Controlling Your Anger
Channel: Musleh Khan
File Size: 28.90MB
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our of yeomen Jomar by asking Allah subhanho wa Taala to shower His mercy and His acceptance upon each and every one of us, Allah whom I mean. We further ask Allah Subhana Allah
to give strength and patience to our brothers and sisters Aina mana can wherever they may be, may Allah azza wa jal give them strength. May Allah subhanaw taala bless them and honor them with patience and reward them tremendously in this world and in the hereafter Allah whom I mean, you will Bab one of the names of Allah subhanho wa Taala is that he is Haleem
al Haleem comes from the word Hillman. And Hillman carries two meanings in the Quran.
One of it is wisdom. And the other meaning is controlling one's anger. Allah subhanho wa Taala is called Al Halim because our Prophet Alayhi Salatu was Salam once said,
that there is no entity more patient than Allah.
He has created mankind and mankind will associate to him. They will sin to him and yet by his
His mercy and His love continues to provide for all.
And this hadith highlights specifically those that Allah subhanho wa Taala you would expect he would be upset with, but Allah continues to provide. This is why he calls himself al Halim.
Now you might be wondering, what's the connection? If it means wisdom, and controlling one's anger? How are these two definitions related to one another? The answer is very simple, very interesting and beautiful. We're Allah men tell us
that you cannot have wisdom. If you cannot control your anger.
How? Because when someone is in the state of anger, it's difficult for them. They allow themselves to get to that point it for them to think rationally, to say the right things or to do the
most of the times people who lose control of their anger and up with remorse and regret, may Allah give us strength. Anger is one of the only qualities it manifests itself to a point where action comes out. So the person is physically abusive, or verbally abusive, they start insulting and saying awful things, almost 100% of the time you end up with regret. How could I have acted that way? How could I have said those things? This is why our Prophet Eileen Salatu was Salam. Listen to how he describes anger in the hearts of human beings. He says sallallahu alayhi wa salam in an authentic hadith in a totemism.
in Lahore, Baba Gemora tune fee will be ebene. Adam, that anger is a jumble you know what a jumbo is. When you take hot coal, and you burn it and torch it. After a certain time, do you notice that the coal itself becomes red, it's fused with heat. And then it starts to spark when it gets out of control. That moment when the coal is burning, and it becomes red and hot. That's how the prophesy Salam describes how anger in the hearts Benny, the children of Adam. So what does that mean scholars of the Arabic language explain.
They tell us
all of our good qualities. So our patience, our E min love, care, tolerance, all the good qualities we have, as human beings
reside were right here in the heart.
Now if you take a ball of fire, and it's placed in the heart, what ends up happening to all of those good qualities, they get burnt out. This is why anger when you lose control of it, why it becomes so dangerous, because all the other good qualities slowly but surely they disappear.
One might say, I get that rhythm mostly I understand. But I'm just a tempered individual. It's just the way I am. I come from a home where everybody loses their anger and I can't control. What we say is what the Prophet alayhi salatu salam taught us that the one who struggles and strives to do the right thing. And if your struggle seems to be more than others, then so is the reward and the Agile. So your reward for fighting and controlling yourself is now doubled and tripled, because the struggle is more for you than someone else. What more of an incentive does one want.
Now, there was a time when a man a Sahabi came to the messenger sallallahu alayhi wa salam, and all of us we know this hadith, he came up to him and he said y'all rasool Allah al Seanie.
O Messenger of Allah, give me some comprehensive advice. LCD comes from the word we slide or we'll see.
Normally when you look at the English translation, it'll say advice.
But we'll see is so much more than just advice we'll see is the kind of advice you give someone, you say it once, and it changes their life.
So this companion is asking the Prophet alayhi salatu salam tells me something that you haven't told anyone else. It's unique to me, and you don't have to repeat it, I will carry it, it will impact my life in a positive way. For the rest of my time. What would you say if someone asked you the same question? What would you tell them? Think about it. There's so many things we can say. Especially if they are Muslim, but even if they're not, we might say things like, connect yourself to Allah, or don't leave off prayer, or make sure you do this, this ritual or that continued to connect with the Quran. There are so many things you and I would say, listen to what the messenger sallallahu alayhi
wa sallam tells this companion, he tells him, Bob,
don't lose control of your anger. So the companion is listening to this and he says, Tell me more Latin. Tell me some more Latin. Give me more. Yeah, rasool Allah, lotta dub, till the companion finally understood. That is the whole advice. Don't lose control.
