Hosai Mojaddidi – Purification of the Heart (Part 1)
AI: Summary ©
AI: Transcript ©
This
man walking up
to him, thank you again for being here we are here for purification
of the heart, this is going to be a six week class and shot law. And
as I had mentioned, we are here in Charlotte to, to study this
incredible text that really is a great service that our chef, local
scholarship Hamza Yusuf has done for us by providing us his
translation. And it's considered, you know, by many of our great
scholars, one of the classical Greek, it's a great work, but my
mother was Daddy specific, specifically considered the study
of the science to be an obligation. So it's really great
that all of you are here, and you're taking it seriously, as we
all should. It's something that every I think even children should
should study this or you know, at age appropriate levels. But the
younger, the better, because it's about really cultivating the you
know, yourself and becoming the best version of yourself. And you
can't do that if you don't know what problems you have, right?
It's it's like, this is what it is it's unearthing, it's bringing all
of that out, like, you know, the, the we're in, we're all afflicted,
right, we all have diseases of the heart, which we're going to get
into inshallah in a moment. But I wanted to start off before we get
dive into it about intention, because it really, we have to be
intentional, when we're doing something like this, that every
day that we come here, and even when we leave, and we're going
back to our daily, you know, lives that we take the subject matter
seriously. And we really contemplate the meetings and the
discussions that we're having here. And we read the texts, we do
the assignments, and it won't be I won't overload you I'm not, you
know, it's we have time, and there's 25 diseases, so you're not
going to do that much. But I want you know, to you to know that
you're coming in here, having read the material having really
participated in you're taking this class, really with the same
intention that we all, as I said, should have, which is, we want to
get closer to all us around that, right. That's the objective. And
the way to do that is to is to, you know, to work on ourselves and
to and to be as close to the prophetic example as possible. And
you can't do that. If you don't, you know, look at where your
weaknesses and faults are and how to correct those things. So that's
really, the objective of this class is to with that intention,
we want to draw closer towards Pantera. So
with that said,
I wanted to you know, keep things real, because, you know, as I
said, I'm up here, teaching, but I don't want there to be any
impression that I have, in any way mastered the science. I'm not a
master of not, you know, I've hunted I was blessed to be a part
of it when it comes to first taught this. And, and of course,
I've studied it over the years, but I'm a student, just like all
of you are. And I say that sincerely because I want this to
be a discussion based class where we're talking, we're sharing
ideas, we're asking questions. So it's not just that I'm sitting
here giving you information, you take it and you leave, but it's
actually a conversation. So that was part of the description of the
class. And I hope that's clear for everybody that we are here to
dialogue. And we're kind of like doing it almost like a book club
format, you know, where you read a text together. Okay, so that's how
I want the class to flow. So I invite questions I invite, like,
oh, I have something to share contributions. If you feel like
something is relevant that you want to mention, please, like,
just feel open to do that. There's no formality here. Okay,
inshallah. So, my background just to kind of again, for those who
don't know, me, I am a Bay Area native. I was raised here. I was
not born here. I was born in Afghanistan, but came here, like
many refugee families did to the US. And then we came to California
around middle school. So I, I, most of my clear memories,
Claire's memories are here in California growing up, and
Hamdulillah. You know, like many people, I was raised in a
conservatively cultural or culturally conservative family. So
we had, you know, rules that were cultural. They weren't necessarily
defined to us as being religious rules. So I grew up, you know, not
doing certain things and knowing, you know, clearly what was wrong
or what was right. But I didn't have a strong Muslim identity.
Growing up, I had a very strong cultural identity. So it wasn't
until actually high school where I, my first experience ever
hearing a native, you know, Muslim, he was a convert, but he
was, you know, hear American Muslim speakers speak about Islam.
And he actually came to my high school and he did a presentation
on the autobiography of Malcolm X. And so, yes, I was I feel like I
have a conversion.
variants like so many converts do, I really did. I was watching this
incredible. And he's local Imam, Abdul Malik Ali, right. We all
know him. America's dramatic. He, when he came in, he spoke about
Malcolm X, it was the first time I ever first of all heard of his
story. But also just to see the passion and pride and conviction
of a Muslim, who was so proud of his faith was unique for me,
because I had never, ever seen that before I was around a lot of,
as I said, people from my own culture and family and background.
But to actually see an American Muslim, have such a strong
American Muslim identity was really profound for me, it
impacted me. And then he encouraged us to read the
autobiography of Malcolm X, and the movie, I think, had already
come out or it was coming out. It was around that time, and it was
1992 around that time. So I,
I went to the library, like, you know, that day, and I actually
checked out the book, and I read it, and I fell in love, I dove
into that book, and I was sold, I was like, this is one of the
greatest stories ever. And then, of course, watching the movie only
solidified how amazing, you know,
Malcolm X was, and just really made me feel connected to him. And
so that kind of was what I call the first flip, you know, of my,
like spiritual awakening, right, I had this incredible awakening of
who am I, you know, my identity as a Muslim. And then later in
college, I had, you know, other experiences, which I've spoken
about. And some of you may have heard that story about just, you
know, being put in a situation where I had to confront a speaker
who came to the campus, and spoke, you know, really
horribly about Islam and about the problems I sent him. And I was in
a sort of confrontational situation with that speaker. But
that also was my second sort of awakening. So I had these
experiences, where I was being, you know, just drawn to the faith,
and it took time. And that's, you know, I think many people share
that experience. It doesn't always happen overnight. For some people,
some people have tragedy, calamity, and suddenly they start
questioning life and have an existential crisis. For other
people, it can be gradual. And so for me, it was gradual, the loss
of my grandfather was another really big experiencing a dead
person for the first time in your life as a teenager can definitely
wake you up and start making you ask a lot of questions. So I had
those experiences. And 100 a lot. And I'm, you know, it wasn't until
later on in college that I think it really where I really started
waking, having a full awakening, I guess, you could say had small
little moments of awakenings. But it wasn't until I was I
think it was the year 1996 or so. I was practicing at that time, I
was wearing hijab, I was, you know, had had a strong Muslim
identity, but I wasn't really working on the internal at all.
Like, there was no, it was just all outward, it was very much
about prayer, and looking Muslim and talking tough. And just, I
don't know, it's just a different mindset that I had at that time.
And it's because that's what was, you know, what was common, a lot
of the people around me, and the MSA is in the organizations that I
was a part of, that's kind of what it was right? There wasn't much
emphasis on the spiritual or the inner dimensions and working on
the inner. So I ended up
you know, finding kind of just stumbling upon. And it's an
interesting experience. I'll share it with you guys. But I, I went to
a friend's house we used to get together at UC Berkeley. It was
like a bunch of sisters that we knew. And we would have had up as
one of the sisters homes. And so it was common for me to kind of
drop by we just, you know, check it hanging out. So I drove up with
another friend in the car. And we were going to hang out with some
friends. And I noticed that some of the sisters were actually
leaving, and they were by their card. I was like Where you guys
going? And they're like, oh, there's this new class that's
starting. And we're gonna go check it out. So I was like, Oh, who's
the class by and they're like, oh, this teacher named Hamza Yusuf.
And so at that time, I had only heard about him in other circles.
And the comments weren't very nice, let's just say that. But my
mind was like, Oh, really, like I was curious. And I was, you know,
I kind of went with an agenda in a way. It's, it's not good. You
know, I'm not proud of that, you know, now, but at that moment, I
felt like, I needed to go and basically hear what, you know,
this Hamza Yusuf was saying, and maybe potentially even confront
him, I kind of had that personality type. So I was like,
Oh, you're going to that class, I'm going to follow you. So I
ended up driving from Berkeley all the way to Hayward after my, you
know, behind my friend's car, and I show up to the class and I'm
not, I can't remember if he was doing purification of the heart,
or if he was doing Sita, it was one of the two I think
Was it might have been seated, but he was teaching a class at that
time. And I walked in with full like, you know, intention to like,
you know, I don't know, just confront him somehow because I had
heard things about him that were not true, but still. So anyway, I
sit in the class and Subhanallah my first experience again, or
second experience, I should say, hearing a Native American Muslim
convert speak about Islam, but he was completely in the most real
authentic, you know, vulnerable state that I had ever seen a man
or person and, and he began to weep. You know, in his
transmission, he was talking about the prophesy Saddam and he just
couldn't contain himself. So he was crying, and I was like, Oh, my
God, I've never seen a man do that before. Ever, right? Most of the
men in our lives, and especially from my cultural background, are
very stoic, they do not cry. It's like you don't see, you know, your
father's, your uncle's, your anybody do that. And here's this
man who's so moved by,
you know, the story of the prophesy sudden, which, of course,
is so compelling in so many ways, that he just let his guard down,
and it was all heart. And it was an absolute transference, you
know, we almost thought that one of his name is mipela, Kullu,
right? The one who flips the hearts.
