Hosai Mojaddidi – Virtual Sisterhood Community Halaqa (Week 3)
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Smilla Rahmanir Rahim Al hamdu lillah wa salatu salam ala Shiva
MBI even more silly and say that a formal letter will have you been
on hematol Allahu alayhi wa sallam wa sahbihi wa salam, the steam and
Catherine, thank you for being here.
Everybody. It's been a week or since we last met. This is feeling
like a much
mashallah, I think it's been a month now that we've been in this
quarantine. And I was thinking today, because my family is really
are the only ones I've been interacting with, as most of us,
I'm sure are having the same experience. I felt like you know,
those times where you think about if you had your own private
island, how life would be. In many ways, that's what life has become
for I think a lot of us, were just seeing the same faces same
routine, it almost seems like, you know, the same,
you know, like that movie, Groundhog's Day where you just
wake up, and it's the same sort of situation every day. But
Hamdulillah, we are still in a state of gratitude to almost print
that out. Because we have each other we have homes, we have
Hamdulillah, ease and comfort, food, water, there's a lot to be
grateful for, despite the uncertainty that still surrounds
our global crisis. But in sha Allah, we have, again, a lot to be
grateful for. So I remember from last time, you know, I was
speaking and there were a lot of questions that were coming at the
end of the broadcast. And so I thought maybe we could flip things
around a little bit just because I don't want anybody to,
you know, leave here without having their questions answered.
And I don't like to rush. If someone is, you know, really
concerned about something, I want to be able to give it the time. So
I thought maybe we can start off and see, is there is anyone have a
question? Or anything that they that's on their mind, something
they want to be to address, this would be a good time in sha Allah
to type that out. And I can, you know, wait for just a few minutes
to see if there's any responses. And, you know, just throughout the
chat, if you can, you know, more if you feel comfortable. I see,
I'm used to zoom, there's all these different features, you
know, you can raise hands, there's a light that sort of flashes when
there's a question in the chat box. So we're a little limited on
YouTube Live. But I do like I said, I want to get to your
question. So feel free to use the chat box. And I don't mind if you
have to repeat your question. I certainly don't mind, especially
if things are moving quickly, it helps to look over and take notice
of that. So I'll try to be more mindful. But again, if there are
any questions, now would be a really good time.
So I'll give it a
couple or a minute or so let's see, I don't see anything yet. And
again, I'm not sure if there's like a bit of a delay. So that's
why I'd rather wait than just rush.
And give people time to think.
But um, you know, I've been talking, gosh, yesterday I did
three lives back to back to back, it was a pretty
stressful or just tiring day, mentally exhausting day. And I've
had a lot of these sessions hamdulillah ever since the
quarantine began, just so much to reflect on so much to think about.
And so I've been reading a lot on, you know, the different diseases
of the heart. And so I thought maybe we can, we can do, you know,
so we can start to kind of explore those different diseases and talk
about them, because that's really what we should be doing in this
time. Right? We have all this ample time. And it's, um, you
know, there's a, we should be doing some real deep inner, inner
digging in, in terms of our spiritual hearts and trying to
figure out what we need to rectify with ourselves. So sometimes it
helps to just hear about the different diseases and how they
manifest. And, you know, we know about, you know, books like
purification of the heart. Mmm, because it certainly has a lot to
share as well, about the diseases of the heart. There are many other
great scholars as well. So I have some books in front of me that
I've been reading from. And I thought for today's session, we
can talk about some one of the diseases of the heart that I think
we're all afflicted with, to a certain degree, and that it does
get in the way of so much of our spiritual growth.
And that disease is the heart is pride. Pride is something that
again,
We might have a specific idea about that disease or that word,
you know what that means. And we might not even associate some of
our own behavior with pride. But once you start really
understanding its meaning and the definitions of it, a lot of people
walk away, realizing, oh, boy, you know, I have this affliction. And
that's, that's good. Because, you know, denial is obviously a much
bigger problem. If you are afflicted with diseases, but you
can't even witness that you're afflicted with those diseases than
that. That's, that's a huge barrier to any growth. So if you
start to, you know, see yourself in the descriptions that we're
going to share in a few minutes, that's good. There's humility in
your heart and Shala, you're honest, you're truthful with
yourself, you're not completely oblivious to your own
shortcomings. And from there we can grow, you know, that's a place
of where we can grow from. So the book that I am reading from is a
chapter book from my mother was daddy's alchemy of happiness,
here's the book.
It's just he has these different chapters on different diseases. So
this one in particular, is talking about pride.
And so this disease, again, there's so much to cover some
highlights, like, where do I begin, but he does, you know, have
a really interesting way of, of organizing
the chapter on Pride and conceit. And so I'm going to talk first
about
what he, I'm going to get into what he says, are the degrees of
pride so that we understand how pride manifests. Because, you
know, again, sometimes we only think of it as arrogance, but
there are different ways that pride can come through. So the
problem is, is that I once was asked to what is pride? So let's
first define it what is pride? He replied, and this is again, the
words of the prophets. I said, and he replied, That one does not
submit to God, and one looks upon people with contempt. So these two
traits, right, you don't submit to Allah subhanaw taala. And you also
look at people with this sense of just disgust, contempt, hatred,
you know, that can manifest in so many different ways. And so that's
those are the two primary traits that a person who's afflicted with
pride has from so these two traits are heavy veils between one and
God most high from them, all unseemly traits of character are
born, and one remains deprived of all good traits. Whoever is
conquered by Lordship, self love, and self importance, cannot
approve of that which he approves up for himself, for the Muslims.
