Hussain Kamani – Islamic Manners #16
AI: Summary ©
The importance of avoiding in-person visits and building healthy relationships with people close to one is emphasized. The speakers also discuss the benefits of praying for a partner to stay together and avoid harms, and the importance of praying for a wedding and not getting married at all. The segment emphasizes the need to be mindful of others' actions and not apologize for them, and suggests attending events where significant events are happening and leaving small groups in public. The speakers also mention the importance of avoiding wedding ceremony and not getting married at all.
AI: Summary ©
advice to my dear Muslim sisters misma
Samartha was brief advice my DMs insisted on we intend to visit your relatives on the spoils subsistence carefully select the appropriate day. And now your designs duration, there are appropriate and inappropriate time
even to relatives and friends. So these are things that he's already mentioned
regarding brothers advice to everyone, which is that when you go to visit someone, don't think about yourself, think about the other person, when is a good time to visit, what's a good duration to hang around. Sometimes rather than going to visit someone, it may be better to descend something more convenient for them easier for them.
Shift autonomy to law, Holly, at times, he would say to people that you invite me to your homes for dinner. But the truth is that it's very difficult being with the hectic schedule that I have. So if you want you can send food to my house, and that'll be a lot more convenient for me. Now, obviously, that shouldn't be said to every person because that will make them feel distant. But if you have the right relationship with someone and you understand that person's really trying hard, you can have a conversation about what is feasible and what isn't feasible. So here he says that when you intend to visit your relatives or your Muslim sisters, carefully select the appropriate day and hour of your
visit and its duration. There are appropriate and inappropriate times for paying visits, even to relatives and friends. You know that this is a time where people's families returned back from work. And that's time when people usually spend together catching up on things that need to be done. Maybe having a meal together. Cleaning up is catching up to speed. It's possible that four or five o'clock time isn't a good time to visit people. So you have to be mindful of that. Yes.
Sure when you visit is present brief and enjoyable. Avoid turning into a boring worrisome inquisitive and lengthy visit. Instead it should be a visit whose purpose is to rekindle emotion old friendship occasion. The visit is desirable if it is short and considerate and as underserved, desirable, it is as long and Tyson during which conversation removes the purpose for valuable behaviors and useless. The unwanted salvia is having an issue have is available in Montana said when a meeting becomes too long.
So here he's saying that when you go to visit someone, make sure that the the meeting is pleasant, that you keep it brief. When someone hangs around too long, you run out of discussion points, you run out of talking points. And before you know it, you're not wasting time. You're backbiting you're talking about things that aren't necessary. But if you time your meeting, you have a goal a vision that I'm going to head to this meeting to rekindle an old friendship or to serve the rights of kinship that go visit my uncle, my cousin, or go visit a friend that I haven't seen in a while check up on them ask how they're doing. You go with a purpose, you can now accomplish something. But when
you hang around for a long time,
the host out of kindness may say nothing.
They'll continue to host you. And they may even drop hints but at times, the guest doesn't understand those hints. And they hang around and hang around long after the party's over long after their gatherings over and they've definitely overstayed their welcome.
Here the author is pointing out that these are all things that you must avoid, avoid just being somewhere aimlessly and uselessly. He quotes the famous scholar of Hadith into the inertia of Missouri, who said that when a meeting becomes too long shaytaan then has a share in it
shaytaan then has a share in it. Every meeting every gathering has its window of being beneficial. If I may say every friendship has that there's a point where hanging around the other person gives you an opportunity to learn from them to offer them something to have good moments together. But you'll notice that when people are roommates, or when they do spend when they spend way too much time together. This happens with siblings. It happens with spouses that happens unfortunately, with children and parents to in that dynamic that when you're around each other for too long. You end up becoming toxic towards one another. You start slotting in snarky remarks you become very harsh in
your words. When you know of yourself that that's not you and the people around you know that that's not you. But then all of a sudden, you become very harsh. Therefore, create space between you and other people create space. Try not to make it happen.
bit of visiting someone every day or multiple times a day, be it someone that's very close to you.
