Ibrahim Nuhu – Building A Muslim Home
AI: Summary ©
The speakers emphasize the importance of Islam, self reliance, control, and absorption in achieving success. They stress the need for strong relationships, finding a partner who can support and help with family life, learning from past lessons, and trusting oneself. The speakers advise parents to make small donations, avoid giving gifts, and find a balance between giving and helping children. The importance of trusting oneself and not blaming one for a situation is emphasized.
AI: Summary ©
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Once again, I know we had rice. We
had kabza.
But shawarma,
that's the first time I had
a good meat.
Right? Although we have in
the not in Pahang or Jandebay. Wow. That
food is awesome.
Right? If those who want to taste
puree clean,
cooked from the ground,
go to Jandebayg.
Meet Abu Omar.
Beautiful
food.
Let's not talk about food. Let's talk now.
Who's ready for the quiz?
Brothers and sisters,
we'll be having the QR code for the
participants to enter. Hopefully, the team can project
that.
It's q and a.
As for those who
definitely there are questions
that would like to be, answered,
by the panelist, Bayatulillah.
Alright. Brothers and sisters,
scan
take out your phone and scan the QR
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Please, I beg you. I urge all of
you sincerely deep down from my heart.
Please use your real names.
For Allah's sake.
Right?
And okay.
Good.
Okay. Good names.
Okay. Okay. At least this
that's fine.
Who is z? Come on.
A k
is known as
use of Amabdulon.
What? A? I just said don't use a.
Oh oh, okay.
Breathe out.
Is it possible to bring the projector down
a little bit?
Because some couldn't scan from the back.
Oh, okay. Alright. Fine. Chef is gonna arrive.
Right?
Oh, okay. So we have to delay a
little
bit. Stall.
I mean, we have to stall.
Stall. Right?
Wow. I saw Nottingham. It's a whole team,
I guess so.
Alright.
120.
I was told there are around 300 participants.
Correct?
More.
Only a 122?
How do you pronounce that? A t t
y y?
Alti, like give
in Irving.
Sorry. I didn't get that.
Okay.
Alright. The game pin or the game code
is 7552870.
7552870.
Okay.
More than 300 participants, only 125 registered
or scanned the quote
or joined.
Allahum
Ustad.
Right. For those who just walked in, take
out your notes,
refresh
what the 2 speakers have conveyed.
The knowledge that have been disseminated
throughout
the morning sessions.
We'll be starting inshallah.
So prepare yourself. Embrace yourself
for an exciting q
kahoot question.
Right? Quiz. Prepare yourself.
We're gonna start inshallah.
Let's do it. Everyone say.
Louder.
Don't let that kabsa take you down.
Louder.
Come on brothers.
Those kids at the back
energetic
brothers.
Say it one more time.
Good to go?
10
seconds. 10 seconds. Okay.
Have some.
We learned today about patience.
Within this 10 seconds, let's do this by
ourselves.
132.
5, 10. Oh, I should count. Alright.
Okay. Let let us count together. Everyone, 10,
9,
8,
7.
Let the game begin.
Building a Muslim home session 1.
Why were the wives of the prophet
instructed to cover in front of the blind
Sahabi.
Because this draws because of the status.
Alright.
Good question. I like this.
Perfect.
Right.
Okay.
Yes.
Because modesty goes both ways. Interesting.
No reason. Okay. That's just a joke.
No brothers.
What is the one of the rules in
intending a halakah, gathering of knowledge?
The adab of tolebirayin.
Dozing off. Imagine someone answers that.
Respecting the shoe, attending late, whispering when talk.
Wait.
Whispering when talking? How do you do that?
You were talking.
Dozing.
Right. Next question.
Who was
Barziza. Okay. It's Raeliad. Come on. He knows
the story of Barziza.
A prophet who abandoned his people, a sinful
person who pretended to be pious, a righteous
worship of a felt. That's so obvious. Answer.
Yes.
This shows that many of us were not
paying attention
to such Sharif.
Right?
What's up? It's still on the lead.
True or false? Only unmarried and sinful people
are affected by temptations from the opposite gender.
Imagine someone sees,
Oh, wait, Collin. You gotta be kidding me.
Someone took the green color?
Okay. Next question.
Allah must have left.
Aisha is on the lead.
What did Allah say about?
There's some benefits in here.
Oh, it's
who made this question, sir?
Okay. Alhamdulillah. At least no one chose the
red one, which is good.
Right. She's back.
She's on track now. Next question.
Do not approach. What chapter in the Quran
is this from?
Open your Quran app right now. Find it.
Search.
You should also add which number of verse.
That will make even better.
Yeah. We have to do our muraja.
We have to revise and check back the
Quran.
You're Yusuf.
True or false? A believer of the highest
level avoids marriage all his life.
Miss Keane, the one who leaves marriage. Miss
Keane.
Miss Keane.
You Allah.
Oh my god.
What is the one what is one of
the key factors of success?
Interesting.
Self reliance, self control, self absorption,
self indulgent.
Alright.
Quite a tricky
4 options.
Montas.
Sent.
This people will be under Allah's shade on
the day of judgment
except focus the key word except.
Oh,
good
answers.
The one who memorized this hadith and knows
this hadith well,
can answer it well.
For the person who is at the risk
of falling to sin, the nikah is
Shh. Why do you have to tell the
answer?
It's
compulsory.
Come on. Someone
say.
Hamam?
The fitra is to abstain from social relationships.
Imagine someone
says
Okay.
Unbelievable.
Saliha is back.
What is the second objective of nikah?
Sheikh Sajjad's talk.
To be a home that will be a
source of guidance for all. To become garments
for each other, to cover each other's deficiencies,
to create a safe home. Wow.
Good good answers here.
13. Not bad.
What are the 3 basic elements of a
home?
You've repeated this before we end.
Great food, nice decoration, soft bedding.
Good. Wait. We forgot the kitchen cabinet.
Kitchen cabinet is very crucial.
Test.
The is only manifested
through the fabulous of Islam.
Right. Let's see who is the winner. 3rd
place goes to
Fabiola,
a sister.
Okay. I don't know. Is it a brother
or a sister?
And firstly goes to
So, for the winners,
Imran. Imran. Imran. Our brother, Imran in the
white shirt. Mashallah. Barakkala. He's still single.
Obviously, he's wearing a white shirt. I asked
him just now to confirm that he was
single.
So you can claim your gifts from him.
If you want to claim it now or
after, please do meet with brother Amran.
Alright. We move to the next session, which
is I want to invite
a good brother.
A brother that stays in pv8.
A brother that stays in pv8. I want
to invite brother Faraz on stage. How are
you, Faraz? I'm good.
Are you? Good.
How how's how how do you how do
you feel today in today's, session? Today's,
the first conference. The virus is the first
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come to different
Right.
And, we have Amir.
That's the best part of
No. Not really. Because we have them, the
participants,
as the best guests today. Hence, the topic
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I want to seek knowledge and there are
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Inshallah.
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Try to put the mic closer to you.
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Alhamdulillah all of us have gone through
attentively
together in steps
of taming our temptations.
The steps of choosing and understanding or correcting
the view of the views of marriage
through sheikh Sajjad's
lecture.
And now
we also know
what to do after the knot has been
tied.
What comes next
is the upbringing of the children, the terbia
of a child or the children.
How do we educate our children discipline
When emotion regulation.
According to the sunnah of the prophet sallallahu
alaihi wa sallam when the when rasallallahu
alaihi wa sallam stood up when Fatima radiallahu
anhu
came in the house and kissed her.
With this, I would like to invite
Usa Al Nana, Alfadil,
Sheikh Ibrahim,
to enlighten us, to share with us
on the topic of
the
prophet's
way of a bring children.
My brothers and sisters.
Sheikh Ibrahim will be one of the speakers
at our conference on this Sunday.
Let me tell you more about him.
Sheikh Ibrahim graduated from the CUNY of Shariah
at the University of Medina, Almanuwala,
and is now a lecturer at the career
of economics,
for,
this, initiative. May Allah
accept it from all of you
and, bless you and put in your in
your life. Ask Allah
to help us and to aid us to
say that which, benefit
and to protect us from saying that which
is, harmful to to us and the community.
I believe this event is very, important,
especially for,
actually,
in fact, everyone,
because the first and the second part of
it addresses the matters of the youth
more than those who are already married.
And this last part
is for everyone also as well,
because it deals with the of
the the progeny and the kids.
And
one of the reason why we were introducing
the first two, sessions.
And
as I said, this topic is very important
because,
unfortunately,
the war against Islam
is actually taking a new dimension
through this,
what do you call,
part of our society.
The enemies of Islam,
they realize that
fighting Islam and destroying Islam
using weapons
is a joke and,
technically, it's something that is impossible for them
to succeed in that.
They have been trying
since
the time of the prophet sallallahu alaihi wa
sallam
to make sure that Islam doesn't succeed,
but they fail.
They met the prophet
after persecuting him and chasing out chasing him
out of his place,
they met him in several battles.
In Badr,
they fought the prophet sallallahu alaihi wa sallam,
and they lost.
So it was a very painful moment, for
them. They never thought this to happen to
them.
In Uhud, they came also with the same
enthusiasm
that Islam
is over.
They also lost
badly against the Muslim.
And don't forget in
the battle of Badr,
the majority
were the enemies.
The Muslims were the minorities,
but the enemies lost.