And this is not the way of the believers, they cannot be humble,
he cannot be humble with himself with another. And this is not the
attribute of the pious, he cannot restrain his animus and envy, he
cannot swallow his anger. He cannot withhold his tongue from
backbiting, nor can he cleanse his heart from deceit and spite for
his heart is seized by hatred for anyone who does not bow to him. So
again, you're not able to put Allah subhanaw taala first, right
because when we say to submit to God, it's to recognize that in
every situation, you have to do that which pleases Allah subhanho
So if there's a resistance to doing that, then the person is
afflicted with pride and an example would be you know, when
let's say you have an argument with someone and even if you're in
the right, okay, even if you're in the right or you're in the wrong
whichever the case may be, the one who is this this disease has taken
hold of them is able to eventually or maybe in the moment, stop him
or herself from continuing the argument and realizing like I you
know, we should stop this this is wrong for the sake of Allah. I,
I'm sorry. And they'll try to instantly fix the situation before
it gets worse. Because they recognize that even though you
know, they they have you know, the they're on in terms of the
argument they have, they feel that they're justified in and they want
to keep pushing maybe they're enough so does something clicks
and they realize right away that almost pada is maybe displeased
with me or my the person I'm arguing with
could be anybody. And I don't want to incur His wrath or his anger.
Therefore I need to, you know, suppress my naps for the sake of
Allah subhana, WA Tada. And so they can kind of, you know, again,
snap themselves out of that, and humble themselves for the sake of
Allah and go and try to fix the situation. So again, if you're, if
you don't, if you're not afflicted with pride that will come to you,
and it might not come to you right then and there. You know,
sometimes people and it's all based on your temperament,
sometimes you might need some time to process what just happened,
let's say, for example, this was a marital argument, you know,
between a husband and spouse or a wife.
In that situation, if you know, tensions are high, there could be
voices raised, maybe really deep wounding, words exchanged, and so
the novices hurt, right. And you might, you know, leave the room
slamming doors, and everybody's in their own separate, you know,
areas of the house, and you're just sort of brewing because of
just what happened
to it could go a couple of different ways, right. Shavon
could be right there with you, which he likely is, in most of our
cases, to further insight you right to build you up even more,
and increase your anger for your spouse, so that you have not just
anger but you know, deep resentment, hatred, animosity, you
may even all the black, say things you regret or feel things you
regret in your heart, because your neffs is so inflamed in that
moment. And so come down from that state by picking up the phone,
let's say, and calling a relative or a friend that they're close to,
because they're so angry, they're so hurt, they need to vent and I
know, several people, that's sort of how their processes, they're
just, they need to let it out to someone else, they need a sounding
soundboard to just again, I can't believe what just happened, he's
such a jerk, or she's this or she's that. And so we vent and we
allow the other person and hopefully either, you know, their
their good counsel, and they, they they're able to really bring you
down from that state without causing additional harm to your
marriage, by you know, inciting you further, or they may incite
you further. Again, we have to be very careful about who we turn to
in those situations. If that's not you, if you're not the type of
person that brings people into your relationship or vents to
people right in the moment, then you might need to self soothe, and
sort of come down from that state. And this is where paying attention
to your thoughts is really important. Because as Muslims, we
know that Allah subhanaw taala, in witnessing these types of
exchanges, these are moments of
the test right, we can either gain His pleasure or gain his
displeasure. And that's the frame of mind, we should have in every
situation of our lives, every thing that we're presented with
every opportunity, it's an opportunity to either please Allah
subhanaw taala, or displeased almost past that. So when you're
in that space, you're in the bedroom, and you just had this
argument. This is where you have to use your executive functions,
you know, that part of your brain that is responsible for good
decision making, let that part of you kick in, because the emotional
side of you, is a part of you, you know, you can't necessarily
suppress your feelings, but you also want to have sort of, you
know, like a protocol, right? That when these things happen, this is
what I'm going to do. And so what you do is you sit and you think
about, well, I can sit here and continue to brew and all of this
resentment and anger, feel very justified in my position. And let
shaitan cause more harm to me, my heart, my spiritual heart, my
relationship, my connection with Allah subhanaw taala, possibly my
children if I have children, and what do I get from that? What do
you get when you do that? If you really are honest about it, what
does it offer you other than a puffed up ego? Right? That's the
only thing you're gaining when you are in a situation where you've
just, you know, will you choose to stand your ground to you know,
have a tight lip and just walk around with your heart really full
and you're puffed up? And you're thinking that? Well, I'm not going
to apologize, I wasn't wrong, you know, she was wrong or he was
wrong. And you're just going to carry yourself you know, in that
heightened state, what are you displaying other than pride? Think
about it. And again, the actual issues that were raised, we're not
talking about that we're talking about you as a person. What are
you displaying to Allah subhanaw taala when you do something like
that, when
You choose to react in that way, all you're doing is saying, Allah,
I know what you want from me because I've read the books I've
heard the HUD was I've heard the sermons, I've heard the talks, I
know that when you know a spouse to our fight or you know, two
spouses are fighting with each other, that shaitan is causing,
you know them to do that. And there's nothing that pleases
shaytaan more than causing, you know, divisiveness or fighting
between a husband and wife. I know all these things rationally. But I
can't submit to you right now, because it feels so much better to
stand my ground and to keep, you know, my position, and to refuse
to even look at my spouse, I'm not going to engage with him or her
until he apologize if she apologizes. And you just, you
know, continue carrying on that way. And it can go on for some
people days, I've heard weeks, I've heard months, where couples
have no engagement, they do not talk to each other. And the core
reason is pride. It's the fact that a person, despite the
situation, and again, because sometimes you know, when he hears
something like this, you want to immediately justify your actions
and say, Well, wait a second, he was wrong, she was wrong. And you
want to immediately get to the defense part, we're not talking
about the actual issue at hand, we're talking about the way that
you react to those situations. And the decision, you choose to either
submit to Allah subhanaw taala in his pleasure, or submit to your
own ego. And this is a reflection of pride. And all of us, I'm
pretty certain if you're, you know, living in this day and age,
we have all been in that situation, at one point in our
lives, or another or hundreds of times uncertain. Where we, again,
knew what to do, right, we knew what the appropriate course of
action was in terms of the pleasure of all those paths. But
something pushed us to, to hold our ground and, and to continue
