Hosai Mojaddidi – Purification of the Heart for Muslimahs (Monthly Sisterhood Halaqa Part 11)
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AI: Transcript ©
The lower salatu salam ala Asch with an MBI Well, mursaleen say
that our Mo letter What have you been a Muhammad sallallahu alayhi
wa sallam one second sort of the seventh Kathira Assalamu aleikum
wa rahmatullah wa barakato. Thank you, for being here, sisters, I
know, it's midweek and we still have work and other commitments.
So it's always an honor to have you here, and Hamdulillah. For
those who are also watching on Livestream, just to refresh your
memories we are working, or we are reading from purification of the
heart in this class, and Al Hamdulillah. Today, we are going
to be talking about a topic that we all need to really revisit over
and over again, especially in today's world. In fact, to be
honest, all of the diseases of the heart are are relevant, they're
present, we all to a certain degree, have likely all of them.
And we need to come to come to that understanding and Shala. And
also heed the warning of many of our teachers that this is among
the sciences that are considered,
you know, blue Kotori, for us to constantly renew our intentions
and to purify, and to not see, you know, to basically read this as
often as possible or read through it and really never abandoned this
science. Because every day we're tested in different ways. So the
topic we're going to talk about today is envy. And usually, what I
do is I read from the book and then provide commentary for you
know, as as it pertains to the text or any stories that I have to
share, we will likely take a break. I think Aisha comes in
around eight o'clock. So we'll take a break for each and then we
can come back and do some q&a or have any discussions you want to
have inshallah. So Bismillah. With that said, I'll read from the
verses of the poem. Well, I'm on page 27, if you have the book 100
So envy.
If you were to describe your desire that someone lose his
blessing as envy, then your description will be accurate. In
other words, if you yourself were able through some ruse to
eliminate someone's blessing, you would utilize that ruse to do so.
But if the fear of God the Eternally Besought prevents you
from doing so, then you are not an envious person. This is what the
proof of Islam, Imam Al Ghazali Rahim Allah is expected with hope,
from the bounty of the Possessor of Majesty and generosity. He said
that whoever despises envy, such that he loads it in himself is
safeguarded from fulfilling what it customarily necessitates. So
the definition, envy or hesed, is a severe disease of the heart that
some scholars hold to be the root of all diseases, while others
opined that the parent disease goes back to covetousness Bhama.
Regardless of where envy ranks in the hierarchy of diseases, most
scholars agree that it is the first manifestation of wrongdoing,
and the first cause of disobedience against God. It
occurred when Satan IBLEES refused to obey God. When commanded to bow
down before the new creation, Adam, the first human being,
nothing prevented a bliss from bowing down except his envy of
Adam, for God chose Adam to be his vicegerent on Earth instead of
him. At least, arrogantly objected to the command that he show Adam
any honor for ably saw himself, a creation from fire, superior to
Adam, created merely from clay. When confronted with his
disobedience, Satan did not seek forgiveness from God. And viewers
develop a mindset that makes it impossible for them to admit they
are wrong, to manifest and V is to manifest one of the
characteristics of the most wretched creature same in Arabic
has sued or hassad is one who carries and emanates this envy,
and the object of one's envy is called Massoud. The Quran teaches
us to seek refuge and God from the evil of the envier hassad when he
envies in Surah falak chapter five, the prophesy centum said
that entity consumes good deeds the way fire devours dry wood, the
prophesy. centum also said every possessor of any blessing is
envied someone of means we'll have someone who envies him for what he
possesses. Even a street sweeper may be envied. If he owns a donkey
to pull his cart, and another street sweeper has no donkey and
has to pull his cart. This can be a cause for envy.
So, I mean, right away we can see that this is a
Again, as I mentioned, very relevant disease, and it's also
one of those that if you're not paying attention to your thoughts,
it can creep up, right. And
you may, you may experience it in in two ways, one where where you
have envy for someone, right, you may see someone that has a
blessing that you want, that you have been pining for, or yearning
for, or making dollars. So you may be susceptible to being the envy
or right where you are looking to someone wondering, you know, you
know, how they got what they want, or sorry, how they got what they
have, that you want. And you may start to, you know, become almost
if especially in the world of social media, that gives us access
to kind of peer into people's lives, right, we can go and look
at their life. And in some cases, people have become very open with
the most private aspects of their their life, which is honestly very
interesting. If you think about a time before social media, right.
And some of us were old enough to remember what that was like, where
people didn't just have access to your private life, they had to be
very close, and they had to actually come over to your house
to actually see, you know, the way that you lived your family, your
possessions, but now from a remote area all the way across the world,
some random stranger you've never met in your life before, can know
very intimate details. So we may have fallen into this very
seductive trapping of social media where we, because we are curious
about a person's possessions. For example, if you hear that, a
relative of yours went on a fancy vacation, right? The rumor mill
someone mentioned, Oh, they got the one on this cruise or this
other vacation? Like, Oh, really? How'd you hear about it? Well,
they posted it all over their social media. So what do we do we
race to their account, to go check out the footage to check out the
pictures, right? And what is the point of that the point of that
is, you know, I haven't been on a vacation a long time, I've been
stuck working, I don't think I'll be able to go anywhere for a while
I have obligations, I can't afford it. So let me live in a way
vicariously through this person's, you know, personal life. And so
you go down that rabbit hole, and you end up not just on one picture
or one, you know, story, but maybe you go through more, you know,
there's sometimes little captions that are, you know,
that are again, calling us. So we go click on bunch of buttons. And
next you just waste so much time. But that's how it works. It's a
very, you know, unless you're paying attention to your behavior,
and why you're doing what you're doing, you can fall into these
types of thoughts, right? And, and that can end in certain ways.
