Maryam Amir – Do you want to remove hijab
AI: Summary ©
The speaker discusses the negative impact of wearing certain clothing on women, including their appearance and reputation. They recommend speaking with a Muslim therapist to learn about the reasons behind certain clothing choices and encourage women to learn about their
the role of certain clothing in their personal lives. The speaker also emphasizes the importance of learning about the
the role of certain clothing in women’s
the
the role of certain clothing in their personal lives. The speaker also emphasizes the importance of learning about the
the role of certain clothing in women’s
the
AI: Summary ©
I was at a conference on Saturday where
there was a question on a woman who
had worn hijab for a man.
The point was that she had worn it
for someone else, not for Allah, and so
should she remove it?
So, number one, this is not about any,
any sister who has removed her hijab.
Only Allah knows every person's situation.
And I've spoken many times on social media
about women I know personally who have removed
their hijab because of trauma, because of unaliving
attempts, because of abuse, because of a number
of reasons.
So truly, we do not know what someone
is going through.
We only see on the outside.
And we always make dua for our beloved
sisters to bless them in every way.
So this video is not addressed to the
sister who has removed her hijab.
For you who is questioning whether or not
to take it off, number one, in some
community spaces, hijab is the most focused on
part of a woman's existence.
This leads to a lot of anger and
resentment, understandably, because if we are to say
that the reason we wear hijab when explaining
it to people who are not Muslim, one
of the reasons is so that a woman
can exist in being known for the work
that she puts forth rather than what her
body looks like, that she is not influenced
by beauty standards of society that are constantly
changing, that her beauty is in her connection
and submission to God in a very public
statement, that at the same time, we would
say that some Muslim communities really make that
the absolute focus of who a Muslim woman
is.
So ironically, we make hijab the focus of
her appearance when at the same time we're
sharing how hijab allows us to take the
focus off our appearance as women.
So as you are navigating the way you
feel about hijab, what I would recommend is
you sit and you actually write a journal
of all the reasons why you are struggling
with hijab.
Is it because of community conversations surrounding women
and womanhood?
Another example of this is when women have
told me that they were told to wear
hijab to protect themselves for their husbands, to
preserve themselves for their husbands.
They were told this when they wore hijab
in middle school, and now they're in their
30s and they have not found said husband,
or they did get married and it was
a very abusive or painful relationship.
So hijab had been tied to a man,
and in de-centering the intention of hijab
being for Allah and not men, it's important
to acknowledge that that might have impacted the
way you feel about hijab right now, versus
hijab, what it is in and of itself,
is an act of worship for Allah.
So learning what hijab is, is critical for
this process.
Hijab on YouTube, which I hope can help
inshallah.
What I would recommend is not making a
decision right now when you are going through
something or someone else is going through something
that's impacting you.
I recommend speaking with a Muslim therapist who
can help you understand why you're considering removing
hijab.
Not making a decision when you're already in
a heightened emotional place can help with isolating
your confusion or your confliction surrounding hijab versus
hijab being one of a number of other
issues that are just conflated together.
Also, I've been told by many women in
Islam that they don't really know the role
of Muslim women in Islam.
So when you come to learn about who
the women companions were, you know very likely
that Nusaybah came and defended the Prophet in
Uhud.
You know that Fatima also came with Ali,
and they cauterized the wound on the face
of the Prophet.
Do you know about the women companions who
when they heard about hijab, they rushed to
wear it?
And why did they do so?
Because they had time to develop their iman.
Aisha says that when the verses on hijab
were revealed, women wore them right away.
Why?
Because she also mentioned separately that they spent
time getting to know the revelation about the
hereafter, about who Allah is, before laws were
revealed.
Learn about the names of Allah.
Dr. Jina and Yusuf has a beautiful book
about the names of Allah.
Make dua to him by those names every
week.
Get to know who he is.
So that it's no longer about the what
of hijab, but the who.
The who it's for.
And finally, right now, we have in the
women of Gaza and the women of Sudan
and so many places where women who wear
hijab are steadfast in that.
That they don't want to be, even without
hijab, in the privacy of their own tent
because they're afraid of being martyred without it.
Because of their commitment to hijab for the
sake of Allah.
And we can draw in those examples.
That being said, hijab can be very difficult
for so many sisters for so many reasons.
There's a lot of pressure to look a
certain way, including, especially including, in the hijabi,
Muslim, modest, influenced fashion industry.
So if the pressures of dressing in hijab
and trying to fit into a particular way
of what hijab looks like is affecting you,
maybe consider unplugging from those accounts for a
bit.
And instead, you can follow the voices of
women who are scholars of Islam, who are
teachers of Islam, who can help you learn
Islam and your agency and role as a
Muslim woman.
Instead of how to look beautiful in hijab.
Which I think, in and of itself, creates
a lot of turmoil for sisters who are
trying to navigate self-esteem.
And finally, if you worn your hijab because
of someone else, like the question about wearing
it for said man, you may feel like
they had power over you, which is why
you put it on.
But you also give them power when you
choose to remove it because of them.
Hijab is about you and your relationship with
Allah.
My friend's mom used to abuse her and
she would do so in the name of
religion.
And my friend wanted to read Quran, but
she said every time she wanted to open
the Quran, she just thought about her mom
forcing her to read it.
And so she said she wouldn't give her
mom power over her by reading the Quran
and allowing her mom to have that influence
in her private life.
But she wanted to read the Quran.
And so I told her, look, you're giving
your mom power over you every time you
don't read the Quran.
You want to build this connection with Allah
through his words.
And again, for my sisters who have removed
their hijab, you know that I deeply love
you.