Hosai Mojaddidi – Purification of the Heart (Part 2)
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AI: Transcript ©
In our linemen shed on rajim Bismillah R Rahman r Rahim Al
hamdu lillah wa salatu salam ala Shivan MBI even more serene, say
that a woman will no have you been a Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa
Salam wa ala alihi wa sahbihi wa seldom at the Sleeman kathira. And
Salam alaykum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh Hamdulillah. Thank you
Welcome, everybody. For the second class of purification of the
heart, we're going to Inshallah, today actually dive into the text.
We had an assignment last week to cover the first four, I believe,
or five diseases. So I wanted to jump right in before actually, we
do that last week, because that was an introduction class. And I
really do want to hear from all of you I kind of made a general, you
know, statement in the beginning saying, All questions are welcome.
Anytime. We found though, because we're recording the class, and we
do have students watching it, it did cause some editing issues,
because the mic, right, they can't hear the question. There's a lot
of gaps. So what I'm going to ask for you to do today is hold your
questions until the end, for the q&a portion. Okay, if there's a
point that you need clarification on about the text, that's fine.
Like, if you need, you know, Oh, can you please repeat that that's
different. But if there's a specific question, or something
personal, that's not necessarily on the, you know, the material
that we're covering, but you just wanted to ask about, I ask that
you please reserve those questions for the end, in the q&a session,
inshallah. Okay, just because it helps with the editing of the
video for the recording. Okay, so welcome, again, everybody, I do
have some handouts for you, if someone can please help pass these
out. This is just essentially a list of the diseases of the heart
that we're going to be covering. Some of the ones on here aren't
exactly the ones in the book, but that's okay. It's a reference for
you, you know, sort of like a glossary of terms for quick
review, if you need to look up something real quick. And also, if
you want to just take side notes, on certain things, feel free. This
was actually put together by our very own chef Rami, he was kind
enough to share it with me, when he heard I was teaching the class
to benefit all of you. So please keep him in your da. He's also as
you remember, the one who wrote the biography on emammal Moto that
we shared last week. So
now, with that said,
I think we're ready to begin inshallah. So the reading
assignment that we had for last week, was to continue reading the
introduction, right, which is a few pages long, the commentary,
and then to go through the first four, maybe five diseases if we
can get to all of those. So the introduction to this text, did
anybody have any specific questions or anything related to
the introduction? If so, again, we can we can talk about that now. Or
if you want to reserve it for the end, that's fine. But I did have a
few
points that I had highlighted, just to reiterate what we talked
about last week, with regards to shame, if you remember, we kind of
spoke a little bit about the importance of everybody,
of not suppressing the internal shame that we all have, right?
That that's part of our fitrah it's part of the wellness pond
that have created us. So to actually allow for remorse, to
settle in to the heart, to feel guilt, and to not fall into
despair, of course, but to just sit with that feeling of
discomfort, as a as a means of again, drawing closer to Allah
subhanaw taala. Because with the knowledge that oz patha loves the
one who repents,
making Toba should not, you know, constrict us, right? If you know
that it was meant that loves the repentant, it should actually be
an opportunity that you seek to draw closer to us better sometimes
it's hard to, you know, if everything is going great in life,
I mean, gratitude, of course is a great, you know, means to also you
know, reflect and to get closer to us Panda, but sometimes it does
help to, you know, sit in a room in solitude, you know, faced up
Qibla being in a place of pure or be in a state of purity. And just
think back on whatever you've done, that you're not necessarily
happy about, that you've done. And then let your let that remorse
settle in but then go to that awareness that you know Allah
you're so forgiving, you know, and in the fact that
You've, you've told us, you know that even if your sins accumulate,
you know, like the foam of the ocean. But as long as we're in
this state of remorse and guilt and you know, real true desire to
repent, that we're beloved to you, that's so beautiful because you
know, in many of our cultures, unfortunately, we're not taught
that right? Many of our cultures were taught to, to just be ashamed
of ourselves, once you do anything that is blameworthy or bad. It's
like a scarlet letter branded on you. And you just have to walk
around with your hung your head Hello, and feeling horrible about
yourself. And certain groups, I think, feel that a lot more, you
know, certain back cultural backgrounds, I feel like they do
really shame people a lot more than others. But it's
unfortunately, something that's very common. And I deal with this
a lot with,
you know, I do spiritual counseling. So I have a lot of
people that come to me because they can't get over something, you
know, that maybe their parents told them, you know, when they
were younger, or just something that they've done, because they've
been conditioned to think that they're spoiled, you know, that
they're rotten now, because of whatever it was that they did. And
it's hard for them to get over that. And I've had people reach
out to me even on social media, asking how do you get over a past
sin, like, I know, God's the most forgiving, I know all that. But I
just can't seem to forgive myself, right. And it's a lot of it, like
I said, has to do with culture and family. So it's really nice to
just remove your distance yourself from all of that. And realize, and
this chapter addresses that, that, you know, shame with illustrata is
a good thing. And it's an opportunity to really feel his
love to just know that you are being enveloped in that moment.
And that you are more beloved to him than the one who worships
beautifully. So I think it's really good to reflect on that
section.
And that's why, like, on on my book, so I do have a new book, but
I was still referencing my old books, I was writing notes. But
this the section where he talks about voting, right, which is to
feel humbled, that's related, you know, once you are in the practice
of, of,
of, you know, feeling repenting, it should put you in this state of
humility. And this is what we all want in order to proceed with this
purification process. This is why we're doing this, we're, we're
going through this cleansing, pre cleansing sort of process of
really seeing ourselves, you know, in, in truth, right? Sometimes
when you're looking at, you know, in certain years, they're
unforgiving, right, they have they, they magnify, you know,
everything, your pores, your blemishes, but it's good sometimes
to do that on a spiritual level, right. And so, but the outcome of
that is that you're in a humbled state, because once you're in a
humbled state, then you start accepting that you know, what, I
have a lot to work on. And now I'm ready to study these diseases in
depth and to start having honest conversation with myself. What
applies to me, because you know, some of these diseases, you might
not feel like you have others, you might be like, Oh, my God, you
know, and I'll share, like, there were a couple of diseases when I
was we're in this class where it was shocking, because you'd never
think, you know, you have something unless until it's
actually, you know, really explained to you how it manifests.
And then it's like stuff for a while, like, wow, I never, you
know, no, we all have very good opinions of ourselves, right? So
nobody wants to accept that they have a character flaw. And that's
what this book is all about. It's about character flaws, right? So
once it's actually explained to you, and it's defined to you, and
then you're reading it, you're like, Oh, my God stuff. But again,
if you start off with that state of total humility, that that's a
possibility. Right? That you've been humbled to the state or yeah,
I'm actually going to read the rest of this text with the
understanding that I could be afflicted with all 25. Right? I'm
not above this, you know, that's why I'm here because I'm gonna
purify myself but not to ever think like, oh, you know, that I'm
too. I'm good. I was raised with good values. I was raised with
this and recent No, because these things are very subtle. And that's
what we're gonna we're gonna learn as we continue. Alright, so
and then on the section where he talks about the purification
process, that's pretty much what I just sort of addressed right.
purifying the heart is a process. First, one must understand the
necessity of having a dog with a love, which we talked about last
week, and the importance of fulfilling its requirements as
they have just been stated. Second, one must be aware of the
diseases of the heart, aware of their existence of their ailments,
and of the deleterious complications and troubles that
ensue from them and recognize that these diseases prevent one from
attaining this
added knowledge of the diseases of the heart their causes and how to
remove Remove them is an obligation on every sane adult
human being. So again, reiterating that this is a photo is for every
single person.
Okay, and then we talked also about the different types of heart
slash last week, right, the different eight hearts. One of
them we talked about was the blackened heart and on page 20,
there's a hadith or get I'm sorry if the pages are off, but they're
on the section after that section of purification. On the following
page, there's the Hadith, the prophet most of them stated that
if the son of Adam sins, a black spot appears in the heart, and if
the person repents, it is erased, but if he does not, it continues
to grow until the whole heart becomes pitch black. So that's
the, you know, the citation for that reference there.
Okay. All right, Bismillah. So, just a quick summary of that
introduction. I hope you all read it. Now, we're gonna go ahead and
start Bismillah on the very first disease here, which is
miserliness. So I'm gonna read the poem. And then we're gonna get
into the actual text and the discussions with that.
So verses 16 to 25, on miserliness. Now, then, the
refusal to give what is obliged, according to sacred law, or to
virtuous merit is the essence of miserliness, which is mentioned
among the diseases of the heart. As for the obligations of sacred
law, they are such things as a cat supporting one's dependents, and
right to do to others and relieving the distressed. Examples
of virtuous merit include not nitpicking over trivialities.
Avoiding This is even more important with respect to a
neighbor, a relative or a wealthy person, or when hosting guests or
concerning something in which such behavior is inappropriate, such as
purchasing a burial shroud or a sacrifice a sacrificial animal, or
purchasing something you intend to donate to the needy. The someone
who makes matters difficult for one whose rights clearly render
this inappropriate to do so. Such as a neighbor has indeed torn away
the veils of dignity. This is as the majestic and guiding sages
have stated, this is comparable to one who fulfills his obligations
without good cheer, or who spends from the least of what he
possesses. Its root is love of this world for its own sake, or so
that the self can acquire some of its fleeting pleasures. So right
away the definition and causes of miserliness as you might already
provides here, he says, Remember, Luke brings to the forum, the
discussion of these diseases, their ideology, and how to cure
them. So that's what we have in the beginning of those verses. The
first disease miserly excuse me, the first disease speaks of his
miserliness it is first not because it is the worst of
characters, but because of alphabetical ordering in Arabic,
so the whole right starts with a bat. So that's why he's listed at
first. So just he's making that point that, you know, it's not
necessarily the root or the first, you know, diseases just for that
reason. And then he mentioned two aspects, one relates to the sacred
law, Sharia that is the rights due to God and His creation. The other
pertains to Moodle. IO, which is an Arab is an important Arabic
concept or connotates, manliness and valor. In pre Islamic Arab
culture, valor was a defining concept, it is similar to western
ideals of chivalry and virtue. So in the first, you know, definition
of misers minutes, we're looking at, you know, your, you know, how
you are with the, you know, with the sacred law with with the
obligations that are put on you, are you a miser when it comes to
fulfilling your rights, right, giving what at what almost pant
that asks of you, in terms of, there's a cat that we pay the
setup for that we pay, right, this is part of our, our tradition,
that we are obliged to pay these things. So if you have a hard time
giving to those things, this is a sign of boho like, every time you
know, the season comes around, to to give as a cat, you know, it's a
yearly thing that we offer, that it's you know, you get
constricted, it's hard for you, you're trying to you know, look
for loopholes on how to, you know, cut the the amount that you give,
or you don't give it all and there are some people who actually do
not fulfill this. You know, this is one of the five pillars of
Islam we have to give, but there are some people who just
completely don't don't give us a cat, right? Or if there's
opportunities to help in charitable causes. But again, you
feel this constriction and it's usually because you have a lack of
true understanding that whenever you give for the sake of argument
that is your wealth being lessened, right, is it being
diminished when we give for the sake of a loss partner we have to
believe with firm your pain
that it's never a deficit, right? So you know, when you're like
doing your accounting, you know, balancing checks and your
checkbook, and you have to subtract. You don't do that when
you get for the sake of almost pathetic, because it's actually
the opposite. You're purifying the wealth that could be from, you
know, haram or you know, whatever sources that are not that you're
not sure about onshore sources, you're purifying that wealth, but
it's also a means of actually increasing your wealth. But if you
don't have that understanding, what happens is you become very
constricted by the idea of giving. And so this is a sign of a miser,
right? And there's many. Actually, let me just quickly pull up
some other Hadith
that also discusses Well, in the Quran, we have verse chapter four,
verse 37. All Estrada says those who are miserly and enjoying
miserliness on other men and hide what Allah has bestowed upon them
of His bounties, and we have prepared for them for the
displeased disbelievers a disgraceful torment. So I was
proud that this is one of the most, you know, wretched qualities
to be a miser, it's really looked down upon, right, because, you
know, you're again, denying the bounty of all strata. And as he
mentioned in that first section, that the root cause of this is a
hub of dunya you have, you have this attachment to worldly
possessions, and wealth, and you don't want to separate from them.
