mentors Sheikha that you
can study with, because a lot of times, you're going to go to a
random Islamic website to ask about a woman's question, and
you're going to walk away from there going, how do I process that
answer? Instead, seek mentorship with real people. You don't have
to go through this journey alone, and that anytime you doubt
yourself, remember, if you doubt yourself and you wonder, where are
you with Allah, it's because you care about Allah.