In the battle of Uhud,
the Muslims
who are the minority,
around 700
people
participating in that,
jihad,
and the enemies
were about 3,000 people,
and they lost the battle.
And moving forward,
the battle of Hazarqid,
the number of the enemies who went to
Medina to fight the Muslim actually
outweighs the population in Medina.
It's in Medina, collectively,
all of Medina, including everyone, they don't read
that amount of the enemies who came to
the place. So they never thought
this not to work.
The cooperation of the Jew,
those inside Medina,
and the monothelin inside Medina,
and also the cooperation
of the villages and the cities around Mecca.
And with the cooperation of the Jews in
the, the military base,
you know, they had against,
they established against Islam.
But all of these went
in vain. Allah
says,
And, subhanAllah, in the battle of Azab,
even Allah did not let the believers do
the job by themselves that much, but he
want them to be prepared because this is
what Allah wants us to do, to do
what is within our capability.
What it was in their capability is
to dig that trench because this is something
which is not known to the people of
Madina.
So Al Mana al Farisi told them that
they should do this, and they accepted the
the advice.
They dug the trench, and alhamdulillah, it worked.
It deprived the enemies from reaching them.
The battle of Azaab was a failure for
them. Very badly, they failed. Allah
Allah took them back to
to where they came from. They did not
get any good. Whatever brought them to that
place, they missed it.
They have seen this.
And then after that, we have several battles
came. The battle of Khaybar.
Also, the Muslims are,
around 1,005
against 4 to 5000 warriors,
and the enemy is lost.
We go to Hunayn.
The enemy is also lost.
We go to.
In the battle of, you are talking about
300,000
200,000
enemies against only 3,000 people.
And who lost the battle? They lost the
battle.
And there we go, even after Islam, they
have been engaging, you know, wars. They have
been initiating wars against the Muslimi
up to this time of ours.
None of them wars.
They kill us so much and they do
whatever they can do to make sure that
Islam did not succeed.
But none of these effort
was a success for them. They failed.
And therefore,
they realized that
fighting Islam using physical force is a waste
of time. And up to date, they are
killing us. Who is the one who is
dying the most on earth up to date?
It's us. And we are the victor. The
one who is blame is always us. And
guess why are they blaming us?
This is
because of nothing except because
we are with the truth,
and we deny injustice,
and we reject corruption.
And their life is based on all of
these.
As long as these doesn't exist, you know,
if they don't exist, they will not exist.
And that's the reason why they hate the
prophet sallallahu alaihi wa sallam and Islam up
to date.
But over shirkum, the prophet sallallahu alaihi wa
sallam has said,
Islam is going to reach wherever night
and the day reaches.
Subhanallah.
Every place
wherever,
you know, the sun rises, there will be
a time when Islam will reach this place,
whether they like it or they don't like
it. So they have to change their tactics.
They have to change their method because this
one doesn't work
and that's why you have the orientalism
was established
from
long ago, very long ago.
Those people who accept Islam
but outwardly. But inside them, there is nothing
except the kufu.
And the purpose of that Orientalism
is to destroy Islam from inside because they
realize that fighting Islam
from outside is a joke. So they have
to come inside to see how to destroy
it.
That's why in the past, they have been
introducing fake hadith into the Muslim community so
that they can distort the religion from inside
because if you distort the system, the system
is technically
none of this existence.
And that one also went in failure,
but they're still doing,
you know, trying to change the method of
our education, the curriculum, and so many things.
And nowadays,
it is more fierce
because the battle is on our children.
Trust me, my dear brothers and sisters, whether
we like it or we don't like it,
the one who is giving terbia to our
kids
is others
other than us.
With the existence of the social media,
with the existence of different kind of environment
which is not wanted to us,
our children are taken by others.
And this is very dangerous.
We are suffering
in Palestine.
We are suffering in Kashmir. We are suffering
in Iraq. We are suffering in many, many,
many other Muslim countries
where the Muslim are, you know, threatened by
the enemies of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala.
But trust me, one of the worst battle
against us is this.
Because
if they manage to succeed
in producing a Muslim who doesn't care about
his religion, they don't need to go and
do whatever they're doing nowadays
because they have somebody who doesn't care.
They have somebody who's willing to put all
the efforts he has to support their mission
in distorting
the world, not the Muslim alone.
They are not targeting us alone. They are
targeting everyone.
That's the reason why I said this topic
is very, very important. The conference in general
in general
is very important. Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala put
in it and make it a success
and help us also to say that which
is right and to go out of it
with that which will benefit our our community.
So please just, put this in mind
and try to see what I'm seeing.
That the battle, the strongest battle against the
Muslim community is this
taking over the terbia of our kids from
our hands.
We would like you to like it. You're
growing other than which
you have been, you know,
targeting or aiming in your marriage.
Most of us won't be married.
When it comes to the children, you want
to have a better family. You want to
have this and that. That's why you are
very sensitive and particular when it comes to
choosing that person who should be in your
in your company.
However,
after that, we're very negligent.
We stop doing that which we're supposed to
be doing, then somebody
take this one
from us.
So that's why I said it's very important
to pay attention to this, kind of, events.
So what can we do if this is
the case?
Nothing to panic about.
I believe
change is always possible as long as we
are looking for it.
This is the beauty about this religion.
You will never be late as long as
you're willing to change.
If you come back, be even at the
last minute, Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala will grant
you a success and accept you
and help you, if you're sincere, to make
a success in whatever you're doing.
So my advice to all of us, whether
we have children
or we don't have children, please put this
in your mind that I have a big
job in front of me.
And
the kind of terbi I have been giving
my children,
which I believe is wrong, it is not
late for it to be changed.
You might face difficulty in terms of bringing
you your kids
back to the right track, but it's okay.
At least Allah
sees your intention and Allah sees your heart.
So what is the solution?
The solution
is 1,
which is to go back to the life
of the prophet Sallallahu alaihi wa sallam and
the companions of the prophet sallallahu alaihi wa
sallam and the predecessors.
So basically going back to the first
3
generations that the prophet salallahu alayhi wa sallam
praised.
The generation of the sahaba,
the generation of the tabiayn,
and the generation of the Atba' Tabi'in.
Whatever was done by those generations
is the best way for us to bring
up our kids.
You will love.
Forget about all of these claims
which are fake,
that we are living in the 21st century,
the modern
time. We have the capacity also to devise
a system other than theirs to take care
of our kids through it.
Let's be smart
and realistic to ourselves. We have seen what
the kind of system we introduce produce for
our own communities.
Does it succeed? Who is happy
with his children to be in the position
they are in?
Who is happy with the environment, you know,
completely
you can take a back seat and relax
and say, I don't care. I don't worry
because I know being in this environment, my
child will never get to be deviated.
Who is that person?
Technically,
none.
So what happens?
Because we lost that The track
to those predecessors that Allah
created them and put them as an example
for us.
Whatever you need to succeed in this life,
whether it is related to terbio of your
kids, marriage itself, how to live with others,
the
past generation,
they left a legacy which is sufficient enough
for us. So all that we have to
do is to go back and read those
books that contain none other than their biography
biographies
and their approaches in giving terbia to the
kids. How did they manage to produce leaders
that let the Ummah of Islam to success?
How did they manage to produce leaders that
led the Ummah of Islam to success? We
have to go and see the keys
used by those people, the principles
used by those people, you know. And how
do they succeed in that terbia? Why is
it so difficult for us and it wasn't
with them? It is part of the fitra.
They just develop that fitra and it works
with them. And I believe, if we do
that,
the predicament
and the obstacles
that are hindering the ummah to make a
success and go back to the previous,
you know, prestigious nature that Allah gave us,
we will be able to go back to
it.
So what is the first thing to be
done? So what I'm trying to say is
the solution is giving them tell me according
to
the Quran and the sunnah of the prophet
based
on understanding of our predecessors.
That's the solution.
And what is terbia?
As I said,
you know, you grow something,
develop something, nurture something, you know, gradually
step by step
up to the time when it is complete.
So helping
Dinesha,
the baby,
from day 1 when he was born and
actually
from way before,
trying to do the right thing
up to the moment this human being is
complete
in his thinking,
approaches,
you know,
physical appearance
and whatsoever
this person need to succeed and to survive
in this dunya. Help him to be matured
in that in that nature.
That's what terbiyah is all about.
And this is insha'Allah,
deal with, in
this session of of mine.
So the first thing you should do
is to prepare a base.
As they say in Arabic,
Establish the base and then you can write
on it. You can't write on a on
an air.
You have to establish the base for you
to write on it.
So if we're talking about terbia, you have
to establish
a base which is none other than a
conducive environment
that will help and support you to give
that 10 b
a. Because trust me, if you are not
having this environment,
you will be yelling
and shouting and trying and putting all the
efforts and somebody is too strong. You know,
establishing
and making something is much easier than destroying.
Destroying is very, I'm sorry, it's it's much
difficult than destroying.
So you will be doing things and somebody
else is destroying because the environment is contaminated.
And, you know, children,
they love seeing different things.
They love having the easy
way to do things. They love freedom
and the other environment which is feeding them
with the non Islamic things
is much easier than what we are doing,
especially in our approach.
Ours is much easier if we do it
correctly but since we are not doing it
correctly, those one are more attractive than us.
They catch our kids more than the way
we are attracting our kids.
So therefore, I have to provide a conducive
environment
for my kids to grow
up. And the first environment and the best
environment is the home.