And that's why it's so hard to to get, right. But it's just
considered a really a terrible quality to have. And then there's
a hadith where a smart report of the Prophet saw a satellite and
said, um, said, spend in charity, and do not count it, lest Allah
counted against you. Do not hoard it, lest Allah withhold from you.
And this is why, you know, we have that understanding that when you
give, you should give, you know, with your right hand in a way that
your left hand doesn't even know what you're giving, right. So
that's why when we say don't count it, like, you know, sometimes
they'll have, you know, I'm sure we've all been in gatherings where
it's like, okay, we're doing a quick, you know, fundraising pitch
or trying to raise money for so and so cause everybody's digging
in their purses, right? And so if you see $1 Bill, the of giving
with without this issue, right, without this worry, is that you
just pull and give, you're not sitting there going, let me
calculate here, right? Do I need this for later? Am I gonna you
know, you're just like, oh, there's a need. I'm, there's a
call to action, I'm responding. And your heart is just like to
look at on a law, whatever that amount was, I gave it for the sake
of Allah. And Allah is well aware of my Nia. And I just want to help
the situation, you know, and 111. So you give without that burden of
wanting to know specifically, what did I give? Right? So that's the
best way to give when you're when you want to be free of this
particular disease. It's been hagit said that the meaning is, I
think it's yeah, it's related to this hadith is do not store wealth
in a vault and thus being miserly and giving charity, lest you are
recompensed in the same way for that. So, you know, don't look at
your wealth, like something that you need to hold on to, right? For
whatever reason, because the worst of people are those who are miser
because they say they benefit not in this world, right? Because they
don't use their wealth. They're hoarding it. And then on the day
of judgment, I was probably I was going to ask them about their
wealth. So it's like you're the ultimate loser. Because it's like
you had opportunity to actually enjoy it. And this one you didn't.
And now, it's going to be a possible reason for you to be
punished for it. So why put yourself in that position? Right.
And then this is also another really interesting point. The
miserly, you know,
holds or clings to his wealth. Right. The word for clean in
Arabic is Masek. Okay, which is derived from another Arabic word,
which is what does anybody know?
Constipation, okay.
So just let that image, you know, settle for a second. But Miserly
people are those who are unable to let go of something that is
otherwise harmful to them, right? The same way that someone who is
constipated is not able to let go right of something that harms
them. So think of that if you are someone who has a hard time with
letting go of your wealth. This is what you're likened to. It's not
something that we should ever want to be associated with. Right? And
that's why the prophesied so instead, God has made what is
excreted from the son of Adam, a metaphor for the world. So think
about that, that you know, the world. This is all it comes down
to it's all going to disappear. It's all going to go to waste at
some point. So it's, you know, it's like it
due to what we excrete, you know, and that's why hoarding it and
having so much value in for it is harmful because you're holding on
to against something that's going to benefit you not in this world.
And like I said, perhaps you know will harm you in the next. So
those are, again, the qualities of borehole. Let's look at the rest
of the commentary here, this minute.
So it goes on to talk about, you know, valor, right chivalry, and
especially for those who do have wealth. This is, you know, to be
generous, to be magnanimous, with your wealth is a noble quality we
should, for those of whoever has been blessed, you know, with with
abundance, and most of us if we're really being honest, we have, and
if we compare our lifestyles with the way that people in the rest of
the world live, we are absolutely in abundance. And we do we are
considered in the top, you know, wealthy, you know, point 00 or
whatever 1%, you could, you know, I'm sure calculate with with
respects to the rest of the world, we're considered amongst the
elite, right? We have clean running water, we can choose our
meals every day, we can, you know, I mean, to that level, it's like,
if you have a craving, you know, you can order it within minutes or
maybe an hour, it's at your door. You know, I mean, I don't know, we
might not have servants who are running around for us, but in us
in a way, isn't that the same? Right? That it's, it's so easy now
to get whatever we want. Whereas there's people all over the world
who have never had a meet before, who've never tasted meat, because
they don't have, you know, the luxury of that work or their
water, to have a, you know, clear glass of water. That's like a new
concept to them, because it's likely that their water is dark,
and God knows what's in it. Right. So we have to appreciate that. We
are amongst the wealthy. And so what does that mean? What's the
responsibility on us? It's that we had generosity, that that were
magnanimous and more generous, right, that we actually,
you know, we're, we have that spirit of wanting to share our
wealth not, you know, just keep it for ourselves. Right. And so when
we talk about both Well, that's the other. You know, part of it is
one is with, with respects to the sacred launch idea and what is
expected, but also the other is with respects to the creation of
the last part that how are you in terms of being generous with other
people, you know, this is another, you know, you might fulfill your
duties, because you, you know, feel obligated, but then if you're
not, if you don't have that spirit of generosity, to share your
wealth with others, and to you know, you know, give gifts, for
example, or welcome people to your home, this is a sign, right. And
there are some people who just don't like to do those things. But
they own themselves, they'll spend, right, so it's for
themselves and their family, or people that are, they're going to
somehow benefit, it's fine. But they don't have that same spirit
with other people. So if you want to be free from this diseases,
what you want to look at, like, how am I in terms of my, you know,
just way of being with other people? You know, if you go out to
a restaurant, and let's say you have the means, you know, and you
know that there are people who are in the gathering who don't have
the means? Are you the one who offers and says I got you, you
know, I got the bill, don't worry about it, or I'll pay for your
portion of it? Or do you just sit there and you know, you know what
I mean? So think about that next time you're in those, you know,
opportunities where you can show generosity, what is it that holds
you back? What's that voice in your head that says don't? And
we're talking about if you have the means obviously, if you don't
have the means it's different, right? But, but that's just
something to again, listen to that internal voice of yours. What is
it that speaks to you? Are you worried about what you know that
you're, you're losing because again, whenever you're giving for
the sake of loss, by the end, if you're doing something like that,
even as a generous act for someone else, it's you can do it for the
sake of Allah, I'm trying to help someone out who I know is
potentially, you know, maybe they're out of work, you know,
maybe they don't have a job right now they lost their job, or they
laid off, or you know, that they have student debts or debts, you
know, whatever it is. They just recently got married. And you
know, that's stressful. A lot of young couples are in debt already,
when they started during their lives together, because marriage
is such a big expense having a big wedding and not that, you know, I
certainly don't advocate that. But unfortunately, many of our
cultures, that's just the status quo, that's what you do. Right?
You have to have this big productions. And so what that does
is it sets you off right for a life of hardship, you're playing
catch up. And so if you know that you're out again, with someone in
financial circumstances difficult than just, you know, what's your
response to that?
Right. That's how you listen to your voice. And also, if you're,
if you have someone owes you a debt, right, and that's addressed
also in this section, how do you treat that person? Right? If you
are owed money by someone and you know that it's difficult for them
to pay you back? Are you the type that forgives the debt? And says,
Don't worry about it that $500 That, you know, I lent you a year
or two years ago, just don't sweat it. Because for you $500 isn't a
big deal, right? Maybe you have 100 Law, much more than that in
your bank account. So do you have that generous spirit? Are you the
one who's every single time you see a person who who owes you
money? That's the first thought that comes to your mind? They
never paid me back. You know, and you see this, I've heard people
say this before about people who owe them money, right? It's like,
oh, you know, she owes me this amount, but she can go on
vacation, you know, but she's got that, you know, Louis Vuitton bag,
or she's, you know, out at this fancy place. And people get really
resentful, you know, because it's like, well, why isn't she paying
me back? Or why isn't he paying my debt? Right? But again, if you
don't have a need for that specific amount of money, wouldn't
it be better for you to just call that person up and say, Listen,
don't worry about it, it's just a gift. Accept that from me to you,
you know, and imagine the reward that you get from Allah subhanaw
taala for forgiving that debt, you know, and not putting people under
pressure. So that's the other quality of someone who's free from
this disease, is that they're easy and gentle on people who owe them
money. Right, that you don't you're not someone who's just so
you know, again, obsessed with wealth and money that it's always
at the tip of your tongue and you can't wait to to you know, mention
these things to people. We don't you know, you don't do that if
you're again, someone free from this disease. So, if you look at
again, on the very last I think paragraph before he gets into the
treatment,
Imam where it says Imam Ali Imam, it said that the worst person is
the miser in this world, he is deprived of his own wealth and in
the Hereafter, he's punished right. So as we were saying
earlier, so think about that Mela, free us from from this terrible
disease.
So what's the remedy?
Right. How do you free yourself from this disease, the treatment
again, it was mentioned it here in the poem, so let's read those
verses. Treat this by realizing that those who achieved a fluence
did so only by exhausting themselves over long periods of
time, thus finally accumulating what they sought. Meanwhile, just
as they approached the heights of earthly splendor, deaths, suddenly
assails them treat miserly Ness by also recognizing the disdain shown
to misers and the hatred people have for them even hatred amongst
misers themselves. With this same treatment treat the person whose
hearts ailments is love of wealth, so we'll get to love of wealth
soon, but it's the similar treatment, which is a realizing
that wealth, you know, for most people isn't, you know, a
birthright that aren't necessarily born into a fluence, a lot of
people do work really hard. So sometimes, you know, there's this
sort of an envy tied to miserliness, right? Like, you're
looking at other people who are wealthy and just, you know,
looking at their lifestyles, and you want that for yourself. So
that's why this need to hold on to your wealth, you know, comes into
play, because you want to have what they have, you know, they
have the nice house, they have the big car, you know, the nice car,
they get to go in, you know, globe trotting all over the world. So
there's all this, you know, envy that builds up in your heart,
which makes you think, like, well, I want that to if they get it, I
want it right. But a lot of people who are wealthy, they worked hard
to get there, but also they suffer, there's, you know, looking
around us look at our society, celebrity celebrities, for
example. I mean, if we're really being honest, they may, you know,
show their lives as being amazing and fabulous, and everything is
going you know, perfectly for them. But a lot of them have
serious problems, right? Serious Mental health issues, a lot of
them are, you know, they're they're either, you know, on some
form of medication or they're self medicating with other, you know,
things like alcohol and god knows what else other vices, you know,
but this is all because there's, you know, you know, wealth comes
with, with a lot of tribulation and that's why if you know, people
who are really wealthy, they'll tell you, it's a tribulation to
have a lot of wealth. So not to, I guess, you know, just focus on the
benefits of using you know, of wealth and having wealth and
that's where you want to, you know, hold on to your wealth, but
actually realizing it comes with a price, you know, that's one of the
treatments. And then the other treatments is again, remembering
the death, you know, can sail at any time, any of us. So what's the
point of again, hoarding wealth when not enjoying wealth, and then
You know, all this pot that takes you.