Maybe if you're in Sharla, your heart is you're working on your
heart, maybe yes, there's a little bit of a, you know, a slight pain,
because you haven't been somewhere but you're, you're genuinely happy
for them, and happy for them happy that they had a good time. And
maybe it ends there. Or maybe you're annoyed, because, you know,
you don't like you know, so one or both of them are the whole lot of
them. And now you're allowing your heart to develop even more
diseases. And that's why, you know, as was mentioned, this is
considered the root of the diseases because it can lead to
other diseases. So we have to be very careful of engaging in these
things that have been so normalized in our society, but
from our faith perspective, are actually very low things, you
know, wanting to know people's private business is actually
antithetical to Islam. Right, because the problems listed them
said what? Very clearly, to mind your own business. So when we go
down those paths that
peering into people's lives becoming like what we used to call
them back when I was younger, a peeping Tom, right? voyeurism, it
is actually
indicative of a problem internally if you do that. So you have to
kind of be aware of yourself like what is it? Why am I so curious?
Am I just, you know, busy body nosy person that wants to know,
other people's business afford to what end? How is that helping my
life? Right, if I am just engaging in that behavior, but again, when
something is normalized, and you see it off, you know, done on such
a large scale, everybody kind of does it and nobody thinks twice
about it, then you may not realize how repugnant it is, until you go
back to the dean and you realize it's panela we're not even we
shouldn't I mean, I remember one of our teachers said that his
father ingrained this in him to such a degree that I believe he
was in the streets of Damascus, Syria, and if there was like a car
accident or a fight happening, he would remind him don't even
Look, you know, like the Rubbernecker effect, right? You
hear a noise. And you see you hear something or you witnessed
something, it's, it's human instinct we want, we're curious,
we want to look but his point in teaching him that was this whole
thing. You can't do anything about that, right? It's, you're a little
kid basically, don't have the habit of being that curious person
who wants to know what's going on all the time with other people,
unless you're obviously you have a good intention want to help them
that's different. But in this case, it was just one of the
examples that he mentioned that even to that degree of not falling
into these habits of just wanting to look and notice and what's
going on. And I've certainly caught myself. One example I think
we've all probably experienced many times before, is when you're
in a gathering, or in a hotbed in a prayer hall. And you hear that
baby crying in the back, right? Ay, ay, ay, I urge you or I, yeah,
I'm gonna put you to the test, I encourage you to try to fight the
instinct to turn around. It's very difficult, right? Because,
especially if it's repeated, and you're just like, what was the
mom? Why isn't she taking care of his child, and you're frustrated,
right? Subhanallah it happened to me recently, and I completely and
Allah is my witness. I did this with this in mind. Because I said,
It's so unfair, if these children if I turn around, I'm gonna have a
negative opinion of them. Right? I'm annoyed by the sound, I don't
want to know who they are. Because it's not fair to them, that I
acknowledge them, I look at them. And then I imprint this negative
thought in my heart toward them. And the next time I avoid them,
right. They're children, they're being children, let them be, I've
had that happen on a flight before, same thing where it's
like, Nope, no matter how much I want to turn around, and given
them a glare, I'm not going to do that, because I'm fighting my own
knifes that entitles me to think that I you know, that everything
should go according to my comfort, you know, people were existing on
this planet with all of our fellow human beings. And sometimes people
have problems and can't they just exist, or just everything has to
go according to our comforts in our needs. Right? So the
entitlement of the knifes is what we're trying to also address here.
So, and the, again, is something that can affect us in that way,
where we are literally doing things or engaging in behaviors
that will lead us to very dangerous pads. Or it could be the
opposite, which is mentioned here, where we are so unaware of this
disease as being a real threat, that we put ourselves out there
and lead and allow ourselves and our families, our loved ones, to
be susceptible to being afflicted by the the envy of other people,
right. And so this is the advice that was mentioned at the end here
that every possessor of any blessing is envied. So when you
have
anything that's going good for you, whether it's your career, or
your relationship, or your, you know, health, you know, people,
for example, will be very excited to share, you know,
whether it's, you know, they've lost weight, or they're going to
the gym, and they're getting healthy, or they went on a hike,
and they went this place in that place. And we we fail to realize
that there are a lot of people who, again, maybe on the other end
of the screen looking into your life, and they don't, they're not
able to do those things. Or they could, maybe there was a point
where they were able to, but they can't do it anymore. And so the
point is, is not to fall into what we see now, again, in this time
and place that we're all in, where people don't think about the
consequences of oversharing. Right? Over sharing your blessings
is putting yourself in threat, a threat. And the more private you
are with your blessings, the greater the protection of that
blessing. But when you put it out there, then be prepared for
problems right your relationship is I would say one of the most
important things. I give this advice to couples all the time to
please guard your relationship, no matter how wonderful it is, how
wonderful your spouse's your children are. You don't need to
share that with a single soul. Literally other than showing a
gratitude to your spouse, to your family and of course to allow us
to find out that as a as a point of deep gratitude to him for
giving you that blessing. There's really no point in going around
sharing it with anyone else. And as sad as it might seem to some
people, even your closest family members can afflict you with hesed
I know people who have felt jealousy envy from their own
parents. So you imagine you're a young girl, your spouse, you
married someone you have a love marriage and your husband is
buying you gifts left and right taking you all over the place. If
your mother did not have that experience with your father
Right. Even though she's your mother, she loves you. It may
enter her heart that, why never got that. And you may see or hear
even a response that seems a little bit passive aggressive,
maybe a little unkind. And a lot of people are on the other end of
it like, wow, that was strange. Why did she say that? Or she
didn't seem very happy for me. Right? This could be at play. And
I think that's hard for a lot of people to accept that someone
close to you, like your mother, your father, your siblings, could
potentially not be happy for your blessing, but it is that real,
right? So we're reminded repeatedly to just safeguard your
blessings. Don't be a braggart. Don't be a showboat, don't go
around flaunting whatever you have. And do the opposite,
actually, which is to minimize your blessings, when you're
talking about other people not as a means of being ungrateful, but
rather, don't put the focal point don't be at the center, right?
