Kamal El-Mekki – Jumuah Khutbah 17-02-2023

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			remote data to her Hakuna Matata tin Vida COVID at Ambala, Allah will close out and for now,
Brothers and Sisters in Islam, the purpose of our hotbar today is to help us understand teenagers
better. And for the teens, it's to help them to better understand themselves. And we begin with when
they start to mature, their body starts to release their hormones. For males, it's estrogen and for
females is for males is testosterone and estrogen and progesterone for the females. But these
hormones, they have an effect on their thinking and under behavior as well. So these increased
hormones, the first thing is they they make them seek out emotionally charged experiences. And
		

			that's why you see teens, they engage in risky behavior, whether it's speeding, and for the non
Muslims drinking and driving, and you probably now see videos because the videos themselves and they
put they're attempting things that are extremely dangerous and extremely irrational. But that's due
to these hormones for the most part. And then it makes them their responses to emotionally loaded
sounds and images. It makes that more intense. And that's why when youth get into something, they
get into it all the way if they love sports, they love it all the way if they believe in something
they believe it with their entirety. And that's why the Scholars used to mention, if you look at the
		

			earliest Muslims, you will find that you'll find that the majority of them were youth. And the
scholars mentioned one of the benefits behind that is that when youth believe in something, they
will do anything for it. If you look at Abu Bakr gala on the first day he became Muslim. He brought
six people to Islam on his first day and on his second day he brought another four people, but if
you look at the six people that he brought on the first day
		

			each one of them and interestingly five of them are from the 10 given glad tidings of paradise on
day one. But we have a suburban I want Abu Bakr brought him to Islam don't have no Obaidullah Saddam
Nabi, what costs with my son, I'm gonna ignore off
		

			as the wearable I won, he was 15. Which means that when a worker went to call people out to Islam,
he didn't say, Oh, this is just a little kid, as we say today, we call them kids. But he saw that a
capable young man. And so as the webinar almost 15 tall have not obeyed the law, he was 16 years
old. So I didn't have your class was 17. And of the older of the bunch mathematic, not fun was 28.
And I'll go hug now was 30. These are the older two. And you keep exploring and looking at the
companions that are our heroes. And you will see that there were 16 and 17 and 18. And 14 and 12.
When they were given Dawa, and they were invited to Islam and they became Muslim.
		

			I didn't even thought it was 10 Zane of the daughter, the problem was 10. You see a lot of young
people in the scholars said part of the wisdom behind that. One is that the youth they haven't been
in go for an idol worship for the last six decades, just a few years of their life. So it wasn't
totally ingrained into them. But the other thing is, if they believe that something is the truth,
they give it their all.
		

			And that is part of the nature of teens. And that's why maybe your child is so into soccer to a
degree that
		

			is mind blowing to you or just frustrating to you, or there'll be into something else all the way
in, it completely encompasses, and they're completely engrossed in it.
		

			So now we have the part of the brain known as the prefrontal cortex. And that is in charge of or
helps you with thoughts concerning planning ahead, risk assessment, and controlling impulses. So the
bad news, I guess, would be that this part of the brain, the prefrontal cortex only completely
matures when you reach the age of 25.
		

			So until the age of 25, they're not that good at risk assessment, they're not that good at planning
ahead. And they're not that good at controlling their impulses. And to make matters worse, there are
other things that are stacked against them. And the purpose of mentioning this material is not to
tell the teenager, you are doomed, and there's no hope for you. The purpose is to say, be aware of
what you have to fight against, you have to do extra work, and you have to be aware of your
shortcomings, and how we feel and make up for the shortcomings. We'll look at that in a minute. But
there are many other things working against them that they have to resist, there is a hormone called
		

			allopregnanolone. And this is released when in a stressful situation. For adults and young kids, it
calms them down. But for teenagers, it causes more agitation and anxiety. And that partially
explains the angry teens, the teens who dislike their family and dislike either their siblings and
dislike their life and all these other things. And on top of that, honey, for lack of a better term,
it could still get worse. So now since the prefrontal cortex is still not complete, so what did they
use to make those necessary decisions, they use the part of the brain known as the amygdala. And the
issue with that is the amygdala is responsible for emotions, aggressions, impulses, and instinctive
		

			behavior. So after mentioning all this,
		

			we should now clearly understand why Allah subhanaw taala and one of the wisdoms behind why Allah
subhanaw taala stressed listening to your parents so much, and obeying your parents so much. It's
saying it's like saying you don't have the faculties the complete faculties are the complete
capacity to make your decisions and to chart out your your life. And therefore you need to take it
from those who have completely mature than who have experienced all this. But if you don't listen to
them, there will be no no value of that. And there'll be no guidance that you will take from them
and that's why there was so much stress in the Quran, on obeying parents and listening to parents
		

			and as we all know Allah subhanaw taala will mention it right after mentioning the number one sin
which is shipped, or Allah Subhana Allah mentioned what we were all created for to worship Allah
alone. Why Buddha Allah what not to share Kuba? Ha ha what meanwhile today in Asana and how many
verses like this in the Quran? Worship Allah alone. Do not associate any
		

