Jamal Badawi – Social System of Islam 27 – Marriage Laws In Islam 1 Forbidden Categories
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In the name of God the benevolent the Merciful, the creator and Sustainer of the universe, placed in blessings upon his servant and messenger Muhammad forever. I mean, I bear witness that there is no god worthy of worship except the one true God. And I bear witness that Muhammad is the messenger and slave servant of God, I greet you with my usual greetings. Greeting has been used by all of the prophets from Abraham through to Prophet Muhammad, peace and blessings be upon them all the universal greetings of peace. Assalamu Aleikum, I'm your host, Tama Rashid. Today we have our 27th program and our series dealing with the social system of Islam. More particularly we'll be talking
about restrictions or prohibitions in marriage. I have joining me on the program as usual. Dr. Jamal betta. We have St. Mary's University brother Jamal assalamu aleikum.
Cry Have you very quickly summarize and highlight the main points that we touched on in our program last week.
Last week's program was a continuation of the discussion of the rules of engagement and Islam. And we indicated that Islam did allow the people who are planning to get married to see each other, and to talk to each other without necessarily being in total privacy, or adopting the western style, dating and courting system. And we explained again, that there are some reasons behind these precautions, particularly that Islam prohibits any premarital * or any situation that may likely lead to that. And also to protect the reputation of both parties in case marriage doesn't get through. And also to prevent the exploitation of women by people who are not scrupulous under the
guise of engagement. We also discussed the case of going back on the engagement when things doesn't get through. And we said that the basic role is that the gifts would be returned. And we discuss some of the details of that and the cases of possible financial compensation even to a woman who might be hurt because of the, of the breaking of engagement under certain circumstances.
We also discuss the compatibility in marriage and what it means and that it's not just a class or a stock recei, but rather something that may ascertain the success of marriage.
In addition to this, we discussed briefly, some of the other rules in engagement, that one should not engage a woman who's already engaged to prevent disputes. That one could not engage a woman who's in the waiting period after a revocable divorce or after the death of her husband, a widow, for example, there must be some waiting period and respect of the memory of her husband. And obviously, one cannot engage a woman who is prohibited for marriage to the person. And I think towards the end of the program, we mentioned three basic categories of people who are prohibited in marriage. Some are prohibited because of lineage relationship, others because of marital
relationships, others because of suckling type of situation. So this were basically the main issues. I wondered, perhaps I could have you explain a bit about these prohibitions, particularly the last three that you mentioned, as the way the reasons behind them? Yes. Well, to start with, most of this, actually, all of them there are 15 basic prohibited categories, which can be found all in three verses in the Quran in chapter four verses 22 through 23, or 24, I should say. And by the way, as we mentioned last time, the prohibition applies to both male and female when you say
a male may not marry his sister, the same thing apply a system may not marry her brother. So the same applies also. But one category is the not to marry
a woman who is a divorcee, or a widow of one's father, like a stepmother, for example, and this actually, this prohibition came in response to some of the practices preceding Islam, that when the man dies, his wife could be inherited by his stepson or by by his son, or it was regarded, you know, as related to him. And of course, Islam as we mentioned,
Earlier prohibited that practice, and indicated that a woman is not a subject of inheritance that she herself should be entitled to inherit something of that state of her husband. In addition to this, as stepmothers
widowed, or divorced, is regarded really in a position as that of a mother. So once you've not really, it's not really fitting for a person to get married to.
other categories include the people, for example, like mother, daughter, and sister. And this is not unique to Islam, in all cultures and my understanding in almost all cash I should say, because there might be some variations. In all revealed religions. This is the case. And obviously the kind of love that one has for his mother
is a love that is mixed with respect and adoration. The love of one's daughter fatherly love, one's love for his sisters, sisterly or brotherly type of love, this are so normal human emotions that they should not be mixed or marked with any love which is connotated anywhere in any way with the sexual sexual desire.
In addition to this, there are other categories, for example, that are prohibited in Islam, like the ants, whether from mother's side, or from the Father side, again, because the ants are in a sense equivalent to the position of a mother or father for that matter.
niece's also are prohibited in Islam, because your niece would be really in a status of your daughters. So again, just by analogy,
in addition to this are these particular categories that I mentioned so far are these eight categories are called in Islamic jurisprudence, the Haram
and that means people who are prohibited for marriage to the person under any circumstances and irrevocable manner.
But in addition to this, there are also other reasons about those Muharram. Aside from the instinctive nature that one would not really
think sexually about those categories. At least we're talking about the normal, straightforward creation of God.