our stance and not submit. And that's likely pretty pretty
obviously, it's pride. So that's why it's so important to pay
attention to this particular disease of the heart, because as I
said, it affects so many areas of our lives and affects our
relationships. But primarily, it affects spiritual growth. It's
like stunting yourself, if you don't remove this disease of the
heart, I mean, all of the diseases of the heart really, this is what
the skip that nuff says it's the desire to or the, you know, the
process of purification. But there are certain ones that really do,
you know, stand in your way of, of growth of seeing everything else,
because imagine,
if you're full of pride, right, and you always feel right, you
always feel justified in your position, and it's hard for you to
accept another person's, you know, stance on whatever, it's likely
that you don't apologize when you're wrong, you know, it's
likely that it's hard for you to take criticism, right? So how can
a person then see there are other flaws if you are blind to ever,
you know, to the idea of even ever being wrong, or you usually feel
that you are right, and that you have to, you know, like I said,
there's this refusal to submit, even if you're wrong, then it's
likely that you don't see any of your other flaws. So this is why
pride is such a really toxic disease of the heart because it
prevents you from even seeing other diseases that you may have,
which you likely have. So once we work on trying to humble the you
know the soul and really realizing that this is a deep affliction,
and there's ways to you know, Inshallah, remove it from the
heart, then it opens the possibility for the person to
really start to work on the rest of the process of the Skia which
is okay, I definitely have pride I'm, I likely have all the other
diseases, let me now go through each of them and start to you
know, work on myself. But if you don't even remove pride or start
from somewhere, it's hard, like I said, to, to even do the rest. So
pride really does.
It's a big barrier to spiritual growth, which is why it's so
important to address. So a model is that he talks about the degrees
of pride. And he says here, know that some kinds of pride are more
flagrant and greater than others. The differences arise from the
fact that arrogance has three aspects, okay, with respect to God
Most High. So the first type of pride is you have pride with
Allah. The Prophet was set up
And then people. So we're gonna go through each of these. So the
first degree is arrogance with respect to Allah subhanaw taala.
And this, of course, we saw, we understand this from stories that
we've heard, for example, who was the first, you know, story that we
understand pride with Allah subhanaw taala. It's in place, of
course.
So clearly, for some people,
of course, you know, in our day and age, pride, with all those
products, or you see it everywhere, people who deny the
existence of God, or who kind of speak about Allah Subhan Allah in
a way that is just completely lacking in any other bright,
there's just no decency in the way that they even speak about God,
you know, or they, they're just quick to,
to make light of Allah subhana those commands, for example,
right? You cannot, you know,
ever in our faith or, you know, play with play with the dean in
terms of, you know, distorting or watering down or changing things
to basically fit your own whims and desires. But a lot of people
this is, unfortunately, what they do, they just think that they can
interpret for themselves the commands of Allah, or, you know,
again, speak about them as if they're light, they're not really
heavy things. And so this would be someone who's completely arrogant,
and they have these afflictions and they have arrogance for the
most part that the second degree is arrogance with respect to the
prophesy centum. So, you know, many are in the in the time of the
Prophet was seven, there was much display of this, because why the
Quraysh many of the crash couldn't accept the fact that the province
was sort of being who he was coming from the family that he
came from having the background that he did the the fact that he
was an orphan, you know, they they were very just arrogant people. So
they look down on certain qualities that he had. And this
was, again, one of the ways that they displayed their arrogance
with the prophets. I said, I'm so that's, you know, a more
historical reference nowadays is the same as what I mentioned with
regards to the last part that people who speak about the
prophets I said, I'm again, without knowledge, they take
lightly His commands, they, they, they just don't they refuse to, to
do, you know, to follow certain seminars, because they think like,
oh, it's not that important. They'll make comments like that.
This is complete arrogance and haram, you cannot, in any way,
speak about Alaska or the province. I said, I'm in that way.
But a lot of people who are Muslim, we're not talking about
people who are not Muslim, talking about people who maybe their level
of practice isn't very high, they still consider themselves Muslim,
but they feel that they can choose kind of cherry pick what to take.
And they make a lot of, you know, statements that reflect a sense of
some arrogance and keep it in their heart, because it's as if
they know better, right, they'll, you know, look at certain ihas or
Hadith and go, Oh, I don't know about that. And they'll kind of
talk about it as though their interpretation is more superior.
This is nothing short of arrogance. So these are the first
two degrees of pride and we can see it again everywhere. And
clearly a person who has pride with a lot or the prophesy said
I'm isn't going to get very far in terms of spiritual, you know,
growth. So for them, May Allah guide them. And we know I'm sure a
lot of us have family members or people that we know, who we can
think of when we, when we think about this, and you'll see, you'll
see them as the month of Ramadan comes around. Oftentimes, that's
usually when there's more debates and more, you know,
more just sort of discussion about religion, because it's such a
sacred time and people, you know, want to be able to do what they
want to do. So they just kind of like to, like I said, defend their
choices and positions if they're not fasting, or if they're doing
certain things that are impermissible. So you'll see these
types of people sort of manifest around these around this time of
year. But the third degree, is the one again, who is arrogant with
the servants of Allah subhanaw taala. And these are people who
just again, as the description, you know, he mentioned earlier,
they have contempt for other people, they basically look down
on other people. And this can be for a variety of reasons it can be
because I'm more educated, I'm more learned, I come from a
higher, you know, family class or, you know, background or my
cultural, tribal sort of mentalities that we see everywhere
now, where some people just think that they're more superior because
of their cultural background. So
The source of why a person would be prideful towards another
person, oh, there are a myriad of different reasons. But the point
is, is anytime you or feel something that makes you feel
superior to another person or another group of people, right, it
might be a cultural thing. You know, there's people even within
the same country, because of, you know, their the language that they
speak or the dialect or the skin color Subhanallah we have a really
distorted you know, ideas, unfortunately about, about a lot
of things in our cultures, but specifically, you know, when it
comes to superiority and inferiority, we tie things to, you
know, terms of, you know, who's what's better, or what's more
superior, a lot of it's very superficial, you know, the way
that a person appears their skin color,
or like I said, you know, the language that they speak the day
like are educated there. So all of these things can be a reason for
someone to think of themselves as better than another person.
