Hosai Mojaddidi – Purification of the Heart (Part 6)
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AI: Transcript ©
Hi Michel Jean Bismillah Alhamdulillah wa Salatu was Salam
ala should have an MBA one more setting and say there were Mowlana
Where have you been on Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam. Wow
that he was so happy Oh salam to Sleeman Kathira Santa Monica, what
I'm with Allah here but I can't do
I first want to apologize for my hoarseness in my voice. And I hope
I don't have a coughing bout during this class, but I am a bit
under the weather. So I apologize if you need me to repeat anything,
please just signal and I'll repeat that inshallah. So this is the, I
think the sixth the class, right? We were supposed to go to six
weeks, but because of mashallah so much content, and really good
discussions we've had, we're going to add one more class. So
inshallah we'll be here for next week as well. Okay, and that'll be
the last class, we left off the last session on negative thoughts.
So that's on page 81. So we'll go ahead and read from the verses of
the poem and then look at the discussion points and shallow.
Some assumptions are not permissible, such as holding a bad
opinion about someone who manifests righteous behavior. This
means that your heart is convinced and you have judged him, based on
your hearts suspicions without proof that warrants such an
assumption. There is nothing wrong with having doubts about someone
or having a bad opinion of him, if it is based on sound reasoning,
and is not arbitrary. Thus, our bad opinion of some profligate,
whose actions indicate his corruption is not prohibited.
The discussion, Mahmoud speaks of something that is very easy to
have but as harmful to brotherhood and injurious to one's own
spiritual growth. It is having a bad opinion about others, baseless
assumptions and suspicion, Vaughn. This is allowing conjecture into
one's heart without having any facts, which is especially harmful
when one harbors a bad opinion about people who are outwardly
righteous in appearance, which was something that the early Muslims
considered important. Scholars have advised that one should even
be aware of forming conclusions based on the bad appearance of
people. For it could be that God veiled their goodness from others,
the Arabs, traditionally were keen on having the ability to see a
person's inner goodness, once an Arab man came to the prophesy set
them to see who he was, when the men left, some men asked about his
opinion of the prophets of Allah how to set them. And he said, his
face is not the face of the liar. And this fear, rasa is again,
having the intuitive ability to see in people's signs of goodness
or evil. The Prophet sallallahu alayhi salam had this ability to
the utmost degree, and said that believers possess it also. But to
a lesser extent, see, the ultimate czar rock said that every believer
has the power of fear rasa, to varying degrees based on the
strength of his or her faith. So, again, you know, this is a disease
of the heart when it's based on just your assumption of someone.
And we find that today, because we live in such a fishable sort of
world, especially with social media, having access more access
to people's lives, that it's very easy to give into this disease of
a heart, right, you see an image, you see a post, you see, you know,
a memory shared, or, you know, someone's on a vacation or eating
at a restaurant or at a gathering whatever it is, there's an
opportunity to make a lot of assumptions about that person,
their lifestyle, right? The choices that they made in writing
that post or putting up that post, why would they even do that? So
it's, it can really unravel and some people get carried away, and
form really, you know, negative feelings to the point that they,
you know, get so frustrated, they may,
unlike, unfollow, and then speak ill of that person, in the company
of others. So it's definitely a problem that I think is more
common now. Because, again, we have more information about other
people, whereas before, you had to actually get to know someone and
people were a little bit more better about creating boundaries
about who gets to have that knowledge about their lives,
right. You don't need an invite every
really to your home, it was very specific people, people you trust
the people you had relations with. But when you think about sharing
pictures of your life, your family, your children, your
spouse, the events that you go to the places that you go to with the
world, right, it's going to open up a lot of negative assumptions.
So there's to, you know, respond, or both, the one who's posting has
a responsibility, right, about how much to share, to prevent this
from happening, but also those who are consuming, right, we also have
the responsibility to check our thoughts. And to see am I just,
you know, making a lot of negative assumptions about people? And what
does that say about me, right? That I sit here and I have the
time, the energy, the interest, and just tearing someone down just
because I didn't like what they did or shared or posted. You know,
that's, I mean, this is about social media, but it just in
general, even in the masjid, or in public spaces, or in gatherings,
if you find yourself, you know, sizing people up, you know, where
you're just looking at them up and down. What is what is that process
really, you know, when you when we when someone does that we've all,
you know, if you're on the receiving end of that, you know
how uncomfortable it is, right? When you walk into a space and
someone just kind of from the bottom, from your feet to, you
know, to the top just as slow scanning, right? It's a very
uncomfortable feeling. Because it's telling you, they're judging
my appearance, they're likely thinking certain things, and you
don't know what they're thinking. So it's a power. And it's not
something that, you know, the people who are God conscious do
because people got God conscious mind their own business, they're
not worried about why someone's dressed a certain way, what their
accessories are, what kind of shoes they're wearing, what brand
name is their purse, what brand name is their belt, or hat or
whatever other nobody, they don't care, because it's not my
business, right. So if we are doing these things, where we are
just assuming the worst, or assuming anything negative about
people, based on appearances, based on what we think about them
and their choices, this is the example of this disease of the
heart, and it's very dangerous. So that's that just, you know, it's
important to understand that, that that is the disease, but having
discernment, when it's there's obvious signs of a threat, or
something that's wrong is is you know, is wise, right, if you can
see someone doing something harmful for engaging in anything
that is prohibited, and they're clearly doing it in public or
public view. If you're just, you know, go ahead, and you don't have
to necessarily think the worst of them, but you can at least, maybe
protect yourself, protect your family, you know, look after your
own interests, when it comes to that situation. That's different,
right? Because you're just judging the situation for what it is,
you're looking at the facts that the evidence, and you're making a
call that's different than just letting your thoughts run wild
with with negative assumptions, right. So those two things are are
distinct and you have we have to know where to draw the line. And
that's why this topic of fear rasa is mentioned that the believer
does have this to a certain extent to varying degrees based on one's
faith to be able to pick up you know, good vibes good energy from
negative energy negative vibes we have that but at the same time, we
should you know, be do our due diligence to not to give people
the benefit of the doubt to think well of people has an oven right.
So oven is to think the worst this is what we're talking about. So
Sue oven is not part of you know, our tradition we try not to assume
negative things about anybody unless the evidence says otherwise
that's different. And so making excuses for people you know, if
you see something this is what the believer is in practice of you
know, if you see something even if it's you know, really it seems
kind of you know, like a you know, questionable suspicious that in
your heart because of your goodness or goodwill towards your
brother or sister. You don't want to assume the worst right? You
don't want to think that they're doing something haram right. But
you actually try to make excuses oh, maybe for example, like you
see, a brother who
He's not married, you know, an assister who's not married in a
car together, okay, you know, they're both not married.
If you have the saliva, you're gonna instantly Ooh, you know,
what's going on there? You know, and start coming up with all these
stories and maybe even, you know, pick up the phone, which is
another problem that when you do this, this is what it leads to.
Often, it leads to Riba, right, because it's hard to hold on to
information that you think, you know, might be something right. So
you you might call, pick up the phone and call someone and say,
Guess who I saw together in a car?
This is totally haram, you can't do that you're now you know,
you've not only did you have a negative opinion about someone,
you didn't veil them, now you're unveiling them and you're
backbiting and you're slandering, potentially, right, so it leads to
so many other, you know, harmful things. So, if you wanted to
practice has not been, you would sit there and deliberately think
of right, we have, you know, the Hadith that says 70 excuses for
your brother or sister, right? So you would sit there and think of
70 different reasons why this brother and sister were in the car
together, before you even allowed yourself to think of something
negative. That's the type of diligent work that the believer,
you know, does in order to, to prevent this disease, right? I
don't want to have this, I want to assume the best of other people.
And the thing about that is, they always put yourself in the other
person's shoes. Right? If you were that brother or sister in the car,
and maybe it was a situation where it was an urgent emergency, or
maybe they were a relative that someone didn't know about, how
would you feel if your name was dragged through the mud or there
was potential, you know, whisperings going on about you
don't do that to other people. Bottom line is just try to be a
good person and not assume the worst. And Shut, shut that down.
And if you hear other people even making those assumptions, it's you
know, it's good to just put an end to it. We don't have the facts. We
shouldn't even talk about that. Like, why are we talking about it?
We don't have the facts Yes.
Right,
it's, you know, I don't know the origins of it, but because it's
attributed to, you know, the the believer and it's based on one's
faith, right, it's probably, you know, just something that all of
us have had that it's like a sixth sense, you know, that we're
attached, we become more and more attuned to, as our faith
increases, right? That we just have this ability to perceive and,
you know, we draw also, the more inclined you are to, you know, to
all US pride that you just draw to that, which is naturally good,
right? And the opposite is true, if if you're distant from a lot
he's turned from you, then you're gonna fool you know, you're gonna
draw to negative things, you see, so it's like, the more we incline
towards us, rather, the more this inshallah ability increases, and
it's from him, until ultimately everything is from him good is
from him. Yes.
To go through.
Or just to kind of
take the mindset of It doesn't concern.
Right. I mean, I, personally speaking, I think the latter mind
your own business, shut it down, because the other one is
exhaustive, you know, you have to go through all those why if you
just mind your own business, you don't have to do that. Right. But
maybe in more personal relationships, it's, it's, you'd
have to do that, right? Because if it's like someone who repeatedly
is doing things maybe to hurt you, or you know, someone where you
have to maybe put the effort in, but if it's just a stranger, you
know, mind your own business, it's just much easier, right to do
that. But that's a good question. Thank you.
So, if we continue on that second paragraph, on page 82. However,
having a bad opinion of someone without cause is considered a
malady of the heart, Oh, you who believe avoid suspicion, for some
suspicion is sinful, often associated with this disease is
backbiting riba that is speaking ill of another person behind his
or her back, it is possible to backbite in an unspoken form, as
when a person has unfounded negative thoughts against another
person, suspicion in the heart that affects one's thoughts and
opinions of another person is considered backbiting of the heart
rebuttal? So that's, you know, sometimes we only think that Riba
is you know,
Oh, something that you do actively outwardly talking about someone
else. But this can be a completely internal disease, that you are
thinking the worst, you know, because of your suspicions to
yourself, right? It's a form of Riba. So this is why we have to
really watch our thoughts. And our thoughts do our telling of our
states. So if we're doing these things, it should disturb us.
