Hatem al-Haj – ADB015 Al-Adab Al-Mufrad – Chapter A person who makes supplication that his friend will have a lot
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In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious,
the Most Merciful, and the Messenger of Allah
and his family and companions, I am about
to proceed.
So, we will start at chapter number 48
and the hadith number 88.
Imam Bukhari, may Allah have mercy on him,
said in his book, Al-Adhab Al-Mufrad,
Chapter, A Person Who Makes Supplication That His
Friend Will Have Abundance, Abundance of Wealth and
Offspring.
This is Thabit Al-Bunani, the student of
Anas Ibn Mark.
Chapter, A Person Who Makes Supplication That His
Friend Will Have Abundance, Abundance of Wealth
and Offspring.
This hadith is agreed upon, by the way.
So, Imam Bukhari, may Allah have mercy on
him, said, this is hadith number 88.
He reported from Anas, may Allah be pleased
with him, the servant of the Prophet, peace
be upon him.
Anas said, I once entered upon the Prophet,
peace be upon him, and it was only
myself, my mother, and my aunt.
There is no halwa here, because you have
two women and a child, or a teenager,
maybe, possibly.
He entered upon us and said, shall I
lead you in prayer?
Despite it not being a time for obligatory
prayer.
A man from the group said, that's basically
people who are listening to this, where did
he place Anas in the prayer?
He replied, he placed him to his right.
Then he led us in prayer, and afterward
he made supplication for us, the members of
the household, for every goodness in this world
and the hereafter.
My mother said, oh messenger of Allah, your
little servant, ask Allah for him.
So he prayed for me, asking for every
goodness, and at the end of his supplication,
he said, oh Allah, increase his wealth and
his children, and grant him your blessings.
Grant him your blessings.
Okay, so this is a hadith full of
benefits.
We could spend the rest of the day
talking about the benefits of this hadith, but
why is it here?
I would say it's here for many reasons.
What are we talking about?
What is the theme of these chapters?
We're talking about taking care of your children.
Taking care of your children, and the reward,
and basically virtue of taking care of your
children.
And here, it talks about the Prophet Sallallahu
Alaihi Wasallam, how he used to be a
caretaker.
How he used to be a caretaker.
And this is important for any da'i
in general.
You have to be connected to your students,
to your community, to your congregation, at a
personal level.
And you see how the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi
Wasallam would visit them, and also offer to
lead them in prayer, and to pray for
them.
And after he led them in prayer, he
prayed for them, and he prayed for every
goodness in this life and the hereafter for
them.
So it's about being a caretaker in general,
and being compassionate in general.
And then it's also about her concern for
her child.
Because after he made a lengthy du'a
for the household, she singled out Anas.
She said, khuwaydimuk, your little servant.
Khuwaydim is a diminutive form from qadim.
Qadim is servant.
Khuwaydim means your little servant.
Anas ibn Malik was the servant of the
Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam since he was 10
years old.
And he served him for 10 years.
And when the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam died,
he was 20 years old, because the Prophet
spent 10 years in Medina.
And he was 10 when he arrived, and
he was 20 when the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi
Wasallam died.
So then she singled out Anas.
And this shows how she's not asking the
Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam to make du'a
for her, or for her husband, or for
anyone.
Because he made du'a for everyone.
He made du'a for the entire household.
But she wants extra for her son, for
her child.
So, O Messenger of Allah, your little servant,
ask Allah for him.
So he prayed for me, asking for every
goodness.
And at the end of his supplication, he
said, O Allah, increase his wealth and his
children, and grant him your blessings.
So, increase his wealth.
Many people would say, is wealth a good
thing?
Yes, it is a good thing.
And otherwise, the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam would
not be making special du'a for Anas
ibn Malik.
Increase his wealth.
How good is good money for a good
person?
So, what about all of the reports about
Zuhd, and all of the reports about the
fitna of money, and the trial that comes
with money, or trials that come with money?
Certainly, some people are not meant to be
wealthy, and wealth for them would cause them
fitna and trials, and may cause them distraction.
But in general, wealth is a good thing.
Allah called it khair in the Quran.
And in Islam in general, you will find
different reports that have different purports, or different
meanings, or different indications.
And it is all about reconciling.
It's all about reconciling.
And the whole thing is how to reconcile
between the different reports.
So, many people would cite one side and
neglect the other side.
Many people will try to bring them together.
This is called synthesis in general.
You know, you have the thesis, you have
the antithesis.
Money is good, it's a fitna.
Money is bad, it's a fitna.
Zuhd is good, run away from money.
It will basically distract you.
It will take control of your heart.
Money is good.
You hear people say this, money is good,
and Muslims need power.
You hear people say this, you hear people
say that.
And this is not limited to this issue.
This is basically in almost 90% of
the matters that the deen addresses.
There is a synthesis.
There is the thesis, the antithesis, and then
there is the synthesis.
And the synthesis would require bringing the reports
together.
Bringing, you know, the statements of the salaf
together.
And someone who is wise and intelligent, and
has knowledge, and has tawfiq from Allah subhanahu
wa ta'ala doing the synthesis.