Don't spotlight yourself. When we are with other people.
We should be more concerned with, you know, benefiting them, right
want for your brother, what you want for yourself, being a person
who is interested genuinely in their well being having, you know,
conversations where you're not so self centered. But there's
something to be said about, again, the world that we live in, when
every opportunity you're out with people, whether it's, you know,
one on one, or in a group setting, and you want to keep bringing the
conversation back to yourself. And that, you know, I'm sure we've all
experienced that, where there are some people who just seem to
really want attention, and they seek attention. So that's
something that is just again, not becoming of believer, because we
should be more concerned with listening, learning, speaking
about beneficial things right. Outside of even the personal
individual, you know, needs or lives of the people involved, we
should be talking about really important things, you know, that
help us to move away from the necessary state, right. So when
you're, that's why we are encouraged to do the remembrance
of Allah, to make sure that our knowledge or that our discourse
and our gatherings are, are beneficial. We're actually
exchanging, you know, good information with each other, we're
teaching we're learning. So that again, we get out of the UFC
state. So these are what we're encouraged to do. And that will
really prevent and it'll mitigate this issue of, of inviting people
to know too many intimate details about your life feeling the need
to share, and to flaunt in any way, even if it's because, you
know, there's if you when you when you go further down into the
diseases, like you'll will cover soon, diseases that relate to
envy, right, for example, ostentation. ostentation is where
you show off your stuff, you know, you could show up your religious
practice or otherwise, but you're basically showing off in order to
impress people in order to make a name for yourself. So this is the
danger of these diseases there. They are kind of interwoven, you
know, and then there's Soma, which is similar, but it's wanting
renown. It's wanting reputation, it's wanting to, for people to
know, your accomplishments, right? So kind of dropping hints about
like, you know, where you work, you know, name dropping, for
example, is very classic example, right? That people like to let
people know that I know this person, I've been here and I did
this, that kind of behavior, again, is all inviting these
diseases onto yourself. And that's why I mean, in addition to
compromising your Nia with all law, that's the other danger is
that you're inviting harm to yourself. So, you know, it's a
very important part of this conversation is that we look at
NBS two directions, you know, that you could be the one envying
others for their blessings, or being careless, and then bringing
envy into your life. And then you wonder, why are things not going
well, suddenly, in your relationship? And I know people
who have had this exact same thing happen. I know someone who says
that every single time she had ever posted about her
relationship, like that night, or the next day, there was a fight.
And it's, you know, she eventually saw the pattern. Right? So it's
like, oh, you know, we went to dinner went here, went there, and
then Subhanallah out of nothing, there would come an argument with
her spouse, and it would be like, a Cold War for days or weeks, like
so you realize, like, subhanAllah this is real. And the populism
told us, you know, I know how Cohen right, the evil eye is real.
So we take these things very seriously.
hamdulillah so, we'll continue we're on page 28. The middle
paragraph here. While it is believed that envy can bring about
harm to the one indeed, ultimately, it is the envier who
was harmed the most the evil
AI is generally related to envy, though not necessarily. So. Some
people simply have the eye, some type of psychic power that does
not necessitate envy. Every culture has a concept of the evil
eye. In some cultures, parents used to pierce the ears of their
firstborn males, and dress them as little girls for the first five
years since firstborn males were so coveted. Many Chinese conduct
rituals to prevent the evil eye from afflicting their homes by
placing mirrors on walls to reflect evil looks. The word
invidious means env and it originally meant to look at
something with a malevolent or evil eye. The Prophet sallallahu
alayhi wa sallam said the evil eye is true, or you know how can the
evil eye is not superstition, the prophesy centum worked to
eradicate superstition from the minds of people. For example, the
Arabs believed that when the moon eclipse it meant that a great
person died when a lunar eclipse occurred. On the day the prophesy
sedums, infant son Ibrahim died, many of the Arabs were impressed
by this phenomenon. While a charlatan would have seized the
moment to take advantage of such an event, the prophesy centum
announced to the people, the moon is a sign of God, the sun is a
sign of God, they do not Eclipse for anyone. The Mahmoud explains
that energy is exhibited when one desires that another person lose a
blessing he or she has this loss could be anything big or small, a
house, a car, a job, et cetera. For example, an envious person may
become resentful that a co worker was promoted to the point that he
wishes that the person lose the position. A woman may envy another
woman because of her husband, such that she hopes that a marital
crisis separate the couple, a man may grow envious over another
man's wife. There are endless variations of envy. But a common
thread is the desire that someone lose a blessing. In essence, envy
arises over what one perceives to be a blessing in someone else's
possession.
Again, this, I've heard so many stories over the years about this.
And it's it's really just unfortunate how people allow this
disease, whether it comes from, again, wanting something that
someone else has, or wanting someone to lose a blessing that
they have, just out of spite. You know, I've seen some really, or
heard some really evil stories over the years. I remember one
person, she said that she knew someone who basically did not like
her daughter in law, for whatever reason, I think, maybe she was
jealous of her or some stuff that can happen right? If the mother
has what they call an emotionally incestuous relationship with with
her son, she may become quite threatened when he gets married,
right. And so it can cause this type of jealousy, this type of
envy to emerge, because suddenly, the sun may start to give more
attention to the wife than his mother. So in this case, the woman
was so Altavilla May Allah protect us from hearts like that. But she
was very upset that his wife had become pregnant, that she actually
made a dog that she would lose her baby against her. And sure enough,
she had a miscarriage. So this evil eye, this ability to wish ill
on someone that can come from envy, but not always is very real,
you know, that some people have that ability. It can come from
evil, and it can also come from, from just the person who's
afflicted with this, you know, I know someone else personally, who
Inshallah, she doesn't have it anymore. But there was a time
where she believed very strongly that she had this,
you know, this evil eye. And there were examples of it, you know, I
mean, I just destroyed many, many stories, but one in particular
comes to mind
of a dress, friend of mine was wearing a dress and she she looked
very Michelle beautiful, and
someone at a gathering had told her that, you know, her dress was
very nice, and within seconds, she, I think tripped, her heel got
caught in it, and it started to unthread. So there's examples like
that, and if you've, you know, I've experienced them speaking, I
had someone once asked me, before speaking engagement if I was
nervous, and Allahu Allah, I don't know. But I generally you know,
after speaking for almost 30 years, you don't get as nervous.