I had that experience, in that moment, of sitting in front of
this teacher, my heart completely flipped, I went there with this
agenda to confront him, and I thought I was gonna catch him and
stuff. And I just was like, subhanAllah, what, you know, he's
saying and what he's doing, there's, there's true, there's up
to this, I want to know more. And so I ended up, like, coming every
weekend, he was doing classes. And we were very blessed and honored
to sit and learn from him. And it was more than just see it. But
this was one of the classes. So that was, for me the final
awakening, because I had
really, you know, just learn to appreciate the emphasis on working
more on the internal, because everything at that point for me
was about the external. And here, I was learning that no, you know,
if you want to get closer to a spot, then don't worry about the
form, don't worry about how you look and how you appear and what
people think of you. Don't worry about reputation, and you know,
validation, and getting all of that No, work on yourself and make
this your lifelong process that every single day, you're
cultivating, you know yourself, and you're you know, you're
you're, you're doing the internal work. And that's, you know, I
credit him. So that's why I'm here today, because I know that I've
been blessed to, you know, to study and to learn from him, as
most of us in this community have been. And so you know, with his
permission, I am here to teach you this class, because I want to
share with all of you the great blessings that I have found, from
learning this, you know, science is studying the science. And I
think just doing it together, it's so necessary. We're living in a
time where there's a lot of, you know, confusion, people are really
lost about what to do and who to follow and who to listen to. And
you know, the messages outside are all about external, right? I mean,
we're living in a fishbowl world, now everybody's looking in on each
other. And we're all worried about how we appear. And we're all you
know, it's all about image, so much emphasis on image. So I feel
like we're we actually, this isn't very necessary, you know, to, to
work on this. And that's why it's, it's a great honor, again, to be
here. So
any questions so far about that? Yes.
The books, oh, there was a box of books here. There might be, oh,
there, they place them outside. So yeah, please make sure you have
your books, because we're gonna look at parts of it today. But
just to for those of you who walked in late, just to kind of
recap, today's an introduction class. So I was just introducing
myself to all of you and why I'm here and my background. And so
with that said, I did
want to share a few things here about the you know, the sort of, I
guess, the the outline of the for the rest of the course. So we have
there's 25 diseases that are going to be covered in this book. And
so, for today, we're going to do the biography of Ebola, and we'll
talk about him who he was, do really more of an introduction on
the science as an overall like objectives. And then we'll dive
into the reading. We'll have a reading assignment after today.
And next week, we'll start officially going over the
diseases. Okay. So just I just want to make that clear. So
now, as far as before we get into the biography of Mr. Mahmoud. I
just wanted to again reiterate what I said earlier, as they come,
that they
As you know, we have what we called the fried, you know the
fuddled in our tradition, which are the obligatory things that we
should all know, there are photos of the iron and firstkey fire for
diner things that every individual should know. Right? Part of the
fire the collective responsibilities of like communal
responsibilities. So the following are, you know, knowing your fifth
of
the Hata, cleanliness, purification, prayer, knowing how
to read the book of Allah subhanaw taala in the proper way, and then
I'm gonna put Zadie, who is again, one of our great scholars,
greatest one of the greatest scholars of our of our tradition,
he considered he's one of the ones who considered this is a study
that's also considered far behind that everybody should make it or
it's obligatory on every Muslim to learn the science. So, you know,
we should take this seriously. It's not just like, Oh, we're
electively just here to study this interesting thing, but rather, I'm
actually doing something that I might be asked about, you know, on
the day of judgment, and so I'm inshallah with that seriousness,
I'm here and, and that's the intention with which we should be
here in sha Allah. So I wanted to start off by outlining or first
asking how many in the Quran and the Hadith, the heart is mentioned
several times, but in a different in different definitions, right in
different contexts. Does anybody know how many different types of
hearts are identified?
Or even have an idea of some of the types of hearts that are
identified that you can remember from like learning or like verses
of the Quran? Yes.
Yes.
What is it? A few that I'm not actually familiar with that. I
think what I'm talking about is types of hearts. Right? Like, what
like, for example,
a Darkened Heart, right.
Calvin Salim very good, right? Good. So there's different hearts
that are described to us in the Hadith and the Quran. So I'm going
to give you an IF Can I ask someone to volunteer for me to
write these on the board? It'd be really helpful if someone can do
that. Who has a nice handwriting? Because it's just English words.
Yes. Okay. Thank you. Yes, it's English only not Arabic. Don't
worry.
But I'm gonna just I should have done that. I apologize before the
class. I forgot to do that. But there are eight different types of
hearts. Okay, so we have the first one is the dead heart. Okay.
The second is the Darkened Heart
and then the third is the hardened heart. So hard that's been
hardened, darkened also the second one was darkened. pologize.
darkened, hardened.
Dark harder. Yeah, no, there's no sick yet. So dark, hardened,
blackened.
sealed.
Sealed, locked.
Together separate. Yeah, these are all separate. Locked, blind and
then sound. Okay.
Why did a blind? Yeah, just blind and then sound?
Perfect. Thank you.
Alright, so those are the eight different types of hearts that we
have been introduced to through either either the Quran or Hadith.
Okay, and we're going to talk about each one of these. So the
first one the dead heart. How do you identify what a dead heart is?
In chapter 50, verse 37, almost part that says, Verily, and this
is a message for any that has a heart, or who gives ear and
earnestly witnesses the truth. From this verse, we can, you know,
deduce that, obviously, we all have heart we're living we're not
talking about the physical heart, we're talking about the spiritual
heart. And so, a person who, who has a heart if they are, you know,
if they're, if they're, you know, as, as the verse says, For any
that has a heart, if they give ear, they will witness the truth.
So the opposite of that is that their heart is either you know, is
dead, or that they're, you know, that it's non existent, right,
that there's just no spiritual, you know, desire or, or any, you
know, want to to, to know all us behind that, and this is very
common. There's a lot of people who don't
have any desire for God and they'll they'll say that religion
is important, God is an important. Oh, the biller, and this is how
they, we see it everywhere now. So this idea that a person can be
physically awake and walking amongst us, but there, there's
some death, right happening. This is how we ascertained that from
this verse that there are people amongst us that are like that they
have dead hearts, right.
And then this can also you know, people, sometimes you know, you
can talk or you can attend a talk, or there's poor and being recited,
but some people are just not affected, and you'll see it,
you'll see, really moving experiences, but people are just
not, there's nothing happening to their hearts, that would also be a
sign of someone whose heart is deadened. Right? Because the Quran
should, you know, awake something in you, right? Or if you're
standing in front of the Kaaba, for example, we're seeing
something really amazing, we should have a visceral physical
response to that. But if you're just like, nothing, and then you
know, and sometimes it's not that it's, you know, there's, it's dead
into the point where it can't be revived. So don't lose hope.
Because there are people who will feel like, well, I'm just at a
place where life is really hard right now. And I'm Yeah,
emotionally stunted. And I don't really respond to things I've, you
know, met with people who say that they just in their prayers, they
don't feel anything, or when they're, you know, listening to
put on or just don't they have no desire to do certain things. And
that's indicative of, yes, there's a spiritual, you know, disconnect
there that has to be addressed. So, but all hope is not lost,
don't worry, it's just a matter of how do you revive that type of a
heart. But the idea that a heart can fall to that level of just
almost, you know, no activity, you know, there's no response is, is,
is a sign again, that that is happening all around us. And it's
very common, but we have to know the signs of it, that that's one
of them. This is a, you know, a symptom of it.
A Darkened Heart. Okay, so what's a Darkened Heart
a heart that was initially dead can come alive, again, with the
reminders with Quran with good company, all of these things can
happen, right. But if someone is plunged in darkness and
misguidance, and disbelief, and they continue to, you know, to, to
surround themselves like that, after being, you know, brought
into the light, this is Darkened Heart, right. So all that spot
that has awakened you, or you had guidance, but now you are by your
own choices, by your own miss, you know, you're falling back into bad
behavior or things you shouldn't be doing. This is a dark, this is
a heart that's darkened now, because you had the light you had,
you know, guidance, and then you chose to turn. And so now your
heart is being darkened.
hardened heart, so a heart that is completely devoid of the
remembrance of Allah subhanaw, that it becomes hardened. So if
you're not, you know, doing things actively to remember Allah, over
time, this is the consequence that your spiritual heart will become
hardened. So it's almost like all of these things lead to to
another, if you continue to have a hardened heart, eventually, you're
going to have a dead heart, right? That's just the natural course.
Because you are not doing anything to actively keep that spiritual
heart awake. And that's what thicket of Allah is prayers, you
know, doing all of this stuff that we should be doing on a daily
basis. If you think of, you know, you're just the the five prayers
alone are for us to check in and to, you know, wait to kind of wake
up from the delusion of the dunya. Because we can get caught up in
all this, you know, the stuff that we're doing. So we go to pray, and
we're really to remind us of our purpose. But even in addition to
that, we have so many other things that we should be doing actively,
right. All the daily dogs, for example, how many of us do the
daily dogs that we should be doing? When you wake up in the
morning, right? The first things you should say, as soon as your
eyes open is a dog? How many of us do that? Right? All of that is to
constantly keep us in connection with all US pantalla because the
heart needs that the heart needs this, you know, just continuous
you know feeding and nurturing of remembrance and if we don't do
that, the consequences that it becomes hard and, and so many of
us now if you really think about it, even in our prayers, we're not
present right? It's many times and I've heard from people like you
know, you stand in prayer and you don't even know how many cat
you've done. You don't remember the sodas you recited right, but
you were thinking about what you have to do next.
what you did yesterday. So, because we're so distracted, now
we have so many distractions that even in a time where we should be
focused, and we should have that ability to connect, we can't. So
this is a sign of a hardening of the heart, right? And it's because
we're not doing enough remembrance of ALLAH SubhanA wa Tada. And so
you want to look at your whole day and say, Where are the times where
I'm actually really sitting with myself and thinking about Allah
and, you know, letting just,
you know, whether it's, you can do that three different ways you can
just do it, you know, like driving, for example, in your car,
or washing the dishes, you know, you could do it anywhere.