And so let me see here.
So here he says that this third degree, right, that one is haughty
or arrogant with the servants of Allah Spinetta, even though it's
lower, right, and the first two, I mean, the first two are clearly
grave deep sense to have pride with Allah and the prophesy
centum. It's still important. And he says this because of two
reasons. The first is that greatness itself is an attribute
of Allah subhanaw taala. A weak helpless man has nothing of his
affair in his own hands. So where does greatness come from that a
person dare consider himself its possessor. If he thinks himself
great. He contends with God most high in his attributes, that's a
really important point to reflect on. Anytime you think yourself
superior. It's like you're taking on this quality that really
belongs only to Allah subhanaw taala. He's the only one that is
great. And so if you consider yourself better or superior, than
as it says, You're contending with Allah subhanho data. And he goes
on to say he is like the captive who places a royal crown upon his
head, and sits upon the throne. Look at how deserving of loathing
and punishment he becomes. So it's an imposter, right? You're not
real you're you're there's nothing great about you, but you act as
though you're great.
And I was proud that it says here he says, greatness and majesty are
my special attributes, I shall destroy whoever vies with me in
them. So since pride over his servants is not fitting for anyone
except for Allah's patho. If one of his servants is overbearing to
him, he will have competed with him just as when someone commands
the personal captives of the king, which is not proper for anyone
other than the king. So you know, just some, some deep things to
think about that any time again, we consider ourselves better to
another person, we have to be very careful, because pride with the
last part that our pride with the prophesy centum and the pride with
people. Now, the causes of pride, this is also important, that we
understand, like, how does pride emerge? Right. So I kind of talked
about that briefly on that third point, but let's explore some
specific reasons why people become prideful. Okay. So again, imamo,
as I talks about, the first is that a person has pride because of
their knowledge. So this is specifically he goes on his
describes a lot about people of knowledge, right? So you have you
went abroad and studied, maybe traditional knowledge, you know,
for years and you've mastered certain sciences, you have your
Ejaz that you memorize texts, and you, you know, you come back and
you may, again, look at other people who have less knowledge or
less awareness as you as being just less than one. So this is
clearly, you know, a disease of the heart. But it's not just
religious knowledge. That's the other thing that's important to
note here, a person of knowledge that can apply in any discipline,
right? So if you have,
you know, let's say you are in the field of medicine, or you're in
the field of any of the sciences, or you're just good at a
particular skill set, you have really strong skill set in an area
If you pay attention to your heart, and you do look down on
people who can't maybe follow along with you, when you're
talking about certain things, or, you know, they're,
you just feel that their knowledge of certain matters is deficient.
And it makes you feel again, just like, oh God, here we go again,
you know, these, these people don't know what they're talking
about. And there's a sort of, again, feeling of, of superiority
than that. It's not just religious knowledge we're talking about it
could be in anything, right. So we have to pay attention to our
thoughts. And that's why when you're in social settings, you
have to see, like, if you're at a dinner party, or you're at the
masjid, and you're, you know, with people with groups of people, pay
attention to what your thoughts are telling you, right? Because it
will reveal to you whether or not you have pride, especially about
this particular thing, if you're in conversation, right with
people, and you have to maybe it's a little bit harder to, to
dialogue, some people or you know, versus others, and you start
feeling frustrated, or start feeling again,
just looking down on people, then clearly that's a source of pride,
right, and you have to check yourself. Because just with, as
with anything,
whenever almost Pont that blesses us with particular skills or
gifts,
we have to recognize that regardless of our, you know,
whatever we are contributions or whatever we've done, let's say,
you know, you went to school, you're the one who studied you
spent every single night you know, working hard to gain mastery of
whatever knowledge you you have, we believe that all of it is from
Allah subhanaw taala. So we don't attribute those things to
ourselves. And this is where you have to prevent yourself from
thinking that the reason why you are intelligent or you have you
know, a special you know, specialty or an expertise in a
particular subject or area, that you don't let yourself get
arrogant to think that it came from you, you know, that you're
necessarily special. It's, it's all from almost Ponta. And so the
way to prevent this pride, this type of pride from settling in, is
to recognize that almost kind of take it away at any minute.
Alright, so even if, let's say you took years, you know, getting your
degrees and your titles, years of hard work, you know, we and
everybody knows that if you continue to show pride about your
knowledge, all the blind May Allah forgive us.
Let's see here
I mean, there's so many Hadith that warn about again, you know,
people who claim to be more knowledgeable over other people,
and who kind of carry themselves that way. One in particular here
and Hadith of an abbess, may God be pleased with him, he relates
that the messenger of allah sallallahu sallam said, there are
people who recite the Quran, and it does not pass their throats.
They say who reads the Quran as we do and knows what we know. Then he
looked at the companions and said, they may be from among you and my
people, and they will all be firewood in health. I mean, that
is a very clear warning from the prophesy Saddam, that if all this
has given you the book, you know, the knowledge of the of his book,
and you're even you have a beautiful recitation, for example,
where you're a half of or, you know, you've just learned in one
way or another. If you ever have these thoughts, you know that
you're again better. I mean, look at this very clear warning that
all the biller,
you'll be from the firewood and help me God, again, protect us
from that inshallah.