This jama'ah.
Jama'ah for us is the other word
for synthesis.
And wise people, wise nations, are all about
synthesis.
They don't swing like a pendulum from the
thesis to the antithesis, back to the thesis,
to the antithesis.
Wiser nations, wiser people, they are able to
come to a synthesis and stop swinging between
the theses and antitheses.
Okay, now to reconcile, and this is my
quick attempt at reconciling because this should take,
you know, a long time to reconcile because
it's an important concept.
The reconciliation or the jama'ah of these
reports in this particular regard would be, one,
to not be one of those people that
Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala mentioned in the
Quran when he said, فَأَمَّا الْإِنسَانُ إِذَا مَا
ابْتَلَاهُ رَبُّهُ فَأَكْرَمَهُ وَنَعَمَ فَيَقُولُ رَبِّي أَكْرَمًا وَأَمَّا
إِذَا مَا ابْتَلَاهُ فَقَدَرَ عَلَيْهِ رِزْقًا فَيَقُولُ رَبِّي
أَهَانًا Okay, this is a matter of, at
the level of conception.
At the level of conception, these people that
Allah basically dispraised in the Quran, they ask
for man when his Lord tries him with
good, فَأَمَّا إِذَا مَا ابْتَلَاهُ رَبُّهُ فَأَكْرَمَهُ Generosity
and blessings, favors.
He says, my Lord has honored me.
وَأَمَّا إِذَا مَا ابْتَلَاهُ But when his Lord
tries him, keep in mind, Allah is saying,
tries, tries.
It's basically, both are the same thing.
It's trials, so you're being tested, either by
abundance or poverty.
So, وَأَمَّا إِذَا مَا ابْتَلَاهُ فَاقَدَرَ عَلَيْهِ رِزْقًا
So if he restricted his provisions, then he
will say, my Lord humiliated me.
That's the first thing, you should not be
one of those people.
Why did the Prophet ﷺ had a very
austere life?
So that no one after that would say
that abundance is a definitive sign of God's
pleasure.
You know, God is pleased with you, so
God has provided for you.
God has made you wealthy because he is
pleased with you.
Had it been this way, the wealthiest of
all mankind would have been his final and
greatest messenger ﷺ.
But that was not the case.
Therefore, that is not an indication.
The second is how to acquire it.
وَإِنَّ رُوحَ الْقُدُسِ كَدْ نَفَثَ فِي رُوعِ أَنَّهُ
لَن تَمُوتَ نَفْسٌ حَتَّى تَسْتَكْمِلَ أَجَلَهَا وَتَسْتَوَعِبَ رِزْقَهَا
فَاتَّقُوا اللَّهَ وَأَجْمِلُوا فِي الطَّلَبِ فَإِنَّمَا عِنْدَ اللَّهِ
لَا يُدْرَكُ بِمَعْصِيَتِهِ In that, the Holy Spirit
had breathed into my bosom that no soul
will die until it completes its lifespan, its
designated, pre-decreed lifespan, and earns all of
the provisions meant for it.
فَاتَّقُوا اللَّهَ وَأَجْمِلُوا فِي الطَّلَبِ Seek it appropriately.
Seek your provisions beautifully, appropriately.
وَلَا يَحْمِلَنَّكُمْ اصْتَبْتَعَ الرِّزْقَ عَنْ تَطْلُبُهُمْ بِمْعَصِيَةِ
اللَّهِ And do not allow the slowness of
the arrival of provisions.
Do not allow this to make you seek
it, pursue it, from haram.
For that which is with Allah cannot be
attained through disobedience.
And that which is Allah is good money
because the green papers are attained sometimes through
disobedience.
But the good wealth that will bring about
benefit to you here and there in this
life and the one to come cannot be
attained through disobedience.
You could get the green papers, but you
will not.
They're still green, right?
Okay.
And each of them are red.
So there is a difference between the green
papers and that which the provisions, the wholesome
good provisions that we're talking about.
So that's the second.
First is about conception.
You have to have the right conception about
money.
It's a test like other tests.
Is it good in and of itself?
Yes.
But it is a test.
You're being tested by that which is good.
Second is how to acquire it.
You have to acquire it appropriately, properly.
Third is where the Prophet ﷺ says, لَا
حَسَدَ إِلَّا فِي اثْمَتَيْنِ رَجُلٌ آتَاهُ اللَّهُ مَعَلًا
فَسَلَّطَهُ عَلَىٰ هَلَكَتِهِ فِي الْحَقِّ وَرَجُلٌ آتَاهُ اللَّهُ
الْحِكْمَةُ وَهُوَ يَقْضِي بِهَا وَيُعَلِّمُهَا So there is
no envy except in two things.
A man that was given wealth and abundance
by Allah and Allah made him spend it
in truth, in that which is good.
And a man who was given wisdom, that's
knowledge and wisdom, فَهُوَ يَقْضِي بِهَا So he
uses this in adjudicating between people and teaching
and so on.
So these are the two things where envy
is permissible.
And that is the good envy where you
don't wish for the favor to be taken
away from your brother but you wish to
have it as well.
