Habib Bobat – The Fiqh Of Intimacy Part 6 – Foreplay A

			Yes, the feeling of intimacy. And let's start off by doing a recap of the previous program. Last
time we spoke about personal hygiene, and we mentioned that it is imperative that both partners are
meticulous when it comes to personal hygiene. And we said that you don't want to get intimate with
your partner, and then be put off because of some hygiene issues. Maybe there's a bed smell or
there's a foul smell emanating from the mouth, or a smelly body, etc, etc. So we said that human
beings are attracted by beauty, and naturally they are also put off by unpleasant scenes and
unpleasant sites. So therefore, the prophet of Allah Salallahu alaihe. Salam has also emphasized
		

			that we be meticulous in this regard. That was last week's discussion. Today, we are moving on to
another discussion, and that is foreplay. And this is part of our preparations. Now for plays
extremely important for both partners. It's important for the husband. And it's important for the
wife as well.
		

			Why? Because it prepares the mind and the body for relations.
		

			Right prepares the mind, it mentally gets you into that mode. And it also prepares you your body.
That's the most important thing it prepares your body for the conjugal relations, and it leads to a
pleasurable union. So foreplay is a very important ingredient when it comes to intimacy. Now,
although foreplay is important for both spouses, it is more important for women. And that's because
of the differences that we have within the men and within the women. Allah subhanaw taala has made
us different.
		

			A man gets aroused much quicker as compared to a woman.
		

			To put it in simple terms, professionals describe it in these words, that a man is like a light
bulb, switch on and above is on. But for a woman, it's different. It's not like that. She takes
time. And she's like a stove you're on. And you have to wait. So there's a difference within the men
and this difference within a woman. And we need to keep that in mind. It's extremely important. So a
men feel that if I'm ready, she's ready. Well, that's wrong. That is wrong. And many times it's seen
as being selfish. It's seen as being self centered, and you are only worried about yourself. So it
comes across like that to the wife. So it's important that the husband spends time in allowing his
		

			partner to get herself mentally ready, and to get herself ready physically also, in terms of a body.
So just keep in mind that a woman takes longer to be aroused. She needs time, and therefore the
husband needs to be considered. He needs to allow his partner to warm up. He should take his time in
helping her get ready. And it shouldn't be only about him. An intimate moment like that can cause
friction between husband and wife and it can cause resentment between the two spouses. Resentment on
the basis that the wife will say you only worried about yourself. You are gratified, you are
satisfied. Your need is Fulford Yukon. What about me? So it's important that the husband does not
		

			overlook this. Now let's look at the Sunnah of Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam in this
regard. And let's see what the prophet of Allah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam has advised us led to
our era Illa welcome utter hamina Sha what the misnomer attacker like a lot this will curb in for
all in this hadith is telling the Sahabi that oh my companion to not begin conjugal relations
		

			until she has experience desire, like the desire you experience
		

			less you fulfill your desires before she does
		

			get the profit of allies guiding the Sahaba he's telling him
		

			don't just get into it. Allow your partner to prepay for the moment allow them to get ready.
Otherwise what will happen is that you will fulfill your needs and she will be left unsatisfied. So
you're the profitable lysing lead to a clearer her lead to occur in
		

			menasha with the Mysamma attacker, Kayla just a bit harville for all allow her to also get ready for
the occasion.
		

			In another Hadith it is mentioned that the Prophet of Allah sallallahu Sallam advises to have a sin
that do not come close to your partner except with a messenger in between. and here the messenger is
referred to as foreplay. So if we look at the Sunnah of Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi Salaam, we find
that the Prophet of Allah Salallahu alaihe salam has encouraged the partners to keep each other's
needs in mind when engaging in conjugal relations.
		

			Now, some people think it's against the grain of Sunnah, to engage in foreplay. They think that it's
against the teachings of Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, and they think that it's
inappropriate. They think that it's not encouraging. So now, but I think they are mistaken, if they
have to just listen to the above words of Rasulullah, sallAllahu, Alayhi, salaam and other Hadith,
most definitely that person, he or she will change his mind and his outlook towards this matter. As
we find that it is a clear cut son of Rasulullah sallallahu. They sent him to engage in foreplay. In
fact, the mom No, you're absolutely right. That foreplay and passionate kissing before relation is
		

			an emphatic Sunnah. And it is this like to do otherwise. So keep in mind that foreplay is important,
and it's even even more important for the wife. We live it here today. And in the coming program. We
will discuss some of the areas of foreplay, and some of the common questions that people always ask
that we'll address in the coming program.