And then I'm under the law and said, Do not be among the tyrants
of the learned. For then your knowledge will not be faithful to
your ignorance. And God most high commanded the prophesy said and to
be humble and said, lower thy wing in kindness for those who follow
the so even here was part that is telling the prophesies that um,
and we know that he, you know, he was the most intelligent of all of
all this, this creation, gave him knowledge of so many things. But
alas, Panda is telling him to be humble, right. So, again, we have
to come back on ourselves and say we haven't we're nowhere near his
level. None of us no matter how successful we think we are, we are
we assumed to be if if almost probably
is telling his beloved to be humble, then who are we to walk
around puffed up thinking that we're anything right?
The second cause of pride is worship, right? That a person may
think that one themselves superior because of their level of worship.
So it's similar because if you look at your, you know, practice
of Islam, again, as a, as you know, this as a part as a part of
your identity that you then use to judge other people. This is all
pride and self righteousness and arrogance. And a lot of people who
are who outwardly practice this is a definitely a problem. And I've
heard this, over the years, many times of people feeling judged by
other people, because they didn't necessarily practice the same way,
right? How many women, for example, have felt judged, because
maybe not, their hijab doesn't necessarily fit a particular type
of definition, that that someone may think hijab should fit. And so
they feel judged by that person, or if they don't wear hijab at all
right, and they're coming into a space of women where they wear
hijab, then they may feel judged as though you know, that they're,
they're not good enough to be even in that, that circle. So a lot of
times, people who outwardly practice their religion, this is
an affliction that can get them that they think, Well, I've, you
know, I pray my prayers, I've been to Hajj many times, or I do you
know, I wear a hijab or I have a beard, I walk around, you know,
you know, ritually, I, my practice is basically
obvious. And so if you don't check your heart, and make sure that
your inner reality matches your outer reality, then this is a
clear inroad for shaitan, to afflict you with pride, because
you start to just look at other people, you know, and think that
you're better. And I remember when I first came to Islam, you know, I
came many years ago, and the,
the message that I got was very similar. And in terms of, you
know, great emphasis on the outward practice, we didn't really
learn about the diseases of the heart, it was a time where
everybody was really concerned about how you dressed, whether or
not you use a lot of Arabic terminology. So you had to, like
speak a certain way, you had to look a certain way, dressed a
certain way. And if you didn't even pray a certain way, if you
didn't, do you know, certain things, according to whoever's
definition of what was religiously sound, then you were considered,
you know, misguided, and that you needed, you know, you were you
were wrong, and you and people would kind of talk to you that
way. And so I fell into that as well. And, you know, those who are
close to me know, I became sort of like the religious police in a
way, I was very, you know, focused on the way people did things and
how they spoke, you know, always checking the words that people
would say, or even their prayers, you know, how are they standing in
prayer? Are they moving their finger this way or that way? Or
wear their pants position? It's just, I mean, it sounds, you know,
ridiculous now, because so much focus on what other people are
doing, like, why are you Why do you care about what other people
are doing? I mean, if they're obviously in need of counsel and
see her, we should be, we should be concerned. But to have a
preoccupation, right, is what we're talking about. And this is
what this type of pride does, it makes you so preoccupied with
other people, because you're constantly comparing yourself to
them. You feel really good about your level of practice. You know,
I've, you know, I've heard, you know, from people who've, who've
been in those situations where they say, Yeah, you know, I walk
into a space and let's say, the mosh pit, for example, many
swallow people have had really, unfortunately, negative
experiences
in the house of Allah, and that's on us. And that's why you see a
lot of people not wanting to come to the masjid because they have
felt very judged by those who kind of, you know, they run the show
there, or they act like they're running the show, and they'll tell
people, you know, don't do this and don't do that. And why are you
wearing this nail polish? For example? I mean, I'm sure some of
the sisters who are of my generation remember before they
created all these Halal nail polish versions, oh my gosh, if
you came to the masjid wearing nail polish, you were likely going
to get an earful from someone or at least multiple people, right?
Or if you had a little bit of hair showing, or if you were wearing
you know, pants instead
Have a skirt. So there are those people who they pride themselves
on the way that they carry themselves with their level of
practice. And they like to make other people feel deficient. And
you know, they'll say certain things, and it's not done in the
way that it should be done. Because to give them this see how
is it's really something, it's an Amana, you want to be very
careful, because it's, first of all, your intention should be
pure. When you're giving a car to someone, it truly shouldn't be for
their betterment. It's not about you. But if you take joy in
correcting someone, right, if it makes you feel good to point
someone's mistakes out,
and you'd like to kind of, you know, even embarrassed them a
little bit all the biller, you have, you've got a lot of work to
do on yourself, because there should be no enjoyment and in
trying to correct someone, and it should, and if you have to do it,
or you feel compelled to do it, because you care about someone
than it should be done with privacy and delicacy. Like you
should be really delicate and how we say things. But some people no
regard for who's standing around who's walking? No, no, no sister,
don't do that. And Brother, don't do that. And it's like they,
they're just, you know, like I said that, like the religious
police self appointed religious police. But they do it in a way
where there's no hikma, there's no tact, there's no consideration for
the person state, what if they're, they, they know, but maybe they're
just, they're having a difficult day or their mind is distracted
somewhere else, we have to be gentle with people, we have to
give reminders gently. But again, people who are afflicted with this
particular type of pride, they see themselves in a position of
authority of superiority, because they feel that Well, I, you know,
know better, because I my practice is pure, or I've been, you know, I
practice better than, than other people, this is the kind of self
talk that fills them. So that's why they didn't even think about
the impact that their words may have on another person's state or
heart and they just can be very, you know, like a loose cannon. And
I've seen people literally leave the message in tears, because
someone spoke to them harshly. And their excuse was, they were just
trying to, you know, advise them all the better. So we have a lot
of work to do in terms of how we deal with that. But this is, you
know, another reason why people are afflicted with pride is that
they assume that the outward practice,
you know, gives them a, you know, a feeling of superiority, or are
they they assume that about themselves that just because, you
know, I do things a certain way, or I've been doing it longer than
other people, then this is,
then I'm permitted to correct people. Another source or cause of
pride is ancestry. And so in some cultures, you'll see this a lot,
right, people who come from noble families, or you know, religious
families, in particular, will definitely see themselves in a
more, you know, privileged position. And they will,
unfortunately, look down on people. We know, in some cultures,
can there's caste systems that are still existent today. And so it
can, you know, again, based on which back or cultural background,
we have this, you know, kind of manifests in different ways. But
we have to, again, think about the fact that
we had no control over which family we were born into. And
that's why those things, you know, in the grand scheme of things,
they're irrelevant, right? It doesn't matter what cultural
background or family one comes from. All that matters in the
sight of all those paths. And what separates those who are close to
us panda and those who aren't,
is always one's heart and you know, the beauty of a person. It
has nothing to do with any other quality that we have, whether it's
our again, knowledge, education, socio economic background, family,
all those other factors are irrelevant when it comes to all
those Pantha. All he cares about is the soundness of our heart, the
sincerity of our heart. So when a person puffs themselves up,
because oh, I can't came from this family, and I'm better than other
people because of that. Again, it's ignorance. It's pure 100%
ignorance.
