Habib Bobat – The Fiqh Of Intimacy Part 3 – The Right To Sexual Fulfilment

			Previously, we spoke about intentions and we said that everything in Islam is based on intention in
the mallamma to be neared. So intimacy is no different. And some of the intentions that we spoke
about was procreation, protection of chastity, fulfilling the rights of one's partner. And lastly,
we spoke about enjoying the gift of nikka. Today is a very interesting discussion and we are
speaking about the right to sexual fulfillment belongs to both the husband and the wife. This is a
very important discussion to have. Because there is a great misconception in the people. Many people
think many people think that the right to sexual fulfillment only belongs to the husband. This is a
		

			myth. We need to dispel it, we need to debunk it and we need to understand that the right to sexual
fulfillment belongs to both the husband and the wife. The great scholar Abner within Rahim Allah
tala writes that among the benefits of nica is the permissibility of each spouse deriving sexual
pleasure from the other. So in essence, both partners are religiously obliged to fulfill each
other's sexual needs. Now their Hadith is addressed both the husband and the wife, as far as the
wife is concerned, the prophet of Allah Salallahu alaihe salam has said that there are Raja emulator
who interferes furoshiki for them. 34 Bertha has the banner they have learned how Malaika to Hector
		

			to spay her that when a man calls his wife to share the bed with him, and she refuses without any
valid excuse. And he sleeps while she's angry. Then the angels curse this lady till the morning. And
this is authentic narration recorded in Buhari and in Muslim.
		

			So, if the man is calling his wife, he needs to fulfill his needs. And the wife is refusing with out
a genuine excuse without a proper excuse. Then she is finding herself on the wrong side. And the
angels curse that lady till the morning. At the same time, the prophet of Allah Salallahu alaihe
salam is also addressed the husband's and he has also taken into account the needs of the wife. And
so we find the hadith of Buddha, the alota nine who were in the Prophet of Allah sallallahu alayhi
wa sallam advised him that he was married and he was not fulfilling the needs of his partner. The
Prophet of Allah Salallahu alaihe salam got the news. And he called him and he advised him saying
		

			that we're in le zoji collega, Huck or Buddha, Allah has given rights to everybody. And your wife
also has a right over you. And towards the end of the Hadith the Prophet of Allah gave him profound
advice saying, for our affiliate cool, we happen haka, oh Buddha, Allah has given rights to
everyone. So fulfil the rights of everyone that is due to them, your wife is also going to write
over you fulfill their rights. This is piety. This is the yardstick to measure things. So now we
understand that Allah subhanaw taala has allowed both the husband as well as the wife to fulfill
their needs in the legal way, and in the halal manner. Now, let's look at some of the exceptions to
		

			the rule. We mentioned early on that when the husband calls his wife and she refuses then the angels
cursor. However, in certain cases, she is exempted. For example, in the case of halal when she is in
her monthly cycle, at that time, it is not permissible for the husband to engage in sexual activity.
And if he calls her, she has the upper she has the prerogative to refuse, because there is a genuine
excuse and there is the monthly cycle. The same would apply in the postnatal bleeding which we call
the fast. And thirdly, in extreme illnesses, they are exempted, they are not forced to share the bed
with the husband, or in a case where they are incapacitated due to illness. So in these
		

			circumstances, it is permitted for the wife to not make herself available when the husband do make
the request. Now let's look at some of the common excuses that partners make.
		

			We said that it is a right to for both husband and wife to fulfill their sexual needs. But there is
a great deal of laxity in this regard. And we find very often partners making the excuse, I'm too
tired. I had a hectic day. I'm not in a mood or later, maybe not today, maybe sometime later. So one
thing we
		

			To understand that this could be detrimental to the marriage,
		

			and it could lead to emotional withdrawal,
		

			it could lead to dissatisfaction. And in some cases, it could even lead to extra marital affairs. So
people should understand that it is a need that Allah has kept in the marriage. And when those needs
are not met, then the person might go elsewhere to fulfill those needs. So it's important that just
like how we make time for everything in our day, we should also make time for this and we shouldn't
be negligent and complacent in this regard. And therefore there should be a mutual understanding
between husband and wife they should take into account each other's needs. And accordingly, they
should be fulfilling it in sha Allah.