You know, you kind of
You know, it's like riding a bike, you get better at it. So I
answered confidently, Nick, no, I feel fine. And I did feel fine.
And then I went up and I started making a lot of mistakes that were
so odd for me that even people who heard me were like, are you okay?
I was like, I have no idea what happened to me. Like, I had no
nerves 100 I did not feel nervous. But somehow I just started
stumbling and making a lot of mistakes that were apparently odd.
So things like that can happen, people can throw you off your
game, or whatever you want to call it. So the point is, is, you know,
this is these are real phenomenon. And we can't, by the way,
we shouldn't we shouldn't let ourselves presume the worst of
people, right, we should practice
personal vision, which is making excuses and not, not presuming
definitively, that we know someone has an evil eye, we shouldn't do
that, we should, we should really be aware of that. Because it's
reflects, you know, we don't have knowledge of these things. These
are unseen things, but we just have to be aware that they are
real, and that they can happen. And the best way to protect
yourself is to of course, do your protective laws. Like we you know,
before we started, we do that we did our work, which we're highly
encouraged to do, you know, the mother thing, we seek protection
from Allah either, of course, see, these are the ways and staying in
a state of will do. These are the ways that we protect ourselves
from the effects of these harms. Right. So that's what we should be
doing. hamdulillah Yeah, then. Okay, Michelle. Okay, so we can,
we can stop and then continue after prayer. It's a very, very
valid point. And I think we have entered obviously, a new era with
all of this technology of that, you know, gives us access, but I
think we have to stick to our principles. It's just not really,
it's not healthy, like, I, I've visited people's homes, and
because of like, Hamdulillah, these teachings kind of being
ingrained. I've left and I don't know anything about that person's
private home, like, I don't know, the decorations, I won't remember.
But then I know, people were like, over there, that painting or that
their curtains were this color? And did you see this? And I was
like, what? You're paying attention to that level of detail.
Like, wow, that's amazing. But you know, I think it's because yes,
we've, we're very insecure. And I think that's where it comes from,
it comes from insecurity, you know, when you go to people's
homes with an agenda, try to find out details about their private
life or just even to know, what do they have, what are they don't
have, that's, that reeks of insecurity. But if you're there to
genuinely meet people, and you want to see them, then you're
focusing on them and connection, not their belongings, write their
possessions. So I think, you know, it's all symptomatic of the world
we live in, which is people have forgotten character as being, you
know, a prime or, you know, as being
a,
what they should focus on, so that that speaks of who you are. And
it's more about what you have, right? So your possessions, your
accomplishments, your titles,
how big your home is, how, how many children you have, and how
good looking they are, your trophy wife or husband starts to shape
your value. Right? Because in this society, that's how people are
treated or judged. And I think that there's some truth to, to
that, the more we've
drifted away from really prioritizing character and, and
faith and these beautiful virtues, we do, I think, look to people's
other assets or, you know, things to in order to kind of suss them
out, you know,
but that's not how it should be. It should really be that those
things are immaterial, anybody can have those things, but it's the
heart. That's the most prized possession, right? So somehow.
Right, because it's been normalized. And that's why
normalization is so dangerous, you know, because if you're, you know,
the company you keep or the, what you allow to influence, you will
shape your perspective, right? So if you adopt the mentality that
Oh, everybody else is doing it, then you're foregoing your own set
of principles and values, we don't look to what's normalized, or what
the status quo is doing or what the majority is doing. We look to
is it halal, or haram? Is it wrong? Is there a potential danger
to it? That's our criteria, but you have to be rationalizing and
thinking on a higher level to do that. Most people I think most of
us have fallen into an automatic pilot way of existing you know,
we're on
you know, we're just barely doing the bare minimum we're coasting or
you know,
Going from work to home life. And it's just like, keeping up with
the Joneses becomes, you know, the way that we operate. Like, what's
everyone else doing? Because I don't want to be ostracized right
from groups, I want to be included. I want to keep my social
circle. So everybody's doing this, and I have to participate in that
too. You know, like, for example, a common trend that I think we may
have noticed in recent years is just these, the way that we
celebrate milestones in life, right? Look at how much spending
goes into our weddings, our birthdays, graduations, right?
There's baby showers now, you know, bridal showers. There's a
excuse to party for everything. But it's all about what is it
really about bringing the hearts together? Or is it about showing
right off and letting people know that you too, can put on a really
good party, you know, you too, can entertain, like, you know, and
you're kind of whose party is the party of the of the year, you
know,
and it's just this whole competition, this competitive
culture that I think we've created, in order to present
ourselves as having worth. And I think that's a very dangerous
precedent. Because, again, we're moving away from what our Dean
prioritizes which is your character, your heart? How, you
know, mindful you are of all those parts that are how you uplift
people, you know, and I think that's why also,
I don't know, I find it, like, the more we have acquired all these
things, and the more we have connection, you know, through
social media, ironically, we have less really strong relationships,
right? A lot of people complain that they can't have, they don't
have trusted friends anymore, or they've lost friends, because you
know, they have a fallout. So there are circles are actually
getting smaller. Like with real trust, you know, someone that you
can, like,
you know, and trust your life to your soul. Your secrets, you know,
like, how many of us really have those kinds of people in our
lives? It's very difficult nowadays. So you might have
1000 friends on your social media. But how many of them would really
could you turn to as true companions, true people that have
your back, you know, that wouldn't throw you under the bus? Because
I've seen it. I mean, I know many, for example, I think one of the
most horrific realities of our time, and I've had friends go
through this. When a sister for example, if a marriage doesn't
last, right, I know many friends who they lost friends because of
the divorce.