And now, you know, you've you've been, I mean, like you didn't
enjoy it. And as we mentioned, you have to pay for it and the next
life by being asked about it. So reflect on those things. And the
third one is to realize that miserliness is such a terrible
quality, that most people can't stand the miser even amongst other
people, they, they have a disdain for one another. So, you know,
really trying to distance yourself as much as possible from those
behaviors, and then proactively, we want to watch our response to
moments of giving in charity, and pay attention to your thoughts,
pay attention to what it is that comes to your mind, when you're in
an opportunity to give what's the first thought you have, okay, and
also get in the practice of not counting your wealth. So when
you're in those moments to give, reach for what you have, and what
I would actually do, and I know people who do this martial arts
actually beautiful quality, is they'll have like,
either money or something that they've prepared in advance, like,
let's say, in your car, if you're gonna go down an area where you
know, there's a lot of homeless, right, and they sometimes might
come up to you or you know, put you on the spot. But if you are
prepared, then what you do is you have little baggies, you know, or
something that's already, like portioned out, and you give and
you give with honor, by the way, you know, when we give to anybody
in need, we don't give as a way of like, Oh, I'm better than you,
here you go, you don't want to make it this exchange that makes
them feel low and bad. Because in actuality, every time we give to
people, they're the ones who are honoring us with the opportunity
to show our generosity and to gain the pleasure of last part that so
we should look to them with that I'm not the I'm above you, right,
and here's my charity to you, because you're below me. So try to
honor the people who come to you, if Allah crosses paths, you know,
you and someone, honor them in a way if they if you have an
opportunity to give them a meal, for example, you know, I did this
once and Hamdulillah you know, I'm just sharing as an example. But I
remember she just felt so like shocked, you know, that, that I
would even do this. And I wrote about this on Facebook a few years
back when it happened. But I had met her she came to me in the
mall, I was in the mall with my kids at a at a store they were
playing. And you know, there's a lady who had a shopping cart, and
she was visibly homeless, you could tell she tapped me on the
shoulder saw me and my hijab, and she's like, somebody's gone. And
then, you know, we started talking, and she apparently, you
know, Allah knows her, you know, whether or not everything she was
telling me was true, but I believed her. She that she had, at
one point, actually been very accomplished and very successful.
She was going on to tell me about her life. She was in the tech
world, and she traveled the world. That's why she knew some Arabic
words. She had been around Muslims before. And she's like, I love
Muslim people. They're so amazing. But she was in a car accident and,
you know, fell on hard times lost a lot of her wealth. But she said,
you know, she had she was she she lived a very good lifestyle for a
long time. And so
we got to talking and then I invited her to lunch, you know, at
the food court. It was what was available at that time. But she
kind of was like a first, you know, shocked that I even talking
to her for as long as I did, because she she did you know, she
had a smell. And I'm just being honest here, you know, it was
very,
you could you could definitely smell you know, so she said to me
that most people like are repulsed by her and they ignore her. And
she actually when she comes in the mall, she's usually chased out
because of the smell and her presentation and the cart and the
whole scene. So I told her not to worry about that. I said,
Inshallah, I'm not sure what I said, No, don't worry, I won't let
you get kicked out, you know, let's just go together and eat.
And so we sat together and we ate and she just was really like
shocked, you know? But that's that's why did I do that is
because this is what our Dean teaches us right? That you honor
people wherever level they're at and try to make them feel human.
And unfortunately, we've gotten to a place in our world in our
society where we really look down on people who are you know, who
are in these situations and so we don't give with honor but when you
give you want to give with honor. So I have friends who mashallah I
just I'm so amazed by them because they'll have like little kits
prepared, you know, for like the homeless, that have everything
that they would need, you know, toiletries, toothbrush, you know,
just things that they might not have easy access to. But they
prepare beautifully, you know, it's really done nicely so that
when they receive it, it's like to them that's like wow, you know,
what a nice gesture. You know, nobody ever cheat
says this way. So you can do that, you know, if you if you really
want to work on if you feel like this is something that afflicts
you, or that you have an issue with trying to think of creative
ways like that, to take care of this, you know, so that it
doesn't, you know, because again, you just don't want to feed into
this. You see people with age becoming more and more, right?
They hoard their wealth even more and more, right. Because it's a
disease. That's why you have shows like boardrooms, I don't know, if
you guys have seen those shows, right? Those are really hard to
watch.
Because you see stuff for a lot of the effects of someone who doesn't
have any control of this at all, like it is just given in
completely, to the point where they're accumulating wealth that
is obstructing their life, you know, from the ceiling and floor
to the ceiling, they have goods that they'll never use. But that's
what it all comes from. It's like this one desire to just keep
getting and getting and getting. So may Allah protect us from all
of that, but that's, um, those are the treatments of that particular
disease. Inshallah, any questions related to miserliness that we can
address?
Yes. Like I said,
you should have taken into account what we're giving
society? So we have to account for almost Yes, unfortunately.
So,
if you're going to get
should you at least be selected?
Very good question. 100.
Here, the brother asked for those who are, again, we're recording
this for students elsewhere, who are not able to attend. So the
brother asked if you're going to give should you be selective, and
of course, you have the prerogative, you know, almost
pilot has given you wealth, and you have the prerogative to give
to who whichever, or whoever you choose to give to. And so you can,
you know, use your own discernment, if you have, you
know, a particular organization or group or maybe I mean, you know,
ideally you want to look at, you know, sort of like your circles,
right? What's your inner circle would be your family and friends
is there anybody within my family, the people closest to me that are
in need, and then you go beyond that, you'll get to your
community, and then beyond that, and so you can, you can absolutely
do that, and have, you know, sort of list, you know, of what or what
causes or relief causes up speak to you, for me, for example,
orphans are, you know, they have my heart. So, if there's anything
that has to do with orphans, I love, for example, give like
Foundation, which is another wonderful organization that
originated here in the Bay Area, if you don't know about them, look
them up. But they're amazing. They do incredible work, they go around
the world, and they, you know, they they create orphanages that
are, that are beautiful, you know, they're not just, you know,
buildings that are cold and remote, you know, they're just,
they really put a lot of effort into creating homes, and giving
these orphans an experience of being loved and in an environment
where they feel that their lives are being enriched, you know,
every day by teachers and like people, caretakers who take care
of them, but look up their work. They're amazing. And again,
they're based here in South Bay. So you know, that for me, is what
speaks to me. Someone else might say, you know, I'm, you know, I
give to disaster relief, you know, or war torn countries or, you
know, and so you can absolutely, yeah, I hope that answers your
question does.
Hamlet,
oh, this is called give light foundation, guess give light, it's
one word. And DN. Alia is a very dear friend of mine. She is the
founder. Her story is amazing. She has YouTube videos where she
actually tells she's another incredible story because she she
worked for Procter and Gamble for several years very successful in
her, you know, in the corporate world. She left all of that to now
serve 1000s of orphans worldwide. So look up her work my shot, very,
very inspiring. hamdulillah Okay, so then, I think on this list
booklet is here, it should be
on it. For those of you who don't have we have a list. I mean, a
handout that I have here, you're more than welcome to come pick it
up. But oh, yeah, it's is it? Is it the first one?
Oh, there it is. Okay, stinginess, sorry, I was looking for
miserliness. So synonym. Stingy this yes, it's right there.
Okay, so you can again please take a copy if you need it, and then
use this if you want to just make little notes here and there on the
side about, you know, whatever speaks to you in this discussion
and Sharma
Alright, I think we can move on to wantonness the next one.
So wantonness, and this is, verses 3031.
Asked for the disease of wantonness its definition is
successive mirth, which according to the people of knowledge is
having excessive exuberance treated with hunger and the
remembrance of the Hereafter reminding yourself that God says
He does not love the excessively joyful, which alone is a
deterrent. Okay the next to see the definition and treatment the
next diseases wantonness bubbled along with excessiveness, an
unbridled desire to, to need and want more. The word about that has
several meanings the inability to bear blessings bewilderment,
dislike of something undeserving of dislike, and reckless
extravagance. MMO loot says that according to the people of
knowledge, it is defined as excessive mirth and exuberance, he
then says that its cure is intentionally engaging in hunger
and reflecting on death. So this disease is, you know, pretty self
explanatory, but having this you know, this desire for
excessiveness, right, and we just talked about that we're, we see it
all around us, right? People just wanting to accumulate more and
more living beyond your means, right, would be an example of
wantonness. And this is absolutely part of our society, people are in
debt. They're just they, their, you know, their attachment to
worldly things is so great, that they're willing to put themselves
in financial peril for it right. And so a sign of again, having no
restraint when it comes to these things, spending on things
excessively spending on things that are, you know, maybe not of
great value, but because you want a status, you know, their status
that comes with having that thing is also an example of wanton this
right.
At the bottom, it says wanton This is a disease to which the worlds
of fluence societies are particularly vulnerable. Again,
we're one of the top wealthiest nations in the world, right, China
being ahead of us, I'm not sure if anybody else's, but they were the
top two. In societies that are extremely pleased with their
standard of living, their extravagance and hubris are
obvious. One sign of these conditions is the ease with which
people enter into debt. And living contentedly with it, people are
consciously living beyond their means, in order to maintain the
appearance of affluence. This is a product of wantonness willingly
falling headlong into debt in order to achieve a certain
material standard of living, right, and how many people do we
know who do that right? And not only do they, you know, harm
themselves, right, by falling into debt, racking up, you know, credit
card after credit card, but they'll actually borrow money from
other people, in order to maintain a certain lifestyle, you know,
have this investment or have this and it's again, it's all because
they're, they're really, so attached to the idea of, of being
wealthy, that they'll do anything to get there, even if it means
putting someone else in a hardship, right. So just to see
the effects that it can harm more than just the person themselves.
