Hasib Noor – Prophetic Communication #04 Commentary on With the Heart in Mind

Hasib Noor

PG 55-92

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The importance of emotional awareness during situations like the pandemic and the loss of loved ones is discussed. The speakers stress the need for strong emotional awareness to avoid harming others' health and avoid harming oneself. They also discuss the use of words like "ar passion" and "ar passion" to describe emotions and actions, and the importance of showing empathy and understanding people when dealing with people who are not familiar with their behavior. The segment also touches on the use of physical touch and the importance of clear communication and understanding emotions in building strong emotional connections.

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			So alhamdulillah saw Simon, as you went along with it, or have you been able to venum him as I said,
and put up with him while studying almost anybody kind of have you been able to beat him from this
place? Anybody have any alongside yet or have you been or whatever you know Masada, la Hollywood
cinema, Columbia liquor with their criminal block, we'll call them as often as they can in life, you
know, all praise due to a loss because that who knows we reveal and knows what we can see you and
even those with the animals feel. We thank him, we praise him around him, we have alliances to him,
we only turn to for guidance. We asked him to send his peace, his blessings has mercy on the rest of
		
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			human beings and Prophet Muhammad SAW a lot if so the model will be praised until the very end of
our days. We asked him for steadfastness, guidance, mercy, and to never lead us astray. And for him
to save us on Judgment Day. Inshallah, we're continuing our sessions on prophetic communication.
We're discussing the book, thematic commentary of the book by Sheikh Mikhail Smith called with the
heart in mind.
		
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			Prophet sallallahu, smz, emotion, emotional intelligence. And we started to discuss his emotional
awareness.
		
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			The idea of being aware of other people's emotions, and being aware of one's own emotions, and the
reasons for them, there was an there was a, I think one portion of it, which kind of aptly
summarized
		
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			pretty much a large portion of, of the section. And that is, if someone is not emotionally in tune
with their own emotional awareness and reasoning for what, why they feel the way they won't be able
to do so with others.
		
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			And this is an important concept because in the visa lottery systems, emotional awareness with
people
		
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			made them feel at least comfortable to share the reasoning behind why they were distraught, or why
they were angry. So anyway, so I said, and was able to actually give them the guidance that was
required for whatever they in there sit in their scenario required, you're not gonna have that he
speaks about this in his book Kimia Sada, we've mentioned this before. And that is, there's there's
four requirements for a person in terms of their spirituality, to know themselves to know Allah, to
know, what Allah subhanaw taala has given in terms of the Hereafter for those who have accepted
belief and follow it. And in terms of the consequences for those who reject belief and turn away
		
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			from it. So he says, In summarizing, he said, strive to know yourself so that you may discover the
path to Allah subhanaw taala and be able to understand his splendor, I think more is to understand
his grandiose Breakaway, the shackles of passion and anger, Allah did not create these things within
you, for you to be controlled by them, but rather for you to control them. And to summarize that, he
says, The one who does not know themselves cannot know Allah subhanaw taala.
		
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			And this is among the height of emotional awareness, among the height of, of emotional awareness and
in the visa Allahu alayhi wa sallam was able to recognize
		
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			others, even by simple interactions.
		
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			The next section that shocked me has Smith discusses is interpersonal emotional awareness, meaning
after one has an understanding of their own emotions, and
		
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			relatively be able to
		
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			tune into why they function in their emotional presence, then they will be able to do that with
others. He gives a number of examples, but I would like to move to a very practical example that he
mentioned with regards to marriage. And that is the concept of emotional flooding. He calls it
motional flooding. He says with regards to
		
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			a situation with a husband and wife, the the wife asks,
		
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			Where are you?
		
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			And the husband risk response? Why do you Why are you asking me, you don't have a right to ask where
I am or where I go, and etc. And then this obviously, has now started World war three. So until you
know, it gets resolved, what actually is happening is there is a lack of emotional awareness from
both sides, not just one, one of them the lack of emotional awareness of why the husband would
would, would feel
		
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			it you could say lack of respect, right? And the other side is lack of emotional awareness of why
she's asking the question to begin with. So he calls this emotional flooding, where a person becomes
overwhelmed with an emotion and they don't know how to properly channel it. So then that actually
renders them
		
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			incapable of responding to the other person's emotional needs. So meaning just like a flood when it
comes along, it's like it's just taking over the car.
		
