Hosai Mojaddidi – Women Are Better Desired Womanhood Reimagined
AI: Summary ©
The segment discusses the "ma'am's presence" movement, which was created by women who wanted to bring women back to society and develop their fullest human potential. The segment also highlights the "ma'am's presence" movement, which was created by women who wanted to bring women back to society and develop their fullest human potential. The segment also touches on the impact of media on women, including the shift in society from birth control, abortion, and divorce, and how it affects women, making them sad, sad, sad, sad, sad, sad, sad, sad, sad, sad, sad, sad, sad, sad, sad, sad, sad, sad, sad, sad, sad, sad, sad, sad, sad, sad, sad, sad, sad, sad, sad, sad, sad, sad, sad, sad, sad, sad, sad, sad, sad, sad, sad, sad, sad, sad, sad, sad, sad, sad
AI: Summary ©
Bismillah R Rahman r Rahim Al hamdu lillah wa Salatu was Salam o
Allah should have an MBA. Well mursaleen say that our Mowlana Why
have you been on Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam while
he was Sofia salam to Sleeman kathira. Again, Assalamu alaykum
Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh.
Al Hamdulillah, what did you think thank Rama Foundation and the
Jenner Institute, MCC East Bay, all of the organizers for bringing
us back together here again Alhamdulillah. After our last
session, we had so much positive feedback. And it's really
beautiful to see the community coming out again, and of course,
those who are watching online. So from the lab, this conversation,
as I said, if I do have mentioned is a little different than our
last conversation in that we're really dealing with contemporary
issues, contemporary struggles. So I have the topic about this notion
that women's roles and function in society have to do with how
desirable they are. And we're going to break this down together
and show up. Now, we did mention before. So the fact that the
content of this topic is obviously for a more mature audience. So if
you have younger girls, I would ask you to please take them out,
if you would, just for my comfort level, and your comfort level and
their comfort level. And then inshallah we can proceed. But I'll
give you a moment to do that if you feel the need to do that.
What that said, again, here is the description that we put out, when
we gave you the program details about this, this message, it's a
toxic message. But it's a message that is found in every element of
our of our society, from a very young age girls are taught to
think of themselves in this form of they are focusing on the
physical and focusing on on on that part of who they are. And
then of course, in our cultures, and then in media. And we'll we'll
get to all of that. But I really wanted to talk about this
discussion. And what I'd like you to keep in mind is this beautiful
quote that actually someone posted yesterday and my relative of mine
on Instagram, and I thought it fit this perfectly. Because really,
women have so much potential as we have already learned Alhamdulillah
with Dr. Ronny has beautiful talk. And we will come to learn in the
other talks as well. But we have so much potential, it's usually
the environments that we are in that prevent us from reaching that
potential. So I want you to keep this idea of you know, of how can
we individually on an individual level also as a as a community,
make these changes to the environment that we are subjected
to as women. And so with that said, we got to go back a little
bit. So bear with me, because this is going to be kind of like a
women's studies class in a way I'm going to take you on
a little bit of a stroll through through the past to get to where
we are today to explain because again, as Dr. Ronnie beautifully
said, context matters. So here's the history.
It's so important that we as women know about these two major
movements that happened almost simultaneously. And of course, I'm
talking about the sexual revolution and the women's
movement. And there's not enough time to go into all of the major
things that unfolded during that very public or politically intense
time. But these are some of the highlights that I feel like all of
us as women have to understand. So first, we want to look at the you
know, the pill, and it's we should know, obviously what that
references, but when it was manufactured and produced and
became commercially available. And then also, the timeline in terms
of the political activism that was going on. Of course, we're in the
midst of a Warren's or a lot of this culture that was right here.
