Haifaa Younis – The Obstacles to My Journey to Allah #07 – Tongue 1
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ate a lot always justice and hunger blanc Smilla will handler salatu salam ala Rasulillah while he was so happy he will Manuela multimillion pound l en fina Vemma alum Tana indica Simeon Judwaa llama now to become an angry lion for lb Lakeisha whenever seen letters well what do I mean lives have been added to the clue whenever there is had eaten. What happened I'm living Kurama inika intello hub or be strictly solder us Sully on the wire Hello, that's me. Listen, we have covered Poli. Welcome everyone. mugshot lots about a cabal. You always surprise me savara cousin line look at this. The young is always on this side. Why is that? Because of the cheers that's okay. hamdulillah
Why don't you come the younger people come close to me so I can see my shot not America. There's some empty chairs here a
couple of things before I go to the subject of today and I want you to give me not only your heart and your brain I want you to give me your all every part in your body. Either it's tomorrow it's probably Thursday. What is going to happen on Thursday?
I want to hear one person and even online Yes, yes me.
One call Allah Allah Azza dafter whoever says I don't know have given the right answer. What is happening either Thursday or Friday? I gave you a clue.
I can hear you one person.
So there's going to be the first day of the ninja brother he said there is some echo. I hear it
okay hamdulillah Allah hit yes, he did. So either Thursday or Friday is going to be the first of the hedger. So who cares, especially this side?
Because this side you should know very well. But this side, what is what is the big deal? It's another month, first day of the month?
Anyone? Anyone? Raise your hand? Anybody?
That's the answer was not the answer.
The best days that Allah created that's a hadith of Rasul Allah salt was the best days someone created, that he loves the good deeds in them is these 10 Elijah and he called it Lashley. And that's why the verse is not one that does comes and says when February well I am in hashed by the Dawn by the 10. Knights are these scholars differ this way I want you to give me your heart. They said they are even some groups as they are even these days, the days are better than last 10 days of Ramadan.
And some says the days are better than the last days of Ramadan, and the nights of Ramadan better than the last nights of Ramadan. And the third group they say they are equal.
The hadith was the Sahaba the companion Astra Rasul Allah, so it was not even geometry sebelah not even somebody went for fighting for the sake of Allah and did not come back, died. And he said, not even that.
So don't take it lightly. Here's why. I want to remind everybody, myself number one. And if you are, I'm sure majority of you in our groups remind each other. We remind each other for a lot of things remind people about this, because when you live in the West, you don't know it. You know, because nothing changes, except when is the aid when it's out often. That's good. Suppose the problem is going to be Friday, our fine ad Saturday, or Saturday and Sunday, Allah knows. But the point is reminding each other number one, every text you send to people, to remind them of a good deed, it's a good deed for you. Let alone the person if he did it, or she did it, not only they will get the
reward, you will get the reward also, you will get the reward of sending it reminding and you will get the reward of someone doing a good deed. And what is the best good deeds is done in these days. No.
It's a vicar to Dicker in these 10 days F in general, every good deed is a good deal because he said that Amma Rosada, he said good deed. But then when you see the actions of the Sahaba so you can Abdullah Muhammad is very well known honey. I say not a lot and I want to say now Google regular used to go together and enter into the malls. These days. They call it market to do one's not because there's a sale. Not because let's go and buy let's go and have a coffee. Only one reason they enter from one door and exit from another door to remember almost pantalla and to remind people and they used to say cloud. They caught a ticket Bureau to block these 10 days you say Allahu Akbar.
Anytime everywhere in your home, in your room, in the car at work. If you are not working in a Muslim place then at least
Get inside. And then when the ad starts comes in, they called a Bureau of iron ore resource saying Allahu Akbar, after every sauna, you see it, if you come to massage it, even here, they will do it. So don't forget this, make sure you have a list of good deeds of good deeds. Everybody is different. Some people can't fast, it's very difficult. They see it and it is not easy. Some people can fast but they cannot do pmla Some people can do Quran, whatever, put a list of good deeds, good deeds with you and Allah. And don't forget the second group. What I'm gonna say,
the good deed between you and people. Don't forget this. Good deed is not only between me and Allah, it's between me and and you and you and me forgive. Pardon. This is huge good deeds. We don't look at it as a good deed. You can't fast forgive somebody who have done wrong who had wronged him. That's a good deed, give, be generous. You can't give money. You don't have enough. People are different. You can smile, you can make someone happy. You can help someone even by a good word, by a text. How are you feeling this morning? Right? The best deed I see it live being in California, which is free.
Reflect around you. And look at the beauty of Allah's creation, you probably don't pay much attention because again, when we live in a place we get used to it, the beauty behind you, if you drive on the 241 and you look at the left 20 Tennessee, mountains. How many of you look at the mountain and think of Allah subhanaw taala and then remember the verse when Allah said is worth money and I said own economy Jeeva and they asked you about the mountains. They asked you what's going to happen to them for Kalia sifu herb, Venus, tells them a lovely destroy them. Allah will make them like earthquake, feather Rohan, soft, soft, soft, it will become ashes and like plain
Earth. That's sort of how you look at a bird. You look at the weather. I mean, this is one of the new most beautiful thing in here. Again, it's very nice to talk to people who doesn't live in the same place because they see things you don't see it. I had it all the time when people come to St. Louis. I was like, what? And then when they start saying this, like it's true, I never looked at it is the changes of the weather in one day here.