Remember, it's almost fun, that doesn't have to be done just on a
prayer mat, you know, or with the Quran in front of you. You can do
it at all times of the day. But how often do we do that versus
turn on the music, right? Or a podcast about something and not to
say that those things aren't beneficial. But if you're not
making time for the remembrance of Allah actively, but yet you have
time to do all these other things do you see that is going to
contribute to the hardening of the heart, your heart will gradually
not be as affected, you know, by the things that it should be
affected by the connection you feel will start to, you know, sort
of like, you know, like on the phone, when you're talking to
someone, and the connection starts to go down, and you're like,
hello, hello, hello. That's kind of how you how you have to think
about your spiritual connection with Allah, if you're not
attentive to it regularly, every day. This isn't, you know, it's
not a seasonal thing, where we become seasonally inspired, you
know, around Ramadan, or right before dawn, that's not Islam.
Islam is every single day, committed, concerted effort,
active engagement, and you deliberately make time and
schedule in things that are going to, you know, get you closer to
your Lord and the five prayers are not enough. They are, they are
essential, and they're absolutely the most important. But they're
not enough to do that in a time and day and age where we are now,
where we're so incredibly, like I said, bombarded and distracted
easily. We can't rely on just thinking I'm going to, you know,
commit to my five prayers, and that's going to be good enough.
It's we need more, we need active engagement. So I'm sorry, did I
have a question if you had a question?
Oh, sure, of course.
Absolutely. And that's, you know, that's directly against one of the
clear Hadith of the Prophet of Saddam who said, give salam to
those, you know, and you don't know, right? So, you know, there's
clearly and that's a social ill that we have, a lot of people have
become so socially, just, you know, I know aware of themselves,
you know, where they only you know, and social anxiety is real,
it's a problem of our society where people really feel awkward,
talking to people they don't know or approaching people they don't
know. Whereas in Islam, we're literally we're supposed to look
at each other all as a family, like one OMA one body. So you, you
know, could you do that to your family members where you walk into
the home and you only talk to one person or you only, but for some
reason, there's this awkwardness that we've I think imposed, it's
not from our tradition, for sure. It's a lot of its cultural, a lot
of its social, a lot of its individual, right, people have
their own individual temperaments, and they're, you know, afraid to
maybe put themselves out there vulnerabilities, not easy for
people. So that, you know, affects their, their connection with other
people, which absolutely will affect your heart. You know, if
you're not, you know, part of our deen is to social, you know,
emotional intelligence. Part of that is, you know, the ability,
social skills, right. And emotional intelligence is really a
slam, if you look at all of the definitions of emotional
intelligence, it is Islam, and it's embodying all of the
prophetic qualities and prophecies, Saddam was masterful
at so many things, but one of his great qualities was being able to
connect with every single person, you know, no matter where they
were at war, no matter what their background was, it didn't matter
he was able to really engage people and make them feel seen and
heard. And this is what we should as Muslims put into practice, we
should work on our social skills, so that we make people feel
welcome and that's why smiling is a huge part of that. And right
smiling saying synonyms being people that spread you know
actually said I'm a Banach and this is all a hadith you know, be
people who spread peace, be people who are easy and and and people
are drawn to to you because you are approachable, right? But we've
unfortunately gone back in many ways with that and so I
It absolutely is connected to that. So thank you for bringing
that up.
The blackened heart and this is, you know, even Massoud said that
the slave continues to lie and a black spot grows on the heart
until all the heart becomes completely black. And this is, and
this is, you know, one of the great Hadith that we should
visualize, I like to visualize things because it you know, it
helps you to sort of just imagine what's happening every time you do
something every time you make it for you. But every time you lie,
every time you eat from the Haram or take it as let's form a haram,
or you do anything that is haram, you want to actually imagine that
that's what's happening, do you have this beautiful heart, it's
glowing, it's full of light, right? It's just pure, but every,
it's like a dot, you know, like a Sharpie marker, you just colored
into it. And it's permanent, right, until you do the necessary
steps to remove that, but it's on, it's on your heart. And so this
is, you know, one of the tragedies, again, is that we sins
have become so common now. And people take them lightly, they
don't really look at them as having an effect. Because it's
like, you know, God's the most forgiving, it's okay, my heart is
good, I'm a good person. And so you kind of start taking sins,
like lightly or you think that, you know, you can I know, you
know, I've heard people say, like, when I get older, you know, I'll
do this act, right.
Like, all my youth is going to be spent doing whatever I want to do.
So I my wild oats, you know, but when I, at this time in my life,
I'll start taking things more seriously after I do hudge, you
know, and those are not guarantees, nobody has any
guarantee, if we're going to, you know, live to see tomorrow, let
alone the future. So having that kind and this is actually one of
the diseases of the heart, which we'll get to, to have this, you
know, wrong idea about your life. But, you know, this kind of just
to imagine, every time you're sitting, that's what you're doing,
you're literally darkening this wonderful thing that you've been
given that connects you to your Lord, you're hindering its growth,
you're stunting it, and it's you know, it's, it's causing it's it's
death, because it's like suffocating it right? It's every
sin that you do, it's preventing the light from growing, it's
preventing you from having that connection with Allah. So you are
spiritually, you know, suffocating and stunting your own growth when
you sin. And so again, visualize those things, I think it's
important to do that.
So the sealed heart is the next one. And this is in sort of the
room chapter 30, verse 59, thus Allah does stamp the hearts of
those who understand not so sealed heart is one that Allah subhanaw
taala has sealed, belonging to those who transgress or who
completely deny the truth. So may Allah protect us from that, but
these are, you know, good just definitions to know. Because when
you're reading these verses, or you know, reading certain Hadith,
you want to, you know, again, see what is, you know, what is the
what's ideal and what's we should seek protection from and ask the
last part that to protect us from ever being amongst those who have
any of these negative hearts, right? We don't want any of these
so far, right? The locked heart
and this is in chapter 4724, do they not then earnestly seek to
understand the Quran? Or are their hearts locked? Okay, so this
person whose heart is locked is averse to reading, reflecting,
understanding, seeking knowledge or reflecting upon the Quran. And
there are people who are like that, they just don't have a
relationship with the book of Allah. And so it's like, you know,
there's, there's something, again, a lock on their heart from
actually being open to, to His Word, His message. And it's,
oftentimes it's imposed, it's hard for people to, especially if
they're immersed in sin, to want to engage in any type of, you
know, act, you know, you know, religious act, right. It's hard,
it's like to imagine like, oh, you know, I just drank alcohol last
night, or I went to this, you know, club last night, and now,
you know, how can you so people what they do, and this assumption,
I thought, it's like a, you know, a choice you make, which is if so
long as I'm living this lifestyle, that's, you know, convenient, it's
fun, it's exciting. I cannot do these things, right. And that's,
it's normal. I think most people are like that. But it's again,
it's self imposed if you do that, right, because you're the one who
chooses to put that lock on your heart or spot that is not
preventing you, especially Muslims, and we see Muslims doing
this. Nowadays, there's many Muslims who drink alcohol openly.
It's not a big deal anymore. And you see it at weddings. I mean,
I've been I've seen wedding pictures where they have
you
You know, bottles of champagne on the table for the guests. And I
just like Subhanallah there was a time where, you know, you had a
small group of people who were like, buy the garbage, you know,
cans and, you know, in the parking lot like the big garbage bins, and
you knew what they were doing, but they at least had some shame, and
they would hide and they would keep it away. But now it's out in
the open because people have made a choice. They prefer a different
lifestyle, right? They prefer the lifestyle of, you know, everybody
around them and that's what they're going to do. So they're
imposing on themselves because they have the truth, guaranteed
the same people have put our hands in our house guaranteed guaranteed
many of the same people memorize Quran, they know verses they've
you know, they have all of it available to them. So it's
important to remember this is the lock is not from Allah, it's from
oneself.
So sealed is for those who are completely deny the truth, like
the transgressor or the disbeliever. Like there's,
you know, and that's why we say Allah spot that is the one who
guides in this guides, right? He that's from him. There's no, they,
for they they've transgressed they've chosen. So there's no
openings for them. Right? They turned so but the locked heart is
you. You have you know the truth, you have you know the truth, but
you don't wish to,
you know, engage or in any way have, you know, implement the
truth into your own life. You're just in denial.
For this one, it was 40 Chapter 4724.
Yes.
Sure, the sealed heart was chapter 30, verse 59.
Now, that's why Well, that's what freewill is, right? We all have
free will. And that's one of the things you have to remember,
guidance is, you know, we make the choice, right, when we have the
ability to discern from right and wrong. That's the time where we
make the choice whether or not we follow when the truth is given to
us when the truth is presented to us, we can either choose to accept
it and act on it, or we choose to delay it or not act on it, right.
