Hamzah Wald Maqbul – Young People! Marriage is Important Wayne State 02202017
AI: Summary ©
AI: Transcript ©
Statistically,
very likely to automatically withdraw
back into your own socioeconomic
and ethnic and racial
group. And then after that,
you know, you're you're you're no longer going
to have the ability to cross over and
to,
be a be an like we were supposed
to be, like we were always meant to
be, and like we're commanded to be.
So we start with the topic of marriage,
which is
a an an interesting topic. We are we
live in somewhat of a blip right now
because people,
unlike most of the history of Islam,
people are getting married at an extremely late
age. Traditionally, the
the
the
practice of Muslims is is to get married
when
right after right after puberty,
especially for the girls and for the boys,
maybe just a little bit more beyond that.
I think one of the reasons why people
are marrying later and later is because of
a
a completely manufactured,
concept,
social concept called adolescence,
that you're a teenager, you're gonna be a
rebel and go do this and go do
that and go do the other thing. It's
really something that from hue most of human
history, most cultures don't have a concept of
this. It's very interesting that,
traditionally, most cultures used to segregate people by
gender, but not by age. But now we
segregate people by
age, but not by gender. The whole idea
of keeping people
in in a continuum of mixed ages
is that that kids then learn how to
behave like adults.
Kids always try to behave like little adults.
Their mental faculties, you know, they're at different
developmental stages, so they're not able to be
like the be like their elders because of
a lack of experience or a lack of
development,
mentally, psychologically,
physically.
However, the idea was always that they tried
to behave like their elders. They tried to
emulate their elders. We live in an age
where the philosophy
of
following
following the footsteps of those who came before
you is a philosophy which is much derided.
So I I think that there's a lot
of intentional,
social engineering,
that goes into the way school,
unfolds, goes into the way education unfolds, goes
into the way that you go to college,
university, etcetera.
Many people don't think about that, that somebody
actually made this,
by design this way and intended a certain
set of outcomes.
With it. One can debate, you know, whether
they're interpreting what those outcomes and what that
design is properly or not, but trust me,
nothing happens by accident. All of it is
done on purpose.
And at any rate,
one of the interesting whether it was by
design or not, one of the interesting outcomes
of the way that we've been living as
a society in America over the last,
over the last 50, 70, a 100 years
is
that marriage levels are declining,
and marriage itself has become now the preserve
of the of the of the wealthy.
The marriage rates amongst wealthy people,
are are still relatively high and stable. The
marriage rates amongst middle class and amongst poor
people are falling apart because, economically, it doesn't
make a whole lot of sense for a
lot of people,
and there's there's no incentive toward it.
Now we are
a people who don't
view the world around us as
purely economic or purely material.
There's some sort of spiritual reality to the
world around us.
This is part of our worldview as Muslims,
that you came from somewhere,
and you're here for a reason,
and you're going to a destination.
And the reason that you're here
is not entirely,
you know, cocooned up in physical things, fulfilling
physical needs.
And the destination you're going to is also,
not only will I say not entirely cocooned
up in physical,
considerations, but it's
nearly absent of physical considerations.
The the the place that you're going and
the place that I'm going is a place
where
we will face the consequences of what we
did in this world,
and those consequences will be judged on a
completely spiritual level. Just like a person can
do something that's immoral in this world
and benefit materially over here,
in that side, the person will benefit materially
for and spiritually from that thing that they
did, which was,
moral and which was upright and which was
virtuous.
So,
given that
difference of world view that that we hold
as Muslims compared to the rest of society,
we also should consider marriage
differently than the people around us consider it.
And if a person wants to know,
a, is it a good idea to get
married or not?
Look at the hadith of the prophet
look at the book of Allah.
Allah very clearly says in his book,
etcetera, that you're you're supposed to marry.
It's a commandment. It's a. It's the imperative
form that you should marry,
that, as men, you should marry the, those
women who are,
that you find pleasant for for that purpose,
that you find agreeable for that purpose. And,
obviously, a woman will then marry the man
as well. This is just a a a
a
a
a a way of stating the same fact,
because a man cannot marry a woman, obviously,
without her marrying him back.
The hadith of the prophet
further,
further explains what.
It says that, that the the
That the is half of the deen.
And for the other half of the deen,
you will find it by the fear of
Allah
by by by by by by your fear
of god.
This is
not a a a statement that is
purely made in,
in Mubalah. It's purely it's not a purely
rhetorical statement. There's a reality to it. So
many of the akhams, so many of the,
rulings of din, they then will revolve around
the institution of marriage.
Your respect for your elders, your respect for
your parents,
your,
respect for one another as
a husband and a wife, your respect for
your children,
your children's respect for you, your earning for
them. What does it mean? You know how
people people have their orad that they say
they say, or they read a certain amount
of Quran every day. Everybody should have some
time like that. Even if it's 5 minutes,
all you do is you say, okay. I'm
every day, I'm gonna, you know, pick a
time, whatever, to pick it. After salatul Asr,
I'm gonna sit and read, you know,
10 times or something like that. Someone should
everyone should have a wird that they do
everyday of of of of of dhikr and
of the recitation of the Quran, etcetera.
From amongst the greatest orad, not every word
requires that a person have, like, a a
a fancy,
sabha.
You understand what I'm saying? That you go
and say, I'm gonna read this surah like
a 1000 times or what. Not every word
requires that.
One very good example of a word that
doesn't require that is your nafil prayers.
Person shouldn't miss the 2 raka'as,
after the or before
the before the
a person shouldn't miss the 2 raqqas after,
after
a person shouldn't miss the 2 raqqas after
A person shouldn't miss their witter after the
etcetera.
And, actually, one of the hikmas of of
having that are not salat is that because
then,
you won't be disrupted with them in your
travel.
The sisters won't be disrupted with them in
the time of their,
menses,
that you can read avkar and things like
that without without being disrupted. But at any
rate, not every dhikr requires a,
YouTube be on and not every dhikr requires
that you have a sibha.
One of the greatest orad is what?
Is a It's a hadith of the prophet
striving in order to serve your family.
It's a hadith of
that there are certain sins that won't be
forgiven that won't be forgiven except for through,
reading nafil prayers.
And there are certain sins that won't be
forgiven except for through keeping,
knafil fasts.
And there are certain sins that won't be
forgiven except for through the the the struggle
that you go through in order to provide
for your family.
That struggle that you go through in order
to provide for your family. So you see
pictures of refugees from different countries.
You see,
you see, like, for example, a family, and
the father is is, like, going out of
his mind or mother is going out of
her mind in order to protect her children.
Or you'll even see this amongst children. There's
certain children that are orphans or even the
ones that are not, but for some reason
their father and mother are not able to
provide. 1 of the siblings, you'll see there's
a special thing inside of their heart that
they'll struggle and say, I'll go and get
something for my,
little brother or for my little sister or
for my mother or whatever. I'm going to
go and earn for them. Little kids do
that. You know? The kids that are in,
in in countries other countries, you see them,
they're, like, selling, like, tissue boxes, and they're
walking through the streets selling people bottles of
water and things like that. Don't treat them
as an annoyance.
Even if you don't have the money or
you don't want to buy the box of
tissues or you don't wanna buy the bottle
of water from them,
don't treat them with
annoyance. It's literally haram. Like, eating pork is
haram, it's haram. If we were to say
a bad word to them, for you to
push them out
of the way, even even for even for
you to look at them with the look
of disdain,
even if the subtlety of the disdain is
so much that that person themselves won't won't,
see it, Allah
sees it.
This is from the first,
from the first commandments of or prohibitions of
revelation is what? That the one who is
the one who is, asking for something, don't
don't
don't, be harsh with them.
So those people, you'll see that this is
a a a a certain piety inside of
the heart that Allah
activates in in certain people.
That is what that is also a weird
that's just like someone being a of Quran
or some like it's like somebody fasting by
day by day and praying by night, etcetera,
etcetera.
So what does
Rasulullah
mean
for the second half of your deen,
fear Allah The idea is that so many
so many of the and the rulings of
so many of the
right, the beliefs of Islam, and so much
of the the the
the spiritual well-being
of the heart of Islam, it revolves around
what? Those things that have to do with
marriage.
Now this is one of the catastrophes of
the age that we live in, that we
have take taken the,
the reprehensible
innovation
of,
of of western secular liberalism
into our deen. Remember this, the word many
people are annoyed with this word because people
have misused it. They've said for things that
are usually just a difference of opinion amongst
the says bida'a to say out loud or
not say it out loud. These things are
not bida'a. These are differences of opinion even
the sahaba
had differences of opinion regarding these things.
Is what? A change in your belief regarding
the deen of Islam or a change in
in the the mode of of worship. The
idea is that the mode of worship can
only be
told to you
by
by revelation that comes from the unseen. A
person cannot sit and figure it out. If
they could figure it out, there's no need
for There's no need for prophecy.
And, the beliefs regarding the unseen, obviously, they
also have to come from the unseen. So
the person who claims they know something about
the unseen that wasn't told to them by
the Messenger of Allah
sallallahu alaihi wa sallam. They have violated the
khatmul nabua of Sayna Rasool Allah sallallahu alaihi
wa sallam. They have claimed that somebody receives
prophecy
or revelation after
Rasulullah sallallahu alaihi wa sallam was.