You wake up in the morning, especially these days and what do you see a lot of fog. I mean, the other day, I couldn't drive literally I couldn't drive I had to stop. And then after an hour or two, the beautiful sun and the beautiful breeze and then by 12 or one o'clock, very hot, you're Allah right 90s And then by before sunset, beautiful breeze, the beautiful sun, this creation of Allah, this is all signs of Allah. This is not you and me. This is a vida This is act of worship. So make sure you all do this Hukm of Quran it's like Ramadan, do your best to read, read if you can finish one you can finish to if you're not yet comfortable with finishing at least pick up a couple of
items and understand what Allah is saying.
And Kabiru her that's why it's when when you have them sha Allah for him. Now when we talk about group Allah says it also what what hygiene in the chapter of hygiene versus time of hedge by the way, we don't feel it because we're not there. But these are the days of hedging. And Allah says so to hedge in between talking about the hedge itself is anyone, woman anybody, glorify the symbols of Allah is a sign of your taco.
And the 10 days of the hitter is is symbols of Allah. Why the 10 days Allah chose, why not the 10 days offshore. That's why it's my Taqwa I submit to Allah. Don't forget, for those of you who can fast the whole 10 days, the day you do your best to fast is out of fun out of it will wipe the sins of the year before and it's only for the people who are not on
the hajis they are not supposed to actually at all. It's fun Allah because the idea of our offer when you are there, the act of worship when you are there is
May Allah invite us I still didn't lose hope very unlikely, but you never know. What is the act of worship on Day of Arafah if you're there
dua only you only make dua, there's no Salah actually, in fact, Salah is combined and shortened. Yep. May Allah invite you all. There's nothing it's only to have he still stood at a salon to sit down from after Salah to Booker. He did it together.
He gave a hot way gave his settlement till the sunset on his crosswalk, raising his hand making dua.
It's about four or five hours, we cannot do five minutes to the point I was I'm trying to remind you because by next week if Allah give us life, and our lead to the hotshot already entered, so take advantage is not time for having fun, we're doing this we're doing that. It's exactly like the nights of Ramadan. If not, even as I said, Some say it is more. So make a covenant with Allah do your best to act differently, even dressed differently, literally dressed differently for Allah, more pleasing to Him. Hamdulillah we all do that, but let's do it even more, you know what I'm saying? And I say this to myself before anyone any law here on Minkee the best show Allah the best
of you. You know, when you get invited to somewhere, or somebody is coming to your home, and you're so happy, and you want to show them the best, we all do that do this and attendees inshallah deserve Allahu Allahu Allah made me remember, because I really want and I was like Allah, please don't make me forget. And with me starting late, the possibility of forgetting is high.
So we're going to end up this series, with the most important you know, they always say what, they lead the best
100 They leave the best for the last. And the best here, in fact, is not the best. But it is the most common and the most challenging, and the most difficult to change. And the least looked at as a problem.
And before I start anything, what is the communist word when someone looks at you says Don't say that? Whoever is that person? What is the usual response? What did I say?
What is the big deal? It's just a word. Don't we all do that. And we get upset when people get upset like why you're so sensitive. Right? And that was why they sought to Sam said this hadith.
And no this hadith Yanni, at least the meaning, the meaning of that the human being allowed the servant of Allah will say a word, kill him and he said they under Kobe Kelemen killing one more
layer
does not pay attention to it. And what happens? One word
will put him in or her injure one word, and the opposite is true. What is
one word? So whenever someone tells you what did you say? Take it I think they could be wrong. But they could be alright. And all of us and I have no doubt. Otherwise you will not be here with this beautiful number. If you don't all want to go to Ghana.
If I asked you I'm sure I will. I will see not 10 or 100 hands. I'll see two undertones. And one word can put me to Ghana. And one word can put me and the hellfire.
Now, as I explained to you last time, it stung something Allah talked about.
It's either yes or no I don't know.
And I'm gonna learn more. I mean,
when you sign an OSHA for time, why do you now have an edge day and what is the next day by Dr. Harmon Acaba, Wilma at the rock? My laptop Let me translate a lot. This is a very common theme in the Quran. They call it a stiff hum is the clarity there's a question rhetoric and don't answer
so Allah says Allah Masha Allah Who are you name didn't we make to him or created to him human being I name twice and look at the next thing when he Sanan tongue or shafting lips. That's it.
He didn't comment on anything else. Subhana it didn't say hands. Who didn't say legs didn't say body
that part took one area
and then next Philip Kahala Oba he did not or he may jump the obstacle.
Acaba is an obstacle
and Allah says one adelakun laka what is the obstacle and then he started talking for Karaca orthogonal for Yom in the Moscato you free and a slave audio feed. Now, combine what I said with what we are talking for the last six weeks what is the topic of the series
obstacles to add
to, to my journey to Allah. And this is what he said, the obstacle before the obstacle he talked about the tongue and the lips. So number one thing you need to remember that this creation of Allah can get me. Number one is an obstacle, but at the same time can get me to Jana.
And at the same time can get me on a path to the hellfire. One two, we are here, one knows for how long and then we are going there is only one certainty in this life.
Everything is a possibility, true or false? Everything is a possibility. Yes. Let me hear you. What is the only certain thing that hamdulillah who said so?