And against Ustad Sharif
and Ustad,
Sajjad,
both of them fed you with more than
what you need
to make a success concerning this matter. So
I'm not going to tell you who to
take,
but I will just emphasize on what I
believe they said
which is to make sure that the spouse
you're going to be with is an excellent
person who is ready to help you in
your mission in the future in giving the
good terbir to the children.
Trust me, if you get a wife
who is thinking about food and drinks
and none other than resting and having sexual
desire with you,
wallahi, you're gonna cry one day because you're
gonna get tired of this.
She also is going to get tired of
this. But in the future, when you have
kids, nobody is to give therapy out there.
That's why both of you have to look
for somebody
to help incorporate in that regard.
Either the school
or you take them to to the hand
of a maid that you brought to the
house and those maids sometimes they might be
criminals.
They treat and they teach your kids, you
know, different discipline which you never expected.
And since you are not there at home,
they become the parent to the kids
and they are not to be blamed
because somebody's not doing their job. You give
it to somebody.
Trust me, my dear brothers and sisters,
nobody
is there to give terbia on your behalf,
including your parents.
Nobody's there to give terbia on your behalf,
including including
your parent.
So if you take a wife or you
take a husband who is a loser not
thinking about this, you're going to cry in
the future.
Therefore, those two lectures are very important.
A person to focus and to pay attention
and to open his eyes widely to make
sure that you choose
the right person
who is sharing the same concern with you.
That is not about marriage,
you know, you linking to this, person to
this partner. No, it's about the progeny we're
going to be producing because one of the
most important objectives of marriage is preservation of
a medicine.
Preservation of medicine
to keep their terbia intact, to keep the
continuation of human beings also intact.
It's not about the sexual desire and the
food and the joy and the lovely words.
These are all
required also to provide a good life at
home. But when it comes to giving,
it needs other other things which we will
be discussing Insha'Allah
in the near future. So you need to
have a base. You need to prepare a
place.
Get a good partner to stay with you
holding,
cooperating with you to raise,
the children
according to,
the way
the prophet sallallahu alaihi wasallam are working to
do.
So after getting this person,
what should be the main focus in this
house?
The main focus of your selection,
you know, of that partner of yours. What
should be the main focus?
Please do open your ears and listen to
this. I know you know it but I
guess
we need to know it again.
What is the most important thing?
Establishment of the Aqeedah.
That's the most important thing.
Be allah. The most important thing to base
your family on is the aqeedah.
If this is not there,
no advice,
no method can work.
Whoever this person might be, if the Akiva
Akiva is shaky,
nothing can can work.
That's why our predecessors
starting from the prophets of Allah Subhanahu Wa
Ta'ala,
when they establish a home,
they focus more on this.
That's why they had no issue with.
They have no issue with advice.
They have no issue with guiding the kids,
and they don't mind. They can take them
and keep them in a place and leave
the place,
completely detach themselves
from this place completely.
They have no access to the place after
after that anymore. When they want any information,
they have to come to the place.
You remember
Ibrahim Alaihi Salam?
The prophet of Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala? When
he went to Egypt,
he get into that city
and he told his wife, he said, my
dear wife,
listen.
He said, in this place, there is no
Muslim except me and you.
So we have to be very careful.
And subhanallah at that time, they have this
tyrant and a bad ruler
whose attitude and behavior is to look for
any beautiful woman and get her by force.
When Ibrahim came with Sarah, and Sarah is
extremely beautiful.
So the
the guards and the people who are there,
the informants, they went to him, and they
told him that Ibrahim came to this place.
Ibrahim came with a very very beautiful woman
here.
So king the king as usual
sent to Ibrahim,
looking for him, wanted to meet him first.
Ibrahim alaihis salaam came and the king told
him, who is this woman that is with
you? How do you relate
to her? He said, this is my sister.
He was doing tawiyah because your wife is
your sister also in Islam.
You said this is my sister.
So,
the king told him I'm gonna take
her.
Ibrahim had no choice. Yeah. What can he
do? He sent people, they took her.
She went
and she did what you what you know.
She asked Allah's wanted to protect her and
she was protected. At the end of the
day, the king thought she was sheikhan because
he couldn't touch her.
So he sent her back to Ibrahim alaihis
salam and he gave her,
who was the
the the sister Hajar. Alhamdulillah. I'm not alone.
Okay.
So he gave her Hajar as a gift.
So she took Hajar, she went to Ibrahim,
looking at the fact that Ibrahim does not
have children and he loves
children as any like anybody else. So she
told him, take her. Maybe Allah subhanahu wa
ta'ala grant you children from from her side.
And that's what happened. Ibrahim took Hajar and
Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala gave him a child.
What was the name of the child?
Isma'il alaihi sallam.
So and what happened happened between them, about
the jealousy, Ibrahim had to take Hajj,
Hajj away from from Sarah.
Sarah also afterwards, Allah's mother gave her what
she's looking for.
Ibrahim was commanded by Allah. Please follow me,
from this moment.
Ibrahim was commanded by Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala
to take his wife,
Sarah,
and to put her in a place where
there is no life completely.
Did she,
you know, show any objection?
We're not told about this and the way
it happens we believe that she totally submitted
to this decree of Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala.
So they left.
How did she accept?
Very easily
to go to this place. Ibrahim told her,
let's go. She accepted.
Trust me, my dear brothers and sisters, if
not because of the terribia he has been
giving them in that family.
It will be very difficult for her to
tolerate and to accept living in that place
because when they reach Makkah,
Makkah in Makkah at that time, there was
no life.
Nobody is living there. No houses,
no trees, no plantation,
no river, no water, no food, no anything.
Nobody is coming to that place
except,
you know, the place is what there was
a tent, the place where Ibrahim
built the Kaaba. And even Kaaba was was
not there actually
because according to the best opinion of the
scholars, the one who builds the Kaaba was
Ibrahim Alai Salam.
The one who built the Kaaba was Ibrahim
Alaihi Salam. You have several opinions.
Some said Adam. Some said angels. Some said
sheath. Some said this and that. But the
correct opinion with Allahu Alam is that Ibrahim
was the first person to build the car.
Saying of Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala, it
doesn't mean that the foundations were there.
But it means that he was the one
who raised up the foundation from the beginning.
That's why the prophet sallallahu alaihi wa sallam,
when Abu Dharr asked him,
which house
was established
first?
The prophet sallallahu alaihi wa sallam said Kaaba.
And then, he says, and then, which Masjid
which Masjid was the first masjid to be
established? He said,
and then he said, what what what next?
He said, Bayt and Maqdis.
He said, what is it between the 2?
How many years between the 2? He said,
40 years. So if you say Kaaba was
built by the angels or by Adam and
his son, it doesn't work because everyone knows
that between Abraham and Adam, there was
many years actually, around 4000 years or even
more.
And then the prophet said between the Kaaba
and the Beta Muqaddis is only 40 years.
And the one who built the Bayt al
Maqdis was?
Who built Bayt al Maqdis?
Yaqub alayhis salam. That's the correct opinion, Yaqub
alayhis salam. Many of us believe that it
was Suleiman alayhis salam.
But if you say Suleiman, then you need
a lot of explanations because between Suleiman and
Ibrahim alaihis salam is it was about 900
years.
And, Ibrahim and the prophetess,
between Kaaba and Bayt al Maknis is only
40 years.
That's why the only opinion that can stand
is the one that says it was built
by Ya'akov alaihis salaam.
But then it was renovated by Soleiman alaihis
salaam.
Ya'qub built it, and then Suleiman came and
renovated. And between Ya'qub and Ibrahim is about
40 years,
because Ya'qub is the grandson of
Ibrahim Alai Salam. Right? So 40 years is
enough to have a grand
a grandchild.
You get it? So anyway, back to the
to the to the story. So Makkadah was
nobody in that place. Nobody was living in
that
place. Ibrahim took Hajar
and he put her in that place,
and then he left them with a little
amount of water
and little amount of food.
And then he he turned his back going
back.
Hajar asked him. She said,
my dear husband, where are you going?
Are you going to leave us in this
place?
You're going to leave us in this place?
Ibrahim kept quiet
because don't forget,
this is
one of the best part of his family.
He has the first child. He was so
happy
after spending, you know, many years.
Some scholars said more than 80 years, around
80 years without having a child and now
he has a child. Miraculously, Allah Subhanahu Wa
Ta'ala gave him a child.
And then now, Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala is
asking him to go and put the child
in a place which is
empty from any life.
So Ibrahim,
at that moment, was very sensitive.
He doesn't want to say anything also that
will cause him any trouble with Allah Subhanahu
Wa Ta'ala. So Hajar when she asked him,
where are you going? Ibrahim kept quiet.
She kept on asking him, do you live
in us in this place? He kept quiet.
He said,
she said, I'm sorry?
Is Allah the one who asked you to
do that?
Now she asked a question that he can
answer. Itoher,
yes.
And SubhanAllah,
she said Eden,
lend you by yana. SubhanAllah.
This is what I'm looking for.
Imagine this place, you know, there is no
light. It's just a typical desert.
But then when he left her in that
place with her son, you know, newly born
baby,
with nothing except this little amount of water,
little amount of food, and there is there
are no neighbors, there is nobody to to
seek their support from.
But then when she asked Ibrahim, where are
you going?
Is Allah the one who asked you to
do that? He said, yes.