Like people just turn their back on you. So you're like, Okay, I
lost my relationship. You have no idea. You know about the details
of that. But suddenly, I'm not worthy of your friendship anymore.
Because the status of my marriage is different now. So you that you
a lot of sisters say they begin to be ostracized. They're no longer
invited. They're judged. Their their spouses will even tell them
you know, don't hang out with her. She's divorced. I've heard that
many times. And that's why you know, if you see like Cena, Sister
Cena, who heads will see like connections or an idea to a
program several months ago on, you know, just the aftermath of
divorce and how difficult it can be. So that's the kind of friends
we have. Like, I don't want a friend like that. Who in my like
fairweather friends, they want to come to your celebrate
celebrations. But when you're going through hardships, the
presumption is that you're the, you know, the problem based on
what based on you know, your own diseases and your own, you know,
sewer then but not any anything. True. So I think my point is, is
our friendships are so superficial, they're not real.
Which is ironic, because you think with all the connecting, we're
doing all the meetings, we're doing all the social networking
we're doing, we would have more, you know, friendships or
meaningful relationships, but the quality matters. So yeah, if it's
superficial, then you're likely going to have super official
friendships. So we shouldn't collect people, we should look to
people who are really genuinely, you know, good companions in this
life and who we feel are looking out for us. And those people
aren't always going to have the maybe,
you know, they're not always going to compliment you. They're not
always going to tell you what you want to hear. But they will be
truthful, right, I would take over. I would take a friend who's
truthful with me and tells me like what I need to hear, even if it's
bitter, as opposed to someone who's just, you know, faking it.
platitudes, complimenting, superficial, that's not genuine
companionship, you know. So I think
it's a it's an unfortunate reality of our time, but this particular
diseases so revealing, because we need to first and foremost, always
look inwardly, like how much of these behaviors are we
contributing, you know, how much of these, you know, disease
Is is are we propagating? Because of our, we're participating,
right? We're culpable. Unless we, like social media is the easiest
thing. If you're on social media, and you just start there, to peer
into people's lives, you don't even post anything. You need to
really get off social media. If you're not actively on there
trying to do something like at least even benefiting people, like
let's say you do follow really good people, like scholars and
teachers, okay, then use it to benefit people, right? Share those
things. But if it's like, because there's like people who have these
accounts, and you have a profile picture, nothing, fake name, and
they only use it to go and spy on other people. That's horrendous.
That's like, so unacceptable. To me. That's just really wrong on so
many of them are multiple. Yeah,
exactly. What would they call the Finster, right? The fake Instagram
account actually have names for it. And a lot of the youth, you
know, they know these things, because that's how they get away
with things from their parents. But adults do it too. You'd be
surprised.
And it's just a very dangerous thing to do for your heart. So
envy again, like most people, when they hear of it, it's we tend to,
and I mentioned this, I think last time, too, but it's true of all
the diseases. When we read them or read the descriptions or hear the
descriptions, our mind usually goes to other people, right?
Because that's the delusion of the neffs. And so we're always like,
Oh, he had that person. I know she has so much envy. It's like, Wait,
did you hold the mirror up to yourself? Because you might be
surprised that so how long these things apply to you, as well. So
I'll read the next there's just a couple paragraphs left. And this
is
a blessing. The Atma is something that God bestows one of God's
names is a name, the Bestower of blessing, the story of blessing.
Envy, then is to desire that a person lose whatever blessing God
has given him or her. It is tantamount to saying that God
should not have given this person a blessing, or worse yet that he
was wrong to do so, because I deserve it more. As the Imam says
it may reach the point that an interviewer would himself remove
the blessing if you were able to do so through some kind of ruse.
However, what is perceived as a blessing could be based on a
completely false notion, as one may desire something that in
reality is nothing but trouble in difficulty. Conversely, there
should be excuse me, there could be a blessing hidden in something
difficult. There is a well known story about a smithy, the famous
Arabic philologist and compiler of poetry, when he once came upon a
Bedouin and was invited to enter his tent. In Bedouin culture, the
women serve guests in the presence of their husbands. This Bedouin
had a very beautiful wife, though he himself was quite unattractive.
When the men went out to prepare a lamb for a meal, the guests
couldn't resist saying to this woman, How did such a beautiful
woman like you marry such an ugly man like that? The woman said,
Fear God, perhaps he had done good works accepted by his Lord, and I
am his reward. God is all wise in what he gives to people. If one
questions the blessing of a person has received that he or she is
actually questioning the giver. This makes envy reprehensible and
forbidden.
So again, it's a powerful reminder that when we have envy, we're
actually calling into question the distribution system of Allah
subhanaw taala. Presuming that the one who's received it doesn't
deserve it, and I deserve it. So it's very dangerous on so many
levels, because it's, again, accusatory in the worst way
possible. And we should always have the best opinion of Allah's
Papa and also realize that things aren't always as they appear.
Right? Many people present themselves as though everything is
great. And it's usually to mask the reality that things are
miserable, right? Because they don't, you know, they're
compensating. So it's like, they feel like everything, you know, in
some cases, and I have known people who've admitted this, that
when things aren't going well in their lives, they'll put those
messages out there because they feel exposed, you know, so it's
kind of like a way of supporting or projecting their insecurity in
that way of No, no, everything's fine. So they'll put up like a
picture of it, let's say their relationship is not in a good
place. Suddenly, you see all these pictures of, you know, their past,
you know, 10 years ago, my love, you know, did this for me, and
it's like, why would it so random, right? But usually, it's coming
from a place of deep insecurity
projected in that way, so things aren't always as they see assume.