He's the seal of the prophets, alaihi salaam.
This is a problem that we have made
din. We've made religion into something, and din
doesn't even translate to religion. Din is a
completely different thing. I think if you wanna
translate the word din, you can't translate it
into English. There's no word for it in
English. Perhaps because very few people have it.
The like, a word that has anyone here
studied, like, comparative religions or
philosophy? Everyone's going to med school. Right?
Your parents are gonna be proud of you.
So there's there's a the a traditional religion
in China called Daoism.
Right? The word Dao
doesn't mean like religion as I'm changing my
religion. They don't have that concept. They have
a concept that the universe is a certain
way, and you follow the way of the
universe.
This is the same thing. The word Hindu
will use in order to describe the
religion of
the the people who who were native to
India from from early antiquity.
Otherwise, the word Hindus, they actually if you
read philosophy, they identify. They self identify as
what? They say this is the Sanatan.
Is the same word as deen. It's the
same word as daw. It means this is
the eternal the eternal path. It's the only
it's the way stuff is. Right? Because what?
You and I can't just be like, hey.
We believe in the and they people do
this sarcastically, by the way. They say, we
believe in the spaghetti monster. It's sarcasm. Right?
Because there's there's no spaghetti monster. You've lied
now. There's no you're not talking anymore about
something that's reality.
The idea with religion is what people understood
intuitively that there is a spiritual
reality to existence. Existence is not they it's
not they didn't have a reductionist outlook that,
that existence is only limited to empirical experiences,
what you you can see, taste, smell, touch,
you know, they understood that there's a higher
reality, and religion is a
religion as a western concept because of a
decoupling of
Deen is what? Deen is is, different idea.
The idea with with dean is what? Dean
is
is is just the way stuff is.
You and I may disagree about what that
is,
but the approach is the same that we're
just trying to live a life
and negotiate our place with the universe
based on the way the universe is. This
is a that has crept into our deen,
which is what? Which is the deen is
kuli. It's a complete it's a universal it's
a universal way of life. It is trying
to attempting to explore
the way stuff is. So these
wonderful gentlemen who are making a car in
ford, this is also part of Deen.
These people, what they're doing is also part
of Dean. The people who are studying Arabic,
in in the Arabic department,
and the people who are, whatever, studying the
Quran and the hadith and looking through manuscripts
of religious texts, they're also studying,
the one who is doing mechanical engineering and
electrical engineering, god knows what else, that's also
part of the deen.
That's also part of the deen as well.
Everything has its place.
The idea of is just knowing where where
to put everything in its place. So the
idea is what? Is that the the the
the knowledge that that's bequeathed to us regarding
deen from revelation,
it sits neatly in the into 5 categories.
The
your acts of ritual, acts of worship,
your, your
your your beliefs regarding the world around you.
Everyone has beliefs regarding the world around them.
Right? Somebody believes somebody believes that whenever it
rains, there's a, you know, whatever. There's a
fish in the sky that's flapping go
around
go round,
which is which is which is more correct.
Both of them are just as ridiculous. But
it's a metaphor, sheikh. Even the metaphor is
preposterous. Can you eat money? Can you?
A here. I'll give you
a
Right? I'll I'll I'll I'll give you a
porter. We'll eat it for me. You can't
eat it. Can you live in it?
Can you, can you what what can you
do with it? Will it, you know, will
it make will it make people love you?
Well, yeah, in a very crude and vernacular
way, possibly for a short amount of time,
but in like, really love you? No. Right?
It's not really gonna make people love you.
What is it? It's just a story we
tell. It's an that we have in a
piece of paper.
If I took out a $20 bill or
a100 dollar bill right now and ripped it
into shreds and just threw it in your
face, everyone would be like if we have,
like, the EKG meters, like, hooked up to
you, your bar would
somebody, you know, like, people will be like,
why are you doing that shaykh? You could've
given that in sadaqa. You could've just done
that in it's just a piece of paper,
actually. What's what's wrong with you? You know,
what's what's what's the what's the problem?
Because the problem is there's a attached to
that. There's an attached to that. It's literally
against a lot of rip up money. It's,
like, a federal
offense. You can you can cuss out
god. You can cuss out a nabi. You
can say a lie against another human being.
That's not a big deal. You rip up
the money, you've committed an act of blasphemy.
So the akhai so don't don't let people
be like, oh, you and your imaginary friend,
we've moved on from religion, religion causes wars,
blah blah blah, all this other stuff. We
have we have a religion. You have a
religion as well. You call it by a
different name.
You call it by a different name.
Somebody said to you, hey. I'm gonna come,
you know,
why don't you come over to my house
and we'll we'll we'll have hummus? And,
okay. I guess, you know, like, I'm Daisy.
We don't have a hummus a lot, but,
like, maybe people someone from Sham, you know,
so I'm I'm into trying new things. So
you go to their house, and then and
then, the guy, like, lights up a blunt
and starts smoking weed. Right? So what are
you doing? So I'm having hummus, would you
like to have some
hummus? At that point, is haram, isn't it?
Does the fact that you called it something
halal change that reality?
Absolutely not.
So okay. Fine. They call us religion is
causing all these wars, and you have religion,
and we've moved on for you have your
religion as well. So
if you want to talk about whose religion
is, you know, describes reality better, we can
do that in a civil way, not in
a combative way. We can do that in
a civil way. And if you wanna say,
okay, we believe in freedom of religion, then
get off my back.
Leave me alone. So you have what? You
have is number 1,
is number 2. Right? Number 3 is,
which
is what? Which is the right? We talked
about the body, the the the the the
the sorry. The ritual practice of Islam,
and then we talked about the how the
Islam is practiced in the mind. The mind
is a spiritual organ, not a physical one.
It's not there's a difference between your brain
and your mind. Your brain is very similar
to the brain of a chimpanzee.
But if your mind was similar to the
mind of a chimpanzee, then you would be
locked up in an asylum right now. They
wouldn't let you walk around and, you know,
deal with people. So people say, you know,
like, look, we're just we're really near relatives
of apes.
Evolutionarily,
that may this it may make some sense
in some some way or another, but spiritually,
it's completely like it's not it doesn't really
take you very far.
So what so you have the the the
in the mind. Now you have the the
spiritual heart. Right? The the Quran Quran talks
about
the
heart.
That the day of judgment is a day
a person won't be benefited by money. Right?
Because you can't live in it or eat
it here. So how are you gonna live
in it or eat it over there? Right?
That these days, you're not gonna benefit from
your money nor from the how however many
children you have. The only thing that will
benefit you is upright heart. It's not talking
about your cardiovascular
health.
So I read this thing about the only
thing
the upright heart is the only thing that's
gonna help me day day of judgement. So
I'm gonna instead of sitting in this,
talk, you know, where this crazy guy from
god knows where is saying all this stuff.
He isn't he's not even talking about marriage
yet. Right? I'm gonna go I'm gonna go
across the the way and just start doing
some cardio. Right? That's what cardio means. It's
like right? The car like, you know what
I mean? It's it has to do with
the heart. Right? Like, cardiovascular
health. I'm gonna I'm gonna up my cardio
because the Quran says that you need a
good heart to make it on the day
of judgment. This is the spiritual heart. It
is the seed of the seed of intentions,
where intentions are made,
with a person in their spiritual apparatus. Just
like the mind is a spiritual center of
processing information.
The heart is what? The the the seed
of intention in a person's spiritual makeup.
That seed of intention has to be rectified.
Otherwise, a person's faith is not going to
be accepted on the day of judgment. The
the science of doing that is what? It's
Taskea.
Who here has done calculus homework while working
out?
Nobody?
Really?
Imagine if you were to do your calculus
homework while working out. Could someone think of
a potential, like,
suboptimality
regarding that scenario?
Anyone, raise your hand. You're all smart people.
You're in university. Right? You didn't go to,
like,
a a backwards and medieval education like I
did. Right? So tell me, what what's the
what would be a problem with, like, doing
calculus homework while trying to lift weights or
do cardio or, like, play play basketball?
Yeah. If you get hurt, like, if you're
on the truck and you have to fall
off. Why would you get hurt? Why would
you fall off? Because you're not concentrating. Because
you're not concentrating. Because of distraction.
Okay? It's It's a distraction.
This is another we put into our deen.
I have to understand everything. Who said you
have to understand everything?
There are certain parts of the deen that
are there to train your heart.
Certain parts of the are there to what?
To train your what? Heart. Your heart.
If you're trying to constantly, I'm gonna understand
everything in the universe while,
while I have like the and I'm saying
What's gonna happen? Is your heart gonna get
trained? No. Because your spirit is distracted by
the mind.
Does this mean you should never use your
mind ever again? No. This means while you're
doing your zikr, while you're reading the Quran,
shut that part down so that you can
focus on something else. Why? Because if you're
distracted, you're not getting any benefit out of
it.