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			entry in the countryside and tsunami, etc. So the same the same
		
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			line of reasoning here, in terms of understanding other people's emotional awareness is to
understand what is it that they're asking when they asked something? What is it that they're
implying when they're seeking something? So when one person is asking Where where are you? The the
imply the implication here is, where were you when I needed you or where were you when I needed your
presence or your acknowledgement, etc. And the other side where they're saying you have no right to
ask me this question is, why don't you just telling me what you want to begin with? Instead of
asking you a rhetorical question. So it's like tugging stress, a tug of war on one and the other
		
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			side and of course, one or the other side or both will become emotionally flooded and the visa
allottee Salem exemplified. He mentioned a number of examples of how he had emotional awareness of
people.
		
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			Let's go to a few examples that he mentioned directly.
		
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			Okay,
		
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			so one of them is the example of Abu Dhabi, hello, Toronto. He says one day of withdrawal, the
Allahu Neris that he went through the streets of Medina looking for the prophets like Selim. And he
suddenly found him sitting in one of the alley, one of those streets. He said, So I approached the
prophets I said him and said to him, I said Mr. Aliko, in front of the prophet Isaiah also said, I'm
on the ground where were a few pebbles. He then grabbed the pebbles and they began to loudly glorify
Allah subhanaw taala. While in his hand, he then placed them back on the ground, and then they
became silent again. Then you pick them up again and place them in the hands of a worker who was
		
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			also present again, the rocks began to loudly praise Allah. After a short time, he took them out of
the hand of a worker and place them back on the ground and again, they fell silent. For a third time
he picked them up and this time he placed them in the hands of Bob again, the pebbles began to
praise Allah after taking them from the hand of Oman and placing them on the ground. He picked them
up for the fourth and final time and placed them in the hands of Earth man and he they began to
praise Allah or the alarm, says, This narration he basically saying, What made this incident
miraculous. He says in my estimation, both narrations describe the great miracles of the Prophet
		
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			sallallahu sallam,
		
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			but they were granted access to a level of awareness that the prophets lesson of irregularly
experience.
		
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			He says, similarly, the miracle when the tree cried meaning out of the prophets of the lessons love
and Shaka
		
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			is up the comprehensive interpersonal emotional awareness of the prophesy son was temporarily opened
before those present in the masjid that day, he constantly lived on a level of awareness that was
far more perceptive than others, meaning even Gemma death, which are inanimate objects, who were
aware in the presence of Rasulullah sallallahu sallam. So this is also by the way, one of the kind
of like deeper perspectives of when Allah subhanaw taala says that they are worse than in their
rationality than animals, but whom above and also the the notion that
		
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			people who have no rationality, their hearts are hard like stones, right?
		
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			And he says, Okay, the next section of how to increase intrapersonal intelligence with others,
		
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			and especially from the son of indivisible Allah autism, he says, The first component of doing so is
the language of emotion. So understanding the language of emotion.
		
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			And he says an Arabic saying, I feel, tech feel a shell for intelligent person, a small gesture
sufficient. Some see, some people seem to lack the emotional awareness necessary for positive
interaction with others, because they simply don't understand the language of emotions. So the one
who understands the community, the communicative functions of gestures, becomes extremely conscious
of the messages that their own body sends. And of course, this differs from person to person, some
people can't control their facial reactions. Some people can't control their hand motions, some
people can't control the emotive reactions they have towards others. And at the same time, sometimes
		
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			those emotive reactions may be perceived differently than the one who's actually feeling that way.
Like, for example, why are you staring at me like I'm paying attention?
		
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			See, the person's may be perceiving something different than the person actually feeling that so
that's,
		
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			that requires a little bit of emotional maturity as well to understand every person functions
differently. Right. That's the sense of emotional awareness as well. Whilst it had been a bit hot
Bob tells us that a man once entered the masjid while the prophet system was sitting down. It must
be kept in mind that the machine was relatively empty but as the man walked into the
		
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			Actually the prophets have moved over, as is to make space for the man. Imagine like the
commercialism, especially right now, right? Bada comes in I haven't seen him long time and I just
move over as they come sit next to me like why why do you have to move the prophesy said wants to
emotively show that sense of care. And this is something we can benefit from the prophesy sends
emotional awareness that is very practical. And that is a sense of going above and beyond what's
normative to care about somebody, regardless of or to care about somebody to make them feel as if
you are thinking about them in even normative actions, which normally people don't think of them in
		
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			that sense, or in another way to think about somebody in their absence, or in their presence in a
way that would make them feel as if you're thinking about them to give that, that.
		