And for those of us in the San Francisco Bay area, right here in
San Francisco in the Haight Ashbury district, there was this
movement, and it was like a commune of people who basically
came together with these very, very different ideas, let's just
say all the bit about, you know, opposing war by spreading love,
but their ideas, of course, were perverse and they practice a lot
of things that, that were just simply haram on every level. But
this was they caught national attention because there were a
considerable amount of people flocking to San Francisco to be a
part of this right. And I'm sure we all we've all read or heard
references to this in the past. But another really important
person that we should know about is Betty frighten or Frieden I
don't know how to say her name, but Frieden maybe works. She wrote
The Feminine Mystique, and she was also the founder of the
organization now right National Organization for Women. Now, look
at her statement of purpose. And I think this is so important because
we want to remember that a lot of the people in that time their
intention
ones were good, there were good and well intentioned people. They
wanted to basically, you know, bring, as the statement says,
right women, first and foremost are human beings to assert the
humanity of women. So that was the biggest part of what that why they
were speaking out and actually, you know, pushing back, and to
give women the chance to develop their fullest human potential. So
you can see that that is something of course, all of us. If we can
just put ourselves in that time, we would probably all want to be a
part of a movement like that, that was saying, Yes, we're human
beings. We deserve rights. We deserve human rights. So in many
ways, that was the platform, but things changed. And so why did
they change? Now this event is really important. This happened on
November 18. And this was in the Chinese room at the Mayflower
Hotel. So they now basically had their second annual conference and
look at the amount of women that attended 105 women. It's less than
what we have here 105 women, and they came together to go over the
Bill of Rights, which was part of their charter, and they wanted to
really, you know, organize themselves. So in addition to the
founder, Betty Friedan, there was another woman, Margaret roe waltz,
and she's looking at her age 72 years old, much older, much more
conservative, and she was appointed by JFK, to lead the
Commission on the Status of Women. So she also had a very important
role. And they were coming together join forces to really
again advance the cause for women. However, in the, in that meeting,
Frieden she basically pretty much surprised and shocked everyone in
attendance, especially Margaret robot, because while they were
there to vote on different matters, the very last vote that
she saved was on abortion. And that was very device, a device of
the entire crowd completely was divided. You had very conservative
women in that room, like row waltz, and then others who are
more liberal. And freedom, though had a reputation she was referred
to as being someone so frightening that she was all of the witches of
Macbeth and one person. That's what some people said about her.
So she was a very a force to be reckoned with. But she basically
got the vote to swing in her way to push for a repeal of all laws
that had to do with abortion. And this was something roll out was
not happy about. So it was it caused a big problem. Now, two
days later, what does she do? She decides to hold a press
conference, remember, 105 women only I think what was it 57 Women
that voted 5714 57 women voted for abortion laws to be repealed, but
she goes in front of a national you know, she's this is a press
conference. And she speaks on behalf of 28 million American
women and says that this is what we want. We want abortion laws to
be repealed. This was a huge moment in this country because the
conversation around this topic that before then was very taboo,
was suddenly changing and shifting. And of course, as media
does, they're going to pounce on sensational news. So the
conversation starts to change the rhetoric around, you know, female
sexualities that sexual practices, health care, all of these things,
abortion start to really change, right? And then not too long
after, you know, in 1973, of course, we have Roe vs. Wade. Now,
Betty Friedan was interviewed in 2001. And again, this quote is
important. She says ideologically, I was never for abortion.
Motherhood is a value to me. And even today, abortion is not, I
believe, passionately in 1967. I believed passionately in 1967, as
I do today, that women should have the right have chosen motherhood.
For me, the matter of choices have never been primarily the choice of
abortion, but that you can choose to be a mother this that is as
important as any write written into the constitution. So she was
not pushing really for abortion. She was pushing for the for the
choice, right. But I don't think she may have realized Alana knows
the consequences of what she did, because they were severe. And what
I mean by that is, again, the introduction of a repeal on
abortion law changed every bit the attitude, the culture, around
these topics. And we saw in 1963, a few years after the pill was
introduced, right 2.3 million women taking it, single women
started taking it because they could want have more sexual
freedom, they could start doing things without the consequences of
an unwanted pregnancy, and married women could limit their family
size. So all of this matters, because we have to ask questions
right about how did we get to this place now? Well, all of these
things are changing the way that our societies was previously
structured, it starts to shift everything right. And so then we
have in 1964 This is a major Supreme Court ruling that this
book, Henry Miller's book, Tropic of Cancer was not considered
obscene when that you know, ruling was was implemented and what
happens it opens the floodgates for more and more books,
magazines, movies, to begin to start to
refer to and start showing more salacious, more sexual content.
And of course at the center of that is going to be women. The
debates, of course, have continued ever since for decades on all of
these topics from birth control, abortion, homosexuality, marriage,
and divorce, *, all of these things started to just
become mainstream topics that were debated between, of course, the,
the conservative, right, and the liberal left. And that's continued
up until today and continues to be something of debate 35% of, of
births today, FYI, are from unmarried women. So we can see a
huge again, shift because of all of these things. And of course,
the steps. I mean, we should note all of these, these things. So
now, let's get to some facts that again, we should all know,
especially if you have if you're a mother, and you have daughters, is
so important that we know this, but the exploitation of female
sexuality again, as all of these changes were happening so rapidly,
the advertisers and people in the filament movie into industry, the
entertainment industry, of course, sees the opportunity, right?