Because it's like, you know, this is reflective of me, it's even
though I might feel justified, saying whatever it is about the
other person, or I think they're wrong. So I feel the need to
mention it or call it out. But just you being preoccupied and
wanting to do that should bother you more, right? Like, why why am
I getting into this? I should just, you know, leave it be, but
the fact that I enjoy it, or I like it, or I pick up the phone,
and I call people to, you know, spread, spread it, that's likely
worse than whatever that person is doing. And that's what we should,
it should really unsettle us like, Why do I incline to that in the
first place.
And the prophesy centum said, Beware of a bad opinion for it is
the most false of speech. If someone says to you that a given
person is bad, ask for proof. Without proof, it is tantamount to
a lie, the sacred law of Islam is based on proven not conjecture.
So, you know, we have to also put people who do this, you know, also
on the spot, if someone is gossiping and spreading things, we
should be the ones who have the courage to set right that person
and say, based on what, what do you know, this, you know, make,
see what were their thoughts gonna lead them to, and if it's just
what they think, and there's no evidence and proof, then we call
them out, because that's how we stop it. Otherwise giving ear to
that we become culpable. Right? Now, we're just going to listen to
it and go, Oh, really, and then hate it in our hearts, this is the
weakest of faith, right? We should, when we see a clear wrong,
try our best to address it. And maybe that person just needs to be
told that, you know, without evidence, they really shouldn't be
spreading stuff. You know, and it might just take that one moment,
that one teaching moment with you for them to be protected from a
lifelong bad habit. Because otherwise, you know, these are
things that the more someone does, and the more people you know,
enable, they just keep doing it and doing it, and then they get
that reputation. And now, you know, the we should look out for
each other. Right? It's, too, if you really care about someone, you
don't want them to inflict themselves with harm, right? So
you would, you would say I'm gonna correct this, because even if it
makes me uncomfortable, might make things awkward for us. At least,
I'm protecting you from harm. Maybe I'll be the only person who
will ever tell you in your life, you shouldn't do this. And of
course, you know, there's tact and wisdom and how and the timing and
the place. never embarrass someone in public. But it's just important
for for us to take the responsibility of even wanting to
do that. I think we've become so politically correct around
everybody now that it's like, we don't want to ever say anything.
But when it's someone if if you truly care about someone, you
should show them that you do care and advise them and counsel like I
said,
Give me an A See how there's a way to do that. So look into that
first, but at least consider that.
And then that last paragraph, a memo that says next that having
doubts about someone's character is not forbidden if it is based on
reason, and observable evidence. This is different from suspicion
that tends to be judgmental, and oftentimes, specious. Right, which
is like misleading.
God says, Oh, you who believe if an ungodly person brings you some
news, then seek out its veracity if someone known to openly indulge
in major sins comes with some news, one should not accept it
without circumspection. So the admins who gave good advice
centuries ago that still remains relevant. Do not trust anyone with
matters related to your religion, your family or your wealth until
you have tested him at least 1000 times is Pamela. According to this
advice, one should test someone's sincerity and trustworthiness
before entrusting him with anything significant and I think
this is really sound advice for us who are, you know, living here and
we're our communities have that we have communities but I think we're
you know, sometimes
I'm very alienated from friends and family, we don't get to see
people as often as we can. So it's we might, you know, because of
necessity
we have to go to work we have to do this we have to that we
entrust, you know, our children maybe or our homes, to people that
we haven't, we don't really know very well, right. So I think it's
really important to be
be aware of, of vetting people properly, you know, just that
anybody that you bring into your home, around your children, around
your loved ones, around anything that's important to you just vet
people, you know, ask for references.
And don't feel bad about that. I think we live in a time where
that's a perfectly you know, acceptable thing to do is to ask
for references and to follow up and not to just look at someone's
you know, what's on the resume or on paper or to trust your own
judgment because a lot of times people get very overconfident
like, Oh, I know people really well. I know people. Well, I got a
good you know, sense. They might be a little too overconfident
about their rasa, right?
Did you get people bamboozled and tricked and hurt, taken advantage
of all the time, because they might not have done their, you
know, their full, you know, research into someone. So, if
you're, you know, like I said, young children, especially, but
anybody who you bring into your home in any capacity, I would say
to be very cautious and to vet them carefully. So Michael,
welcome. Okay, so we're on page 82. We're looking at and we're
almost finishing up with the negative thoughts.
And, you know, it goes on to describe why this is so important.
According if there is much corruption in a given generation,
it is best to be wary of people until their goodness becomes
manifest. This is the advice of the scholars. There are many
people who have no qualms about deceiving and cheating people.
They will adorn their faces with smiles and communicate that they
are wonderful people but they will cheat a person when the
opportunity arises. Right so there's just this just have
criminals are everywhere but people there's a lot of devious
people who know you know how to get in
you know, get access to whatever they want by just being really
nice, you know, they overcompensate you know, with with
whatever they're lacking by just being really they ingratiate
themselves to people super nice. So if you're, you know, thinking,
Oh, this person's, they just seem so generous. So giving and you
give them access, then that's these are the people that they
know what they're doing, they're working you right. And their
stories all the time, whether they're predators, you know, child
predators, or other people, criminals, this is how they get
access. So, you know, the point of this is to know, having, having,
you know, the ability to,
to discern is something that, yes, we all possess to a certain
degree. But when it comes to the generation that we're living in
the time that we're living in, we shouldn't just default to that.
This is a time that we should test people's trustworthiness, right,
and put them you know, through whatever that means, whether it's,
you know, time that you need to establish trust, or like I said,
checking resources biding but actually doing that. And that
wouldn't be an act of suspicion on your part. If you did that.
Sometimes people get confused. No, it's actually just being wise.
And, and do it and looking at, again, just the time that we're
living in, it's just it's this is what is needed now.
And then this is also an important note on page 83. The first
paragraph at the top there scholars also say that one should
be circumspect with the dispensation of Zakat, and times
in which goodness prevails over corruption. The default is to
accept the Word of people who claim they qualify for as a Cath
and ask for it. However, when corruption and fraud are
prevalent, then those responsible are obliged to be rigorous in
their investigation. Unfortunately, some people often
present themselves as mired in poverty, though they are well off.
Charity is considered a trust from God and its dispensation must be
done with care. So I'm sure you guys have seen some of these
people who are, you know, throughout our community, they're
not even Muslim, but they will wear the hijab. And they will, you
know, have signs they'll bring their children there's entire
gangs of, you know, groups that this is it's a network, they know
what they're doing, they're out on the street corners, they come to
the mosque, or they'll go to, you know, any religious you know,
or, you know, place of charity that they are, you know, or even
an open, you know, market area where they know that families and
people who are likely, you know, mothers with children are going to
visit and they will play the, you know, I'm impoverished act. But
then and we I, I've personally seen it I know others who've seen
it, you if you park your car and watch them for a while, you'll see
there's, you know, networking happening, some of them have cell
phones, they'll get picked up after a while and like a really
nice high end SUV. So you know, don't feel guilty if you walk by
one of those people, and you just are like, you know, I'm not, you
know, I don't know what if you're truly in that state you're in. So
what I do is I like to just tell them, and this usually ends the
discussion, I tell them, you know, if the if I think they're Muslim,
you know, please contact the masjid, they have programs that
are designed for you, and you will get pushed back like, oh, no, and
then you know, right then and there that that person, if they
truly were in dire straits, and they needed help, they would be so
thankful of any program that would offer them something. But when
they're part of a network, they're just looking for easy money. So,
yes,
I'm also like, over the years.
Right, but I also know that there are some instances of actually
giving sacrifice, absolutely.
Had directly asked somebody that, are you in danger? Is somebody
hurting you? And actually contacted the police on one
occasion to kind of
make sure they looked into it and said, No, but the fact is,
yeah, yes, unfortunately, yeah, human trafficking, which is what
was brought up is definitely an issue. And some of these people
may, in fact, be in those situations. And so, you know, if
you feel the need to, like you did follow up and get the police
involved and Hamdulillah. But you're right. I mean, there was
just an article, I'm sure you guys saw this oral surgeon in Walnut
Creek, did you see him? Oh, it was just released a few days ago. It's
just absolutely tragic. But he's, you know, Yale graduate,
completely accomplished, you know, surgeon who worked actually in
dental offices throughout the Bay Area, he was caught, he's a total
child predator. He had, he was trying to actually buy the
daughters of, of a poor, you know, worker, I think she was, you know,
doing the custodial services in his offices or something. And he
was trying to actually her daughters were with her. He
wanted, he offered them her $30,000 to buy her daughter's. And
he was, you know, part of this trafficking ring and sexual
predator I just was released a few days ago, I just couldn't believe
it. But you're right, it's definitely a problem throughout
the US, unfortunately, in major cities, especially here in the Bay
Area. So there are these things that happen. And if God forbid,
wherever, you know, in those situations, where we see these
things that we that we hope to they don't exist, but if we do you
see something that raises our, you know, radar that yeah, we should
absolutely follow through. And, and, and get the authorities
involved. And so, you know, these, this topic of, you know, of
looking at people who are, you know, portraying themselves a
certain way, yes, can go in so many different directions,
depending on their intentions. But for us, the point of this is to
know that when you're when someone is in that situation, that
hamdulillah is a cat funds are trust from God, and they should be
given to those who are really in need. So putting the onus on them,
to come to the masjid and to actually, you know, get access to
those programs, instead of you taking the responsibility because
some people are very good hearted, you know, they really are good,
and they want to do good for people, but they ended up getting
taken advantage of, you know, because they'll, you know, they
feel so guilty, so their guilt is motivating them. But it's better
to actually say, this is an Amana from God, I want to make sure that
you know, I'm, I'm helping the someone who actually deserves it.