And so from that point forward, when we make those decisions, than
the rest of it is, you know, the outcome of that decision, right?
It's AI, but it's all in our choice. So it's not that I was
proud that it is selectively, you know, we have the ability to
choose. And so what happens to us once we make the choice, though,
yes, that is, you know, we reap. I mean, those are the consequences
of our actions, right, wherever our choices, but the initial
choice, all of us are on the same, you know, we're going to be judged
according to the same, like that moment, when was that moment when
you when the truth was presented to you? And you, you know, you
made the decision whether or not to oblige or to not right. We'll
all be asked about that. And then, obviously, everything that happens
after that, yeah.
Okay, so we did the locked heart, the blind heart.
This is Chapter 22, verse 46, this is do they not travel through the
land so that their hearts must learn must us learn wisdom. And
they're here, their ears made us learn to hear truly it is not
their eyes that are blind, but their hearts which are in their
chests. So the blind heart is the one where again, everything around
you is obvious. It's there. The truth is visible. I mean, here,
for example, we're in this beautiful, you know, community
where you have access to knowledge. There's, you know,
hundreds were very welcoming community, I've been a part of
different communities. I've traveled, you know, when you feel
I feel like, you know, 100 We're very blessed, right? We have a
community center that's active, it's thriving accommodates the
needs of every buddy, really, if you look at the classes and
offerings that we have here, I don't know of anybody that's not
being taken care of. The elderly have classes, special needs
classes, women's classes, youth. So we have an environment that's
so welcoming and warm, but a lot of people choose, you know, to
walk right past it or to just not even ever enter, you know, ever
enter the space because they've made up their minds. And I've met
with people who are like, Yeah, we don't go to the masjid. We just
don't, you know,
they choose again, not to see the good that Allah has provided for
them.
And, and so that would be, again, a sign of someone with a blind
heart, like the truth or the, all the blessings Allah has given you,
your health, your family, all of those things where they come from,
right. So if you have a heart that is able to recognize the good and
the blessings that you've been given, then you want to be
grateful to the source of those blessings, right. But if you're
blind to all that, or you're entitled, and you just think it's
just, you know,
you're just deserving of certain things, then you're, it's going to
prevent you from seeing the signs of Allah from making those
connections from wanting to draw closer to Him. So there's like a,
you know, there's a barrier there, there's a veil over your eyes. So
there's people who are like that they're just blind to the, to the
NEMA of Allah to the blessings of guidance. Mela, again, protect us
from all of that. Now, all of these, you know, I know, they're,
they're all negative. And it's, again, we're just using, we're
identifying them because it's important to know, the
distinctions. But really the the, the one that the last one here is
the one that we all want, right? This is the heart that we all
should be striving for. Right? The Calvin saline as our brother
mashallah mentioned, right? And this is in chapter 26, verse 88,
verse 89, excuse me.
So what is the collarbone setting? Right? This is, you know, the the
heart that is free from
Vice from evil, right there doesn't want evil for people
doesn't have those, you know,
just it's so connected with all US pride that and wanting so much to
draw near him that it's free from all of those diseases, where it
would wish harm on anybody else where it's transgressors, and sins
and you know, does anything that would displease us apart that, so
this heart is sound, it's that light that we described in the
beginning, right, the heart that's just full of light and removed
from all those black spots. That's the husband's surname, it's just
intact, it's vibrant. And it's knows, you know, its creator, and
it has a connection with its creator. You know, so that's why,
you know, for sure, having presence, you know, being able to
really, again, feel the power of the word of Allah subhanaw taala.
You know, if you if you cry, when you're listening to the book of
Allah, that's a great sign. It's a great sign that your heart has
life. And that there's, you know, that you're, you're, you feel this
connection with your Lord. And there's, there's so many YouTube
videos of how a lot of people who aren't even Muslim, but their
hearts are alive, you've seen them right? There non Muslims who cry
and weep at the Quran,
or even the event, because that's fitrah we all are, you know, we're
all going back to the same one, right? And some hearts can be
awakened. Just even in a language they don't understand. But there's
something about, you know, the power of the book of Allah that
reverberates to them, right? And so there's many people that that
are like that, but they're not. They don't even have to be Muslim.
So what do we say about a Muslim? Who doesn't feel those things?
Right. It's the that's what we covered, right? But the one study,
it feels, you know, that connection and it sound and as I
said, it's free of corruption, disease,
and evil. And the way to attain that heart is active work and
cleansing, just like you cleanse a container, right? You're always
cleansing containers, why even you know,
there's, for example, I'm, I'm always like, you know, I need to
say the science of it, but I have a soap dish in my kitchen sink. I
know many of us do. I am always shocked. I'm like, why does this
get dirty? Like, I don't understand why a soap dish gets,
you know, grime and like, it starts looking dirty, because I'm
like, it's full of soap on the inside. And I'm always rinsing it
on the outside. But Subhanallah still needs to be cleansed, right.
So I'm, I find myself cleaning a soap dish. And I think it's, you
know, ironic, but the heart is similar, even though it's, you
know, it's not, you're never gonna get to a place where you just need
to stop cleaning it, you have to constantly clean it. And it's an
active daily day to day exercise that we have to do. So that's why
studying this is not just like a subject that you you know, read
from cover to cover, and then it's like, okay, I'm good. No, you have
to implement it and there's active, you know, exercises that
you're still you know, we're gonna get into and Shaw as we study it,
but that's why, you know, when you think of the pediment setting, you
want to look at, again, this heart that is intact, but it's intact,
because the one who is, you know, the the possessor of the heart is
working and recognizes that it's, you know, it's something that they
they have to commit to
every single day and you know, the prophesy ism is a perfect example
of that. I mean, when you look at his, Sita, we know who he is he
knew who he was, he knew that he was where he was destined to be,
he knows he's the Beloved of Allah. He knows agendas already
written for him. But yet he's still work, you know, actively was
engaged with his Lord actively did things to keep that connection
thriving and alive. So for anybody who thinks that, oh, I don't have
to pray, or I don't have to do this, you know, those are all just
cancel those things out because nobody with any credibility says
those things who's Muslim or Muslim knows that it is a lifelong
commitment to be a Muslim? And that means active engagement with
your, with your faith and, and being constantly working on
yourself as a work in progress? Yes, right. That's a very good
point. And that's, you know, I think you you might have not been
here in the beginning, but we did. In sharing my own story, I did
mention how, you know, getting caught up in the outward form, is
a big problem, right? Because you're right, we shouldn't put too
much emphasis on practice, per se, it really is about the heart. And
there are very good people, Muslim and non Muslim, who might not be
all, you know, completely, you know, like, they're, they haven't
perfected or really gotten into some of the things that they
should in terms of their spiritual practice, they haven't gotten
found that, you know, rhythm, I guess you could say, where they're
doing things actively and consistently, but they still have
goodness in them, and we can't deny that people are good, you
know, and that goodness comes from a loss of data. And so we
shouldn't discount people based on you know, what they do, but in
terms of, you know, our faith, the, the point of all of this is
to bring them together to bring the outward and inward into
balance, right, so that you are actively doing all of the things
that you shouldn't be doing, because you recognize, that's the
purpose of your creation, almost father created you to worship Him.
So prayer isn't optional, prayer is mandatory on you, because you
realize, like, that's why I'm here, and all of the blessings
that I've been given and all of the, you know, the benefits or the
privileges of existence, our, you know, our, our, our, you know,
from all those other gifts, but in order for me to, we can never
repay him, but the least I can do is, you know, is to, is to worship
him as he asked to be worshipped. And prayer is the first thing
we're going to be asked about on the Day of Judgment. So you take
your prayer seriously, but then at the same time, you also realize
that you're no, you're you're definitely not above people, and
that you shouldn't, you know, see yourself as that and that you're
constantly, like, I've been, like, we've been saying you're a work in
progress, and so that you have that humility that makes you more
focused on your own internal state, then just, you know,
looking at people and checking what they're doing, what they're
not doing. That's not for any of us to do all this month as the
ultimate judge. But I think the the point of, you know, again, our
faith is to bring these two in imbalance together. And so if
there's a disconnect in either or the other, where you're not
practicing enough, you know, or you're doing so much that you're
starting to, you know, look at other people and judge them,
there's a problem with both, you know, we should just be very
focused on ourselves and our own practice, but yes, serve the
creation of Allah subhanaw taala, with humility, and with sincerity,
all as part of our acts of devotion to Him, right, it all
comes back full circle to us wanting to get closer to all of
us.
But thank you for sharing.
Yes.
How do you how do you reconcile? Well, a lot of it does have to do
with our upbringing, right are the environments that we were raised
in, because you have people who are raised in loving, nurturing
homes, and they've been given models of people with really good
character, you know, there's people who are not Muslim, but
they've been raised in homes where they don't lie, they don't drink,
they don't cheat. They're good people, they're taught to serve
others. And so this is very common, it's not that we are the
only people that do good deeds, you know, there's virtues and all
different faiths and backgrounds. So if you're raised in an
environment, where that's your life, and people around you,
that's the kind of people that you've been, you know, you know,
enriched by, that's going to have an effect on you and your
character is going to be built by that. Conversely, you could be
raised in a Muslim household that's toxic, that's
dysfunctional. So you have a faith, you know, the home is is,
you know, all centered around a faith but then unfortunately, the
individuals in the home aren't complying with the faith and
they're actually acting out of it. So it can cause you know, problems
for a person right, in growing in that type of an environment. And
that's where a lot of people's spiritual struggles do come from.