This age we live in because it's an
age that completely denies. It's a reductionist and
empiricist age. It denies that a person that
spiritual things exist in the first place.
There are people who psychology, what does psychology
mean? Right? Psyche in Greek means,
nafs. It means like a soul. Right? So
psychology
originally was the study of the soul, the
study of something spiritual.
But now there is a trend within psychology.
Not all psychologists are like this, but there's
a trend within psychology. It's just like it's
just like, intersection of biochemistry and, like, electrical
engineering, the way that nerves fire inside the
head. Theoretically, one day, we could get to
the point where you could hard determine. You
could completely call how a person will react
to some situation or another because all of
these things, they unfold through very logical and
predictable,
chemical reactions,
electrochemistry
that goes through the nervous system and all
these endocrine
responses to stimuli and whatever. Right?
So
okay. Okay, we don't believe that. We believe
there's something that's that's driving all of these
things that's not physical as well.
One of the problems is though that people,
they they suffer from these,
from these kind of like, psychological
conditions and illnesses,
and guess what? When you go to this
to the shrink, even if he's not a
Muslim, and even if he doesn't have a
beard or she doesn't wear hijab, what do
they tell people to do oftentimes as a
a form of therapy? Not all the time,
but sometimes what do they prescribe? Reflection. Meditation,
reflection.
I go do yoga. Go say,
Right?
You know, the the one of the one
of the most renowned
yogi masters in India,
he he makes his his Muslim disciples
they said, don't say while you're doing your
yoga. Say, Allah Allah. He makes the Muslims
and the Christians say, Allah Allah.
Some of the Christian disciples, they say, well,
can't we just say God? I said, no.
It's not that you're not gonna get the
same thing. Say Allah.
It's okay. It's also a name of it's
also a name of God in the in
the bible as well. But at any rate,
the point is is what? You need to
be able to train that if you don't
if you if you don't train it and
if you're constantly distracted by other things,
and you don't train your heart, you're gonna
have a problem
in the hereafter. And as a human being,
you won't be whole again.
Okay. So we got to 3. What's the
4th one?
How are your transactions conducted?
You cannot you cannot I repeat this. You
cannot and people say, oh, you're just sheikh.
You came to, Detroit, you're picking on us
now. It's not I wish it was just
Detroit. It's like the whole country. You cannot
run a liquor store and then afterward have
a beard and a hijab and, like, feel
like you're practicing
Islam okay. I'm not saying you're not a
Muslim,
but I'm saying something really wrong. You have
to transact in in a way that is
in harmony with our sacred Sharia.
Not to rag on other people too much,
All of you here are educated or are
getting educated.
Will give you the means to, Inshallah, easily
make a a a honorable living and feed
your family without having to be tested with
having to think of, like, I have to
do something haram in order to make my
money. Some people do it out of not
out of,
out of, choice, but out of necessity, and
then there's, like, a gradient in the middle.
Right? So someone might be, like, 80% wrong,
but 20% of necessity. Allah knows best. So
we're not here to say this to judge
other people, but the point is, for our
own understanding, we have to understand what's right.
And for our own practice, we have to
understand what's right. And understanding what's right in
and of itself is the first step on
the path of doing what's right. If you
do what's right without understanding it, it's not
right with Allah ta'ala.
And if you do what's wrong knowing it's
wrong, then the door of of of of
repentance is much closer to you, and the
door of tawfiq to change life is much
closer to
you. It's it's within grasp.
So what what's number 4? Your muamalat, the
way you do your transactions, don't transact in
riba, don't transact in in usury,
don't don't sell things that harm people, buy,
sell things that harm people, don't transact with
people, make your money by,
lying to people or even by,
by by by fooling people or by deceiving
people. All of these types of things that,
you know, we can't talk about the whole
thing right now. We don't have time.
And then number 5 is what is the
the social social relationships of Islam.
The social relationships of Islam. This is a
complete branch of learning of deen. The that
I was referring to in the beginning was
what? The
of this age is that we have
limited Islam to
what? To just a ritual practice.
Why? Because the society around us tells
us that, quote, unquote, religion
doesn't have a place in the public sphere.
So you will see that people treat religion
as what?
As
only your own ritual practice, which is that's
a really important part of religion admittedly.
And some people maybe will say that this
is that
your own belief is somewhat a part of
it.
But people do not treat the other branches
of religion as they are as important as
the as the first one, one and a
half maybe.
Now this is a lot of setup to
make this point, which is what? Rasulullah salallahu
alaihi wa sallam said what? That that that
that
that marriage is half of your deen, and
for the other half, then you should fear
Allah
Does this mean marriage is important or unimportant?
Does this mean it's important or unimportant?
Important. It's important. Right?
To the point where almost, you know, we'll
say that someone who says it's not important,
it's like kufr.
It's like like having disbelieved in the thing
that Saidna Rasool Allah sallallahu alaihi wa sallam
came with.
Obviously, I'm not saying this because, well, Sheikh,
my roommate is like, no. I'm putting off
religion. He's a kafir. No. I mean, there's
a difference. Certain things are kafir, but then
you look behind what's the intention and things
like that. There's a difference between a a
a a a erroneous or wrong belief being
kafir and the person who holds it being
a kafir. This is, you should, you know,
take a class with Sheikh Ishdiya. He'll explain
it more to you. Right? But the idea
is that it's a very severe it's a
very
severe, infraction of the din. It's an infraction
of a class that's higher than than sin.
Right? Kufr is always an infraction that's higher
than sin.
So a person, for example, what if a
person robbed a liquor store? Is that good
or bad? It's it's bad.
Okay?
What if they did it, like, a 1000
times?
It's bad.
But to not believe in god is more
immoral than than than that.
To not believe in god is more immoral
than that. We may even have a law.
We may actually punish physically the person
who robs the liquor store once or twice
harder than we'll punish the the the person
who doesn't believe in God. Though such a
person may not be punished at all, in
fact. The sharia may dictate that they'd be
left in this world
alone and not not punished at all. In
in many circumstances, that's what the dictator of
the sharia is. There are many many people
who, lived their lives, not not now, but
during the, like, height of, like, Sunni theocracy
over, like, more than half of the civilized
world, they were born and they died. They
never believed in anything,
openly, and they were left alone. And the
sharia doesn't say to do anything with them.
But as an as a level of immorality,
it's it's qualitatively in a different bracket than
than sin.
K? So why is it that we why
is it that we have
thought about praying and fasting as being a
sign of religiosity,
but,
we thought about marriage,
as not being important even though we realize
it's something that's really important.
This is something the question to answer for
which is going to involve some sort of
analysis of of
of sociopolitical
history.
This mural is also,
related to it. I don't wanna get into
it right now, though.
But
the you know, that analysis, I think, for
the point of MSA,
it's something that should happen, but it may
not be the most important thing to talk
about right now.
What we should talk about right now is
this, is there's this thing that you have
been commanded by Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala and
His Rasulullah
radiya saloon to do. It's a hadith, it's
masnoon to be read in the
in the, in the
that Rasulullah
said,
that the is from my Sunati. And he
said,
the one who turns his back on my
Sunna, the one who turns her back on
my Sunna, he's not he's not from us.
He's not from me, literally.
What does that mean?
Here in this world, it may not mean,
like, a big
deal. It may mean that you're not gonna
get invited to as many Eid parties. In
fact, you might still get invited to the
Eid parties.
But in the hereafter, when the Shafa'a of
the prophet sallallahu alaihi wasallam, is the only
key to enter Jannah, it's a it's a
it's a really big problem. It's a significant
problem.
So if something is important, you plan for
it. Right? When did you when did you
submit your, application to go to university?
When?
November before the year you went to the
university, which means that you had to actually
write the application even earlier than that, like,
maybe September or so?
Don't shake your heads. You guys all did
it at the last minute. I know.
Probably, sisters, you guys did yours on time
and early and all that stuff. Right? So
you have to be you have to be
you have to be, okay. Sisters, be honest.
Any slackers did it last minute?
No. Okay?
So
you have to plan for it. Right? At
least by September, you have to have the
thing in your hand or download the PDF
or whatever.
You have to get letters of reference and
all of that other stuff.
Just to know where you want to apply
to, then you have to before that, you
have to think about where do I want
to go. Am I gonna apply for Harvard?
I don't really have a shot to get
in, so I don't wanna, like, blow a
$100 on the application fee. Or maybe I
have shot to get in, so I do
wanna blow a $100 on the application fee.
Where am I gonna get a $100 from
for the application fee? All these things you
have to think about them from beforehand.
The choice of your university requires you to
think from before that as to what you
want to study.
Someone said, well, I didn't know what I
wanted to study. I just found out, like,
last week, I switched my major. Well, even
the idea that you're you don't know what
you wanna study will dictate that you make
a different choice of university. You're not gonna
go to an engineering university
you you know, you might not wanna be
an engineer. You might want to,
you know, do your PhD in, like, modern
interpretive dance, then don't apply to MIT or
Caltech. Right? Then Wayne State may be better
because there's at least an option that you,
you know, jump ship or switch tracks in
the middle.
You have to think of everything from beforehand.
This is a commandment of Deen as well.