People are just not as taboo as it was, I'm not gonna get cancelled,
right at that time. They had a similar idea, the concept of
canceled culture, you couldn't speak on certain things without
consequences. But suddenly those consequences were removed. So now,
it's about profitability. It's about making profits right. So the
as they realize that there is immense profitability and
exploiting and objectifying women, they begin to do that, for decades
after the industry practice was to do what and you can see this I
shared actually with a certified doula a link yesterday that was so
disturbing to look because there was someone who had basically
collated all of the these ads over how many decades that showed the
objectification of women men, everything, but it was just really
disturbing to see the, the massive amount of, you know, these types
of imagery that we've been subjected to that we may not even
realize, but dismembered ads are something that we should know
because I remember I watched and I'll get to that in a moment, but
it can make a when you start to see it or understand the the
definition of these things, that you'll start to notice it and it's
going to affect you, but what does it dismembered add, when you take
a woman and completely you know, parser into pieces, she's no
longer a human being that you feature to, you know, in whatever
advertising you do, you just look at her as body parts. So an arm
here, a leg here, you know, mouth here, other obviously parts as
well. But that was just industry practice. So we saw it in print
media, Billboard commercials, selling everyday products,
toothpaste, right and woman has to be completely almost half naked to
sell toothpaste. But this is why because again, there was
profitability in that. And so women became objects, playthings
prizes, this is what was standard. And then, of course, the
subliminal messages right of these, the non existent ideal
image of femininity, which continues to pervade this, these
unrealistic, filtered, and digitally digitally manipulated
images, of course, which we've gotten even better as technology
is advanced, but there are plastered everywhere. So we, as
young girls, whether we know it or not, we're seeing these things,
you go to a store, a children's toy store, you can see images, and
we'll get to, again, the targeted campaign on little girls in a
moment. But everywhere we look, we see these images in print, film,
television, social media. And so as a result, and look at the
statistics, this is so horrific. It is so horrific to think that in
one year, a child grade school children could take in as many ad,
as many as 80,000. Sexy girl portrayals watching what not adult
television, Kid targeted TV programming, they know what
they're doing, they want to get inside our heads, they want to
break us down. They want to reduce us to nothing but a physical
object that they can then use and manipulate however they want. And
they do it at a very young age. And of course, the consequences
are devastating. The APA, in 2007, reported that the sexualization of
girls in the media is far more than the sexual than than boys,
right girls were often featured in revealing clothing, as well as
with bodily postures and facial expressions. Again, young girls,
we're not talking about girls of age, young girls that imply sexual
readiness. So they are being told to pose in in ways that invite
that and of course, you know, you can see that everywhere now in
this culture if you're looking at children's programming, but also,
as I said, just going through the aisles of a store like Target,
you'll see even the way that sometimes the girls, the posters
for girls clothing or other things, the way that they're
positioned, it's very inappropriate. And further studies
that again, show how
widespread this problem is 58 different magazines, according to
this study had more than 50% of their advertisements were featured
as * objects women were. And then in men's magazine 76% of the
time they're being objectified. Just again, you can look at the
the numbers here, but it's just devastating. And then down here at
the bottom, the American Journal of Psychiatry, this now has to
have social media because we're, again, we're bringing it we're
kind of moving through the timeline here, right? We talked
about the movements, and then the print media and all of the the
changes that were happening rapidly now, with social media, we
have much more more devastating problems in the fact that in the
sense that these devices are in our children's hands for nine
hours or more a day. And they're being bombarded with this type of
imagery. And again, 10 to 25% of adolescents who were surveyed in
this particular study had sent *, if you don't know what that
is, you should know that term, right? Because we have text
messages. And then there are * messages, which are sexually
reference text messages that are either, you know, with words or
images, depicting something of a sexual content. So almost a
quarter of our youth are receiving and sending this type of
messages, it should really awake us.
And here we see again, the devastating effects it has on
young teen girls, right 80% Of women first of all, say that the
images of seeing other women on television and in movies, fashion
magazines, and advertising makes them feel insecure. So 80% of us,
let's just be honest, we've all been impacted. And if you think
you haven't, I don't know, maybe your Allah has protected you
completely. But at some point in our lives, we've probably done a
comparison. We've probably watched something and felt really ugly,
right? I feel like oh, my god is too big. My This is too big after
watching, you know someone else. This is what, what what is exactly
intended to happen. They want to break us down, right? Because it's
all about the physical 42% of girls, first, through third grade
want to be thinner. first through third grade? How many of you here
have first graders?
Anybody have a first grader, a second grader? A third grader? Can
you imagine that? They're talking about dieting. And that age,
they're not out there playing. They're talking about wanting to
be thinner. All the biller 81% of 10 year old girls are afraid of
being fat. Right?