You wish to have the money so that
you could spend it in that which is
good.
You wish to have the knowledge and wisdom
so that you could benefit yourself and others
of it.
So that's it.
That is just briefly the simple reconciliation.
Money is good, but have the right conception.
It's another test, just like the test of
poverty.
Earn it from that which is halal.
Spend it on that which is good.
And if you do this, then certainly money
is good.
وَنَعِمَ الْمَالَ الصَّالِحَ لَلرَّجُلِ الصَّالِحِ How good is
good money for a good person?
And making a du'a like the du
'a the Prophet ﷺ made for Anas would
be completely understandable.
أَكْثِرْ مَالَهُ وَوَلَدَهُ Increase his wealth and his
children.
Anas ibn Malik then said that I was
among the richest of the Ansar.
And Anas ibn Malik died in Al-Basra
in the year 92 after the Hijra.
Somewhere at the age of 102 or 103.
He was 102 years old or 103 years
old.
And his daughter told him that they buried
120 of his descendants, of his progeny.
120 of his progeny were buried in his
life.
Keep in mind that they had concubines because
four women would not be able to produce
that many.
But anyway, so the idea here is Anas
ibn Malik, the Prophet's du'a for him,
for Anas ibn Malik to have wealth and
to have children is understandable if you have
the right understanding of what wealth is about.
But it is also important to that Muslims
just, mediocrity is a bad thing.
Mediocrity is a bad thing.
Someone just sent me a message, like an
aspiring entrepreneur.
He's not from this country but from the
one up north.
So he sent me a message about, you
know, he's an aspiring entrepreneur.
Should I pursue that or should I focus
on learning?
This is like a recurrent question.
What are your skill sets?
Shouldn't you ask yourself if your skill sets
would basically make one or the other
more suitable for you?
If you're like a bookworm and you have
been given a great understanding and you have
proficiency in alum al-ala and so on.
You're 20 years old, you have proficiency or
21 years old and you have proficiency in
alum al-ala and you have a big
brain that can basically digest all the materials.
That is a skill set that will make
you a good candidate for being a scholar.
If you are 25 years old and you
have a startup company and you seem to
be doing quite well and you are not
really like you read basically a book of
faq and you're having difficulty with it but
you make money very easily, then you have
a different skill set that will make it
more suitable for you to carry on with
your sort of startup company and see if
you can make it bigger and certainly wealth
is power and particularly in our times economic
power is extremely important.
Like if you have money then you can
have as the Prophet ﷺ said لَعَمَلْ مَالَ
الصَّالِحَ لَرَّجُلَ الصَّالِحَ because then you could use
it لَا حَسَدَ إِلَّا فِي اثْنَتَيْنَ It's quite
obvious that the Prophet ﷺ is trying to
basically indicate this to us and Muslims in
general, we have had in our history great
entrepreneurs who were able to do much good
with their financial resources who was able to
finance جَيْشِ الْعُسْرَة عُثْمَان رضي الله عنه مَذَرَّ
عُثْمَان مَا صَرَعَ بَعْدَ الْيَوْمِ Nothing would harm
Uthman after today because he is the one
who financed جَيْشِ الْعُسْرَة How did he finance?
Because he was wealthy, because he is able
to do it Yes, sometimes dinar may beat
100,000 dinars, that is true because the
factor here is sincerity but what if you
have that sincerity like Uthman and you have
the 100,000 dinars or the 1 million
dinars you could do more and in this
case it will be multiplied the sincerity is
there, the devotion is there but certainly it
will be multiplied and that's why مَذَرَّ عُثْمَان
مَا صَرَعَ بَعْدَ الْيَوْمِ So just avoid mediocrity,
you have to figure out your skill sets
and you avoid mediocrity but there will be
a floor a floor, you know, if you
decide to pursue knowledge, Islamic knowledge then you
will have to make sure that there is
financial sustainability ذِكَاءٌ وَحَرْصٌ وَاجْتِهَادٌ وَبُلْغَةٌ وَصُحْبَةُ
أُسْتَاذٍ وَطُولُ زَمَانِ So Imam Shafi'i said
six things that you need to become a
scholar one of them is بُلْغَة, بُلْغَة is
what؟
مَا يَتَبَلَّغْ بِهِ الْإِنسَانِ So that is resources,
financial resources to allow you to buy books
to allow you to dedicate time, to allow
you to journey for the pursuit of knowledge
that is financial stability, so you need to
have that secured and if you decide to
be that entrepreneur and work on your company
you need to have العلم الواجب and العلم
النافع العلم الواجب is to cover your bases
there are three different areas that are important
what do you believe and that is الَّذِينَ
أَمَنُوا عَمِلُوا الصَّالِحَاتِ that is faith and practice
and then there is the interior and exterior
practice so you need to know the fiqh,
you need to know the أَخْلَاقَ الْأَذَابِ that's
for your heart and you need to know
what?