I mean, seem we should just know that the human nature is to
sometimes cover things by doing things like that. So humbler this
chapter is quite
long but I don't think we're gonna be able to finish it. Today we're
gonna have to do a part two. So I can read, there's Yes, we can read
a little bit more the treatment because the treatment is
important. So I'll read another section and then we can stop and
take any questions or comments from you guys are shallow. So, as
for the cure, it is to act contrary to one's Caprice, for
example, being beneficent to a person when it seems appealing to
harm him, or praising him when you desire to find faults in him.
Also, the cure is a knowing that envy only harms the envier it
causes him to be grievously, grievously preoccupied with his
object of envy today, and tomorrow he is thereby punished. Moreover,
envy never benefits the envier nor does it remove from the one envied
the blessing he has been given. So the treatment, motherly disrupt
prescribes two cures for envy. The first is to consciously act in
opposition to one's Caprice. The Arabic term here for Caprice.
helot, is derived from the Arabic word that means to fall, it is
also related to the Arabic word for wind. one's passion is like
the wind in that it comes, stirs up emotion and then dies down. One
cannot really see it only its effect. More often than not
following one's whims takes a person away from the truth. The
history of humanity is replete with false notions that have come
and gone. The truth however, is something that is fixed and that
can be recognized as such, if one is truly objective, as for
Caprice, it has no foundation. For this reason a Mahmoud says one
must resist his Caprice. The Quran repeatedly warns against following
once Caprice it speaks of bygone communities who grew arrogant when
God's messengers came to them with admonitions and teachings that did
not agree with their souls Caprice. So they rejected the
message and even killed the messengers, as mentioned in
chapter five or 70. Also God praises those who resist the
caprices of their souls and promise them paradise and chapter
7941 of the names of * mentioned in the Quran is heavier.
And chapter 101, verse nine, which is derived from the same root as
however, perhaps the connection is that a person enslaved to his
whims descends into the depths of depravity in this life and as a
consequence, he faces perdition in the hereafter. As a remedy to to
the type of envy that prods want to bring about harm to another
person in my mode would suggest that one contradict his
temptation, that is do something that will benefit the person who
has envy. For example, give that person a gift or do a favor. This
defies the commands of one's wins gains the pleasure of God and
protects against envy. The man suggests also the one may praise
the person toward one whom, toward whom one feels the urge to
slander, there is no hypocrisy in this recommendation, the purpose
is to starve envy, of the negative thoughts it requires to thrive,
being beneficent to a person against whom one feels envy often
makes that person inclined towards the envier. In general, good
people are inclined to love those who show them good. So I'd have
the ladders, other treatments, but I think this is a good place to
stop. And also just to think about, when we're struggling
with emotions toward a person that we may have envy toward.
Again, it's important to realize the nature of the knifes that, you
know, these things
are, that are knifes. As you know,
there's a sign I'm trying to remember the exact quote, but
there's, you know, Chef Hamza, for example, he mentioned that there's
four, what he calls the four axis of evil, right, there's four evils
in the world, which are the neffs, shaitan, Hawa and dunya, the
material world. And so to realize that all of these are, you know,
obviously working against us and they're opposition's to what we
should aspire, which is inshallah to be the best versions of
ourselves. So when you start to realize that, you know, your
current circumstance, whatever it is that you're lacking or not
lacking, or that you want, that it's you know, it's it's all in
material at the end of the day, because it's part of this dunya
This is a low place, and maybe you want it now but you know, Is it
really something that's going to benefit you in the long run? In
other words, just kind of having that perspective to not hold on to
things it to such a degree that they compromise your state with
Allah right to kind of rationalize your emotional states when you see
people have certain blessings that you know what? Sure, you know,
that sounds good. Like if you for example, have a car that's not
really working well.
And you hear someone in your family got a brand new car, again,
you know, it sounds good, you know to it when you hear of another
person's blessing that you would want that, but then you have to
think about while they're probably paying, you know, extra payments,
so it might be a burden, right. Whereas my current, I'm done, it's
old, but at least it gets me where I go. So you start to kind of just
magnify the blessings you have, and minimize these things that
just come and go, because it's going to be this car today. But
maybe later, it'll be something else. And you kind of start to see
the, the frivolity of it all like, right, this is just the nature of
the human being, we're never really satisfied with anything,
we're always going through these, you know, ebbs and flows of life
and wanting this and wanting that. But we're, we're, we're, we have,
we should always like, you know, redirect and reorient our hearts
to what really matters, which is almost pocket. So kind of, again,
coming out of these emotional states and seeing that we are
always, you know, being affected or prodded by either IBLEES our
own nerves, however, dunya, like, these forces are always in a way
attacking us and not to fall prey, you know, to see the trappings as
they are to kind of rise above it and just say, the system, yeah,
it's all temporary, what does it matter at the end of the day, when
nothing really lasts? Right? If you really think about whatever
blessing you have, I think that's one of the reasons why. I mean,
even, you know, I've talked to children who kind of can
rationalize this as well, like, the studio? Well, part of the,
the,
what we sometimes forget is that it's temporal, nothing is lasting
here. Right? So we invest all this time, all this energy, but this
pilot look and take away something within a second. And there's many
stories like this, you know, people losing their entire
livelihood, their homes, through a house fire a flood, right. We saw
it recently with the floods that were happening in Southern
California entire, you know, neighborhoods devastated by
torrential rain or something else. So that's the nature of dunya is
that it's not going to last you. So even if if you have something
or you don't have something not to give it so much weight and
importance, that it actually, again, compromises your fate. So
that's one way to really just have a clear understanding of this
world and its temporality, and then to prioritize the next world.