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			That show of actual care.
		
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			Something very simple, as you know, few.
		
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			Say you're on a business trip, and you're eating something that you you know, your wife would like
you call you messages, or hey, I thought about you while you was eating this. And you know, just as
a message of care that shows what a level of care that normally you know, it's surprising. It's not
something that that's normative. In the prophets, I seldom had that. And then the man noticed this,
and caused the prophets that his entry caused the prompts for them to move. So he said, Oh prophet
of Allah. There is plenty of space in the masjid looking at the man the prophets, and some reply is
the right of a Muslim that when their brother sees them approach that the former at least make some
		
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			movement for him.
		
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			From Hadith into the early Santosa. So and again, by the way, this is this was even taught to us and
you're young music, right? When a person comes in the masjid and they say salaam, what sunnah to do,
you're praying.
		
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			You raise your hand, you raise your installa, you raise your and unless somebody responds to them
already, then there's no need to do that. But you raise your hand as a gesture that hey,
		
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			I, I've acknowledged you Subhanallah the level of emotional awareness and then besides that, he was
teaching us okay, so So how am I imagine? And you know, you go to some places, you're giving salam,
verbatim people are like,
		
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			no response, or no, no response at all to begin with. So, of course, this is much more sensitive
with the closer and closer people that you have, and especially especially more sensitive with
elders, especially more sensitive with people who have hop over you and and it's even more sensitive
in that essence, that level of acknowledgment that level of acknowledgement. So, these are some
examples. One example also he mentions is cabin Malik was boycotted for over 50 days by the command
of the prophets of Allah and after he committed the mistake by not going out to us with taboo, and
the other companions also boycotted him and no one basically spoke to him. So
		
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			he said that he was sitting on the rooftop having just completed his morning prayer when he heard
someone yelling from a distance Glad Tidings OCAD glad tidings, good news, good news. Understanding
that this meant that the prophets as I must have informed the companions that the boycott was to be
lifted, he ran to the masjid, on his way to the masjid people were greeting him one after the other,
congratulating him about his pardon, Allah subhanaw taala part in all of those three, not all of
them because of some of them were not fitting. And he said, I entered the masjid of the Prophet
salallahu Salam and the Prophet was sitting down with a few people gathered around him, while had
		
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			been already last stood up and ran toward me, congratulating me, no one stood up.
		
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			You know why? They took it very seriously. They took the Dean seriously, like if you mess around,
they don't play around, but the prophets I wanted to teach them a number of things. This hadith has
so many lessons. Number one, even the greatest of human beings will commit mistakes. Right? These
are Sahaba. Cabin Matic is not an is that a normal Sahaba. He was among who he was among the people
of October, bear the Atilla capital Gouda, the first and the second. He's not a normal person. This
person was among the people that signed the treaty for the prophets I sent to come to Medina and the
Prophet has recognized him in his place in the medina society. When he was there, he said, Are you
		
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			can? And he said, I've never I never thought the process and window me. He said cab, the poet who's
a poet, not well known as society. And cab said, Yes, he said, we'll talk later in Charlotte, right.
		
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			So he recognized him and he's not a normal person. But many of those Laba that are there, they
sacrifice for us now, the MaHA Jeanine who have left their families and sacrifice and Dave have
everything. So of course, they're going to have some normative, you know, something in their heart
and the prophets hasn't wanted to teach them something in this regard. So he said, No one's the he
said, No one's
		
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			Put up the emotional impact of love has actions toward cab is clear from cabs. Next statement, he
said, and I will never ever forget Baja due to his standing up for me, due to standing up for me. So
emotional awareness as well is in the sense of standing up for people or saying a word of truth when
maybe no one is going to stand up for them method, they will never forget something like that. And
also being there for people, as you all know, among those who give loans. So authentic hadith, the
prophets I said, I said, Whoever gives a loan, Allah will record half of what they gave us on the
phone.
		