There's a famous saying and not to be they say Zulu have been tested have been
visit in frequently, you will grow in love Zyban visit infrequently. Don't come to my house all the time, don't come see me all the time. That's the hook. But as a result of that, you will grow in love, that when you see each other after a while, you'll have good things to say.
Similarly, there is another famous, saying, sort of unconverted dark little Rubin, that I seek from you to live far away from me, so that we grow closer to one another.
Even though it sounds,
it doesn't make sense, right? How is living far away from someone going to increase you. But that's what happens. That when you're away from someone, you begin to think of them, you appreciate their memory, you appreciate their kindness, you appreciate the good moments you had with them.
So when you do meet them, now you make a commitment that Mama haven't seen you in so many months, I really want to cherish these moments. I don't want to waste a single one of these moments, because I don't get these moments. But that same person, you put them in that house with the other person for weeks or months, they become toxic towards one another. Hence breaking away, and then coming back together, breaking away and coming back together.
Being with your beloved ones is important. But the point that he's making here is spacing out.
There's so much barakah. In what our Dean teaches us.
Everything our Dean teaches us to do has so many layers of fiber, so many layers of benefit.
And one of the things I think of is praying Salah in JAMA,
when we go to the method to pray Salah ngema, there are so many benefits, there's a spiritual benefit community element to it. There's a sacrifice involved for going for the salon, which helps you focus that much more in the salon because you've sacrificed something to be there. But then on top of that, it also creates brief breathers throughout the day, brief breathers where now you have separation. So you come back together, you have separation, you come back together.
May Allah subhanahu wa taala give us the field to manage relationships. There are some people that are very clingy in their relationships. And they're only able to maintain the honeymoon phase of every relationship. I'm not talking about marital relations, I'm talking about all relationships, they get very clingy. They become BFFs very fast. And then whatever the equivalent is for worst enemies, they become that to them.
Where they love intensely and then they hate as passionately.
One of the last narrations that Imam Muhammad Allah, Allah narrates his movement. It's a statement from his hobby.
Not necessarily metaphor to Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wasallam
where he said
yes, Habiba. Kahana Ma. As a Coulibaly aka yo mama. Be very mindful of how much you love Your Beloved Habib Habib, aka how nama Be careful Be easy when it comes to offering love. Asa an akuna believe that a yo mama because one day that friend may become your greatest enemy. Well, I believe the believer, Kahuna ma Assa a Akuna Habiba Yeoman. And be mindful of how much you hate your enemy, because tomorrow that enemy may become your,
your friend, someone who you can't stand you end up marrying them happens in life,
someone who you love very dearly. Now just seeing their name on your phone
causes stress. It literally inflicts PTSD, where you you can't sleep you can't think because of how badly that relationship ended. Why is people, they balanced relationships, they tread carefully, and they ensure that every relationship is based on something. There is an anchor that brings that relationship together. This is one of the most important advices that I give to young couples that are getting married. That look when you marry.
Getting along with your spouse or building a relationship with them Inshallah, that'll be the easier one because you've selected each other, you've chosen each other You're Happy and you're willing to enter into this relationship. The problem is building the relationship with
All of the people that you're not getting married to.
But now you will have a relationship with them. Because those are not the people that you've said no to.
He didn't say that to your brother in law, Sister in law, uncle in law, that's the word mother in law father in law, you didn't say that to them. But they're a part of the
part of the package. So now there are those people who have their guard up, and they refuse to build any relationship because they've been fed horror stories. And then there are those people who go all in that isn't good either.
Where you're better besties. Now everyone in the family overnight, it's a very risky move, very risky move. Because you have to understand and you have to assess first before you go all in with any relationship, whether you feel the other person can handle that, or
they might misunderstand what you're doing, and then overcome it to you. And with every relationship when someone expresses a lot of love, when the relationship feels intimate. A byproduct of that is that there are expectations.