She said, I believe Allah will never neglect
us. That's what I'm looking for my dear
brothers and sisters.
Imagine this is the mother of your child.
Why would you worry about the aqid of
your kids?
That's how much she has trust in Allah.
She says, definitely,
Allah will never neglect us. And she went
back.
She wasn't joking, joking, you know, or making
mockery on Ibrahim or being sarcastic. No. She
meant it when she said, Allah will never
neglect us.
So she went back to the place and
sat down in that place, keep on feeding
herself with that water and the food until
it finishes
And bread I mean, feeding the the boy
with the milk
she has from the food she's eating. Until
it finished, then she doesn't have anything.
Subhanallah, till the time she get exhausted and
the child also get exhausted, she was afraid
of him dying. So she kept on looking
here and there to see whether she can
find somebody to support her.
There was no support at that place.
Then she heard somebody speaking from behind.
She tried to to, she was talking to
herself, keep quiet. She was telling
herself, keep quiet, keep quiet, there is somebody
talking there.
So she kept quiet
to to try to trace where is the
sound coming.
So she said, please help us. You let
us hear your voice. Please help us if
you have any support and help.
And then she saw the angel, Jibil Alaihi
Salam, next to her child.
SubhanAllah.
Another event that we have to take note
on which
makes it very important for you to establish
a good house upon the Akida.
Jibril asked her, who are you?
She said, I am the mother of the
son of Ibrahim Alaihi Salam.
She did not see Hajar.
Scholar said she's using the name of Ibrahim,
you know.
She knows that, this could could be somebody
from from the heavens.
So she uses Ibrahim
because he is more recognized than her. She
said, I am the son of, the I'm
the mother of the son of Ibrahim.
So Jibril said, but where is your husband?
She said, he left.
He left? She said, yes.
But he leave you he left you under
the custody of who?
She said Allah
he says
definitely
Ibrahim alaihis salam left you under the custody
of somebody who is more than enough for
you.
He said, Latasha
obeah.
He said, don't you ever worry about you
being neglected in this place.
And by the way, there is a house
in this place. This boy is going to
build this house here and his father.
Giving her good news.
That's the nature of the house of Ibrahim
alaihis salaam.
And there's a very long story.
Trust me very interesting and enjoyable story narrated
by Muhammadu Buhari
around several pages to establish this fact that
every Muslim needed today to have a house
like this.
And that's the reason why the mother did
an excellent job. Ibrahim was not around in
Makkah.
Allah gave them everything they need.
To heed was the one that brought them
to this position, wallah.
That area that you see nowadays, one of
the richest area on Earth, Tawhid was the
one that brought them to that nature.
When Ibrahim left, she did an excellent job.
She gave him
a that Ibrahim was looking for.
That's why when Allah commanded him to come
all the way to get the child and
tell the son Allah is commanding me to
slaughter you.
What did the sons
say to Ibrahim?
You should think properly.
Why can how can you think about this?
And you are telling me this is a
dream. And you know this is a dream,
Ibrahim Sou'aalaihi Salam.
And he told the son, and the son
submitted completely.
They told me of who?
A woman at home
that shows the importance of having a good
partner, good base,
where you can take a back seat and
sleep and don't worry about anything.
We have so many scholars in this in
this of ours
that are the product of none other than
the sisters
when the sisters are doing the job Allah
Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala put on their shoulder.
Please listen to this, correctly.
Many sisters in the past, they did an
excellent job,
which
is based on producing
card leaders that led the ummah of Muhammad
to success,
but that was when people are doing their
job correctly. So the first thing you need,
you need, my dear brothers and sisters, is
to provide
a good and conducive
environment
that is going to be led by you
and the excellent partner of yours, the mother
of your children that you established your relationship
with her upon the Akida,
believing in the last
because this is supposed to be your base
and the protection of whatever you're gonna put
in that
house later
on. The next
is to have the sense of responsibility and
of an understanding that children are none other
than Amana on your shoulder.
The prophet sallallahu alaihi wasallam
says, or before this hadith of the Prophet
sallallahu alaihi wasallam,
there is a,
an Ayah in the Quran, where Allah subhanahu
wa ta'ala says,
Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala says to the believers
protect yourself
and protect your family from *.
SubhanAllah. Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala says protect yourself
and protect your family from from *.
So it's a great responsibility
on the day of judgment. That's why our
scholars said, don't be surprised
that the cause of your delay
in going to Jannah is your child.
You see now they smile, they're happy with
the freedom you're giving them, with the method
you are taking which is none other than
corrupting their future. They're happy with this
But trust me, my dear brothers and sisters,
tomorrow,
they are going to be your kusama.
Those who will fight you in in front
of Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala on the day
of
judgement. So this is a manah
and a manah is one of the greatest
responsibility on your shoulder
and on the day of judgment you have
to pay the price. You have to tell
Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala whether you do it
correctly
or you did not manage to do it
in the way it should be done.
That's
prophetess
in his wisdom,
he advised us in this hadith
which is very beautiful. He says
I believe everyone of us remember this hadith.
But when it comes to application of the
hadith,
probably only a few of us are understanding
what this hadith is is talking about.
Yeah. We just interpret the hadith that prophet
said, we are a shepherd, we are a
shepherd, we are a shepherd. Did you ever
have a time to study, you know, the
connection and the link between you and the
shepherd as a father, as a mother?
Rasool
Sallallahu
alaihi
wa
sallam
said,
Every one of you is a shepherd.
And the first one he started with
was who? The imam, the leader, people in
the authority.
They are like Ruwaat.
They are supposed to deal with people with
leniency
and guide them to the right way and
bring none other than good to the community.
That's why the prophet sallallahu alaihi wasallam has
said,
What is a hootama?
Hootama is an impatient
shepherd.
Somebody who is not patient.
This is the message I want you to
extract from this hadith. The
prophet
said, you are a shepherd.
You know a sheep
is one of the weakest animal that you
can see. It is defenseless
because the defense of this animal,
you know, we have sheep. We know how
they live. The defense of this animal
mostly is external.
They have a shepherd always with the stick
to protect them.
You get it? And this shepherd has to
be vigilant and awake all the time.
I was doing research on this topic.
I found that in Turkey,
there was a time when a shepherd slept
and it was negligent for a few minutes
or few seconds.
They lost around 400 sheep if I'm not
mistaken,
which means taking care of a sheep, you
have to be vigilant all the time.
Can you understand why the prophet sallallahu alaihi
wasallam said you are like a shepherd.
To who?
To the family at home. Because he says,
imam
and he says,
and all of those who are mentioned by
the prophet sallallahu alaihi wasallam.
They are supposed to be acting like the
shepherd who is not sleeping
to make sure that people under his custody
are doing the right thing.
The prophet said,
You need this attitude in the behavior of
the shep shepherd
to be able to succeed.
Rasool Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam said,
if you want to see arrogance and,
you want to see pride
showing
off, look at those people who are the
horse riders.
In the past, they don't have Ferrari,
Rolls Royce, and all of these fancy
new newly invented cars, but they have horses,
they have mules.
So when you want to show up and
you want to show people that you are
somebody, you come using these things.
The prophet
said, exists in these type of people.
Is talking about hardship,
lack of forgiveness,
intolerance.
He said, look at those people who are
taking care of camels,
because camel by nature doesn't forgive.
And the prophet
said, if you want to see patience
and countenance,
go and see those people who are the
shepherd taking care of the sheep because being
with the sheep need a lot of patience.
That's why Rasool Allah Sallallahu alaihi wa sama
said in that hadith
because it's not easy to control a sheep.
This one wants to go here. You bring
it back. The other one wants to go
there. You bring it back. So if you're
not patient, you're gonna smack this one and
smack that one before you reach home. You'll
find nothing left. You kill them all.
The prophet, the last of all, described a
leader. The leader, he says, the best
leader is the, the just and the kind
ones.
And the worst type of leaders are the,
the impatient people.
So I'd hope also you need to act
like this as a shepherd.
They told the prophet sallallahu alaihi wasallam
when they were with him in one of
the for,
forest,
they said they said to the prophet
when they were trying to get some fruit,
the prophet
said,
he
said
get
the black one because it is the best.
They said,
I mean,
most likely this is the reason why Allah
make
all the prophets of Allah
shepherds before they handle the responsibility of others.
Because if you can take care of a
sheep,
you should be you should be able to
take care of human beings.
So they told him, you Rasool Allah
because they see the way the prophet is
talking to them. Take this one. It's the
best one.
They thought he's just living in Makkah, doesn't
know what is there in the forest. The
prophet
when when he saw them picking up the
wrong one, he said, no, take this one
because it's the best. They said,
were you a shepherd before? He said,
Was there any prophet of Allah subhanahu wa
ta'ala who wasn't a shepherd shepherd before?
All of them have been through this, system
before they handle the affairs of the Muslim.
So the prophet said,
sense of responsibility. Without having this sense of
responsibility,
you will never succeed in your terbia.
And the
prophet said,
There will be nobody
that Allah will
assign a responsibility
to him on his shoulder.
And he let
himself live in this life as a cheetah
in that responsibility,
except that Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala is going
to make jannah haram upon him.
Allah, parent, we need to wake up.
Rasoulas, sallallahu alaihi wa sallam said, if you
don't give the terbiyah correctly, you cheat in
the responsibility that Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala put
on your shoulder,
Jannah is going to be prohibited upon you.
This is more than enough for you to
change the way you see these things.