This is a commandment of Deen.
One would think it's common sense, but common
sense is not that
common. Oh, you believe, fear
Allah, look for what you you look plan
for what what you want tomorrow.
Plan let every soul look to its what
it what is it going to do? What
is it going to earn for itself tomorrow?
That doesn't mean just the hereafter.
Although that's like the greatest meaning of it,
but the ayat of the Quran have meanings
on different levels.
It also means like the tomorrow like the,
Tuesday tomorrow as well.
It also means like,
this is 2:40. What are you gonna be
doing at 3:40? You have to think about
these things.
So why is it that
almost nobody has any plan with regards to
how are they gonna get, what are they
gonna do with with marriage.
With this thing which is such an important
thing that it's,
such an important thing that it's equated with
taqwa, with the fear of god. And it's
it's called half of the deen. And literally,
commandments,
the
is used for it. The the the the
grammatical part of speech, the the imperative,
command form, the imperative form is used in
both the kitab and the sunnah of the
prophet
and Rasoolullah warn warn the people of the
Ummah that whoever turns away from my sunnah,
that person is not from me.
This is this is a this is a
problem. This is a,
somewhat of a shortcoming,
in deen. And it's not entirely your fault,
and it's not entirely the fault of of
of your elders either. It's a trend that
that that human society has gone through,
but look, we have a choice. We can
either live our lives according
to what dictates other people, designs other people
have,
and the outcomes will be in their favor
because they're the ones who designed it. Do
you understand what I'm saying? Nobody else is
looking out for your own for for your
benefit.
Nobody.
The only person who's looking out for your
benefit is somebody is a nebbie or somebody
who has has
has their conduct
dictated to them by a nabi. Right? Because
that type of behavior is not behavior from
this world.
Even parents of children that are looking out
for their own children. Right? Anyone who's taken,
evolutionary
biology, they know right they're just trying to
propagate their own genes. So they have this
kind of feeling of like, okay. This is
my kid. I should probably do something for
it. You know? So,
you know, a person statistically, I don't know
any sociology majors here. Majors here.
Don't admit it in front of anybody else
if you are. Right? Right? You you statistically
can carry out a study and see, like,
people who rob liquor stores, what's the incidence
of them robbing their father's liquor store versus
someone else's liquor store. I don't know. You're
not gonna you it doesn't happen a whole
lot, but the motives are very different. Right?
With us, we have to learn to we
have to learn to what?
Say it's okay. I'm gonna do something different.
Why? Because this different thing is more in
line with the outcomes that I desire in
life and more in line with what I
want to do with myself.
So okay. Have I like, I'm like a
used car salesman. Have I sold people on
the idea that it's important that you should
get married? Right?
It's not only import an important choice. I
I I'm telling you it's a more important
choice than the career choice
that you're making.
Rasulullah
what was his commandment?
His commandment was
that a woman anyone who is like anyone
who is of sound thought and have, has
some wisdom inside of them, they should say
that
a woman what? Let them sit on the
floor Some of them is good for them
If someone like yeah. If someone needs to,
if your legs are
hurt, then you can sit up.
Oh,
I forgot.
Yes.
That's good.
Brothers, you could learn some.
Although in the front, there's no way you
could have known he was here.
So the idea is what? The idea is
that you have to choose somebody. You have
to choose somebody to get married to that's
kind of important, who you marry.
Said what?
That a woman is to be married for
4 for 4 reasons,
which is what? Because the reason this is
the the reason it's like this because some
of his sisters say, well, how come this
is the only the men are being,
addressed and things like that? This is a
this is the mode of speech of the
Arabs.
The meaning of it you take is the
meaning that you take from it is,
more than just a literal wording. Right? People
shouldn't hang up get themselves hung up
on on on on wordings, but they should
focus in on realities.
Sometimes the way things are worded also betrays
some reality as well, so it's okay to
understand that too. But
like we said, if someone's idea of eating
hamus is to light up a a blunt
and smoke it, then it's still haram, and
you can't be like, well, but hammus is
halal. All the say hammus is that's not
your fault. You're fixating on on on the
distraction. You should fixate on the the thing
that that that's actually you're gonna under that
you're gonna get understanding from.
So why what are the four reasons what
are the four reasons mentioned in the hadith
to to look for a wife?
For her beauty.
Brothers are don't need a lecture regarding this.
Okay?
Except for except for to say
except for to say, people's Facebook profiles are
usually
extremely flattering pictures from a long a
a
The second thing is what? A
a a a a a woman's wealth.
The third is a woman's what?
A Nasab, her lineage.
This is a small side point that's not
directly related to what we're talking about, but
I want you to,
notice that the word is
is is, is mentioned. The word lineage is
mentioned.
In Islam, we have lineage. We don't have
race.
The Arabs I don't know of a a
word for race
that means what we think it to mean,
like, in America nowadays, like, so and so
is black, so and so is white, so
and so is Asian.
Like, okay. Yeah. Like, everybody except for, like,
maybe, like, like, 80% of people are Asian
or something like that. What what does that
mean? What does it not mean? I propose
it doesn't really mean anything at all whatsoever.
So nasaab doesn't mean skin color. It means
your lineage.
So someone who is a shari from nasaab,
somebody who has a, you know, is a
descendant of,
of of whatever, of the prophet sallallahu alaihi
wa sallam, even if they're black, their nasaab
is considered to be have a certain station.
And a person who's,
you know, whatever their skin color is,
if, you know, their
is unknown, then it's unknown or whatever
gradations you could have in the middle between
them. And
is considered to be
is considered to be bad, even though some
have have certain virtues in them. It's you're
allowed to marry someone because of their.
And the 4th is what? Right? But you're
not allowed you're you're
just to pick on race or whatever, it
doesn't make any sense. Actually, according to the
according to the,
the way that they classified race and the
racial theory that, like, that they they came
up with,
in this country, I'm actually according to this
racial theory, I'm actually Caucasian. I'm actually white.
So go figure how much sense does that
make. Okay?
So so you
Mohammed, you're Sudanese? You're white.
Because Arabs in the original in the original
ethnic makeup this is actually the the court
system in America has litigated this, that Arabs
are
white. There's, like, Syrians who immigrated early on
in the 1800 to this country,
and at a time when there was, laws
exclusionary laws for citizenship
for,
people of other races, foreigners of other races.
The courts have actually litigated that Arabs are
are in in this country that Arabs are
white, and you, my friend, are an Arab,
and you are white.
Raise your hand. You're white. Okay?
It makes no sense. This is part of
right? That's why racism is is what? It's
it's it's if any place something similar to
racism exists in the the the deen as
a concept,
it's what?
Shaitan said about saying Adam alayhi salam, I'm
better than him. You created me from fire
and you created him from from from dirt.
Because a very surface level observation.
It's it doesn't really mean much more than
than than something very surface level, very
scratching the surface.
That's all it is. So these 3 these
3 and then the 4th Rasuul
mentioned is the
Sorry. The no. No. No.
And then the prophet sallallahu alaihi wa sallam
says to says
says after having said these 4 things a
person might wanna marry someone for.
He says, you'll be successful.
You'll be successful by picking the one who
has deen. May your hands turn to dust,
which doesn't mean
is making
du'a that your hands turn to dust, but
it was it was an expression amongst the
Arabs that caught people's attention.
We have expressions like that in English as
well.
Right?
Someone's like, you know, do you want coffee
or do you want green tea? And if
Hamza says, green tea? Damn it. Doesn't mean
that I would like to curse the green
tea? That doesn't make any sense at all
because if I curse it, I'm gonna drink
it, then the curse will that's that's not
that's not what what it means. It's a
figure of speech, meaning, like, pay attention to
what I just said. Okay?
Out of these four things that a reasonable
person would like to pick a spouse
because of these four things are prime from
them. Okay? For example, if you're like, you
know, there's 2 girls that I wanted to
marry, but one of them was born on
Tuesday and the other one wasn't. You'd be
like, you're a moron, like, you're gonna pick
based on has nothing to do with anything.
Right? So what is it these 4 things?
And the sisters also should look for these
4 things in a in a man
or would be forgiven for living looking in
these 4 things in the man, that they
want to marry, but there's a little bit
of an addendum that I'd like to add
to it in a minute. But the idea
is what? The idea is out of these
four things, which is the only one that
really matters?
Din. It's Din.
Now
let me explain myself slightly.
The first three considerations
that Rasulullah
mentions,
These are pass fail indicators.
The way that a a woman looks,
if you find it attractive,
it's a
pass.
If
you shudder
out of, like, you know, like, some sort
of, like, like, involuntary reaction, maybe it's not
gonna
work out. Okay?
But what is the difference between what is
the difference between,
you marrying a woman who is like,
she she she looks like a normal woman
of the or of the of the of
the of, like, what this person that you
see, and
you're attracted to her and the woman who
is, like, the super,
like, miss Michigan.
What's the difference between not that you should
be watching these things. Right?
I heard about someone told me about this.
Okay?
That or what's the difference between the Miss
Michigan and the Miss USA? Is there any
difference functionally?
No. Not at all.