And those expectations are what break down relationships. That's why people who have the ability to pardon who have the ability to show compassion, people who don't have high expectations, or I like to call them high maintenance relationships. I've categorized all of my relationships like this by individuals. These are high maintenance people, these are low maintenance people, low maintenance people they're very easy to deal with. Those are the best relationships. Because you can have brief moments together so much love, no complaining, everyone's happy. High Maintenance Relationships are hard. They're very hard. These are people that no matter how much you offer them, they're still
unsatisfied. But you didn't do this. There was one young lady she wants. This is years back, she shared an incident with me that she was having problem with her problems with her in laws.
Her mother in law would visit and she would enjoy taking care of her mother in law as much as she could, you know, think of her as an elderly lady and provide and take care. But she said her in laws would always complain. At one point in her her in laws complained that she made a meal so they said that you made chicken but don't you know that when you serve it and lodge is supposed to have chicken, lamb, beef, vegetable, rice and bread all at once.
So then she says to me, we didn't even have all that on my walima
we didn't have all that variety. I'm at William and I'm an originally when I heard this, I thought there was some humor involved and maybe she's just being sarcastic. No one can have such high expectations. But when people don't know where their boundaries are,
they expect too much. And this is the easiest way to crack a relationship open and to destroy mean big if you want to break a human being don't ever want that though.
But just as an observation have ridiculous expectations of them do this with your kids and watch what happens to them when they grow up.
It's a perfect chance to great cracker human being open set a lot of expectations and just don't be happy with it. And then say all you want to that I'm trying to be a positive influence. It's a lie.
And it's been Mallika do long one talks about how to sort of last a long while he was sort of mentored him on my quarterly ofin
It is awesome. Never he never scolded me LeMaster Nakada Helaas on Africa episodes have never said to me, why did you not do this this way. He wasn't micromanaging people, giving them goals. giving them freedom. Allowing them to grow when they needed to be caught. Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam was waiting there with his arms out it giving them the opportunity to experience life.
So when you go into any relationship,
the in law when I was speaking of earlier,
rather than one few days into your marriage saying to your sister in laws that were like sisters Now calm down a little slow it down, buddy, right? She's like my mother. I'm like her daughter slow down. Let's get there. How about that? Let's build the relationship. Let's explore this and let's see what kind of relationship this is going to turn out to be. Okay. That whole thing that my daughter in law is like my daughter. It's a little tricky. Right? Because if she though
like really is she would you expect that much of your own daughter without expecting your daughter to almost say something back?
So you don't get to say she's like my daughter because if you say that then you have to give her the liberty to then maybe be the whole package. Right? And I call it the hollow when you are establishing relationships
Slowly, easy. First figure out whether high maintenance or low maintenance, and then posture yourself accordingly and you commit accordingly. You slowly ease into people. I'm not saying that you should keep yourself at distance at all times from your relatives. I'm not saying that. And neither am I saying that you should be there all day, and just be with them all the time.
Find a place in the middle. The issue is that if you over commit,
this is the problem with over committing to relationships, if you over commit to a relationship, you'll be very miserable. If that person isn't a good human being, because then not everyone expects you
to be good to the relative and since you've set such high standards, you now have to follow through whether you like it or not. And if you say anything foul, people will point their fingers at you that you're the one that's being screwed here, you're the one that's not looking after my brother, my sister in law, you're the one that's not doing this, you're the one that's not doing that.
So ease into relationships, slowly ease into relationships, and even those, even those relatives or friends that are close to you that you have from childhood. Be mindful, don't get too close. Right? Understand every human being has a role in your life, and you have an equal role in their life. There are some people who you are and should be an open book with because their relationship means that much. Right. And it's cordial. And it's two way where people are respectful and they're also offering as much as they're taking. But there are other human beings that you have to realize, unfortunately,
their example
is like a lion that's just waiting for its prey to slip.
And they're gonna jump on you and they're gonna attack you and they'll take through your flesh, and they'll leave you beaten and wounded on the ground. Right? Every relationship has its place. Be kind to everyone. Love everyone. From your side, be as respectful as possible. But don't over expose yourself. Habiba. Homam Assa a Akuna believe aka yo mama, be mindful of how much you love your beloved because one day they may become your
your enemy. You have to be careful of that. I'm going to announce the Allah one.
