Hosai Mojaddidi – Purification of the Heart for Muslimahs (Monthly Sisterhood Halaqa Part 6)

Hosai Mojaddidi
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The importance of nurturing one's heart to overcome fear and prevent complications is discussed in various segments of the transcript. The spiritual heart is a spiritual aspect and is often discussed in modern spirituality and the importance of finding a guide or spiritual master to help achieve success. The importance of finding a spiritual master to transform oneself and transform oneself in a certain way is emphasized, along with the importance of teaching children to manage behavior and not yell at them. The importance of understanding differences between men and women in terms of their processes and being a good mother is also emphasized. The importance of embracing a new "reminder" process for all family members is emphasized, along with the importance of learning about Islam and being a productive person. The speakers also encourage their friend to pray and take care of their situation.

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			I was in a,
		
00:00:02 --> 00:00:06
			I was walking with my son in
target. And we were, you know, I
		
00:00:06 --> 00:00:10
			had a cart and he just told me,
Mommy, look at this, he was
		
00:00:10 --> 00:00:14
			showing me something. So I turned
around for like, I don't know,
		
00:00:14 --> 00:00:20
			even five seconds, maybe. And by
that time a woman with her, she
		
00:00:20 --> 00:00:23
			was, uh, she had a stroller, she
walked past me and I almost hit
		
00:00:23 --> 00:00:26
			her. I didn't I didn't even come
closer. But I almost did. And I
		
00:00:26 --> 00:00:30
			was like, Oh, I'm so sorry. And
she just looked at me so harshly
		
00:00:30 --> 00:00:35
			and gave me that like, like, maybe
look up disgust. And I was like,
		
00:00:35 --> 00:00:38
			Oh my God, it was like the most
innocent thing and it was like
		
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			bias. But you could tell like she
was just so angry. So you have a
		
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			lot of angry people out there and
you know, the biller, but the
		
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			point being is, you know, we have
these different aspects to our
		
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			being. And, you know, we in our
faith, we don't believe that, we
		
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			believe that, that the intellect
has to be nurtured, it has to be,
		
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			you know, it can overcome right if
you with knowledge with as I say,
		
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			knowledge is power, right? With
knowledge with proper
		
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			understanding, you can overcome
both your appetites and your
		
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			irascible soul and, and have
proper, you know, in conductivity,
		
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			you can have people who are
civilized and actually conducting
		
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			themselves the proper way, but
that needs to be nurtured. And so
		
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			we don't have this idea of
original sin, but we do have the
		
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			responsibility is on parents of
children to be able to give them
		
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			this, these tools, right, so that
they can overcome their neffs.
		
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			Otherwise, what do you have you
have,
		
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			you know, if you if you don't
teach your child to restrain
		
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			themselves, if you don't teach
your child to not give into every
		
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			impulse, or every desire, they
become very dangerous as adults,
		
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			right. And this is, again, the
world that we live in, you have a
		
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			lot of, unfortunately, people who
did not have parenting, they did
		
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			not have to be they did not have a
parent or anyone really present,
		
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			to be able to teach them how to
practice restraint. How Not To Say
		
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			whatever's on your mind, you know,
there's a lot of this,
		
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			you know, these notions in our
society to just speak freely, say
		
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			whatever you want, do whatever you
want, give it to every desire
		
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			every whim. And this is now
normal. That's the normal message
		
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			if you if you practice abstinence,
for example. I mean, I work with
		
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			youth all the time. And I hear
this all the time. If you're
		
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			abstinent from certain behaviors
in this society, you're considered
		
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			the strange one, right? You're
considered, you know, weird. Yeah,
		
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			proved prudish, or they're square,
right. There's something wrong
		
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			with you. And that's why peer
pressure is real, right? It's a
		
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			very real thing. That's why a lot
of teens are afraid to disclose,
		
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			and specifically teens have with a
faith background. There is immense
		
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			pressure not to talk about their
faith openly, because the backlash
		
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			will be so severe, you know,
you'll be ostracized you've been
		
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			made to feel like there's
something wrong with you. So this
		
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			is because the predominant culture
believes that you should just give
		
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			in to whatever you want to do all
the time. Whereas our faith is all
		
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			about teaching restraint. I mean,
somehow, so much of what we do, is
		
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			to inculcate restraint. And so
it's a very important
		
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			quality to have. So I'm glad that
he
		
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			goes on to say we're almost done
with this. He says on page eight
		
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			if you're if you're reading along
		
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			this matter relates to the fact
that the heart is a spiritual
		
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			Oregon. The unseen aspect of the
heart contains a bad seed that has
		
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			the potential of becoming like a
cancer that can metatag
		
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			metastasize and overtake the
heart. The bacterium responsible
		
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			for tuberculosis, for example,
lives latent in the lungs of
		
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			millions of people. When its
carriers age or succumb to another
		
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			disease that weakens their immune
system, tuberculosis may start to
		
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			emerge. This analogy illustrates
that there is a dormant element in
		
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			the human heart that, if nurtured
and allowed to grow, can damage
		
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			the soul and eventually destroyed
the promise of a lion instead of
		
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			stated in the son of Adams sins, a
black spot appears in the heart,
		
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			and if the person repents, it is
erased, but if he does not, it
		
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			continues to grow until the whole
heart becomes pitch black.
		
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			Incidentally, this notion of
associating the color of black
		
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			with sin is not racist in its
origins. This attribution has been
		
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			long used even among black
Africans who are
		
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			refer to a person who is wretched
as black hearted. The Quran says
		
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			about successful people on the day
of judgment that their faces
		
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			become white. In chapter three
verse 106. This does not mean
		
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			white as a hue of skin. Rather it
refers to light and brightness,
		
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			which are spiritual descriptions
not associated with actual color.
		
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			A black person can have spiritual
light in his face and a white
		
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			person can have darkness and vice
versa depending on one spiritual
		
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			and moral condition. The
Abominable Zadie considers
		
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			ailments of the heart to be part
of the Adamic potential, he
		
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			believes one is obliged to know
this about human nature, in order
		
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			to be protected. Other scholars
simply consider these ailments to
		
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			be predominant in men. That is,
most people have these qualities
		
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			but not necessarily everybody. It
is interesting that a Mahmoud says
		
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			it is impossible to rid oneself of
these diseases completely. This
		
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			implies that purification is a
lifelong process, not something
		
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			that is applied once and then
forgotten. purity of heart never
		
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			survives a passive relationship,
one must always guard his or her
		
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			heart, there is a well known
Hadith which states that every
		
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			child is born in the state of
fitrah. Many Muslims translate
		
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			this into English as every child
is born a Muslim. However, the
		
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			Hadith says fitrah, which means
that people are born inclined to
		
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			faith with an intuitive awareness
of divine purpose, and a nature
		
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			built to receive the prophetic
message. What remains then is to
		
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			nurture one's findra and cultivate
this inclination to faith and
		
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			purity of heart. So
		
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			that is the section on
Introduction to purification that
		
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			we just finished out. Are there
any questions? Yes.
		
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			Online my line of thinking,
		
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			and this book is also relating to
the heart and the heart.
		
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			So do you have any idea? How would
you like to share a few words
		
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			about why blood is stressing on
heart and size?
		
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			That's a very good question as I
go ahead. And so just for those
		
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			who are watching, the sister was
asking about how, in the monarch
		
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			context, we're often, you know,
focusing a lot on the mind and
		
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			thinking and the intellect as a
mental process. But then, in our
		
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			tradition, we always focus on the
spiritual heart, right? So how is
		
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			there a connection? So if you look
at the beginning of the book, I
		
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			don't remember the exact page. But
in the translators, introduction,
		
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			there's a whole discussion on
this, it's really fascinating,
		
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			where Showhomes actually talks
about the connection, that there
		
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			are, in fact, neurons right in the
heart, right, so that there is a
		
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			communication between the mind and
the heart, right. And so it kind
		
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			of he's bringing in all of these
more modern ideas together to show
		
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			the relevancy that, in fact, the
heart and the mind are
		
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			communicating and there is a deep
connection there. So I would
		
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			definitely say read that. Yeah, of
course. Yeah, you read it, he
		
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			does, obviously, much better job
explaining it. But I can read one
		
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			section here. He says here, the
dominant theory states that the
		
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			central nervous system is what
controls the entire human being
		
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			with the brain as its center. We
also know that the nervous system
		
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			does not initiate the beat of the
heart, but but that it is actually
		
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			self initiated, or as we would
say, initiated by God. We also
		
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			know that the heart should all of
its connections to the brain be
		
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			severed as they are during during
heart transplant continues to
		
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			beat. And then he has much more
commentary on the fact that we do
		
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			you have Oh, only recently have we
discovered that there are over
		
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			40,000 neurons in the heart.
		
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			So it's a very lengthy, much more
lengthier discussion, but I would
		
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			say read that and it'll it's very
insightful. Subhanallah Yeah, but
		
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			an excellent question just like
you're located
		
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			Subhan Allah, but I've always
thought about that too. Like
		
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			because we hear so much about you
know, the heart and so how's that
		
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			so I found that really
enlightening mashallah Yes?
		