The gradations, even if a person were to
say that there's some gradation in beauty, all
of that breaks down. Anyone who's married will
tell you that after some people, it's like
after a month, if you're, like, really pious,
you're real spiritual. Some people, like, literally, like,
after a week, they stop engaging with the
person based on their physical looks. And what
do they engage with? They engage with the
personality.
How many a time? Reflect over your own
lives.
How many a time,
even in in that sense, because
most MSA kids have not experienced the
who's physically looks awkward,
but because of their good akhlaq, they actually
that person who you almost didn't wanna look
at in the beginning, they've become beautiful to
you. Even if it's another brother. Right? Not
in that way. But you know what? You
understand what I'm saying. Right? Even if it's
another sister, you see someone and, like, you
know, like, I I one of my one
of my best friends, and one of the
people that I I love the most in
this world, He's a brother. He has one
eye. He has a glass eye. It's really
strange, like, when you look at first, what's
wrong with this guy? Right?
Because the person's eyes has a lot to
not to stuff. I'm not trying to say
anything bad, but I'm just
shamefully sharing, like, how immature I I was
when I first saw him. Okay?
That what that, like, you're, like, wondering what's
going on, and then you kinda, like, out
of the corner of your eye, stare because
you don't wanna be rude or whatever and
what person is. Every single thing about the
and In in in Muslim culture, it's permissible
for a man to say, I love another
man or that another man is beautiful, and
people understand that that that you're not talking
about sexual attraction. For some reason and this
is the idea of reductionism, which is what?
There is a spiritual reality in human
beings. You're not just physical stuff. Okay? The
fact that you love someone,
you can love a person without it having
to be sexual all the time.
And so, you know, this is a person
I I have a lot of love for.
Right? You it's awkward. Who here has been
to the, like, Muslim world before? Right? It's
awkward you see, like, one guy holding hands
with another guy walking down the street. At
first, I'm, like, looking away like I can't
I can't deal with it. I'm like, why
are they doing this? This is ridiculous. Someone
tries to go, get your hand off my,
you
know, you know, like, what is this? Right?
And, like, it's out of what you know,
you're you're just and then afterward, when you
live for such a long time, maybe if
you met somebody who was that
wonderful you know, if you met somebody who
was spiritually such a pure person or had
so much love for you, maybe you would
love them also. Maybe you wouldn't mind putting
your hand in their hand. When you live
in a society where everybody is just looking
out for themselves
and where everybody, like, you know, the the
the everybody when they go to lunch, they
split the check. Nobody has any love for
another person, then maybe you could understand, like,
why is this guy trying to touch my
hand? But if you met somebody who was,
has such a beautiful character, maybe you'd be
like, yeah. I wouldn't mind that putting my
hand in this person's hand. Right? So
the idea is that even people know with
people of the same gender or someone of
the opposite gender for that matter, that after
some time, you stop seeing the person physically
and you have the character of
the
person. And that's what you're stuck with for
life. You'll never stop seeing that. How many
a time have you seen a person who's
physically a beautiful person or a handsome person
person, but because of their bad akhlaq, that
person has just
you just get annoyed every time you see
them. You just increase the beauty that they
have makes you increase in anger,
makes you even more annoyed with that person,
makes you hate that person even more.
This is what's meant by being a pass
fail indicator because you're not gonna you're not
gonna be stuck with it forever. Right? What
does it matter, for example, if if you
if you marry somebody who,
makes
$70,000 a year, and you marry another person
who makes what? A $100,000
a year.
What is the difference in your quality of
life?
You'll drive a Avalon instead of a Camry.
You'll drive a Lexus instead of a Toyota.
Look, I'm the first person who said, okay.
It'd be pretty neat to drive around in
a Tesla and stuff like that. But at
the end of the day, that's not what's
going to make you happy.
And if you think it's gonna make you
happy, you're probably gonna end up killing yourself
one day. Why? Because you'll get you'll get
that thing and you'll realize that it doesn't
make you happy. And then you'll be like,
oh my god. There's nothing left for me
in this world. I'm not joking. It's not
funny. There are people who literally this happens
to them.
That's why, like, ultra rich people oftentimes their
their deaths are so tragic because
they just work so hard in order to
find happiness, and they keep going harder and
harder and harder. Regular people, they realize that
money is not gonna make you happy much
earlier
on, and those people, they just keep at
it for so long. And then, you know,
by the time they make that realization, it's
too far gone. They can't do anything else
with their life. They realize my whole personality
is geared toward just making money. I don't
know how to make friends. I don't know
how to love another person. I don't know
how to all this other stuff. I don't
know how to pray. I don't know how
to fast. I've I made zikr, and it
was horrible and, like and they just give
up hope at that point. Even though a
person should never give up hope, there's always
hope.
The hope, if you put it in yourself,
then we should all give up right now.
If the hope you put in Allah,
he's the one who can create something from
nothing and his mercy is is is is
vastness is unknowable.
So no one should ever but that's what
happens. Right? So there's what? There's your there's
your looks. There's your money. There's your
The is a very interesting, interesting discussion.
And that discussion is what? Is that we
have this idea in,
in Islam that
that you have indicators for people who are
suitable match for one another in marriage.
Okay? For example,
if you're a janitor,
and there's, like, a princess of, like,
Denmark.
Okay? Denmark's a nice country. Anyone Anyone been
to Denmark before?
They still have a real family. Much love.
It's nice. People are nice there. Right? So
your janitor and you and the the princess
of Denmark
fall in love and you guys get married.
Okay?
Your the the the princess's parents can go
to the and object, like, what kind of
marriage is this? We I want to have
this marriage annulled. Why? There's a very reasonable
consideration which is what? The janitor is not
going to be able to provide her the
things that she's accustomed to, to, and that
adjustment is going to be very difficult for
her to make. And it may, in and
of itself, break the marriage, and cause,
other types of irreparable harm.
Right? So
it doesn't mean that one person is worth
more in the eyes of Allah than the
others. It's a very than the other. It's
just a very practical consideration.
There's a difference of opinion amongst the as
to whether lineage has has any consideration
in, legally in marriage? That is there any
any such thing? We say that you can
marry someone because you like their lineage, but
is there any such thing as an inappropriate
match based on lineage? Is there kafaa in
in in Nasr?
That is there such a thing as an
inappropriate match and lineage?
The opinion of Malik and the majority of
the Hanafis is that that that there's no
such thing.
That what? That there's no such thing. And
what is the what is the that they
use? Right? The are very interesting.
The custom of the people of was that
they would marry within.
That doesn't necessarily mean though that it's,
that that it's like
something
that's a law of sharia.
So there's an investigation
between the.
Does this mean that this is a law
of our sharia, or does it mean that
it's,
it's,
just a a custom they had, a habit
a cultural habit that they had, which was
permissible as long as they're happy, but you
don't enforce it on other people.
The people who had the the latter point
of view,
they they look at the hadith of the
prophet sallallahu alaihi wa sallam.
The one who is slow to doing good
deeds
the one who's slow slow to doing good
deeds, that one,
their lineage is not going to speed them
up. It's not gonna make up the gap
for
them. The idea being what? If you're the
son of some great person or some great
wali of Allah or great scholar or rich
person or of a king or of whatever,
right,
You will probably receive, right, as your portion
of their genes and as your portion of
their culture and as your portion of being
raised by them, something.
But if you don't put it to good
use, it's completely useless.
Do you understand what I'm saying? So a
person can marry, another for their lineage, that's
great, but if they don't do anything with
it, then there's no point. Then then the
functional part of what they wanted from that
lineage, they're aren't they're not gonna get. This
is why Rasulullah Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam said,
You'll be successful with the one who has
deen. Why?
Because those things the money can't do, the
dean will do. Money doesn't keep you happy
if you marry someone who makes a $100,000
a year or 700,000
dollars a year or a $1,000,000 a year,
and he's he's a jerk. He has no
human kindness in him whatsoever.
Everything he says is just just off
putting. It's you even the $1,000,000, you can
spend it so much, you're still not gonna
find happiness in it. I've seen people like
this. I've seen couples like this. As a
child, I've observed these types of marriages in
in amongst family and amongst relatives and friends
and things like that. It doesn't
there's really no in it whatsoever. Those people
live the most miserable of lives.
Again, you marry someone who's good looking or
someone who's handsome, but, again, they don't have
that that that human kindness inside of them.
What are you gonna do? Right? You could
marry you can marry whatever you you can
marry, like, the the the
the whatever, one of the royal princes
of of some whatever country.
If you never see them, you never spend
time with them, you never receive a kind
word from any what's the point of
it?
Now, again, how much planning have we done
for any of this?
At almost absolutely none. Now for the sisters,
the addendum is what? Is that the say
that the the indicator that the sisters should
look at with regards to deen,
specifically,
is a quality called taqwa, which is the
fear of Allah.
Right? And there's a difference. Like, somebody might
be like a Hafiz of Quran. They may
have memorized Sahih Bukhari. They may be like
the most brilliant legal mind. They may be
the person who donates the most money to
the masjid. They may be the person who
is like the help of quickest to help,
someone in need. They may be, you know,
they may have a lot of qualities that
are deemed to be religious qualities,
but why specifically taqwa?