Freedom,
which is not restricted,
doesn't have a place in our religion.
Yeah, there is no absolute freedom in Islam.
You get it? That's why the prophet
said at Dunia,
Sijinal,
Al Mumin, Wajanato,
Al Kafir.
Dunia is like a prison for the believer
and also it's like for
the Kafir.
Why prison?
Because we don't have an absolute freedom. You're
restricted to doing that which Allah subhanahu wa
ta'ala
wants.
So these are the principle that I decided
to begin
my lecture
with it and I believe
with the creation of a good base
and also sense of responsibility
and the on your
shoulder. You'll be able to to do the
right the right thing.
So I'll be talking inshallah in the following
about the sifaat of al Murabbi?
We talk about terbia. Right? There must be
a Murabbi, somebody who's given that terbia.
Are there any isifat, you know, that this
person is supposed to adorn himself
for him to succeed in this terbir that
he's given to the family under his custody?
Yes.
The first sifa is knowledge.
The first sifa is.
I have list of them, Insha'Allah. I will
try to go,
through each and every one of them before
the end of my time, even like that.
So the first one is knowledge
Because knowledge is the key to,
the success in doing everything.
Knowledge is very important as you know, that
Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala place it even before
the tawheed in Surat Muhammad when he says
Without knowledge, you will not be able to
do the correct thing in the way Allah
wants them to be done. And how is
expected to guide your family
to doing
what Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala wants if you
don't have the knowledge of that thing,
and how is supposed to value that which
they are learning and to support the teachers
who are educating your kids if you don't
have the knowledge of that thing.
So knowledge is essential and there's a message
also to whoever is looking for a marriage,
focus on that person who has at least
the basic.
The basic in terms of the Islamic and
the Sharia knowledge.
Don't go with an ignorant.
You will love. This is my personal advice
to all of you when you want to
marry, do not accept somebody who is a
typical ignorant in the sharia of Allah Subhanahu
Wa Ta'ala.
At least he at least he has a
basic.
The basic in in the sharia. And we're
not talking about him being a mufti of
a country or very strong student of knowledge.
No. The basics
are more than enough. Whatever is upon
him and his family and whatever he need
to handle the responsibility Allah put on him
on his shoulder in giving talbiyah to the
kids, he's aware of that.
That knowledge is is necessary.
Otherwise, you will not succeed in having the
support in in your family.
Number 2, al Amanah.
Somebody to be amin, a trustworthy,
Trustworthy. Nowadays,
when,
subhanAllah, divorce happens, the husband will not be
happy with the kids to be with the
wife. And the wife also, in many instances,
she's not happy with the kids to be
with, with them, with the husband.
Which means there is khalil
in the choice they have made at the
first place.
Because an idle
selection of a spouse is the one that
if in case by the of Allah Subhanahu
Wa Ta'ala you happen to be separated,
you don't worry
about the religion,
education, and the well-being of your child just
because he's with that person, that partner of
yours, that you are now separated from them.
If the answer is not like this, then
your selection was wrong.
Your selection was wrong. You need to do
a lot in terms of establishing a home
which is based on that which we had
mentioned earlier. So a manor is
one of the most important qualities of a
monarchy
that succeed in his in his term.
Number 2,
I'll,
Alcoa,
ability to deliver.
Alkawah,
ability to deliver.
You need somebody who is Alkawih.
You see the wife, I'm sorry, the daughter
of that righteous, person
in, Madia when Musa visited them,
When she told her father about Musa, alaihis
salaam, she said,
She said, that
I believe it is better for us to
hire this man to help us in taking
care of our sheep.
Because the best person you hire is Alkawi
Elani.
Somebody who has a manner,
and he has skills,
and power, and ability to deliver the job.
So you need a spouse
that is strong enough
to deliver, to execute whatever you believe to
be correct.
A weak
person, especially if the weakness is from the
from the father. Because the qawama in the
family comes from
Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala to whom?
To the husband or the wife?
Who is having the qawama?
It's for the husband.
But subhanAllah, nowadays in many places, who is
taking that responsibility at home?
The wife.
You know. This is wrong because we are
I'm not saying the sisters are very weak.
They can't do anything. No. I have already
mentioned what I meant earlier.
That we do have a lot of sisters
in the past
who did the job in the very excellent
way. And by the way,
whether we like it or we don't like
it, taking care of a child,
nobody can do it except a sister
with the cooperation of the husband.
Trust me, a husband cannot do it alone.
Father cannot do it alone.
That's why Kawda,
when she went to the prophet sallallahu alaihi
wa sallam,
after her husband uttered the vihar on her,
You know,
is husband saying to his wife,
you are just like my my mother. In
the way I cannot approach my mother,
You also I cannot approach you in that
way. This is what it means.
So when this husband told her, the husband
of this,
companion,
He did he told her, auntie alayhi kabari
ummi. You're just your back is just just
like the back of my mother.
Subhanallah.
She
was really traumatized by this.
So she went to the prophet and complained,
and this is the reason why Surat Al
Mujadilah was revealed to the prophet
One of the things she told the prophet,
sallallahu alaihi wasallam, she said, You Rasulullah, this
person took all of my strength.
I used to be pretty. I used to
be beautiful. He He destroyed all of this
because of the life we we had together.
And now you Rasool Allah, he uttered this
statement and he's going to neglect me with
those younger kids.
She said, You Rasool Allah, if I leave
this kid to him, she said, Indamam to
whom ilayhi jahu.
If I'm to leave them with him,
they will die out of hunger.
And if I leave them to myself,
they will not get the proper because
I need somebody to help me and monitor
what the kids are doing, especially when they
go out of the house.
SubhanAllah. Look at this smartness.
When he tell When she tells us
the way things should work in our community,
that we have a job that is very
conducive for the brothers, and we have another
job that is conducive for the sis sisters.
You will know that job, nobody can do
it properly more than the woman.
I had a son that had passed away,
I lost my heart and I show mercy
upon him. There was a time he came
back and I found him a very critical
moment.
So we I took him to the hospital.
The moment I go to the hospital, the
hospital told us he has to stay here.
His condition is very bad.
I said, k. No problem. We have no
choice.
You know, we left him and who is
supposed to be in the hospital with him?
The mother or the father.
He's a very young young boy, you know,
I I think he was around 2 months
for that time.
Yeah. Who's going to be with him? The
mother. The father is useless to to this
baby.
Anyway, so I left them there.
Now for the first time, I'm coming back
home to act
as who?
The father and the mother at the same
time.
Well, I do understand this statement of this
woman after that so much.
In
in Madina, sometimes we stay without eating until
night, and then when we come to Malaysia
also, we develop this concept,
me and one of my closest friend.
We eat very late.
And I'm not saying do this, don't listen
to this part of my life,
but this is what we do. But now
I forgot
that I have other people in the house.
I'm not living alone.
Trust me. The first day when I wake
up, I found the house in Messi.
I was asking myself,
how is this woman managing this house properly?
I don't know where to begin. Which one
should I start with?
I went there. I have a younger daughter
and then she messed up herself. I have
to change the nappies. I didn't even know
how to do it. 1 of them was
laughing to me or laughing at me. Telling
me, Abi, you don't know how to do
it. It was it is not like this.
It is not like that.
SubhanAllah, they they took the first meal
after one of them told me, dad, why
can't you do like our mother?
I said, what was she doing? They said,
just give us some potatoes, some egg,
and that was after Asaf. That was the
first time they eat.
I remember what this woman was saying.
She said, you Rasoolah, if I am to
leave my kids
to the custody of my husband, he is
the one who will be taking care of
of them. They will get lost
because he will have no he will be
having no time for them.
That's the reason why this call has said
this job to give terbia to a child,
you know, to the to the to the
level where he can lead the nation to
success, only a woman can do that. I
appreciate a statement that I kept on sharing
with many of us where I heard one
of this mofa, Kireen, saying that if you
want to destroy a civilization,
you don't need to come with weapons and
fight a civilization.
You don't need to do that. It says,
what do you need to do? I found
it very interesting.
It said, just try to convince the community
to have no respect to the scholars,
to have no respect to the knowledge,
and to convince the woman in that community,
you know, that being a housewife
is an is an,
I mean, a humiliation.
Disrespect.
Convince the sisters that staying at home, taking
care of the children is a do is
a form of disrespect.
He said if you succeed in that, you
don't need to do anything else. Just leave
that society. It will fall. And you
can understand also
why shaitan,
when he asked his workers You know, every
day the Prophet said, shaitan will bring his
throne and put it on the sea and
then send his evil workers to go to
everywhere and destroy people. You know, In the
evening, they will come back to him and
he will ask them about what happened.
And the prophet said they will come back
to him mentioning big sins that they get
people involved in and sheitan will tell them,
no, this is not that big.
They will change
until the time
one of them will come to him and
say to him, I tried my best in
one of the homes and I did not
leave the house until the time I see
the husband uttering divorce against his wife, then
I left.
And guess what happened after that? Then, Shaikhan
will tell him, aunt, aunt, you're the best
one.
But divorce in Islam,
is it halal?
Salam. Is it halal? Yes. Yes. It's halal
to divorce, you know. It should have
reason. If a person is smart and okay,
you should have reason for the divorce but
it's halal generally to divorce.
But why is sheikh'an is happy with this
so much? Much happier with killing somebody.
Which one is worse?
Of course, the first one. But why Shaikh
An is happy with this so much?