How did that happen? Right? How did we come to a point in society
where that word is even, you know, is into this, again, concern of
children that young that 81% of girls are afraid of that Subhan
Allah. And then, you know, these are comparisons about the average
girl is five, four, but the model that's presented to us as the
average height is 511. So the ideas presented to us they're
thinner, they're taller, they're obviously photoshopped. They're
there. They don't, that's not true, you know, image of me
oftentimes, of what they even look like, but yet we do this
comparison. And then with young girls who are bombarded with this
type of imagery, how's it affecting them, they're feeling
lonely, depressed, anxious, lack of confidence, right.
And so it's clearly a problem that we need to be aware of. Now, this
is the this is a really important if you've never watched this,
please, if you have young girls, especially if teenage girls,
please watch this with them. I watched this in college. And this
was probably one of the I remember, it was very transforming
to watch this documentary. Jean Kilbourne for four decades has
been researching the exploitation of women in media. And she has an
amazing series that she's done every decade Subhanallah, where
she just goes, and she'll pull up ads to show you think this is all
you know, we're just making it up. It's real. And it's getting into
our minds. Because when you're passively watching television or
film, you're not always aware of what you're taking in. But if it's
there's enough of a stream of it, and it's constant enough, it will
start to break you down and make you feel bad about yourself. So
excuse me, so definitely check this documentary out. And I think
she even has it free like it's on YouTube.
So what is the mechanism that these advertisers use? Well, it's
pretty simple, right? Attractive bodies are employed. So they find
these models they find these subjects so that they can grab
people's attention and then simulate what desire so it's like
oh, and women, we have to, you know, there's a desire of a sexual
nature that obviously men would feel but for women, it's that
desire to be like what we see on the screen. So it is desire. That
is the impulse that is what they're telling
buying into right? And so you know, and then they hope obviously
that that desire will transfer to the product that they're selling.
So, you know, as they say, buy the beer, get the girl. In this way
women's bodies are equated with commodities presented as rewards
of consumption, right. And so here's some examples. And again,
this was from that website that I mentioned.
Just look here. This is a dismembered ad, right? We don't
see a full body in the first two here, we just see legs.
That's just terrible. And we shouldn't look at this, like, oh,
it's no big deal. No, it is a big deal, especially when you look at
the psychological effect and the ramifications of this type of
messaging from a very young age on girls. And we wonder why we have
an epidemic of an a crisis of eating disorders and other
problems. It's because of these types of messages that get into
our minds, right? And then look at this. This is a beer ad, right,
Michelle? Oh, she's She is the bottle. She's not even a human
anymore. Let's just forget her humanity. It was just infused her
into a beer bottle. That's how desperate they are to get female,
you know, consumers to buy their brand male consumers, obviously,
they're targeting men. But still, you know, look at that. And then,
I don't know about you guys. Have you ever jumped on a car with
like, 30 of your home girls, and then a picture like that?
I don't know. Are we missing out on something?
How unrealistic and ridiculous is that image? It's just so
ridiculous. Right? But we will just pass it by, you know, looking
at an artist instead of being angered like, Why? Why do we have
to, you know, spread ourselves on a car. I mean, are we? I don't
know about you. I've never met anybody who's loved their car that
much to to do that.
You know, this poor woman at the bottom here with her dog? I mean,
the dog got more Showtime than she did her ankles. Were all that
mattered here. Let's just hide her behind some wallpaper. I don't
know what that is fabric. But let's feature her dog. Her dog is
important. I mean, this is the kind of stuff that should again,
anger us like why why are we okay with this? And going back to you
know, the now's charter, like really what happened to the
humanity of women? This is what we're dealing with now. And this
poor woman? I mean, she's got beautiful teeth, no doubt. But
what about her? I want to see the rest of her why teasing me with
just her face. And I mean, smile and nose. Why is it you know, this
is these are the types of things that are subliminal, but they get
into our psyche, and we should just again, be angered by these
things. Not look at them, like, oh, what nice lipstick? No, that's
where's the rest of her? Right?
Exploiting the female consumer, right? $500 billion industry, the
beauty industry.
Individually $313 per month women spend on beauty products, creams,
lotions, makeup. And that's not to say that we can't beautify
ourselves, which we'll get to. But just think about why do you see
men? You know, I mean, I just saw yesterday, I noticed there's a
Sephora and there's Ulta. And there's so many makeup stores. And
like, you know, they're everywhere. They're really in
almost every shopping center, where the men's like I don't see
men having a store about beautification, like just for
them. But we needed apparently, so we're so desperately, you know,
unattractive, that we need to store pretty much in every
shopping center. It's just tragic. And then in a lifetime tuner
$25,000 are spending on beauty products, the procedures,
cosmetic, you know, I was thinking I saw a video the other day of
this dentist who she was making a tic TOCs to try to save women from
doing what running or getting on a flight to Turkey, which is now a
popular destination, where they are doing what any dentists hear.