			Think in worship with him, and obey your parents and be good to your parents, and be obedient to
your parents. So that's part of that wisdom, because it's telling you, you are not capable. And if
you were left on your own, it would be problematic. So therefore, listen and obey to those who are
in charge and responsible for you. And they are mature in ways that you are not.
		

			There was a very interesting study by one of the universities, they asked teenagers how well they
know themselves, and they said, rate or rank it from a scale of one to 10. So most teenagers said
eight or nine, most of them, I know myself as an eight or nine, that's how well I know myself. Then
they interview people who are in their 40s. And they said, How well do you know yourself? They said,
also eight or nine, most people said eight or nine? Then they asked them, now that you're older, how
well do you think you knew yourself when you were a teenager? And all of them hovered around the
numbers five and six. And then to make it more interesting, they interviewed people who were in
		

			their 70s. And they said, How well did you know yourself when you were 40? And they said, five or
six? And how well did you know yourself when you were a teenager, and they said two or three, these
were the numbers that were chosen. And Wallah, what it does is it humbles us. We understand that
we're always learning. We're always changing. We're always evolving. And we're changing viewpoints,
and we're changing opinions. And even you find even scholars of Islam, they will change as they get
older, they will change their opinions about issues. One of the scholars said, he said, If I stick
to the exact same opinions I had when I was in my 20s, it means I haven't matured at all. And alone,
		

			many people many of us, we get very angry, when the chef used to say hello. And then after 30 years,
he says haram, we get very upset, and people start to accuse them of working for the soltana all
kinds of things, but no the person matured the man change, people change. And if you remain upon the
same thing as when you were 20 that means you didn't go anywhere, you're in the same place. So
change is natural, and it's actually good meaning in many areas, and we're not not changed where you
compete or challenge your religion, but change where your thoughts change and evolve acceptable. So
we see now why they were so much commanded to obey their parents because you're not ready you can do
		

			it by yourself. So take their guidance. And now we understand why Allah subhanaw taala and the
prophets also eliminate Hadith will mention great rewards for obedient teens or obedient youth, as
we know of the Hadith of the seven types of people that will be under the shade of the Throne of
Allah azza wa jal on the day when there is no shade except that is provided by Allah azza wa jal,
and amongst them the Prophet SAW Selim said well, Shah Boone Nasha Aviva Tila and a young man and of
course it means also a young woman who grew up in the obedience of Allah and the in the worship of
Allah azza wa jal. Why is that so great? Why are they what with people who resisted much stronger
		

			things? Because now we understand that when a young man chooses obedience to Allah and worship to
Allah azza wa jal, that means they fought all these other things. They fought against all their
instincts and their hormones and the risky behavior that tendency to do that and the fought against
the other hormones that give them more anxiety. And even though it wasn't mature, they made a mature
decision, they made the right decision. So that's why they're in such a great place. And then we
also understand another wisdom behind why the Prophet sallallahu wasallam said in this hadith as
mentioned by a widowed Imam Muhammad Rahim Allah and Sunnah and Tirmidhi and Nabi SallAllahu sallam
		

			said, lace Amina manlam Your Hamza de rana, he is not from amongst us, who does not have mercy on
the young ones.
		

			Well, yeah, RF shut off a cabbie Aruna, which really means here and respects those who are older.
Because at the end of the day, it's not just the parents that form and shape and guide the lives of
the youth. But it's also their teachers. It's also with their whoever, their neighbors, whoever the
elderly are, they all are part of guiding them and steering them and changing them. And that's why
when we understand these things, it goes back to that idea of what they call the self made man or
the self made woman there has never been in the history of humanity, a self made anything. There is
no buddy that never received any kind of help, or guidance or it was this event
		

			in your life that put you in this path or put you in this direction, everyone is indebted to other
people around them, whether they're aware of it, whether it was direct, or indirect. So if that's
the case, that makes us open to the idea of receiving advice of changing our viewpoints and our
opinions that we don't know at all, and you find youth today, they watch a two minute video on
YouTube, and they think they know everything. Teachers complain of how the youth will tell them. I
don't agree with that.
		