So the treatments the Imam offers here is to, you know, willingly,
intentionally feel the effects of not having, I mean, if you want so
much, and you want one, one, at all costs, then try to not have,
right, deprive yourself deprivation. So fasting is one of
the ways that we deprive ourselves when we fast. We are, everything's
accessible to us. But we're forcefully putting ourselves in a
situation of not right, giving into that desire, for the reasons
that we know, right? When we fast, whether it's during Ramadan, or
outside of Ramadan, the intention is to put ourselves in that state
of deep reflection about all of the blessings that was passed that
has given us to remember, you know, just how you know how people
all over the world who don't have live, right, because it's very
easy when you're in societies like we are to get, you know, kind of
diluted, you know, about about the way people live in the rest of the
world. As I mentioned the beginning. We live in such
abundance that if you've traveled the world, you know what I'm
talking about, right? People just do not have the level of
convenience and ease that we have. My husband I were recently
watching a show, I can't remember what it was, but it had, you know,
images of a country in South America and I just remember going
stuff for a while like, we're so like, ungrateful for what we have
the ease with which we live and just civil obedience, the fact
that we don't have to worry
about things, you know, happening when we step outside of our homes
or, you know, we can move travel safely, you know, we, we have to
be really grateful for that. Most people don't live that way. So
what you do when you fast is you have those moments of reflection,
because it actually you feel starvation, you feel the effects
of hunger, and that reminds you like, oh my god, you know, imagine
if I didn't have food, you know, every day, you know, or at a
certain hour, I didn't have, you know, the opportunity to indulge
in whatever I wanted, which we usually do, well, we'll go hours
and hours with nothing, but then we're very specific about the
exact thing that we want, when we can have it right, the menu has
been, you know, we have the menu in place, or the restaurants been
called the food's been delivered and whatever has been made. But we
get our cravings, you know, on when it's time well, most people
don't have that luxury right. So when you have this diseases of the
heart to forcefully deprive yourself to do that is actually
inshallah going to help your your spiritual state.
And the second aspect to the remedy is to remember death in the
hereafter. So you'll find me this is just the first class or first
class where we're looking into the diseases. But as we proceed
through the book, the remembrance of death is actually a treatment
for many of these diseases. And keep that in mind. Because how
often do we really reflect on death? Right? Again, this is
another part of our another byproduct of living in a really
affluent society is that death is hidden from us, right? We don't
really even see one thing, one of the things I noticed is, in other
societies, the elderly are very much a part of the fabric of that
society, you'll see a lot of elderly walking around there just
be you know, in public places, in squares, or in like shopping
areas, or wherever markets, you'll see a lot of elderly people. I'm
always amazed when I travel at that, like, we went to Turkey
earlier last year, and I loved it. That was probably one of my
favorite things about going to Turkey. I was like, Oh my God,
there's so many elderly everywhere. Like they were just,
you know, chillin and hanging out and you saw like, you know, their
little grandkids or other people just you know, around them. But it
was really beautiful to be immersed in a, in a society that
actually brings the elderly out in public spaces. Whereas here, you
notice, we don't have that what do we do we tuck away the elderly in
nursing homes, right? Or in elderly communities like here in
the Bay Area. Do you guys know about rossmore? All right, do you
know where rossmore is? It's not that far. From here. It's by
Walnut Creek. rossmore is an entire like, you know, city. For
elderly. It's like they're hidden in their own little city. And if
you go to Ross more, you'll feel it. Like they drive very slowly.
rossmore. So be careful. Do not drive fast. You know, you want to
spook, spook them. I know Ross Marbury, I used to work for
someone at Merrill Lynch and we used to do, you know, financial
seminars and workshops, and his demographic of choice was the
elderly in us more, because they'd come out, you know, they actually
would come out Sunday morning, nine o'clock, or eight o'clock in
the morning for a continental breakfast and listen to a two hour
long speech on on stocks and bonds, you know, but we used to
call them and they were so sweet. And they were so thankful, like
someone's actually calling them you know, most people when I used
to call to invite them, and most people as soon as they see a
number they don't recognize click, not the elderly, because they're
lonely, right? Many of them suffered a lot they have, you
know, they a lot of them are mentally there.
You know, they're, they're declining because of loneliness.
That's how sad our situation is, you know, and not just here, but
in, there's many articles you can read about, like the UK have a
real problem with this, like a lot of elderly are dying from sadness,
like that's their actual death reason, because nobody calls them
nobody takes care of them. Because we've done such a good job of
shunning them and hiding them. Why? Because we don't want to face
mortality, right? When you're, you know, when you're living in a
society that that glorifies or romanticizes youth and everything
youthful, youthful, youthful is praised than the opposite of that
is true, right? Anything that reminds you of aging and death is
not welcome. So that's what we've done here. And I know it's
unfortunate, but in our tradition, you know, the answer the treatment
for so many of these really serious problems that we have in
our world, like everyday life, is the remembrance of death. So it's
the complete opposite message. It's saying Don't forget death.
Because if you're afflicted with you know these diseases or
problems in your life, just remembering your mortality should
reset you right should recalibrate you to remember to treat your
family member as well. To remember to you know, pick up the phone and
go
call so and so, or to pay that debt back or to, you know, fulfill
an obligation or right. So the remembrance of death is huge. And
it's not a morbid thing. You know, I mean, when I was in, I'm just
remembering now, when I was in college, I used to, you know, be
the president of the MSA. So I would do different activities with
our, you know, the club, and one of the activities I did was to
have everybody come to a graveyard at nights and we went actually to
a graveyard, Oakland, I wish I knew which one it was. But a lot
of the people were spooked because they'd never even set foot in a
graveyard before. And now I'm asking them to come into the
graveyard like at night after hours, when, you know, it's kind
of a quiet, spooky place. And, but the purpose of that was like,
let's talk about death, you know, let's actually go through the
rites of death, what are the what happens after death, and now
you'll find no other tradition has as much information on death as a
slap, like the level of information we have about the
death process is incredible, right? We know like, as soon as
you know, the soul is taken, what happens and, you know, the
questioning in the grave. Just there's so much depth and detail
to that. And all of that is good for us to know, we should look
into it. And again, not like I have, you know, people that are
anytime you mentioned that they're just like, oh, shutter, because
it's like scary for them. But death is we're only afraid of what
we don't know, right? I mean, that's just fear. In general, most
of our fears are what we're unfamiliar with. But if you
actually become familiar with death, and you realize that, yes,
it's it is something that we should seek, you know, seek
protection from and ask us privately to give us a good ending
and all of that, we shouldn't be like, Yeah, you know, everything's
gonna be perfect, we don't have that guarantee. But that's where
those laws come into place. But once you again, read to the level
of detail that we have, and familiarize yourself with the
process of even washing a body, how many here for example, I've
ever washed the body before? Good, Mashallah.
Very good. It's encouraged to wash your body, you shouldn't run from
those opportunities. If you're ever put in a situation where
someone asks you, whether it's a family member, or even a stranger,
I've watched
two complete strangers, one was a murder victim. And one was a
convert who had no family members. Never met them in my life. But 100
other opportunity came, I was like, Okay, let's do this. It's a,
you know, 5k fire, they don't have anybody to wash them, you can't
just turn away. But if those opportunities come, don't put your
discomfort, you know, before the right that you can give this
person because you will. And I will say this sincerely, you will
benefit from that experience, it is hard on the stomach, like if
you have that weak sort of, it's hard spiritually to do, because
it's such a
clear reminder of what's going to happen to you and you had all
these thoughts will come to you. But I guarantee you, when you
leave that experience, and maybe in the days and weeks after to
reflect on the experience, it will make you a better person, it'll
make you connected more with your Lord. It'll make you appreciate
the people in your life more, you'll look at everybody, not just
your the elderly, because that's the other problem we have. When we
think of death, we think it only affects people who are kind of on
their way out. But that's not the case. And that's why they're
members of death is so important. Because it can assail any one of
us in any moment. And if you saw that video that was circulating
last week, just see that Chef who's giving the football Yeah,
how many people saw that he's giving a talk, right. And in the
middle of the talk, he literally says,
a law, those are his last words. And he just call us in the middle
of a football. So we should know that we if I was not that it
wasn't come at any time. But the frequent remembrance of DEV keeps
you in check. So that you watch yourself so that you watch the
tone of voice with what you talk to people, you know, like is their
arrogance in their their rudeness and, you know, in the way that I
spoke to them, did I take the rights of anybody, you know, it
constantly puts you in that state of, of of self, you know,
accountability, and that's why it's so important. But remember,
is of death, as I said is not just for certain groups, it's for all
of us. So you should also for me, for example, and I just thinking
about this yesterday, and I put out actually I was proud that I
says I can't remember the exact verse forgive me, but I'll try to
remember for next session. It's a verse that says we if we plan to
do anything, what should we say? What's the word that we should
use? Inshallah, right? This is the first thing of Quran
just like a muffin. Can you say please, reverse
Yes, this is the first thank you so much. Do you know the actual
reference of that was
open, Mashallah. And first, it's okay, which I will. Thank you. So
that's sort of the calf. Very good. Thank you. So that verse,
right, if you have anything to say, and this is related to the
story of Musa and feathered, right? That if you have anything
to say, do in the net, and tomorrow or tomorrow, say in sha
Allah, we should all be in the practice of this never, ever let a
moment like, you know, or a plan go without mentioning this and I
get like, I'm a stickler for this, especially with my family, like,
if they go, I'll see you, okay, I take care of Pisa, I'll see you
say, Inshallah, you know, or like when my husband travels, and
he'll, you know, say all this stuff, and you'll go, don't worry,
everything will be fine. I'll be back soon. And he'll say all this
and I'm waiting, waiting, waiting in Los Angeles, you know, as I
have, it's like, you have to be on it. Because, again, we don't know
what's going to happen, right? When, when that moment is going to
come. But you know, part of you know, that that remembrance is to
look at your family every single time they come home, securely and
safely. And everybody's tucked in, you have to be in an absolute
state of gratitude. I have that. Thank you a lot. And I know it
sounds like okay, well, you know, I don't want to attach a
catastrophize you know, every moment, but to have that level of
awareness that death is so imminent, always that every night,
they come home every day they go out, even if it's for a quick
errand, you know, go grab, you know, I'm gonna go grab a pizza,
or I'm gonna go you know, to the bank real quick, I'm gonna go fill
up the gas, if they make it home safely. Even if it's 1015 minutes
later, we're gone. You should be in a state of haunted. Because
again, that's how you know how many people do we know? Where they
didn't come? Right? I mean, I know personally, people write their
spouses went for a bike ride, for example, or a quick jog or went to
the gym. Young people not we're not talking 87 year old people who
have you know, heart conditions or diseases, I mean, a young person,
young people who, who went to the gym and they flat just fell flat
after going working out, you know, So death is like that. But that's
what we're talking about. We're talking about remembrance of
death, right? Not just as a subject, like death, but actually
getting to that level of real depth where you're connecting the
people in your life, your own self, obviously, you know, if you
died right now, or before we left, you know this gathering, would you
be proud? Would you be happy with your state with Allah? With with
your the way that you are with your family? Have you wronged
anybody that you wish you could? You know, correct. That's the
level of awareness you want to have when you're thinking about
death, and keeping that always in the back of your mind. And that's
part of our daily thicket, we should constantly be thinking
about this. This is prophetic. A prophesy said I'm told us member
death, right. So those are the,
the remedies for this particular disease. And that's why that whole
section on the at the end really speaks to that right. It says, The
second aspect of the remedy is to remember death. In the hereafter.