And here is a Hadith and sin exchange. Two men were boasting in
the presence of the Prophet sallallahu sallam. One of them
said, I am the son of so and so.
The son of so and so so he's, you know, talking about his lineage
and he turns to
This man says who are you? Like Yanni? Who are you right to talk
to me that way. And the province I sent him said, now he's talking to
both of them. He says two persons flaunted themselves before Musa
either he said am one said, I am the son of so and so the son of
songs. So basically exactly what this man just said. And he
enumerated his great ancestors to the ninth generation. So that's
how far back he took this right like I'm so important. So right
then in there Subhanallah, almost patata revealed to Musashi said on
through Angel Jibreel. It revealed he said, say to him, that all nine
of them all those people who just mentioned are in *, and you
will be the 10th of them.
Oh, the biller? And then the prophesy centum said, cease
boasting Stop boasting about people who have become charcoal in
*. If not, you will be lower than the Beatles who seeing a
person's feces, smell and taste them. Right. So I think those are
the dung beetles that he's referring to all the biller. So
here's the process, I'm saying that a person who boasts about
their lineage, this is the response to that. Yeah, the biller
right, but how many people in our cultures or our community, excuse
me,
do that they kind of like to, you know, be brag about their family,
and where they came from. And it might not necessarily be in in
public settings, it can be within the family, you know, they feel
that they're more entitled to certain things because they have a
pure, you know, line of ancestry or whatever it can get really
petty. But this is the perfect story, right to tell them all the
biller. And so this is two prophets, right, we're talking
about the prophesy Sonam and Sedna Musa giving the same message. So
it's very powerful.
The fourth cause of pride is beauty.
And this is a really important one because it's everywhere now.
Right? We see in our very, very shallow world.
All the biller where everything is much more visual, right? We're all
kind of in this fishbowl world now, where the more beautiful you
are, and again, the definition of beauty is very narrow, right?
There's, it's defined by who by people in certain industries, who,
who, who then dictate to the masses, what what is beautiful,
and it changes based on time and even place, right? For example,
like here in the US, the standard of beauty is different than other
parts of the world and South America and Europe and Africa,
there's going to be different standards of beauty, but then
there are some sort of universals. But the point is, is, you know, if
you have pride, because almost pride that has given you, beauty,
and you feel that you are better because of that, you know, that
you can, sort of
you have vanity, you have an arrogance in this in the, in the
way that you treat other people. This is again, something you have
to be very careful of, and I know some pretty
scary stories of people who allow their vanity and their pride in
terms of their physical attributes to get ahead of them because they
would speak ill of other people who didn't, who you know, who
weren't blessed with the same or qualities or, or beauty. And so
they would speak about people, you know, ridiculing people, and
that's why we have to be very, very careful. And you see it
everywhere. Now. There's a lot of mockery. When it comes to these
things. People think that they can make fun of other people because
based on many things, whether it's skin color, nose shape, eye shape,
body type, right, there's a lot of ridiculing when it comes to the
physical, you know, a nature of a person. And this is all based on
this. It's vanity. It's pride, it's arrogance, it's people who,
again, because they may fit a certain mold or definition of
beauty. They have a large presence. They're very active in
the gym, and they have these, you know, cut ripped sort of physics,
because they're disciplined, you know, and they, they spend a lot
of hours we're talking some more, sometimes six to eight hours a day
in the gym, and they have very regimented diets. But when you see
those people talking about people who don't look like them, there's
always a level of arrogance and pride. Because the way that they
speak about people, oh, they're lazy, and they'll just kind of get
very dismissive that a person
Who doesn't basically go to the gym and workout and who's not on a
diet plan, that's the only explanation is that they are, you
know, they're just not as good as me because I take care of myself,
I'm so healthy, I've got it, you know, I look great, I'm in shape.