your عقيدة, your faith, what is it that
you believe in and العقيدة is أُمِرُوا فِيهَا
بِالجُّمَلِ دُونَ التَّفَاصِيلِ people were commanded basically to
learn it not in great detail but when
it comes to fiqh when it comes to
أَذَابَ الْأَخْلَاقَ fiqh you need your علم الواجب,
the necessary knowledge so if you're getting married
you need to learn the fiqh of marriage
if you are a تاجر or a merchant
you need to know the fiqh of the
transactions everybody needs to know the fiqh of
salah and if you're going to make hajj
you need to know the fiqh of hajj
and so on so this is the علم
الواجب but when it comes to الأَخْلَاقَ الْأَذَابِ
and the state of the heart then this
is something that basically it nurtures your faith
and it nurtures the heart and the devotion
in the heart so this is something that
you should continue to learn and you should
continue to benefit from the writings in this
particular area so faith you know it's not
that detailed when it comes to creed when
it comes you know I'm talking about faith
as in your relationship with Allah سُبْحَانَهُ وَ
تَعَالَى when it comes to creed, the guidelines,
the guardrails that will protect you from deviation
to know what you know people the Sunnah
of the Jama'ah believe with regards to
القدر with regards to Allah with regards to
the angels and so on and so forth
but then fiqh is a little bit more
detailed and on an ongoing basis you need
to continue to improve your relationship with Allah
and the condition of your heart by learning
more about the scale the scale of the
nafs so that would be your floor if
you decide to take that route so whichever
route you decide to take that would be
based on your skill sets and whichever route
you decide to take you should not neglect
the need for stability the need for stability
in your deen and growth and the need
for financial sustainability so that you could pursue
knowledge if you want to do that next
chapter mothers are merciful حَدَّثَنَا مُسْلِمَ ابْنِ إِبْرَهِيمِ
قَالَ حَدَّثَنَا ابْنِ فَضَالَ قَالَ حَدَّثَنَا بَكْرُ ابْنِ
عَبْدِ اللَّهِ الْمُزَنِيَّ عَنْ أَنَسِ ابْنِ مَالِكِ جَاءَتِ
امْرَأَةِ this is all solid all solid narrators
except Ibn Fadhala he had some issues but
he was saduq anyway يُدَلِّس قَالَ جَاءَتِ امْرَأَةِ
إِلَى عَائِشَةِ رَضِيَ اللَّهُ عَنْهَا the hadith is
sahih the hadith is authentic قَالَ جَاءَتِ امْرَأَةِ
إِلَى عَائِشَةِ رَضِيَ اللَّهُ عَنْهَا فَأَعْطَتْهَا عَائِشَةِ ثَلَاثَ
تَمَرَاتٍ فَأَعْطَتْ كُلَّ صَبِيٍّ لَهَا تَمْرَةٍ وَأَمْسَكَتْ لِنَفْسِهَا
تَمْرَةٍ فَأَكَلَ الصَّبِيَّانِ التَّمْرَتَيْنِ وَنَظَرَ إِلَى أُمِّهِمَا
فَعَمَذَتْ إِلَى التَّمْرَةِ فَشَقَّتْهَا فَأَعْطَتْ كُلَّ صَبِيٍّ نِصْفَ
تَمْرَةٍ وَجَأَ نَبِي صَلَامَ فَأَخْبَرَتْهُ عَائِشَةٍ فَقَالَ وَمَا
يُعْجِبُكِ مِنْ ذَلِكِ لَقَدْ رَحِمَهَا اللَّهَ بِرَحْمَتِهَا صَبِيَّيْهَا
This hadith number 89 Anas ibn Malik said
a woman came to Aisha radiallahu anha and
she gave her three dates the woman gave
and certainly in some reports it says that
Aisha looked for anything to give her and
that's all she found all she found in
the in her household was three dates compare
this to your fridge you will so three
dates the woman gave each of her two
children a date and kept one for herself
the children ate their dates and then looked
toward their mother she took her date split
it in half and gave each of each
child half of it the Prophet ﷺ later
came and Aisha told him about this Aisha
radiallahu anha was actually crying in other reports
he was so impressed by this you know
kindness of the mother so she was crying
and then Aisha told him about this the
Prophet ﷺ said are you surprised at this
Allah will show her mercy because of her
mercy toward her children Allah will show her
mercy because of her mercy toward her children
now in some reports these were two daughters
in some two sons in some two daughters
it doesn't matter I mean two children she
had two of her children with her and
you know they were all hungry and Aisha
tried to assist them Aisha only found three
dates she gave them everything she had and
that shows the generosity of Aisha Siddiqa bint
Siddiq radiallahu anha wa anabiha and it also
shows you the condition of the households of
the Prophet ﷺ and the austere life the
Prophet ﷺ and his wives have led so
she took the three dates each one of
the children got one date she kept one
for herself and then they ate the dates
quickly and she still had her date in
her hand and then they looked they looked
at the date so she split it into
two halves and gave it to her kids
and she basically decided to stay hungry just
to give her to split the dates between
her kids it shows her justice also between
her kids and that's another virtue but this
is this rahma natural rahma or or it
is basically an act of obedience it may
very well be just natural rahma you know
she may not be cognizant of the reward
that she will get or she may not
be thinking of the reward that she will
get but even though it is rahma fatriyya
it is natural rahma the Prophet ﷺ said
what Allah will show her mercy because of
her mercy toward her children so do you
remember our discussion on qadr al-fiqh about
you know not needing a niyyah for acts
of goodness and acts of kindness you'll get
rewarded even if you don't bring on that
niyyah even natural and fatri rahma is rewarded
by Allah natural and fatri rahma is rewarded
by Allah as this hadith shows us then
Imam Bukhari says after kissing children Hadith Hadith
Hadith Hadith Hadith Hadith Hadith
Hadith Hadith Hadith Hadith Hadith
Hadith Hadith Hadith Hadith Hadith Hadith Hadith Hadith
your heart.