What is meant by remember here is not the common function of memory,
in which in which one merely calls up a fact without reflection. In
fact, no remedy mentioned in this book involves a philosophy
process. Each requires exertion and a true desire to achieve
success in its fullest sense. Freeing the heart of diseases like
wantonness requires the remembrance of the Hereafter, and
its various states and tumultuous scenes. For example, one should
reflect on the state of the grave, right? Which will either which
will be either a parcel of paradise or a pit of * May
Allah protect us from from, from the darkness of the grave and the
construction of the grave and expand our graves for us. But
really making again an intentional reflection on that and asking for
that, once a person dies, his journey in the hereafter begins,
right? So meditating not only on the process of death and death
itself, but also on the hereafter thinking about, and this is why
it's very important to familiarize ourselves with what all of that
is, there's so much content so much, ID so many books that have
been written on one of the books that I really recommend, I don't I
don't think I have it with me, but the lives of man, how many of you
have that book? Very good. It's a really good book, right? It goes
into the journey, the five different journeys of the soul,
the soul, you know, is on this journey from the beginning of
creation, right? That weren't when I was part that I created us in
the primordial realm and we had that you know, exchange where we
were he asked us Am I not your Lord, right. I stood up Macomb and
then we all answered by that, right, we all confirmed that's the
beginning of the journey right of the soul and then the womb and in
this world, and then the boat is off and then the ash had a day of
judgment and then the eater
In a life, so it goes in through all of those stages in depth, and
helps you to really visualize, you know, I mentioned last week, try
to get to the level of reflection where you can visualize the
scenes, you know, in your mind, you know, and some authors and
people who are speakers can go into great depth, you know, in
terms of description, you know, and they really can, can help you
do that, but, but not to turn away from topics that are like, death,
you know, because that's what unfortunately, again, this society
does, it just makes it so, you know, like, I don't want to talk
about things that bring me down, it's too depressing is too dark?
Well, if the byproduct of studying that or focusing on that is that
you become a better human being? Is it really that bad, right, that
you become a better person and that you appreciate your time?
Isn't that a good thing? Right? So you don't it's not a song, we're
asking you to study it for like hours on end, but just enough to
where it keeps you mindful? Um, to do that.
Let me just see, actually, in my notes here, for other verses,
and Hadith that I had related to this, yes.
Yes.
Yes.
Thank you just like oh, look at it very good. So sort of 1823 and 24
is the eye that talks about the importance of getting in that
habit of always saying in sha Allah when you're making any
plans, not just for, you know, the future, the distant future, but
today, even you have something to do later today in sha Allah, and
even on text messages, please get in the habit of that. Okay. And if
you need a shortcut, I am okay. We do I do it sometimes. But we know
what we're saying. Right?
So wantonness
let's see here
so it's the same
content here that we just went over, so I won't repeat that
inshallah. Okay, so next we have hatred, this Mala, let's go ahead
and get to the Oh, I'm sorry. Any questions on this section? Okay.
Let's go ahead to hatred Bismillah.
Okay, sorry, before we go on, I was just reading that I had some
notes here. So that last section, right on wantonness, it talks
about, again, just, you know, how you want and this is all over. So,
you know, don't feel too guilty if you have, you know, certain
qualities of this because it's ubiquitous, it's everywhere. It's
all around us. We're kind of bombarded with images that make us
inclined towards these things. So don't be too hard on yourselves.
But at the very last point that says, all those smiling people on
these billboards, right, because you see advertising and billboards
and commercials and everything that constantly, you know, glorify
a certain lifestyle that makes you might yearn for those things. Will
all of those people on those billboards who will someday dive
and stand before their maker, this is the ultimate destiny of all
human beings. This realization is the slayer of wantonness, so I
really liked that last line. So if you want to again, get rid of
these, this longing for material wealth is longing for even the
previous disease, right?
miserliness just reflect on the fact that it's all going to go
away. Next is hatred. Okay, so let's read the verses from the
poem. Another disease is hatred for other than the sake of Allah
subhana wa, tada. Its cure is to pray for the one despised this is
with the understanding that you have not done wrong if you are
repulsed by the hatred you harbor and do not act in accordance with
it to harm the person. So you might have a relationship that's
really difficult, you know, and it just, you just don't like a
person, you know? And that's, that's okay to not like people.
Okay. That's actually one of the first or one of one lesson that I
learned that I really appreciated because I think sometimes we have
this idea that to be a good Muslim. You have to like
everybody, right? And if you have problems with someone that means
you're a bad person. But this is not true. Some people gel and some
people don't. Some people get along really well. And some people
no matter how hard you try
Like, there's just, you know, something blocking, right the
hearts. But hatred is, again, when you have no real reason to, you
know, to have that feeling. It's just maybe and it can be very
superficial. There are people who can be very superficial. And I've
heard comments like this, oh, I can't stand her voice hate her
stuff. Like, how can you say that about someone's, you know, voice I
mean, that's something that they were given from Allah right. But
people can get so silly and superficial, and they give into
these really, you know, just, it's not a good, you know,
quality to have to use that word hatred. Like in my house, I tell
my kids, they're not allowed to say they hate anything else like
Italy is, you know, your bliss, okay, you can hate it bliss, but
even like someone like Donald Trump, you know, like, as much as
we have so much contempt for him for all of his policies, to have
hatred for someone like that is not a good sign in your heart,
because he's still alive, right? There's still hope. I know, it
might seem really, really, there's a long shot there. But, you know,
Allah is capable anything, right? We don't know. And so to have
hatred for a living human being, for a reason, other than the sake
of argument that which again, you know, like I said, to hate someone
who's alive, I mean, you're cutting them off from, you know,
from what, like you don't have, you can't say where their end is,
you have no idea, right? So you want to always keep like, you can
have hatred for their policies for their actions for their words, but
as a person, right, to condemn them already to *, and we
shouldn't do that. But there are people who are very quick to give
into those feelings was really negative, toxic feelings. And it's
because they just, you know, maybe that's normal in their world, like
everybody kind of talks like that. And it's, they've never been, you
know, like, hey, that's, you know, it's actually wrong to say that
about someone. So they've just, you know, gotten into that bad
habit, or they really have some deep work to do on them on
themselves, you know, because to go around bitter and angry at
everybody is just not a good reflection. So, hatred, you know,
for other than the sake of Allah. But again, the, the consolation
here is that second verse, that you're not held accountable. If
you aren't, you know, if you're if you're unhappy with those
feelings, you know, like it bothers you, right? It's not
blameworthy if you're feeling guilty about having those
feelings. And you know, and you definitely don't act on that when
it's blameworthy is that you're fine with it. You're like, oh,
whatever, it can't stand that person. Oh, well, you know, that's
a blameworthy quality. Or even worse, is that you actually act on
your hatred and you're now vindictive, and you're, you know,
just really poisonous as a person and you want to harm that person.
This is a level that's completely forbidden. But as long as it
bothers you that you have negative feelings towards someone and you
dislike their presence, or just don't like them, then Inshallah,
there's hope to work on that. Did you have a question? Yes.
Absolutely, absolutely. So again, it for the recording, I'm just
going to repeat. So the sister said that a lot of hatred comes
from jealousy. And that's absolutely true. And there is a
connection, you know, to some of the other diseases of the heart
with this particular one. So let's go ahead and read this section.
The definition and treatment the next disease is hatred, Bullock.
In itself. Hatred is not necessarily negative, right? It is
commendable to hate corruption, evil, disbelief, murder, lewdness,
and anything else that God has exposed as despicable. The
prophesy said, I've never disliked things because of their essences,
but because of what they manifested. So to have the ability
to hate is not the issue here because there are absolutely
things that, you know, that's what you know, is the appropriate
response. They weren't hatred, right. All of the things mentioned
here, oppression, you know, abuse all of those things we should
hate. And that's what we mean when we say hatred for the sake of
Allah supplant that because whatever Allah subhanaw taala
hates, we should hate and that is actually a sign of iman that you
are always you know, aligning your heart with that which pleases us
part of that and the prophesy center and that was displeases
them, you have the same right your hearts are aligned. So it's a
state of say, a sign of your Eman. A hatred or strong dislike for a
person for no legitimate reason is the disease of blood. Again,
legitimate is what unless they're doing something that we just
mentioned, that's really despicable and reprehensible.
You can't just hate people because they exist in a way that you don't
like, where they have a quality that you don't like
Are they have a look that you don't like, some people hate
people because of the way they look. I mean, we know that because
there's racists and, but I mean, like, beyond, you know, some
ideological reasons to hate them, we're talking just totally
superficial reasons I don't like their nose, or I don't like their
eyes or, you know, or whatever, you know, their teeth, it's like
such a lot. So we're, we're getting to the level where people
give in to these feelings on such a petty issues, that there's
absolutely no justification for that. And that's a disease of the
heart. So when you can, you know, make those statements easily, then
you have definitely a problem here. And then this beautiful
Hadith here in the second paragraph is really something for
all of us to reflect on. Because sometimes, you know, when we think
of really spiritually, like elevated people, or people who are
the closest to us, Pantera, we might assume that these are people
with a lot of knowledge, or they've done you know, a lot of,
you know, great, you know, you know, in terms of their badda
they're just, you know, really, really, you know, advanced, you
know, in terms of, of how much they've done, maybe they've done
30 hedges or you know, they've memorized the Quran, so we kind of
have all these ideas about what it means to be considered from the
odia or considered, you know, close to Allah subhanho. But this
hadith kind of settles up for us, because let's read it together.
Right, the prophesized that, um, one said to his companions, do you
want to see a man of paradise?
A man then passed by the province of some said, That man is one of
the people of paradise. So one of the companions who was with them,
right, he decided that he wanted to know what was so special right
about this particular man that the promises and would actually say
he's going to gender like Colossus. He's done, right, he's
already set. And so he went, and he
spent as much time with the man as possible, and observed him, but he
noticed that he really didn't do much he performed 100 prayers,
right, or he did not do Excuse me, did not perform the 200 prayers or
anything extraordinary. So he was just doing kind of like average,
deeds, nothing necessarily special, right? And so finally, he
told the man, what the problem was, that they had said about him,
right? He said, this was the problem said that you're going to
gender? What is it that you're doing? Because I've observed you
doesn't seem like you're doing anything special. And the man
said, What? The only thing that I can think of other than what
everybody else does, is that I make sure that I never sleep with
any rancor in my heart towards another. Right. And rancor. Is
that deep hatred, right. It's like a real, just again, hatred for no
reason. So that's it. The Allah's Pantha gave this man Jana, because
he cleansed his heart every night from this feeling of hatred and
this feeling of rancor. Okay. So, that's a really powerful story
that I think highlights what we're talking about yes.
Of course, you can always like, you're responsible for what you
feel, what
kind of situation when someone needs you. And you know, like,
they're not like that, right.