Allah, wa Buddha Rob Baka Hetalia Tia Kellyanne P. Allah said this at the end of solitary vigil, worship your Lord till you are clean, he said. So Timothy, I think if you translate the word serenity comes to you. And all the scholars tells you, you have to certainty in this verse is that so here I am, I am in this journey A to Z. A is the day I was born, z is the day I will go back to Him always said go back to him to make to look at death differently.
Because if I say death, I get scared.
Right? Very scary. But if I say I'm going back to him, I have more hope him or
in in this journey in this journey. My goal is to go to him as we said Umbra like gapping up what we have learned so far. My goal is to go to Allah's pantheon. He is pleased with me.
But that's not easy. And he create he put him in on on this earth, the obstacles. What are the obstacles we so far studied? This is number seven, Tilly Bismillah one, first one. We said, I want to hear it. This life dunya. And the dunya is not the life is what's in this life. And what is the two things in this life?
Children and wealth. These are my obstacles. They take me away from Allah, they make me disobey Allah, or they make me accept the disobedience of Allah. Remember, these three, each one of you, myself included, have this in our life. There's somebody in my life, who either they disobey Allah and I don't say a word. Why? Because I love them. Or I'm too shy to say it. Or they may change on my nose when for years they didn't change, maybe now they will change. And I know they will not. But it's easier to say this. Or they this or or they don't obey Allah I see it and nothing happens to me. They don't pray. They don't dress properly. They do everything that Allah doesn't want. And I'm
fine. Allah is horrible. So people so dunya is children the closest and money this week to we talked about, which is similar to I just said, People attachment, attachment to other than Allah, everything is more important than Allah.
And I want you to remember this word, don't say it to people. I'm sharing it with you. You're like, you're my sisters, say to yourself, is everything more important than Allah?
And if you are truthful with yourself, the answer is
it's a painful answer. This is true. What is the answer? Yes. Yes. Because when the choice is comes in, and I need to decide, and every day in my life, it's a decision. It's usually what I like what I what I want to do with everybody else is doing what's good for my business, but not what pleases Allah or what will help is Dean. What will spread Islam? No.
It's like a business. Number three, week three, we start talking about us. Arrogance, and the best.
And I'm wanting to create it nobody like me. I don't say it, but I act. And this makes me it's obstacles because I will disobey Allah as Shavon disobeyed Allah and he was cursed and asked to leave Jana. So it's an obstacle week for
sure show off. Big one big one. I do. I speak I don't do I don't speak to impress.
What did they say about me? And I get upset when they don't say it about Don't say things about me. I don't do it for Allah. And I know Allah who rewards me? No doubt. Do you have a doubt Allah will reward you for your any good deeds you do for him.
I want to hear it.
Then why don't we do it?
Why do we always look at people? What will they say? Why they will not say so for show off five?
anger, anger. And why do I get angry? Because people don't listen to what I say. Not because they don't do what a lot once. Please remember these I keep reminding you because unfortunately, sometimes not. Sometimes we have all the times we forget fabric that gear fanatic rotten fall not mean remind them reminders, benefit believers, all of us last week. Jealousy, jealousy, which also from anger. And it's all from also rodents. So let's come today
Bismillah.
I'm going to talk about the positive first. How about that.
And then today, part of the negative and next week is how La La planned to be in the last two the 10 it's going to be backup I think next week.
You always leave the best for the last year Smead. That's what they say.
So what is the virtues? What is the best way that my tongue will get me to Jana? Let's see this question I want to always the best way. non negotiable. I say that to myself. No way it will fail me
jaillet jaillet Don't speak.
A summed they call? No way you will make a mistake. Right? Right. If you're not saying anything, you will not make a mistake. What is the possibility since you said vicar? What is the possibility when I'm speaking and I want you to analyze your words. And of course I do this number one, I should do this for myself. When we speak in general. What is the percentage of what we speak? Is dhikr of Allah in general, not a class.
I love the youth are smiling because
she's putting her head down. Cuz she knows the answer.
Percentage. You're getting you're getting you're sitting on a dinner table. No harm. I'm not talking about how long what is the percentage we're talking about the law
5% Hamdulillah.
So what is the best and the 95 we're going to come to it is not haram. What is waste?
So if I stayed silent, this is the best. And the Rasul Allah saw to set himself up following Hadith whomsoever men or woman the guarantee to me to him what's between his two Joe's jaws? And between his two thighs I'll guarantee for him Jana
Holmes whomsoever guarantee you have to Monday, madness, okay. Between the jobs, what is between the jobs?
mouth and between the thighs? Private part?
Guarantee meaning protect and guard or guarantee for them gentlemen?
Have you heard this hadith before? You don't like you? Not yet, because I can see Alhamdulillah this is good. Number one. How many of you if I asked you a question right now? Do you think your iman again This is between you and Allah subhanaw taala is about 90% 80% 5060 I will say more because you're here. You're here. But he said that you're starting Iman or abd your iman will never be straight 100%
it my faith, all my faith, Hector is starting until unless your heart is a straight, straight meaning on the right path. I do I think what Allah wants me and now look at the connection with a tongue and your heart is never straight unless your tongue is a straight
because they say how many of you cook in this room?
Right some like it, some don't like it. That's a different story. But we have to do it. And they say that tongues are the spoon of the hearts.
hamdulillah some of you got to the point. They say it's like a spoon off a pot. What's in the pot? Or come the spoon?