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			been honest with yourself and
having a shame for
		
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			admitting, to be honest, openly
admitting to Allah
		
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			and not
		
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			within their Catholic tradition,
there's like confessions, right?
		
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			We will have confessions, we don't
confess things to a person to any
		
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			kind of like cleansing things. But
		
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			like, where is the importance or
place for having a teacher who can
		
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			show ourselves because we might be
looking at ourselves and ourselves
		
00:10:27 --> 00:10:31
			in the mirror, but sometimes a
teacher, or even just a sister, or
		
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			someone else can say, like,
		
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			actually,
		
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			you got this smile?
		
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			But maybe not on our own.
		
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			Excellent question. Mashallah. So,
I, again, these are all questions
		
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			I've even had in the past as well.
So how about but you know, this
		
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			idea that, yes, we, in our
tradition, we don't have, there
		
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			isn't an emphasis on trying to
seek out
		
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			you know, another human being to
confess our sins to but there is
		
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			absolutely a value in having a
guide or a teacher because like
		
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			you said, we can be blind to our
own faults to our own blemishes.
		
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			Right. And so that's why in our,
you know, traditional Islam, there
		
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			was always a focus on having a
guide, a spiritual guide, a
		
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			spiritual master, someone that you
can turn to for that type of
		
00:11:26 --> 00:11:31
			artwork to help you to do that
hard work. And if you look at, you
		
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			know, so the hangman's rope, who,
who talks about, you know, the, in
		
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			his in foundations of the
spiritual path, and if you look
		
00:11:40 --> 00:11:43
			at, you know, the agenda to change
our condition, or shelves, any
		
00:11:43 --> 00:11:47
			man's aid also are talking about
how to transform oneself there,
		
00:11:47 --> 00:11:51
			there is always the emphasis that
if you can find a spiritual master
		
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			look for one, yes, but if you
can't, then what do you do? Right?
		
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			What do you do then? And so people
have to really, if they're able to
		
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			seek out a teacher to have that
relationship with that would be
		
00:12:02 --> 00:12:07
			ideal. Because yes, someone who's
already on the path who's been
		
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			down this road before can
certainly help facilitate, you
		
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			know it for, for you, but also to
be able to, you know, see certain
		
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			things that you don't see, like
the Hadith, you know, moment to
		
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			moment, right? The believer is a
mirror for the believer, so to
		
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			have, someone who's got the
knowledge and has the ability to
		
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			see in you certain qualities, or
just to help you along is really
		
00:12:31 --> 00:12:35
			important. But it's not always
easy to find that person. Right.
		
00:12:35 --> 00:12:38
			And I think that's the challenge
that a lot of people have today,
		
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			because we don't have as much tea,
as many scholars or teachers as
		
00:12:42 --> 00:12:46
			accessible. As previous people,
you know, were just a few
		
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			centuries ago, you could find
massages, and, and teachers and
		
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			guides everywhere, but nowadays
are very hard to come by. So then
		
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			the question has been posed, well,
what do you do so our scholars say
		
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			that the, in the absence of a
spiritual guide to do that for
		
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			you,
		
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			the silhouette would be a
spiritual guide, like the that to
		
00:13:07 --> 00:13:11
			have the practice of doing at
least some say 300 to 500
		
00:13:11 --> 00:13:18
			silhouette every day would be, as
I guess, you know, would would be
		
00:13:18 --> 00:13:23
			in placement of a scholar for you
in that it will start to you will
		
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			start to cleanse with it, right,
as opposed to having someone
		
00:13:28 --> 00:13:32
			necessarily point things out to
you, the purification process will
		
00:13:32 --> 00:13:36
			happen by way of the silhouette.
So that's kind of, you know, the I
		
00:13:36 --> 00:13:39
			think for, for most people today
who don't have access, that would
		
00:13:39 --> 00:13:43
			be the recommendation is that you
just start getting in the habit of
		
00:13:43 --> 00:13:48
			doing that Salawat, that cleansing
process of, you know, seeking
		
00:13:48 --> 00:13:54
			Allah subhanaw taala through that
exercise, and then the effect of
		
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			that would be you're polishing
that, that heart, you're polishing
		
00:13:57 --> 00:14:00
			it from the disease, and inshallah
you'll come out, purified. But if
		
00:14:00 --> 00:14:05
			you can, of course, it would be
best to seek someone who's on the
		
00:14:05 --> 00:14:11
			path and ask, you know, they would
help you along, or in even group
		
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			settings like this. I mean, I
think it's, like I said, why I've
		
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			always felt that this was so
important, because one on one, it
		
00:14:18 --> 00:14:22
			might be difficult, but when you
come in spaces, right, where we
		
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			all have a common goal, and we're
all like helping and I mean, I've
		
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			been in so many of these other
places where you can see and
		
00:14:30 --> 00:14:34
			people will come to me afterwards
and it's like, there's, you know,
		
00:14:34 --> 00:14:37
			these light bulb moments that
happen, right, these moments of
		
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			like real realization, these
openings is what we would call,
		
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			you know, for data like there's
spiritual openings that happen
		
00:14:46 --> 00:14:50
			even in larger gatherings because
when you read something, someone
		
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			says something, someone share
something and then Subhanallah you
		
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			know, you feel this transfer this
inner transformation happening. So
		
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			there are different ways
		
00:15:00 --> 00:15:03
			To get there, I guess, but ideally
yes and other person would be,
		
00:15:04 --> 00:15:07
			would be ideal. I remember in the
very beginning of our
		
00:15:08 --> 00:15:13
			studies 20 something years ago,
some of the sisters and I, we, we
		
00:15:13 --> 00:15:17
			were doing this work together. I
mean, I'm really aging myself, but
		
00:15:17 --> 00:15:21
			it was a long time ago. And over
20 years ago, right, and we
		
00:15:21 --> 00:15:25
			decided, I remember a group of us
that we were going to come
		
00:15:25 --> 00:15:28
			together just for the sole purpose
of telling each other what we
		
00:15:28 --> 00:15:33
			thought our diseases were. And I
was like, man, we were really bold
		
00:15:33 --> 00:15:36
			for for opening up that
conversation with each other. I
		
00:15:36 --> 00:15:40
			mean, it definitely bonded us
because it's not easy to hear.
		
00:15:40 --> 00:15:43
			Right? So what do you think my
diseases are we that was the
		
00:15:43 --> 00:15:46
			prompt. So what do you think my
problem? So what do you think my
		
00:15:46 --> 00:15:49
			diseases of the heart are? And
then you have someone else like
		
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			plan? Oh, you know, that's not
gonna go.
		
00:15:53 --> 00:15:58
			The nurses really, it hurts, it
hurts to hear that, right. But it
		
00:15:58 --> 00:16:01
			was, like, insightful. I remember
a very good friend of mine, she
		
00:16:01 --> 00:16:04
			told me something that to this
day, I will not forget it, she
		
00:16:04 --> 00:16:08
			said, your problem is, is you
think you can control things.
		
00:16:09 --> 00:16:12
			And it was insightful, because,
you know, I never thought of
		
00:16:12 --> 00:16:15
			myself as a controlling person.
But I think what she was trying to
		
00:16:15 --> 00:16:17
			help me see is that you need to
let go.
		
00:16:19 --> 00:16:23
			You know, don't think that you can
control outcomes. Because like,
		
00:16:23 --> 00:16:26
			when you're if you have like a
fixer mindset, you know, like, I'm
		
00:16:26 --> 00:16:30
			a fixer mindset. So I'm thinking
always, like, Oh, if you do this,
		
00:16:30 --> 00:16:33
			this should happen, right? So you
kind of get in this very logical,
		
00:16:34 --> 00:16:37
			you know, mindset where you think
you have the answers to things.
		
00:16:37 --> 00:16:40
			But she pointed that out to me,
and it was very done very
		
00:16:40 --> 00:16:44
			delicately, but it was, it was
always something that I reflected
		
00:16:44 --> 00:16:48
			on, like, that's, I didn't think
that about myself, I didn't know
		
00:16:48 --> 00:16:51
			that. But she was watching and
witnessed, you know, kind of
		
00:16:52 --> 00:16:56
			picking up on certain things and
benefited me because I realized,
		
00:16:56 --> 00:17:01
			she's right, i No matter what you
do, you cannot control outcomes.
		
00:17:01 --> 00:17:05
			You know, we could all conspire
together and have the best plan.
		
00:17:05 --> 00:17:07
			But if I was probably doesn't want
it, there's no way it's gonna
		
00:17:07 --> 00:17:11
			happen, you know. And that's, I
think, a really good spiritual
		
00:17:11 --> 00:17:14
			lesson to learn. So that's the
benefit of having good company,
		
00:17:15 --> 00:17:19
			and good teachers, if you can have
them is that they will.
		