I wish I had the exact quote, but there is a Hadith that speaks to
that. It's, it's an I'll just kind of paraphrase it says, Be a person
of your own mind Don't do such and such, because so and so. does that
to you, right? Like have your own, like, you know, what I mean, the
independent, like, don't reciprocate, or negative things
like that, like, Oh, they're going to talk to me this way, they're
going to be like this to me, Well, I'm going to give it right back to
them. That is not a prophetic response. What you do is, again,
if they have that those feelings towards you, and you haven't done
anything, necessarily to warrant them, you know, I mean, every
situation is different. So like, subjectively, we could get to the
details of like, what's going on, but I think having some sort of an
attempt of dialogue and reconciliation would be helpful,
but if they're just going to reject you entirely, I would just
say, leave that because you've already attempted it, but at least
you can privately, make it on for them, right and ask, you know, the
last part that guides their heart, but leave that door open in case
they ever do find, you know, maybe the light and they want to come
back and reconcile with you, but you've done your part in terms of
wanting to reconcile a right and, you know, extending your handout
and, you know, or the olive branch out. But you don't have to
humiliate yourself beyond that, like you don't have to keep you
know, knocking down their door and, you know, subjecting yourself
to their abuses. If they've already kind of rejected you, you
know? Yeah, so have that squinter Yes.
In a sense, sure. If it's, I mean, they're they can be tied together,
right? If you
have a reason to resent someone that will likely lead to you
hating them, right? If they've done something to you, and you
don't resolve those emotions that was that was kind of like I think
the seed, and then eventually it sprouts into full blown right
hatred. So I would say it's definitely something that you
should pay attention to. And never let those feelings settle. You
know, like I'm, you know, maybe because I do mediation, I like I
see it all the time. But I just feel like, it's not worth it to
let those feelings settle in your heart. If someone's done something
wrong to you, and you feel really hurt and afflicted, and it's
bothering you to the point that it disrupts your spiritual growth,
tend to it, you know, look at it like this cancer that if you
don't, excise it and treat it, it's only going to grow and affect
you. Right? Because that person likely is carried out, moved on
and doesn't maybe has no idea what's going on. Right. And this
is why studying the temperaments is really important, right, the
four temperaments I think I referred to it last week, but
studying the four temperaments helps, because what it does is
explains human personality and kind of gives us a framework to
understand that people are a different levels. And so whether
you're doing conflict resolution, or any, you know, communication,
that you have to learn how to communicate with people on their
level, because for some people, they may be oblivious completely
to, like I said, the fact that they've done something to hurt you
or harm you, or, you know, cause you to be resentful. And there was
no intention whatsoever, right there. Just, you know, and some
people are careless, that they might say something like, you
know, just in the moment and not realizing that that really hurt
you or offended you. And if your temperament is the type that is
not reactive, right, like if you study the four temperaments,
there's one temperament the melancholic who can harbor real
deep resentment for years. And never ever address those feelings.
How toxic is that for that person? Right? That you're sitting with
this really bad feeling towards someone. Because in you know, your
temperament is nonreactive. You're not You're nonconfrontational. You
don't want to, but this is where, again, when you study the
temperaments, it's not just to define your different personality
types and say, You are what you are. That's it. No, it's to say,
this is perhaps what your temperament is, but the prophetic
response is this matchup, right? Fight against the grain go against
your you know, whatever your is comfortable for you your nature,
get yourself to be parallel with the prophetic example. Right. So I
would say to anybody who's holding on to resentment for a really long
time towards someone, if, if the reason why you haven't resolved it
is because you're the obstacle that stands in your own way, you
don't want to talk about it, you don't want to confront them, you
just rather X them out of your life, then just think about the
negative effects that has on your heart, right? That you're the one
sitting stewing and still angry, and maybe if that person's name is
ever mentioned in your presence, you roll your eyes with disgust
and you might even make libre about them. So it's like, Why let
that all of those you know, negative consequences happen when
all it would take is probably a simple phone call like or can we
meet for coffee? Can you come over I'd like to talk to you. And your
intention obviously has to be pure right if you're going to ever do a
resolution or have an opportunity to reconcile your intention has to
be I am not I'm we're not leaving until it's resolved. Right? Not
I'm gonna go in there and give you a slang you know, because now
after three years, I'm you know, I'm gonna finally make you pay no
suffer was horrible. So your NIA has to be right, that is for the
second most part that you want to resolution. You want to remove
this feeling from your heart, right? And ask Allah for Cofield
because Inshallah, if you go with a beautiful intention, that you
really want to have, like repairing the relationship,
Inshallah, Allah will give you Sophia, but again, if you're going
there just to get your, you know, just desserts and punish someone
for what they did to however long ago, you're not gonna have to
feel. And that'll actually be now a double it's like compounded
problems for you. Right? So don't do that. But I think it's very
important to know know your nature, and see where you're, you
know, where where these shortcomings are, that prevent you
from following the prophetic example because all of us are at
different levels. You know, we all have, you know, different things
that we need to work on to bring us to align us with the prophetic
example. And that's why if we don't know our nature, and know
what his example is, and how are we going to resolve that, right,
we have to know both. You have to know your own temperament, your
personality, your own shortcomings your own disease.
He says, and then you study his example and say, What do I need to
do to get there? Because that's ideal. His way is always ideal.
And by sharing this hadith with us, he is giving us a very clear
message. Do not go to sleep with ill feelings in your heart for
people. And there's, you know, I do counseling for couples. I mean,
it's amazing people can go to bed with the person next to them and
absolutely have hatred for them or resentment and rancor and their
heart for their spouse. So what does that say to us, the person
right next to you, right person right next to you, and you're
gonna be okay with that. You're just gonna jump out of bed and go
to work? How do you settle with those feelings? In your heart? How
do you live? How do you function? You should not you should not want
those feelings in your heart, you should say that is toxic.
And if it's my pride, that stands in the way of me, you know, having
a resolution, I need to work on my pride. You know, I don't want to
apologize. For last year, people talk like that. Who Why should I
apologize? Okay, so you're gonna have a cold war for weeks, months?
Over two words, how easy it is to say I'm sorry, even if you're not
wrong, but your your Nia is for the sake of Allah, you know, your
Allah, I just want to resolve this. And I've seen it happen
where I've, you know, you say you can say the words I'm sorry, just
to kind of bring down the wall in front of you. And then what you do
is you say, I'm going to do it that way. I mean, it's just little
advice. You say I'm sorry, for the sake of Allah's Papa, right.
And when the wall comes down, patiently, you address your heart
without pointing fingers. That's how you get justice. You don't
need to point fingers, right? If it's, like obvious that someone's
wrong view, it's obvious to a lot. That's, that's all that should
matter to you. But having your day in court, you know, where it's
like, I want to, you know, humiliate you and just get it all
out to you. That's just not necessary sometimes. But
addressing your pain is what's important. And that's what you
should focus on. So address your pain, validate the hurt that was
caused, instead of letting it be an opportunity for the neffs to
just get there, you know, a moment to attack back for whatever it was
that you felt was done to you. That's that's a Neff see? Che
tonic response, right to do that.
Responsive emotional intelligence of the prophetic examples. You
know what, I'm just going to try to bring healing first, you know,
for myself, because I feel wronged, without necessarily, you
know, exacerbating the issue and turning this into a noun. It's
just another sparring that we're doing, right? I'm just going to
address the pain. But I'm going to be the wise one to say I'm sorry,
first. And Inshallah, if you deal with that, Nia, I guarantee you by
the end of that conversation, hopefully, unless you have someone
who's really got an ego problem, you'll get your I'm sorry, to,
even if it comes at the very end of the competition, ticket.
handler. I said it in the beginning, you said at the end,
we're good, you know, but don't let your dog convince you that the
only successful you know, exchange is if you get to lash out and
punish this person for what they did to you. That's just total
knifes. 100%.
I don't know how we got on that topic. Sorry. This is the thing
with this subject. It's like it can lead from you know, one thing
to another. So, but we I mean, we are talking about hatred. So,
again, what I was saying yes, was that not to ever go to sleep or
with with the negative feelings in your heart, especially for people
that are close to you, right? So the cure for hatred is pretty
straightforward. If you have negative feelings towards someone,
even if it's from your past, even if it's for, let's say, I mean,
I'll be honest, like there's a couple of celebrities that really
annoy me, because I just feel like they're not using their platform
in a healthy way. And they're misguiding millions of people. So
there's times where I've had to be like, Okay, I can't have harbor
negative feelings about them. I have literally made the offer that
literally made the offer their guidance as the last part, though,
like just you know, guide them to Islam to the truth to the hub
hamdulillah but that's the kind of work we have to do even someone's
so far removed like a celebrity that I'll likely never meet in my
life. Because I don't like the reflection it says about me that
I'm holding bad feelings in my heart toward someone I really
don't like it. I feel like it's just it makes me feel icky. Right?
So if you have that, you know, repulsion to the feeling itself.
The knots the response sit and intentionally make the offer them.
You're allowed to give them headache, give them guidance, if
they have wealth, let's say has said is you know, a factor here,
force yourself to make wealth that increases their wealth, and that
helps them
Use their welfare good. You see it, I'm saying like, whatever the
source of your husband is, try to push yourself to even go there,
right? And ask that, that whatever you know that you're asking for
them, obviously, it's for the sake of Allah and that they use it for
him. But push yourself to that point where you want to expel this
feeling from your heart and you're willing to even go out on a limb
and dedicate some some of your dollars to them. Okay, that's one,
that's, that's the cure for
when one when one does this with sincerity hearts mend. If one
truly wants to purify his or her heart and root out disease, there
must be total sincerity and conviction that these cures are
effective. So that's just kind of a general statement about every
single treatment that we're talking about here. It has to be
done sincerely, this isn't going to work. It's kind of like when
you're given a protocol by your physician, you know, take this
medicine, you know, for this many days, if you only take half of
your antibiotic course, is it going to work? No. If you only
take, you know, I get in this debate with my husband all the
time when he takes so funny. But he he gets migraines once in a
while. And so he'll take, you know, an agile or something, but
he literally cuts it in half.
And I'm always like, what is the point of that, it's not going to
work, but he really doesn't like to take medicine, I'm the same, so
I get it, but I just, I kind of tease him I'm like, that's like
you're taking the dosage for like a child, you realize you're a
grown man. And so you know, and then he'll, of course, wake up and
he's like, the headache isn't gone. And I'm like, yeah, it's not
gonna go away. If you're taking half of the prescribed, you know,
then it to me, it's totally pointless, because I'm like,
you're putting all that in your body when you don't want to, but
it's not even effective. So think of it that way. Like, if you're
approaching any of these treatments, with like, not doing
it fully or, wholeheartedly, sincerely, they're not gonna have
an effect. So it's kind of pointless. But when you genuinely
mean what you're saying and genuinely are doing it, then
surely you're gonna see the effect of it.