			Too soon, too soon for you to disagree. You still didn't know you didn't look at the perspectives,
you didn't look at other viewpoints way too soon for you to start claiming how you agree or
disagree. But many of the problems of not just the hormones and everything else. You see this
aggression amongst teens, you see that they're very mean to each other in school, there's teasing,
there's bullying, in the massage, wherever they are, that has become the nature of how they behave.
That's just how the default everyone is mean, what they called roasting one another, saying nasty
things to one another making fun of each other. It does, and they don't care about the feelings of
		

			others. And part of that, of course, studies also mentioned that they spend 1/3 of their day online
social media, this and that. And they look up to fighters and boxers and rappers and people who only
for like for, for all intents and purposes, blind people who are blind. And it can't be the person
who is guided and knows about the hellfire and believes in Allah and His Messenger SallAllahu
wasallam is going to take guidance from someone who's blind and has no idea about that. And if
someone were physically blind, and you can see, would you say, let me take your hand guide me? Or
would you be the one guiding them? But the problem is, this is where they're getting their view of
		

			masculinity and all other aspects from but when it comes to masculinity, look no further than the
best man sal Allahu Allah Himself.
		

			And what a shame we have such an excellent role model. And then people look up to these people who
are acting arrogant and using profanity and talking about relationships. This is where they're
getting their wisdom from. And they bypass the greatest man said Allah Azza wa sallam who was a man
was physically strong, and was also very gentle, and also has a kind heart and a soft heart, because
that's what a male is. But now they're taught that the male is stoic. He's aggressive. He doesn't
show feelings, doesn't talk about his feelings doesn't cry.
		

			We look at Omar and Armando the Allahu Anhu. He was a strong man. And we believe things about him
that are not even accurate. We believe that he was ready to chop heads off at any time. All these
are narrations that the scholars will refer to as strange narrations and weak narrations. But
nonetheless, we use them to shape this crazy idea of AMA, or the Allahu Anhu. But Omar Golan who
when he came after the Battle of Baba, he found the prophets Allah salah, because the next day, he
found the Prophet salallahu alayhi wa sallam, and Abu Bakr, crying. And he doesn't know what's going
on. But look at his statement, he says, What is causing you to cry? For if it concerns me, I will
		

			cry as well. If I'm included, I'm going to cry as well. And if it doesn't concern me, but que tu de
Buka Ikoma. And if it doesn't concern me, I will cry because you're crying. This level of empathy
from a person that you think is a wild man, that he's willing to cry because his two dear friends
are crying. And that's when you look at it carefully. That's how the man and the male, and that's
how masculinity is presented in Islam, completely balanced, not to one extreme, and not the other
extreme either. And, historically, the West, they always jump from one extreme to the other. They
never, they always go past the middle. So masculinity, the male doesn't show emotions, doesn't talk
		

			about his feelings, doesn't cry and doesn't say I love you to his best friend and does all these
things that made him a rock. And now we're seeing they're not coming to the middle, they're jumping
right over it and going to the other extreme. Oh, there is no such thing as gender. There is no male
and female that was made because you give the boy trucks and you gave the girl dolls. And anyone who
says anything like this has never had a child and doesn't understand anything about children or life
for that matter, because it's not true. But we have the balanced middle.
		

			So
		

			we see that
		

			it's important for us to to explain this then to our teens to our youth to explain to them what they
go through and then to also be aware of what they're exposed to. Because people they're shaped from
their environment. They're shaped by what they are consuming constantly and if they spend 1/3 of
their day
		

			Online it it would behoove the parent to know what they're experiencing online and what they're
ingesting this entire time online but that doesn't mean go become a spy on your children but it's so
important to have talks with them and important to see what is influencing them what is affecting
them without We ask Allah subhanaw taala to make us of those who hear the speech and follow the best
of it Apollo cola haga west of Rolla Emily welcome in 2018. Ask Allah Subhana Allah for his
forgiveness Indeed, those who ask for his forgiveness shall prosper.
		

			hamdu Lillahi Rabbil Alameen wa salatu salam ala Rasulillah. I mean, what Allah Allah He was so
happy about
		

			for our teens, and for our parents to explain to them that
		

			one of the descriptions Allah subhanaw taala described the Day of Judgment you see in the Quran and
the Hadith, many different names and many descriptions of the Day of Judgment. And from those
descriptions, Allah subhanaw taala called it the day of regret the day of Hazara the day of dharma,
people will be regretting how they spent their life, how they behaved while they were on Earth. And
that's like being given a cheat sheet to a test that's coming up when we're alive now. And we know
that the majority of humanity will be regretting their decisions, regretting how they wasted their
life, if you know this information. So that would tell you let me prepare and let me make sure I'm
		

			not regretful on that day.
		