So an easy test is to just ask them to come to the masjid and see
what happens. You know, if they're really in, like I said, need
you'll see their sincerity but if not, then you can say Hamdulillah
I didn't get duped you know, and my, my wealth or my money or
whatever my help can be given to those who actually needed so.
And that's why that last paragraph having doubts about people is
different from decidedly judging them negatively forming a bad
opinion in the presence of ample evidence is common sense.
However, when people repent, they should not have their past held
against them. A Hadith says that there are two things no believer
has been given anything better than a good opinion of God and a
good opinion of the servants of God. According to sacred law,
people are innocent until proven guilty. This relates to having a
good opinion of God. A Hadith states that God says I am in the
opinion of my servant if he thinks well of me, he finds good. If
anybody thinks ill of me, he finds evil. Another Hadith states if
someone finds good, let him think God, and whoever finds other than
that, let him blame his own Soul, the prophesy centum also said that
the affair of believers is all good, even if something unpleasant
occurs, there is good in it. So 100 it up.
So that's the section on negative thoughts in sha Allah.
The next section, we'll go ahead and move on because we have a lot
to cover today. We're trying to, I'm trying to get to hopefully
past heedlessness if we can, maybe to rancor, just so that next week,
we can finish up in sha Allah. So we'll go to vanity.
And we'll read again from the verses and then get into the
discussion. So the verses are at the top, their vanity is the
aggrandizing of some blessing while forgetting that it came from
God. Treat it by realizing that the Exalted is the fashioner and
the bestower of blessings. Realizing that because of your
impotence, you can produce neither benefit nor harm. Indeed, vanity
originates from one's ignorance of these two matters. So this is a
pretty short section. It's
I like the distinction that he makes in the beginning here. So
the next disease of the heart is vanity, known in Arabic as origin,
which is related to arrogance, according to a mammal has led
arrogance requires two people for its outward manifestation, the
arrogant one and the one to whom the arrogance is shown. The
Possessor of vanity on the other hand, does not need a second
person. As he is impressed with himself. He admires his own
talents, possessions, looks and status, and he considers himself
better than others. He exalts for example, when looking at himself
in the mirror or gazing upon his accomplishments or property. In my
MO Lutz says he was in a various kind of entity in which a person
rejoices in the blessings he has, but forgets the source of these
blessings. So this is again, something I think we're all seeing
on a much more amplified level because of social media, right, we
see a lot of vanity, we see a lot of self promotion, a lot of
people, you know, praising themselves, and especially when it
comes to their appearance, and again, things that first of all,
they had no control over in the first place. But anything,
anything that you're vain about, if it's your wealth, your
knowledge, your appearance, your talents, your skills, if you omit
the fact that Allah subhanaw, that is the source of those blessings.
This is vanity, if you're taking on the praise. And the, you know,
like as though you had something to do with it, the claim that you
know, it's yours, and you know, you did it. This is where it's a
disease of a heart, but recognizing one's blessings as a
gift from Allah subhana data is very different, right? It's very
different. And that's why, you know, you can tell the difference.
We're not human beings, by nature, we're drawn to humility, and
goodness and purity. So when you see arrogance, or vanity, even
people who aren't necessarily religious or spiritual, they don't
like that, right? Who likes the arrogant braggart or the person
who walks in, and who thinks a fool of themselves, you know, very
few people like that, right? Because in and of itself, it's not
a good quality to have. So, you know, it's just, again, being
humble, acknowledging that, that God is the source of your
blessings, even if you're, you know, put on the spot, or you're,
you know, in a moment where other people are watching you, you know,
maybe someone's complimented you or you're receiving, you know,
being acknowledged publicly for something, but to keep putting it
back to God is a very different thing than to just saying, Thank
you. You know, I worked very hard for this or, you know, I'm so
happy that God you know, that I have these Not even God, they
don't mention God, right, that, that I was born with these looks
or you know, it's like, who wants to hear that right? But if someone
is, is, in that moment, praising God, we accept that we feel happy
for them, right? Because even though you know, they're they're
receiving whatever accolades or praise, they are deflecting it
back to the source of the blessings and so that just, you
know, makes
everybody feel good, but to take it on to yourself, that's what
we're talking about here to make claims that you had anything to do
with it. Right.
So the fact that someone has talent and is able to develop it
into a higher skill or craft and achieve remarkable things, does
nothing to diminish the obvious it is still a gift from God. It is
part of the Sunnah of God and creation that divine order woven
in the fabric of existence, that one must toil to refine his or her
skills or talent. A calligrapher for example, makes his craft
appear easy to the onlooker. But one does not see the years of
tireless preparation, perseverance and repetition, to master the
curves of one letter of the Arabic alphabet, and then whole words. On
top of that, consider the various styles of calligraphy that the
most that the great Muslim calligraphers have developed over
the centuries. There are plenty of talented and refined artisans of
the world who deem their work astonishing and magnificent. They
think only of their long training and deceive themselves into
thinking I worked so hard. And I did this all by myself. Similarly,
when often finds businessmen truly talented, and bold, and building
business, but who admire themselves and extol their
financial prowess, undoubtedly, this invites illness into the
heart for it is God who is the best hour of such talent, right.
And then the following Hadith, God makes every maker and what he
makes. So again, the treatment is very clear, just to acknowledge
that every blessing you have, even if you are the one who's put in
the hours and the effort and the you know, the studies and whatever
else you did, that it was still from God, because he's the one who
gave you the abilities to do those things gave you the time to do
those things gave you the opportunities to do those things.
You can't remove God from the equation, ever. He is always the
source of blessing. So it's a way to rid yourself of vanity to
constantly go back to that thought.
And then, the next page on page 86.
The third paragraph there there is foolishness and being vain about
what what one has accomplished, given its ephemeral nature. But
when one is thankful to God and acknowledges and praises him as
the source of this goodness, then the accomplishment outlasts our
earthly lives and memories of people, for God preserves it,
that's really beautiful, because just don't get stuck on something
that is not lasting. And that's where your focus is without
realizing that praise of God is everlasting. He's going to keep it
for you right beyond this world, right, the reward of His pleasure
is going to benefit you far more than whatever thing it is that you
are stuck in in the moment. So it's just a really beautiful way
to look at it.
And then, finally, in the last paragraph, vanity originates from
one's ignorance of two matters that God alone is the fashioner
and the giver of blessings and we human beings are incapable of
accomplishing anything without God's will and blessings. If one
accomplishes something wants you to remember God and be grateful
and not swagger with haughtiness, for if we do not humble ourselves,
God will humble us. When men and women are blessed with exceptional
outward beauty they introduce ugliness when they have vanity for
it. When the prophesy Saddam saw a reflection of himself and he was a
beautiful man, he would make the following supplication oh god as
you have made my countenance, most excellent make my character most
excellent. A memo dude says that to rid oneself of entity or to
prevent it from entering one's heart, one should reflect long and
hard on the fact that all blessings are entirely from God,
and that what cannot produce any benefit or harm without his
permission. So I'll handle it. Pretty simple there. Okay, we'll
go on to fraud.
So we have
versus at the top there on page 87. Fraud is to conceal some fault
or harm either religious or worldly, even from one who is part
of a protected minority, or from someone who has a treaty with
Muslims. Others have interpreted fraud to be the embellishment of
something that lacks any real benefit. So this is called a leash
right? The next disease is fraud ish. It is concealing from people
some faulty blemish or harm either of a religious or worldly nature.
Others have said that fraud is making something useless or
defective, seem useful or beneficial, or making something
bad appear to be good. One of the most widely transmitted Hadith in
the Islamic tradition is the process and I'm saying Whoever
defrauds us is not one of us. sacred law forbids selling
something without pointing out its defects. If the seller conceals
defects, or fails to disclose them intentionally. This is fraud
whether its victim is
As a Muslim or not, that is really important in the day and age that
we live in, where we have so many different means of buying and
goodie, I mean selling goods, right we have, whether it's
Craigslist, which I don't even know if anybody uses anymore, but
you know, Craigslist is there. And then there's, Facebook even has a
marketplace you have, you know, what is it next door that people
use now, there's so many opportunities to get rid of things
that we might not want. But as a Muslim, you have to be remember, I
was pilot a sees everything and if you know that something you're
selling to someone has a defect in it, and you don't point it out
just because you really need that money, and you're you want to make
the sell. This is the disease that we're talking it's, it's forbidden
to do that. And you're actually compromising me to for liberalism
to make that statement. Right? Whoever defrauds us is not one of
us, and that us is not Muslims, right? It's anybody. That's a very
serious and dangerous, you know, thing to risk. So much better, to
be honest. And remember that Allah's prime, that is ultimately
the one who is going to bring the risk to you one way or the other,
whether you sell it for the price you want or not. Whatever your
sustenance is, in this life, it's already determined and God will
give it to you. So it's pointless to try to defraud someone because
you're not realizing that is God the sources God it's not you and
the way that you sell it and how shiny you make it and your words,
we get caught up thinking that we have something to do with that,
right? But it's not, it's so being honest and saying, Listen, you
know, whatever the item was, whether it's an electrical thing,
or a piece of clothing, or a bigger thing, even a car a
vehicle, you should just be fully honest, you know, this is a
salvaged vehicle. This is the problem with it, it's got, you
know, I had to do this to it, that whatever, but just mention the
history or whatever, that you remember at least, about that item
so that the person knows and they can make an actual, you know,
informed decision, instead of polishing something up and making
it look amazing, and only praising it, because you really want the
money. Right? That this is where, you know, the ability to sell is
so
you know, praised in this culture, but at what cost? If it's, you
know, you're doing it in this way. This isn't a good quality at all
right? So it's it's pretty short section here, but we can we can
continue. The Sophists of ancient Greece loved and practically
worshipped rhetoric, they were the first historical relativist in
that they held the theory that right and wrong, do not exist in
an objective and transcending sense. And that whoever makes the
most skilled and persuasive argument is right. This office
believed that the most important thing is to be convincing,
regardless of whether one is telling the truth or lying, or
whether one is defending corruption or Upholding justice.