Some of us callers said, because if you
have a woman leaving the house because of
the divorce,
then the first person to be affected by
this is the child
because he will be he will be having
no proper term They are being given to
him by one of them. Because that cooperation
between the father and the mother is needed.
But now it is only one given the
And if she or he is not able
to give the proper terbia, this boy is
going to be corrupt,
and he will be engaged
in corrupting the community by doing all types
of
deviation and sins.
Those one who are doing only zina, only
riba, but this one will come and become
a pumbula for the community.
That's why Sheban is looking for this type
of people.
And that's the reason why you can understand
why is is very evil.
Apart from the sin that Allah,
you know, put in in the commission of
zina, why is it is very evil? Because
it leads to corrupting the community.
Because if you have children who are coming
out of wedlock, what will happen?
They will have nobody who is claiming them.
No father. Islamically, they cannot be attributed to
those
fathers of theirs.
They have to be attributed to the mother
and even the attachment between him and the
mother also is going to be not like
the attachment between
a legal and legitimate child and his mother.
And in the way this sense of deficiency
will be there, especially when the child knows
that he came out of out of wedlock.
What is he going to be doing in
the community?
Engaging in corruption and corrupting the community and
everyone is going to, pay the pay the
price. May Allah
grant us a good. So my dear brothers
and sisters, you need a very strong
spouse.
A very strong spouse.
The wife has to be strong and the
husband has to be strong. We're not looking
for strength in terms of physical ability to
wrestle somebody down. No. You might be as
skinny as you, you can.
But it's okay. The heart should be very,
very strong. She said,
minister,
And I mean, she's talking about the skills
here and the strength, the physical, you know,
ability and power also that is requirement.
The next is Aladdin
justice
because if the spouse is not just,
he will be the reason why the family
will be
gone, especially when it comes to the ties
of the family if he has more than
one child.
You get it? Especially when he has more
than one child, if the father and the
mother are not just so that they are
not going to be fair whenever they deal
with with the children.
In their love
and their gifts also.
And these are very dangerous for a child
to sense that you are favoring
somebody, you know, among his siblings over over
him.
Yusuf alaihis salam
almost lost his life because of
because of this.
That's why as a father,
as a mother, we really need to be
very careful.
You see, you have 7 children, 5 children,
you know, you have all of them. You
love one of them and you do not
manage to conceal that. You let the rest
know about this love. Trust me, my dear
brothers and sisters, you are putting this person
that you love into into trouble.
Exactly what what happened to Yusuf alaihi salaam
might happen to to your child.
You might not see it
because they will be afraid of showing him
any negative feeling towards him because of your
existence.
By the time you die,
this is when the true image of these
siblings that you left for this child that
you love the most will be revealed.
So let's be very careful and do the
right thing. The man bin Rashid said his
father
once gave him a gift
and there's a piece of land he wanted
to give
you. But, subhanallah,
he's married to
a very smart spouse, the mother of al
Bashir.
So So he said to her, I'm planning
to give this land to my my son,
al Bashir. She said, it is better for
you to go to rasulullah salallahu alayhi salallahu
alayhi salallahu alayhi salallahu alayhi salallahu alayhi salallahu
alayhi salallahu alayhi salallahu alayhi salallahu alayhi salallahu
alayhi salallahu alayhi salallahu alayhi sal
advice concerning this matter.
So he went to the prophet Sallallahu alaihi
wasallam and he told him, you Rasulullah, this
is my intention to give this piece of
land to my
my son al Bashir, I'm sorry, al Noma.
The prophet
said,
do you have
children other than him? He said, yes, he
has a son. He He said, oh,
did you give each and every one of
them the same thing? He said, no You
Rasool Allah. And then the prophet said,
go and look for somebody to witness this,
transaction
or transfer of ownership,
Not me. Because
I don't witness injustice.
SubhanAllah. He told him go and look for
somebody but not me because I don't witness
injustice.
And he said fear Allah
in dealing with your children
and be just when you're dealing with your
children. And he said the same way you
want all of your children to be respecting
you,
you should also equate them when you are
making a gift.
That's why one of the things we do,
which is wrong approach we are doing in
Terpia
in motivating our kids, it's good for you
to have some incentive. You provide for somebody
who did well in his education. But the
way we are doing it, trust trust me,
my dear brothers and sisters,
is wrong.
I have, let's say, 3 children.
You know, one of them got, you know,
after the exams, one of them got got
all a's, masha'Allah.
And the other one got
Baine Baine.
Some A's, some something.
And the other one got a lot of
F.
He came back home.
Who is the one that is in trouble?
Yeah. In the past, whenever we got low
marks, we know that that day we're gonna
be beaten at home.
You are allowed. You're gonna be beaten at
home. So that was really wrong. So nowadays,
we modernize it a bit. So we give
gifts to the one who exhale
and we neglect the rest.
And we think this is justifiable.
This is wrong. This is not one of
the justification and the reason why you can
make difference between your children in terms of
gift.
And you are not helping
those people who fail in the exams
because if that is the accent of their
ability,
the next time also they're gonna get the
same thing.
And when they get the same thing, you're
gonna favor this one and suhawaqa, he's gonna
share with them, you know.
They might be pushing him, telling him too
well, inshallah, so that dad will get us
this and that and they will come and
share.
They will remain like this.
And the best approach, as scholars mentioned,
rather than
you favoring one of them in in gifts
just because he got good
result
is to show concern to this person that
fails.
Because he'll he'll be coming back nervous.
Focus on him. Tell him why you're nervous.
This is Qadr of Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala
and we accept it and insha Allah.
We're going to cooperate with you in the
next time, be it enlight to Allah, to
make sure that you succeed.
And you guys have completed your examination.
We're gonna celebrate this completion. You know, even
if you have in your mind that you're
celebrating this this one, but you don't inform
any one of them. SubhanAllah, they will feel
honored.
And next time, most likely, they will be
doing their best to make sure that they
don't disappoint you because of that previous treatment
you did.
Now when you favor one of them, they
will never see that, you know, excellent, you
know, score that he had. They would just
see father favoring one of us and neglecting
us. They don't care about what he did
but they just see the connection between you
and them.
And there's a problem.
That's a problem. That's why I try your
best.
Do not give a gift to any of
your child if you're not going to make
an eco gift to the other one,
except if you are making it to the
very young child.
I say very young, very young.
Because sometimes the kids, they are not mature
enough. Trust me. The one that is younger
than them, 8 years young younger than them,
but he's still at the age of, let's
say, 8 years, 7 years, they see him
as a big person. When you make a
gift for him, to them, you are favoring
him over over
them.
So the best is not to do. When
you buy for 1, buy for the others.
When you are going to somewhere, also take
all of them. If that is possible, or
leave all of them. This is better. Otherwise,
you are creating this kind of enmity and
hatred in the heart of your kids which
might not be revealed now.
They will see it and the family will
see it after you live this life.
Allah, I know
a family that after the death of the
father, subhanallah,
they were having battles among them as if
they were not family. As if they are
not from the same from the same father.
So in most instances, we are the one
who put them into this, trouble before we
left the junior.
One of these qualities so, how many qualities
I give now?
4. 4. For I thought I'm alone, alhamdulillah,
then I have the energy to continue.
Okay.
The next one is al heads.
Having strong
interest
in doing the right right thing, the courage
in doing the right right thing,
which should be based on a dua
always making dua for them. Somebody who believes
that there is always a hope
in his children doing the right thing.
SubhanAllah, that's why as a real and a
good father,
you are supposed to make dua against your
child.
Please
listen to this carefully.
Don't you ever open your mouth
and make dua against your child.
No matter how much corrupt
and bad is this child.
Because one of these adiliyah that Allah
quickly accept is the dua of the father.
As a father,
as a mother,
nothing should come out of your mouth about
your children except good
and hope and being optimistic.
And asking Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala to guide
them.
You know this woman?
She's an old woman.
She came to her son, Jurej. He's in
Bani Israel.
And she went to his, Masjid in the
forest.
This person is very righteous,
and he even
So
she went to
the child in the forest, Juraj. He have
his masjid because he doesn't want to mix
with people.
This is the that Allah
talks about.
So she call him. He's very old woman
and Jurej was praying. When he heard her
voice, she said You Allah. I'm sorry. He
said You Allah, this is my mother and
this is my prayer. So he doesn't know
what to do. At the end of the
day he favored his prayer.
That was his mistake.
He favored his prayer because that was, that
was a sunnah prayer. The scholar said if
you engage in a sunnah, a prayer,
if a parent called you, you cut it
off and go on listen to their advice.
If you're praying the Wajid prayer, your parent
call you, then you continue because this is
what Allah asked you to do. It's right
of Allah, it's always coming first before each
your your parent. Unless if they are in
a state of necessity, then you cut off
the prey and go on and eat them.
So he doesn't listen to her. So, how
loud, three times she has been doing this.
Whenever she comes, she couldn't have access to
him and she need him. That's why she's
coming to the forest looking for him.
She said, Jurej,
I'm your mother, and I came to you
3 times. I called you. You did not
respond to my call.
She said,
you will not die
until Allah's mother embarrassed you in the presence
of the mumisat,
the bad and the prostitute sisters.
Is that a good dua?
No, it's not.
And a mother shouldn't make this dua for
her child. The one that she spent a
lot, she put her life at risk
to make sure that he succeed. And now,
you are making this evil against him.