So if my tongue is a straight did you get the point now 100. If my tongue isn't straight, that means my heart is. If you don't like someone internally, it's very hard for you to praise them.
You're stronger.
to I have to say this, like it's okay.
But if you love them, it flows. Right words comes out. So look at your tongue. What's your tongue is singing is a reflection of what your heart is.
This is a very famous hadith of Roswaal risotto. Samson say in the wild, it's a long tally. At the bottom line of it. He said the other saw a lot. Oh, he hold he held his tongue. It's a long Hadith. And he said the bottom line of all this deep cathodic shahada, he held his tongue of Ashanti, salted Saran cinema, he said, control this, control us and say no more has said yes or no. Are we going to be taken accountable? For what we say? On our own?
Or are we going to be taken accountable? What was the answer?
The critical Okay, and what may your mother more knew? It's a figure of speech in the Arabic language, meaning what are you saying?
Of course, and then he gave us a statement.
Write it down. And every time your OP may make me the first one to do this, before I speak, I remember this. What else he said to him? What else will put people's face in the Hellfire other than the harvest of their tongue?
What else will put people in the Hellfire other than the harvest of their tongue?
No, he's not talking about non believers. He's talking about Muslims, because he's talking to say either Maha Sahabi. Meaning I worry about my son or my car, my relationship of Hola, but I don't worry about my tongue. And he's telling him it's the most important thing is what you say. And it's not for only what you say, what do they say in this country? Very common statement.
It's not what you say. It's how you say it is not what you say is how you say it. So it's two things. Now.
Saying that with that said the following How many? How many eyes we have? I mean, how many years we have
back to and how many years? Have two how many tongue one? So he said look at this, he said be just
between your tongue and your ears. You have two ears and one tongue. What does that?
What does that mean? I want to hear it.
So it needs to be 50% 50 No, exactly. It needs to be 60 I mean 6333 For Americans 100 meaning listening should be double that one. I speak.
Listening in I want you all and I always do this to myself. Not all the time. I remember when I was like, I wish I can record and see how much I said them and how much I listened.
Because the more I listen, the more I am fairer to my tongue and the possibility of me making a mistake is less is not negative. But it is less unsavoury. Just listen. Have you seen us when we speak I know I know. I didn't even finish the sentence yet. Right? Oh wait, wait wait am I telling you what I have? She didn't even finish the story which so eager to speak and that's what he said we just now let's come to what is the problems with the speaking
what are the problems are the quality the defense of speak? Who can tell me that about 12
Don't tell me backbiting we'll talk about next week.
What is I'm sorry?
Lying
at 12
I only have two
Mashallah.
Okay praising yourself playing
level
That's the first one. That's the first one at Columbia, Humana, Jonnie, memorize this hadith and if you don't want you better and if you know what remind me and I remind you, when Hosni Islam in modern Turku melayani A sign of your good Islam and my Islam is you stay away from things that does not concern you.
Sign of your good Islam in good faith is not what you address or how much Salah you do in the night. That's another one. But this is daily is you stay away from things that does not concern you. Give me an example something doesn't concern me but I talk about
or I asked about it.
Can someone just make sure the camera is
connected because I think the battery won't die.
Give me an example.
It's the battery is Yeah, so it says not hooked. Can you hook it? Because it's Yeah.
Yeah, not Raisa. Can you please make sure the battery will die?
And the people online? Yeah, he's coming. He knows how to do Yeah, exactly. No. Okay, this Mila, please forgive me. But the people online has a right on us. We have more than 200 people online. Hamdulillah. What is the sign? What is something I talked about? And it is not my business? Let's speak our language.
Just just loud.
Yeah, I know. But give me an example. I'll give you an example. Happened to me. I was in a bus in our last trip and we were all woman. So the woman in front of me was the woman next to him. Right? Both very righteous people. And again, we don't do it for a bad intention. It just habit.
So the woman older lady asked me the younger lady. Okay.
How many children you have?
And the woman said, I don't have any
house wide.
So is your husband alive?
And you know what she answered?
So do you know the hadith of you know, the most beloved Hadith I love about the Roswaal assaulters the real heavy I love it. She caught in this one.
Man Hosni Islam in Turku monogamy. A sign of a good faith. Is that a human being stay alive? are so smart. And the woman said nothing. What you will say about the hadith of Swami Santosa.
That's called.
That's called the woman who knows her D and use it. She did not insult her. She did not say that's not your business. That's not nice. It's an older lady. And I'm sure the lady is just you know, me starting a conversation. Most of us just do it. But the way she answered I was smiling. Like yes. Yeah. What teach me what you thought. So put this on your phone, on your computer. In the house. Don't ask people how much you bought your house for.
Right.
Where is your daughter going to college and you will have no daughter and all your daughter has graduated long time ago. Why?
And hosting Islam as Colombo, Sri Mulyani. It's a disease it's an obstacle to my path to Allah, my path to Jannah how many obstacles we have just in this one?
How many you all are quieting? Oh, this is good. 100 and I'm glad I'm glad I'm mentioning this. So that's number one. No commandment Hakim? You know Lachman signal OMA everybody, and why? He's called the wise. Allah, the Athena, your commander hikma, Lhasa, it's in surah. Chapter lokmat Wehrli what has given the command wisdom when I have an example of his wisdom, right. And he was asked what brought you what made you that wise? He was asked what color of skin he had.
He was black. They see your sleeve.