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			And the whole thing is stuff in general as well, but immediately for the goodwill that they have is
recorded as if you've given sadaqa, half of that. And this teaches you even if you do that the
prophets I send them also mentioned the praiseworthy nature of the ones who fulfill the loans of
others. In fact, that's also a category of the
		
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			cat. What do you mean, right, those who have loans upon them, and our teachers even taught us that,
to fulfill the need of one person is better than if we were to take your cat and spread it amongst
100 people.
		
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			Here to fulfill the need of one family completely. Absolutely. It's better in the sight of Allah
azza wa jal, according to some of the forefather, then if you were to split your money and say,
okay, 100 different causes, and let's just put our money into different things. So it's better for
you to fulfill the need of a believer.
		
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			And they will never further it for this reason, that level of if let's just put it in a practical
way in Austin, let's say there's 100 needy families, if 100 families dealt with one of those 100
Each eautiful you have nobody in Austin needy, but Pamela where's the prophetic social welfare
programs in our message, right.
		
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			And then he said many of us have experienced the power of slight movements and gestures as we walk
as we enter a class or gathering etc. Unfortunately, we have also been to those gatherings where
there were from the entrance into the room until we left, we felt as if no one even knew, who we
were, knew we were there. The second component he speaks about his body language.
		
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			And he speaks about how people recognize from your body language, a level of emotional awareness.
		
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			Physical Touch he mentions as well.
		
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			And how physical touch can be a form of of emotional awareness of others and that's from the hadith
of football a lot of the lowline when he was with the proselytize him in Mecca, he thought to kill
him and saliva from Allah when he had this idea in his mind. The prophets I said, Emma says, Allah,
what are you thinking about?
		
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			Meaning just by gesture, just by of course, intuition, of course, maybe a wacky Allah Parliament's
not mentioned, but there's prophetic philosophy or intuition. And hold on, I said, Nothing. I'm just
praising Allah. He said, Whatever you're thinking, seek refuge from a lot from it. And he put his
hand on his chest and this is not found present in the Prophet it is also set up where he would have
a physical touch for his men
		
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			of care and compassion, for example, are not accepted Islam. What did he do? He pulled him towards
him, he shook him with a hug.
		
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			And one of the alone time and like was sent out. So when he pulled him and he hugged him, and he
shook him, this was this level of physical touch was required for the one he's speaking to our model
the hola Toronto and also soften his heart. You think of Allah and what he said to him? Magi because
what brought you here in the hubbub and it made his heart soften that the President is hugging him
very hard and shit it's like you know, when you somebody needs a good shake, that literally what was
what amount of power required and he accepted Islam thereafter, he said, I came on Messenger of
Allah, to say that shadow Allah Allah, Allah, Allah, Allah Muhammad Rasul Allah, and he accepted
		
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			Islam in the prophesy. Somebody took a view, and the people in the house said, we we understood that
Ahmad accepted Islam after hearing the tequila of the prophets, oh Lord Islam.
		
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			You mentioned the example of the lovely Bishop, who was a young boy during the life of the prophet
saw Selim and he was one sent by his mother to take a bunch of grapes of the Prophet isolettes to
them. He says before reaching him, I ate some of the crepes young kid.
		
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			So when I arrived the prophets I said in the past his hand over my head, he then jokingly said to
me, trader,
		
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			later on it aebischer used to show them a mark on his forelock, saying, This is where the message
was sent in place his hand when he said, he will reach the century, when he made to offer him,
playing with him joking with him, and this, why prophets, I send them I said, even about the
importance of touch, that if you want your heart to soften, pass your head over the head of an
orphan.
		
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			When you go to visit, even the sick, that touch, there is a spiritual connection. Literally, this is
something we believe, and that's why
		
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			many of them were the sahaba. They would have a Tibetan Book from the Prophet alayhi salatu salam by
physical touch, and the rest of the law they said a method. So this is something that's that's
present in our tradition, and that we believe
		
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			Then in the essence that we, when we hug each other method, and there's like, a whole array of
different hugs from all over the world, so that any hug is different. And then while your hug is
different, because some of your ribs in the process, right, the muscley hug and the, you know,
Pakistani hug as long as you hug but Indian hug, they're all different interests. Interestingly
enough, they all have their formalities as well. So that that has a lot. And especially by the way,
if you go to a particular place, and you know, that style of, of shaking hands or hug is and among
the Middle East is how to kiss, right? One to one or 1111228. And sometimes you end up kissing the
		