This is fraud of the tongue. rhetoric was also an art form in
Islamic literary and oral an oratory history, but to the Muslim
rhetoric was the art of embellishing the truth, and
presenting it persuasively. So again, if you're, you know, fraud
can be done in this way too, just by and you know, SubhanAllah. And
I'll mention this because I've been a part of these scenarios,
and it's very hard. But this fraud of the tongue is also when we're
over selling people, you know, and what I mean by that is, and when
it comes to marriage, we see this happening a lot in our community
needs to stop where someone will cover clear problems, they'll hide
past history, as you know, and they'll embellish the virtues of a
person, maybe even create them out of nothing, because they're trying
to get that person married to someone else, right. But this is
completely forbidden. And I've seen really horrific situations
where people were completely entire families were duped because
of this, you know, it's really sad. And you know, consequences
are serious, good friend of mine. This, you know, happened to her.
And she has now
she, you know, she was completely duped into marrying someone who
presented himself as being a very righteous upright person, and she
found out that he had multiple marriages before her. And she even
contracted a sexually transmitted disease and now has the risk of
potential cancer for the rest of her life over her head. These are
things that happen in our community. And it's horrible,
horrific if you if you think of that happening to your child. So
to think that it's okay because oh, it just you know, it's okay.
No, but it's it was in their past and
Nobody needs to know that hush hush know, when it comes to
marriage, you have to be transparent about especially past
marriages. That's important, you know, your, your sins between you
and God are different, okay? You don't need to unveil yourself. But
when it comes to past relationships, medical history,
there are certain things that you have to disclose anything or debt
that could potentially harm the person that you're getting married
to, you have to disclose those things. And if you know of these
situations, or someone's not telling those things, and they ask
you, you're now compelled to tell the truth. This is a time where
you have to speak the truth because God forbid, you know, they
marry and and harm comes you will be held accountable for remaining
silent, right. But the point is, is the fact that this occurs, and
it's common is we know, that's why we have to talk about it, this is
not acceptable. It's not acceptable to fraud people just
for your own benefit, whether it's material gain, or in this case,
trying to, you know, gain something else for them or through
them. Sometimes people do things you know, even for for status or
jobs or money, but just to be an honest person and, and not try to,
you know, duper trick people and remember, how would it feel if
that happened to you? You know, that's a number one way to just
kind of, you know, not justify it is like, if I was on the other end
of this, if it really would bother me, then why would you do that to
someone else, so, just wanted to mention that. Okay, so that's a
pretty short section. Now this next one is anger, right? This is
going to
probably take us the longest is a pretty lengthy section. And for
good reason, we all are plagued with this disease to a certain
degree. So let's go ahead and read on page 88.
As for the swelling ocean of all these diseases, I mean anger. If
you come to its shore, you will see great astonishments, it's
waves and everything else about it are overflowing. So save it what
you will without constraint, it has two treatments, one of them
removes it altogether without trace, the other suppresses it
should it manifest itself, to be adorned with the ornament of its
cure. Remember the extensive praise lavished upon upon
forbearance and humility, in sacred law, as well as in the
poetry and prose of the wise. Indeed, remember that all of the
prophets have been depicted as having both qualities repel anger
by perceiving at its onset, that there is no one doing anything in
reality except the Almighty. Also by performing ablution with cold
water keeping silent, lying down, if one is sitting, and sitting, if
one is standing, it will pass by doing these things and also by
seeking refuge in God as was mentioned in the tradition.
So Mr. Liu says of the next disease that it is a swelling
ocean, he refers to intense anger or wrath of a dub, which aptly
compares with a swirling mass of emotion that is difficult to hold
back once it is unleashed. Anger is truly an amazing phenomenon if
one reflects on its nature and presence in human life and
character, its peril and liability as well as its utility and
necessity. According to a hadith A man asked the Prophet salallahu
alayhi salam, what is the worst thing that one incurs concerning
God? The prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam replied His wrath. The
man then asked, how do we avoid it, the Prophet sallallahu alayhi
wa sallam said, do not become angry. Now, the next point here is
really important to pay attention to. This statement reveals a
fascinating reality in which we live and informs a good portion of
the Muslim religious perspective, that there is a correlation
between what a person does and what he receives from God in kind
of correspond correspondence that our all wise Lord has placed in
the workings of creation. If one wishes not to incur the wrath of
God, then one should not be wrathful or angry with people
unjustly. Similarly, the Prophet sallallahu sallam said that
whoever makes someone's path to knowledge easy, God will make his
or her path to paradise easy, and whoever covers the shortcomings of
his brother, God will cover his shortcomings in the hereafter God,
the All Wise place this special reciprocity in this world. So it's
really beautiful, right? If we, I mean, this should be one of the
deterrence of being a person who's easily angered unjustly,
especially because you don't want the wrath of God like almost proud
as clearly telling us
So, if you don't want to see my wrath, then do not have that with
my creation, right. And so this is one of the, you know, one of the
ways to treat this is to remember that we don't want, God forbid to
ever see his wrath, right? I don't want to see his wrath, we should
never want to see his wrath. So watch ourselves, check ourselves,
practice more restraint, right? And there's more advice in terms
of the treatment. So the next paragraph here, another man asked
the Prophet, civilize them, give me advice, and he said, Do not
become angry, the man asked again, and the process of them again
repeated his advice for a third time, the man asked, and the
question and the process said, again, do not become angry. This
repetition of this council stresses the importance of the
province license admonition about anger. Scholars agree, however,
that this hadith does not prohibit anger categorically, for even the
Prophet. So I said, I'm became angry when appropriate, he said, I
am a human being and I become angry like you, the prophets,
anger could be seen on his face, but his anger was always in
response to an aberration and human character and behavior are
offensive to God. So anger is not necessarily a negative emotion in
and of itself, it is part of the human creation, just as our flesh
and limbs are. Without anger, there are many things that would
not have been achieved. Anger can be a positive motivator. So that's
really important because we're not categorically you know, saying
that anger in and of itself is wrong. It's just the context with
which it comes out. And this is why when you're angry for the sake
of Allah subhanaw taala, that's a good thing, right? If it's, you
see an injustice that's happening, you know, there's anything that
you know, displeases God that that also displeases you, this is a
sign of your, you know, connection to God, and that you're, you know,
you're not, you're aligning yourself with him, but when you
just become easily angered, and that anger triggers, you know, and
even more negativity where it could either be like, cause
injury, whether it's, you know, a, you know, abusive language or
emotional, you know, manipulation or physical harm. This is where
anger is clearly a problem, because you it's unrestrained.
Now, it's like a weapon that you possess, and you just unleash it
on whoever and whomever gets in your crosshairs. If you don't
have, you know, this sort of standard that I, you know, I'm
not, what angers me is what angers God, but I'm just an angry person
all the time, then you risk harming yourself and harming other
people. Right. So it's so but anger of itself is not something
that I mean, it can be used for positive things. So it's not
itself wrong. It's just how we use it right.
So we have
on the second paragraph there, according to scholars, like Imam
Minogue, and others when the messenger of God salatu salam said
do not become angry, he meant do not allow anger to lord over
oneself, and cause the loss of one's comportment. In other words
do not become anger, okay, it's embodiment, such that people only
see your rage. Instead control anger and never lose control.
Scholars have likened anger to a hunting dog. Without training, it
will never retrieve what its owner needs, nor will it point a person
in the right direction. So anger is something that needs to be
trained not abolished. For if people completely suppress their
sense of anger, many of the injustice is of the world would
not have been opposed, and tyranny would have gone unchecked. Without
anger, people would go around with complete impunity, and commit
heinous acts. Without resistance from the people. Corruption would
cover the face of the earth. Okay. So again, it's the analogy is
really helpful to look at it like this hunting dog that the hunting
dog is useful. It's supposed to retrieve something and right point
you in the right direction. So anger, if it has there's a utility
to your anger, then you will receive the purpose of that but if
the if you there's no training and it's just again, unleashed, this
is where harm can come.
The last paragraph muscles scholars have identified and this
is again, really important for essential qualities in human
beings, which have been identified in earlier traditions as well.
Imam Al Ghazali, and Dr. Dino Rossi adopted them as the demon
raga believers for Hani in his book on ethics. According to
mathematical Zadie, the first of them is Quwata known in western
tradition as the rational soul, which is human capacity to learn.
The next one is called elevada.
which may be called the irascible soul. It is the capacity that
relates to human emotion and anger. The third element within
Shaohua, known as the concupiscent soul, is related to appetite and
desire, the fourth power cord that either harmonizes the previous
three powers and keeps them in balance so that no one capacity
overtakes them suppresses the others. In western tradition,
these capacities correspond to what is known as cardinal virtues.
Muslims call them the Omaha alphabet. They are wisdom,
courage, temperance and justice, hikma, shujaa, iffa and others.
When the rational soul is balanced, the result is wisdom.
Whoever is given wisdom has been given much good wisdom according
to Mr. Medulla Zadie is found in one who is balanced who is neither
a simpleton nor a shrewd, tricky person. If there is a deficit in
the rational soul, the result is foolishness. When the rational
soul becomes excessive and inordinately dominant, the result
is trickery and the employment of the intellect toward the
exploitation of others. So this is where a fish would come right.