So there is quote unquote nothing external status. And they said what made you that wise?
Two things he said more but I'm gonna give the two things related today. He said number one, go to sound. I stay quiet for a long time. And number two, I never asked about something that is not of my concern.
So he said in a download
Sitting down with what profession he had.
Don't make me sad.
Other than of course, he's gonna be what what did he do?
I can't hear
one person.
What did he do? Don't think give me the iron. What was his profession?
Right What was a professional? So Allah gave him the ability that iron makes so soft for him. And he was able to use it to make things from it. Right. And one of the things he was very good in making his shields for the war. Okay, so So yesterday, man, a second local man came past by the shot of Satanists arena of Satan it out. And he saw him doing this shield in him. And this story you read, it's everywhere. And him she really wanted to ask why he's doing this. Why we always like why she's cooking today, for example. And his hikma his wisdom helped him. So he didn't ask the moment he didn't ask Steve Nadal would lift up that shield looked at him and says, What's a beautiful shield
is this for the war?
He gave him the answer.
And then say even a Laquan said this. And this is very commonly quoted one of his wisdoms are sort of carried on try some staying quiet, silent is wisdom. And very few can do.
Very few can you every time. This is very common question. Probably you will have it but let me answer you. So I stay quiet all the time. And people will think I'm depressed.
Why what what is wrong with happening? When do I speak then? When do I stay silent?
And it's said it's made me say not well, Herrera said it or so I asked her how he said, he said,
Whenever you feel you want to talk, don't talk. And when you ever feel you don't want to talk, talk. You don't when you're not in the mood. Somebody say how are you fine.
Anything happened today? Nothing. You know your answer one word. People say what's wrong with you. I'm not in the mood. You answered. Let's versus when you're in a good mood and you want to talk, get a good news. And right away you call somebody what is going to happen. On and on. And on and on. So when you feel you want to talk, hold it.
And when you feel you're not in the mood to talk. So that's one number one.
What is number two? Now we're going to get a little bit more serious. It goes it goes up higher as we go. What is number two? Problem? Talking?
It's the kind of the talk now.
They got a hold of a button. You talk about from
you talk about how
did you see the movie yesterday? Did you see this? And this and this in it?
Did you see the ad? And did you see this? And this and this? Did you watch that series? And they did this and this and this?
And every this and this and this is?
is
there's no, there is no different opinion.
So be careful enough for me and I'm not gonna say about you enough for me. I'm watching home. Now I want to go and talk about it and make a little noise and talk about it in a way. So beautiful. So I make others do it. And remember this hadith of Francois de Santos Manson that hasn't gotten pretty Stanford so ever starts a good deed a good sunnah a good action. He has the reward of it and the reward of everyone who doesn't like I shared with you in the beginning. So be careful when you tell people go and watch. Go and see. Did you see the concept? Did you know about it?
And remember, whoever is going to follow the your footsteps, you will be asked about And the opposite is true. So I hold off in Belton. Don't talk about haram. Not Your words are haram something is already *.
Like you go for it. For example, you get invited and you see things in the house.
Even if they are public, don't talk about it. It's
what you will get. That could be the word that I shared with you in the beginning that put us
or put me
Whatever we love all of us may have been protected in the Hellfire in the hellfire. Number three
what is it?
argumentation?
I know I know I invite
Don't teach me. No, no, no, no, no, no, it's not this way. Have you seen this? Does that sounds familiar?
It's not this way. It's this way. And guess what they argue with you is something you know very well, I have people argue with me in medicine.
And they never went to medical school.
No, no, no, no.
And they can say Doctor Haifa was like, so they acknowledge on the physicians.
You know, so this was my daughter when she delivered
I say nothing.
Oh argumentations and specially to prove you are right.
Even if you are right,
even if you are right, but you keep arguing to prove that you are right. And the person next was your topic is wrong. Where did this come from?
Arrogance. I am better. And my opinion is right. And the LA soiree salatu. Salam says
abodo rejecting the law, the most hated human beings to a
man or a woman alone to Hassan, the argumentative
with harshness?
Have you seen people when they are young children? Woman, a man and a wife, the husband and the wife, two siblings, two friends.
I have to call them right. And my turn number one will change. And what's next change?
The words, the words I use, and you can see how it's escalating. And when it escalates, what did we learn? When we talked about arrogance? When it's escalate? When say Dahmer was so upset?
What should we do?
Leave? Is that anger? Leave? Don't answer at all. Once you answer, we're not angels. I have no this 100% control and filter. I don't. And you don't, especially when emotions are high.
So two, three, they call it this is a very nice or in Arabic at the office can you speak and your choice of words is to impress people. You choose words, half of the people don't know what you're saying.
laughing while you're laughing? Because it's true.
Right at the end, so it's like showing off elegant speech. Not
not an imam. That's different. Not you're giving a talk on the contract, you have to choose your words, but I'm talking about in general, sometimes I thought What did she say?
was like I need to go and look at the dictionary. What is this words? Why these words? Why not something simple salamati
Easy, simple. And have you for a soiree sort of sinner who wants to be close to or so and so, on the Day of Judgment.
What should we do?
As a hadith, or karamba Commedia match descended OMA Jerison the closest among you to me to him a slight twist on the Day of Judgment whom
who I want to hear it
No, that's one house in Jana.
A house in a coma?