It's like from experience well, like, you know, I believe Islam to
be true, but then I have all these negative people or examples, you
know, around me that are not, you know,
You're practicing Islam the way it should be. So it can cause them to
have spiritual conflicts, right? Because it doesn't you can't
reconcile the two, if you're a believer, you should have a
certain type of character. So how do you you know, say the Shahada?
How do you go and greet people in the masjid and there's, you know,
many people, unfortunately, who do that they'll come into the masjid.
And they'll be so you know, great with everybody else, but then in
their homes, their tie radical. So this can, you know, obviously,
cause a lot of people struggles, but I think ultimately, it comes
down to, yeah, the environment that a person was raised with. And
that's why we see goodness in all people, you know, that almost
pride that, uh, you know, it's from him, ultimately. But he,
there's definitely virtue virtuous people that are amongst us, that
don't necessarily,
you know, that it's not because of a slam, that they have those
virtues, but the still the same. Ideas are taught in other
traditions as well, you know, Christianity, Judaism, buddies,
all the great major religions, we have very similar ideals in terms
of morality in terms of, you know, things, you know, high goals that
people want and virtues we have, you know, it's all similar.
Coming in, okay, are there any questions so far? So let me just
see the time check. Yes?
Right, yes.
Actively sending? Yes, exactly. Thank you. So yes, did everybody
get that. So if you're, you know, in an environment where you are
around negativity and toxicity, you're likely going to be affected
by that it's quite your heart is going to gradually be darkened,
right. And that's why Samba matters. That's why it matters who
you spend your time with. If you spend time with people who pull
you away from the remembrance of Allah subhanaw taala, you will
likely fall into their same patterns of behavior. The opposite
is true. If you've, you know, spend time with people who remind
you of Allah, they're going to increase you, you're going to feel
more connected with him. So it's very important to look at this
people that you spend most of your time with. And then the blackened
heart is where you're actively doing something to, you know, to
take away that light source where you are sitting, you're doing your
transgressing, you're not fulfilling your obligations,
you're not praying, you're not doing the obligations that you
should be doing that is going to accumulate, as you know, kind of
like a cancer around your heart, you want to think of it that way.
A spiritual heart, it's cancer, a sins or cancers right. Now, what
does cancer do? If anybody from the medical background knows it's
there's cells that rapidly grow, and they take over whatever
they're growing on to the point that they destroy the healthy
tissue, and eventually cause it to die? And so May Allah protect us
from that, right? So those distinctions are important, but
thank you for mentioning that. So now I just wanted to go over the
biography of the author, because again, it's important to know who
he is and, and, and why he put this beautiful text together for
us. So this biography was actually comprised by our very own share
Harami here, who whose spiritual counselor here may Allah protect
him. He's also the husband of Dr. Rania Awad. So please make the
offer for him as well for contributing to this. But you
Mohammed Mohammed Mohammed Mohammed he was born in the
country of Mauritania. In the year 1260 hijra, or 1844.
He was born into one of the religious clans known as the Zoa.
in Mauritania, which made scholarship their primary focus.
They took every effort to pass on knowledge to every successive
generations so he was 100 born into the perfect environment right
for this. He came from a long line of scholars who were also
accomplished authors and religious judges bodies who ran traditional
Islamic universities known as mandalas. Okay his father is
Claudia Hamad file is set up by the Mohammed and fell the Son of
God Allah mean, the son of Cadila matar, the son of paddy alpha and
Musa.
Even though many of his grandfather's were parties or
judges Mohamed Mahmoud chose not to take the position of a judge
preferring to spend his time authoring books and especially
with the focus around spirituality to sell off and the Arabic
language so those are his specialties.
Excuse me, he's from
A family known as the Jacobi Yean, who are descendants of Jaffa ibn
Abi Taalib, the cousin of the province lies to them. His mother
is Madame Benz Mohamed Mahmoud, evident now he and she was also
very knowledgeable, and she's credited to be his first teacher.
So for all the mothers in the room take pride in that, you know that
hamdulillah he's one of many scholars who've, who've said the
same believing Imam Shafi, many of our great scholars, that their
mothers were their very first teachers. So
him that
he was a while he was still a child, he memory he memorized the
entire Quran at the hands of his mother. So his mother again handed
her that was his first teacher but also his first quarter and teacher
and produced a half up so even if you're not his necessarily
teaching your children but you're still you know, putting them in
environments where they're learning the book of Allah
inshallah you have a part of that, you know, you'll get the reward of
that dropping them off to teachers or Sunday schools where your
children are learning for both mothers and fathers is is a great
thing to do. So Insha Allah, may Allah
reward everyone here, who does that and increase in encourage us
to do that to to have our children always connected to the Quran. But
here's an example of a mother who did that for her son, right. He
was a great scholar of his time and authored many works on what he
saw, as much needed. relevant knowledge. In total, he authored
70 works, including books, poems, and commentaries, and he passed
away in the year 1323.
in Mauritania, so this book is written in the format of a poem
actually in Arabic. Okay, So has anybody actually read parts of it?
Or any part of it? You have? Okay, I'm that good. Very good. 100. And
so yeah, it's written with the Arabic text isn't in this or my
translation? I don't know if any of the new versions are is there
Arabic in your version? No. Okay. So there's no Arabic at all on
this. Yeah. So my, because I know they reprinted it, but mine is a
little older. But yeah, it's a it's a poem. And so Subhanallah
he, I mean, we can just go ahead and jump into
the introduction on page 13.
So I wanted to read from this part of this introduction page and
Sharla.
Does anybody want to read as well? Maybe they like to read out loud?
Any? Yes, you'd like to read out loud? Please do Bismillah. So go
ahead and read for us starting from page 13. Go all the way until
we have the word on the third paragraph. Hi. Yeah. And then
we'll see if anybody else wants to jump in.
Oh, okay. I'm sorry. So my page 13 is the introduction to
purification.
That's page one. Oh, okay. Okay, sorry.
Okay, I should actually grab a new copy. Maybe we're on the same
page. Okay, so where it says courtesy? The heart I hope it's
the same. Because anything changes? Oh, just like well hit
and you're so sweet. Thank you so much.
Perfect. Okay. Great. So yes, we'll, we'll go all the way to the
next page. Well, ours is very different.
I need a new copy. Inshallah. Okay, please. Bismillah. For a
moment. Thank you. So we've learned quite a few different
terms here. Right? We should be very familiar. I think for the
most part, we should all know what Adam is right? We all know that
this matters.
But this idea of shame, I think is really important to talk about
because, as is mentioned in this last paragraph that was just read,
we've, we come from a culture at a time now where people really look
down on shame. And there's a reason for that. Because, you
know, shaming by a person to another person is one thing,
right? But the actual concept of shame is is part of our fifth
it's, it's a good thing to have an internal shame, where you yourself
feel bad about the things that you've done, you feel remorse, you
feel regret. And then you, you You're, you're uncomfortable
because of that feeling. Right? That's not a bad thing. That's a
good thing. But sometimes they're conflated. And it's because you
know, in a society that doesn't have
you know, an appreciation, maybe you could say, for religious
tradition, the way it used to right now, as we mentioned
earlier, people are so
You know, repelled by anything that comes from organized
religion, that as soon as you even mentioned those words, they push
it away. And any ideas that come from those things also they push
away. So an idea of shame has become their shaming, shame,
right? To the point where anytime you even talk about people feeling
bad about certain things, then you're being held, you know, like,
you're the one that's wrong. Like, how could you shame them? But
it's, that's not right, right, we have as Muslims to appreciate
that, we have fitrah. And that fitrah is is part of the fitrah is
agitated when we sin, right. And that agitation can come out with a
type of internal disgust, where you feel by yourself, and if
you've ever sinned, and you know, some.
So I don't know if it's a hadith or how but I've just heard it over
the years that, you know, when you bleed, when you're sitting in the
midst of the sin Iblees is right there with you until you do it.
Right. Like he wants you to get to the point where you're doing
whatever the sin is, but once the sin is over and done, he flees
because his job is done. Right? It's like, call us, he got you to
the point of doing what you wanted you to do. So that's why
oftentimes, after people do things they know they shouldn't do what
happens.
As you feel horrible, right? You feel so wrong, that is your own
soul. Right, your soul basically speaking to you, and reminding you
like you should, it shouldn't have done that. That's wrong. But
that's internal shame. And that's not a bad thing. I know, it's, I
just I wanted to mention that because I feel like we're getting
this total opposing message constantly everywhere we look
about any shame at all. But that's, you know, I agree that
people shouldn't shame one another, that's not a slam, you
have no right to shame another human being even your own child,
when they make mistakes, you should correct. And you should,
you know, be the parent and be the objective person that can help
them see where they went wrong. But you are not in a position to
shame them, humiliate them, make them feel lesser than, and, you
know, send them into their bedrooms, like, you know, don't do
that, or what's your spouse's or with anybody, your siblings, or
whoever's in your life. Sometimes, you know, people can get really
ugly, with other people when they make mistakes, or, or sin or act
out. But it's very self righteous, right? It's from your own neffs.