Fraud. Because you if you're really smart, you can trick
people, right? So if there's no balance in that soul, this is one
of the results of that. Courage manifests when the irascible soul
anger is under control. When a man is struck between impetuousness
irrational behavior that people ultimately regret and cowardice
which is marked by fear overriding the anger required to courageously
respond to exploitation, oppression, personal threats and
wrongdoing. There is a middle path between these extremes, as the
President said, namely, a middle pathway, a middle way of wisdom
and courage. So when anger is balanced, you can have courage,
right? You're, you're able to stand up for, you know, against
injustices, oppression, because you're balanced this part of your
soul. But if anger is left unchecked, and that's when, again,
you go off the rails, and you end up you know, those people who go
out to protest, maybe something and end up, you know, hitting a
police officer or throwing, you know, damaging property. Now, what
have you done, you're now going to jail and now you've caused all
these problems for family, you know, you didn't really get the
outcome you wanted, your anger was not in check, right. But the wise
person uses their, that anger that is fueled by the injustice as
they're seeing, to be smart, to to, you know, to actually find
ways to change, whatever it is that they want to change without
letting the anger what Lord over them, right, when the anger is not
controlling you, then you can use your rational soul to get the
outcome you want. But if the anger is controlling you, your rational
soul is is now under right it's under its influence. So it can't
do anything. It's just going to be an emotional reaction that you
have and that can end in so many ways. Right?
Temperance is
yes,
yes.
Yes.
Right.
Yes. Of course. Louder. overcome them.
Absolutely. That's why there's you know, yes, silent protest or or,
you know, any type where you're just, you're have a unified strong
stand, but you're not letting your emotions go does sometimes have a
more positive effect then loud, you know, voices in yelling and
screaming. So that's a great point. Well, thank you for
mentioning that. We mentioned the civil rights, the end of this, the
Black History Month and the effectiveness of the civil rights
movement, mashallah just like located.
All right. We have temperance, right. EFA is a balance with the
cuckoo person's soul which is related to appetite and desire.
Those who do not possess this quality often recognize a
dignifying quality, or richness of soul of those who do possess it.
People of effort tend to abstain from trying to attain wealth not
only through Ruse and fraud, but also through begging. Attaining
things through illicit means is working from a posture of
imbalance with regards to one's desires. It is a suspension or
retraction of balance resulting in defrauding people and ultimately
one's own soul. This is the irony of giving into one's base desires
which offers some immediate gratification, but harms the soul
and dampens its spirituality.
Um and then we have Marshalls so many more points there's a whole
section the next on page 92 on again balance. I'm sure you've
read that but just
for time sake we'll move beyond that. And we'll go to that bottom
paragraph
where it says with regard to anger in my model is that he says that
it is acceptable only at the right time in the right place for the
right reasons and with the right intensity. So that's the formula
okay, if you have control of your anger, you know how to check all
of those things the right time, right place, right reasons and
with right intensity. The Messenger of God said Allah
hunters that have never allowed his anger to get the best of him.
He was in control of himself secure and always in the state of
spiritual certainty. Out of the 1000s of reports about the minutus
details of the prophesy son's life, never had anyone related
that the balls I said I'm ever did anything that was imprudent or
rash. Never did he apply his intellectual gifts, and prophetic
status for anything other than guiding humanity or right.
Okay, and then see what else there's more.
There's a lot of material again, great content here. If we go move
forward to page 95. We're talking a lot about balance.
That last paragraph, the balance is to cling outwardly to the law
and carry the spirit of Sufism inwardly, as the mama Shafi
advised when Muslims deal with one another, they should inclined
towards clemency and mercy, not wrath and severity. So just again,
reminding the importance of balancing your emotions and then
also how you outwardly manifest towards other people. On page 96,
we have the second paragraph there.
Anger by Deb remains an essential quality of the human creation, the
human brain is said to be a triune brain because it has three
dominant centers. This observation of the brain is not modern furry
mammals that he mentioned it the lowest brain is known as the our
brain or reptilian according to evolutionary scheme of things,
which is associated again, with appetite mainly for food and *.
The midbrain is where the emotions are centered, which includes
anger. The third portion of the brain is known as the new brain or
the neocortex, which is where the rational faculty resides. When
these three centers function properly in proportion to one
another. The human being is said to be functioning in equilibrium,
Such persons are stable and immediately likeable. So it's
interesting because we've gone from anger to really talking about
balance, right, because anger again, when in balance, it's, it
promotes, you know, all of these other, you know, qualities of
things that we we should want for ourselves. But if it's out of
balance, it can also, you know, push everything else out of
balance. So it's related, it's just a matter of having command of
one's emotions, right? Because emotions are important. We have
them, we're human beings, we emote, but if you don't know how
to balance those emotions, and it will harm you. Whereas if you work
on finding the way to balance them, then they all sort of work
together, right? So that all of these three triune brains that we
have, are actually in harmony. And this now allows you to be the most
balanced version of yourself, right? So it's very related to
everything else.
I like and then he goes on to kind of describe the distinctions
between
different people who are imbalanced, for example, there are
people who are almost entirely cerebral, everything is
theoretical or abstract to them, their rational centers, suppresses
their emotions residing in the midbrain, and the physical needs
in the our stem. So if you know people who are like this, who are
very hard, they don't emote very well, right. There's an imbalance,
right, and this is why studying temperament and personality is so
important, because it helps you to learn the differences, you know,
in human personality and just the way that we are with one another,
which then what prevents you from personalizing everything, right?
It actually helps you gain more control of your reactions. Because
if you see that there's people that are like this, like, let's
say, and I see this all the time with couples, you'll have, you
know, one or the other, just not very emotive or demonstrative.
They're not very affectionate. They're not very loving with words
or actions. And the other one is very frustrated. Because they are
they're maybe, you know, hopeless romantics and they just really
want this special emotional connection with their spouse.
But what ends up happening is they become increasingly resentful,
because they're reacting constantly to this other person's
lack of emotions, and they're now thrown off balance. But when you
actually study, again, that there's, you know, different
temperaments, and some people just aren't in balance, then you learn
to gauge your reaction like, okay, instead of, you know, setting them
up to fail, or, you know, reacting to them all the time, when they
don't do things the way I want them to do, right, I am now being
more empathic and understanding that they're, you know, they're at
a different level than maybe where I am. You know, and again, that's
why this, this is helpful, because if they're, you know, their
rational center, as it's saying is suppressing their emotions, and
then even their physical wants and desires, then it makes sense,
they're just to in their head, that brain is just, you know, kind
of taking over, that doesn't, it's not necessarily their fault,
right. And there's usually, you know, reasons why people, you
know, are the way they are, but the point is, is just to create
more empathy so that you're not reactive to other people. And this
is why learning this is important, right. On the other hand, it says
there are people who work mainly from their so called reptilian
centers, almost impervious to protocol, higher ethics and a
civil association with others, it is not unusual to hear someone
likening another's behavior to that of a snake a kind of slinking
predator entirely selfish and wholly tenacious in acquiring his
desires. Furthermore, there are people who are overly emotional,
they're either very happy or very angry, the latter of which is the
more common emotion. So again, this is just showing you that
they're all connected.
And when you see an imbalance, it's likely, you know, because,
again, there's an imbalance happening, but how you react is
going to either, you know, worsen the situation for you or not, and
if you can just, you know, accept that people are at different
levels, and that they might not have done this internal work yet.
And that's why it's so important to do this internal work, we're
actually studying yourself becoming more aware of your
tendencies, your shortcomings, your flaws, your even your
strengths, but becoming so in touch with your love that you
start working on it, and realizing the objective is what it's to
align ourselves with the prophetic model, right. That's why we're
doing this we study the diseases of the heart, we study
temperaments, we study all of these things, because we
ultimately want to be imbalance, which was the proper size seven,
he is the, you know, that's, that's, he, he's the most balanced
human being the most perfect human being so. So by, by just, you
know, having that empathy towards other people, it makes you less
reactive, and you will find yourself better able to deal with
difficult people, it'll just, it'll get easier and easier. And
because you're controlling your reactivity, it's like you're
controlling that emotional, you know, brain of yours by bringing
in that rational brain to say, Wait a second, you know, I can't
expect this person to react exactly as I would because their
temperament is different, or they haven't maybe done some of this
internal work, or maybe they were raised in a different environment,
it's just constantly giving that context, so that you become less
reactive to them. And this is where, you know, again, you're
promoting and fostering empathy that will have mutual benefit,
because the more they see you being understanding of them,
right, it's likely that they will maybe feel
inclined to learn from you and to take your counsel. And maybe you
can now expose them to some of the stuff. But we don't do that we
just get upset. Everybody's angry. Nobody's understood. Nobody wants
to talk. And this is the situation in many homes and many people's
lives across, you know, everywhere. And so that's why we
have to introduce empathy. So that's why this this section is
really, really important and valuable because he goes on to
talk about, you know why people get angry, right? There are
basically four reasons people get angry. One is related to primal
needs, such as food, shelter, and life. When these are threatened, a
normal person feels vulnerable and responds with anger. If someone
threatens one's life or family, the person needs to respond. This
anger is not blameworthy if humans are incapable of an angry
response. We would have a society indifferent to crime and
transgression. This would spell doom for human civilization. This
is part of the wisdom behind the Quranic commandment to enjoin what
is right and forbid what is evil. Right. I'm going to build model
And
so the second one here hit says. The second reason is related to
position, dignity and protecting one's honors. So human beings are
born with sensors that detect when others try to belittle them or
when they are the object of contempt and scorn. The other side
of this is when people view themselves with hubris, and
manufacture delusions of grandeur, they grow angry when they
interpret normal and acceptable behavior towards them as beneath
their dignity. So we're going through again what causes people
to become angry right. The third is related to specific people and
their particular sense of values. If for example, a scholar sees
that a book is being abused, he will become angry and illiterate
farmhand may not be vexed about the abuse of a book, though he may
curse the man who breaks the pitchfork. Finally, the fourth cos
is later commonly translated as jealousy. The prophesy said, um,
said that he himself had this type of protective jealousy, a sense of
guarding what he held us, dear, God has placed jealousy as part of
human nature. For example, if men did not have jealousy about their
wives, relationships would fall into disillusion, and vice versa,
right. There's many women who are very possessive of their husbands.