The best among human character
the best among human character. And now the opposites what we are talking about what about the community? What about the community Medusa the ones that I don't like most or dislike most imagine you and me and I saw this autocentres let her go away for fine. Your hola What did I do?
The person
speaks and I see it in our B is an micelle Wacom UCLA are the worst in character and cell phone those who talk too much.
Talk too much. Not yet. The type of talk just the amount. There's a quantity and quality. Remember this the quantity is too much quality. I want to shut down on those who are booths
Fill about themselves. They praise themselves. So annoying. Have you seen it? I hope none of you are
on the best cook no one doesn't like me. Oh, when I clean I do it spotless to zip code unphysical don't praise yourself who
he is well aware of who's the best among us this life cross it from your words don't please yourself that Allah praising and if he wants to praise you will bring it to you. So number one worse than for this people from Roswaal is Santosa number one worst character number two, those who are boastful and number three those who speaks in a way to show they are better than people.
Whether it's the body language, or whether it's the words it's a disease, it's an obstacle which will prevent me makes my journey to Allah much harder. Have you thought of that?
Have you thought that all these pull me away from Allah? No, you know what we always think I didn't pray properly. Right? I didn't fast on one and finish my Quran which is a true they are but these are also and to be honest with you. Handling these is easier than the other ones because it's my daily life. I don't have to do extra just control my tongue. Think I had a friend who used to say my friend Oh fund
or have you listened to her is like what she says her tongue needs a filter.
says how she said that to me. She said I wish you throw it you put the words before comes out in a filter. Anything that is not pleasing to Allah or not making people feel good stays
and only the good ones comes up. It's a very nice actually vulnerable. Imagine this. Imagine here a filter. That things that comes out is
pleases Allah make somebody better human being happier. make somebody smile in reality, not in exaggeration. So you have this.
Number five
I think somebody said it in the beginning, joking.
Too much joking. Not joking. It's too much to us. Pamela 730. Too much joking. There was one is sort of some ever made a joke.
Yes, I know. Yes. No, I don't know.
Okay, Yasmine. Bismillah. What did he say Ali? Salatu Salam
is a very famous joke. It was with a woman. It was with a woman you should know it.
I can't hear you.
He didn't say it this way. So an older lady came up to her.
And she said, Well, I go to Jana. And he said no, and he smiled. Y'all law.
This is me, I'll be dead.
Of course, the woman starts crying. Of course, she starts crying imagine. And then he smiled and he said, no old lady will enter Jannah everyone, when they enter gender, they will be young. What is the age and gender? Hamdulillah 33. What is the age beauty? So he did make a joke. But he made a joke. To make people feel better. Something related to Allah, something bring people close to Allah. What do we joke about?
What do we joke about? Half of the jokes are lying.
Part of the jokes are elegance.
Part of the jokes are to impress people to give an impression.
And the rest is to be part of the group
to fit in, as they say.
Joking is beautiful. Actually, it's a sign of smart, smart people usually make jokes, but to the point and as needed, as I just told you, right.
And his jokes are you sought to Samos or war with older woman and with children.
He didn't joke with him. Why?
No.
That's not the best answer about the law. swaddle surface and I'm not gonna say it.
No, that's not fair.
That's not fair. Let's not do that.
hamdulillah that's a disease of the tongue.
That's what the heart has just came out Alhamdulillah it's like a practical example. Because let me say one thing, what I feel inside me, or what I went through my life as experiences is not general.
It's not you, it's not everybody. So when I make a general statement, I have to make sure that the general statement is general. When I say this group of people never do this than I am absolutely
wrong. If you do multiple choice questions, you all know this. If the question has the word never or always the answer is false. That's one of the clues they teaches you because nothing is never and nothing is always.
But he did not joke with a man because
he was a wrestler he saw to say
he has a mission.
And he said, Now Telemundo Ray tomorrow eat if you see what I saw. You will never make a joke. And you will never have a desire for a woman.
Lover hackaton Alina Oba Kato cathedra Mamata Butler commonly said he would have laughed little this is he said that after he came back from strong when he saw the hellfire and the punishments you all know. And he said, You will never have a desire to drink.
And you would have cried on what? You had no desire for a woman because he saw reality.
So this for me when I translate as a woman, who should I talk with?
And when and how. So it doesn't mean I'm going to be too serious all the time.
But everything remember last week, I told you everything you do, and you say has to serve a purpose? And what is your purpose? That's the question, what is your purpose in this life?
Not only to worship Allah to live happily, in the way pleases Allah and make my life I mean for me to get to China. So even my joke has to be solving this. You probably get told me this is very difficult, right?
Yes. Which is true. You know why? Because we're not used to it.
If you ask somebody who runs five miles a day, they said I was beautiful. We enjoy it. It's fun. I feel so good. After you say what? I will be dead after two, three or four days. Because we're not used to it. This is why we're learning doesn't mean today you learn this tomorrow you're gonna be the person almost pantalla wants to see but I am in that process. Now you've learned. I've listed Liliana Munna one of the Enya animal. Are they the same? The people who know and those who don't know? The answer is no, there's no answer in the Quran? Because the answer is clear. So joking. Don't joke too much. Because joking too much will
remove the oil from around you.
What you joke with children always make them feel comfortable. Don't be too harsh. Have you seen this? Some of the children's don't like to memorize Quran you know why? Because the teacher never.
Now, yeah, they always tell you this, ask your children, they don't smile. They don't play basketball.