Because what? Because there is a position,
there's a position that once a woman marries
a man, there's a position of submission that
she's in. Whether she whether whether modern sensibility
allows us to admit it or not,
that when a woman marries a man, she
submits to him in some some way, shape,
or form.
And when a person submits to another, you
have to trust them.
And
generally speaking, we have this idea in in
western
culture, at least, that absolute power corrupts absolutely.
In Islam, we don't have this idea. The
idea is that if somebody their their their
heart is not right
and their mind is not right,
that person, when you give them absolute power,
you'll see who they really are.
But a person who has trained themselves, restrained
themselves, wakes up for fajr, can stop themselves
from eating the haram, from looking at the
haram, from doing all these things, that person
there's a good chance the more power you
give that person, the the the more you'll
see how wonderful a person that that person
is.
And the Rasulullah
ruled with absolute power, and he's a wonderful
person.
The
ruled with absolute power, and and they were
like that as well. And we have a
history of people who have that, not only
in government,
but people who who,
were given significant amounts of trust and authority,
they wielded it to make results better than
than than could have been made otherwise.
So you should look for a person, the
person who can stop themselves when their tells
them to do something, when they're angry
that they when they're angry at you or
they want to say something hurtful to you.
This is an interesting thing in the Sharia
and the law of
marriage and families.
Abuse abuse is haram,
and
abuse is not just physical abuse, it's verbal
abuse as well. If a man, for example,
punches his wife,
and she comes to the the judge with
a black eye,
right, He can annul the marriage on her
behalf.
It's a it's a and it's a crime
against the the husband. That much we'd be
like, that's common sense. If we didn't have
that, it would be barbaric.
Right? Well, guess what? If a if a
wife comes and proves to the judge, this
man curses me every day, he uses foul
language against me every day. He says, you're
a slob. He says, you're ugly. He says,
your father is like this. Your mother is
like this. Your family is like this. You,
you you know, you're this thing, you're that
thing. This is verbal abuse. This is in
the same, this is in the same bracket
of offenses as physical abuse.
This is this is important to understand. Sometimes
sometimes in a fit of anger,
even though it's not acceptable or tolerable,
in any way, shape, or form. But it's
possible that a man may,
strike,
his wife.
And afterward, he learns a lesson from it,
and the the 2 of them make up
from it, and the damage from that
will be repaired.
And it's possible that a man may say
something to his wife that's so hurtful, she'll
never forget it. She'll never forget it, and
it will cause her more damage in this
world than than than physical
physical abuse. I can't understand what I'm trying
to say. I'm not saying that physical abuse
isn't any way tolerable or acceptable or should
be slipped under the rug and not talked
about or that a woman who suffered that
abuse shouldn't be helped or any of that
stuff. I'm just saying as a theoretical
concept,
the things that you say to each other,
the way that you behave, and say doesn't
just mean words. It can be not words,
it's not that he hasn't talked to me
for, like, for 6 months. He comes and
goes from the house. He never spoke to
me. This is a type of abuse that
if it were,
appears in front of the judge, if she
she asked the judge, he can annul the
marriage just based on that alone.
So what should a what should a sister
look for specifically the the the characteristic
that she should look for in is what?
That that that right now we're in love
and everything is wonderful.
What happens what happens the day that he's
annoyed with me? What happens the day that
I'm annoyed with him and I say something
to him that I shouldn't have said? How
is he gonna react to it? What happens
the day that that that, you know, everything
is not amazing
anymore? What happens the day we go over
to, like, my in law's house or or
he comes over to my parents' house and
my parents cuss him out? Is he gonna
take revenge from me? What's gonna happen? These
things these things are all very normal
scenarios. These things are part of life. Right?
You guys,
This is such a long journey. One day,
you'll know the magic of
in laws.
My in laws are wonderful people, but there's
some barakah, strange barakah in this, relationship that
makes it just super, special and different. Right?
So, like, what happens that you have to
you have to look for you have to
look for for for those
things.
What happens that you have to you have
to look for you have to look for
for for those things.
Okay? All of these things that you have
to do with they have to do with
seeking out a a suitable match.
This doesn't have anything to do with what
how are how are your children going to
be. So hadith of
that the the son of Adam, when he
dies, all of his,
deeds will be done except for his good
deeds will be done except for 3.
One of which is what?
Your pious children.
Rasulullah sallallahu alaihi wa sallam said what? He
said he said he said he said,
Marry marry marry the woman who,
that you you're in love with, that you
love,
not just like before you get married and
you're
WhatsApping each other, but like that you that
you love for the rest of your life,
and she'll love you as well.
The one who will bury you,
children.
I will be it will be a source
of pride and happiness for me to see
the size how big my ummah is on
the day of judgment.
Now,
this is, obviously, this is like a very
non
western liberal,
you know,
positive thing because people are, like, overwhelmed with
fear of overpopulation.
Okay? This also has to do with the
philosophy of modernism. Now tell me
something. Is there actually not enough food to
feed everybody in in the world?
There's, like, double, triple as much there's enough
food just from what we throw in the
garbage to, like, feed the entire humanity 2,
3 times over.
This is another problem with or not problem,
but another,
peculiarity,
if you will, then I'll let you decide
if it's a problem or not. This is
another peculiarity
of of the modern,
you know, the modernist world view. Modernism doesn't
mean, like, it's a it's a philosophy. It
doesn't mean, like, living in 2017. Even if
I was in a caveman, it doesn't mean
that I traveled back in time. I'm still
living today. Right?
The the the idea that somehow technology will
solve all all of our problems. Okay?
The increasing technology, efficiency, all these things will
solve our problems.
So we have a lot of efficiency in
agriculture. Don't we? Right? Are people still starving
to death? Yes.
Do you think if we double our our
our our technological efficiency in producing food that
people will stop starving to death?
They used to believe that at a time.
Some people still believe that. Do you think
if we genetically modify all our foods to,
like, yield crops, like, you know, 10 times
a year instead of once a year and,
like, you know, we genetically engineer, like,
you know, a type of, like, bio meat
that doesn't involve killing animals, and it costs,
like, 2¢ a pound. And after eating it,
like, you shoot rainbows
out of your eyes. You think that's gonna
solve any say anything in the world? No.
People are still gonna starve to death. Why?
Because the problem this is
this is at least my opinion. You can
evaluate it on on whatever merit you may
or not may not think it has.
It's the problems in the hearts. It's not
in the it's not in physical
things. There's still homeless people even though we
can manufacture homes much cheaper than we were
able to from before.
But, you know, on the whole, technology is
wonderful. Right? It's only done good for us.
Right?
The the the the the the mutton
that all all of algebra you know algebra
1 that you read? Not all of it,
but a great amount of it is based
on. It's the Kharizmi's Matan. Just like Euclid
is the father of geometry,
Kharisma's Matan is basically they just rehash it
and make math books out of it. Right?
It's it was the
he starts the book off. Imagine the math
book is started
and it starts with the and
then after it, he said I wanted to
give people the tools they needed to be
able to do complex,
problems,
for solving inheritance,
for solving,
for solving for Sharia law. That's what for
for what? For inheritance problems in Sharia law.
Right? They should they should put a ban
on algebra. Right?
Well, do you need to, do you need
to know algebra in order to make a
nuclear bomb?
Yeah.
That technology was really amazing, wasn't it?
What kind of weird
must have been eating pork for, like,
10 years straight 40 years straight,
disgusting, hasn't made a for the last 40
years,
satanic,
messed up mind came up with the idea
that, yeah, we're gonna make this thing. We'll
split there must be a lot of energy
in atoms and blah blah blah and uranium.
We can spin down the thing, and it'll
kill the women and children. It'll be amazing.
What kind of weird person would come up
with that? Right? Well, think about that. The
problem is not in the technology. I'm not
anti technology. Right? I have phone too. I
Twitter. I put Twitter at Wayne State MSA.
You know, it'll be awesome. LOL
hashtag. Amazing. Right? I did all that too.
Right? But the idea is the problem is
not in the technology or lack thereof for
that matter. It's where?
Where's the locus of the problem?
It's in the it's in the hearts. So
the person, anyway, coming back to coming back
to what we're,
what we're talking about from before
is that the the the the idea of
having a lot of children is not palatable
to people. Why?
Because, you know, the world is suffering from
overpopulation.
Every new person is gonna consume this much
more. Every new person is gonna do this
much more
garbage. It's gonna lead to this much more
greenhouse gases, which is gonna lead to more
global warming. Entire nations of the earth will
be submerged in water afterward, then we're gonna
be,
you know, whatever. It's gonna this is gonna
become the desert. Everyone's gonna have to move
to Alaska, and who wants to move to
Alaska, and, like, all this other stuff. Right?
Okay. Those things on you know, those considerations,
if you look at them, let's temper them
with some sort of, like,
an objective viewpoint. Okay? I agree. If you
don't if you don't have the means to
feed yourself and your country is going through
a famine, having 10 kids may not be,
like, from a planning perspective,
the greatest idea, and that's okay. It's okay
to under to to think about that. Right?