It is natural for a man to have this protective sense of jealousy
regarding his wife as long as it is not expressed in the form of a
pressing her, which unfortunately happens frequently. So with
regards to these causes of anger, emammal does that he says that the
first kind which is related to material needs is healthy, as long
as it is not as it is not taken to an extreme, such a person stealing
from others in order to secure such as, excuse me, a person
stealing from others in order to secure food and shelter. The
second kind, which is related to dignity is also healthy with the
caveat of avoiding two extremes hardiness, and abject humiliation,
the prophecy itself. So I said, I'm said, The believer does not
humiliate himself. And according to Edmund City's ignorant people
say something disparaging that does not relate to religion, then
ignore it, one should not grow angry when there is no benefit in
doing so. So this is actually a really good point, because, you
know, we have Islamophobia now and there's people who
they're gonna make comments, you know, if you're out and about,
either visibly Muslim wearing a hijab, or, you know, someone just
kind of picks up maybe on an accent or your name, and it's
could be a stranger, it could be at work. It could be a family
member, who knows. But the point is, is you have to know there's
certain levels of ignorance, it's just not worthy of engaging, and
instead of wasting your time and letting them fill you up with all
this anger and, and hatred, and then you, you know, retaliate or
you respond in kind, it's just, it's, it's, again, baseless,
because you're likely not going to change their mind that way. Right?
It's just giving into that emotional need to, you know,
because you've taken offense. But I would say, why would you take
offense to someone who displays ignorance, right? Why, why are we
offended by that, you know, that you shouldn't give their words
that much power over you, because they're displaying their
ignorance. So if you're giving their words that much power over
you, then now you're legitimizing the ignorance of someone. Whereas
if you can walk away like you're, you're not even worthy of my
attention. Right? Because you're so ignorant. That's protecting
yourself from harm, potential harm, especially nowadays, um, you
don't know people can are unhinged. You know, there's a lot
of people who have no,
they do things with impunity, they're not, they're not afraid.
Whereas before there was a sense of, you know,
you know, they knew boundaries. Now people are out of Allah, you
just, I wouldn't take a chance on it. So there's that threat too.
But it's also more a measure of why am I letting this person get
me riled up in the first place, or just if they're ignorant, I'm not
getting engaged and walk away. Because a person who earnestly or
sincerely maybe is curious or ignorant in the sense of they
really don't know.
They probably, you know, would come and ask questions, but to
just show hostility towards an innocent person, you don't even
know why engage that person, right? So there's no worse than
that.
And then, so then the next
few pages are about the treatment and right. So as for the spiritual
disease of anger that consumes a person the memo that says there
are two cures, one of them removes anger when it occurs, and the
second suppresses or thwarts it. So the first cure, which should
remove anger, is to remember the extensive praise and goodness
associated with forbearance and humility. So the atman zero
contends that the main reason people become angry is because
they have inflated egos. For example, even though the
coloration mark the prophesy said I'm like children
Do While persecuting him the prophesy Saddam did not become
angry with them. Right? So just realizing that there's actually
much more value in being a person who is able to restrain one's
anger, be forbearance Be humble. And it's it's praiseworthy almost
present that it looks favorably upon that person as opposed to the
person who has no control of their emotions, right. And it's
interesting, because the way that we perceive anger sometimes is
like its strength, right? And it's not it's actually weakness, right?
Just because someone, you know, squares up and talks loud and
looks intimidating, does not mean they're strong, it actually means
the opposite, they are weak, that they have zero control of
themselves, and they're just displaying themselves in that way,
you know, kind of like, the way a snake you know, a cobra, for
example, will make itself look big. But if you look at the snake,
it's not very big, isn't it? It's not that large, it just makes
itself look threatening, and rattles, and it has that whole,
you know, display. But is it really this big, threatening,
menacing thing. I mean, we don't want to get bitten by a snake.
Don't get me wrong, but you know what I mean. So the truth of the
matter, when someone does that they're just displaying their
weakness, they're not displaying strength. So that's the cure is
that realizing that becoming a person who's just easily a or
being a person who is easily angered is a total sign of
weakness. And what we covered in the first few pages, that by not
controlling that part of you, you are potentially opening yourself
up, God forbid to seeing God's wrath, because you're so willing
to yell at your family, your children, your spouse, just be,
you know, on the road, you know, road rage, you're cursing at
people flipping people off.
When there are some really dark people out there who really don't
care they are, you know, like I said, really scary out there. But
but like that type of person, if they think they're gonna get away
with it. Just because, you know, people are scared or intimidated,
or maybe the cops weren't there to see it. They're foolish. Allah's
father is telling us clearly, if you do things like that, this is
what you know, the outcome is you're gonna see my wrath. And
that can come in many ways it can come in this world, or the next
right, God protect us. So those are the ways that we cure this
disease is just by really focusing on wanting to be better, and
realizing the virtue and again, being patient and forbearing. And
trying to and humble, and aligning ourselves with the prophetic
example, right.
And then at the bottom, it says, imamo law states that next that
one can control anger. So there's one thing to prevent it. But if
you have it, how to control it is by recognizing that nothing takes
place without God's leave, there's no power or might accept with God,
this life is a crucible of trial, and those who are heedless of this
react severely when trials come upon them. So it's probably
because again, going over the four reasons for anger, that you're not
in real, you're not realizing that everything is from Allah subhanaw
taala, right. And if you had that awareness, more and more, you
wouldn't be triggered so easily. That's the point of this right? Is
that you have if you had that awareness that all good, you know,
comes from God or nothing happens without God's permission, that
that would help you to have more restraint in the way that you
react to situations that would easily anger you. Right? Because
it's that lack of control,
which we all want, that leads us to those states, but if it's like,
something recently happened to me, personally, I'm trying to remember
the details.
Oh, yes. I mean, it's just a simple example. But my son, the
other day, he went into the pantry. And he had I think, I told
him not to do something. But anyhow, he went to try to do it on
his own. And he reached for something from the, you know, from
the pantry, and I'm in my office working, and I hear the crash. And
you know, I'm a reactive person. I just am by nature lets my
temperament. But in that moment, because I was I don't know if I
was reading from this book, or I was reading from something. I
think I had a lot of deadlines last week, so I was working on
something definitely
related to spirituality. I had to put all this into practice. And it
took a lot of composure and because I just told him not to do
it.
And so I just was like,
You know what he's, he's, you know, putting me through a test
clearly. So I had to convert myself and I walked outside, and I
saw the big mess all over the ground on the big end of the
kitchen. And I just said,
It's okay. Let's, let's clean this together. And he looked at me
honestly, like, what just happened? Who are you? Where's my
mother?
But Subhan Allah, we cleaned it up real quickly. And it was over. And
I realized, like, oh, my god, that was that went so much better than
it probably would have. Normally, right? Normally, I would have gone
in there and said, What did you do? I just told you not to do it.
See, this is why I told you not to do it. And you know, given it, and
then he would have, like, looked at me like, Okay, I'm sorry, I'm
sorry, I don't just and then I would have felt guilty. And it's
just a horrible situation. But somehow having composure in that
moment where I was so like, oh, was really to me, it was a very
good moment of just saying that I need to do that more, because it
just prevented so much drama, it was over, it wasn't a big deal, it
really wasn't a big deal. It wasn't a big deal at all, like
every, you know, we cleaned it up quickly, it was in the end, even
if something had broken, it wasn't broken, it was just a mess. But
even if it's something I'd broken, when you look back, and you see
just was a plate or a cup or whatever, it wasn't a big deal,
right? But I think in that moment, it's just we have to start
practicing these things, right. So that's why more, the more
awareness you have of this, and you try to think about it more
often than when you're put in those positions where someone cuts
you off on the freeway and said, you know, you're just gonna go.
Because all I saw that you this, nothing happens by coincidence,
clearly, this was meant to happen. And maybe it's meant to happen,
because I'm supposed to display whether or not I'm learning
anything, you know. So when you walk out of this class, if you're
put in a situation where those triggers happen, remember these
pages that you're reading together and say, Okay, this could go two
ways. And this is how you start to commend this is how you start to
control. Right.
And then we go, we continue, and it says that. So now we're talking
more about control, right? So realizing the first point is to
realizing that nothing takes place without God's leave. The second is
to actually do certain things physically, to shift and adjust
your state so that you're able to handle whatever the situation is
at the time. So the process, I advise that if one becomes angry,
one should sit down. And it's if you really think about it,
especially like, if you're in an altercation with someone, let's
just say someone's, you know, getting in your face, or you and
you really want to respond. How would it be? How, how effective do
you think you would be if you force yourself to sit down in
terms of you know, your anger, you know, you probably wouldn't look
as threatening, right? If someone's like, ah, then you're
just like, Hold on. Let me sit down, yelling from that vantage
point is different, right? Because it's not as threatening, so but
you're forcing yourself to say, I could, you know, come and get in
your face, and equally yell and scream and shout, but I'm
practicing an advice of liberalism, for the exact reason
is to come down from that state, because I don't want to lose
control right now. So I'm actually controlling myself because my
emotions are getting the best of me. So now I'm controlling my
physical body, I'm sitting down. So if you're sitting down, you
know, I mean, if you're standing, that's what you should be doing.
If you're sitting down. Now, again, imagine it yelling at
someone while you're laying down is very odd. Right? Like, if
they're standing and yelling at you, and then you're like, hang
on, let me just,
you know, stretch out and looked really relaxed right now. It's
like cognitive dissonance kinda right? Because your body and mind
are not are like, how am I doing this together? Right? I'm in a
very relaxed position, but yet, you know, it doesn't work. So it's
a way of turning that off, just coming down from that angered
state, right? And then, if neither of these help, like, if it's just
you're still able to yell your way through those positions, then you
get up and you actually physically again, force yourself to make the
will do because that cooling effect of the water sometimes we
do get flushed, right read or just heated. It's there's a physical
response to anger it does cause that blood pressure goes up, you
know, temperature goes up. So the physical cooling down of the
body should also have that effect of like, okay,
you know, now I can deal with whatever it is. So these are all
wisdoms, right? That we should put into practice. And it's, the thing
is we don't do these things in our anger, it gets more and more out
of control. And people, you know, things escalate, because we're not
following the advice that we should be following. Yes. Do you
have a question?