They are so serious. And they make the Quran not lovable, which we should be the opposite. The last but not the least. So I can give you some time. For example, mocking people and making fun of people.
This is a huge disease.
Making fun of people and mocking people. It's a sign off.
Our hands are a sign of arrogance. Why do I make fun of you? Why do I put you down because I think I am better. Don't mock people. Don't. You don't like them? Don't say anything. You don't like them? Don't say anything. Don't interact with them if you have to because they are real blood relatives and minimize it. Minimize. But don't make fun of people. Do you see how she dress? Brother Eisah same test every week. Hamdulillah.
What today we have a backup plan
that's okay.
Sakamaki Subhanallah I've always said this. Anytime I teach something a lot, test me right away on it. And I'm I started this week on Saturday. It's a four weeks course about trials and tests and tribulations and SubhanAllah. From Saturday till today, including I started late, I forgot something, the mic doesn't work. So you always have to remember because Allah test you as you learn. And as you teach Allah test you with it. And the reason he tests you, because he wants to see in me the time sincere, that I want him more than anything. So we're going to stop here today, next week. I hope I see you. It's going to be backbiting get ready, is the ash. So hopefully, we're gonna start
speaking plus, turn off the phone more. Because it's the biggest way of speaking these days. We don't speak, we actually do voice notes. Or we voiced Voice Note or we voice not but typing, right? Or we post this is all talking by the way. So cut down on that and do a lot of the kicker, that tongue can do one function at a time can do too. So either I am using it for Hala or I'm using it for home. So let's keep it busy with the remembrance of Allah. A lot of Salah or Swati salatu salam, for example on Friday. A lot of Stefan has suffered a lot. And you know, what's the stuff?
Most Beloved word, every act of obedience we do to Allah Allah asked us afterward to say this. It's wives, it's clean. It's like a purifier. So a lot of stefarr glorify Allah look around you look at the beauty say subhanallah read Quran if you don't have a lot of time to read Quran listen to Quran instead of listening to the to things which are not I wouldn't say haram but would not get me close to Allah. Let me listen to listen to machine, listen to something that will make you a better human being in the sight of Allah subhanaw taala and may Allah subhanaw taala give us life to live to see the 10 May Allah Subhana Allah give us the reward of Hajj for those of us who really wanted to go
but he did not invite us for a reason was Karim and that was pan out Allah make us always have those people who want to learn and not only wants to learn but wants to apply and change. European design the law highlights panic a lot more behind the shadows that you the heartland stuff we'll cover today. So the law was saved now Muhammad, whether it was Harvey to steam and Kathy era, we have about 10 minutes for questions or comments.
Yes.
What? Yeah.
Suppose
Oh, so you're talking about backbiting?
So you're in therapy, and you have to talk? Right?
How was it? Okay, that's a very practical, common question. There's two things. Look at it here. There's something called venting.
And there's something called syrupy, absolutely two different things. Venting, I got upset with you pick up the phone on my phone. I said, you don't know what you did to me.
That's venting. This is the key for backbiting. It will end up seeing way more things that I should say. Therapy is a different story. The therapy is between you and the therapist only. And this is an Amana, they actually, you sign papers. If you know this HIPAA equality, HIPAA law, you sign, that person should not go out and talk if he or she did they violated your right and the law. So that's a different story. There's always exceptions to the rule in this Dean is what is the benefit? What is the benefits of this? But in general, I'm talking about venting, be very careful about venting. Because venting usually, usually will make me say way more than I should.
And try to avoid names.
Because once you speak about names, we're in big trouble. Now we are in backbiting
venting in a session.
Is she telling you or he's telling you vent?
Can you use Okay. I'll give you an example. I shared this with one of my friends last week, a man divorced his wife.
They came to him and says Why did you divorce your wife? Very common question. What did he answer?
He said I don't talk about somebody who's not my wife.
And then they came to him and they said she got married to another man.
He said, I don't talk about the wives of other men.
That's the goal.
So can I say it in a better way? Number one is always waste to say something, right like a Salam Alikum that's good. Salam aleikum? Wa Rahmatullah. That's better. Said Imani come rahmatullah wa barakato. That's the best. So can I say it in a better way? Can I see it? And again, I'm giving you the ideal answer. May Allah make us do it? Can I see it? And I can see Allah is listening to me. How would I say it?
If I can practice this before I go for this is easy because that's a therapy I'm going towards so I need to prepare myself and always I say this to myself before anyone I always say this dua to Allah before I speak your Allah matakauri be mildly Thank you Allah making me speak what pleases you.
Honestly, because he's the one who's going to protect you. It's not to me or my, my smartness, my intelligence. It's his him Subhana so always had this connection, make me speak what serves the purpose and pleases you? And may Allah teach us your BME?
Yes, please go ahead.
And they are asking me for assistance. But let's say there's two people and they're not getting along. Okay. Very common scenario. This happened a man and wife, husband and a wife, a brother and a sister, right? Two co workers, anything that you are together, where they you are, they're coming to you as the judge, or to help you it's very common, all of us does it, especially when it comes to them says Did I do right? did I violate the rights of the other person? Number one, remember this, that the Hadith 100 Now I just remembered that Subhanallah Ohioan when law enforcement say good, or stay quiet,
had this is like this is one of the Joana headcanon. This is one of the eloquence of a Swati salatu salam was given, he was able to use very few words, but means gems. So can I say number one, I say to myself,
always say good, that pleases Allah. Without lining without sugarcoating. Always try to make the don't when somebody comes to you and have a problem. Don't say to them. Oh, really?