So,
the Jew, as usual,
they don't like good, and they don't like
to have somebody who is even among them
good.
They started plotting. And guess, who did they
assign to go and destroy Jurej?
The daughter of the king in that community.
That's why Musa, alaihis salam,
said to Allah,
when Allah destroyed the Jew, those 70 people
who went with him, he said,
Musa called them
so that you will understand what is going
on nowadays, you know. You're dealing with Safi.
You can imagine everything.
So
they tried to plot against him because they
don't want what he's doing.
How come he's the only righteous person among
us? How come? How come? How come? So
they send this woman, this prostitute sister, to
go and deceive him. She went to him.
She called him.
Duray doesn't want to listen because even his
mother was neglected.
So he doesn't listen to her. What did
she do? She looked around the place, she
found a shepherd, a person who used to
go and take care of his sheep and
come back and rest next to the place
of.
She went, she submitted herself to him, and
the guy committed with her. She became pregnant
and she was patient until the time she
got a child and then she went to
the city with the child.
People ask her, where did you get this
one? She said, from Juraish. I said, Juraish?
We never know Juraish to be married. She
said, yeah. This is Juraish's child.
SubhanAllah.
They went. This is what they're waiting for.
They went to Juraish. They call him. Juraish
doesn't want to listen.
They broke his masjid.
They destroyed the masjid. He fell down. They
kept on beating him. They're waiting. They're beating.
So Jurej asked them, what did I do?
They pointed at the boy. They said, this
boy, why do you get it?
Subhanallah, he look around him, he sees none
other than those prostitute sisters exactly like the
way the mother asked
for. He got that one. So he knows
what happened. And, subhanallah, he said the good
people, subhanallah,
and,
righteous people, you know, they know how to
get,
you know, the solution to the predicament.
Yunus alaihi sallam, when he fell into the
the the the stomach of the whale, did
he lose hope?
You know, in that place, honestly speaking, let's
be realistic, what else, what kind of hope
do you have?
But imagine imagine
not losing hope. Even in that place, he
did not lose hope in Allah
He says
That was the only statement he mentioned.
And what happened? Allah commanded
the whale to go and vomit
Yuls alaihis salam, and Allah swore to give
him what he wants, you know, to to
survive, to to regain back his health. And
Allah sent
him back to 100,000
or even more than that, subhanallah, success after
success when a person goes back to Allah
Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala. So this person, Julej, he
remembered that
the only way out from his predicament is
to go
back to Rubb ul Havelin.
And what did he choose to approach Allah?
Salaam, he prayed. 2 rakat.
I hope you're understanding a lot of things
here also because we also face a lot
of things in our life. Right?
These are solutions given to us by Allah
subhanahu wa ta'ala, but unfortunately,
the level of our trust in the religion
is very low. That's why we don't see
what they see. Trust me, my dear brother
and sister, the system is always functioning and
active and intact
and valid and it will never fade
until the time you meet Allah Subhanahu Wa
Ta'ala. You follow the same system, you're going
to get the same,
result
as long as you're doing it correctly with
no modification.
Don't get busy and listen to somebody who's
telling you have to modify it. No. Allah
does not want this modification.
We want Islam nowadays according to the way
we want it. No, Allah doesn't want this.
Islam is very simple. That's why we find
it difficult and we are suffering nowadays from
those people who are not doing the right
thing because we let everything to be to
be open.
Open for discussion. You don't discuss what Allah's
wanted already already finalized.
You didn't do that. Allah wants you to
just take it and use it in the
way the predecessors
took it and use it. They succeeded.
If we do the same thing, we will
succeed.
Subhanallah, this man realized that he has nobody
except Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala.
What did he do? He went back to
Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala and pray
and ask Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala to protect
him.
And subhanAllah,
after this prayer, he came back to them.
He told them, where's the baby?
They gave him the baby. He hit the
stomach of the baby. He said, boy, who
is your father?
You Allah. Yaqeen Yaqeen.
What makes him think that the baby will
talk? This is the baby that was newly
born. He asked him, who is your father?
And the baby not just talked, he pointed
at the shepherd because he was there.
He said,
and he pointed at him.
And then people
are like, Masha Allah. Wow. And they came
to him and they hung him, you know.
They kept on telling him, you are, wadi
of Allah. We're going to rebuild your your
your your masjid,
you know, in gold. We'll make it in
gold. He said no.
Just take it back to
the place where it was.
I needed this story just to tell you
as a father, as a mother,
you shouldn't make dua against your child. Always
your dua should be, yeah, Allah. Guide them.
No matter how much bad they are,
should make dua against them because your dua
is going to be heard most likely. And
if this dua is heard,
you're going to put your children into trouble.
I saw a person who is living with
us up to date, if I'm not mistaken,
he's still alive.
He was
almost completely paralyzed. I'm pretty sure some of
you, saw him. In the early days of
his when he was talking about his life,
he said, this is the dua of his
father. The father made dua against him. He
said, if you're lying against me because the
father asked him, did you pray? He said,
yes. I told the father, yes, I did
and I did not do. So the father
said, if you are lying to me, may
Allah break your neck.
And he said, when I went out with
my friends to get into a swimming pool,
he get deeply down there and his head
hits the floor.
That was the cause of his sickness for
ages up to date. If the last water
did not give him the shifa shifa.
Can't move his body except his eyes and
his mouth and talk and that's it.
That's how it is. So as a
father, you don't have time for this. Your
responsibility
says you have to be optimistic all the
time and have big hope in taking care
of of your child. And also, Al Mutaba.
Al Mutaba is quite interesting because you have
to be following up your kids.
And this one, you shouldn't exaggerate in monitoring
your your children.
I have children
and they have phones.
What do I do to make sure they
are doing the right thing?
I check their phones. I I do all
of these things
and I try to ask them about who
they,
mingle, mixed with, you know, all the time.
I put them into trouble, you know, in
the way whenever they meet me, they they
already know that I'm going to open for
them a new file.
Who do you mean to them? What did
you do? Where did you go? This person,
what did he tell you? And all of
these things.
No.
You have to be very careful. If your
child sends this barrier between you and him
that whenever he meets you, you're gonna give
him a long and see,
trust me, they are going to start having
distance between you and them. That's why many
of the parent complain
that our kids
don't want to sit with us.
Why your child doesn't want to sit with
you?
Why?
Because you are always blaming
and you always don't see him as somebody
who has the ability and the capacity to
take initiative.
But with care. That's why one of,
these, things that I have which time will
not permit. I have a long list. Unfortunately,
time will not, permit
me to share with you all of these
valuable things that I have picked up from
all our scholars.
And so one of these
qualities of rugby
is
a. Please, do understand this correctly. It's very
important in.
A tagafil means
you overlook.
How many crimes and mistakes your kids are
making on the daily basis at home?
But the the problem is all most of
the people in front of me, they are
not married, so if I ask them, they
don't know anything about that.
And couple of people that I see who
are married, they are too far, so I
cannot cooperate with them.
Please, next time, change this.
You see a boy, a boy in the
house.
You see this one?
The younger boy will come.
His mentality will tell him, what happens
if I if I throw it away?
What hap what happens if I push it?
Just like that. I know it. First, I'm
just talking about them. It tells you of
a child, know. You'll be something will be
telling him what will happen. What will happen?
And then he will throw it away.
And this is a glass.
It will be it will be broken.
As a father, what are we going to
do? Your mother, you already know. By then,
maybe 10,000 of shoes went to him.
But as the father, he knows that definitely
today he is he is doomed.
But trust me, this is wrong. This is
against the manhatu of Rasool Allah sallam.
You might find it strange
but it's not.
The best approach in this regard, if you
can just overlook, if it is something harmful,
just tell him don't approach that approach. Wait,
wait, wait. We We will do the job.
He will be nervous telling him, no no
no no. Just get me things to to
pick it up. Help him and support him
and make some jokes with him and tell
him, but you do understand that this is
wrong. Right? He said yes, it's wrong. Please
don't do it again. Trust me. Most likely,
it will never happen in the house
because if you're going to be harsh,
trust me, sometimes
they just do it to provoke you because
they are
familiar with what you are you're going to
say. They just they enjoy the way you
you talk and the way you shout, especially
with the sisters at home.
Alastair Gul Malik said,
he said, the prophet sallallahu alaihi wasallam
never told me why did you do this
and why didn't you do that?
What kind of talbiya is this? He said,
I've never did something in the presence of
Rasool alaihi sallamahu which I got blamed. Why
did you do this? Why didn't you do
that?
And if the sisters at home blamed me
for doing something
wrong, the prophet sallallahu alaihi wa sallam will
tell them, why the blame?
SubhanAllah
whatever Allah wants to decreed is what happened
already happened so now let's cooperate with Him
and fix it
Save your words. Those words have value. The
more you talk, the less value your words
are going to have in in the house.
That's why the gospel is really necessary.
The kids, you overlook the vast majority of
their mistakes so that when the big mistake
comes, when you talk about it, everyone will
sense
that, yes,
this shouldn't happen in this house.
But if you are very sensitive person, intolerant,
your children have no place in your life.
You don't sit with them. You don't play
with them. Rasulullah sallallahu alaihi wasallam play with
with his children,
grandchildren, you know. Rasulullah sallallahu alaihi wasallam played
with them. He was praying one day and
umama came,
Whenever he made sukoor, he put her down.
Whenever he comes up, he would take her.