It has nothing to do with them, and wanting them to be, you know,
better, or it's just like, you're offended, and it's personal. And
now you want to angrily shame them. That's not Islam. And that's
not any good. Nobody has a right to do that to another person. You
know, and there's so many examples of Subhan Allah, the Prophet was
showing us how we should actually, like, for example, the woman who
came to him having had just committed adultery, you know, she
was feeling shame. And she wanted to confess her sin. But the
problem was, um, how did he react? He walked away from her.
He, he was acting like, he didn't even hear her.
Because he didn't want to, you know,
put her in that position. And, you know, but she was very, she pushed
and pushed. And because she wanted to be punished, she committed
adultery, she's slept, you know, I mean, she acted outside of her
marriage. So she wanted to
face her punishment in this world, which is what had punishment is,
you know, capital punishment is real. And then at that time, he
chose, but he didn't want to initially do it. So he just walk
and kept walking.
Because he didn't want to do that. But here we have people who, when
they, you know, confess something to their parents, or their spouses
or whatever, the response is just so negative, and it makes them
feel even worse about themselves. You know, I work with youth. So I
see this a lot. A lot of youth have, you know, hard time opening
up to their parents because the parents responses to shame. And
it's all about how could you do this to me, and what will people
say, and it's not even about your child and their Asherah and their
heart and their connection with Allah, it's all you and if you
really pay attention to your words, a lot of the times it's
totally about you, because you can't handle them doing something
that's going to compromise you. So that's where the anger comes from.
And that's where the punishments come from. And some people take it
to a whole different degree and physically assault and do really
horrible things. But it's all knifes whereas, you know if you
truly cared
about them, you would want to stop and, you know, counsel, like, see
what's happening like, Oh my God, you're you know, you're under
spiritual attack shaitan has got you and I need to help you out of
that. So let me, you know envelop you with love and compassion and
understanding, and try to bring you back not to push you further
away. So it's important to again know the distinction between a
good healthy internal shame and shaming that's negative and toxic
and unacceptable. Because I think we're conflating them as all being
the same, and they're not.
Okay, so we stopped at some anthropologists. Yes.
That's, I'm so glad you brought this up. Because, you know, I
don't know.
I'm kind of curious to know
who or what let you lead you to believe that modesty is defined by
those specific terms, because, in some respects, yes, but have you?
For example, have you studied the four temperaments in Islam? Okay,
so the four temperaments is a whole beautiful science that
actually speaks to the colorful, you know, nature of human
personality. And it definitely doesn't impose limitation on boys
or girls or men or women, that you have to be, you know, this timid,
quiet person. No, it actually says, there are four temperaments
that people can have. And some of them are boisterous, and, you
know, very strong and fiery and active and, and others are, you
know, softer and more introverted. But that's definitely not the
golden standard, that last one, that in order for you to be, you
know, a good Muslim, that you have to be necessarily quiet and timid
and introverted and not have you know, what I mean? That's, that's
not I don't know, if you've been sort of told that, but that's
certainly not true.
Right?
It is culture, it's absolutely culture. And that's why we have to
push back like those notions are not right. And if you feel that
people are stepping out, and they're, you know, isolating or
targeting a certain demographic, with a certain type of shame,
that's unfair, I would push back on that and say, No, because our
girls and I, if you, I don't know if you've ever sat in any of my
sessions, but I work a lot with about female empowerment and young
girls. And so for me, that's something that we should
definitely push back on, if you observe it, and you feel like
people are culturally imposing their views in a masjid space, and
actually, you know, taking away a girl's ability to be herself,
because of their own cultural views. That's not another message
is a place for everybody. And not to say that, you know, everybody
should be walking around, screaming and you know, doing
whatever, there's decorum. Of course, it's this is a place of
the sanctified place, and we have certain rules that, but it should
be across the board is what I'm saying, right? All the rules
should be for everybody. Right? And if it's if it's happening,
where it's not a gendered issue, right, then that's a different
because they're telling everybody quiet hush word, I'm not sure. But
if it's like, your girls are being isolated, like you, your girls,
you should not do that. That's where I would say, Well, wait a
second, you know, their children, they're young, first of all, and
the gender factor doesn't matter. You know, that's, if you're going
to teach someone to have decorum or, you know, proper behavior,
don't gender don't make it about a matter of that. Because in Islam,
those rules are for all of us. When we look at a dub, and we're
looking at all of these, you know, ways of being there, it's for men
and women, boys and girls, you know, it's not about or of this
group gets special rules. And this group can do whatever they want.
That's entirely cultural. And those double standards are so
toxic, and that's what pushes a lot of people out of the Masjid.
It's why people are unmasked, because they don't feel welcome
coming to the masjid. They don't feel like there's a space for
them. But this is the house of Allah subhanaw taala. So that's
why, as a mother, you know, if, if you're observing that I would say
go right to the leadership and say, We need to change the way we
frame these things, because I don't want to come across, like my
girls, or the or the girls are the only ones who should be talked to
this way, you know, if we have rules make it for everybody, you
know, and yeah, pushback on that. But thank you for bringing that
up. Because I think it's, it's a very,
you know, it's there. But it's like we, we sometimes don't talk
about these things. So it's like hard to address them. But when you
mentioned these, I'm sure everybody's minds, kind of you
know, we're all like thinking about experiences that we've had
and now it's something right and maybe we'll be more aware of it
next time. Maybe we can step in, you know, if we see something that
we think is being unfair where
It does, you know, impose something that, again is not from
our religion. Modesty is about having, you know, just a proper,
you know, boundary, you know, knowing boundaries, and really
being able to protect yourself from harm. You know, it's a lot of
it has to do with preventative, you know, measures for yourself
and for other people. But it's a it's about boundaries and just
creating that, you know, having that kind of understanding, but
it's boundaries for everybody, not just a girls issue or a woman's
issue. Yes.
Absolutely. And I just actually wrote something the other day, I
posted it, but I wanted to tweak it. So I took it off. But I
actually wrote the whole thing. And it was the whole thing was
about this topic. That modesty is not just for girls, because this
message is very, it's actually hurting our boys, our boys need to
be reminded that modesty is a part of being a Muslim. And so if we
turn a blind eye to Matt, you know, toxic masculinity, which is
everywhere, and the culture that it's breeding, even in young boys,
were boys are perfectly comfortable walking around without
their shirts, and they're just showing all this machismo and
bravado and they're talking a certain way, or they engage in
like really inappropriate jokes and banter that is totally void of
all modesty. And we think, Oh, it's okay. But boy culture, locker
room talk, boys, bantering, boys will be boys, let them be, but
then we do the opposite where the second our girls say anything, or
show like a little bit of something, you know, we shame her
and make her it's like, what are you doing? That is the most
distorted and horrible message because you're empowering one to
do things that are actually detrimental to the spiritual
health boys should be totally modest, they should not feel, you
know, open to showing their bodies the same way a girl does. Why? Why
should a boy feel totally comfortable with that, you know,
100 I like I have two boys. And they were recently at a sports
event. And, you know, someone mentioned that all the boys were
taking off their shirts. And my eldest son was like, refusing,
like, No way. I refuse to do that. And all the boys are totally
confused, like, what's the big deal? You know, we're out, it's
hot. But he just hits part of his fit that right now he's only 11.
And I was like, I'm so proud of him that he didn't give in, that
he didn't give into the peer pressure and feel the need to show
off and show himself that he maintained his own modesty because
he didn't feel comfortable. And that's, um, that is something that
we have inculcated from the as young children, you know, I don't
think parents it's not cute to have your children walking around,
like, you know, in their underwear, or with their clothes
off. Even toddlers. Why? Why is that cute? And you see some
people, it's no big deal. No, if you don't do that, from a young
age, where you teach them that their bodies are beautiful, but
they should protect them, and they should protect, you know, to keep
you know what I mean, keep that for themselves, then God forbid,
you know, other things, it can lead to other things, it can lead
to them, God forbid either being taken advantage of, or them just
getting way too comfortable with with that part of their being at
an early age, which is exactly what's happening in society. It's
hyper sexualized, young children are being taught to see themselves
that way. And so that leads to early engagement and early
promiscuity and early behaviors, illicit behaviors that we don't
want any of our kids to be doing. But it's related. Because when
modesty is taken out of the picture, and you're just like, be
free, and you know, if you you know, have it flaunted, and it's
okay. And it's hard to say no. You know, that's, you know, not that's
not from our, our faith. So I agree. Thank you for mentioning
that. It's for all men and women. I'm sorry, I saw some hands. Yes.