Yes.
Yes, please.
The inputs that were brings, yes, there is a direct path to the
multiple centers in our brain.
That
remember exactly.
Okay. And then there's another route, which goes to our logical
brain.
And then it goes to them. So
always, the first one is the one that goes, so that's when the
emotions rise.
So they say that if your, your route to like the first half of
the Union, to the logical brain is more like kind of established,
then you have better chance of getting into that logical
teaching,
than just going into the emotional state of case.
All of these things that are mentioned here are basically what
you're trying to do with that awful emotional state, or even as
Yes,
and that
you were getting into a state where your heart rate is, like 10
or above, you're normally
able to take it, right. You don't hear anything. Absolutely.
Two people are in an argument.
Personally have to
drink water?
Absolutely, no, it's such good. I'm so glad you brought that up.
Because you know, emotional intelligence is an area that has
become very popular. You know, in recent history, it's about maybe
1015 years old, that term even. But if you actually studied every
single aspect, the five qualities of emotional intelligence, all of
it are rootedness Lam. Right? Self awareness, self regulation,
motivation, empathy, social skills. What is that that's all
Islam, because this is what we're doing self awareness and self
regulation, right. And these skills are so important. But that
last point, you mentioned, is very important for people to know,
which is, when you're in those heated discussions, and I think,
you know, couples should can really benefit from this, because
I work with couples a lot. But when you're let's say you have a
legitimate grievance, right?
If your complaint towards your spouse is legitimate, and you
really do have a case to make you undo yourself, when you engage
with them and their emotions, their anger gets a hold of them.
By continuing there's no point, right? Sometimes you think like,
well, we're in it, we might as well, you know, I brought it up. I
don't want to walk away from this right now. Because I'm gonna lose
this opportunity. But it actually does more harm, because, like you
said, when someone's heart rate is up, you know, what, what was it?
20 or 20? Points past right? Their normal 1010 beats, right.
Right.
Right, you're escalated? Yeah. If it's escalated, you're not able to
rationally process what the other person is telling you. So your
emotions are going to get in the way. Therefore the other person's
like, you know, thinking, if I just keep pushing and pushing, I'm
gonna have a breakthrough. No, you're not, it's gonna maybe cause
somebody to break, but you will not have necessarily a
breakthrough with this person. So it's better to say, Okay, you're
not in a good state right now, or I clearly upset you or whatever.
I'm gonna walk away, let the person cool down and revisit the
topic another way. And I actually recommend for couples who are
often in these situations where verbal communication always ends
up in some unfortunate, you know, argument and it's just never
really gets accomplished. You never really get anywhere. Change
your means, you know, communication. It's a beautiful
gift all this planet has given us but I think we're so used to
incident, you know, results that we think default is to verbally
communicate. You know, what, if it doesn't work for you don't do
that.
Add, because temperaments vary, if you're someone who's thoughtful
and you do, like you don't mind, you know, putting in the work,
have a writing, you know, writing is actually much more effective, I
think. And I've told several couples that I've worked with,
like, try it out, try it out where you actually write your thoughts
out in why because you can self edit yourself. So that way you
don't take those jabs, because sometimes in the verbal context,
right, it's very easy to give into your nerves, and you want to just
hit that person below the belt. Whereas when you're editing
yourself in an email, or a letter, handwritten or otherwise, whatever
it is, you want to do a card, you can go, okay, maybe I shouldn't
say that, you know, after you review it a couple of times,
you're like, maybe I should take that point out, it's not going to
be effective. And so it allows your rational brain actually to do
the work for you. And on the other side of it, when you're not
standing in front of the person expecting your them to respond to
you. Right, then they're allowed to also rationally process what
you're saying to them. So it actually can be much more
effective for people who have really like intense, you know,
for, you know, arguments or discussions that never really go
anywhere. Just try it and see what happens, you'll be surprised
because now the person can read your thoughts in a rational state,
you've written them in a rational state, and you're letting you're
bypassing the emotional response all together, it actually makes
for much more effective communication. But again, you have
to, you know, no, this is an option for you. Yes, I'm sorry.
Your head was
the other well established techniques, in addition to this is
using the breath and taking deep breaths. Yes. stimulator, right,
nervous system, lower blood pressure
to get us into that place. And
of course, the
tradition.
Absolutely. The kid
told us to read,
you know, I don't know of those specific words, but you know, the
remembrance of Allah Sprott that even the La ilaha illa. Allah, is
it not an exchange of breath, right. And so, whenever we do
remembrance of Allah, it's, it would count as that right, it is
to bring us down into, you know, just get us into that, again, calm
state of physical physically, spiritually, mentally, everything,
but there is a beauty to it a rhythm to it, right, that you when
you do it correctly affected, right, that does, I think, promote
that. So that's the first thing that comes to mind is just to you
know, I'll leave it I'm gonna ship it this is we know if you're in a
state of anger to call it a war by seeking refuge, you know, in him
from shaitan. But I don't know of any to answer your question of his
specific words about breathing per se, but it's a very good point.
Just like go ahead and for bringing that up.
hamdulillah I'm sorry, one other thing you had, and then I'll come
to you and I Yes.
Oh, was she okay, I didn't see your head. Okay, please.
Yes.
Yes.
Pain,
then that must be like the
right situation. And so. And I feel like, as much as we try to
not over commit and
over schedule.
That doesn't always work out, right.
Yes.
And it's just easier.
Right? That's a great question. And I am in the same boat. I think
most moms and parents actually, we're just where we are. We're all
juggling a lot. So it's easy. It's just harder to manage sometimes
our emotions, but one of the things that actually helped me
with my boys, and I did tell them is to empower your children to
give you the words that are going to get you out of that state. So
my kids know they'll tell me sometimes, because I told them I
said, if I if Mommy gets upset fast, all you have to say is
Mommy, we're just children. We didn't know. And then I was like,
and that's what works for me because they'll say it. My son
just said it to me the other day. He's like, Mommy, we're just kids.
We didn't know and I was like, You're right. And then it
immediately reminds me like, look at what I'm dealing with, you
know, an EIGHT and an 11 year old I got to lower my expectations,
sometimes uncertain things right? But I'm the empowering the people
in your life to be able to
I get you, like snap you out of it kind of right. And that can be
sometimes like a word, you know, like, let's have a code word that
we say you know, or just a statement that just disarms you in
that state because a lot of times it is that you become overwhelmed
that swelling of the ocean right? But when some the right words hit
your heart, they can get you out of that right? So I think, you
know, everybody in your family should just kind of know you know,
your boundaries and what will work for you and and we're all going to
be different but empowering them to help you is also a good way of
showing your children that you know, I'm not the bad guy in that
state. I need your help right? I'm vulnerable to attack shaitan is
attacking right And shaitan does come when we're in those states
and he that's why he likes to heighten the state. So I need your
help. You're the anchor for me so help me out of that right. I'm
drowning in the ocean throw me a lifeboat So yeah, that should help
just coming up with like a phrase or a word, you know. Try that in
shallow
yes
don't
know
do you have that
on
there is one book by Matthias Smith that's called the moral and
emotional intelligence of the province. I sent him the hearts oh
gosh, I forgot it's called the heart something I forgot the name
of the full name of it. But Mikhail Smith and you could just
do moral and emotional intelligence of the prophesy
seven. Yeah.
hamdulillah so we have
okay, we'll just quickly finish up anger and then try to get to
heedlessness before we end, okay. Bismillah. So, the last sections
here, hold on where were we?
Okay.
Oh, yes, at the end of that second paragraph on page 99 We said anger
often manifests itself in the face which becomes red and warm once
when a person grew up very angry before the prophets I said them he
noticed how when one is extremely angry one's face resembles Satan's
the process seems then said I have a word that if spoken will remove
it from him. It is I seek refuge in God from Satan the accursed so
this is also another way to disable our disarmed someone who's
angry I know in the Arab world, they do have something that's
really beautiful is it? I'm trying to remember
Salli ala Nabi, right? Like if there's like a situation where
people are having a, you know, altercation in the middle of the
road car accident or something, but it's a way of just boom, like,
say sell out on the province. I said, I'm you know, it's immediate
way to remind people like, get out of that state, you know, so
there's ways that Hamdulillah you can come up with that work for
you. But just you know, seeking refuge in Allah remembering the
place, I'm doing the kid. It's not easy, but if someone else can
who's observing that and that's actually a good way to defuse the
situation. If you're an onlooker and you see people in a fight, you
know, or an argument like, God forbid, it happens here or in your
family. You should have words to be able to say, you know, come on,
you guys were brothers or sisters, let's stop this, you know, but
having those words at your disposal to just easily get people
out of their Stanek effective if it's a really strong coming for
me, right. But if you're just like, No, I don't want to get
involved. Well, you're letting two people potentially things escalate
and gets much worse. So get involved but do it the right way.
Do it with wisdom. And of course, you know, don't subject yourself
to physical harm if it's, you know, really threatening situation
but if you can, yes.
Yes
Even I'm just reading an event here and mentioned the speech
stages of the Child Development.
Yes.
Yes, but at the same time
Yes.
That the second thing
in life, yes. Yes.
So my question I get into
where I get three
situations are labeled
But it gets very frustrating. Right?
And,
and so, on one hand, I'm responsible for this person
because
I
cannot belong, I cannot leave. Right? But on the other hand, why
not be exploited as a parent and I need to
teach this person or you certainly about this. And in that process,
you know, there are times I get angry, I know it's better to
assertive but there are times there's
right.