What can I do for you if Allah
has removed the mercy from your heart?
The next hadith is related.
The next hadith is
related.
Could be both.
The Messenger of Allah ﷺ kissed al-Hasan
ibn Ali while al-Aqra' ibn Hābis al
-Tamimi was sitting with him.
Al-Aqra' remarked, I have ten children and
I have never kissed one of them.
The Messenger of Allah ﷺ looked at him
and said, Whoever does not show mercy will
not be shown mercy.
Whoever doesn't show mercy will not be shown
mercy.
So why al-Aqra' ibn Hābis was not
kissing them?
To make them tough.
You know, they're boys.
You know, you want them to be tough.
Because eventually they are tasked with what?
Like herding, farming, fighting.
So you want them to be tough built.
And that was the rationale.
But, and that is also, you know, the
whole thing between the Quraysh and the Quraysh.
This way and the Quraysh.
So toughness is not, toughness has limited, basically,
applications.
Toughness may be good.
Like, I mean, forcefulness, strength, power may be
good in limited circumstances.
Very limited circumstances.
But overall, whether you are a boy or
a girl or you're a male or female,
mercy, compassion, kindness are the virtues that you
need all the time.
You know, the baseline should be a baseline
of mercy, compassion and mercy.
So to kiss the boys, and the Prophet
ﷺ used to kiss al-Hasan in different
parts of his body.
And so to kiss the boys is not,
does not, it's nurturing.
It's empowering.
It's comforting for them to the extent that
Ali Izzat Begovich, rahimahullah, you know Ali Izzat
Begovich?
He was the first Bosnian president.
He was a mujahid and a philosopher.
And he was a big deal, you know,
and you don't know Ali Izzat Begovich.
You really want to know him.
He was really a big deal.
And his Islamic understanding is also superb.
So he was talking about kids that grew
up in, you know, affluent families, very affluent
families, you know.
So kids that grew up in palaces and,
you know, children of billionaires and kids that
grew up with their moms in prison.
And they found that they have comparable financial,
comparable psychological stability, comparable psychological stability because
they have been given the same nurture, same
sort of emotional and psychological nurture.
So the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said
to him, whoever does not show mercy will
not be shown mercy.
Then the next chapter here, the parents' duty
to teach good manners and his responsibility or
their responsibility toward their children.
Bab adab al-walid wa birrihi li waladeh.
Bab adab al-walid wa birrihi li waladeh.
Hadathana Muhammad ibn Abd al-Aziz.
Qala hadathana al-Walid ibn Muslim ana al
-Walid ibn al-Numayr ibn Aus anahu sami
'a abahi yaqul kanu yaqulun as-salahu min
Allah wa al-adabu min al-aba.
Numayr ibn Aus said, they used to say,
righteousness is a gift from Allah, but good
manners or adab are learned from the parents.
Good manners or adab are learned from the
parents.
Although this hadith is not authentic, the meaning
is solid.
The meaning is solid.
And eventually he says, kanu yaqulun, they used
to say.
And you don't necessarily need authenticity here.
Even if these reporters are saying it.
So the righteous predecessors used to say, used
to say as-salahu min Allah, wa al
-adabu min al-aba.
Which means that righteousness is a gift from
Allah, but etiquettes, proper etiquettes, are taught by
the parents.
Proper etiquettes are taught by the parents.
And sometimes you find people who are not
that very righteous, but they are well-mannered.
They are well-mannered.
Because they were raised, you know, by parents
who disciplined them, who taught them good manners
and so on.
Abu Hafs al-Naysaburi, they say that awwal
min adkhalat tasawwufi al-Naysabur The first person
to introduce tasawwuf into a Naysabur.
And that particular expression also is a little
bit problematic.
Because it makes tasawwuf a foreign introduction.
And if you believe in tasawwuf in this
way, then we don't want it, we don't
need it.
If it is foreign, we don't want it.
There is nothing more than the way of
the Prophet ﷺ and his companions, or more
virtuous or honorable than the way of Allah
and his companions.
So that very phrasing, that he is the
first one to introduce tasawwuf to Naysabur, even
though it was, you know, that phrasing comes
from someone who is like a great figure
within the path of tasawwuf.
And not too far away from Abu Hafs
al-Naysaburi.
But it shows you the tension here.
It shows you that, you know, what is
tasawwuf?
If it is not what the Prophet ﷺ
and his companions did, and it needed to
be introduced at some point by some people,
we don't want it.