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			guy in the cheek or even lips. But anyway, there's, there's a way for every single country to do
that particular touch. Some of them for example, they barely touch their noses, and they make a
kissing sound. And if you've never heard this before, then inshallah you will one day
		
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			when you visit these countries, and when you know it, when you know this kind of cultures, it brings
like awareness and care, right? Just like if you were to wear the clothes of a country, and I
remember one of my teachers, whichever country he went to, he would wear the clothes of that country
for the lecture. And people would like Allahu Akbar, right? They would, they would love it, and they
would pay attention more. Remember, this happened in Nigeria, and Mufti man came in Nigerian
clothing that was gifted to him. And I think people cared more about that than the lecture that he
gave. Well, and mashallah, like he's a handsome guy, so they love that.
		
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			Another example of of was Adel, and Saudi who was another young boy who touched by the was touched
by the prophets, I Solomon, passed by his hand and he passed by his hand over my head. While doing
so he prayed for me, oh, Allah, make him beautiful and preserve his beauty. It is said that
		
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			Abu Zaid lived until he was well over 100 years old without having any gray hairs on his face or or
neck. This is from the miraculous nature of tomorrow can have anybody salatu salam.
		
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			And of course, we can we can discuss this even more. But one of the most interesting things is
		
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			a famous author from Afghanistan, whose name is Jose del Belfie, who wrote books on the
psychosomatic components of emotional awareness
		
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			and emotional health. Lamb Yes, let me just back it over to me for the whole meeting. He was there
was no one in actual recorded history that has written about something like that. So when his book
was translated,
		
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			it was actually a pioneer in the field of psychology. And that is because of how much our faith
emphasizes on emotional health, emotional and psychological health, as much as physical health.
		
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			The next section he speaks about is emotional understanding. I mean, some some of these might be
very similar, what's really on your awareness and understanding. It's similar, but he's giving a
different examples of that. He says emotional understanding of others will give us deeper insight
into why the ones we love are acting and feeling the way they are.
		
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			And he says here, this is one of the most important portions of this entire book says if you can't
understand why you feel what you feel, and why you act the way you do, you will never be able to
identify and understand the feelings of others. And hence it goes back to the original statement we
made the one who doesn't know themselves will never know Allah subhanaw taala that's why when you
see somebody misguided, they've lost themselves to be honest with not so law, firm and settlement
for sell. They forgot Allah so He made them forget themselves. We see somebody distant from Allah,
they've lost themselves before they lost the last panel data. So what about you and I everybody else
		
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			after that, that's why a person for them to deeply reflect within their own self. And the capacity
to identify, as Jeff McHale said, the sources of, of what you're going through are suffering in
other people is the third pillar of emotional intelligence. And it plays a pivotal role in family
communal and societal reform as people become increasingly disconnected.
		
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			So in essence, the emotional understanding is becoming in tune to why people do what they do.
		
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			And then he gives you
		
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			some examples. This is the prophesizing set the example before as follows of the complete DACA.
Speaking quite frankly, how we'll be filled with many people who are extremely emotionally
intelligent. We use that intelligence to con scam and mislead people. It is a tool that should be
used for helping people not to ultimate and not an ultimate objective in and of itself. Many
emotional abusers seem very observant and possess a deep understanding of those they abuse and
manipulate. They know what buttons to push it precisely how hard to push those buttons without a
self develop moral intelligence. Emotional understanding and awareness can be quite dangerous
		
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			because you can take advantage of people. And you see this all the time.
		
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			The process of building awareness
		
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			and emotional intelligence, he says Begin with listening the air, the Arabic saying or proverb, the
tongue is the interpreter of the heart and the statement of it which is
		
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			attributed to any of the law and because God knows how many of these statements are actually
totally, totally alone, and he says that
		
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			a nurse must Nazma also known attacker as senior team for either to Kalamoon folio, oh, come on, he
says that people are actually hidden underneath their tongues. So when they speak you, you know who
they truly are. You know who they truly are.
		
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			And he says it reminds us that we have to become true listeners where we have mastered the ability
to hear beyond the spoken words, and to listen to what the heart is saying.
		