And and what did you say? Because that's going to make them feel they are alright. And they will go on, you always say them to say the other way around. Could I be wrong? So you ask them, could you have said it maybe in a not the best way you normally speak?
Maybe you weren't upset? Maybe they didn't mean it this way. You know what I'm saying? Yanni say it's you will be a key Remember, a key of hire, a lot more journeyman fatty will fail. They're not always making me a key for goodness. Can I do that? And then if I see, and this is where you have to be very alert, if I see the conversation is going in the wrong direction. It depends who's asking me if they're close to me. I'm gonna say You know what, this is not pleasing to Allah. This is becomes she said, he said, hadith of rasa salatu salam said the following. In Allaha Karianna considers Allah does not like you doing these three carry him he dislike that you do the following. What is
this? Do you note?
Number one, a lot of 20 Man wastefulness of money specifically wasted money. What camera to swallow too much questioning, asking.
Asking people. How did you do? How was it? What did you help? Too much? He didn't say don't Katra too much working on. She said he said, Did you hear what's happened? Already? Tell me more. That's as an ally doesn't like. So when people come to me, my goal is to bring people to bring people together. I think I've shared with some of you. When people come to me and the woman wants to ask for divorce. I always ask this one line.
I say you told me where are you more pleasing to Allah without details inside the marriage or outside the marriage? And if you don't, if you don't, if you cannot answer me today, go and think about it and come back. That's your answer. To stay or to leave.
Make them always remind them of Allah always. My beautiful sisters say what please
Allah, remind them of Allah don't say what pleases you, or what pleases them. What pleases Allah subhanaw. Again, it's not easy. But the fact they came to you that means I trust you, and hamdulillah and I need to be up to that trust. Yes, yes, me. Of course you have to ask.
Doesn't matter, they are not Muslim is the same. Yes, you do the same. On the contrary, how are you going to teach them about Islam? is the way you act and you speak.
Last question.
Alhamdulillah. Is that good news or bad news?
I don't know if there's Yes.
Yes, sir, yes, this coming Sunday's are the last like, like the last 10 nights of Ramadan? Yes.
Do you say? Well, if you do good deeds, differently good. What about if I do bad deeds, there's two things.
There is nobody says it's worse. But there is, number one, I did a bad deed. So I'm going to be asked about it. It's a sin. And I lost opportunity of a good deed in these past days. So it's double in this way. But there's no Hadith says if you do this, if you do a sin in these 10 days, it's worse. But I lost an opportunity to do a good and the best days to do a good deed is these days. So do your best, the best thing you do, and I share it with all of you is avoid gatherings, avoid socializations because socialization is the biggest problem. We all feel we all fail, right? Just because you know, just have to talk or eat. And then we don't know, we don't even pay attention.
Avoid it. The only socialization I highly recommend, and we used to do it all the time in St. Louis, is remind people of fasting and invite them for Monday and Thursday. Or send them food.
And you say, Do you want me to send the food before Mahabharata tomorrow? So gentle way of reminding them to fast? Yeah, actually, I learned from one of my teachers. They didn't say they were fasting as like, when do we serve the food?
And he said, it's up to just before marble after model, meaning
they were fasting. So 100 lack of a brand? May Allah subhanaw taala. Again,
there's a question here. Most common thing happening on social media is bullying. May Allah reward you? Yes. What is bullying?
Please forgive me. I'll take a little bit more time because this is extremely important. May Allah reward you we Asami what is bullying?
Now,
what is bullying?
putting people down by words, making fun specially of things, they have no control. The way they look, the skin color, the accent,
right, if they are overweight or underweight or they could be completely right weight, but people make fun of them. And this is constantly if you have if you have seen the last couple of shootings, unfortunately, the school shootings, the shooters were bullied,
those who have committed suicides online, they were bullied online.
This actually if if humanity I wouldn't say Muslim, if humanity applied or higher on Well, law enforcement say good or stay quiet, we will have no This concept will be none existing, non existing. I can change the world but I can change me. And I can we can each one of us can change you don't think of other people. If I can change me and you change you and you change you the result is beautiful community. She each one of us will act and speak the way it pleases or Swati salatu salam Alhamdulillah. So bullying is a big problem. Absolutely a disease of the tongue. It's actually originated from a disease of their heart. It's the origin of bullying is is either anger or
arrogance.
Anger, they were bullied, they responded or they are angered. And by the way, one of the biggest bullying we do
is wear
a tones
to our children.
We put them down.
Go and look at yourself in the mirror. And especially when we compare them with the other siblings or with the cousins
and they get so angry and frustrated. They can't answer in the whole
They can't do it in school. It's most commonly the people who bully others, they are abused. So it's a sequence of things. So start with your home and start with yourself. Don't put them down when he gets so upset we all do that. Don't and remember the tongue and may Allah subhanaw taala make our tongues all of us and need for us not only to get closer to him, but it's a means to get us to join Europe. Vianney is Aquila Hieron Subhana Coahoma will be handing a shadow leg Sofia COLA to boudic Salah la vida Sade now, what are the here was happy to steamin cathedra next week will be our last class in sha Allah and who is it? And then inshallah we will talk about as I said, backbiting
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