Haleh Banani – Altruism Part 2 of 2

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Assalamualaikum. And thank you for joining me today. Last time I was talking to you about altruism, the simple acts of doing something for a complete stranger and expecting nothing in return. And it talks about the benefits, the psychological benefits, the healing effect, the fact that it reduces your stress. And now I'm going to continue with some of the other benefits. One is that it helps you to keep things into perspective. So for instance, when you go out and you help people who are in need, it makes you look at your life in a different way. Because comparing has a strong impact on your outlook. So who you compare yourself to, directly affects your life satisfaction. So sometimes

you have people who are always comparing yourself to people who are maybe wealthier or have more going on for them, maybe higher education, whatever it is, and they start feeling very inadequate, okay, and this has a negative impact on individuals. But if you start comparing yourself to people who are a lot less fortunate, and you go out and you see how people are living, and I actually take my, my children with me, and they start viewing and seeing how other people live their lives. And I think it's shed a lot of light and a lot of ingrains a lot of appreciation. Because sometimes we see people in mud houses, you see people who are running barefoot, and they're not they hardly have

anything to eat. And it really gives you a deep sense of gratefulness. And it puts things into perspective.

And it makes you actually very positive about your life. And regardless of what your circumstances are, whenever we compare ourselves to people that are going through hardship, going through difficulties, it makes you gain new appreciation for your life, it will also increase your spiritual health, you will start feeling a rush of emotion because you can't have spirituality without altruism. So if you consider yourself to be practicing and religious, then you I'm sure have some form of altruistic acts that you do. And if you don't, I think it's a great idea to start to look around and see where you can start helping those in need. And you will feel how your Eman starts

increasing. And it's a way of shifting your focus. Because, as I was saying last time, that a lot of times we have a tendency to be maybe more self absorbed, our ego tends to get all the attention. And so what we need to start doing is training our enough and training ourselves to look outside and try to help others. And this will have so many different benefits for ourselves and for others. True altruism can be seen between the muhajir ruin and unsought, the Maha tournon. Were the people the Muslims from Mecca who were persecuted and they were going to Medina to seek shelter there. They left everything they had absolutely nothing. They went to Medina and the answer were the helpers.

And what they did was incredible that they offered their homes if they had two homes, they would offer it to their brother in Islam and they would have them choose which they prefer. Can you imagine doing this put yourself in this situation where let's say a refugee from like from Libya or from Yemen or for somewhere comes over to your home you don't know them? And they come over and you start splitting everything you have in half. It's a really difficult thing to do but yet they practice true altruism. Allah says in suits and hash iron number nine, I was a bit like him and I shake upon it Reggie Bismillah R Rahman r Rahim when Medina de Beauvoir,

when he man me cobbly him you're born a man Hazara la him Walla.

Walla su pseudo de him

sirona for say him, were you through

foresee him well how can I be him how 441 au CATIA high enough see if

he can hormonal muffler Whoa. Which translates into and those who before them had homes in Medina and had adopted the faith love those who immigrate to them and they have no jealousy in their * for that which they have been given.

And they give preference over themselves, even though they themselves are in need, and whomsoever are saved from the selfishness and the greediness, that their own souls such are they who will be successful, this exemplifies how generous the people have been Sarwar. And I think that we need to look at their behavior and try to emulate it. And there's a beautiful, there's a beautiful quote that says, man becomes great, exactly in the degree in which he works for the welfare of his fellow man. So if a person wants to be great, then the more they serve other people, and this is a saying of Gandhi, that the more we serve others, the greater that we become. And if we look at the examples

that they set, then we should be much more generous and helpful to our brothers and sisters in Islam and in humanity. Also, there is an increased social support that the same goes What goes around comes around. So you find that as you're doing these kind acts, and as you're helping others, along with put certain people in your path that will also assist you. And it's not the concept of I, it's your back, and you It's my back, because a lot of times people are very calculating, and they want to do things in order to get some kind of benefit back. But if you just do it with good heart and this belief that Allah will be the one who provides not that person, you may help him and he may

have nothing to offer you whatsoever. But you know, in your heart that Allah will resolve your problem when you are in need.