That was done by Rasulullah sallallahu alaihi wasallam.
There was a time the Prophet was making
khutba
and a child come. The Prophet
picked him up.
SubhanAllah!
Which Masjid this can be practiced? We chased
the kids out of our masajid.
And tomorrow we tell them Allah, subhanahu wa
ta'ala, is going to put the one who
is always thinking about salah, he'll put him
under the shade of the arash. But when
he comes to the masjid before all of
us,
sometimes the kids will rush and go very
early to the masjid.
All of us are sleeping
in our businesses.
We come to the masjid during the and
the kids went to the masjid earlier than
us.
And they're going there to get the first
line because the Sheikh told them going to
the first line is a virtue.
Don't want to get that one. But then
we, the old people, we when we come,
kick them behind. What kind of message we
are sending to them? You have no place
over here.
Kids recognized by the prophet,
the masjid,
in all kinds of categories.
I remember the time when the prophet
prayed
and he read a very short surah
in fajr
prayer. You know what fajr? Rasulullah salaamal usually
recites,
he usually recites
from 60 to 100 verses.
But this time, the prophet sallallahu alaihi wasallam
recited
only a short,
surah.
So So they were surprised why this. The
prophet sallallahu alaihi wasallam told them that sometimes
he start the prayer, but then he will
hear the sound of a baby crying in
the masjid.
So he knows that the mother is there.
The prophet sallallahu alaihi wasallam said he wants
to get her free for her child.
That's Rasulullah sallallahu alaihi wasallam. So my dear
brothers and sisters, this tagaful
is a very long concept and I would
love to talk about it in detail, but
time will not permit. But I guess you
understand what I meant. Right? You overlook the
vast majority of the things and focus on
the most important things. There should be in
the house things which cannot be compromised,
matters. I mean, issues that are related to
Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala. This one cannot be
compromised but there is always
a better way to convey a message. Your
child when he comes to you
and he get into trouble or he did
something wrong,
Rather than blaming,
scolding,
calling him with all sorts of names, why
can't you why can't you let him sit
down
and advise
him? When we are young,
trust me, we used to be, you know,
naughty
naughty boys. We play a lot.
We don't do those
but we play a lot.
Subhanallah, our parents tried their best, you know,
to convince us that prayer is important and
all of these things.
It wants a little because the environment is
not cooperating. It's not supporting in that regard.
I live in a place where
as a child, it's not easy for you
to approach your parent.
I told some of you the first time
my father shook my hand was when I
finished the Quran.
That was the first time.
We never know, you know, a young person
shaking the hand off the big ones. That's
disrespect.
You can't do that.
And subhanAllah, when the sunnah
comes, they change. I still remember the time
he had to call me and my brother
and told me and told us that from
now onward, if he see us getting afraid
of him, we will be in trouble. Imagine
the father has to tell his kid, don't
get afraid of me.
And still, because we are not familiar with
this new life,
you know, the sensitivity was was still there.
But subhanAllah, trust me. What works
was the hadith of the prophet sallallahu alaihi
wasallam and the approach he took. I remember
that time he called me, he told me
Ibrahim,
listen.
The prophet said,
That was the last
time I remembered when I engaged in those
jokes and playing and playing a lot. That
hadith.
Had been spending, had been, you know, doing
everything possible to make sure that he convinced
us to come and do it, but this
hadith,
And he let me sit down, and he
talked to me, and he respected. You know,
I sensed that, yes, I am somebody down
in the house. When he talks, it works.
Trust me. Up to date, this is what
is working now, Terbia.
Bring your child.
Talk to him in a nice way, in
a very kind way. Don't act as a
monster or as a big father. No. Act
as somebody who shares concern with him.
I understand what you are in, and I
understand how much you are suffering. And this
thing that you did is wrong, but don't
worry. We will cooperate inshallah with you to
make sure that it doesn't happen again. Talk
to them in a nice way. Trust me.
That will be the last time they have
that approach.
So a
is necessary. They ask
one of the the Bedwins,
He told the Bedouin, who is the aqil?
The person who has aqil. He says,
meaning the smart person. And
somebody who overlooks.
In the hadith of when
she was talking about those 11 sisters who
were talking about their husbands,
she talked about one of them. One of
them was describing her husband. She said,
She said, my husband when he is at
home, he's like Fahd.
You know you know Fahd?
Not the human being, the the the animal.
Fahd is a cheater. Right?
Anyway, do you know that animal that is
called? Right? Whatever animal there is, an animal
called
in Arabic.
That animal, they said it sleeps a lot.
So what she's trying to say that this
husband of mine,
if he is at home,
he's very calm.
Not like sleeping at but people can do
whatever they want as long as it is
right. He doesn't shout that much. He doesn't
say
any. He doesn't blame. He doesn't come back
to the house and ask why this thing
is here, why, who took this and put
it here. He doesn't do that. That's why
she said
But she said, when he is out of
the house, he's like a lion because she
didn't want somebody to think that her husband
is weak.
At home with us, he's very soft and
gentle and leaning and corporate person. And this
is Rasool Allah sallam by the way. Rasool
Allah sallam at home
is to support his family. He doesn't leave
them alone. He live with the family at
home.
Many of us are not like that you
will love. And you want your wife to
be cooperative and you're not like that.
Trust me. We do have brothers
who don't care about
the condition of the family at home.
You go out for long. You don't check
about your family. She message you. You don't
reply. You don't message her. She doesn't message
you. A life also at home, you are
not together.
And you want her to cooperate,
and you want her not to be depressed,
and you want her not to be sensitive
when taking care of of your kids. We
really need to read,
the sunnah of the prophet sallallahu alaihi wasallam
to get the best way to make it.
Being a student of knowledge or a scholar
doesn't work here. You have to apply what
you know.
Just being a scholar will not work.
Yeah. Many student of knowledge are misusing this
attitude that we are the student of knowledge
but they are not treating their spouse in
the correct way. That's why you have, in
some places, a person is being afraid of
marrying a sister who is who is a
scorner.
Why? They will tell you because she's gonna
be arrogant. She will not be cooperative because
she believes she has also exactly what I
have.
It's supposed to be the other way around.
Right? If somebody get a sister who is
a scholar, he's supposed to say,
go to this, but we're not doing the
right thing.
I remember Sayed bin Musaib or one of
the scholars, he married his daughter to to
somebody.
This boy got this marriage almost free.
And after everything has cooled down,
he wanted to go out.
Subhanallah. He wanted to go out. So the
wife asked him, my dear husband, where are
you going? He said, I'm going to study.
She said, he said with, she said with
who? She said, I'm going to your father.
There is a majesty,
that have been established.
She said, no. If you're going to my
father, trust me. Stay home. I will give
you whatever my father is going to give
you.
Very good wife. Right?
24 hours, husband. She said, no need to
go. Stay here. Whatever knowledge you get from
my father,
I will give you here at home.
These are the parent that know what to
do and how to take care of of
the kids.
The next,
behavior and the quality of a child, I
know my time is over and I have,
like, 20
points to address.
Yeah. So I will just summarize inshallah and
close, it inshallah.
We will have another time to talk about
this. The next one is Al Hazm
because when we talk about leading, see some
people think that I have to let my
children do whatever they want.
No. This is not good tamilah
and this is not being amin and trustworthy.
And you are cheating in the Amana. That's
why Paul says
A good is the one that is full
of mercy,
but there are red lines that the children
knows that they have they have no right
to cross them.
When they cross, there is somebody who will
never tolerate that. It will tell them what
to do. But in the nice way, the
way the prophet salallahu alayhi wasallam prescribed for
us.
That's why, is it halal for a person
to beat his child?
Is it okay for a person to beat
the child?
Yes. Right. Okay.
Why do you keep quiet then? You are
afraid of being beaten when you go home?
Yes. It's it's halal. Right? But is it
good to do it?
No. It's not.
Unless if there is no any other way,
you know, to give the terrier to a
child if you don't beat.
Because sometimes beating fixes.
But these are rare situations.
Especially in the time we're living in,
trust me, beating your child might be very
dangerous.
You have to be very careful because as
I said, somebody's taking care of our children
and taking over the terrier.
So beating your child might be very dangerous.
In the past, we got beaten.
But I go to my friend, Mazin.
Mazin would see me annoyed.
He asked me, why why he crying?
I tell them because my father beat me.
He would say, oh, so so what? I
also just know my mother beat me.
So the community is all like that so
nobody cares. But nowadays, if I am to
beat my child, he goes out, nobody among
his friends was ever been beaten by his
parent.
They are going to feed him with negative
thinking about about me. That will be the
beginning of the distance between you and you
and them. And wallahi, you're going to lose
them from that moment.
That's why the prophet
did not beat, but he said, you can
have at home a stick that you hang
on the wall.
On the wall, you have a you have
a what do you call a stick that
you hang there? The kids, they see it.
They know that, yes. The father can beat.
Although, he is very smart, very kind, but
he can beat. That will be like a
policeman
in the street.
The criminal, when he wants to commit a
crime when he see the policeman, they don't
do.
Exactly that stick is doing the same thing.
But practically,
you don't beat. You try to fix things
through the way that is as simple and
that is more merciful because as I said,
there is always a better way to convey
convey the message.
So honestly speaking, the time,
that was given to me is up to
the other. So I don't want to disappoint
these people, but as I said, I have
a long list of what to what to
do, but inshallah, we might have another time
to discuss these, matters.