Hosai Mojaddidi – Muslim Parents Please DonT Lose Hope On Your Teen
AI: Summary ©
The speaker discusses the importance of parenting and open communication in shaping children to be more empathetic and respectful. They emphasize the need to reset parenting relationships and allow for more open communication to allow for a better understanding of parents' views of children. The speaker also mentions the importance of parenting for children to be more empathetic and respectful.
AI: Summary ©
I just wanted to make a point, though,
about the family that does feel like, uh
-oh, is it too late for my family?
Because sometimes, you know, parents may not have
been doing a lot of these things in
the beginning with their children, but at some
point, you know, reality hits and they realize,
I have to catch up on my parenting.
Is all hope lost?
No.
And if you find yourself in a situation
where you haven't been really teaching your children,
Dean, and a lot of these things are
kind of now coming to the surface and
you want to reestablish your relationship with your
children, I think having really open, honest communication
is the key.
As we've talked about throughout the panel, speaking
from your own perspective and vulnerability and actually
admitting your own shortcomings and your own failings
is a wonderful, amazing way for you to
connect with your teens.
And I can say that as someone who
works a lot with teens.
And one of the issues that is very
common in our communities and in our community
and many of our cultures is this idea
that parents never show weakness to their children.
And they are always, they don't even apologize
in some cases.
I mean, I've spoken with parents and teens
where the teen will tell me, with the
parents standing there, that my parents never apologize
for anything, even when they make mistakes.
And this is a really big problem in
our community.
We have to get over this sort of
ego, very self-centered type of parenting.
We are all in the same boat.
Our children are really, I think, I mean,
Allah knows, but throughout history, I feel like
the issues that they deal with are unprecedented.
We really got the easy path.
I'm so grateful that I'm not a teen.
I really am.
When I hear what they go through and
I see what they're up against, I'm like,
ya Allah, thank you for saving me from
the insanity that our poor children have inherited.
So we have to be more empathic, more
sympathetic to what they're going through.
And the only way that we can receive
or that we can have more open communication
is for us to kind of be humble
a little bit, bring ourselves down, admit that,
you know what, I didn't do, my priorities
were maybe off the first 5, 6, 7,
10 years, 15 years of your life.
I'm sorry, I was career-oriented.
I had this going on, that going on,
and maybe I didn't give you the attention
that you deserve.
Maybe I wasn't interested in what you were
doing.
I'm so sorry if I felt, if I,
because of my distractions or my other, you
know, lack of maybe focus, I didn't make
you feel important enough.
But I want to redo that.
Can I reset that, please?
Let, you know, and start from that place
of owning what you didn't do that should
have been done as a parent.
And then asking for a renewal of your
relationship.
I feel like children would probably really much
more respect you and actually really see you
in a different light if we were to
do that more as parents, as opposed to
letting the distance continue.
And, you know, just the relationship, because a
lot of parents feel like, well, there's nothing
I can do.
The doors are slamming in my face.
You know, I've lost my child and it's
my fault.
And they kind of think, hope, you know,
there's no hope.
No, that's from Shaytan.
It's waswasa.
There's always hope with Allah.
We are not a religion of despair.
We're a religion of hope.
And sometimes it does come down to something
so basic as you apologizing and saying, I
am sorry.
I'm not perfect.
I'm human.
I failed.
But I love you enough to want to
have a redo.
Please join me in this.
And just from there, inshallah.