Okay, so the two older ones are, okay, so
this is a, you know, pretty big topic. And we address this a lot
in our parenting sessions, because a lot of parents are struggling
with the same thing. So I want to put it that out there, you're not
the only one a lot of parents are having, and it's a new world, you
know, we have to our generation, you know, internet kind of started
with us, but what it's become is so different, especially when you
consider the immense pressures that teenagers are under already,
even without social media, they already have so much internal
pressure that they you know, from themselves, but also in their peer
groups to, you know, to fit in. And so then you add social media,
it's a whole other layer. And there's a lot of I mean, I don't
know if you have, often you talk to teens, but if you talk to them,
they'll kind of give you an idea of like the politics or the you
know, the rules of engagement for teens on social media. It's
different than adults. Like it's it's much more complicated. Like
you have to be very careful that you don't come across
To desperate, but then at the same time, you have to reciprocate. So
yeah, if you're gonna pose a picture, post a picture of
yourself in a modest attire, but then a friend, even if it's from
an opposite gender is liking your pictures, it's kind of like social
currency, you got to trade back and forth with likes, you know,
and follows. And it's a lot more pressure than I think adults can
appreciate. So we have to be understanding that if you once you
open that portal of social media for them, there are rules of
engagement that they feel that they have to oblige by, but I
think the conversations you have with them that constantly remind
them to not give, give away their like to not compromise their
principles is really important. Because when I talk to teens, I
Oh, that's my focus, do not compromise yourself, do not put
yourself out there in in a position that can eventually harm
you. Because the digital footprint is real. And people are sometimes
not aware of that, because teens have a problem, first of all, with
self regulation, because you know, their prefrontal cortex isn't
fully developed. And so they really can be very impetuous, and
they get excited, they're excitable, so something happens in
the moment, they snap it boom, or they send a picture, boom, but
they don't realize like that has a lasting footprint that could
actually really come back to harm you, maybe five to three, one year
down the line, you don't want to do that. So when you're using
social media, be incredibly responsible with it. And actually,
you know, before you post anything, go back, maybe you can
write, like, sort of like a checklist for them, where you have
specific questions that they have to answer before they hit send,
you know, which is, is it gonna make a lot angry, first of all,
you know, whatever it is I'm posting, is it gonna make mom and
dad upset? Could this somehow affect my, you know, reputation
moving forward, you know, down the line, but the kind of have like a
little briefs checklist and say, that's your internal checklist.
And if you think it's green light, go, I trust you, and I trust your
judgment. But remember, you know, that this is what I'm protecting
you from, and I think as long as you have those constant check ins,
you're okay. Because, remember, again, it's so hard. Once they've
they're in that world, it's hard to and that's why I mean, I
personally, I always tell parents try to delay it as often as
possible. I mean, 1617 is still good, I see some parents 1112 year
olds are on social media. And you know, I was it's sad, but you
know, I, I do have extended family members and people that are on,
you know, that are connected with me on Instagram. And you can see,
you know, on the Explore page, what people are liking. And I've,
I stumbled on someone's page the other day, and I was just shocked,
because I can see, even if you don't do that, if you go to a
certain person's page, let's say a celebrity, the top likes, they'll
tell you, you know who they are, if they're connected to you, you
know, so like, let's say,
someone like Kylie Jenner, you know, she's got almost what 2
million maybe followers on Instagram, if you go to Kylie
Jenner's page, whatever posts she has, if one of the people that are
connected to you likes them, you'll see it, you know, it's not
like, you have to actively go look for it, right. So I remember, you
know, just recently I did that, and I saw a very young girls
liking incredibly provocative images that she had posted. And I
was shocked. I was like, oh, no, she was like, way too young. To
like that image, that image is horrible. It's very, like, you
know, over. So we kind of have to, you know, talk to our, our youth
about, you know, engagement and like, you know, you shouldn't be
observing certain things, you shouldn't certainly be endorsing
certain things and like is an endorsement, whether you like it
or not, you know, if you're, if your friends are going out, and
they're getting drunk and playing beerbongs and you're liking it,
because you think it's a funny picture, you are endorsing that
lifestyle, so make it you know, have that discernment, you know
what I mean? And those are the conversations, I think you have to
have to help them see, like, even though you think you're being a
good friend, by just, it's not a big deal, just a picture, what
you're saying is that I you know, I approve of that lifestyle, and
that's totally, you know, antithetical to your, your faith,
your belief system, so don't do that, you know, but giving them I
think guidelines on how they engage is really important and not
just saying, Oh, I'm just gonna try to be your friend and I'm,
like, you know, step back, that's a mistake. Don't do that. As
parents, you should be overseeing what they're doing once they're on
social media, and and giving them guidelines constantly. You know,
Charlotte, yes, absolutely. Absolutely. No, thank you. Because
all the other stuff is yes, has to do with their, you know,
relationships with that, but most importantly is is absolutely the
spiritual impact, right? Because yes, we
Being desensitized to things is also a chronic problem that we
have in the world. We've all we're all afflicted by the
sensitization. We've all been desensitized to sin to, like the
worst social ills around us, because we've seen it so much. So
exposing your eye to things will lead you down that path. And
that's why when they're engaging on social media, they should be
very select, they should have you know, they should be very specific
about what they're going to do and they're not going to do and, you
know, just giving them those guidelines and that type of
Naseeha I think should hopefully help Inshallah, yes.
First of all, I have to ask, Are your parents in the room?
Are they
excellent job father. This is a very articulate and smart young
man, Masha, Allah. May Allah bless you, what grade are you in? 11
very, I haven't met an 11th grader that had that much. Right.
MashAllah just eloquence and ability to, you know, really put
out such a great question. Thank you so much for that. Very
thoughtful, um, you know, you're speaking to a homeschooler. So I
don't know if you want to hear my answer.
But with, with respect, with respect, I have nieces and nephews
that are in public school, I have many friends that put their kids
in public school, I really think a lot of it has to do with the
parenting. And clearly mashallah your parents have
filled you with a sense of identity and pride in who you are.
And that strength that sees this a challenge? I don't know, if all,
you know, students have that, you know, same, you know, like ability
to do that, because maybe their environment is different. So if
you're asking me, generally speaking, I mean, I do believe,
and I'm just being honest, I think that public schools have gotten to
a point where they're very toxic, not just for Muslim kids, I think,
for all children, and this is why we're seeing a huge increase in so
many different mental health issues. And, you know, a lot of
problems that are high schoolers are experiencing, and I know, I
have friends who are social workers, they work on campus, and
they meet with regularly, children who are struggling with drugs with
sort of, you know, suicidal ideation with a lot of, you know,
anxiety disorders. And it's very common, it's not like, it's just a
certain group of kids. You know, when I was in school, there were
groups that we thought like, Okay, those are those kids, you know,
they're caught up in all the bad stuff. But now everybody's doing
it. And it's across, you know, all demographics, or all socio
economic backgrounds, you have some of you know, according to the
research, I've read and heard, some of the most affluent areas
are actually the worst, where you have rampant drug abuse, a lot of
promiscuity. So it's like, where's the safe haven anymore, right. And
I feel like our schools are really turning into just really, really
toxic places for children. So I'm not a fan, generally speaking, but
again, when I feel like a family is on it, and they their children
have, are supplemented with other things that can protect them from
all these things they manage, because I've met several students
like yourself, mashallah, who don't seem like they're faced, or
and actually, they can, they're likely doing, you know, good work,
where they're actually pushing back and trying to be a force of
good for the students around them, you know, so. So I think it just
depends on every family needs to make that decision for themselves.
But I do think that we are seeing a trend, more and more families,
not just Muslim, are moving away from the public school model and
looking into alternative schooling, that includes
homeschooling, that includes private schools that includes
coops and really creating, you know, a lot of people, for
example, in tech, it's an unknown fact, some of the most wealthiest
and successful people in tech do not send their children to
conventional school programs, they actually look for and or create
alternative schools that are very much similar to a more, you know,
tailored but homeschooling sort of model where it's, you know,
looking at the individual students needs and helping, you know,
cultivating healthy environments where they're not having to deal
with a lot of the social pressures. So I think, you know,
to answer your question, yeah, it depends on the individual family.
But generally speaking, I do feel like we as a community, because
we're seeing not only social problems affecting the youth, but
also faith crises. This is the other problem because, you know,
there are there's an agenda and we have to be very clear about that
there is an agenda to deconstruct people's concept of faith and
religion, and to kind of, you know, just push them into a
different direction. For example, how many of you have heard of iron
Rand?