And then the other is when you're dealing with individuals or
someone to fight the negative thoughts, you know, and to
actually force yourself like, let's say, and all, I think,
because we're mostly, I mean, we're women, and like the people
watching are mostly women, this is something that our world and then
sometimes our cultures, we see other women sometimes as threats
to us, right? So if a if a beautiful woman were to enter a
space, and she is decked out from head to toe, right, every single
woman who's looking at her will immediately feel very insecure in
herself, right? Well, I'll look at her, because she's beautiful. I
was given her gym, and she's maybe dressed beautifully, she carries
herself a certain way. And so, in that moment, the has said, or
this, these feelings may come up, right, where you just want to find
fault in her. And I and I've been in situations where I've seen
people actually start, you know, saying things out loud, because
they can't deal with, with the feelings that are coming up for
them. So they have to make some comments, like, oh, who does she
think she has? Or, or and I'll look at her. So these are all
reflections of this disease. But, you know, an example of this is
when you see someone who enters a space like that, instead of
immediately making it about you and feeling insecure compared to
her. Just see that person as you know, she's from Allah, like,
Allah created her in her beauty, right? And force yourself to
recognize the One who created or the fashion or of that person,
right, because she didn't obviously make herself, right. I
mean, yes, nowadays with plastic surgery. that's arguable. But you
know, Allah is the one who designed her who fashions or who
created her made her so you can just stop for a moment and say my
shot was about UCLA gave her gym ad. Now does that mean she's
perfect, though she likely has other issues. We're all deficient.
In some ways, we have, you know, shortcomings and we also have
blessings. But the point is, is to fight the urge to try to find some
flaw in her or anyone, like when you go somewhere and let's say
your claim to fame is that you cook very well. You know, you were
invited to someone and maybe the dish that you always get credit
for someone else comes in their dishes more delicious. And
everybody's like, Oh, wow, this is the best, you know, whatever.
Brioni or, you know, cake or whatever it is that you bake or
make if the compliments are going into that person instead of
feeling threatened, right? To just be like Alhamdulillah you know,
Allah has given her that skill good for her to truly mean it like
I'm happy
that you are successful and not to make it about you that knifes Enos
that takes other people's blessings and personalizes it and
makes it about you is something that we should feel gross about,
like there's this is something we shouldn't we should detest and we
should want to purge. And the way you do that is by recognizing the
the, and directing the praise not to the individual, but to the one
who enabled them with that, you know, which is back to Allah
subhanaw taala. So, that's where the compliment mashallah
sabbatical lot, you know, it's very good, you look very
beautiful, these types of compliments that we can bring out
are really Insha Allah, they should come from a heart that
wants to remove these feelings. Because if you are fighting these
thoughts, and you don't fall under the description of someone who has
envy, it's the one who not only does it with impunity with the
kind of thinking of it and
and, you know, makes everything as I said about themselves it really
has this disease, but fighting these thoughts and really working
against the self is how we shall approach so I think these are this
is a good place to stop it make any comments or questions and shot
law we have about
about 10 minutes or so. Got it? So possessiveness, yes possessive. So
the question was about feeling maybe, maybe possessive towards,
you know, someone where you covet them, you want them for yourself,
you're maybe even feel threatened if someone else comes into the
picture. I mean, obviously every relationship, especially the
closer we are to people, we may feel those things, but I think
when we
you know, always proud that a tells us two things that come to
mind.
First is
stuff Allah, sorry, I'm forgetting my my, my verses right now, my
Hadith, but, but one of them is that when we are
sorry that in Ceccato, as either nicob So when you are grateful,
right for something that always want to increase you in that
blessing. So your gratitude, you know, for the blessing should
should, should emerge in those situations instead of feeling
threatened, right. Because if you're grateful for the blessing,
then you want to pay it forward, you want to share you want people
to benefit, right. So if you have a really great friend, and they've
been, you know, good to you, and you feel like they're such a
blessing, then show your gratitude by just protecting it, but also
wanting not to covet it for just yourself, right? Because some
people have that ability. I mean, I have my shop, beautiful people,
even teachers that I feel like I want the world to know about
right? Because they've benefited me so much. So it's kind of like
it's a way of expressing your gratitude to all of us find that
and then you'll find that when you have that it's the scarcity
mindset, right? Versus the the growth mindset that when you have
the mindset that I was planted that is so generous and kind of
given me this great friend and humbled I don't feel threatened by
it because someone else's into the picture, and you have that type of
uh, I think attitude, then you'll find that your relationship, I
think is strengthened by that, right? But when we start to become
possessive and jealous, and we play these little mind games, I
feel like there's an insecurity there. And we should be like,
Look, what what is inspired what what what is inspiring that
insecurity is it that I feel I'm not like that someone else can
replace me, right, and maybe this friend that's so special is going
to suddenly be swept away by someone else. And if that's the
case, and you want to work on maybe being the best friend that
you can to that person so that you are replaceable, right, that they
would never feel that way about you. So I think you know, there's
a few different ways to approach it. But most importantly, is to
remember, Allah gave the friend to you, and if you want to hold on to
that relationship, and the best thing to do, like with any
blessing is just to be very grateful for it. Because the more
we're grateful for the blessings of Allah Subhana Allah, the more
he secures those blessings and increases of blessings, and not to
just start to draw lines. And I've seen I personally, in my
relationships, I've always told my friends like, that's actually a
sure we're sure fire way to, to negatively affect the relationship
is if you start to become too possessive, because I feel like we
it just complicates things and it it becomes.