00:17:20 --> 00:17:24
			Because there's direct Naseeha.
You know, there's direct, like
		
00:17:24 --> 00:17:28
			what at what we did, but there's
also indirect, you know, knowledge
		
00:17:29 --> 00:17:31
			of being transmitted indirect, no,
see how being transmitted,
		
00:17:33 --> 00:17:37
			you know, that, that you'll pick
up on just really subtle things,
		
00:17:37 --> 00:17:40
			because people have added most of
me more. So I've been very blessed
		
00:17:40 --> 00:17:45
			to be with really amazing sisters,
and also some of our male teachers
		
00:17:45 --> 00:17:48
			and brothers. And I've always
found one of the consistent things
		
00:17:48 --> 00:17:53
			is the best teachers that I found
don't come right out and directly
		
00:17:53 --> 00:17:58
			correct you. They won't like, make
you feel the embarrassment of what
		
00:17:58 --> 00:18:05
			you're doing. Right. But they will
indirectly, very, like nudge you
		
00:18:05 --> 00:18:09
			in the right direction, in a very
gentle way. And then later, you'll
		
00:18:09 --> 00:18:10
			be like, Oh, I know what they were
doing.
		
00:18:11 --> 00:18:13
			I see what they like to do, you
know, yes.
		
00:18:19 --> 00:18:23
			No, disease, and you're working on
it, but you can't get it. Like
		
00:18:23 --> 00:18:27
			when I think of example, getting
back my children, I told myself, I
		
00:18:27 --> 00:18:33
			am not going to yell today. I'm
not gonna say that word. I'm not
		
00:18:33 --> 00:18:35
			going to emotionally abused.
		
00:18:36 --> 00:18:37
			There we go.
		
00:18:40 --> 00:18:44
			That's a very good question. And I
think all mothers, we can relate
		
00:18:44 --> 00:18:48
			to that we all have had those
conversations within ourselves. I
		
00:18:48 --> 00:18:49
			think, you know,
		
00:18:51 --> 00:18:55
			in my experience, I found that
when we focus on the behavior that
		
00:18:55 --> 00:18:58
			we want to have, right, which is
like to be really to not do
		
00:18:58 --> 00:19:03
			certain things, we might be
overlooking the source of why we
		
00:19:03 --> 00:19:08
			do it in the first place. And to
me, that's more of the focus,
		
00:19:08 --> 00:19:12
			right? Why do you have a meltdown
in the first place? Why do you
		
00:19:12 --> 00:19:15
			lose your cool in the first place?
Because if you can get to the root
		
00:19:15 --> 00:19:20
			issue, right, and source that, and
then resolve that I feel like then
		
00:19:20 --> 00:19:22
			you don't have to worry about the,
the rest will kind of follow
		
00:19:22 --> 00:19:27
			through. But what we tend to do is
just because we feel so guilty,
		
00:19:27 --> 00:19:30
			it's a very guilt driven impulse,
right, be like, I'm never gonna
		
00:19:30 --> 00:19:35
			yell at my children, because we
feel bad. But if you, for example,
		
00:19:35 --> 00:19:38
			and I've mentioned this before,
but I think it's worth mentioning.
		
00:19:39 --> 00:19:44
			Like, I because I had to do this
for myself. I like I when I my
		
00:19:44 --> 00:19:47
			kids were small. I was like, I
told my husband I'm like, there
		
00:19:47 --> 00:19:52
			are times where I feel like I'm
losing control of myself. And I
		
00:19:52 --> 00:19:55
			don't like that feeling because
I've tried to be very controlled
		
00:19:55 --> 00:19:59
			like with my emotions, with my
words. I try to be controlled. So
		
00:19:59 --> 00:19:59
			I said when I
		
00:20:00 --> 00:20:04
			Feel that wave of like, you know,
frustration building up, it's like
		
00:20:04 --> 00:20:12
			welling up within me. You know, I
need you to support me and know,
		
00:20:12 --> 00:20:17
			right? To how to support me. So
for example, and I'm totally
		
00:20:17 --> 00:20:22
			putting it all out there now. But
like, in my family, my husband has
		
00:20:22 --> 00:20:27
			always done the nighttime routine
for my kids, right? Ever since
		
00:20:27 --> 00:20:30
			they were young. He just that was
his thing he wants to do there was
		
00:20:30 --> 00:20:32
			put them to bed. I'm like, that's
fine. Good. I've been with them
		
00:20:32 --> 00:20:37
			all day, please, take them. But
there was a point where he kind of
		
00:20:38 --> 00:20:41
			got a little loosey goosey. You
know what I mean? Or like, it was
		
00:20:41 --> 00:20:46
			way past their bedtime. We late
and then you know how it goes, Man
		
00:20:46 --> 00:20:49
			have two boys. It's not a very
busy like loud household, but
		
00:20:49 --> 00:20:55
			they're still rambunctious at
times. So around 10 or 930, or
		
00:20:55 --> 00:20:58
			it's my time because I always tell
him nights are mine, I need my
		
00:20:58 --> 00:21:01
			quiet time, I need peace, I need
to have certain things I want to
		
00:21:01 --> 00:21:04
			get done. I don't want to hear
noise. I don't want to hear
		
00:21:04 --> 00:21:07
			running around. I don't want to
hear fighting in the bathroom. I
		
00:21:07 --> 00:21:11
			don't hear none of it. You know?
So I told him I said, if I find
		
00:21:11 --> 00:21:14
			that my nights are being
encroached on or like, you know,
		
00:21:14 --> 00:21:17
			you're taking my time, I'm gonna
start and I feel. And so I said,
		
00:21:17 --> 00:21:22
			if you hear me one time, say,
because I'll call his name either.
		
00:21:22 --> 00:21:25
			Like, why are the boys still
awake? Or why are they still up,
		
00:21:25 --> 00:21:29
			like, that's your cue to know what
to do, then please take care of
		
00:21:29 --> 00:21:31
			it, like nip it in the boat.
Because next time, it's not going
		
00:21:31 --> 00:21:35
			to be pretty, you know. So I had
to kind of give him all these
		
00:21:35 --> 00:21:41
			guides to pay attention to my
cues, you know, and once like,
		
00:21:41 --> 00:21:44
			even with my boys, when I started
letting them know, pay attention
		
00:21:44 --> 00:21:47
			to my tone, pay attention to how
I'm speaking, because I don't
		
00:21:47 --> 00:21:52
			yell, I really try not to yell in
my house. But I have, we all you
		
00:21:52 --> 00:21:56
			know, I think lose it. And I hate
when I because then I get
		
00:21:56 --> 00:21:59
			frustrated. I say I don't. It's
like a rule I have for myself that
		
00:21:59 --> 00:22:03
			I broke. But I didn't break it
because I wanted to. I broke it
		
00:22:03 --> 00:22:08
			because no one's listening to me.
So once I kind of communicated my
		
00:22:08 --> 00:22:14
			needs, and I feel like I really
sourced the issue, which is, you
		
00:22:14 --> 00:22:17
			know, the Knights need to be
controlled better, and I need to
		
00:22:17 --> 00:22:21
			have more rights, like more, you
know, things just handled better.
		
00:22:21 --> 00:22:26
			I feel like it got better, right
from that point forward. But if
		
00:22:26 --> 00:22:30
			you don't speak up to the source,
I feel like then you're just gonna
		
00:22:30 --> 00:22:34
			keep, you know, each time it's
gonna, you're gonna keep losing
		
00:22:34 --> 00:22:37
			it. And then you you're the one
that sits with that guilt, and you
		
00:22:37 --> 00:22:41
			keep beating yourself up, and it's
just as vicious cycle. So maybe,
		
00:22:42 --> 00:22:46
			for all of us if this applies, to
try to figure out what is your
		
00:22:46 --> 00:22:51
			trigger? Is it the noise level
that bothers you? Are they
		
00:22:51 --> 00:22:57
			disobeying a direct request? Okay,
and then that's the next question.
		
00:22:57 --> 00:23:01
			Why? You know, because I feel
like, if you can get to why are
		
00:23:01 --> 00:23:05
			they disobeying even that, like,
what is it? What agreement can we
		
00:23:05 --> 00:23:09
			come up with? And even for my
kids, for those who are parents, I
		
00:23:09 --> 00:23:11
			think it's really important to
teach your kids the art of
		
00:23:11 --> 00:23:16
			negotiation. Like I went with, I
taught my kids, I said, we need
		
00:23:16 --> 00:23:19
			to, you need to learn to
negotiate, which means if I have a
		
00:23:19 --> 00:23:22
			request, and you have a problem
with that request, and you have to
		
00:23:22 --> 00:23:27
			convince me, you know, but I want
this to be a mutually beneficial
		
00:23:27 --> 00:23:29
			exchange, not just like,
		
00:23:31 --> 00:23:34
			giving a command. And that's it,
because I feel like kids will
		
00:23:34 --> 00:23:39
			respect your wishes much more, if
you empower them to negotiate
		
00:23:39 --> 00:23:44
			terms. Right? And if you can do
that, and teach them to do that, I
		
00:23:44 --> 00:23:47
			feel like you won't have the
struggle of why aren't you
		
00:23:47 --> 00:23:50
			listening to me as much? I don't
know. That's just my philosophy.
		
00:23:50 --> 00:23:55
			But I hope that answers or helps.
Yeah, it's difficult, but don't
		
00:23:55 --> 00:23:59
			beat yourself up. And also pay
attention to your cycle. Because
		
00:23:59 --> 00:24:02
			we're, it's real, our cycles
absolutely impact us. I feel like
		
00:24:02 --> 00:24:06
			we have to do a much better job as
women, to advocate for ourselves.
		