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			And he says developing the ability to listen deeply can be difficult the prophesy some use the
method we now call mirroring. It is a method commonly used in marriage counseling and is extremely
effective when used regularly. Mirroring is when the partner who is receiving a complaint or any
other type of message from their spouse attempts to repeat the emotional message behind the verbal
complaint back to their spouse. Of course, mirroring is not restricted to verbal communication as we
stated before emotions are primarily communicated non verbally. This means that learning how to
communicate is a vital element of a strong emotional understanding, mirroring when implemented
		
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			repeatedly helps a person who's normally very reactionary, build an empathetic capacity to think
more deeply about the person they're dealing with. Mirroring our partner's emotional piece has a
secondary benefit allowing your partners the chance to think about what they themselves are actually
feeling. Alright, I shouldn't say that the messages I sent them I left her room one night, so I
became jealous and acted differently toward him when he returned on returning the messiness, I said,
but notice the change in her demeanor. So he asked, Oh, Aisha, did you become jealous? She replied,
and why wouldn't someone like me be jealous over someone like you? He replied, I think your devil
		
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			came to you suggesting the idea that he would go to someone else on her night. Let us examine the
incident more closely. He says, firstly, we see the prophets ability to sense a change in eyes
emotions. So imagine somebody comes home like from from work, and they're completely oblivious, and
they don't care. This is this is the first mistake, and emotional awareness and understanding.
		
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			And, of course, we're human beings, we're not robots, but at the same time to justify a complete
neglect and continuous neglect is what leads to the emotional, obviously, Discord, a person cannot
in Islam justify a constant neglect of someone's emotions via a responsibility that they have, for
example,
		
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			I'm tired from work, don't you know that I've worked all day? Or don't you know that I've been with
the kids the whole day, I've been cooking all day. So that kid does not equal neglect of her. And
that also does not equal neglect of him.
		
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			Those are things that are your obligations and responsibility. So regardless of what those are, and
again, this is not should be like a daily routine, but at the same time, one should be understanding
that somebody is, for example, tired, lethargic, etc, but not create a pattern and use that as a
justification for neglecting somebody. And this is present in the Quran, Allah subhanaw taala says,
We're the guards to men sort of Lakota men is to remind people of your favours. This is one of the
Haram things in Islam when husband or wife reminded them of the things that they do for them.
Shouldn't do that. And parents reminded their children don't you know, I did this for you and I
		
00:28:27 --> 00:28:36
			carried you and all these things, whether you like it or not, you have to carry them anyway. Right?
So reminding people of your favorites is actually is not allowed.
		
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			It's haram Tom, you should not do that, whether whether it's your family or whoever, this is your
responsibility, but it should not justify neglecting somebody in emotional. So he says the prophesy
some understood from a shift in her body language, meaning he was emotionally aware constantly. And
subhanAllah. I mean, a husband and wife are the most emotionally aware. But this does not mean that
they you can't do that with your parents, you can do that with your, with your siblings, you can do
that with your extended family or other human beings. You notice that if somebody is acting a
certain way that there's something wrong, right.
		
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			And secondly, we see their ability to identify and mirror the emotion behind the change with clear
unambiguous language, which goes back to the one of the first lessons we talked about, because we
wanted to speak about how to address emotional conflict. Number one, like we already mentioned, and
we're repeating it, don't make assumptions of people's behaviors, simply ask what is wrong? That's
what the Prophet says that Emma did. And secondly, he wanted to know the reasoning Hey, can I can
ask why you're upset.
		
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			And the response shouldn't be Oh, you don't know why I'm upset. You're even worse than I thought.
Right? People are not they don't understand by osmosis, other people's behavior. And then also as
Gottman says, I statements will save the day golden like principle. I, I feel blank, because blank,
and I would like for you to do blank soon
		
00:30:00 --> 00:30:00
			All
		
00:30:01 --> 00:30:33
			right. And sometimes what happens is somebody emotionally floods, and then nobody knows what exactly
that results in. Okay, so what should I do? You don't know what you shouldn't. And then it just
repeats over again. So there has to be a clear messaging. The Prophet says, Did you become jealous?
And she could deny it? She said, Yes. Well, why? How can someone like me not become jealous of
someone like you? So this teaches you also the level of clarity that they spoke, they spoken. And
sometimes people are very clear, communicating their emotions, and some people don't have very clear
communicating what they want.
		