I think I would be so mortified as if I was part of you know, that
industry to see people what they do, they shave their teeth down,
right to get the caps. You see it. These are young girls sometimes in
their 20s. And so as soon as they, you know, hit 1920 It's like your
teeth aren't even good enough. My god, what's left, what is left,
that we have to shave down the teeth, Allah subhanaw taala gave
us which are such a blessing. I mean, you can talk to any medical
practitioner, they'll tell you dental health, dental hygiene is
related to overall health. And if you have good teeth, even if you
don't think they're nice Alhamdulillah I was shocked to
realize I have my own teeth. But these poor girls are being
conditioned to think, nope, they gotta get rid of them. Because if
they don't look like Chiclets in your mouth, you don't have nice
teeth. Right? Like you just gotta have a set of chips. I mean, I
don't know, again, how we got to this point where we bought into
this right? Or, you know, other countries. Did you know the number
one is the number one country in the world for rhinoplasty.
You're on? It's a Muslim country. So there are people right, you
know, I mean, in our own communities, maybe in our own
families who are again, so impacted by these messages that
that our own countries are now
offering these services SubhanAllah.
Now the biggest target of the US cosmetic industry is Millennials
right now. So if you're a millennial aged 3018 to 34,
they're coming after you. You're the target, right? Because some of
us were on the older side, we're over it. I'm over it. I'm over
heels. I'm over lipstick. I remember all of it. Right?
Exactly. I'm over it. But those of you in the younger generation,
they're coming after you. So they're the, you're the ones that
they're going to tell you need. Everything's wrong with you.
Nothing is good enough, nothing. Right? Nothing. Stuff for the law.
So please watch out.
And then what's really ironic, and this is actually tragic, too. We
have to feel sorry for these people. Because when you see
Hollywood, and you see these actors and these actresses in
these singers, who are just being used and everyone, yes, they've
made a devil's bargain likely into in order to be in that industry,
we can say that, but they're still being exploited. 94% of women
employed in that industry have been victims of some form of
sexual harassment. That is shocking to me. That is shocking
to me that they're still willing to be in an industry where they
will report actual harassment on levels that are so troublesome, I
mean, stuff a lot. You know, it's one thing to have an inappropriate
joke, but look at if you go down the list of this propositioned for
a sexual act or relationship. Can you imagine staying in a job,
being propositioned inappropriately by someone who I
mean? Most people who are, you know, thinking would be like, I
don't need that job, right? Or, to have, you know, being if you go
further down, you're being forced to do all the bananas a sexual
act, 21% of the women were forced to do something, it's just tragic.
So we shouldn't, you know, look down on them, we should feel
sorry, that they are. So again, being so manipulated to think that
they have to subject themselves to these things that they're willing
to do that. But also, we should be aware of how much it's affected
women. Because if you look at this list here, right.
This is the top artists that sing about * and love. I looked at it
and I was like, stuff little right away. Look at it Lady Gaga. I
don't know Za, who that is Lizzo Whitney Houston, Beyonce. These
are women. And then on the right side, in the text you'll find who
got in 2021 She was prized. What a great prize, to have the most
sexual references in her songs Nicki Minaj right. 43 Direct
inferences to * and one song
on a set. And then, of course, two years ago, or almost two years
ago, I'm sure you guys remember, it was all over the news. You
couldn't escape it. But there was a song that came out it broke
records. It broke records, many records for the biggest 24 hour
debut. And then also on YouTube 55 million views in a week. And this
was of course, the terrible song out of the villa by Cardi B and
Megan, the stallion. I don't want to go into that. But just enough
this, this critique at the bottom is enough for you to know about
the song. It's degrading and disempowering to women due to its
sexually explicit lyrics and overt sexualization of women's bodies.
So these are all realities and our youth are or are, you know,
watching this content? I work with youth. I know they're listening to
these I've had literally classes within sessions with youth where
they admit that these are the people that they're listening to
in our homes, in our Muslim homes. These are the musicians that are
you know, that our young girls are memorizing their lyrics and what
are they talking about?
And then, you know, this is the genres that we also need to be
aware of.
And this I thought, what was really good This was from, you
know, he was the president of this Delamere health that put this
study together. But he said, music industry in many ways, glamorizes
and glorifies drug drugs and alcohol use drugs and out drugs,
alcohol and * within there exists something that can be
influential on the behavior of children and teenagers, just like
adults, they begin to relate to the artists and situations in
personal ways, that's really important. So it's not just that
it's entertaining, they start to see themselves in relation to who
they're listening to, to who they're watching to. So when you
have a young, again, 12 1314 year old girl listening to this stuff,
she's going to start comparing and contrasting and thinking, Well,
I'm not good enough, because I don't look like again, Cardi B or
Nicki Minaj or what have you.