00:24:06 --> 00:24:10
			If that's if your hormones are,
are part of it. Like if you know
		
00:24:10 --> 00:24:14
			yourself that you get much more
irritable and agitated around that
		
00:24:14 --> 00:24:19
			time, advocate for yourself, like
my kids know, I've run a household
		
00:24:19 --> 00:24:22
			of boys so they know it is my time
or it's about to be more diverse
		
00:24:22 --> 00:24:26
			that way. You know, I'll give them
mornings. And I think they
		
00:24:26 --> 00:24:29
			appreciate it because they know
Yeah, yes.
		
00:24:33 --> 00:24:34
			To out of the conversation.
		
00:24:36 --> 00:24:37
			I was
		
00:24:38 --> 00:24:41
			back when she was speaking
earlier.
		
00:24:42 --> 00:24:45
			But it's also worked through your
heart. That's how I
		
00:24:47 --> 00:24:48
			was trying to like
		
00:24:49 --> 00:24:52
			taking the surf as well saying,
Oh, it's always his fault
		
00:24:58 --> 00:24:59
			and I love to chill out
		
00:25:00 --> 00:25:04
			Okay, no, I'm allowing myself to
feel upset.
		
00:25:05 --> 00:25:08
			He's like learning it. He's
looking up to me.
		
00:25:09 --> 00:25:10
			So my actions.
		
00:25:12 --> 00:25:18
			So trying to, like Sydney
forgiveness in front of him, like
		
00:25:18 --> 00:25:20
			I did something wrong. And I
wanted
		
00:25:25 --> 00:25:28
			to, like, reflect on myself, and
how,
		
00:25:30 --> 00:25:33
			like, not only what he's your
children, but what I'm doing to
		
00:25:33 --> 00:25:35
			allow myself to get to that point.
		
00:25:36 --> 00:25:39
			That's an excellent point. I do
think it's really important to
		
00:25:39 --> 00:25:42
			mention, like, the different
stages because your son is how old
		
00:25:42 --> 00:25:43
			though?
		
00:25:44 --> 00:25:47
			Yeah, see. So when they're
younger, it's like a different
		
00:25:47 --> 00:25:50
			type of right mom guilt that we
have. And then when they get into
		
00:25:50 --> 00:25:54
			the teen ages, it's like, it
evolves into something very
		
00:25:54 --> 00:25:56
			different. But it's a really great
perspective. Because I think for
		
00:25:56 --> 00:26:01
			parents of younger kids that
ability to be self accountable to
		
00:26:01 --> 00:26:05
			realize like, I'm the adult,
right, they're younger, I need to
		
00:26:05 --> 00:26:08
			model good behavior is really
good, like you said, for the
		
00:26:08 --> 00:26:13
			purification process. And then as
they grow older, it is, I think,
		
00:26:14 --> 00:26:15
			kind of doing that.
		
00:26:17 --> 00:26:21
			Just sourcing how we can
communicate better, right? Because
		
00:26:21 --> 00:26:25
			I feel like, you know that you're
now dealing with many adults, they
		
00:26:25 --> 00:26:29
			learn to talk back more. And you
don't see, yeah, it's just a
		
00:26:29 --> 00:26:34
			different set of variables. But I
think, but in both cases, I always
		
00:26:34 --> 00:26:37
			try to tell them, be gentle with
yourself, because I don't think
		
00:26:37 --> 00:26:40
			unless you know, a woman really
has some anger management issues
		
00:26:40 --> 00:26:45
			or real problems, I think most
moms, we really try our best to
		
00:26:45 --> 00:26:50
			give love and to be the best
versions of ourselves, but we lose
		
00:26:50 --> 00:26:53
			it. Because something else is
being supported or when we don't,
		
00:26:53 --> 00:26:58
			we don't feel supported. And in
some other part, maybe trying to
		
00:26:58 --> 00:26:59
			figure that out.
		
00:27:07 --> 00:27:08
			Me for it was
		
00:27:10 --> 00:27:12
			like a lifelong journey.
		
00:27:13 --> 00:27:20
			And when I interact with my
parents, and also trying to serve
		
00:27:20 --> 00:27:22
			on our job and my own
shortcomings, which you know, I'm
		
00:27:22 --> 00:27:25
			still working on too. But I think
involving family is really
		
00:27:25 --> 00:27:28
			important, really wish everybody
		
00:27:31 --> 00:27:34
			the children and the parents and
the grandparents and everyone who
		
00:27:34 --> 00:27:37
			was in the house kind of like
going on this journey. This is
		
00:27:37 --> 00:27:40
			kind of a presentation on the
hardest, these are the
		
00:27:43 --> 00:27:45
			you know, the next few months are
going to have conversations about
		
00:27:45 --> 00:27:50
			this. And it's very helpful
because what I do lose my temper,
		
00:27:50 --> 00:27:53
			and I can have that conversation
later.
		
00:27:54 --> 00:27:59
			Like, hey, I lost my temper, I
apologize, I should have done a, b
		
00:27:59 --> 00:28:04
			and c. And, you know, whatever,
you can have an open ended
		
00:28:04 --> 00:28:04
			conversation.
		
00:28:07 --> 00:28:08
			Because I was a teenager.
		
00:28:10 --> 00:28:15
			Like if I have that opportunity.
If I saw my parents come to you
		
00:28:15 --> 00:28:19
			and hey, I'm sorry, I lost my
temper, or hey, I'm so sorry.
		
00:28:29 --> 00:28:30
			So that's how you handle
		
00:28:32 --> 00:28:33
			hopefully?
		
00:28:37 --> 00:28:40
			No, it's very helpful. And it's
excellent, excellent advice, I
		
00:28:40 --> 00:28:44
			think, really, really relevant to
bring your family members into
		
00:28:44 --> 00:28:48
			whatever you're working on.
Because language is effective,
		
00:28:48 --> 00:28:50
			right? So if you haven't shared
language around these topics,
		
00:28:51 --> 00:28:55
			which is what you're speaking
about, and also even temperaments,
		
00:28:55 --> 00:28:58
			like, understanding your
temperament and understanding your
		
00:28:58 --> 00:29:01
			children's temperaments is really
helpful, because what it does is
		
00:29:01 --> 00:29:07
			it validates, right, everybody,
like, we're all on an equal
		
00:29:07 --> 00:29:10
			playing field, right. And that's
why I love this topic for children
		
00:29:10 --> 00:29:14
			too, because it humanizes them and
humanizes us and like you said, as
		
00:29:14 --> 00:29:17
			an adult, I can tell them yeah,
I've gotten this disease and mom
		
00:29:17 --> 00:29:19
			is working on this, and I need
your laws, and I need your
		
00:29:19 --> 00:29:23
			support. And please make it easy
for me. And we can kind of all do
		
00:29:23 --> 00:29:27
			it like you said together. And so
it's very excellent. And so you
		
00:29:27 --> 00:29:30
			had a good reminder for all of us
that whenever when when we're
		
00:29:30 --> 00:29:33
			dealing with our family, whether
it's spouses, parents, children,
		
00:29:34 --> 00:29:38
			to not individualize some of these
things, like there's certain
		
00:29:38 --> 00:29:42
			things like prayer, da but I think
when it has to do with real
		
00:29:43 --> 00:29:46
			you know, like a process like
this, where you're trying to
		
00:29:46 --> 00:29:49
			become a better version of
yourself and really trying to, you
		
00:29:49 --> 00:29:53
			know, embrace a new like all these
virtues and character qualities
		
00:29:53 --> 00:29:58
			that you want. You should want to
be including your family in that
		
00:29:58 --> 00:29:59
			process. So
		
00:30:00 --> 00:30:01
			is a very, very good reminder just
like
		
00:30:02 --> 00:30:04
			Thank you. That's
		
00:30:06 --> 00:30:08
			well, yeah, I'm sorry as a yes.
		