These people, also our relatives, and Islam encourages people when they get married to expand their circle of relationship beyond those close relatives. So that gives a chance for better cohesiveness and society.
In addition, of course, to the fact that marrying to this very close relatives may hurt the offsprings. And that's why we find many Muslim jurist including el razali.
feel that this is one reason why marriage to cousins for example, even though permitted in Islam is not really encouraged because of this danger, or possible danger to the to the child.
In addition to this, the same verses also that I cited in chapter four, deal with those who are prohibited in marriage because of suckling relationship. This is a practice that is not too common these days, except an emergency when the mother after childbirth is sick, for example. But some women used to practice this by sending their babies to another healthy woman to suckle the baby. Now, the woman who seconds the baby is regarded as a mother really, in the status of a mother provided, of course, that the child has second enough from her not just an occasional once or twice, but according to the more acceptable opinion at least five times a second from her, because she
becomes to him really like a mother. By the same token, any other girl who cycled from the same suckling mother would also be prohibited to that boy to get married to because again, she's regarded like a sister in cycling. And relatives in cycling, for that matter also, would be prohibited like the aunt of the suckling mother would also be prohibited to the person in marriage. I said, this is not a very common thing these days, but I just thought for completion, I might mention it as well. In addition to this, a person also may not get married to the widow, or diversity of his son, because again, she's just his daughter in law, in the same status as his daughter.
Likewise, Islam also prohibit that the person marry two sisters at the same time. Again, because of close relationship between two sisters, when it comes in the case of marriage, it becomes a very big problem having both being married at the same time to the same person. But if one of them of course is divorced or dies, one may marry her sister
And finally, the a woman who's already married,
obviously, she would not be eligible for marriage to another person.
So these are like the 15 categories all in this day versus Well, that's quite a comprehensive listing over and above these ones that you just described, are there any, any other restrictions that are applicable? Yes, they are. They are things that are related to chastity and others that relate to difference in religion, with qualification that we can discuss.
But let me address the first issue. The question of chastity. In one verse in the Quran in chapter 24, verse three, it says that a person who committed adultery or fornication would not be permissible to get married to a person who has not in other words, those people can only marry among themselves.
This is also confirmed and other verses in the Quran. For example, in chapter five, verse six and chapter four, verse 25, and chapter 24, verse 26, in all of these, there is a clear indication that the person should not get married to an unchaste woman or man, for that matter.
There are good reasons behind that. First of all, it is an expression and manifestation of the moral values in Islam, which prohibits adultery, fornication, premarital or extramarital * relations. And then that sense by providing this restriction,
you're really not rewarding. You're abstaining from rewarding this kind of innocent relationship, and you're rewarding. In the meantime, chastity that only chest people can marry among themselves. So you're making sin, looking rather unattractive because of the consequences resulting from it.
A second reason is that, as I indicated before, the purpose of managing Islam is this tranquility and fellowship?
And how could that tranquility and love and affection grow between one was chased and God fearing, and someone who is not God fearing and doesn't care less about God's commands with respect to basic moral injunctions?
This does not really provide for stability for the family. In addition to that, of course, an obvious reason is the fear
of venereal diseases, which usually are communicated strangely not through illicit relationship, but not through normal marital relationship if, if it's on clean, and Preston relationship, which times as we know, today, could be passed on to the children and affect their their future. So that's restriction actually is also there. Now, what about in the case of the person?
There's been repentance, they've repent for what they've done. Is there any,
any second chance, a second chance so to speak? Indeed, Yes, there are. But again, when you talk about repentance, we're talking about repentance and Islamic perspective, which means that first of all, if a person is doing something wrong, he should immediately stop that. Secondly, you should feel he or she should feel sorry for what was done, because that's an expression again, of humility and acceptance of God's values and moral injunctions. And thirdly, the determination never to fall again, in the same sin. So if this repentance and that light
takes place, then yes, there is a second chance. Indeed, some of the Muslim jurors refer to the verse I cited earlier, or referred to in chapter 24 verse in the Quran, which made that marriage or intermarriage or marriage with adultery or adultery is prohibited. That they say they differ as to whether when the verse is what 30 medallic alimony and this is prohibited to believers, whether that was mentioned as an absolute irrevocable permission, or something that is detestable or you know, condemned. They differ also according to nourished as to whether
the mention of him that this is prohibited or unlawful is in reference to marriage with those adulterous or adulterous or adultery itself the act of adultery. But in any case, some Muslim jurists argue that even greater sins like associating others with God, if the person repent, it can be removed. And of course, by implication, they say if the person has committed
Did adultery or fornication and really had a
you know, strong and sincere repentance then you should be accepted dataset. For example, Chapter 25. And the Quran from verse 68, on about repentance even from marriage of sins.