The evidence is, there's ample evidence, there's it's undeniable,
right, to conclude that the sexualization of girls has
negative effects in a variety of domains. We're going to just
quickly go through these cognitive and emotional consequences of you
know, the sexualization objectification undermines a
girl's confidence and it also causes problems emotionally right
and self image problems by increasing shame and anxiety.
mental and physical health consequences. We have eating
disorders, low self esteem, depression, depressed mood, and
then as well as negative consequences to sexual
development, right that they can't develop a healthy sexual self
image. So really important content, I know it was a lot, but
there's still a little bit more to go, so bear with me. But these
terms, we have to know we have to teach our children and at
appropriate level so that they're aware of what they are and how to
define them. What is sexualization, right, it's the act
of in dealing with sexual characteristics or of excessively
emphasizing those characteristics in the real world. And then here,
the APA says that sexualization occurs when any of these four
aspects occur one, a person's value derived solely from sexual
behavior, * appeal, including any other characteristics. So when
you have, again, women being told that they have to look a certain
way, they have to dress a certain way, because that's all that they
have to offer that is sexualization. A person is held to
a narrowly defined standard that equates physical attraction and
attractiveness with being sexy. So again, it's all it's so important
to know these definitions. And then a person is objectified.
Because they're valued only for others sexual use, right and how
many broken hearts do we have of young girls who are taught that
unless they perform unless they do certain things, they're of no
value? This is the peer pressure of this modern age, right our age,
some of us who are in the Gen X or older was maybe drugs, maybe you
know, doing something rebellious. Now it's you need to prove your
whether or not you're you're, you know, sexually available is where
you get your worth from. And if you're not doing those things,
you're not considered worthy of the biller. So clearly, all of
these things are happening. And then sexual objectified.
objectification is the reduction of a woman to her body, body parts
or sexual function. In other words, we have nothing else to
offer. And this is, again, everywhere you see this, and it's
a form of oppression, right? To be treated as a body or a collection
of body parts, were only valued again for our use of or
consumption by others. So forget, you know, our, our needs, as long
as we're, you know, pleasing other people. That's all that matters.
And this is detrimental to a person's what self concept of
humanity. So when you have this message enough, you start to
forget your humanity, you forget the other aspects of yourself. And
this is why we have a crisis that we have with so many young girls
in this society.
And then the word desire, we're going to go back to this point
what is being desired really means for women, look at the keywords in
the definitions of desire as a verb, a noun and then desirable as
an adjective. I just pulled out some of the key words, is this
what we want for our young girls? This is what we see ourselves that
we are craving and want to be anybody's craving? No, thank you,
that all we are is an object, right? And we're our only purpose
is to bring about lust and desire. This is what that word desire and
being desirable in this society means right? So then how can we
understand and define desire in a healthy way? So let's take back
and reclaim what what healthy desire is, because this is a toxic
message, and none of us need to ascribe to it. Of course, we don't
need to look any further than aren't the simple, and that's the
presentation is over. No, I'm kidding.
But all the answers and hamdulillah are ener D. The
Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam reminds us, verily, Allah
does not look at your appearance or wealth, but rather he looks at
your hearts and actions. This was for all men and women. Stop hyper
focusing on your external.
It is about the inward inward beautification. Verily, among what
I fear most, for you are seductive, temptations in your
stomachs and passions, and the misguidance of whims. So he's
telling us he feared that we would fall into these things where our
whims and desires and lusts and the need to be desired by others
will preoccupy us. And if you fear that for us, we should fear that
for ourselves. Nearly every religion has a character and the
character of Islam is modesty. Love this Islam is modesty. This
isn't the domain of only women. This is the domain of every
believer. Very important message.
Women in Islam of course,
were honored right, the natural aspects of us are honored without
compromising the essential. It is possible to do that. What does
that mean? Our bodies and souls like that of men are created
primarily to worship their creator and the form of the woman women's
physical form in every aspect psychological, intellectual,
physiological, biological, emotional, sexual, is positively
acknowledged and recognized in Islam. Positively there are other
faith traditions that make negative associations with those
things and our deen they're all positively acknowledged and
recognized. Women's rights including sexual rights are
clearly stipulated
it and upheld in Islam, our existence and value in society is
indisputable. In Islam, it's not even a question of debate.
Our safety and security from all harm, all forms of external harm
must be guaranteed at every level of society.