00:30:30 --> 00:30:34
			Yeah, in a marital context,
because in a or with it because in
		
00:30:34 --> 00:30:38
			a marital context I've found, I
really think we have to, I mean, I
		
00:30:38 --> 00:30:42
			know the language now is so
bizarre around gender and the
		
00:30:42 --> 00:30:45
			differences between men and women,
and I don't, I'm not going to go
		
00:30:45 --> 00:30:48
			there. But I feel like, we've got
to come back to reality and
		
00:30:48 --> 00:30:51
			realize that there are differences
between the way men and women
		
00:30:51 --> 00:30:57
			process information. And a lot of
times men, they don't retain some
		
00:30:57 --> 00:31:02
			of these cues and guides that we
give them because they're visual
		
00:31:02 --> 00:31:05
			learners, oftentimes. And also, we
have like, these emotional
		
00:31:05 --> 00:31:08
			attachments we make to some of
these conversations. So we're very
		
00:31:08 --> 00:31:12
			emotionally involved. Whereas with
men, it's information. Right? So
		
00:31:12 --> 00:31:17
			it's like, if you're trying to
give information, you know, or
		
00:31:17 --> 00:31:22
			like, relay something to a spouse,
then kind of understand it from
		
00:31:22 --> 00:31:27
			his lens, which is, this is
information and how do you best
		
00:31:27 --> 00:31:30
			retain information, especially if
he's juggling a full time job,
		
00:31:30 --> 00:31:34
			he's got all these other things
going on, sometimes visually. So
		
00:31:34 --> 00:31:37
			like, a calendar would maybe it
would be helpful, right? Which is
		
00:31:37 --> 00:31:40
			like, These are the days where I
need this time off, or please, or
		
00:31:40 --> 00:31:44
			my, you know, my cycle is coming
on this, I'm just letting you know
		
00:31:44 --> 00:31:47
			ahead of time, because that is
information, right. But it's just
		
00:31:47 --> 00:31:51
			thinking, like, oh, I told you,
you should know. And then be in
		
00:31:51 --> 00:31:55
			tune with me and be sensitive to
me next month, and the month after
		
00:31:55 --> 00:31:59
			and the month after, not at your
sudden format have to fail, trust
		
00:31:59 --> 00:32:03
			me of that it doesn't work. But
when you give them a hit, like
		
00:32:03 --> 00:32:06
			ahead of time, or like, like I
said, even there's apps now where
		
00:32:06 --> 00:32:10
			you can share like, okay, just let
you know, this is the next week,
		
00:32:10 --> 00:32:10
			you know,
		
00:32:12 --> 00:32:15
			be forewarned, and you know, the
drill. And then you can even make
		
00:32:15 --> 00:32:19
			a wish list of things that you
request, and just send it like a
		
00:32:19 --> 00:32:22
			text message. You know, here's my
wish list for this month, you
		
00:32:22 --> 00:32:26
			know, then that way it's
information and they can process
		
00:32:26 --> 00:32:29
			information much better than the
song and dance that I think a lot
		
00:32:29 --> 00:32:32
			of women do, which is like how
could you forget? And then we get
		
00:32:32 --> 00:32:35
			all like emotional and then
they're like, What what happened
		
00:32:35 --> 00:32:38
			You were fine yesterday and now
you know, you're not talking to
		
00:32:38 --> 00:32:42
			me, I'm out in the cold. So
because we, we put too much
		
00:32:42 --> 00:32:47
			expectation on them to be in tune
with us the way like a girlfriend
		
00:32:47 --> 00:32:50
			would write like your friend or
your sister. Because we're so
		
00:32:50 --> 00:32:54
			emotionally connected. We may
empathize and because we have the
		
00:32:54 --> 00:33:00
			same context, we can feel right.
But men have a very different
		
00:33:01 --> 00:33:03
			process. So I think just
understanding those differences
		
00:33:03 --> 00:33:04
			will help.
		
00:33:06 --> 00:33:11
			But excellent questions and
comments you guys Machala, someone
		
00:33:16 --> 00:33:17
			confidence because
		
00:33:21 --> 00:33:23
			according to my husband's like
you're just
		
00:33:28 --> 00:33:29
			given to you
		
00:33:33 --> 00:33:34
			mashallah,
		
00:33:35 --> 00:33:39
			that's a very good question. So
some, I think women in general,
		
00:33:39 --> 00:33:43
			we're conditioned to deflect
compliments and praise. Because
		
00:33:43 --> 00:33:46
			many of our cultures and even
families may have taught us that
		
00:33:46 --> 00:33:51
			you're being arrogant, you're
being conceited. If you take a
		
00:33:51 --> 00:33:55
			compliment, if you you know, take
ownership of something like who do
		
00:33:55 --> 00:33:59
			you think you are? And so we don't
want that negative association. So
		
00:33:59 --> 00:34:03
			we just kind of, but there is a
healthy balance and the best way
		
00:34:03 --> 00:34:08
			is to recognize that when someone
is giving you a compliment, too,
		
00:34:08 --> 00:34:14
			don't deflect it entirely. But
redirect it right to Allah subhana
		
00:34:14 --> 00:34:18
			wa, because whatever good you have
is from Allah. We weren't born
		
00:34:18 --> 00:34:22
			with anything like virtue of our
own. Right it's all from a lesser
		
00:34:22 --> 00:34:27
			of a coworker recognizes some work
of yours respect, thank you very
		
00:34:27 --> 00:34:31
			much, but in your heart of hearts
that have been in our sugar Lila,
		
00:34:31 --> 00:34:34
			don't let it seep into the heart
where now you think like oh, I'm
		
00:34:34 --> 00:34:37
			so amazing because my coworkers
you know, gave me some
		
00:34:37 --> 00:34:41
			recognition. But in your heart of
hearts recognize that it's all by
		
00:34:41 --> 00:34:44
			Allah subhanaw taala that you have
to fearfully you have success that
		
00:34:44 --> 00:34:47
			you have the family, the
upbringing, the opportunity, the
		
00:34:47 --> 00:34:51
			means to be able to do whatever
you've done, the skill set the
		
00:34:51 --> 00:34:56
			faculties it's all from Allah, and
to be able to just redirect that
		
00:34:56 --> 00:34:59
			praise to Him is healthy way
		
00:35:00 --> 00:35:04
			At still accepted so that you
don't belittle yourself, right?
		
00:35:05 --> 00:35:08
			You never want to belittle
yourself and also in a
		
00:35:08 --> 00:35:13
			professional context to that might
harm your career, right? And a lot
		
00:35:13 --> 00:35:15
			of I mean, there's entire books
written especially on women and
		
00:35:15 --> 00:35:20
			how they don't advance because of
this tendency. So it does in many
		
00:35:20 --> 00:35:25
			ways harmless, but if we can learn
to accept it in the moment,
		
00:35:25 --> 00:35:28
			without making this big
production, like, Oh, thank you so
		
00:35:28 --> 00:35:30
			much. I'm so wonderful, but just
like thank you graciously
		
00:35:30 --> 00:35:34
			accepted, but then in your heart
of hearts, I have to deny Alma,
		
00:35:34 --> 00:35:38
			thank you so much sugar. And
that's that's a good way to stay
		
00:35:38 --> 00:35:38
			balanced.
		
00:35:41 --> 00:35:44
			Okay, hamdulillah Thank you. Does
that go okay. So we are going to
		
00:35:44 --> 00:35:48
			stop for a moment of prayer and
then we'll be back here for the
		
00:35:48 --> 00:35:49
			shadows.
		
00:35:51 --> 00:35:53
			All right. Bismillah R Rahman
Rahim Al hamdu lillah wa Salatu
		
00:35:53 --> 00:35:56
			was Salam ala should have an MBA
when we're sitting. Say that our
		
00:35:56 --> 00:35:58
			Mowlana What have you been a
Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa
		
00:35:58 --> 00:36:02
			sallam while he was certainly a
son of this demon Kathira salam Wa
		
00:36:02 --> 00:36:06
			alaykum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh
welcome everyone and Hamdulillah
		
00:36:07 --> 00:36:12
			we are so honored and excited
tonight to be able to host yet
		
00:36:12 --> 00:36:16
			another shahada here at MCC I've
lost count to be honest of how
		
00:36:16 --> 00:36:18
			many we've had Michelle
lottomatica Allah may Allah keep
		
00:36:18 --> 00:36:22
			continuing to increase them and we
have one or more than one every
		
00:36:22 --> 00:36:26
			single day in sha Allah. But we're
very honored to have our dear
		
00:36:26 --> 00:36:30
			brother, our young congregant
Brother Yes, seen here who I was
		
00:36:30 --> 00:36:35
			just informed. This is his second
facilitating his second shahada
		
00:36:35 --> 00:36:39
			this month so our young congregate
yes scene has mashallah is doing
		
00:36:39 --> 00:36:42
			the hard work. He's out there and
he's doing this hard work and he's
		
00:36:43 --> 00:36:47
			mashallah reaching the hearts.
He's brought his dear, I think
		
00:36:47 --> 00:36:52
			best friend or close friend, Romeo
today, and I'm gonna pass the mic
		
00:36:52 --> 00:36:55
			on because apparently, they have
an incredible story that I'm
		
00:36:55 --> 00:36:59
			really eager to hear. So I'm going
to ask rather your scene to go
		
00:36:59 --> 00:37:01
			ahead, he's also going to
facilitate the shahada, which I
		
00:37:01 --> 00:37:04
			love, it's beautiful their
friends, this is going to be a
		
00:37:04 --> 00:37:08
			memory for a lifetime that they
will have Inshallah, so you're
		
00:37:08 --> 00:37:12
			seeing please welcome us to or
share with us your story. This
		
00:37:12 --> 00:37:15
			will last and I want to
cinematical.
		
00:37:16 --> 00:37:20
			So basically, the story began
yesterday,
		
00:37:21 --> 00:37:25
			last night, and like around five
o'clock, me and I got decided to
		
00:37:25 --> 00:37:29
			call up Romeo, I wanted to go ask
him about something right. And
		
00:37:29 --> 00:37:33
			then the conversation just
eventually evolved into, like life
		
00:37:33 --> 00:37:37
			in general. And how like, today's
society, there's so many issues,
		
00:37:38 --> 00:37:41
			you know, issues of masculinity,
men are not really men nowadays,
		
00:37:42 --> 00:37:48
			how the world is influenced by
like, corrupt people. And then
		
00:37:48 --> 00:37:52
			slowly over time, I just, I
started to like, I told him me
		
00:37:52 --> 00:37:55
			about Islam, and how it fixed
every single one of these issues.
		