If it is the actions of the heart,
and the inner practice, the way the Prophet
ﷺ and his companions practiced, then we want
it.
Then we want it.
And the actions of the heart, the zikr,
basically is an integral part of this deed.
And that is why you find people that
have sort of animosity towards tasawwuf, because it
became then a name for this.
It became a name for the actions of
the interior.
And it became a name for that discipline
of knowledge.
So people who have a version of tasawwuf
as a name for that concept, that we
believe to be as old as Islam is,
because it is an integral part of Islam,
they have the same sort of problems that
the Pharisees have.
You know the Pharisees?
That sect among the Jews?
So that sect among the Jews, many people
that are now called scripturalists or traditionalists, both
groups, both groups that fight each other all
the time, they are actually very much like
the Pharisees.
But anyway, not all of them, of course.
There are good people in every group, but
many of them are like the Pharisees.
Pharisees are people that observe the exterior practice,
but neglect the interior practice.
Those are the Pharisees.
People that uphold the Mosaic law, but are
wicked and sort of cruel.
These are the people that Isa alayhi salam
had the greatest sort of contention with and
the greatest animosity toward among the different groups.
So, الصلاح من الله والأدب من الأباء Abu
Hafs al-Naysaburi, going back to Abu Hafs
al-Naysaburi.
So Abu Hafs al-Naysaburi came from Naysabur
with eight of his disciples to visit al
-Junaid in Baghdad and to spend some time
with al-Junaid in Baghdad.
So al-Junaid hosted them for a year.
And he was so kind to them, was
so generous with them, that Abu Hafs al
-Naysaburi blamed him when he left for one
thing.
He said, there is so much affectation in
your deeds, so much affectation, pretense.
إذا جاءك الفقراء فاجعوا معهم إذا جاؤوا واشبعوا
معهم إذا شابعوا When the فقراء come to
you, فقراء is another word for Sufis.
You know, Abu Hafs al-Naysaburi was a
haddad, a blacksmith.
So don't think that Abu Hafs al-Naysaburi
was just like sitting there waiting for people
to give him, you know, assistance.
He was a blacksmith.
So, but then he went to al-Junaid
and then after he hosted them for one
year and he was so generous with them.
تكلف لهم So he did a little bit
more than Abu Hafs wished.
You know, he was more too generous with
them.
So Abu Hafs blamed him for that and
he said to him, when the فقراء come
to you, just be normal.
Be yourself.
You know, no affectation, no pretense.
Be hungry as if, you know, when they're
hungry, be hungry with them when they're hungry
and, you know, satisfied or satiated when they
are.
So don't overdo it.
Just be yourself and be normal.
Al-Junaid is the one who reported this.
Al-Junaid is the one who reported this.
But after they spent some time, Abu Hafs,
you know, said to al-Junaid or al
-Junaid said to Abu Hafs said to Abu
Hafs لقد أدبت أصحابك بأدب الملوك
You have taught your disciples the etiquettes of
royalty.
The etiquettes of royalty.
He said to him حسن الأدب في الظاهر
دليل حسن الأدب في الباطن He said to
him proper etiquettes, you know, proper exterior etiquettes
are an indication of proper interior etiquettes are
an indication of proper So the etiquettes of
royalty, you know, there are certain etiquettes of
royalty, you know, they have certain way of
speaking, of sitting, of walking, of addressing, you
know, their audience and so on.
So the, you know, the the فقراء would
also have based on that version of فقر
or that version of تصوف they had that
أدب or that the etiquettes of royalty.
Why?
Because good أدب externally is an indication of
good أدب internally.
Then Imam Bukhari said حدثنا محمد بن سلام
قال أغبرنا عبد الأعلى بن عبد الأعلى القراشية
عن داود بن أبي هند عن عامر أن
النعمان بن بشير حدثه أن أباهم طلق به
إلى رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم يحمله
فقال يا رسول الله إني أشهدك أني قد
نحلت النعمان كذا وكذا فقال أكل أولد أكل
ولديك نحلت قال لا قال فأشهد غيري ثم
قال أليس يسرك أن يكونوا في البر سواء
قال بلى قال فلا إذن حدث 93 النعمان
بن بشير قال أباهم طلقه إلى رسول الله
صلى الله عليه وسلم يحمله وقال يا رسول
الله إني أشهدك أني قد نحلت النعمان كذا
وكذا فقال النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم هل
قد نحلت نفسك لكل أطفالك؟
قال لا فقال النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم
then seek someone else to witness this he
further said would it not please you that
they be equal to you in beautifulness he
said yes indeed the prophet صلى الله عليه
وسلم said then don't do this then do
not do this so النعمان بن بشير بن
سعد he is one of the most honorable
people by the way why?
he is a sahabi son of a sahabi
son of a sahabi three generations of sahaba
so النعمان is a sahabi بشير is a
sahabi سعد is a sahabi he is النعمان
بن بشير بن سعد do you know who
is the most honorable of people?
the prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم said of
course the prophet is the most honorable people
but the most honorable in terms of lineage
Yusuf Yusuf because he is a a nabi,
son of a nabi, son of a nabi
son of a great patriarch خليل الرحمن Ibrahim
عليه السلام so four generations of prophets it
doesn't get any better than this Yusuf son
of Yaqub son of Ishaq son of Ibrahim
it just doesn't get any better but this
النعمان بن بشير is also a sahabi, son
of a sahabi son of a sahabi so
when it comes to this level it doesn't
get any better it doesn't get any better
by the way there are no four generations
that I know of unless someone can correct
me but there are no four generations of
sahabi huh?
that's three not four three not four three?