When he became Muslim
it's fascinating because when he became Muslim, he had to say to the sort of loss of Allah who it was sudden, a messenger of Allah I'm willing to become slim on the condition that Allah forgives my sins because I've committed so many atrocities against Islam and the Muslims
that we saw him said to him Mr. Olympia Anil Islam they had the kind of love of course love forgive you you become Muslim everything in the past is forgiven
then I'm a banaswadi Allah who want interacted with a pseudo Lhasa Eliza
and have you said a lot it's not so much love when you interact with people. It was very kind very genuine, very loving. See, there's you may think I'm contradicting myself I'm not the way you carry yourself should always be full of empathy and compassion.
When I'm saying over committing, I'm talking about oversharing inserting yourself into the other person's private area, their personal life. And if you said a lot of it was some didn't visit everyone's houses frequently. I shot the Allah Maha says, and Heidi this body that when I was young from a young age, I remember also that Mr. Visit us in the mornings and evenings to have you the pager. Because then she says that one day the Prophet sallallahu Sallam came in the afternoon time and he wouldn't generally come at that time. And then he said to her, I said to Dr. Sidney Guardiola, one that have anyone else that's in the room leave and he said O Messenger of Allah,
they're all family. What is and then they talked about Asia. Okay. So they were people who want to be seen a lot of sent and visited their homes two times a day. That was Abubakar, so this will be a long one. But that wasn't for every other Sahabi does the difference, loving compassion, one thing, but then inserting yourself into that person's private life that comes with time that you build that trust. So I'm gonna also have your loved one he experienced, so much love from a sort of loss of a lot isn't always loving people.
always respectful, attentive.
So he asked me, he said Allahu Allah, He was someone
who was most beloved to you.
In his heart, he was thinking that the use of a long while they will sit him will say my name.
And this gathering right here, if people will hear it, it'll be set for the record, that I was the greatest hobby.
So nobody said a long while he was sent him said, Ayesha,
she's most most beloved to me.
So he said, fair, if that makes sense. I mean, it's his wife, someone
who's next. What are the sort of law said lots of them, say, a boo, her father.
Now, depending on which rewire you read there, he continues to ask and there's also names more people and more people and more people, until at some point he stopped asking because his name didn't.
He was publicly asking a question and abuse it a loved one. He was someone wanting to ensure the answer he was giving was a matter of fact.
So everyone would know that these are people who are witness to the loss of loudness and from the earliest times, the fact that his name wasn't in the first four people didn't mean that it'd be said a lot of money was sent him didn't offer him respect, that he didn't offer him love. But everyone has their their place.
Similarly, we see with Allah subhanho wa taala.
Not all servants are the same with Allah.
Allah azza wa jal says that those who disobey Allah subhanho wa Taala their hearts are blind of His love.
And they are those who believe. And they continue to sacrifice and Allah test them and they stand firm, they keep doing the good of him and they keep sacrificing for him. They don't give up. And for those people, Allah subhanho wa Taala and slowly draws them in.
And then he opens up his Assad and his secrets to those hearts.
And these people they walk among us, but they can see the world from a very different lens because they have accomplished a shade of Wilaya friendship of Allah. And therefore Allah subhanahu wa taala has opened their hearts to realities that others will never see the home KHUDOBIN life Tahuna What are you in live soon it was
nice to be here. And then what's the final analogy I luggage with them. Without eeka Girl and ham they are like
cattle. But although rather they are further misguided. What I call hot feeling their biggest mistake was that they were forgetful.
That's how the heart goes numb. This is how the eyes become blind. This is how the ears go deaf will not come home.
How does I end?
Love you and this is the beauty of the Quran. That at the end of the ayat Allah subhana wa Tada delivers key adjectives that capture everything that was said in the previous verse, or the previous set of verses. Most of us we just do yalla Tanimura we quickly rush
but if you slow down a little and you pay attention without ecoman Orpheum so what's the solution? What's the next I
would I come to the afternoon then? Well Illa Hill USMA on Husna. Further Obeah that's the solution that Allah has beautiful names for the OB has invoke Allah with those names. Whether lady named Hayden Fe si in an IR continue
so then there are those hearts that Allah subhanahu wa Tada brings in near.