00:30:35 --> 00:30:35
			Okay.
		
00:30:36 --> 00:30:38
			And it's a he says here,
		
00:30:39 --> 00:31:05
			that he let her know that he knew what she was feeling, though she has the mirror. Okay, many times
our loved ones do not want solutions to their emotional problems. This is also very true. Sometimes
they just want to vent. So sometimes you just need to ask, Would you like my advice before you offer
it? And may Allah help us with all of this because it's important. Some people they don't recognize
that it's not a position for your advice. They just want to be heard. And that's it, and
acknowledged and that's it.
		
00:31:07 --> 00:31:38
			And he says, rather, they desire someone who simply understands what they're feeling. All problems
are not meant to be solved, some just need to be heard. Lastly, we see the Prophet says I'm
attempting to gently remove the source of her jealousy by explaining the source of this feeling. And
this prophetic method of understanding and responding to suspicion is in stark contrast, in the
messy situations that many couples find themselves in today, inquiries about suspicious actions
normally pay out play out like what we mentioned, where where are you? Why are you asking me where I
was, you don't have the right to ask that. Are you hiding something? Why don't you trust me? Why?
		
00:31:39 --> 00:32:06
			Instead he says the wife is really saying Why won't you hear from me, this need for companionship,
and attention is what we should focus on first and foremost, which is in reality goes into a deeper
subject of understanding gender differences, how women function and how men function generally and
then how that specifically plays out to individuals. Over time you will realize that everybody has a
particular practice or method
		
00:32:09 --> 00:32:21
			okay, we will take one or two more examples, Inshallah, in this section, and then it's almost time
for it's time for Aisha who the patient Sharla and will close.
		
00:32:23 --> 00:32:25
			Second, Abu Zaid al Belfie, in his book masala has
		
00:32:27 --> 00:32:30
			done well enforced, translated by Dr. Malik muddy
		
00:32:32 --> 00:32:34
			as sustenance of the soul.
		
00:32:36 --> 00:32:37
			He discusses
		
00:32:38 --> 00:32:44
			this psychosomatic paradigm or format of dealing with this insight from a psychological perspective.
		
00:32:46 --> 00:32:55
			Dr. fote says again, he says he was also the first to classify emotional disorders in a striking
modern way and categorize them in one general classification.
		
00:32:58 --> 00:33:24
			And he says, We Belfry writes, we start by saying that since man is composed of body and soul, he's
bound to face from each part of them, fitness or weakness, health or sickness or other symptoms that
afflict their their health in a negative way. The symptoms that affect the body and upset its well
being are those such as fever, headache, and various kinds of pains that effect organs. The
psychological symptoms that afflict the person are those such as anger, sorrow, fear, panic and
other similar manifestations.
		
00:33:26 --> 00:33:37
			Because Smith says, What is even more stunning than both his mental health analysis is the late
night century, is how long it took Western psychologists and physicians alike to develop a similar
understanding which is goes back to cognitive behavior therapy.
		
00:33:39 --> 00:33:50
			And basically, the notion of cognition, being aware emotionally of why you think or act or feel a
certain way.
		
00:33:51 --> 00:34:06
			Me mentioned here while the prophets lesson was sitting in the house of Aisha Zainab bint Jash, sent
some food for the prophets. I said, we mentioned this before, where I showed with Ilan who
physically knocked it out. And the prophets I said didn't become angry, he asked why. And he himself
		
00:34:07 --> 00:34:08
			was able to
		
00:34:10 --> 00:34:15
			dissipate that moment of conflict by simply understanding from
		
00:34:16 --> 00:34:41
			the perspective of listening to the other person, why they feel that that way, and this is not this
is not very easy to implement. It's sometimes very difficult to have the strength to, in essence,
not react and to simply ask, and then the response is what should be done to alleviate that? That
situation?
		
00:34:47 --> 00:34:53
			Yeah, so the Prophet isoftbet I mean, this essence of teaching us listening habits
		
00:34:54 --> 00:34:59
			teaches us that the principle of emotional intelligence
		
00:35:00 --> 00:35:16
			and awareness of oneself and why we say and do certain things will lead to us being able to listen
to the other person of why they act or do anything. So that we may be able to respond to them
appropriately.
		