It's important to understand the word hubbub. It's important to understand this word. Because in Arabic, there are several words to describe anger, several lub dub is the most extreme of them. Lub dub is the kind of anger that causes a physical reaction. So the person fights or purses or does something or break something. So as a result, that's all dub.
The Prophet Alayhi Salatu was Salam is telling this companion. He's not saying to him, don't get angry, because that's not possible. Every one of us is created that we will feel and experience anger.
Even the messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam got angry many times in his life. But Subhanallah it's the remarkable he sallallahu alayhi wa salam never lost control of his anger his entire life. As a matter of fact, there are stories of companions who would look at him sallallahu alayhi wa sallam and they knew that he was angry about something. They knew something about his face. It changed a certain way they immediately recognize and one particular companion said, I saw the messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam give a smile. But it wasn't his true smile. It was the smiles that he had. That he would cover up his anger.
So the messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam even when he's upset, what is he still doing? He's still smiling with the people.
So hubbub is the most extreme form. Listen to how poor N teaches us to control anger.
There is a set of verses in surah. Earlier Imran I'm sure all of us we've heard these verses. Where Allah subhanho wa Taala says what said Yo Isla, Mo Farah, Tim Mira become what Jannetty hon do has somewhat well ordered, or it that to whom, or it that little motel pain. Allah says, run, hurry and rush towards seeking Allah's forgiveness so that you are blessed and honored with a reward that is more vast and wide and spacious than everything in the heavens on Earth.
And this reward is going to be given to him the terpene the motility, the one who is conscious of Allah subhanho wa Taala that's all of us. So pay attention because this area is talking to every one of us all of us are from amongst them with terpene May Allah preserve and protect us in our lives and reward us and honor us in the hereafter Allah whom I mean so here's what Allah wants us wants from you and I if you're a Mattel P here's what you have to keep in mind and let the you know human hippo and if you sold raw you will bought raw. Number one. This is Allah's list.
Number one is that you are charitable during the days and nights. So in other words, as long as you're able to, it doesn't matter where when how, as long as you're able to, you are constantly giving back. That doesn't mean
Just money or items all the time. You're constantly constantly in the service of charity in whatever capacity you are able to. But here's number to look at. The next item on the list will tell the mean at a high yield.
Allah azza wa jal then says
when they feel anger, they suppress that anger, understand the words.
kelvim is when you hold yourself back, you know, when you're feeling angry, and somebody says, relax, put a lid on it, go somewhere else, just calm yourself down, you're trying to repel and stop this fire from boiling within. That's called Kelvin of life is another word for anger. Life is the anger that comes just before a hot tub.
Live is that feeling?
We all know that feeling. We've all experienced it at some point, that feeling you want to react? You want to say it, you want to do something. But Allah blessed you with Calvin, you hold back. You say, Rosa, Bill, I'm not going to do this. You know, it's just like our version of Calvinism is when you say you know what, I want to say something to you. But I'm not going to say anything to you. I'm going to hold myself together. I'm going to go eat, I'm going to asleep I'm going to win me will do, I'm going to do something different. That's Calvin Mila youth. That's one of the priorities to Allah subhanho wa taala. If you want to be counted as a real Mattel T, why is anger and controlling it so
strict in Islam?
We mentioned earlier, almost 100% of the time, when somebody follows their anger, they ended up in regret.
Some of the worst worst problems in the lives of mankind, since the beginning of time, have been associated or linked because people were upset with each other. As a matter of fact, historically, wars and battles happen between countries because one country is upset and angry with the other people's relationships, their friendships, their family, relationships, marriages, think about it. Almost all the problems that manifest is somehow linked or connected to anger. So what do we do?
If we all have this? How can we always be counted amongst those who when they do experience and feel that anger, that they're able to control it? How can I be amongst that and guarantee myself to be amongst them? Number one, brothers and sisters.