00:37:55 --> 00:38:01
			1400 years ago, these issues of
like, masculinity, I told Romeo
		
00:38:01 --> 00:38:04
			about how, right yeah, how, like,
it's not cheap to tell it to be
		
00:38:04 --> 00:38:10
			true. Yeah, like just blew my
mind. Yeah, yeah. So I told Romeo
		
00:38:10 --> 00:38:13
			about all that, right. I told
Romeo about how you should stop
		
00:38:13 --> 00:38:15
			playing video games. Stop.
		
00:38:16 --> 00:38:20
			Stop watching all these movies.
He's wasting of time, right? I
		
00:38:20 --> 00:38:23
			told them how slim it makes you
constantly improve every single
		
00:38:23 --> 00:38:26
			day, every single day, you just
want to be a better person every
		
00:38:26 --> 00:38:30
			single day. You want to get closer
to gender, right? So I just told
		
00:38:30 --> 00:38:33
			them about that. I told them I
like and Islam. The whole like,
		
00:38:34 --> 00:38:38
			concept of is like consistency.
You're always consistent. You're
		
00:38:38 --> 00:38:40
			consistent with your prayers,
you're consistent with your like
		
00:38:40 --> 00:38:45
			your thicket, you know, and
consistency always like leads to
		
00:38:45 --> 00:38:49
			success if you know what you're
doing. And subhanAllah I told
		
00:38:49 --> 00:38:53
			Romeo that he wants to seek the
truth and Romeo's he really did
		
00:38:53 --> 00:38:57
			and I was like all right, I want
you to look at the Quran. And
		
00:38:57 --> 00:39:00
			Subhan Allah has shown my video
and they explained about the
		
00:39:00 --> 00:39:04
			mathematical you wanna explain how
you felt about that? Yeah, yeah,
		
00:39:04 --> 00:39:07
			he told me the watch this like 13
Mini minute video that basically
		
00:39:07 --> 00:39:11
			explained it. So I watched it
ended up part of the video. It
		
00:39:11 --> 00:39:15
			mentioned how basically like
everybody that's read the Quran,
		
00:39:16 --> 00:39:17
			Quran sorry about that.
		
00:39:18 --> 00:39:23
			They shed tears and I was like
that's that's wild. So I
		
00:39:25 --> 00:39:28
			I listened to the first 15 verses
of it. And
		
00:39:29 --> 00:39:33
			it was so crazy like I actually
started shedding tears from and I
		
00:39:33 --> 00:39:36
			was like wait, I don't always use
mind when I was like
		
00:39:38 --> 00:39:43
			I'm still like really shocked on
my bad but that but it's, it's
		
00:39:43 --> 00:39:47
			wild is fun a lot. Show them the
first 15 verses of Surah Baqarah.
		
00:39:48 --> 00:39:51
			And then basically talks about how
like this is the book for those
		
00:39:51 --> 00:39:54
			who want guidance, right. And
Romeo's, you know, he wanted the
		
00:39:54 --> 00:39:57
			truth. He wanted to speak the
truth. Unlike the majority of
		
00:39:57 --> 00:39:59
			people today. Romeo like he on
		
00:40:00 --> 00:40:03
			Honestly like wanting to seek
guidance, it did not want to
		
00:40:03 --> 00:40:07
			reject it. He did not want to like
waste time. You know? And because
		
00:40:07 --> 00:40:11
			of that upon Allah, Allah made me
the means of him to be guided. He
		
00:40:11 --> 00:40:13
			will explain to you what happened
like last couple weeks school, you
		
00:40:13 --> 00:40:16
			know? Yeah, you want to Okay, so
basically
		
00:40:19 --> 00:40:21
			it was eyebrows
		
00:40:25 --> 00:40:30
			so like, what happened was a lie.
You know, I just I felt really bad
		
00:40:30 --> 00:40:34
			that I knew about Islam. I felt
really bad about like my non
		
00:40:34 --> 00:40:37
			Muslim friends, how they don't
understand that you don't get it.
		
00:40:38 --> 00:40:42
			And it like it will lie I broke my
heart. Right. So like, I remember
		
00:40:42 --> 00:40:46
			sometimes at night, I prayed to
pray and I would always ask a
		
00:40:46 --> 00:40:48
			lodge to do it. You know, I'm
sasco Allah, you know, guide my
		
00:40:48 --> 00:40:51
			friends, guide them to the truth
guide them, make them see the
		
00:40:51 --> 00:40:56
			truth. And then Subhan Allah, you
know, Romeo at this, yeah, like,
		
00:40:57 --> 00:41:01
			like, out of nowhere, like, I just
started thinking about like the
		
00:41:01 --> 00:41:02
			truth more, and
		
00:41:06 --> 00:41:08
			I don't I don't even know how to
explain it. Like it was just, it
		
00:41:08 --> 00:41:09
			was just weird. Like,
		
00:41:11 --> 00:41:14
			I was just living my normal life
in like, one like, the middle of
		
00:41:14 --> 00:41:18
			the day, randomly, always. I just
started thinking really deep. And
		
00:41:18 --> 00:41:22
			I was like, I don't I want to
start like working. I want to
		
00:41:22 --> 00:41:25
			start like, making my days more
productive. I don't want to just
		
00:41:25 --> 00:41:28
			like, kind of do nothing most of
the time. Like I was starting to
		
00:41:28 --> 00:41:29
			get tired or doing nothing.
		
00:41:31 --> 00:41:35
			Yeah, I was just like, I was like,
roaming, I felt bored of life. You
		
00:41:35 --> 00:41:38
			know, I've always felt like there
was something even more out there
		
00:41:39 --> 00:41:44
			more and more greater than me. And
then salon online, you know, like
		
00:41:44 --> 00:41:48
			me and Romeo just connected. By
the way we hadn't at that time.
		
00:41:48 --> 00:41:52
			Like when school ended, right.
Like in like, what May June 1, we
		
00:41:52 --> 00:41:54
			had to speak. I haven't spoke to
Romeo since like yesterday, and
		
00:41:54 --> 00:41:55
			like a month time.
		
00:41:56 --> 00:42:00
			And then immediately me and him
clicked right away, right? Out of
		
00:42:00 --> 00:42:04
			nowhere. Yeah, I didn't know where
we like a deep discussion for like
		
00:42:04 --> 00:42:07
			three hours. Right? Just talking
back and forth with I can't
		
00:42:07 --> 00:42:12
			remember everything but like, it
was just so mind blowing. You
		
00:42:12 --> 00:42:13
			know, Subhan Allah.
		
00:42:16 --> 00:42:18
			Like, and even Aikido? Yeah, it
was
		
00:42:19 --> 00:42:22
			that conversation, it was also
really nice to connect with him
		
00:42:22 --> 00:42:25
			for all the things we're talking
about. Because there's only like
		
00:42:25 --> 00:42:29
			one other person that I'm actually
friends with, that I'm actually
		
00:42:29 --> 00:42:33
			able to speak about, you know,
like society and like, just a lot
		
00:42:33 --> 00:42:35
			of deep things. And
		
00:42:36 --> 00:42:39
			it was it was just like a really
nice conversation. Like, really
		
00:42:39 --> 00:42:43
			nice, mind blowing conversation.
Yeah, and, you know, because,
		
00:42:43 --> 00:42:47
			like, again, majority of our age
group, you know, they're just
		
00:42:47 --> 00:42:52
			like, they know, they're not men,
you know, they're not true men,
		
00:42:52 --> 00:42:55
			you know, they don't think they
don't want to use their brains.
		
00:42:55 --> 00:42:58
			They're just, they just want to
play on their PlayStation all day.
		
00:42:58 --> 00:43:01
			They don't care about knowledge.
And so upon a life you just like,
		
00:43:01 --> 00:43:04
			let them go outside, you can see
like, the beautiful world, instead
		
00:43:04 --> 00:43:07
			of that, you know, they rather
like stay home, waste their time
		
00:43:07 --> 00:43:11
			on like Netflix movies, nothing
that benefits them. And when I
		
00:43:11 --> 00:43:14
			realized this, like it really like
it just killed my, it killed my
		
00:43:14 --> 00:43:18
			hopes for like, you know, I just I
hated it. I was wasting time. It
		
00:43:18 --> 00:43:21
			was just it was killing me and I
hated it so much. And I wanted to
		
00:43:21 --> 00:43:25
			seek truth on seek knowledge. And
then like will lie. And like after
		
00:43:25 --> 00:43:27
			that I just started learning more
and more about Islam. I started
		
00:43:27 --> 00:43:30
			learning about the masculinity and
manhood over civil law somehow
		
00:43:30 --> 00:43:33
			based on them, and how he's like
the perfect role model. Right?
		
00:43:33 --> 00:43:38
			Yeah. telling him about him and
spot on the line. Oh, yeah. You
		
00:43:38 --> 00:43:40
			want to explain how the miracle of
the Quran how Muhammad cannot read
		
00:43:40 --> 00:43:41
			or write
		
00:43:47 --> 00:43:51
			So, normally, I was talking on the
dinner table, how, like, how Stark
		
00:43:51 --> 00:43:54
			you were that Muhammad SAW? He
could not read or write, but he
		
00:43:54 --> 00:43:56
			came up with something like the
Quran. Yeah.
		