I mean, there's a fine line, obviously, where people really are
very committed and they love and that's just their expression of
love. But when it becomes emotionally enmeshed to the point
where it's now it's an unhealthy attachment, then I think it's it
just doesn't go very well right? Because then there's expectations
and now it's like, Oh, you went to this and I did wasn't invited and
there's jealousy and there's competition. So I don't feel like
those are good emotions that we should romanticize, you know,
between whether it's couples or friends in general, like the
possessiveness, I think it's not a healthy thing. We can certainly
be loyal and have Fidel
Quality and love and all of our relationships, but there should
always be a very
clear boundary. Because, to be honest, this world is a difficult
place. And I've seen people lose themselves, you know, because they
were too attached. So in every relationship, you should have a
very a healthy distance, you know, so, I know it's a long answer to
your question, but, you know, because I feel like these notions
are sometimes over romanticized. You know, like, oh, you know, this
is my best friend. And it's like, you know, we're not in high
school, that's mature, let's grow up and, and look at people as just
like the prophesy said, he had his companions, and everyone knew, you
know, who they were, there's that one Hadith I forget, which is The
Hobbit was but he was a because the both of them had the ability
to make everyone feel very special and close to him. And so one of
the Sahaba asked him, like, who's your favorite person? And he
mentions like, setting up a bucket, he goes through all these
people, and like, by number five or six, he's still not mentioned.
It will give them good, because he realized, like, this is hurting me
now. Right? So sometimes wanting to be number one, or you know, in
someone's world, especially if they have like that magnanimous
personality type are very loving, is it might just, I think it's a,
it's not necessary, rather, you see them has been,
you know, signs of God, you know, especially if they're very good
people and want that everybody benefit from them and shallow, and
then just do your part to be a very good friend and a loyal
friend to them, and Shahla, you, you'll never lose them. No, it's
absolutely on point. And, you know, as you mentioned, Allah's
father is the one who distributes, He's the source of all blessings.
So he knows what we all need, at the time of our, you know,
whatever time we're in, and maybe, at, you know, different intervals
in our lives, or different periods of our lives, we may feel
abundance, other times, things may be withheld from us. But it's all
in sha Allah for our betterment. And if we can accept that, and
then understand that every other person has the same experience,
then we stop fixating on the particulars and just see that
everyone's being tested. And that's why, you know, that famous
story of an alpha, and his teacher, Chef, a war vessel mercy,
where he talks to him about, you know, just the burden of the
dunya, that he can't deal with it. And then he tells him, I'll tell
you something, and if you understand it, you will, it'll
help you. And he goes on to explain to him that all people are
being tested every single person. And there's four different states
that human beings fall under, right. So the first is that
they're in blessing. And if they're in blessing, then their
test is that they have to have gratitude that almost father's
looking to see whether or not they're being grateful. But that
is a test for them. So a person could be filthy rich, and have all
these great things. But we could perceive it like oh, they have it.
It's so easy, right? And that's where envy comes from. It's like,
oh, they have it's so easy. I don't have those things. But
they're actually being tested wealth is a huge Amana. And it's a
burden in many ways, right? So that's your first day. And then
the second is that you are in tribulation, right? That you have
problems. It could be in your health, it could be in your
relationships, it could be in your work, it could be in your home, it
could be wherever. But if you're being tested in a, with a
tribulation, a real difficulty, that's not in your faith, right?
It's in the world, it's in a worldly sense, then your test is
that you have patients that you have several genuine, beautiful
patients. And it is your test, right? So you're on your path to
Allah, the person in blessing is on their path to Allah. But
everybody's being tested simultaneously. And then the two
remainder are that you're either in guidance dire, or you're in
Miss guidance. And those two also have tests if you're in guidance,
like have the our Muslim, we're we're being guided, but we're
being tested as well in the guidance. And the test is, do you
have the humility, to know right, that your guidance is from God,
and to not fall into that self righteousness where you think like
you're better than people, right? The superiority mindset that a lot
of believers can fall into, that your guidance is, is and whatever
things that you've been able to accomplish or achieve your
knowledge, whatever you've done is directly from ALLAH SubhanA. It's
not from you. It's not because of your efforts that you are at a
certain level of purity or righteousness. So that's, you
know, the third and then the fourth is misguidance. And the
test is to make Toba and to repent that you know, for yourself of the
sin sinfulness and that you return to Allah. So the point of this is
to, is to say that in order to fight these diseases is that you
start to have that, you know, zoom out, look at the world as a place
of tests and tribulation were all of God's creation have their
journey to him, and then the details of other people, which is
why we're taught or told to mind her own business.
have become inconsequential because it doesn't matter what
they have or what they don't have, I'd have to think about me, I am
going to just as I was brought into this world by myself, I will
be returned to the grave by myself, I will be risen on the day
of judgment by myself, I have to be worried about me. So the
preoccupation and the distraction of what other people have and
don't have this from Shaytaan, it's from knifes, it's all to
throw you off the path, so that you fail. And that's why we have
to reject that, right. So going back to those four sources of
evil, just start to see that it's all so you know, it's baseless,
I'm giving weight to things that don't matter at the end of the
day, like a person's, as I said, their bank account, their house,
their beauty, their lineage, all those things that we are like, Oh,
at the end of the day, they're gonna end up in the same
predicament that we all are same predicament, we're gonna die,
we're going to leave this material world. And we will rise to stand
before our last father. And it's about where we get our account in
our right hand or left hand, and the rest will know that's the most
important thing and to not
magnify these minutiae of dunya that are designed to, as I said,
throw us off our path. So, there's a lot more to be said, but just
like your luck, just have a look at it to all of you Inshallah,
we'll continue after that one minute to spare. We'll continue
this discussion on envy because there is more about the treatments
that end and some of the ways envy manifests and also leads to other
diseases that we should know about. Because it is a big one in
our time. So what I'm doing the I inshallah Bismillah R Rahman Rahim
Allah Azza inulin Santa Fe, De La La Nina ma y mira Salah headwaters
will happy with the rest of the sub Subhana Allah will be happy to
share them and their philosophical ability to relate Aloha instead of
a senemo Baddeck i Let's say that our Mowlana Where have you been on
Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, while at the sacking of
cylindricity Monica Theodora? Subhanallah bicker Abdullah is at
VMI you see * was salam ala l Mursaleen. 100 in there, how
does that work? Thank you everyone inshallah.