And the amazing thing about the relationship with Allah subhanho wa Taala is that you can fully commit to it. You don't have to worry because Allah subhanahu wa taala promises no betrayal.
In the law Hello you they are legit and Masini Hello Jessa hola Sani IL and Hassan in Allah you will Masini all these verses. Allah loves those who do good Allah will never waste good deeds is the contents of real goodness, other than excellent itself. What else is there going to be? Nine out of love, yada come in shocker. Momentum. Notice that there is a lot going on tells us in any way that you just have to start the journey and Allah will take care of everything else. He waits for you to initiate friendship with Allah subhanho wa Taala that close relationship is available to everyone. But you will need to initiate it. You will have to sacrifice verse and the more you commit to it the
longer you trust Allah and keep firm with your dialogue with Allah, Allah will open up your heart.
Right? And then once Allah subhanho wa Taala opens up someone's heart
their life from there onwards changes.
The in sun focuses too much on
building
the way they are perceived by other human beings.
We're too worried about our persona. This
is basically the obsession of the inside.
Most of us if we were to be honest, we live our lives
wondering how people are going to see us. What are they going to think of us people were working decades of their lives to get a fancy house so someone can say good home.
Right?
But when a person builds a relationship with Allah, one of the first things that happens
is Allah subhanahu wa Tada allows you to see that there's no purpose in serving yourself, focus on loving law, Allah will take care of you.
Right, today we read the WIA of the sahabi, who
spend the night with Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam.
And he spent the night with the Prophet of Allah with the NIA of doing Kidman serving the prophet of autism.
The rewire says that Rasulullah sallallahu is sort of woke up in the middle of the night so this hobby he presented
the the Waddle fatawa, the water of tuna visa, Allahu alayhi wa sallam and also anything Hydra who some of the basic needs maybe a container to relieve himself in or maybe other something else was luck, something that was needed at that time. In that moment, his his mama his service to the pups that a lot is sort of meant so much. The promise that allowed is appreciated how genuine he was. So what did he say to him? Said
what do you want? Tell me.
So he said, as a Luca Mora for Kottakkal Jana.
I want your companionship in gender. He asked her like he just went straight for the price went straight for the kill. Episode. A lot of them said what do you want? He said I want to be your companion I want to be with you engine. So maybe he said Allahu alayhi wa sallam said I will hate evatik anything else? How about we start with small steps and eclairs maybe a lollipop like How about we take it easy? He's go straight for the kill us Luca Morava pill.
JEN I want your companionship.
So what an obese Allison said. He said to him, I nee Allah Neff seeker because through the sujood
help me against yourself.
Indiana, Neff SICA help me against yourself because you keep holding yourself back as human beings we are our greatest barriers. In the Allah Neff SICA helped me against you with what
because
by doing such a abundantly before Allah, so coming down,
so when Allah subhanahu wa Tada gives someone
Basia
the anatomy they make a distinction between vasara and Masirah. Masada they say is what the eye sees besitos but the heart sees that Allah subhanahu wa Tada then just like with all relationships, you can go you have to be careful with them and the further you go in the relationship, the more you get out of it. But the relationship with Allah subhanho wa Taala is such there's no betrayal here.
You have to earn your you have to earn your stripes that Allah will test you. Allah will put you through difficulty and if you're one of those people who the moment life gets difficult, you bail then that's upon yourself. Right? That when a person does good, it's for them oh man, I mean if it and if a person does wrong then that's also against individual faith. Let's circle back to where we started off here. Shackleton Fatah bluedata Moon love with Allah says that in any relationship, friends or relatives, make sure your meeting with other people is purposeful. And be mindful of overstaying Your welcome.
Because when a meeting becomes too long shaytaan then has a sharing it in the footnote, the translator then as a small little line there. He says this also applies to phone calls.