And generally people will support altruistic people if you are in the habit of helping others. then like I said, Allah will provide those I had an incident just this year when I have the lower invited for the to go to Hajj. And I was concerned I didn't think I would be able to go because I had the three kids and I wasn't sure how to resolve this. But the people have the law that I had provided help as for just offered to be there for my kids and to help out. So what you find is that from very unexpected places alone will provide individuals to help you and support you in your life. So we've discussed all the benefits of altruism. Now we're going to discuss how to give back the Prophet

sallallahu Sallam said that if a person dies, his good deeds come to an end except for three things. One is a set of HRD ongoing charity, maybe a person has built a school mosque, they have done something that they will continue to get the rewards, beneficial knowledge they have taught someone and that person will continue teaching or a righteous child who prays for him. And I remember when I was in omraam, and after each prayer, they would have the the Salah janazah for someone who had passed away and each time that affected me so much as far as emotionally because what I visualized is that their book of deeds was closed, I felt that highlights they have done all that they could

have and they can add on to this so if we establish a sign up, which is something that while we are alive, we establish it then even though we die and our books are closed, then it is still going on our record and that was like a really big lesson for me to realize that we are still we still have the chance we're still alive and we can establish a setup area and it doesn't have to be something so grand and so huge as a mosque or a school it could be anything you could even teach someone how to read and that could be a solid answer if you could give a poor lady like let's say a sewing machine to learn how to sew to support herself and her family that could be saddled us Julia so we

should take advantage of it while we while we still can. Allah says in Surah Allah and Ron I am number 92 hours a Billahi min ash shaytaan FG rajeem Bismillah R Rahman r Rahim tunnelbear raha

Sabu me Mater HEB boo wama tofu Mila Shea is

no longer happy here, Eileen, that it says by no means shall you to attain piety or righteousness until you spend in a lost cause of that which you love. So if we reflect on what is it that we love, because it says that you can attain righteousness until you give up that thing that you love, what is it that we love? We love our wealth, we love our free time. We love

possessions. So if you can give of your wealth instead of possibly spending it on yourself alone, you can give it to someone in need. Or if you have free time, instead of just, you know, doing some r&r, resting and relaxing, you can go out there and actually help someone in need. And also, as far as your possessions, you know, there are things that you may love, but someone else may be in more need of it. So if you can get yourself to be detached and to give others things that you really love, then that is true. That is righteousness. So we just mentioned some of the spiritual benefits that as you do these acts, you get a rush of the mind, and how you will increase your support group.

And the example of the unsolved how they really exemplified altruism, and so we should try to emulate it. And so join me after the break, where I will continue on the topic of altruism.

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satellite channel. Welcome back, I'll continue discussing some of the ways that we can do acts of kindness. Now, establishing a set of ajaya, one of the best ways is taking care of orphans. And there's a beautiful example of a British Muslim family that I know. And they have taken care of eight orphan girls from the time that they were just a few weeks old. And they have set up a place for them, provide them with food and clothes and everything, and they visit them on a weekly basis. This is a beautiful example. So if we can take just one child one orphan child and take care of them, or take a family see what their needs are, and try to provide for them on a weekly basis.

These would be amazing saga areas and see maybe if there's a school that needs funding, or even a mosque that you can even donate a few core ons, or I remember that there was a half school in Egypt that they were memorizing, that they didn't have for ons. So what we did is we collected several 100 grants, and we took it and so this is there with them. So whenever students are coming in and memorizing you can get the Azure of helping of helping them. There's a beautiful quote by a Donald Gale that says a giving person sees a glass of water, and looks to see who is thirsty. So when someone is giving, they're always anticipating the needs of other and I think we need to be more

aware of the needs because what we have a tendency to do is to be consumed with ourselves and our needs. So as you anticipate the needs of others, then you can truly do lots of acts of altruism.