Right? So her
or philosophies, she's a philosopher. objectivism I think
is what it's called, is very popular in academia. And even in
the high school level, the iron foundry foundation Foundation,
excuse me, she, they send like hundreds of 1000s of books for
free every year to public schools across this country. And her
entire philosophy is very anti religion in every way. It's very
much about just you, do you, you know, it's all about self, the
self. And really, there's no social, like, you know, like, you
know, the, like responsibility to for the other, it's really much
more about, you know, taking care of your own needs. But these
philosophies are becoming so popular, I remember reading
somewhere, that her book was in the Library of Congress, second
after the Bible, you know, in terms of popularity. And so it's
her philosophies are everywhere. And this is why you see a lot of
people in high school, but also at the college level,
increasingly pushing back on,
you know, organized religion and finding ways to, you know, get
their message across, you know,
you know what I mean, in indirect ways, in the classroom
environment. I remember I had a mom say that her daughter, she was
a high schooler, she was very practicing, almost at the point, I
mean, she was doing her prayers, Mashallah. And she was very close
to wearing her hijab full time, she was wearing it part time. And
then she took a course, on philosophy. And her instructor was
total atheist and started, you know, pummeling all the students
with all these questions and making them question and doubt,
you know, all faiths, but on specific social issues. So what
they do is they take social justice issues, right. And they'll
start making, you know, innocent children start questioning their
faith. So that caused her a big conflict, because one of the
issues, which is actually a big social justice issue now, or it
has been for a while, but it's very popular, you know, talk about
and is it does cause a lot of youth Muslim youth conflict is the
LGBTQ rights issues, right? This is a big, you know, I have, I
mean, I've met with several families where their teens are
struggling with faith, because they don't know how to reconcile
that part of Islam. You know, they have friends who are gay, or they,
you know, from, from kindergarten, or whatever, and they just don't
know how to navigate that. So what they're left with is a crisis in
faith. And the next thing, you know, you know, their doubting,
just recently, I had someone, you know, call me with that very
concerned. So it's common, but this is what unfortunately, being
in an environment where, where you're, you know, being
conditioned to think a certain way,
on the notion that you're being deconditioned. That's what that's
what's kind of interesting is that they're, they sell it like they're
helping you free your mind from the confines of, you know, being
indoctrinated by organized religion, but then they're just
filling your mind with their own version of their organized
religion, right, which is basically hedonism, and whatever
you want to do, do it. So you have to kind of, you know, ask yourself
as a parent, do you want to put your child in an environment like
that? You know, where they're going to be susceptible to all
kinds of different messages?
And are they prepared for that environment like that? That's
really the question. Someone like yourself, again, I don't know your
background, but if you've been attending classes and you're
mashallah learned and you've studied your deen, and you kind of
already have a Hamdulillah, solid grounding of who you are, maybe
you're the type of person that's like, I'm up for debate, let's
talk, you know, and you challenge those ideas. Right? And you're
willing to, or you're able to defend your position. But I don't
know if if everybody is in that position to do that. So that's why
I think it's a very personal conflict. Yes, a lot of hands.
On,
which is so important. I'm so glad you mentioned that because one of
the things whether your kids go to sliming school, private school or
even homeschool, it's very important that we as parents
actively engage them with their community center or somehow find a
supplement where they have another environment that actually does
help them in their faith identity, right. And so and the research
also shows that that the more you invite your children to
participate with their local religious center, the less likely
they're going to fall into the six major risk behaviors that teens
fall into right? Drug abuse, alcohol, promiscuity, all those
things that were worried about smoking, all of those things get
reduced, the more they're engaged with their religious
You know, organization. So it's very important to, to offer that
as a supplement, because you know, if they're 90% of their time is
with students or in an environment that has no mention of Islam or
even against Islam, possibly. And it's just really, you know,
spiritually, totally dry, there's nothing there, then how do we
expect them to bolster themselves and to fortify themselves to be
able to tackle the serious issues that they're taking on, if we're
not giving them some supplementals to all of that right to counter
that. And so the way you can do that is to either bring them here,
or another option, if you if it's hard for you, logistically, and I
highly encourage parents to do this is to create halacha groups
in your home, for your children, invite their friends, invite their
parents, or you know, whoever that you need to invite. But if you
can't, if you don't have like, a place to outsource, then take the
reins and do it, it's once a month or once every other week, or
whatever is easy for you, even quarterly is better than nothing.
Because it provides a space and a time for them to be around kids
that are like them, and to learn. And I mean, I've been to home
Hello customer, they do that they'll have you know, an effort
where all the parents will come together. And it's like a one,
maybe once a month thing or once every two three month thing. But
then they'll invite a speaker, they'll invite a popular speaker
to come and say, you know, this is for you guys, we're doing this
because we want to provide a space for you to be with your peer
groups, maybe kids you like but you don't see enough because you
go to different schools, and everybody's over scheduled and you
don't have enough time. But at least we can help you socialize in
a good healthy way. And learn at the same time from a speaker
that's relevant, who's going to be able to speak to them on their
level. It's interesting, it's not a boring speech that you forced
them to come to. Because sometimes parents think like, Oh, I'm gonna
bring them to the gym. I had one that said, Well, if the gym or
football is like, way over their head, and they're literally dying
inside, because they're like, why am I here? You know, this is the
most boring thing ever, you know, and they are, you know, looking at
their phones the entire time. Do not pat yourself on the back
because you brought them to Juma. That's not enough, you know, you
might have actually made them never want to come back to the
masjid because that was such an awful experience. So look for the
speakers that your kids actually like. And I'm just going to do a
plug now because I trust our dear teacher, sister, Hannah matar, she
posted the other day about a chef who's going to come here on I
think the 25th, right? Chef Hamza Karmali, right? Is that his
correct name. So he's coming on the 25th. If you have a teenager,
you should come, by the way, make an od gouter. But a teenage boy
especially.
They say he's fantastic with boys. Like he's really good with youth,
not just boys, I'm sure girls can attend to, but he's really good
with youth. And he talks about all these hot topic issues in a
relevant way where the youth feel like, okay, this guy gets us,
that's the kind of speaker you want to be looking for, for your
children. Because, you know, we have mashallah diverse, you know,
you know, healthy, robust, you know, speakers lists that have
people all over the country that come and go, you know, through
through our massages and our institutions. But that doesn't
mean that every single person is going to match, you know, just
like, so you want to look to which speaker Do your kids like, and
then see about their programming and see if you can bring them to
those events, you know, but make it an active thing where you do
ahead of time don't. And one thing, I'll just say this, and no
teenager has ever asked me to say this. But I feel like Parents also
need to be respectful of teen schedules and their lives. I
really think it's wrong to impose what you want on your children
just because their kids and you just do what I say, your kids will
respect you much more if you go to them and say, Listen,
you know, I know you've got finals and papers to write and a lot of
things going on, you might have plans with your friends. But guess
what, I would like to spend some time with you too. So can we mark
a date in the calendar and you let me know what day works for you.
This is a really nice, healthy, respectful exchange that shows
your teens that you respect their schedules. Because I think the
worst thing to do is to drag your teen by, you know, just totally
they don't want to be here but you're dragging them because you
think it's good for them. You're going to build resentment in their
heart, they're not going to want to be here. It's just not healthy
to do that. So don't do that. Okay, have a plan ahead. Make it a
priority. Inshallah. This is a you know, from the law, really
insightful. Are there other other hands? Yes, you and then you
yourself. Go ahead, please.
No, that's a great point, Marshall, and I agree 100% Keeping
your kid
is active in extracurricular activities, things that are going
to benefit them life skills, sports, all of those things is
really valuable and important. It's great for confidence building
it's great for it'll it'll, you know, the the benefits they'll
reap for decades if they do that. And it protects them, like you
said, from boredom, which is what usually, people do when they're
bored is they resort to Yeah, you know, wasting time browsing,
watching YouTube videos for hours on end or binging Netflix or
whatever people do. It's because they're not doing something more
productive. So I agree with that. And for youth, that is a way of,
you know, avoiding a lot of those problems. So thank you for that.
And hopefully, any parents who might not have thought about those
things, maybe that can be a priority, you know, about how can
I, you know, look at and especially if you're in like, the
city of Pleasanton, I know, all the cities have, and they have
their calendars up, you know, on online, they have year round
classes that they offer, that are not necessarily connected to a
school, but still are sometimes even funner. They have, you know,
fun options that they do try to make available for parents and
youth there after school hours, so to accommodate for school, but I
would say look into those city classes and see they're
affordable. They're not, you know, terribly. You know, you're not
breaking the bank taking them. Yes.
always updating, so check that out. But it's all next. So for
next week, just because we're almost out of time here for next
week. I'm sorry, looking at the new book here, I'd like you to
please go have a look into the first three diseases here.
Okay, we're going to try to actually go to four, we're going
to try to be ambitious. The previous session I did, we only
had about an hour and 15 minutes per class. We have more time here.
So we can actually give more time to each one. But so maybe we could
do four. So we'll do miserliness, right all the way through to what
is it envy? No.
Love of the world is that correct?
Oh, wait, I should just go you know, I'm flipping through when I
just go to the first the contents. So yeah, go to miserliness wanting
this hatred and iniquity. So we'll go through those four for next
week. So if you can read from page 10 to 20 Inshallah, and finish the
rest of the introduction, the introduction is got a lot of great
insights. We didn't get through all of it, but read that on your
own all the way up until then, and then we're gonna go through each
disease Inshallah, and we'll, we'll talk in depth, okay. And if
you have any questions about each disease, please come prepared,
because this is exactly the kind of discussion I really appreciate
that you guys were so actively participating. That's awesome.
That's kind of classes I like to have. So bring your questions
inshallah and we'll see you next week. We'll end in the onshore
sabbatical home over half the country the one that you know how
to land and stuff that are going to take along was that I was gonna
say the No, no, no, have you been a Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa
sallam wanted to set up this mnemonic of theater and so Lucha
Rottman Rahim. Allah answer in Linsanity hawser ll Alina and Manu
while I'm in a slightly high tea with the vessel with happy with
the vessel this
is like glow hidden again.