The objective of every man and woman in Islam is the same to
worship their creator and live righteously and obedience to
Allah. Both men and women in Islam are taught to struggle against
their lower self than knifes. That part of us that pulls us into
desire right to suppress ideas, impulses and thoughts that lead to
elicit desires and actions. Both of us are told to control that
part of us right, both male and female sexuality and sexual desire
is viewed as natural, healthy, and something to be enjoyed when
explored within the boundaries of a lawful marriage between a
husband and wife. And both men and women in Islam must guard their
chastity and live according to the guidelines of Islam, which
strictly emphasizes modesty, inward action, dress, and behavior
for all.
This is so beautiful. Did you know that there is a verse in the Quran
that was revealed? Allah subhanaw taala has not forgotten this. He
never has. But this is so beautiful, right? That he's
defending a single woman from the inappropriate gaze of men through
this verse, right? This is Chapter 15, verse 24, we surely know who
comes first among you and we surely know who comes last. So
according to Evan abbess, he said that a woman was so beautiful, she
would come to the master to pray behind the Prophet sallallahu
alayhi wa sallam, she was very beautiful. Everybody acknowledged
her beauty. Some men because they had what Taqwa they had that fear
of Allah subhanaw taala, they would come and they would go to
the first row. So they wouldn't be
you know, look at her. Others, however, would come so that they
could be in the last row.
Why? So they would they would go into such that what would they do?
They would peek through Can you imagine? I'm sure we've all we all
those of us who have children, we've seen our, our children's
studies that right? Where it's not the the forehead is the top of the
head? Can you imagine grown men out of Allah, on the top of their
head, trying to get a peek at a sister because she's so beautiful.
And Allah subhanaw taala revealed this iron to defend her.
So we should all think about this, this he's telling us, right? He's
obviously teaching the men here, but also for us, as women, that we
shouldn't seek to be desired that way by anybody. We shouldn't seek
out other than our spouses, obviously. But we shouldn't seek
that to be looked at. Right? In that way, which is what this
society tells us to do. Be beautiful. Go out there and put
yourself out there. If you got it, flaunt it, we need to reject that.
No, if you have it, protect it. Not if you got it, flaunt it,
please.
Exactly, exactly. Michelle. Well, now because I have to credit so
the FedEx told me you got to put something in about this because
you know, you're gonna get some pushback. Of course,
beautification in Islam is important. It's not to say we
completely leave that and let ourselves go. No, it's highly
encouraged in Islam as a practice of what first and foremost
gratitude to Allah subhanaw taala for one's blessings, because the
body is a blessing. It is a blessing to have health and well
being. So you take care of it right? Maintaining cleanliness and
hygiene and then following the prophetic example. So here are all
these Hadith the prophet Isaiah and said Verily, Allah is
beautiful and he loves beauty. He loves the loftiest of affairs and
disapproves of pettiness as Dr. Madani beautifully reminded us let
go of the pettiness Allah does not love the pettiness right.
The Bravo's lies to them said that no one with an ounce of arrogance
in his heart walk into paradise now in seeking to understand
remember mashallah the Sahaba were always you know, they wanted
clarity. They asked about what what arrogance means and they
said, Oh prophet of Allah, what if a person likes to dress well?
Okay, so for those who are into fashion, don't miss read what I'm
talking about. He answered that question. Again. Allah is
beautiful, and he loves beauty. Arrogance is rejecting truth and
looking down on people. So when you put on your nice outfit and
your nice clothes, don't get ahead of yourself and start to think of
yourself as better than anyone. If Allah is giving you Jemelle you
have beauty, you have clear skin, don't look down on people who have
unclear skin right? This is the message that whatever, you know,
blessing you've been given, see it as a gift from Allah subhanaw
taala honor it, but also don't, you know, see yourself above
anyone because he could take it from you
Just as quickly as he gave it to you. And so that's what we when we
mentioned these things, but of course, we can dress nice. And we
can we should look presentable, right. And then cleanliness, we
should all be aware of these things. We should teach our
children from a young age to be mindful of keeping themselves
clean and pure, practicing good hygiene, making sure that all of
the areas that need to be taken care of before they come into
public spaces are taken care of. Right, so checking their smells, I
have two boys. One of them's in hitting the teenage years. As soon
as he steps out the door. My question you can ask him is, did
you put deodorant on? Did you put you know some what we call hush
boo. And for the other speakers, right, which is like a perfume or
cologne or something? Because I don't want them to. I want them to
follow the Sunnah and I don't want them to offend people. We should
teach us I can't tell you as someone who does coming of age
talks, I've had multiple requests from parents and teachers alike to
say please address this with the teens, because we're failing our
kids. We don't let them we're not doing a good job of this. It's a
very serious problem. I don't know why but some of our youth are just
not really taking care of their cleanliness. So we have to be on
top of them about these things to follow the sun and the province
has said that people Paradise will enter paradise with smooth and
hairless skin. So no more waxing and shaving ladies, we've got a
lot of things to look forward to.