			So it's so important to understand, and we are a people who believe in the afterlife. And when you
don't believe in the Astra, everything is difficult. Every loss is forever, because in your mind,
there is no next life. People get fired, they go commit suicide or hurt themselves, because it's
just one life. But we're believers and we understand and we know for certain that there's going to
be a resurrection, people will be held accountable for their deeds. So that belief affects our
actions and our behavior in this world. You see, the youth being extremely mean to one another
online. They're cyber bullying in class, they're bullying each other. They're saying words that are
		

			hurtful. And don't think Muslim kids, they don't have racism and all that it is.
		

			It is a disaster. Yeah, it's a disaster. So, all this exists, but they need to understand we need to
make them aware that there is a next life and everything you do in this world of things that are
disobedience to Allah subhanaw taala there will be a source of tremendous regret, a source of
tremendous regret. And this hadith Nabi SallAllahu Sallam this hadith is narrated by Muslim and then
we Salah Salem, he said in a hole at a Raju allow the a semi yo multi Yama la years you know and
Allah He Jana hubba odan a man will come on the day of judgment and he is huge and he's fat and a
big man and he will not equal the weight of a mosquitos wing with Allah azza wa jal
		

			he will not equal the weight of a mosquito wing. So they're looking up at people who may not equal
the weight of a mosquito wing with Allah azza wa jal no matter what you do they look up to athletes
who look up to people who have muscles and six pack abs that's like the dream of everyone now but
any alarm fire like a six pack abs I wish I'd have a lot that's it. That's the end of your life by
this person, with his followers with his fancy cars with whatever that we think is great here. He
will not equal the weight of a mosquito with Allah subhanaw taala you want to have wait have wait
with Allah azza wa jal wealth isn't wait followers is that's not wait popularity fame and fortune is
		

			not wait. You want to have wait with Allah azza wa jal have a connection with Allah have obedience
to Allah subhanho wa taala.
		

			For looking up, and we see a lot of times in society when someone's arrogant people start to look up
to them or to start to think something great of them. And that's a bad sign. And it's a sign of
someone who has low self esteem and low self worth less because when you have high self worth or
high self esteem, you don't appreciate people who speak to you in a condescending manner or who act
arrogant because they think better than you.
		

			One of the scholars made this comment he says fair on Allah described as the hub for FOMO for
apparel, he belittled his people, so they obeyed him. That means they had low self esteem. So when
he treated them like this
		

			They thought he must be great and they start to obey Him. And then he said on the on the flip side,
the companions had high self esteem, and they wouldn't sit with someone who belittles them or speaks
to them in a condescending manner. Because Allah subhanaw taala said, Well, no, Quinta for one
valley evil can be done for Bowman holik, the Companions, if you are harsh and hard hearted with
them, they would scatter from around you. Not like the people who are on your route to them and they
obey you they would have left because they had high self worth and high self esteem. The arrogant
people, Allah subhanaw taala on the Day of Judgment gives them reverse punishment. That gives them
		

			reverse punishment. As Nabi SallAllahu sallam said your shirts and Muhtar, Kent, Verona yo, Malta
Yama. And then though, he said, those who are arrogant when they're resurrected on the Day of
Judgment, they will be invalid Zara, Zara and emiliani There'll be the size of ants, we saw the
region in human form. Yeah, and they will have the form of a human being, but there will be the size
of an ant. This is so imagine what a normal human being looks like. If you're the size of an ant,
you're invisible. And there are beings they're scared that if you just shift your legs like this,
they think you're they're gonna be trampled. They can't scream loud enough for you to hear. That's
		

			their punishment, they were arrogant and spoke down to people. And now they're looking up at
gigantic giants, and they're invisible and the whole time they're just trying to not get stepped on
punishment. The exact opposite of the behavior in this dunya. In the besides him continued this to
finish the Hadith. You have Shah who don't mean Colima calm. So a basement humiliation degree that
is coming at them from every angle, exact opposite of how they used to behave, people and behave who
behave in Accra. They don't act like that. They don't act in this way, acting arrogant on Earth. One
of the interesting things is sort of Lachman Lachman, the wise man when he was advising his son, he
		

			told him where to start at. The cadenas Sr, is a disease that afflicts camels and it turns their
neck permanently to the site. So their faces trying to kill them.