So, how do you, okay? Well, if you look at that whole section we were
gonna get to in a moment, but the last paragraph on page 100,
jumps in here and mentions the choleric temperament. This is an
area of study that a lot of people don't know about the four
temperaments in Islam, it actually does help to know what you know,
how people, it's kind of like, you know, our own interpretation of
again, personality, right? It's a typography that helps you
understand that people are different, and they are, you know,
either very easily angered or triggered, or emotive or reactive,
or they're not, they're more contemplative, they're more, you
know, subdued, whatever the different qualities are, but to
actually study that is very helpful for the parent child
relationship. Because not only are they preteens or teens right there
in that their teens, so not only are you dealing with the, you
know, their emerging temperament, because of the adolescence age of
adolescence, you know, so there's a lot of physiological changes
that are happening to them that are causing them to be more
reactive right there. So it's kind of compounded, right? They're in a
very intense stage of their life, where they're going to be more
verbal, maybe about certain things than ever were before. But we have
to be as the adults aware of these things that you know what, this
isn't just disrespect or insubordination, the way I'm
perceiving it, like, How dare she speak to me this way, this is a
child who is maybe cranky, because she didn't get the sleep she
needs. You know, sleep, for example, is a huge component that
parents overlook. Children are overstressed you know, in our
world, and they are not sleeping as much as they should. Just like
a toddler, they don't sleep, they get super cranky, and you're gonna
have a horrible day, right? Teens are very much in the same way. If
their needs physical, physical needs are met, they're hungry,
they're not, you know, getting the rest they need. They're, and
they're also trying to process all of the changes that are happening
to them in their physical body, alongside their relationships, a
lot of times relationships are also evolving in this age, there's
so much happening with teens that we have to read about that, and we
have to understand it so that what we do, is we don't personalize it,
because it's the personalization of these things that cause us to
be reactive, right? We're taking everything as if it's an attack on
us. But if we actually say, they're going through a lot right
now, and they don't have the coping coping skills, or the tools
in their toolbox, right, that I have acquired over 3040 years to
know how not to be that way, I have to give them some slack here.
And, and try to just be more empathic and understanding and not
engage in them in those states, just like we mentioned earlier,
when they're in those heightened states to try to rationalize with
them, and give them a lecture about parental authority and
respect is like, pointless, they're too heightened in their
states. So what you do is you wait for them to be in a better state
and then in a calm way, again, just discuss, you know, maybe your
hurt feelings and, you know, go from that angle instead of just
accusations and blame and shame and how dare you, that's not going
to be well received. You know, so I think a lot of this has to do
with just becoming more aware of the science of the temperaments,
you know, and kind of doing like a, you know, where you're, we're
looking at all of these variables, you know, that this is my child's
temperament. This is their, these are the things I'm working with.
This is my temperament. This is, you know, adolescence is a tough
age. And then you're studying martial art motional intelligence,
which is a fantastic toolkit to help you navigate the discussion
because getting her more abreast of even that, what is emotional
intelligence and, you know, really teaching those things are very
effective. I'm a big
fan of teaching our youth and teens, especially these tools
early not to think like, oh, it's above their head, no, teach them,
because you'll see that they'll actually, it'll help them in their
relationships. It'll help her to know her temperament and her
friends temperaments. It'll totally make your world better in
your household. It'll just start gelling because you're using
language that makes sense, right, as opposed to just interpreting
behavior.
or that you don't like through your lens, getting upset about it
becoming reactive, and then they do the same thing. It's just like,
you know, there's no healthy communication there. Right? So
look into that. Yes
there are generally there are some things that males or females,
like. Right, right, like,
all females, right? Of course, there's gender differences. Yeah.
So this book
and, and she was used to separate books, and it covers the
development of the brain from the time
a male or female, it was in the womb until the end of life.
All the changes that happened, and it's all basically hormones,
and how that can affect the way you react. You're you are,
what your perception of reality is.
So the problem that female and the male brain and this guy
Yeah, especially if you have to use it's, like, if you forget
about what it was like to be a teenager, right?
When you read this book, it's like, oh, my gosh, that is exactly
what was going on. And I thought it was just write.
I mean, it was, it's insightful, right? And it gives Well, it'll
give you as a parent more information to actually deal with
what's going on instead of just again, coming up with your own
conclusions and reacting so
right?
Yes, that's true.
Right? That's very true.
Yeah, in your own right. Now Inshallah, inshallah you will have
to fake as you do it. But thank you for bringing that up. Because
hopefully, you know, other people who are listening or watching are
also benefiting. So we'll go ahead and try to wrap this up on anger.
The bottom paragraph anger sometimes arises between parents
and their offspring, but this often can be avoided if parents
treat their offspring appropriately, in accordance to
their ages. According to one Islamic model, the soul has three
stages. In the first seven years, it is known as the appetite of
soul, the primary concerns of children in this stage are eating
and wanting attention. The second is the next seven years, the age
of anger when kids react strongly to stimuli and are annoyed easily.
And then the third is irrational stage. When reasoning and
discernment reached their full capacity, I leave it to be thought
of or encouraged parents to play with their children during the
first stage, indulge them, for their discovering the world, they
had been in a spiritual realm and have only recently entered the
realm of the sensory. And the second stage. Even MIT counseled
that parents should focus on training and discipline for in
this stage, young people have a heightened capacity to receive the
and absorb information and thus learn new things. And then the
third, parents should be friend them and form a relationship that
is applicable and full of kindness and companionship. After this,
their children. Now adults should be set free. So again, just
knowing those three fundamental stages or developmental stages
that children go through, and then how to appropriately respond to
each is really important. It's part of the Islamic model of
parenting. And it also correlates very much with just children's
development in studies in general, about you know, it's different
stages than the last temperament. We talked about the I mean, excuse
me, the last paragraph we talked about temperament, right? Some
people have a choleric temperament, and hence a greater
tendency to grow anger. So Omar, Hatha, for example, was known to
grow angry. But if we look further at him over the course of his
development in Islam, his anger no longer got the best of him. In
fact, it was the opposite. He tended to be forgiving and
compassionate. So what's interesting here is when you see
the four temperaments, you'll study that we possess all four.
Okay, there's what we call the choleric temperament, which is
easily angered, sanguine, which is very personable, and like, you
know, the social part of us, then we have the phlegmatic, which is
very connected and, you know, more reflective, it's very, you know,
wants to, you know, establish more, you know, connections with
people, so very family oriented and relationship oriented. And
then melancholic, which is the more abstract temperament it's
very, you know, sort of focused on numbers and results and
perfectionist, you know, sort of temperament but once you study the
four, you realize we all possess all four and the objective is to
get them in balance, right so that not one is
Is, is over the other, right?
Is that the actual event? Or is it someone's fun? Okay, okay.
Okay, so um, so yeah, so once you understand that, then you will
know, that's the objective is because the profit center had all
four in perfect balance. And so he, you know, he knew how to be
social with people at their appropriate level, he was angered
for the sake of Allah in appropriate ways. He was very
connected to his family and his companions and his ummah. And you
see that, you know, throughout his life, how loving he was, how
adoring he was, how connected he was. And then he was also very,
you know, analytical and thoughtful, and contemplative, and
those are all qualities that we all possess. So, you know, trying
to find how to bring them in balance. And so we have like a
primary and secondary typically temperaments, and then the other
two are more subdued. So when you do, you can do tests, there's
online tests that that you can look into this, there's also a
book, it's called the temperament that God gave you, you can look
into that I forgot, is it hey, I think is Tim Miller here think is
the author, but look into that those texts can get them at the
library, they're everywhere, but they have a test to the back of
that book. But there's also online tests for free that you could just
do temperament and four temperaments, test, and quickly
take it or take it with your family. But it'll reveal to you
what, what's your predominant temperament, and then also look at
your family. And you'll see now what you're working with. And so
this is the kind of, you know, again, you know, self awareness,
that is so important to becoming, you know, more, you know,
actualized. And enriched as a human being is that you pay
attention to the, to the way that all that created you and then the
relationships that you have, and you just start becoming more aware
and empathic towards other people, instead of wanting everybody to be
a copy of you, which is what so many people do. It's like, well,
you should do things my way. Because my ways the best way, you
know, and that's what causes a lot of problems. But if you say, No,
we're all different. And I have to honor those differences and
respect those differences, and learn to navigate and learn how to
compromise and how to find common ground. It makes you a more, you
know, balanced person.
Okay, so, unfortunately, he listens, I realize is a bit long,
so we're not going to be able to do it. So next week, we're going
to have to push through a lot for our last session. So I'm going to
ask Yeah, that you guys, please read all the other remaining
diseases and also the follow up chapters as well. There's like
appendix is there's a lot of great contact here. But
for our discussion, read all the way up to 159, the root of all
diseases of the heart, because we're going to try very hard to
get through all of these Inshallah, and hopefully it will
move faster. Okay, are there any questions? Anything follow up?
Just go ahead. And again, for all of you for being here. We're
adding one more session. I apologize. Again, for anybody who
came last week thinking there was a session, we did announce it, but
some of you might have missed that, and I apologize for any
inconvenience on your part. But I again, appreciate your time and
commitment to coming inshallah we'll see you next week. Yes.
That's a good question.
You know what we could do that? That's a very good question.
Inshallah, I will check with Brother monitor to see if there's
any events happening. It's all about the space and in either, but
if there is any change to the session, please look out. For an
announcement. We might have a special post on the MCC newsletter
or on the Facebook page before you come because we might either have
an extended class or or I'll see Inshallah, I mean, I'm hoping that
we can do it, but are you guys up to doing another class if we have
to? Yeah. Okay. All right. I'll ask if that's even an option
because I don't know if his The schedule has, they have a lot of
events coming up. But inshallah we'll do our best. I won't. I want
to finish it. So if we have to stay here a little longer, we'll
just we'll just do it.
Yeah, that's what I'm going to check if I have to actually begin
earlier to get the three hours or but I liked that suggestion,
because I think that additional hour will really help inshallah.
Okay. All right. So just look out for those announcements will end
in a similar manner, Rahim. Spectacle Lahoma we have the
concerto in the ilaha illa. That is still fit according to what
your leg will answer in in Santa Fe hawser. Lol, Edina Hammond. Oh,
I'm so sorry. Head to toe. So we'll happy whatever. So
just go ahead and thank you again.