Natural coho don't go get tattoos and all that don't do that. We'll
get the natural Chohan in our eyes and Jana Inshallah, that will be
the ripe age of 30 or 33 years of age in Charlotte, Avon Allah and
then the last one here, love this. Right this is from Ivanova as he
said Verily, I love to beautify myself for my wife. Just as I love
for her to be beautify herself for me, due to the sake of Allah
Almighty they have rights similar to those over them beautiful
balance of our deen both are responsible to take care of one
another. This is not just the burden of women to to kill
ourselves trying to look beautiful for our spouses while they let
themselves go. Are you know, we need to go back to this right.
And then of course real beautiful beautification is sourced from
Allah subhanaw taala and directed inwardly right, Allah's Prada says
Surely We have created the human being in the finest stature and
the prophesy centum says, this is his da, O Allah make what is
within me better than my outward appearance and make my outward
appearance righteous all I asked you for the righteousness of what
you give to the people of property, family and children
without being misguided or misguiding others. So that was his
dog, it should be our dog that we want our inward beauty to be
better than whatever outward beauty we have. Right? And he also
said, Allah, Allah loves to see the effects of His grace upon his
servant sallallahu alayhi wa sallam. He loves to see that when
he's given us blessings that we show them, but we show them with
what with refinement, dignity, gratitude, we don't show them with
boasting and arrogance. We don't mimic what we see in this toxic
culture that pits Women Against Women, where you will see a woman
entering a space and she just all her brand names are out and she
thinks she's above everyone else. We don't do that. If you have
blessings, of course, you can share them, show them but do it
with them that mindset, but this is my way of showing gratitude to
Allah subhanaw taala not arrogating myself and presenting
myself to people.
The province listen said gentleness is not in something
except that it adorns it. So that's an adornment that we need
to all know, to be gentle, to be soft to be kind in our words and
our actions. That's real beautification, right? No amount
of lip filler is going to, you know, make your lips beautiful. If
you have a toxic tongue. Right, you can go on inject all you want,
and get all the Botox you want.
But if you have, you know these character flaws, that's what we
need to work on. And then if no plan may Allah be pleased with him
said, and it is enough to realize Allah's beauty. When we know that
every internal and external beauty in this life, and the next are
created by him. So what of the beauty of their Creator
that's the beauty that we should seek.
Here are some Ayat for you if you wanted to screenshot these are,
these are all reminders for all of us, and is in other sciences that
he created for you from yourselves mates, that you may find
tranquility in them and you place between you affection and mercy,
indeed, in that are Signs of a people who give thought so this is
how we as women should again see ourselves right.
And then this is
Allah subhanaw taala. His
eye honored us in ways that I think some of us may not have yet
realized but in sha Allah. May Allah open our eyes to the fact
that he mentions us in this way right
separates us from the men. So that aim, I go back to that,
you know, the the now their mission that they wanted to bring
forth, or remind people of the humanity of women. Well here
what's more a proof than this right where I was part of the
Lord, the heaven of the heavens in the universe is telling us, right
who we are and what we should aspire to. So I love this idea,
but even Leslie Hazleton, she acknowledged that this is really
remarkable in that comparing it with the Bible, she said, the
Bible exclusively addresses men, right? Using the second and third
person masculine where's the Quran here, Allah's mother is addressing
women directly. So that is him, elevating us That is him honoring
us. And this is again what we should aspire to. So in summary,
sisters that I'm done, don't be seduced by the sinister and evil
propaganda of Western culture and media. That media manipulates
girls and women to ascribe to a distorted, dehumanized and
destructive understanding of themselves. Women in Islam are
honored for their entire being and not devalued for any part of our
creation or their creation. By over emphasizing beauty,
Beautification and sexuality, women may inadvertently deny their
more essential purpose, the beautification of the soul,
developing beautiful character and striving for the pleasure of Allah
and that worldly delights. And we must learn to nurture all of the
gifts and blessings, right our intellects, relationships,
talents, skills, interests, hobbies that Allah has given in
order to find true fulfillment not just focusing on the outward so
I'll leave you with this last slide. Remember, if anything's
missing in your life, look around in the environment and make those
changes and then inshallah you will come to bloom because Allah
subhanho data has given us all of the means to do so. It's in our
hands to change what needs to be changed and challenges that come
along with it. And I said, I want a conversion delay of what I get