And so they don't realize that a lot of their self view is rooted
in this disease of the heart, because who is the one that gave
you the abilities to do what you do? Right, it's almost part that
gave us strength, he gave us your health. And so and also time, I
mean, if you have the time, and the luxury to go to a gym six to
eight hours a day,
or you have a home gym, or whatever, and you're, you know, or
the financial means to have some of these people, a personal chefs,
for example, or, you know, they, they just have a very specific
lifestyle in terms of their food, but it's an expensive one, because
they're eating all organic and fresh, cooked meals, and what have
you, that takes a certain amount of privilege, not everybody can do
that. There's a lot of people throughout the world, who would
love to be healthy, and to look, you know, great, but they have to
work, you know, sometimes 6080 hours a week, and they are rushing
from this thing to another thing, so it's not as easy for them. So I
think the point is, is they're mistaking, you know, the fact that
they have all these privileges that allow them to live a certain
lifestyle, which leads to them having a certain look or physique
about themselves, as though they are just self made, and thus
superior than other people. So these are the types of messages
that we get a lot in our modern society around, you know, beauty,
and it's rooted in this, in this particular disease of pride. So,
and you can also see this on Instagram with a lot of these
beauty influencers, you know, there's just, it's, you have to
pick up on the way that they speak and you know, the way that they
display their lives. There, it's like they're missing completely
the privileges that they have. And if you don't have awareness of the
advantages that Allah's Prophet has given you, and the fact that
he, it's all from him that you're able to do, whatever you do, and
live however you live, then you start attributing those things to
yourself. And that's how pride takes hold, right, you start you
forget, the source of all good is almost plant data, and you start
thinking you had something to do with it. And then that pride
increases, so that you start looking at people with contempt as
though they're lower than you. And then of course, you start treating
people that way. So it really opens it's like, the door to a lot
of other diseases of the heart. It's why it's so dangerous.
The fifth pride, and there's just three more in the or, excuse me,
yeah, three more, the fifth pride cause of pride as wealth. So
again, similar, you know, this is
something almost father blesses some people with and he, you know,
he gives to some more than others. So, if you've been raised with
privileges in terms of your, you know, you know, socio economic
background, maybe you were raised in wealth you have come from a
wealthy family, or you worked hard, and you have a great
position that allows you to did really anything to deserve them.
Or, you know, turn them, they're 100%, from ALLAH SubhanA with
that, and he can take it away, as quickly or as, you know, whatever
he wants to just as he gave it to you. And so having that
realization that do not let your lifestyle and the way that you
carry yourself get ahead of you, where you start to look down at
people, you start to treat people differently based on whether or
not they measure up, you know, if you're the type of person who for
example, you wear a certain brand name, or you'd like brand name
clothing 100 allow, you know, there's nothing wrong with
appreciating quality, you know, and spending on good things as
long as you are using them responsibly. But if you're the
type of person that may see someone that's dressed maybe not
as nicely or as wearing clothing that looks a little disheveled and
immediately you think that they're dirty or unkempt and you have a
sense of, you know, wanting to distance yourself from that
person. You have to be very careful. This is clearly a disease
of the heart because you have allowed your again, your status
your your sense of who you are based on your your wealth and your
your presentation to make you feel superior to other people. And
you're forgetting that Allah's Prophet is the one who gives who
gives them
He withholds. And if he's given you something above other people,
it's to test you and to, you know, to make it to see if you're going
to use that responsibly, and that you'll still have the humility
that you should have, and, and give the, you know, credit back to
him and be grateful in a state of gratitude to him. Or if you abuse
your power, if you abuse your if you're, you know, if you don't do
good with your wealth, so it's all a test, wealth, beauty, all these
things are a test that also that gives us to see how we, you know,
use this particular gift or blessing. And so if you begin to,
again, look down on people, because they're not to your level,
then of course, this is clearly a sign you have pride,
the sixth cause of pride is power over the weak. So this would be
for anybody who has, you know, position of power. And this can be
you know, in a professional setting or in personal
relationships, we have to be very careful if we are empowered in any
of our relationships, and we have to know that oh spa, that is well
aware of our hearts, and he knows when we are overstepping and
taking advantage of our positions, you know, Miss abusing our powers.
So, you know, be very careful. And this can again, be in personal
relationships. For example, you know, in a marital context,
between husbands and wives, but also in the family with children,
you have to be very careful, because that's, you know, a
position of power, if you're a parent, and you have these
children that are under you, you will be asked about how you treat
them, and you are not entitled to talk down to them to ridicule them
to mock them to in any way harm them, you know, by because you
feel that you are in a position of power above them, but sometimes,
in some of our cultures, that's kind of how they frame you know,
parenting, unfortunately, is that you own your kids, you can do
whatever you want with them, you can talk to them however you want,
as you see a lot of very dismissive.
You know, parenting models, unfortunately, where they are just
dismiss their children a lot and they speak down to them, this is
an abuse of power. And so we have to be careful all the blood from
ever letting our hearts you know, get to that place where we where
we take advantage of those positions, almost put us give us
give it given us in the skin, again, like I said, also extend to
your work if you're in a professional setting where you
have people working under you, your supervisor, your manager, you
have, you know, a director or some sort of title, that gives you
authority over other people, then you want to be really careful how
you talk to them, and how you look at them, how you treat them, you
know, because you will be held accountable if you abuse those
those positions.
The last one that he has listed here is also very relevant to our
day and age, the seventh cause of pride is having in this these are
his words, which I just thought was ironic having followers, okay?
Followers, students, captive servants, disciples, in all
everything that a person considers a comfort and takes pride in even
if there is no comfort.
These are the causes of arrogance. So, you know, if you have people
that look up to you, you know, and again, we see this a lot of people
on social media, you know, they want to be
the influencer and a, it's all about likes and followers. And you
know, you want to have a platform to share ideas and thoughts. And
it's a big, you know, push for a lot of people to be on social
media, whether it's whatever app they're on or platform, they're on
Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, there's this, you know, again,
goal of wanting to be as popular as the next person, or more
popular, I should say, but people forget that, it can definitely
cause you or increase your your pride if you're, if you feel that
because you have all these people who are looking up to you or
following you, that you are better or that you suddenly are more
important, you know, that you have because you have people who are,
you know, like I said, you know, trying to
subscribe to whatever you're teaching that that gives you the
feeling that what you're saying is really important and therefore
you're entitled to have your position right put forward or that
you know, like your opinion matters more than other people.