Our Prophet alayhi salatu wa sallam told us
that there is nothing more beloved to Allah than the one who feels anger and they swallow that anger. So understand, when you control that, that is one of the most beloved things the one of the most beloved moments of your life that Allah subhanahu Uttara will honor and appreciate you. Number two, our messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam told us that a lot of Gumina che ultion. That anger is from shaitan. So what scholars taught us to do is another Hadith tells us that when you do feel that anger, get yourself to say or was a bIllahi min, Ash shaytani R rajim. Someone might ask, you know, brother, must I get all of the C or the biller and do all of that I get it. But when I'm
angry, I can't think that way. I can't get my mind to concentrate. I'm going into a rage on one hand, but then I've got to keep myself composed. So I can say I was a biller min ash shaytani R rajim. How do I go from there to here? It's a really interesting question. And the answer our scholars teach us, this is where all of your hard work in preserving and protecting your Islam this is where it comes. When times become difficult. It is those moments where they were easy and you are in the state of worship, you are connected to your master you are connected to Allah. This is where an element of telkwa and fear of Allah subhanho wa Taala has to come in and remind you that despite
you're here, I fear Allah subhanho wa Taala for my tongue for my actions will be law him in a shell Tanya regime. It's not something I can tell you or teach you how to do
You know yourself better than anyone. So you know that from getting here to here, the way that I build that focus that strength to do that is when times are calm and easy. You're always striving to do the right thing. Our messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam told us some other ways of how to control anger, that when you do feel it, go and perform will do cool yourself down, calm yourself down. Another piece of advice he sallallahu alayhi wa salam tells us that if you are standing, change your position, sit if you're sitting lie down, so change whatever position you're in. There are two more items I wish to share with you in the second part of the whole Tibet that scholars have
taught us and will Allah He it's really interesting. So I will pause here may Allah subhanho wa Taala continue to purify our hearts. May Allah subhana wa Taala accept our efforts. May Allah azza wa jal always in forever continued to increase us in righteousness in this world and honor us in the hereafter. Allahumma Amin Apolo Mantis Marilyn was stuffed hula Lea welcome when he said every Muslim equally them stuffed into who will afford Rahim.
Bismillah Alhamdulillah wa Salatu was Salam ala Rasulillah Allah He of Talu Salah woman wala buried the next point that helps us to control our anger. scholars tell us figure out what are the triggers in your life?
What are the things that are triggering your anger?
Now for a lot of people that could be another person, a person you might see at the masjid from time to time, a person you might be close to it might be within the family, the extended family might be at work or school? These are people you're seeing on a regular basis? How am I supposed to control that? Again, we go back to what we've said brothers and sisters, you have got to find a way from within, based on your relationship with Allah, Allah gives you the strength to put things aside, if you see somebody, and they were the person that upset you or angered you a while ago, you try to avoid that as much as possible. Which leads us to the final point will lay the final point I
hesitated to mention it today. Because it's really difficult for me to say because it's a harsh reality. But this comes from our older men. And when you hear it, I asked you to take a moment and think about what this point is what it means to you. And you'll find that Subhanallah it's very interesting, just how true this last point is. It's a harsh one. And that is our scholars tell us.
If you really pause and think why you became so angry, it's almost always linked to your own ego and pride.
How? Because someone didn't do what you expected them to do.
You wanted them to say a certain thing, or react a certain way, or do it a certain way.
And because they could didn't or they couldn't or they chose not to. Then the anger came out. And if you pause and think about it Subhanallah it is a real reality check. I leave you with this final statement from Abdullah ibn Massoud already Allah one we conclude and we say
that he once said oral the Allah one you never judge a man when he is calm and relaxed, but rather you judge him when he is in the state of anger. Because unanimously scholars say this is how you know the true person. It's what was in that heart in the state of anger. You get into this I don't care mode and everything starts to come out. That's how you judge up real person. My my brothers and sisters, as long as we are here while law he we all have it the ability the Eman and the strength to continue life in a manner that Allah is pleased with. So feel confident that you have what it takes to despite if you have anger issues, Allah still left you here you're still alive you're still
listening to this reminder why? Because you will have what it takes to overcome May Allah azza wa jal give us strength may Allah bless us and honor us with patients Allah whom we send peace and blessings to our Rasul salotto Robbie wasallam highly commended Maranhenses
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