I'm talking about four no there is no
four you know I may be proven wrong
but I don't know of any four generations
of sahabi, son of sahabi son of a
sahabi, son of a sahabi so anyway what
does this hadith teach us?
it teaches us the importance of justice between
the children to be equitable, to be just
would you love them the same way?
of course not did the prophet ﷺ love
Aisha and the rest of his wives the
same way?
no but equity is not about this equity
is about how you treat them how you
treat them not only not only financially but
also in kisses and smiles you have to
be careful about how many kisses how many
smiles so whatever love you have inside certainly
you will love you know often times you
love the daughters more than you love the
sons because you have more compassion for the
daughters you know often times you know but
it depends on your psychological makeup also so
we've talked about how they love the sons
more than they love their daughters, they despise
the daughters but often times you will love
the kinder child, the more beautiful child so
you don't have to love them the same
way, you love them all you love them
daringly but you don't have to love them
the same way yet you have to treat
them the same way and when it comes
to finances do you have to treat the
son preferentially two to one like in Mawarith
the madhab says yes yes you have to
treat the son preferentially two to one like
in Mawarith because if Allah chose this if
Allah deemed this justice, then that's justice there
is another report in the madhab which is
the position of the majority that you don't
prefer your sons and that is what I
believe to be stronger and I've never preferred
my son over my daughters financially so I
go by the I go by the lesser
position in the madhab it is the position
of the majority and there is a report
in Bayhaqi also where the prophet said so
treat your children equally in gifts where I
too favor some of them over others I
would have favored women or girls I would
have favored women or girls so when it
comes to miras we don't question Allah and
we don't question his wisdom and it's quite
obvious you know one of the main scholars
in the last century I think Sheikh Mohammed
Rashid Rida said that you know that it
would be more reasonable to say that that
the division in the miras was basically was
partial in favor of women than to say
that it was partial in favor of men
like it favored women because if within the
Islamic value system she is not required to
spend a penny of this on anyone and
the husband is required to spend the man
is required to spend on multiple people, she
is given the one half and she is
required to spend a penny of it he
is given twice as much but he is
required to spend on so many people including
his wife so the miras is the justice
of Allah SWT all the ahkam Allah, all
the shariah is the justice of Allah but
when it comes to al-atiyah why did
the Prophet ﷺ ask us to make the
atiyah equal versus the miras and atiyah may
be a little bit different from hadiyah you
know what's the difference between atiyah and hadiyah
they are used interchangeably but if they are
used you know if you want to give
them different meanings, atiyah is al-hadiyah fi
marad al-mawt al-hadiyah is the gift
that you give when you are on your
deathbed the gift that you give on your
deathbed is al-atiyah hadiyah is whatever gifts
you have given throughout your life so then
then why are we being equitable in terms
of hadiyah, because they have the same needs
as children growing up they have the same
needs as children growing up and it would
certainly look you know and certainly that is
not what had the Hanbalis said in the
Mu'tamad of the Madhhab, the Hanbalis did not
say that you give your son two lollipops
and you give your daughter one lollipop that
would look so bad, the aesthetics of this
would look so bad but they were trying
to say and I think that what they
had in mind is more like al-atiyah
like if you are going to give you
know, like many people, they don't wait to
die to share their wealth with their kids,
but they give some of it before they
die you know, close to their death they
start to basically pass out money to their
kids when they don't need it anymore so
that is probably what the Hanbalis are talking
about so if Allah you know, meant for
this to be divided two to one right
after you die and you are 82 now
and you think that your term is coming
to an end and you wanted to share
some of your wealth with your children then
do it the same way Allah deemed just,
two to one because they will have different
needs, your sons will be responsible for their
wives your wives, your daughters will not be
responsible for their husbands, but certainly it's not
the lollipops and it is not basically the
clothes, you may even end up buying your
daughter more clothes, so anyway equity equality, equality
not equity is what is required in hadaya,
in gifts equality, you know the difference between
equality and equity so the division of miras
is equal or equitable, equitable but it's not
equal, when it comes to gifts it should
be equal if you make a distinction between
your, between hadaya and atiyah, between hadaya and
atiyah it would be a reasonable distinction it
would be a reasonable distinction so throughout your
life, you're giving them one to one but
if you're sharing your wealth before you die
and you do it two to one then
that would be, that would be according to
the dominant view and that would be equitable
because the purpose here is not basically basic
maintenance, the purpose here is transfer of ownership
of your wealth that was meant to happen
after your death, but your desire to do
it or to do part of it before
your death so two to one would be
equitable particularly if they're grown ups and if
there are more responsibilities now, if there are
more responsibilities or more reasons to be preferential
in your treatment of some of your kids,
is that a problem?