You're suddenly an authority and all because you have people you
know who follow you so it's very dangerous, but this is what
happens to a lot of people
They become afflicted, because it gives them this false sense of
authority and superiority, like I have X amount of No, you see
people competing, it's just crazy. We live in a really crazy time.
All of it is an Amana, if if you have one student or 10,000
followers, and you are teaching or sharing something, you have to be
very careful and hold yourself accountable. I'm speaking, as
someone who has, you know, a public presence I, you know,
that's like a daily thing for me every time I do a class or a live
or anything where I'm actually going to engage with the public.
Of course, I have to do that internal work that we all do. We
have to sit and purify our intentions. We asked, that's why
we say our dogs, we ask us Panther photography, because we don't want
what is the meaning of it all. If at the end of the day, how the
biller, you end up on the Day of Judgment, having all of these
words come back to haunt you, you know, to basically like there,
you're going to be asked about them, they're, they're not,
they're not to benefit you like you, you're doing all these works.
And you deluded yourself to think, you know, he's doing such good
works, but your intentions are off. You're full of pride, you
think that you're better than other people out there that have
wondered, how does that serve you? It's harm to you. And it's all a
blur, a reason to really be afraid. And that's why we have to
ask all those people that every day to protect us from these
diseases that they don't take root, because we're going to,
we're going to be afflicted with them. It's just the nature of the
world. But the believer is always aware of that reality that I am
weak and that I could fall and that I am, you know that I, I
likely might have XYZ disease, you never get comfortable and think
that you're above it. If you ever think that you're above something,
then that is pride. Right? The opposite of pride is to have that
humility in that. That's what Taqwa is right? It's like you're
hanging between this. Like there's a sense of fear always you're not
you're unsure, you're unsure of your standing with Allah, you're
unsure of whether or not what you did was purely for his sake, or
was there another intention mixed in but that that process is good,
it's good to be insecure about yourself, because the moment we
get to secure and we think that we, you know, did something good
or positive or right or correct. This is where it's very dangerous.
This is a clear sign that you know, we are delusional because
nobody has any guarantees, nobody.
But the believer again doesn't fall into despair. We have hope
with Allah and that's why it's so important. Keep asking you know,
please purify my intentions, y'all Allah, I do not want to be like
you know, the three on the on the Day of Judgment who appear before
God ready to you know, they think all the biller that they're going
to be granted Jana, right? The person of knowledge the martyr and
the wealthy person and they all because of all their good works,
they are under the assumption that they're going to be granted Jana
but I was proud that it goes through each one of them. And
there's, you know, this exchange that happens, and he tells all of
them, that you the person who have knowledge, you know, that you
didn't spread knowledge for my sake, you spread it so that people
could say that you were the most knowledgeable and you got what you
you know, wanted people said that so just that when we felt like you
got the reward you were looking for you wanted all that praise,
you got it so you don't get Jenna. Same with the murderer, you know,
you wanted people to say about you that you were the most noble
fighter or the you know, the you sacrifice for my sake. So that's
why we have to always
go back and have those conversations with ourselves. And
that's why my household was so important. The end of every night
you take account of your deeds, and ask yourself, did I really do
it for the sake of Allah? Or was there another intention, but that
is how we safeguard ourselves from all of the diseases by doing that
type of deep internal dialogue and really, continuously asking Allah
for help, we need his help. There's no way any of us can
survive or thrive in this world. And in this Deen if we don't cling
to the rope of Allah Sparta and desperately ask him for help, we
cannot think assume that we can just wing it and do it on our own
or ever get to the place where we're just kind of cruising and we
were good. No, always we have to ask Allah please give me the
strength. I want to be a good wife or husband, mother, daughter,
sister brother, I want to you know serve you your Allah. I want to
make you happy. Please give me strength. I can't do this without
you. That's the daughter of a sincere believer. They never think
that, you know, they arrive at some level of understanding that
they were they just get it inherently. No
And that's the problem with pride is that people who are afflicted
with it, begin to attribute whatever sort of the source of
their pride is to themselves and they forget their need and
dependency on Allah subhana wa Tada. So male was found to protect
us from that and show up.
It is 910 so I'm sorry I went a little over. But let me look and
see if there are any questions here.
So I'm on a go for a Montreal thank you so much, Mr. for opening
your heart. While you're so sweet, just like go ahead and sister
Christine. Thank you for your very sweet comment. I mean, what age my
email already reward you as well. Brother shed hon. I think I'm
assuming your brother I do not know who that is. I'm sorry.
Are there any other questions or comments in sha Allah? Again, for
those who may have come in, we were reading from the moment of
Azeris, alchemy of happiness or chapter books. And we covered this
one on Pride and conceit inshallah.
So there are no other questions, then we can go ahead and end in
the end, but I'll give you guys a moment if you want to check.
Okay, I don't see any activity in the chat. So I'm going to assume
again, there are no questions but I thank you for your time and
Sharla and we will see you next week, same time, eight to 9pm
pacific standard time here at MCC I'll go ahead and end in the aisle
inshallah.
So Malik Alohomora behind the crescendo and Leila Hale and then
a Sofitel we're gonna to week along with cinema cinema medic
gonna say that our mode no have you been on Hamid cinema hottie
who has said that he was talking to Steven kopien on this Mala Hara
mana Rahim Allah Azza inand in Santa Fe hospital, il Edina mn
Iwamoto Swati hottie, whatever So Bill, happy with us over the
summer.
Thank you again. Brothers and sisters inshallah we'll see you
next week said I want to go more ahead with Allah who are going to
get