00:35:19 --> 00:35:58
			will inherently sha Allah, The next section is called prevent parenting prophetically. And in sha
Allah is a gel. In the next session, we will finish the book. It's 184 page book, which we're
summarizing thematically. Inshallah, and then what we'll do is after we are done with shift we can
Smith's book, we're going to be doing a detailed explanation of what explains this book further. And
that's another book by Chef Saleh Majid called how he dealt with them, how the Profit System wasn't
his interactions. So the next session, we're just going to finish the kind of theoretical with some
examples. And then we're gonna go deeply into the actual interactions of US law, civil law, so them
		
00:35:59 --> 00:36:36
			in much more detail in that book by chefs Manager, which is free. So we'll just look it up how he
dealt with them PDF, and you'll be able to get it for free. This book I really recommend for you to
buy and benefit from in Charlottesville. That's the last Panatela to grant us emotional awareness,
and emotional understanding, and the ability to better and improve our relationships constantly, to
allow us to be the best of listeners and also the best of people who communicate, may Allah Subhana
Allah allow us to have the best forms of conflict resolution, and not allow us to fall into who he
mentioned, those who forgot themselves because they forgot Allah subhanaw taala. And those who also
		
00:36:36 --> 00:37:07
			Allah has already mentioned, that among the greatest forms of human beings becoming lost, is that
their ego overpowers them, may Allah protect us from that, and also protect us from what we
mentioned in the hunt, or directly relates to this is that much of spiritual diseases is tied to
Kibber arrogance. And the prophets I seldom was asked by that by that man, is arrogance dressing
nicely or wearing nice shoes. He says no arrogance is rejecting the truth, what's rejecting the
truth, not just call for rejecting the truth is not willing to be corrected.
		
00:37:08 --> 00:37:45
			rejecting the truth is not willing to admit your mistake. This is this is the greatest form of
rejecting the truth, having emotional reactions by saying Oh, are you to tell me this, and these are
forms of rejecting the truth. And the second is to look down on people to imagine that you're the
best of them, and you're beyond reproach, and everybody needs to listen to you. And these are all
forms of looking down on others. And we said the consequences of that is if you look down upon
somebody, you will see that you will see that unfortunately the consequence in your life. Like we
mentioned the story of hunger scene. He had made a comment about a man of how he could be bankrupt
		
00:37:45 --> 00:37:52
			How can this man get bankrupt? Just a statement? He said Allah punished me over the statement 30
years later, he was imprisoned for bankruptcy.
		
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			He was imprisoned for bankruptcy for those of you don't know the story, he took a loan he wanted to
basically do some business 40,000 Dead humps so he bought a barrel of oil and what happens is for
him to do the business next he was obviously make make money and give the principal back he opens
the barrel and there's a mouse in the in the oil. So what happens is oh, well what was some of us
doing it take the mouse out. I'm just been loving, you know, businesses going, but he thought this
was this was
		
00:38:20 --> 00:38:53
			this was dishonest. So he did his he just dropped all of the oil. So what do you think will happen
Jupiter is gonna give you another barrel of oil the next day inshallah? No, of course not. Right. So
he couldn't find any more money to do business with the guy takes him to court and says to him, you
know, where's my money? So the ring Mohammed had been sitting in one of the greatest or the man
righteous people of his generation. He's a tabby right? He witnessed the homes of the prophets lie
Selim is still in Medina. And he was the one who described actually what his home looked like he was
the main narrator. So what do you think are going to do all mashallah you Muhammad in the city and
		
00:38:53 --> 00:39:10
			the righteous scholar you pray in the front line you do do kill all the chronic where's the money?
Because I got to have the money so did I did you take all of the wealth that you have? It is you're
not allowed to spend except the basic necessities for your family. And the rest of it has to go to
this man until you can able to pay it and you go to prison.
		
00:39:11 --> 00:39:14
			So he said I spent time in prison because of one word I said 30 years ago.
		
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			May Allah protect us? Zakat? Wilhemina Westville. I also lost I'm gonna have you been on a veto Hang
on a second race probably should have Allah in a hurry. Let us go to work and we'll see you all next
Friday after Muslim next Friday after Imelda Michelle is