No.
If you have a special needs child is
it a problem to give them more?
If you have a child with whatever difficulties,
is there a problem to give them more?
No.
The problem is to prefer, to give more
to some because they are your favorite not
because they need more but because they are
your favorite.
That is the problem and that's inequitable is
this haram?
In the Hanbali Madhab it is haram according
to the majority it is not haram it
is only disliked, makrooh to be preferential in
the treatment of your kids and they have
their set of proofs you know, but I
support the Hanbali position here I think it
is haram keep in mind the Hanbalis did
the two to one but they still say
it would be haram to differentiate between them
on the basis differentiate, so two to one
is what they say you know, but that's
sons and daughters but they say, like among
your sons to prefer one son over another
son to prefer one daughter over another daughter
or to use anything other than the two
to one, to use three to one haram
to use, to give you know, more to
the one son than another son or one
daughter over another son haram, haram, haram and
that's the Zahiri position as well, but that
is not the position of the majority, the
majority would say that this is recommended recommended,
but it is not required, and the basis
of this would be what?
it's your money it's your money you give
your money to whomever you please and if
they are not entitled to it they have
no entitlement to your money, you know after
their basic needs they're not entitled to gifts
after you have basically fulfilled their basic needs
they are not entitled to your gifts so
you give your money to whomever you please
you give your money to whomever you please
what else do we like, you know I
would certainly finish by this hadith, and then
we will talk about mercy the encompassing mercy
of Islam the amazing mercy of Islam, I
will defer this to the next session, because
we can't do it justice but the last
baab here, baab al-bir al-abi liwaladeh,
chapter the beautifulness of a father to his
child qaddathana ibn makhlat ibn yunus al-wassafi,
al-muharrab ibn dithar, al-ibn umar qala
innama samahum allahu abraran lianna hum barru al
-aba'a wal-abna kama anna liwalidika alayka
haqqa kathalika liwaladika alayka haqqun hadith number 94,
ibn umar said Allah has called them the
beautiful, the abrar because they are beautiful or
barr to both their parents and their children
just as you owe your parents their due,
so too do you owe your children their
due or their rights so you are barr,
if you're barr if you're beautiful to your
parents and your children not only to your
parents so why don't we have chapters called
the birr al-awlad birr al-abna birr
of your children huh it's natural you know
since we're in our qawa'id mode here
uh shaykh al-sa'di rahimahullah said wal-wazi
'u al-tabi'i wa'an al-asiyani
kal-wazi'i al-shari'i bila nukrani
wal-wazi'u al-tabi'i wa'an
al-asiyani kal-wazi'i al-shari'i
bila nukrani uh which means what the deterrent
from ma'asiyah, disobedience deterrent deterrent from disobedience
the natural deterrent from disobedience is like the
shari'i deterrent from disobedience and then imam
taqayyid din ibn taymiyyah said heema tashtahihi al
-nafus minal muharramat al-had heema tashtahihi al
-nafus muharramat al-had so had is prescribed
for the muharramat that are desired that are
desired think about it, you know think why
did Allah have hudud in particular so what
are the hudud that we have we have
four by consensus five by agreement six like
a little bit controversial but that is it
so if you have what are the hudud
that we have okay that's adultery and fornication
murder is not a had murder is qisas
it's equitable retribution or retribution which
is accusation which is accusation of adultery so
fornication and adultery theft, accusation of adultery or
fornication al-muharrabah al
-khamr these are the five shorb al-khamr
not al-khamr, shorb al-khamr which is
drinking wine drinking wine al-muharrabah that would
be highway robbery accusation of adultery sariqah adultery
and fornication these are the ones so what
is the waza here the motive is so
strong or not strong or not strong what
is the motive here, strong or not is
there something that attracts you to this there
is something that pushes you ghadab, anger when
do people do this usually when they're angry
is anger compelling is it a huge force
there is nothing more compelling there's no force
greater than this huge force and then khamr
addiction addiction and then al-muharrabah certainly because
of what it causes and it becomes a
lifestyle as well so you will find either
something that pushes you or something that pulls
you pushes you or pulls you what about
riba there is hadd there is no hadd
what about eating pork hadd, there is no
hadd you know you can't even smell it
so the issue here is why is this
because it is not basically about it's not
about being punitive it's not about revenge not
like allah is avenging himself of the maasi
allah wants to protect you and protect the
community so if there is a big pull
then we have to hire the fence, make
the fence higher so that something can stop
you the river if the river is forceful
the dam needs to be higher and stronger
to basically regulate that force and to stop
that force from causing destruction clear and that
is the philosophy of al-hudud in islam
and if you add the big issue about
al-hudud that we keep on talking about
all the time if you use the proper
evidentiary standards of islam you will be seldom
applying those hudud you know so the hudud
of adultery and zina how often will that
be applied in a muslim country maybe once
or twice a year in a country like
egypt of 100 million people because part of
the evidentiary standard that we have is the
credibility of the witnesses do you know what
that means most of you guys in this
room will not qualify that should be enough
right ok most of us in this room
will not qualify