But in cases like that, even if all these conditions are present, many jurists require that a person should wait first, they default as to whether one should wait one or three months to make sure that the woman is not pregnant, from her previous relationship.
Some even say that if she's pregnant, one should wait until she delivered her baby before marrying her other saying you could
contract a marriage but not really consummate the marriage until the woman delivers her baby. So these are, you know, various
angles of the problem. But yes, repentance sincere repentance may qualify for now, how about
a case of a marital relationship where there's an acquisition, acquisition of adultery? Does that invalidate the marital relationship? Oh, yeah, that's the non standard jurisprudence as Madonna. I think we made some quick mention to that and program 13 of this series. The procedure that Islam provides in case harassment, for example, accuses his wife of committing adultery, when even though as indicated in that program, that there is no particular punishment, if the wife swears, for example, that he's lying, or that she did not commit any illicit act like that. But despite of that still marriage, or maintenance of marriage doesn't make any sense. How could a man or a husband live
with a wife, who was accused by him of committing adultery? So in Islamic Sharia even though there is no particular punishment, but there should be separation between both? So in that case, yes, there would be a separation because there is no possibility of harmony, really, in the future relationship has become just irreversibly prohibited to him. Now, you mentioned a little earlier that there were other restrictions relating to the question of religion, could I get you to explain a little bit about what those were the nature of those restrictions? Well, in Islamic law, and Muslim, male or female is not supposed to get married to a person who associate others with God in
his worship. That's called mushrik.
There are evidence in the Quran to that effect in chapter two, for example, verse 221, it says, do not marry
women who associate others in the worship of God until they become believers. And then it goes on again and the following. I think the same verse also describes the opposite case, that you should not give your daughters to marriage, to those who are already marriage to those who are associating others in the worship of God. So this is prohibited. This is also confirmed, actually, in chapter 16, in the Quran, and verse 10, that a believer is not supposed to hold on to an unbelieving woman.
The same thing applies by implication to an atheist, or apostate, or person, for example, who is a hardcore communist who believes in communism, which is again part of a theistic type of way of thinking,
or to get married to a woman who believes in any prophet after Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him, because again, that means rejection of his message as the last and seal of all of the prophets. So this category is for sure are, are prohibited and managed to the Muslim domestic ID associated with the worship. Well, now what about the situation of marriage between Muslim and and what the Quran refers to is People of the Book Christians and Jews? Is that permissible? Yes, this is permissible because the Quran makes a distinction still, among people, even more non Muslims between those who are like atheist or idolaters, or people who worship several gods and the people of the book which
is interpreted mainly to refer to Jews and Christians.
In fact, there is a direct evidence to that effect in the Quran in chapter five, in verse six, for example, which says that today, good and pure things has been made lawful unto you. So also or lawful also, until are the chest women who are believers, and it says the chest women of the People of the Book.
This is regarded by many Muslim jurist as a good gesture between Muslims and
Christians and Jews in particular,
one way of removal of this barriers, an expression of, of tolerance. But this, however, does not mean that this is necessarily the ideal situation it just to give them a special status and special position because they are the closest to Islam in terms of belief in God, the here after prophets and basic moral teaching and the fact of course that
they received or their prophets originally received holy books from God, just as Prophet Muhammad peace be upon him received the Quran as the last revelation. There are some jurists if I may add, also, who say that the People of the Book may not necessarily be restricted to Jews and Christians, but may include other groups who meet the same criteria. That is they believe in the oneness of God, they believe in Prophethood, they that prophets received some holy books, some, for example, include sabihin, or Serbians, who might have the similar similar characteristics to Jews and Christians. Yeah, that's permissible. And how would you respond to those who say that even categories like
Christians, for example, also associate others with God and therefore, by extension, intermarriage with them is not lawful from Islamic point of view? How would you respond to somebody who held that position? Well, let me first try to give the reasons that usually are given for that and to make rebuttal to that or respond to them. But to start with, there are some people who said something to that effect. This includes, for example, the famous Muslim jurist, Abdullah Muhammad, who was a contemporary of Prophet Muhammad peace be upon him. The same opinion also is held in the Jafari school, or MMA school.
But the appropriate position really is that it is still permissible.