Arguably, the disease of hatred is one of the most devastating forces
in the world, but the force that is infinitely more powerful is
love. Love is an attribute of God hate is not a name of God
mentioned in the Quran is also a dude in a loving one. Hate is the
absence of love. And only through love can hatred be removed from
the heart, in a profound and beautiful Hadith, the prophet
lucidum said, none of you has achieved fate until he loves for
his brother, what he loves for himself. So I think that's just
really a beautiful way to, again, also address this is that it's you
want to fill your heart like it looked at as a vessel, you want to
fill it with love, right? And that's why that story of use of
Satan is so powerful. It's one of my favorite stories, where he was
walking by a group of men, and then they all cursed him, you
know, they started to curse him. And his response was to actually,
you know, greet them and make, you know, to offer them I mean, the
greeting is, you know, a DA. So his disciples were shocked, like,
why did you do that? They were cursing you, why did you respond?
You know, so with a DA with it with a proper greeting. And he
said, what he said, vessels only pour out what they contain. Okay?
So you want to look at yourself, like, you know, your heart is a
reflection of what's inside of you. So your container, right,
your spiritual container, what is it filled with? If it's love, then
that's all you got to give, right? If it's all of this other stuff,
it's gonna come out. But our purpose should be to remove all of
the negative, like, I want to remove all these dark things and
have a vessel that's pure, and you can't do that. If you don't
address these diseases. So beautiful Hadith there.
And then when the prophesy centum says, brother, this is also an
email, no, no, he comments on this. So just to kind of because,
again, most of us can get into this mindset where all of our good
is only for other Muslims know, if you're a good person, you're a
good person with everybody, right? It's not like, oh, just me and
mine, and then everybody else. I'm, like, I remember where we sit
in. I don't know how long ago it was, but it was a long time ago.
And someone asked about that, like, well, you know, like Reba,
or, you know, certain diseases of the heart. Like, is it? You know,
what if it's like a non Muslim, like, what if it's a coworker?
Like, are you allowed to make a fever about like, you know, a co
worker, as if the answer was going to change, like, yeah, you know,
as long as they're not Muslim, just go to town on that, you know,
spread the worst things about them. I know. It's tough. Because
it's a sign of your heart, right? Like you wouldn't think to to do
those things because it's, you're not capable of it. That's really
what you want to reach that level where I'm not capable of doing
harm to self to anybody, whether they're Muslim or not. It's
doesn't matter. It's just not part of my nature to do those things.
Right. And
And so in here in his commentary, you know, he says what we should
interpret this as Universal Brotherhood, which includes
Muslims and non Muslims, for one should desire for his brother non
Muslim that he enters into the state of submission with his Lord.
And for his brother Muslim, he should love for him the
continuation of guidance, and that he wrote remain in submission. So
yeah, if you have a co worker or someone, you know, neighbor, you
know, there's people that that we will have in our lives that are
going to test us, but you want to always want the good for
everybody. And, and that's what that hadith is want for your
brother, what you want for yourself, right? To really mean
that sincerely.
Okay, Hamdulillah. So you know what I'm gonna do, because we only
have a few minutes left. And I know, we said we're gonna get to
four. But I think we should stop because I want to hear from you
guys, if you have any questions in the remaining time that we have.
So does anybody have any comments or questions?
To?
Sorry, I have some notes here. Let me actually quickly look.
Oh, let me mention this, sorry, I'm using so many different
sources, I forgot to look at my file here. But this is also
important to mention.
So this is Missy how prayer for the other. Whenever one feels
hatred for another person, they should be supplicated for
sincerely their name should be mentioned before Allah subhanaw
taala. And one should ask that they are blessed with good tidings
in this life. And the next, hatred is the absence of love, and only
through love can hatred be removed. So there's a hadith
you remember was that he actually said, This is not a hadith, it's a
quote, he said, to get what you love, you must first be patient
with what you hate. So just
an additional quote, to think about and to reflect on, right. So
whatever you love in this world, if you have a particular need,
think about it, think of it this way that the hatred in your heart
is an obstacle to that love. So if you want something, if you have a
yearning from a loss product of human need a DA, you want to
almost look at it, like I need to take care of this first, before I
have an expectation of getting this right, I need to remove those
things from my heart. And if it is towards another person, I have to
do that. And if I don't do that, then it's an obstacle between
getting what I want from my Lord. So it's another incentive to work
on this particular disease. from anything else anybody has or
anybody has a question. Yes.
Just strike to work.
Absolutely.
But
always talks about he loves those who could.
does not love.
Right? The first review is qualities.
That should be honorable. That's beautiful. Thank you. No, it's a
beautiful response, Mashallah. And it's true, because hatred is and
that's why what, as I said, with my children, I'm always like,
don't use that word. It's such a negative word. And it's true, it's
become so common, and we use it and everything. I hate that song.
I hate that food. I hate this. I hate that. It's I agree, like you
can, you know, just be more selective in how you express it
because words have power words have meaning. And so if we get
used to that binary, you know, it's not an accurate binary,
because it's probably, and this is why language also matters. When
you learn, you know, more descriptive words for your
emotions. It does help to better identify what you're feeling. But
if you're limited in your emotional vocabulary, and you just
kind of use the same words over and over again, you're you're not
doing you know, you're not accurately describing what you're
feeling. But you're also, you know, using words, you're
weaponizing words that are really toxic, and they they're not
helpful. So I love that point. It's really beautiful. Just
getting into the habit of just saying I don't like that I
disliked that instead of I hate to that. Thank you. Excellent advice
martial.
Anybody else?
You guys are quiet today.
Should we continue? Here's what I could do iniquity. If you don't
have questions. We still have time.
Yeah, yes.
Looking at the prophetic
Yes.
Understand the scientific
study was drovers, where would you start?
I'm
sure there's a book that our scholars advised us to get. It's
called the temperament that God gave you. I think the author's
lafay I want to Timothy, I think, just look up the, the temperament
that God gave you.
There are articles online. Also, I've seen if you did a search for
like the four temperaments in Islam, there are articles that are
written by Muslims, that kind of go into the science, but that
initially, that first resource is pretty, pretty comprehensive in
terms of describing the science.
Yeah, but I think it's very helpful. Because once you know
your temperament and personality, and if you've heard any of my
talks before, I'm very, I'm a big advocate of the sides, because I
think it just helps
help, you know, help you with, you know, better understanding of
yourself, but also relationships, you know, because you start
meeting people where they're at, instead of just, you know,
projecting your ways and expectations onto them. It's like
a vicious cycle, because that's what we do normally, right? Well,
this is how I would do it. And if you don't do it that way, then I'm
going to punish you. And everybody's doing that with each
other. Right? So we're like, who's, we're never gonna get
satisfied that way. But if you say, You know what, I'm different,
you're different. Let's learn how to communicate with each other,
where we're at and be respectful and mutually respectful. It
encourages healthier and, you know, relationships and fosters
healthier relationships to do that.
Okay.
All right. Anybody else? I want to make sure I don't miss anybody.
Yeah. All right. So let's go to the next one, that Honda and
equity.
So
we'll read in here, the disease of iniquity according to the book of
opening of the truth, is defined as harming a fellow creature
without right. Its causes the powerfully intoxicating wine love,
of worldly position. So remember, if you wish to turn this
intoxicant into useful vinegar, how many a leader achieved his
heart's desire of rank and position, Yet in the end, the
devotee and his object of devotion were leveled to equal plains by
death. Keep in mind that this desire is about turning away from
your master, towards his impoverished and miserly servants.
concern with the affections of others is exhausting. And though
you may please some others will flee from you filled with anger.
Yet with Yeah, what is prohibited regarding the pleasure of others
is what is procured by way of trickery, ostentatious display of
religiosity, or hypocritical affectation, know also that the
seeker of their pleasure cannot expect the pleasure of God the
Fashioner of creation, the mighty the capable. As for the one whose
heart is encrusted with the love of this world, his only cure is
having certainty of his mortality. Thus, if he keeps death constantly
before his eyes, this acts as a cleanser, for the soiled matter in
cresting the heart. iniquity is defined according to Sheikh
Mohammed, the author of the book, the opening of the truth as
harming anything in creation without just cause. The word is a
translation of Bubbe, which is derived from the Arabic word that
denotes desire. And this context, the problem is desiring something
to the point of transgressing the rights of others to to attain it.
So, again, kind of what we were saying earlier, by any means
necessary, because you want a position of power, you want
wealth, you want status, you're willing to harm others, this is an
equity that you're willing to cross transcend clear boundaries
of right and wrong or wrong, to get right what you want because
it's that important to you.
The inequity and injustice that people aim at others ultimately
works against the perpetrators, right? Because in the Quran, Allah
says, Oh, you people, surely your iniquity is but against
yourselves. And then you Mahmoud goes on to make this analogy
between iniquity and a powerfully intoxicating wine called cough
cough, right? So here's this wine that people drink but it makes
them shudder. It's very, like hard to drink, right? So in the end,
it's you know, you it's harming them what but they still drink it.
So this is a metaphor for the love of position which is a major
motivation that impulse some to wrong others. So it's it's this is
about power, right? People who are in positions of power can fall
into this where they are again, you know, willing to climb over
people stepped on the necks and backs of people to get what they
want and harm you know, and not really care they do it with
impunity, because their love of desire their their I'm sorry,
their, their love of power is just so high.
In their love of, you know, the dunya, right? Because it's all
connected. It's all usually the power is connected to love on
material wealth as well, right? It's like, whatever it's all, you
know, that's your incentive to do what you do so but what you do is
you harm other people in the process, not realizing that you're
actually harming yourself in the end. That's what that verse is
about. Right? And so he goes on to describe the world's most powerful
leaders, right? That they're, they'll do anything to achieve
power, even, you know, harm other people, right? But at the end,
what happens? What's the what's the equalizer? What's what brings
us, you know, we're all going to die and face almost a panel data,
right? So in the end, you can sit here and do all this to acquire,
to acquire to acquire, but you have to realize it's you're going
to meet your maker, and what is it worth it is it worth, you know,
going through all of those, you know,
doing so much harm to other people just to get power, when in the
end, you're going to turn to dust and then you're going to be held
accountable for everything you did. So that's really, you know,
the reminder there.
And hear that at the bottom of that section, attaining nearness
to God does not involve wronging others. On the contrary, access to
the source of all power requires a character that is selfless,
compassionate, and sensitive to the rights of others. Right. So if
you want power, and you're willing to harm other people, then that's
what you're gonna get maybe in this life, and you see people do
all the time. But if you want near the smallest pot that then you
have to understand you can't have both, you can't harm people and
then still want nearness to Allah, it just doesn't work that way. You
have to, you know, be a compassionate, fair, just person
in order to gain nearness to Allah. So iniquity just doesn't.
It's, there's no place for it in the heart of the believer, the
amount of space or the desire for temporal power is a move away from
God, besides whom there is no power or might and a move towards
his creation. So whenever we want power, and that's why, if you seek
power and you want position, it you are in a way, making a choice,
right? It's one thing to be assigned in those positions or
given opportunities in those positions elected, you know, you
know what I mean? In those positions, but to actually want
it, and you have a yearning for it. This is considered, you know,
a reflection of of a disease in the heart because nobody should
want leadership and power. It's a big Amana. It's a it's a trust,
and it's comes with a lot of responsibility. But those who seek
it usually are seeking it for the wrong reasons, right? They're
seeking it because of notoriety, fame, wealth, power, all of the
stuff that comes with being recognized and being known and
we're gonna get to those diseases in the coming sessions. But just
an important note there vain pursuits were out the soul a
person who endeavors to please people and gain their love,
admiration or approval, will exhaust himself.