A wonderful way you can spend your weekend in gaining a lot of adger is doing volunteer work at the masjid or at a Sunday school. I remember when I was about like nine months pregnant, I was doing volunteering with my husband at the Sunday school. And I think that was some of the most wonderful memories of my life. Because just being able to reach out to children, and to be able to affect them, give them a positive outlook towards Islam or getting them to memorize even if it's one verse. It's such a fulfilling feeling. I felt that those few hours were so fulfilling and gave so much better cut into our life. Alhamdulillah you could also go through and declutter, you know, go

through your closets, go through your things, and take all the things that you don't use, or you don't wear and start donating it because we have so much and I'm talking to myself, first and foremost, so many things that I may not be using, or you're not using. So if we all get together and gather I things and give it away, then as they say that someone's trash could be another person's treasure. So something that you find just a nuisance could be such a treasure to someone. So let's go through our things and get rid of rid of the things that we don't need and give it to someone who really needs that. Another thing we can do is visit people at the hospital. I remember in the

States, they would have lists of the Muslims at the hospital and we would look up look up these patients and go in and just give our salons and it was it really lifted their spirits also here in Egypt there was the the Palestine hospital where a friend and a friend and I went right after the war we went and visited individuals who are in so much pain and so much in so much desperation but when we when we went and we visited them it was such a wonderful feeling.

And they felt so happy to get a visitor so if we even if you don't have a family or a friend in the hospital, you can just go in stop by maybe take some sweets if it's good for them or flower flowers or balloons for kids and visit them and make a sick person happy unless there's an abroad Surah Baqarah Ayah to 15 out of the bin let him finish a thought every team Bismillah R Rahman r Rahim Yes, una cama de yo Filippo Palma sapatos min height. Silence Sally Wiley Danny well up kuraby fell ill Walid anyway aka rabina Walia Tama Well, Mr. Keeney weapon is Sebby wanna find Oh, man, hi, fi law hubby. Hey, Ali. So this translates into, they ask you Oh, Muhammad sallallahu alayhi salam,

what they should spend in charity. Say whatever you spend with a good heart, give it to parents, relatives or friends, the helpless, and the travelers in need whatever good you do, God is aware of it. So there is an order and importance in who you help. So this gives us You may be wondering, okay, I have this amount of money, and I want to give it But who do I give it to first. So here is the order. And the first and foremost, your parents are the people that you should help. Second are your relatives. Because if each person is taking care of their parents and their family and the people who are closest to them, then you will find that everyone will have their needs fulfilled. So

first parents relatives than the orphans, you see that a lot put so much importance in taking care of orphans, because these are people who have no one else to take care of them. So the next is the helpless someone who is in need. And last is the traveler in need. Because if you're a traveler, and you don't have the things that you're accustomed to, or you don't know anyone that is so essential. So try to look within your life and see who is it within your family or the people that you know who need help, and try to be there for them. And I hope that this motivates everyone to do more acts of kindness, Random Acts, and do it with the NEA that good begets good. And that this will cause a

beautiful ripple effect in our oma and don't just do it for the people, just your Muslim brothers and sisters do it for everyone. I think it's a wonderful form of Dawa, when we do it for non Muslims and to be there and be helpful and to show how beautiful and how amazing Islam is and how it encourages us to do so much good for the betterment of society. There's a question from one of the viewers Hooda from Tunisia, she is doing her master's program, and she has lost motivation. In studying she has one more month to go. And she's said that she's feeling hopeless, and she's feeling frustrated, and she can't carry on and what can she do? So Heather, I wanted to let you know that

the most important thing you can do is start focusing on the end result. How would you feel once you achieve this because many times whatever it is that you're achieving, whether it's in your studies, or whether it's in dieting, or at work, and you may get overwhelmed, and you may start losing sight of your goal and you are ready to give up. But the thing you need to do at that point is start thinking about how great it would feel once you achieve a start tasting what it would be like to achieving your masters or finally attaining the weight that you've been wanting or having the business success. So start thinking about that. And also make sure that during all of this hard

work, you're taking some time to rest and recuperate. Because what happens, what it sounds like is that you're burned out, keep in mind that 1000s of successful people have had obstacles in their ways. And they've had these moments of feeling maybe hopeless or feeling frustrated, overwhelmed. But what made them successful is that they persevere. The critical thing is to persevere to push forward. And what I was saying is that you also need to take care of yourself because if you're not taking some time to rest and relax or have a little fun, a lot of fun that is then you may get burned out. So if you start taking care of yourself and persevering and keeping your goals in mind

and the feeling of what it will be like to achieve it then inshallah you can make it good luck to your sisterhood. And I encourage all of you to write in with [email protected] I would love to answer your question. Thank you for joining me

Today as salaam alaikum

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