On the On the flip side on the
flip side, system wide across all of humanity,
the problem is not that we have too
many people. The problem is what? Is that
we're greedy and we're, like, racist, and we
make a line in the ground. And if
you're born on that side of the line,
you're a Mexican. If you're born on that
side of the line, you're an American. And
somehow this this is this is magical.
Right? Just like the person who thinks about
the fish flopping around in the sky and
whatever, this is also the the fish of
modernity
flopping around in the sky that you think
that actually makes a difference. That even Muslim
even Muslim Muslims
are the stuff for Allah except for except
for the one who Allah enlightens their hearts,
they're the dumbest of them all. This side
of the line is Jordan.
This side of the line is Palestine.
Iraq. This side of the line is,
Turkey. This side of the line is Egypt,
and, like, this side of the line is
Gaza. This side of the line, you're Indian
and you're Pakistani.
They see people, come on, like, really?
We will literally we've seen uncles out each
you're the same damn people, man. You're the
same people.
Okay. Do you eat roti? Yes. You're desi.
Not no different Bangladesh won't talk to a
Pakistani uncle. Pakistani uncle won't talk to them
because of partition 1971.
God knows things in a distant land that
people that, like, we never even met met
did to each other and, like,
what what is that? Right? So, yeah, according
to that sensibility, having a lot of children
may not make a lot of sense. But,
if you look at things objectively
on the whole, and they're just because a
rule has exceptions doesn't mean that the rule
is not sound. He's eating pork
haram? What if you're starving though?
Is it haram then?
What is it?
No. Oh, you see pork is not really
haram? Haram? No. That's that's a silly that's
a type of silliness. Right? That's, this is
this idea of
of of
of some people have this, and we encourage
this, actually, culturally sometimes. People want to see
mischief in the system. They hate it when
things are in order.
I suggest that that tendency in and of
itself is more harmful than it is beneficial,
although there are certain benefits to it. If
the system is wrong, then people shouldn't wanna
see it break down. If there's nothing wrong
with the system or the of the system
is better than the the good of it
is better than more than the evil, then
I don't think it's healthy to constantly want
stuff to, like, break apart. Right?
But you have this idea that what? That
those children,
right, those
children the benefits they'll give to you in
this world, the benefits they'll give to you
in the,
it's like imagine, like, like, what are the
other things that are are mentioned in the
hadith. Right?
Right? Not everyone. If everyone became a scholar,
like, you know, the knowledge that someone will
benefit from it.
If everyone became a scholar, not just in
the, like, teaching Quran and Fiqh sense. Right?
But even like your I'm teaching,
engineering because my intention is I'm gonna make
a car that's more efficient and less greenhouse
gases and kids will go to the, you
know, go to school with it and parents
will, you know, drive their, you know, people
will drive to the masjid with it. And
you'll get a lot of thawab for that.
Right?
Not everyone can be a teacher. If everyone's
being a teacher, then the entire
rest of the world will break down because
there's no one doing stuff that needs to
be done. Right? And then what's the,
what's the what's the third one?
Right? And that's really interesting. Not everybody's gonna
be wealthy enough to do something like that.
That. And even if you do what's more
what's a better for example, a person makes
a a waf, downtown Detroit. Right? They make
a an endowment
in which,
the hungry are fed.
All of Detroit's hungry are fed.
Imagine the amount of reward that person will
get. They'll be dead in their grave, their
their good deeds will become more and more,
their status will increase more and more in
the eyes of Allah
Right?
All of that all of that all of
that will be nothing it will be nothing
in come in the scale pounds on the
day of judgment in comparison to when your
son or your daughter says.
If you don't believe me, read the hadith
of Sayna Rasulullah
sallallahu alaihi wa sallam. A man will, in
the one scale pan, on the day of
judgement, Sahih hadith, you'll have 99 scrolls filled
with sin.
Each one, when unfurled, goes as far as
the eye can see.
The eye can see literally other galaxies. We
know that now.
They will be rolled up and put in
a scale pan. Everyone will think, man, this
sucker is going to *.
Okay? This is this is over. That's it.
And in a dramatic last minute scene, the
angels come and bring a What
does mean? Business card. Like a business card
or like a driver's license or something like
that. Right? They'll bring a has written
on it. They'll throw it into the scope.
You know, like in a movie, I imagine
it, like in a movie when a guy,
like, douses the whole thing, a bad guy
douses the whole building with drag from the
cigarette and they throw it, and the whole
thing goes up in flames. By the way,
that's not possible. Cigarette doesn't burn, hot enough
in order for that to be possible. But
this is something that
burn hot enough in order for that to
be possible.
But this is something that's not only possible,
this will actually happen. The angel will walk
over and flick the the the the the
the the thing into the scale pan, and
it will and the prophet says that this
is the end of the hadith, that it
and it's heavier than all that other stuff.
Okay? Imagine that. That's this is what? This
is your deen. Right? Because everybody's like, marriage,
msa, they're just gonna go and, like, get
a boyfriend or girlfriend. This type of immaturity,
this is so annoying. This irritates me to
no end. What if someone goes to MSA
and they found someone who got married? I'm
not telling you to, like, whatever, go fishing
or that we're gonna, like, pair off everyone,
get married after. I'm just saying, what if
somebody found someone to get married? They found
someone with Dean and that they have respect
for and admiration for, and they ended up
getting married. Would you object to it if
MSA if somebody,
went to MSA and started praying tahajjud?
No. Would you object
to it if somebody went to MSA and
they started fasting?
No. Would you have, object to it if
someone went to MSA and they inspired them
to go and learn?
That's what I did. That's why I'm here
in Wayne State. I'm not even from this
area.
What would you object if somebody if somebody
went to MSA and, like, it inspired them
to change their life and now they work
for, like, a relief agency or they teach
in a inner inner city school for underprivileged
kids and blah blah. Of course, you wouldn't.
Why is this thing why is this thing,
that we're just like we personally and even
like the society in general so immature that
they see it as something that's, like, so
horrible.
Why is it what's wrong with telling a
person that one of the most important things
that you're gonna do in your life is
have children?
What's wrong with telling a sister the most
important thing you're gonna do in your life
is be a mother? Is this something, like,
socially acceptable to say that to to to
a sister? The most important thing. You know?
Go
to
cancer, become an engineer, become the whatever COO
of Facebook, lean in all you want. All
of these things. Wonderful.
Nobody said anything wrong about any of those
things. But if someone
These people are behaving like villagers now.
These people are behaving like villagers now. Even
though this is the teaching this is not
only the teaching of this is not only
the teaching of revelation,
but on top of it,
a child who's not loved by their mother,
we know even an atheist will will tell
you that it's very plain to see that
that child is not going to become,
is not going to become it's gonna be
very uphill battle for that child to to
to have some some some semblance of norm
normalcy in society,
for themselves, much less be productive and help
other people.
This is one of the greatest services a
person can render. This is being a being
a good father and being a good mother.
The reason I mentioned mother first is what?
Literally literally the word rahma. Rahma means mercy.
Right? The word in Arabic,
is a metaphorical usage of the word. The
literal
meaning of the word is what? The womb
of a mother. Because the relationship a mother
has with her child, it then becomes a
standard by which a person even can come
up with the idea of mercy.
And it becomes a standard by which a
person can come up with the idea of
mercy. I'll say even one step further, if
a person doesn't understand that that what that
rahm is, there's no way that they can
understand who is Allah Ta'ala.
So hadith of the prophet sallallahu alaihi wa
sallam, that rahmah was split into
a a 100 parts. One part of which
Allah distributed to all of the creation.
Human,
jinn,
all of the creation,
angels, the animal. He says that if this
one part of wasn't there in the animals
that they the the the animal would trample
its own young, and not even care about
it. Right? So much in everything.
In, like, whatever. The boiling
the boiling temperature of water.
Water you know, if it was like other
molecules that are of its same atomic, there's
some, like, a little bit chemistry geekness in
me. Right?
Alright. If you look at look at something
that has, like, water as well, oxygen is
16 and hydrogen is, like so you're, like,
8 your atomic weight of 18. Right? So
think of something else. How much atomic weight
is there in c o two?
Where's Momo when you need him? Come on,
man. You got a organic chemistry exam coming
up, homie, and you can't even tell me
carbon dioxide?
44.
44.
So what's bigger, 18 or 44?
44. Why is carbon dioxide a gas at
at at room temperature and water isn't?
Yeah. Hydrogen bonding and all this other stuff.
If that wasn't the case, if water also
evaporated, it was, like, just as stable as,
like, a a ketone
or, or as alcohol or whatever. If its
vapor pressure was the same and its volatility
was the same, would life be possible?
Absolutely not.
This is that one part of rahma is
in all of these things. If it wasn't
there, there would be that's it. We'd be,
you know, this much closer to sun, We'd
burn up. We'd be this much further from
the sun. We'd free life wouldn't even start
much less. There would be nothing none of
us here even to burn in that in
in that scenario.
All of it is that what? And this
doesn't even mean it's 1% of the mercy
of Allah. This is just a figure of
speech because right?