That's just, you know, a deterring you know, commentary there that if
that's what you want, remember, it's going to come at a price. And
that's why a lot of people who are in politics, let's say or who
have, you know, positions of power, it is an exhausting thing.
And they do, they are worn down, you know, they they're not healthy
people, generally speaking there. They have, you know, a lot of
issues, personal issues in their homes and their families. Because
it comes with a price right?
The great Muslim scholar, even anti Allah said, If you desire
immortal glory, seek glory in the immortal, that's beautiful, right?
So, you know, just a change in perspective, don't seek to be
recognized in this dunya seek to be recognized by the one, because
that's all that matters. You know, you can have, you know, this is a
big problem with our society now, because everybody's trying to be
an influencer, right? That's like, the common, everybody knows that
word. Right? What's an influencer?
This is like, whatever, especially the young generation, it's sad,
because we see, you know, so many people accumulating a lot of power
and wealth almost overnight, you know, one video, right? It's like
one simple exchange they had or video that was just that went
viral, suddenly opened the doors for a lot of power. And you have
young people, you know, with millions and millions of dollars.
And then, you know, there's been so many stories over the over the
years of how they display their wealth. And, you know, it's all
about flying all over the world and the cars that they buy the
homes that they buy brand names because it opens the door, you
know, for I mean, it's it's just the world that they've
unfortunately, I'm talking about the younger generation that
they've entered, where this is so common, that it's
is very attractive, right? Who wants to go to college and, you
know, go for two years to medical school or law school or this
school engineering school, when you could just become, you know,
YouTuber, an influencer, have some, you know, gimmick that you
do, and potentially make millions overnight. So you see a lot of
people shifting their life focus their trajectory completely, they
drop out of school, they're not working. And it's not just here in
the US, like all over the world, you know, it's very, very common
to see this happening with younger people, because it's so appealing
and so attractive. Right, so seeking notoriety and fame, it's,
we're gonna get to that as well. But, you know, that's why this
quote is powerful. Like, if you want that just seek seek to be
known by Allah subhanaw taala, for, he's the only one that really
matters. And so, similarly to the other diseases, the treatment for
this is to reflect on death, again, to know that it's all going
to come to an end, your wealth will wither away. And that's why
this the woman that I mentioned earlier, in my story, the homeless
woman, her story to me was, was quite powerful actually looked her
up later. I, you know, and research her she actually was she
was a pretty well known in her, you know, area of tech that she
was working on, I saw her name, I saw all these pages on her. And
she still periodically messages me, here and there. Like, every
few months, I'll get an email update from her, she had a brain
injury. So she's, you know, just cognitively impaired. But I think
about that as Pamela that she was, at one point, very fluent woman.
She had millions, she had a title, she had a name, she had a
business, and it was all taken away. You know, and we hear these
stories, we hear the opposite a lot, you know, Rags to Riches, but
they're also riches to rags. So either a look and take that away
from you in this world, if you're the type that abuses people to get
what you want, or the biller, you'll be debased in the next
world, but at the end of the day, if you reflect on death enough, it
should make you not yearn for these positions, you know, you're
in for power. Because you realize, like, it's all you know, I don't
want to be held accountable and I don't want to stand before my lord
right? In trouble Yes.
Yeah, Allah knows, you know, everybody's situation is
different. But one thing I will mention is Subhan. Allah, she in
every email she ever sends me, she'll send me a verse of the
Quran. And she'll say, Son, I'm Anakin. She's, you know, I don't
know if she's professed Islam, but my exchanges with her have always
she's very reflective of God now. And, you know, God, Allah knows,
but sometimes that's the outcome, right? Someone who didn't have any
spiritual, you know, you know, life before, might suddenly be
become very aware. And she's mentioned many times that Muslims
are the best people, they've always treated her very well. And
she's very grateful for her time spent in the Middle East, she
actually lived in the Middle East for a while. So you never know,
maybe this is a source of her guidance to Islam, and may Allah
accept her, you know, her and guide her insha Allah so, but we
can't assume to know why things like that happen to people,
because that's totally not our call. You know, Allah can guide
some people in this way, or he can punish them and you know, and
purify them, you know, before, before the after that which is one
of the great blessings of being a Muslim is that we know that our,
you know, will be held accountable in this world as a mercy from
Allah spot that so that we are not held accountable in the next life.
So that's why tribulations are scraped blessings and
tribulations. And if you want to, there's a really great talk that
Hamza did called the 17 blessings of tribulations or benefits of
tribulations, it's should be on YouTube. But it's a it goes into
all just gives you a shift in perspective. Like, if you've
gotten you know, if you've had any hardship suffered any loss,
financially or a personal, you know, loss of someone you cared
for, maybe you have a diagnosis that's, you know, terminal, or
just something that would be considered a tribulation, that
there is a way to see the silver lining. Once you shift your focus
and look at it through that metaphysical lens through the lens
that we should all look at everything in the dunya lens is
very limited, right? The lens of the dunya will only focus on
what's in front of you, but the metaphysical lens sees the bigger
picture. Right that there's always nothing happens in vain. There's
always a reason why things happen. And ultimately if you have that,
that trust in Allah subhanaw taala you feel content with whatever it
is because you know
Your Lord is the Most just, he's the Most Merciful, the Merciful.
And if he's trying you in this world, there is a good reason for
that, and that you just have to submit and surrender. So it kind
of helps you to gain that perspective. But yeah, that's
that's a good talk to listen to inshallah. Yes.
When I
guess, you know, this whole bit of designing something to the point
of pressing the right for
living in a time and place where not only is that normalize that
behavior
this time?
Oh, yeah.
So opposite to
the challenge of being a cipher people normalize that, right?
No, you're 100%. Right. Actually, we mentioned iron Rand, I think, I
don't know if it was it was in this class. I mentioned it. And so
if you look up her theories, they call it it's amazing to be they
call it this ethical egoism.
Like, doesn't isn't that like ironic, I don't know how, you
know, because it's all about self service. And there is that sort of
Machiavellian approach to you? Do you, you get what you need, right?
Whatever you need, and forget about everybody else that you have
to learn along the way. There is definitely that sentiment out
there. And you're right, it's it's getting more and more popular, as
people pull away from, you know, religion, organized religion or
faith, you know, and they don't really have a sense of
accountability to, to a higher creator. It's all about serving
the self, the needs of the self. So if it comes at, oh, well, you
know, so and so, you know, I had to, for example, you know,
promotions up at work, and I had to throw a coworker under the bus
because I want to get promoted, oh, well, you know, people do
things like that, you know, because in their mind, I think
it's, it's fine. If you have to do what you have to do to get ahead,
that's okay. But this is the kind of, you know, philosophy that's
become very, very popular in in our world, which is, which is all
about serving the knifes?
Absolutely.
Many,
growing up in Europe, even though
as much as it supposedly is in the US, that
Subhan Allah, that's why it's important to travel, right?
Because you can see the stark contrast that the way that other
societies live. And this is, yeah, this is a problem, right? It's not
healthy and iniquity, by the way. I mean, we're talking kind of like
in positions of power, and maybe looking at more like, you know,
leadership roles or roles, professional roles, but I think,
also in our homes, we have to look at this too, because, you know, in
the marital context, or even with children, you can have this
manifest, right? Children, for example, are I think, in many
cultures seen as little, you know, minions, and, you know, stuff,
it's almost like, no big deal to talk down to them, to disrespect
them, to treat them as sub, because whatever, it's the child's
This is not Islam, that's not our tradition at all. Children should
be honored, they should be respected, their rights should be
given, they should be spoken to, with respect, but you see a lot of
really disrespectful way of engaging children, you know, or
it's like, their intellect is, you know, not recognized, oh, what do
you know, you're just a kid, you know, or they're not, you know, I
mean, they're just their rights aren't fully given. So this is
also another problem is that many of our homes this can happen. And
the same with between a husband and wife, you see some spouses,
unfortunately, abusing their power, whether it's, you know,
intellectually, spiritually, financially, but they're, you
know, they're just,
you know,
they're, they're abusing their, their position to gain more power
in that relationship. But I've seen this many, many times happen
in homes. So we can look at it on a micro level or a macro level,
but the problem is, is it's everywhere around us. And we have
to ask ourselves what you know, first of all, why do I want
positions of power if I want them what is the endgame? What's the
purpose of it you know, if you whether it's in your you know,
like work area or professional, I mean, home life or just in the
community or in the world if you're seeking fame if you're
seeking to have some some again, position. That's the first
question why? sit with that for me?
Am I really ask yourself what is it that I want? Because if it
comes to, again, all the things we mentioned, which is love of dunya,
and, you know, notoriety and fame, those come at real serious costs,
and we're gonna get to that as we talk about those diseases of the
heart inshallah.
Yes, did I have any questions here
that I saw a hand, okay. Anybody else?
All right Candela so we will cover inshallah for the next week.
Let's read through
love of war love of the world env which is going to be a really big
one. So make sure you read all of them. blameworthy, modesty
fantasizing, and we'll try to do fear of poverty so let's do all of
those inshallah we can we can get through them. Hopefully all. Okay.
Oh, is it okay, sorry. Let me go to the new book. Okay. If their
order is different. Oh, wow. They changed the order. Huh? Okay. So
love of world envy, blameworthy. Modesty, fantasizing here poverty,
it's not the same as is the same.
Are you looking at the contents? So we just ended on iniquity and
then after that should be love of the world? Right. And V.
blameworthy, modesty, fantasizing and fear of poverty? It's the same
now it's okay. If it sounded off. I'm sorry. There's one.
Gotcha. Okay. So we'll do all of those inshallah for next week. And
please, yeah, come prepared with any questions. Oh, I'm sorry. In
two weeks. Yeah. Next week, I'm sorry, I have a family event. So
I'm not able to be here. But inshallah and in two weeks, okay,
because I can't actually, I'm thinking, Should I should we have
more reading because you're got two weeks now, we won't cover
probably all of them. But you're more than welcome to continue
reading all the way to seeking reputation, because that's what we
just talked about, right? We talked about seeking reputation so
we can maybe come back full circle to that one. All right. I'm gonna
just like go ahead. We'll go ahead and end in Dawn Shut up. So not
offended Rahim.
When I sort of ended in Santa Fe, a casa de La La Nina Avenue and
middle Swati had DEAL WITH US Open happy, whatever. So the southern
alongside it was a moment. I gotta say that I don't know that I'm
sure I've even I'm sure that sort of the audience would have wanted
it was like that. So at this
finish. I'll see you in a couple of hours. Thank you. For sisters,
if you're here. They're an amazing class is happening in the
conference room. That's why we're out here. I don't know if you've
heard about it, but it's with a study event simply from Southern
California. She is a gem, an incredible storyteller. I highly
advise you to register. They have lunch if you have time. But check
her out. She's really incredible. I'm actually eager to go in there.
So she's like located in Santa Monica.