00:43:57 --> 00:44:01
			When he was when, when he was
telling me this yesterday, about
		
00:44:01 --> 00:44:02
			that, I
		
00:44:05 --> 00:44:09
			I'm, like, still kind of
speechless on it. But yeah, that
		
00:44:09 --> 00:44:11
			was literally my reaction. I was
just, I was just speechless. Like,
		
00:44:11 --> 00:44:12
			I didn't know what to do.
		
00:44:14 --> 00:44:16
			I didn't know what to say, like,
at all, I was just speechless.
		
00:44:16 --> 00:44:19
			Like, I still am a little
speechless right now. Like, kind
		
00:44:19 --> 00:44:25
			of like my back for that. But, um,
it was just, yeah, like I said, it
		
00:44:25 --> 00:44:28
			was really nice conversation. And
it made me want to, you know,
		
00:44:28 --> 00:44:31
			learn more about this and I want
to
		
00:44:32 --> 00:44:36
			every night actually, I was gonna
listen to I'm gonna listen to the
		
00:44:36 --> 00:44:39
			15 verses of the Quran every
night. And I already did one
		
00:44:39 --> 00:44:40
			yesterday. So
		
00:44:42 --> 00:44:46
			you know, Hamdulillah you know,
like, well, I like the only one
		
00:44:46 --> 00:44:49
			message I just want to give to
people out there is like, you know
		
00:44:49 --> 00:44:52
			what, Brotherman here said that
Muslims are like the biggest
		
00:44:52 --> 00:44:55
			criminals out there. Because like,
we have the truth. We have the
		
00:44:55 --> 00:44:59
			knowledge, but like a bunch of us,
especially the youth. They're like
		
00:44:59 --> 00:44:59
			ashamed of it.
		
00:45:00 --> 00:45:02
			they're ashamed to go pray,
they're ashamed to say I'm a
		
00:45:02 --> 00:45:05
			Muslim, they're ashamed to grow
the beard or change, like do
		
00:45:05 --> 00:45:09
			anything. And then like, you know,
will lie and said, you know, like
		
00:45:09 --> 00:45:12
			the Japanese, they refuse to wear
it to the Muslim men, they refuse
		
00:45:12 --> 00:45:14
			to pray, they refuse to like to do
anything because they're
		
00:45:14 --> 00:45:18
			embarrassed. They have this
inferiority complex. They think
		
00:45:18 --> 00:45:21
			like, you know, that we're lesser
than, like, these non Muslims, so
		
00:45:21 --> 00:45:25
			it's just completely wrong. Like,
because we have the truth, you
		
00:45:25 --> 00:45:28
			know, like, we're being criminals
here. Rasul Allah sought to summon
		
00:45:28 --> 00:45:33
			like, you know, out of a, he
replaced a trust amongst us,
		
00:45:33 --> 00:45:36
			right, that every single one of us
become values, every single one of
		
00:45:36 --> 00:45:39
			us to spread the message of style.
Because we all have that
		
00:45:39 --> 00:45:43
			capability. You know, like, a lie.
You know, if it was if it wasn't
		
00:45:43 --> 00:45:46
			me, like, if it was any other
muscles, Romea would have came to
		
00:45:46 --> 00:45:50
			the same conclusion. That's the
beauty of Islam. But like, most of
		
00:45:50 --> 00:45:54
			us, like, we just refuse, you're
just embarrassed. And like, it
		
00:45:54 --> 00:45:57
			says, it's sad, because you know,
a lie, we have the truth, you
		
00:45:57 --> 00:45:59
			know, like, why do we not want to
spread the truth? Why are we
		
00:45:59 --> 00:46:02
			embarrassed by it? Why are we
like, you know, lying to
		
00:46:02 --> 00:46:05
			ourselves, you know, it's messed
up, you know?
		
00:46:06 --> 00:46:06
			So,
		
00:46:07 --> 00:46:08
			like that anything
		
00:46:09 --> 00:46:14
			I'd like to talk about this
morning. Okay, go ahead. So, last
		
00:46:14 --> 00:46:17
			night, I couldn't really sleep for
a minute because
		
00:46:18 --> 00:46:22
			of everything that he told me I
should hours to, like, just really
		
00:46:23 --> 00:46:26
			just mind blown. Like, I literally
just couldn't go to sleep, like I
		
00:46:26 --> 00:46:32
			have so much energy for no reason.
And I was just so sick, like, I, I
		
00:46:32 --> 00:46:36
			couldn't go to sleep. So I think I
ended up going to sleep at like
		
00:46:36 --> 00:46:43
			one o'clock. And I woke up at six.
So I didn't I didn't get like too
		
00:46:43 --> 00:46:47
			much. I didn't get like, too good.
Like usually I get like, I'm like
		
00:46:47 --> 00:46:48
			eight or nine hours asleep.
		
00:46:50 --> 00:46:53
			You know, because I try to get
good hours asleep. But this
		
00:46:53 --> 00:46:55
			morning, I woke up like,
		
00:46:56 --> 00:47:00
			like, I've never had that good of
sleep and like weeks and No, no,
		
00:47:00 --> 00:47:04
			not weeks, months. Like, like it
was actually mind blowing. And
		
00:47:04 --> 00:47:07
			then. And then he called me. And
then he was like, How do you feel?
		
00:47:07 --> 00:47:10
			I was like, Dude, I haven't had
this good sleep in a while. Like,
		
00:47:10 --> 00:47:13
			what? And then he was like, Yeah,
that was like the same thing for
		
00:47:13 --> 00:47:16
			me. Like, I had like two hours of
sleep. And I still felt like, I
		
00:47:16 --> 00:47:20
			just I just slept really good now,
dude, that's like,
		
00:47:21 --> 00:47:23
			it's hamster.
		
00:47:26 --> 00:47:28
			Like, he really we really
experienced the same thing. Like
		
00:47:28 --> 00:47:31
			it's so
		
00:47:32 --> 00:47:34
			it's wild. It really is, you know.
		
00:47:37 --> 00:47:40
			And, yeah, another thing that
another thing I'd like to add on
		
00:47:40 --> 00:47:41
			with that is,
		
00:47:42 --> 00:47:45
			even when I did wake up, like I
didn't, I didn't want to, like do
		
00:47:45 --> 00:47:48
			what I normally did. Like, I
didn't want to, like, just hang
		
00:47:48 --> 00:47:50
			out or do nothing in my house.
Like I actually wanted to be
		
00:47:50 --> 00:47:53
			productive with my day. So that's
what I was doing. I was being
		
00:47:53 --> 00:47:54
			productive. And
		
00:47:55 --> 00:47:59
			like, I was enjoying it like it
was
		
00:48:00 --> 00:48:01
			it I've never
		
00:48:03 --> 00:48:03
			like,
		
00:48:04 --> 00:48:05
			like not to come off.
		
00:48:08 --> 00:48:11
			Doing work like that hasn't been
too enjoyable like that. But like
		
00:48:11 --> 00:48:15
			this was the first time like I
actually really enjoyed working
		
00:48:15 --> 00:48:16
			which was
		
00:48:19 --> 00:48:22
			the same for me. Because like with
the whole prayer thing, I was like
		
00:48:22 --> 00:48:26
			I'm without admit this, I was not
really the most practicing Muslim
		
00:48:26 --> 00:48:30
			until like recently, December,
right? I figured it out. Like when
		
00:48:30 --> 00:48:32
			I started praying my five prayers,
when I started being more
		
00:48:32 --> 00:48:36
			consistent with Islam and I
started improving myself. A lie
		
00:48:36 --> 00:48:39
			like I love working though, you
know, it's very easy for me, I'm
		
00:48:39 --> 00:48:43
			gonna just like just to be
productive. And now I just for
		
00:48:43 --> 00:48:46
			some reason, hate this. I have
this hatred, of just wasting time.
		
00:48:47 --> 00:48:50
			I have this hatred of just sitting
there doing nothing, right? Yeah,
		
00:48:50 --> 00:48:54
			it's just so boring. Like, I can't
stand it like you know, always got
		
00:48:54 --> 00:48:56
			to improve always gotta gain
knowledge. Always got to do
		
00:48:56 --> 00:48:58
			something, you know? And it's,
		
00:49:00 --> 00:49:00
			yeah.
		
00:49:01 --> 00:49:05
			Like, today, my friends asked if
they can hang out with me. So I
		
00:49:05 --> 00:49:09
			was like, Sure. So I invited them
to my house. And we're hanging out
		
00:49:09 --> 00:49:13
			for like, a good two hours. And I
was like, I literally just looked
		
00:49:13 --> 00:49:15
			at all my friends. I was like,
dude, like, we're not doing
		
00:49:15 --> 00:49:17
			anything. Y'all can just like go
right now. I'm not gonna lie, cuz
		
00:49:19 --> 00:49:22
			like, I started getting a
headache. Because they're just, I
		
00:49:22 --> 00:49:24
			mean, they're having a good time.
And I was sitting there like,
		
00:49:24 --> 00:49:28
			Dude, we're doing nothing. Like I
don't want to do nothing. Like
		
00:49:28 --> 00:49:30
			y'all can just go right now. So
		
00:49:33 --> 00:49:35
			this event is
		
00:49:38 --> 00:49:41
			over, okay, would you like to say
anything else? Are You Ready?
		