We are a
a a a a a a a a
a a nation of
of unlettered people and enumerate people. We neither
know neither do we know how to,
read and write nor do we know how
to, do complex mathematics. Right? This is the
prophet
said this. It's a hadith. It's a hadith
of the prophet
that the majority of the people, this is
going to be there, they're conditioned in this
Even then, Allah loves them. Even if they
don't have a PhD or they don't have
an engineering degree. Imagine that. Right?
The idea of 99 and a 100 is
just a metaphor for, like, there's, like, barely
any rahma that that you guys have. All
the rest of it is with me.
This is a this is a sifa of
Allah It's literally the first sifa of Allah
that's mentioned.
When we begin reading the Quran, what do
you say?
This is the the foundation, the cornerstone of
your understanding who god is.
Right? If it wasn't for a mother if
it wasn't for a mother's love, that wouldn't
have been possible.
Now I I we're I'm on the board
of Khalil Center. It's a practice of clinical
psychology
based on Islamic values. We have an office
in the Bay Area. My sister who runs
it, sheikh Rami's wife. She's actually from Michigan.
Does anyone know,
doctor Rania Awad?
She she's she's an and she's like much
like Stanford,
like, board qualified,
psychiatrist, which is for those of you who
don't know what that means, she's smarter than
you. That's what it means.
Okay?
And she's a sheikha also, which means that
she's also a better Muslim than you are.
So,
so
literally literally the cases I I I I
consult with the the the the clinicians sometimes,
about the cases the cases that that are
seen. Can you imagine there are cases that
this is not like like some drug addict
off the street. This is Muslims,
People pray 5 times a day. There are
cases where mothers come into the into the,
into the practice, and what do they
say? They resent their children.
They resent their children. They say they say,
I have these bad thoughts about harming my
child,
about abandoning my child. I want
help because this is a thought that comes
to me again and again. They resent their
children because the children are, an obstacle in
their career.
They resent their children because the children are
an obstacle in their career. They're an obstacle
in their, you know, making money that, like,
you know, like, that they want to. And
the thing is that a lot of us
us are, like, really judgmental, like, oh, what
a horrible woman. No. She's she she literally
is a product of the, of the society
around it's not her fault.
It's not like a woman wakes up in
the morning and is like, yeah. I wanna
resent my kid.
She's actually there to get help because she
doesn't wanna resent her kid.
She's there to get help because she doesn't
want to. This is not one case. There
are dozens of cases like this.
And they're also in the Muslim community, less
Muslims think they're better than other people because
they're not we're human beings just like everybody
else
is.
The we carry is a gift from Allah
Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala. It's not because of how
good looking we are or how smart we
are that we have it.
This this condition, right, if a person imagine
if a person grows up like that,
and they don't know what Rahma is from
their own mother,
how much do you think the chances going
to be that that person is going to,
have a easy time understanding,
or having an of Allah
The mafasid, right? The
chaos
and
the destruction that is that will happen from
this lifestyle
of not treating these things as important. Again
again, I'm not saying
don't go to school, don't become a doctor,
don't begin. Just take these things as, like,
important. Plan for these things. Don't feel ashamed
of them. Like, this is, like, the stigma
of being, like, a villager that I'm I
you know, I'm really thinking about what is
it gonna mean one day to be a
mother? What is it gonna one day to
be a father? What type of person do
I wanna marry? Right? You know, I rather
than the the the route that our our
population seems to have adopted, there's exceptions to
it. Right? There are exceptions to it that,
you know, that that some people haven't gone
this way. But in general, many of our
like, what are suburban
middle class,
Muslims, which is, you know, which is a
great proportion of our community that they've adopted.
What is what is the harm of this?
This idea of I'm gonna get get married
after getting a master's degree or whatever. It's
literally destroying our our our families.
Islam is in the family. If Islam doesn't
work in the family to a child, it
doesn't work at all.
It you'll watch, you'll see this, like both
both parents are not giving attention to the
kid. That kid in the middle of Islamic
school would come and it's happened to me.
That's why I'm saying it. I'm not making
this up. They'll come to you and they'll
be like, I don't believe in Allah anymore.
What's wrong with me?
You'll see that same kid right when they
see their parents,
behave,
in a way that's,
not Islamic, which doesn't only mean like not
praying. It means other modes of behavior, even
if you have a beard, even if you
have a hijab, when they see that, they
come and they say, like, yeah, and you
can literally see the look in the kid's
eyes. It's like the lights have shut off.
They don't have any respect for anything anymore.
You have the idea that that child can
be your ticket to Jannah.
That child literally can be the ticket to
Jannah, your ticket to Jannah. Guess who gets
more reward than Imam Ghazali does? His mother.
Guess who gets more reward than Malik? His
mother dressed him up.
She asked him, son, what do you wanna
be when he grow up? He said, I
wanna be a singer.
Can you imagine how ludicrous that is? Imam
Malik, he's like
the. He he like, he could listen to
a lecture for an hour and then verbatim,
like, 24 hours later, verbatim, regurgitate the entire
thing word for word. What did he wanna
be when he was a kid? Said I
wanna be a singer. His mother said to
him his mother said, no. I want you
to learn the deen of Allah
She dressed him up in the garb of
the He was an orphan. He didn't have
a father. And she herself took him to
the door of the Masjid say, go sit
with the learn their and then learn their
afterward.
Who's receiving more reward than Malik,
ladies and gentlemen?
His mother.
Did she have to memorize a 100,000 hadiths,
chain of narration and text?
No. She just gave him a good word
and everything else happened on its own. By
the way, Islam Islam doesn't require Islam doesn't
require a lot of effort on our parts.
If we start practicing, a lot of it
just Allah pushes through anyway. We just have
to make like some correct decisions. At any
rate, I I want I've given a lot
of things for people to think about. I
want people to be, you
know,
mature about this topic, move on from smirking
and laughing, making jokes about it, start to
think about it seriously.
I promise you right at the age that
you're at right now, the fact that most
of you aren't married yet,
there may be a couple of exceptions,
but the fact that most of you aren't
married yet, this is already like it's like
taxing you psychiatrically.
You just don't know it yet.
It's like a person who's, like, gonna, whatever,
realize they're diabetic next year or a person
who's gonna realize next year that, like, you
know, like, you're you know, you could you
can still change it right now. You don't
have not everyone is in the same condition.
For your own personal circumstances, please make with
and with with one of the the
or somebody that has a an opinion that's
worth listening to. But this is something please,
you know, think about it seriously. If you
don't wanna get married,
this year or you wanna wait till you're
that's fine. Just think about it seriously. Make
a plan for yourself. That plan may change
change in the
may change tomorrow. It may change in a
month. It may change in a year, it
may you may try your your best to
make it happen, it may not happen. But
those those possibilities not an excuse not to
have a
plan. They are not an excuse not to
have a plan. And if one of you
insha'Allah,
you know, does this right, looks for a
person who has deen, you know, has your
done in the masjid. Yeah. I'm I I
should have been done like like, what, like,
half an hour ago. Oh my god. Right?
You know, you do all of these things
correctly,
but then again, you know what? It's to
be fair to me, not everyone came on
time, did they? Right? So,
I'm I'm wrapping it up. Right? You do
all of these things correctly.
Right? You do all of these things correctly.
You
live a life that is happy together.
That life will then last forever in Jannah.
Allah gives you a a child
or several children that pious and righteous people.
Forget about becoming Imam Ghazali. Allah give you
a child who says after
you leave from this world,
and then you may a day may come
where that child is worth more to you
than your medical degree.
Did he just say that? Yes.
More than your engineering, more than your Tesla,
more than your money. Think about that. It's
a possibility.
And instead of snickering that, oh, just go
to MSA to find a girlfriend or a
boyfriend or whatever. Instead of snickering and laughing
about that,
think about the idea that this is not
only is it something to be not be
laughed at, but this is something serious. And
this is just as much as praying and
fasting is this is So whoever, you know,
whoever,
is
is interested and whoever takes their deen seriously,
let them take this seriously. Allah
give all of us
everybody here who wishes to find ifa and
find happiness
and follow the commandment of Sayidna Rasulullah
and
and and and and follow the commandment of
Allah
and live a decent life like our forefathers
lived and live a life of someone who
Allah is pleased with, that wishes to get
married in order to fulfill that objective. Allah
All of all of all of all of
the people in this room who wish to
fulfill that objective. May Allah
give all of us so much tawfiq.
So
now the next session is gonna be question
answer session. So we're gonna have 15 minutes
for everybody and then 15 minutes later just
for the sisters.
Before we start the question answer session, there's
actually gonna be another talk question comes at
at 6 o'clock. He's gonna be talking about
staying,
spiritually grounded in in in the political climate,
because of whatever's going on in in society.
We need to learn how to how to
take back to Allah and and and,
and and have the strong the foundation.
So if you guys have any questions, you
can either ask them out loud or
or write them down in the cards and
pass them on.
Whatever. Yeah. I gotta play. Do you mind
just Yeah.
Yeah. Go ahead. I apologize.
So what's you can talk a lot about
plan.