That's a very cute interpretation.
Because it that's so true, though, right? I mean, who goes to visit people these days? Not that much. Maybe on the weekend or something. But texting you know that one person who keeps messaging in the groups when everyone's done with the conversations. That person just keeps sending emojis and keep sending gifts and they're just keep going at it again and again.
Man employ that slow down a little bit. Go ahead.
Should I during the visit most if not all your talk is a value and benefit. Keep away from backbiting and gossip but I do talk a wise Muslim woman does not have time for social
He's highlighting distinct for women specifically, possibly because he noticed that in his society based off his observation, that women were spending a lot of time chatting and talking about things that were unnecessary, and therefore creating fitness. But the reality of the matter is, we, unfortunately, are all guilty of this. We're all guilty of this, that we get caught into backbiting, gossip, and idle talk, may Allah protect us. Okay, let's continue
the sin of attending a wedding, if you're invited to a marriage ceremony or wedding celebration, you should accept the invitation. And that's included includes praying to the acts, attending a wedding is a part of the nervous and
examine God's marriage as an act of worship and obedience. So this, the jurors have mentioned that is preferable to contract the marriage International. Okay. So the first thing he says here is that when you are invited to a wedding ceremony, or a marriage celebration, you should accept the invitation unless it includes prohibited acts. So if there's something haram happening there, then you excuse yourself. Now, there's a lot of discussion here, because there's a lot of nuance that could be discussed. But for now, what I will say is this, when you are invited to a gathering where Haram is going to happen, there are multiple ways that you can handle this, the first thing you can
do is just choose not to go all together. In that case.
See if you can convey to the host why you choose not to attend, do it privately do it personally, let them know that hey, you know, there are things that are going to happen at the wedding that are beyond my beyond my comfort zone. So I won't be attended. If you can't attend a gathering, it's always a good idea to send a gift anyway. That way, the individual who host who invited you originally doesn't feel that you're not attending the gathering means that you don't care or love them. Sending a gift goes a long way.
I think better than that, maybe attend the gathering briefly, even if it's at the beginning or tail end of the event. If you can't stay for the entire event. That makes sense. There are many times where I'll be invited to an event. Chicago Nasir and I were at a wedding.
And
we sat and we were just enjoying the meal and being with people and talking. And the bride and groom got up to do a dance.
We said oh, that's our cue to go. Right just got up and left them. Because now the gathering was transitioning into
an environment that we didn't feel comfortable with. So maybe you can attend the beginning part, say your salon to people, greet them, and then take leave.
When people get married, or when they have their big events. They're usually doing it at a time where something significant is happening in their life. By showing support and being there, it will mean the world to them.
My mother in law lives to say to me that when someone invites you try your best to go. Because for you it's just a meal but for them it's a memory of their life.
So don't look at it from your perspective and be selfish just
sit with people smile show but the gift and they will remember this
the AMA do say that if you are someone
who is followed in the community and by you attending people will assume that you are legitimizing the Haram that's happening then you shouldn't go.
Oh Allah Allah knows best.
It seems as if people know what's haram and they know what's right.
Do you guys understand? Like people know what's haram and they know what's right. Now unless you're actively saying that this is legitimate, or this is a good thing to do, which is clearly wrong.
My position still is that maybe briefly attend and then leave. It goes a long way. When you stop attending these gatherings all together. The purpose is so that you don't legitimize it but the problem is the byproduct of that is that family members, friends in society at large will then view you as outcast, that this is that person who doesn't attend people's gatherings. So any influence you think you may have had, will probably diminish. Right? So balance it carefully, monitor the situation, see how you feel, and then communicate it accordingly with the host.
He says that Islam in Islam marriage is considered as a thought as an act of worship.
For this reason, the jurists recommend
that marriage contracts are conducted in the masjid.
It's just permissible to conduct marriages anywhere. You can conduct them at a hall or at home. A Masjid is definitely a good place to conduct a marriage. It's the household law. And when someone gets married in the masjid the community attends, and it's such a beautiful place to start the relationship from.