There are a number of reasons for that, first of all, the verse in the Quran, which I cited earlier, in chapter five, verse six, it says, clearly that permitted unto you are the chaste women, of the people of the book that is in marriage. So that's one thing to say that the Christians, for example, associate others with God and His divine attributes by believing in the sonship of Prophet Jesus peace be upon him or believing that Jesus was God incarnate. Yes, it is not regarded as correct. As far as you know what the Islam, Islamic scripture describes. But still, these kinds of
beliefs did exist at the time of Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him. And still, the Quran made a special privilege and distinction of Jews and Christian are people on the book,
as a part, are different from atheist or polytheist or idolatry system, they were distinct. The other reason behind that is that if you really check in the Quran, for example, in chapter 22, verse 17, and chapters 98, verse one, you find that even though the Quran considered anyone who rejects the prophethood, of the last prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him as unbeliever, still among the unbelievers, there were still the two distinct categories, the People of the Book were still put in a separate category. In addition to this, even those who referred to the saying of Abdullah, Mohammed, that famous jurist,
they say it could be understood as discouragement of getting married to a Judeo Christian, but not to say that it is unlawful because the Quran is clear that it is
lawful. And in fact, they may have some good reason, at least insofar as taking precautions, before one engage in this type of inter faith marriages it is permissible, but one has to really take sufficient precautions. What are these precautions be?
Well, there is a good summary of those precautions in a recent book is called fatawa mazara, or contemporary virtex, by chef Yusuf Al qaradawi, one of the most competent jurist in our time. So maybe I just follow his summary in that. First of all, one condition is that the woman should be truly should be indeed, a paper of the book. In other words, she should be a believing Jew, or Christian, to start with. In other words, one cannot say right, I'm going to get married to a woman, an American or Canadian woman, because after all,
These are Christian countries, that's not sufficient. Because we know that in so called Christian countries or Muslim countries, for that matter, they may be some people who might have Christian names.
But they are not really believers. They might be atheists, they might be agnostics, so she must be a believing Jew or Christian to start with.
Secondly, that you should be a chaste woman. And that condition is quite clear, in verse six, chapter five, which I cited earlier, which allowed Muslim it says one must honor that is the chest of the chest women of the People of the Book. So that's an important condition which one has to really be very careful about, which means she should be,
for example, Virgin if she hasn't married before. And that's such one has to make sure that the culture in which that girl is raised is a culture that considers virginity and chestatee a very important moral and social value. And that it's a contract that does not condone premarital * or risk free dating and cursing. And I think one has to really make sure whether this conditions are there when one has a plan like this.
The third and important condition also is that she should not be a woman from people who are engaged in hostility and aggression against Muslims. We find that this is mentioned for example, in chapter 66, verses eight and nine in the Quran. And the Quran also in chapter 58, verse 22, there are prohibitions so if there are a group of people or a nation, which is engaged in warfare against Muslims or aggression, it is not permissible for the Muslim to get married to their women.
A fourth important condition
is that there should be no hurt or there should be no negative consequences affecting the Muslim society as a result of this marriage. And this is based on a rule and Islamic jurisprudence, which is also one of the sayings of the Prophet, LA, da, da, da, da, da da, one should not harm himself or harm others. By that we mean that in some cases, if a Muslim get married to a non Muslim, even a Georgia Christian, there may be some harms, and in which case, marriage would not be really lawful. First, is to hurt other Muslim women. Because a Muslim woman in Islamic law is entitled to marry only a Muslim, she can't even marry a Jew, or Christian.
Now, if Muslim males get married to non Muslim women, and Muslim women can only get married to Muslims, what will happen to them, they may not be enough husbands Muslim husbands who are eligible to marry them. And this results of course, and their deprivation of marriage, or in some cases, even
pushing them into
the situation where they may commit sin, or get married to a non Muslim, which is unlawful in Islam. So there is a big hurt there big harm that could be inflicted on Muslim women.
And in some situations, at least. Secondly, it assumes also, that when this interfaith marriage is permitted, that the Muslim man as the head of the family, is taking charge of leading his family and directing his children in the right path. Now, if this is not the situation, and if there is a possibility that the influence would be greater on the part of a non Muslim mother, then one is likely to lose the future of his children, so that might restrict it. It also assumes that this marriage takes place in a place where there's a predominant Islamic culture, whereby the influence of the mother which is not Islamic could be balanced or more than balanced by the overall Islamic
atmosphere in society. So when Islam allowed that it allowed it by way of tolerance, good gesture, but not at the expense of harming the individual or society or forgetting about the future of his children. That's why some jurists even say that under the present circumstances, Muslim minorities in places like America or Europe or Canada, really should not resort to that permission even though it is not definitely and irrevocably unlawful. Just a precaution. Well, we've exhausted our time for today. We want to thank you for watching. Join us next week. Assalamu alaikum, peace be unto you