00:49:43 --> 00:49:45
			Ready? You're ready. I don't know
what I'm ready for. But
		
00:49:46 --> 00:49:50
			so let me explain to you what the
shahada is. So the shahada is
		
00:49:50 --> 00:49:54
			basically a declaration of faith.
You're telling all these people
		
00:49:54 --> 00:49:58
			now that I'm a Muslim? And once
you say these words like that
		
00:49:58 --> 00:50:00
			Allah Muhammad knows what it's
like.
		
00:50:00 --> 00:50:03
			Greatest, I'll slowly fade away.
It's the greatest. It's the
		
00:50:03 --> 00:50:07
			greatest one of the greatest
statements of all time. Because,
		
00:50:07 --> 00:50:10
			you know, like, like, the word
lying on the wall, there's no God
		
00:50:10 --> 00:50:14
			where they wish to accept the love
that is so powerful. You know,
		
00:50:14 --> 00:50:18
			like that could honestly like save
you from like, *. Yeah, like,
		
00:50:18 --> 00:50:21
			legit. There'll be a man on Yom
Okayama on the Day of Judgment,
		
00:50:21 --> 00:50:25
			right? They'll have all these
sins, and he'll be like, Man, he's
		
00:50:25 --> 00:50:29
			thinking to himself, I'm gonna go
to *. Right? And then there'll
		
00:50:29 --> 00:50:31
			be one card that says, like, you
know, have a walk, and there'll be
		
00:50:31 --> 00:50:35
			put on his good deeds, right? You
know, what happened? All his bad
		
00:50:35 --> 00:50:39
			deeds, his mountains of bad deeds
dropped immediately because of
		
00:50:39 --> 00:50:42
			that one statement alone. And
because of that, he got agenda to
		
00:50:42 --> 00:50:46
			heaven. Like, yeah, that's how
powerful that statement is. And
		
00:50:46 --> 00:50:49
			it's so powerful in the fact that
after once you say it, you're
		
00:50:49 --> 00:50:51
			like, a new Muslim. You're like,
brand new. You're like a newborn
		
00:50:51 --> 00:50:55
			baby. Every single thing that you
did, I don't care how bad it was.
		
00:50:55 --> 00:51:01
			No sense any syndrome. It's
forgiven immediately. Yeah. So
		
00:51:02 --> 00:51:03
			prepare yourself.
		
00:51:05 --> 00:51:09
			simple statement. No pressure, you
know? Yeah, okay.
		
00:51:10 --> 00:51:11
			I shall do
		
00:51:12 --> 00:51:20
			repeat after me a shadow. I said
that La ilaha illa. No, no, no. in
		
00:51:21 --> 00:51:30
			Allah, Allah wa shadow. Why Shalu
Inna? No, Mohammed Mohammed Abdo
		
00:51:32 --> 00:51:41
			up up the hill up to World War One
rasuluh Rosaleen, you got my bad,
		
00:51:41 --> 00:51:44
			so let's get another sponsor.
Okay. I'm gonna say in English.
		
00:51:44 --> 00:51:49
			Now you're gonna repeat after I
bear witness. I bear witness that
		
00:51:49 --> 00:51:53
			there is no dadey that there is no
God, that
		
00:51:54 --> 00:51:59
			that, no way would you set the
duty? There is no there is no
		
00:51:59 --> 00:52:00
			deity
		
00:52:01 --> 00:52:05
			worthy of worship, worthy of
worship, except the law, except
		
00:52:05 --> 00:52:08
			Allah. And I bear witness and I
bear witness that Muhammad that
		
00:52:08 --> 00:52:12
			Mohammed is the servant is the
servant, a messenger of Allah and
		
00:52:12 --> 00:52:15
			most miserable last year and with
some Allahu Akbar.
		
00:52:17 --> 00:52:21
			Allahu Akbar, you know, now you're
a Muslim, every single thing you
		
00:52:21 --> 00:52:23
			just did is forgiven, you know?
		
00:52:24 --> 00:52:25
			That's wild.
		
00:52:26 --> 00:52:27
			That's
		
00:52:32 --> 00:52:37
			shallow and so inshallah I'll
teach you how to teach the fatter
		
00:52:37 --> 00:52:40
			the first chapter on on and then
I'll teach you how to pray
		
00:52:42 --> 00:52:46
			and got your money or has like the
box, right? Yeah. Someone who has
		
00:52:46 --> 00:52:50
			like the Muslim box and it will
teach you it will help you out. We
		
00:52:50 --> 00:52:54
			have Muslim programs out there. So
don't worry, man. Don't feel
		
00:52:54 --> 00:52:57
			overwhelmed. Just take it one step
at a time. All right. All right.
		
00:53:01 --> 00:53:04
			Oh, no, no, it's fine. It's fine.
It's in that suddenly it's in your
		
00:53:04 --> 00:53:05
			office. It's yeah. Okay.
		
00:53:07 --> 00:53:08
			So when he's bringing
		
00:53:09 --> 00:53:10
			you want to tell us how you feel
like
		
00:53:13 --> 00:53:14
			dude.
		
00:53:15 --> 00:53:16
			Like
		
00:53:17 --> 00:53:23
			that conversation last night was
actually so mind blowing. Like
		
00:53:25 --> 00:53:28
			not and especially coming here
like I felt so welcomed into this.
		
00:53:29 --> 00:53:29
			Like
		
00:53:34 --> 00:53:36
			I appreciate the dinner. No
problem.
		
00:53:38 --> 00:53:39
			Anytime.
		
00:53:41 --> 00:53:41
			Yeah, go ahead.
		
00:53:44 --> 00:53:48
			On the you know, I know you don't
have two kids. So like when new
		
00:53:48 --> 00:53:50
			Muslims converted some some of
them they choose a Muslim name,
		
00:53:50 --> 00:53:52
			but you don't have to choose
names.
		
00:53:53 --> 00:53:56
			Okay, yeah, it's fine. You can
keep rolling if you like, but you
		
00:53:56 --> 00:53:56
			know.
		
00:53:58 --> 00:54:00
			Alright. So
		
00:54:01 --> 00:54:01
			shall
		
00:54:03 --> 00:54:07
			We'll start you off. This is your
prayer memoir. Shala. You know, so
		
00:54:07 --> 00:54:11
			let me pray five times a day. We
face Mecca. Right? You know, black
		
00:54:11 --> 00:54:16
			you cop, right? Yeah, we face that
direction. And then we pray. Right
		
00:54:16 --> 00:54:19
			and show love. Oh, we got you a
bunch of books right by Hamza
		
00:54:19 --> 00:54:26
			unification. Sir. Right. So like,
it's my Hamza Yusuf. He's a famous
		
00:54:27 --> 00:54:29
			Muslim preacher. You know,
everyone knows him. He sometimes
		
00:54:29 --> 00:54:32
			comes here, right? So then I'll
leave that book right here.
		
00:54:34 --> 00:54:37
			You know, when we have this book,
the book of assistance for new
		
00:54:37 --> 00:54:40
			Muslims is going to help you out a
lot. Until you're right now for a
		
00:54:40 --> 00:54:44
			long time you're gonna be you
might feel lonely, but just trust
		
00:54:44 --> 00:54:46
			me these books are going to be
like your best friends rope.
		
00:54:47 --> 00:54:52
			Alright, the next book is this
being a Muslim, a practical guide.
		
00:54:52 --> 00:54:56
			It's going to help you out trust
me like, okay, like, all right,
		
00:54:56 --> 00:54:59
			and this is the greatest book of
all time. Got out
		
00:55:00 --> 00:55:06
			I'm Yes sir. Yes, this is the
Quran and it's all Masha Allah is
		
00:55:06 --> 00:55:11
			even with the last sermon. So like
it's the English translation. You
		
00:55:11 --> 00:55:14
			can take that Be careful with it.
It's the word of Allah directly,
		
00:55:14 --> 00:55:18
			right? Yeah. It's like the one of
the, it's the greatest book of all
		
00:55:18 --> 00:55:21
			time, there's gonna be nothing
like this book until the Day of
		
00:55:21 --> 00:55:26
			Judgment, there'll be nothing. So
just take care of it, you know,
		
00:55:26 --> 00:55:30
			read it, and trust me any, any
questions you have any stressful
		
00:55:30 --> 00:55:33
			situation that you're gonna have,
you're gonna find it in this book,
		
00:55:33 --> 00:55:36
			eventually, you just got to read
it, you know, you got to think
		
00:55:36 --> 00:55:41
			over. So this is this is your new
Muslim guy in Hamden, but I
		
00:55:41 --> 00:55:43
			appreciate it and I got your
anytime.
		
00:55:45 --> 00:55:49
			So again, don't feel overwhelmed.
We're going to take this baby
		
00:55:49 --> 00:55:51
			steps, you know, yeah, so