One of the amazing things about doing
an ICA in the masjid is that because of the event, relatives, friends and family will be able to come to the machine who probably wouldn't have ever made it otherwise.
Right? There was a time
when, earlier when I was in Chicago, that if I was ever asked to speak at a wedding, I would always made time for it, I would always go to the weddings. And I made them a priority because I felt that there was an audience there that I didn't have a chance to, that wouldn't have the chance to speak to otherwise. So I would utilize that as an as a moment to maybe say two good words. Write two nice things. And hopefully Allah will take it from there and guide them to wherever they're destined to go. Wherever their path leads them.
I don't do that so much these days, though.
Marriages are such a time killer. There's so much dead time and so much time wasted at weddings. That at this point in my life going to weddings is something that I do. Out of absolute necessity.
absolute necessity. May Allah subhanaw taala grant us Sophia, so he says it's preferable to to contract the marriage in the masjid. I think this is a very good thing. I'll give it Sophia. Yes.
This is based on a heavy proportion
of the size of marriage executed in the masjid and celebrated. publicize the marriage Allah Nica maybe saw some publicize the marriage. Marriage is not a private affair. It's public. You announce it to people
and then executed in the masjid and celebrate it whether your blog they have a duff and take the duff is a one sided drum. celebrate it with it's a good thing. Yes.
Another Hadith reported by Imam Muhammad Al Hakim and I will support the first part of the Hindi publicize the marriage. It is also supported by third Hadees reported by Amanda Timothy and he mentioned
the difference between illegitimate marriage and illegitimate relationship is a presence on voices.
That's fair. That's the main fact right. That's one of the main differences. You know, why would someone keep their relationship with their spouse secret? Now, there could be cases I know there are some scenarios where it's safer to keep it a secret, right.
But except for those few exclusions, for the most part, you should not hide your marriage, you should keep it public. Yes, there is no dispute among among Muslim scholars that in a wedding celebration.
The most valid among some scholars in
order to publicize thus making it known uniform, the neighborhood is starting purpose of such publicity is to distinguish you know, when it comes to the duff using this stuff
COVID The purpose of using it is where the scholars differ.
Some scholars they say that the duck is more for love. It's a part of the entertainment of the night, enjoy yourself you listen to it, someone might see some poetry along with it, you kind of celebrate using the
other one Mr. They say it's not for celebration, rather the diff should be used Allah Wajid Alon
to announce something.
It's literally they say the dove is being used as a tool to get the attention of people.
The reality is it could be both. It could be a little bit of this, a little bit of that. Yes.
There was a purpose of such
a headache mentioned about difference between images.
illegitimate relationship in the presence of voices is explained by Allah as follows by voice is method that can actually be announced election to the people. Voice also refers to singing of legitimate energy for standing songs.
Poetry, it's a good thing. You know, it's something that's being lost with our times. You don't find poets these days, when historically, Muslims were at the forefront of
Having
mastery in expressing themselves using words they were good at it.
I really hope that we can head back there Inshallah, that we have people among us who take interest in language and arts and, and can take us back to that culture. You read the works of the Madiun Facetune. Any grim skull that kid you not pick up any work, and you'll find poetry. In between paragraphs, they'll just be a line here a line there a line here a line there, it shows the school culture.
That was the form of art. That's how people share. But these days Michigan defined it. I'm telling you talk two out of 110 people may even know a few verses of poetry by heart.
Yes, go ahead. And tell me one thing is one of the rights of
publicity and it reinforces and testing of the mind. It also gives you a chance to join your brethren in this pious act by which they can be helpful, which leaves only the second half for them to uphold. attending a wedding also honors the husband and wife by having the relatives friends and other kinds of people to share in their hat lessons
after the righteousness and success afterwards and prosperity. Okay, folks, we'll stop here inshallah. We have just one or two chapters left. If Allah wills in our next class, conclude, we pray that Allah subhanho wa Taala accepts grants product line are gathering and makes from those who Lommel upon what we learn, we'll send them along with is ceremony