Fatima Barkatulla – #74 – IlmFeed with Suma Din – Youth Struggles, Honouring the Elderly, Turning The Tide

Fatima Barkatulla
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The speakers discuss the challenges of life and rethinking them, including the negative impact of racist behavior and psychological struggles on their mental health. They emphasize the importance of finding inspiring books for women and finding the right person, balancing social activities and the elderly with the younger generation, educating elderly people on the benefits of their parents, and being patient with words and actions. They also emphasize the need to be mindful of one's words and actions to avoid drama and loss of friendships and to educate elderly people on the benefits of their parents. Finally, they provide examples of how they have achieved their goals through their book "The deen of Islam" and how they found it difficult to write.

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			Bismillah Alhamdulillah wa salatu salam ala rasulillah dear brothers and sisters Assalamu alaykum
warahmatullahi wabarakatuh and welcome to this NP podcast episode. I'm your host Fatima Baraka Tila
and today I have a special guest with me. It is sister Summa Dean.
		
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			Summa Dean is an offer teacher and freelance researcher based in Buckinghamshire, England. She
writes on social justice, faith and women. Summa is married with three children and lives with her
pet fascination. It says here for bodies of water, and recreational painting.
		
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			Sister Suma. Also, in terms of research, she writes on social justice, faith and women. Her research
focuses particularly on bringing Muslim mothers experiences to the fore with her publication on
Muslim mothers and their children's schooling. She has also written a number of resources on Islam
used in mainstream schools. So I'm really pleased to say and hamdulillah she's with us, salaam
aleikum, sister Summa likoma, Salama matelasse, that it's a real pleasure, honor to get the
opportunity to speak to you. Thank
		
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			you. Yes, you know, your book, I've got it here with me turning the tide reawakening the woman's
heart and soul. It's a book that I actually grew up seeing around the house and seeing in bookshops
because you know, it was really one of the
		
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			one of the only Islamic books for women, written in the English language in such a, you know, by
somebody who was obviously a native speaker.
		
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			And
		
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			I just remember meeting some sisters, and they told me they growing up, you'd been quite an
important influence in their lives in their coming to Islam, you know, as young people growing up in
the UK, and when they mentioned your name, I remember that I seen your book, but I never actually
got a chance to properly meet you. So I'm really glad that we're having this opportunity today. And
Hamdulillah, it's, it's a real honor to talk to you again, you know, I've seen your name, seen your
publications, but not had the opportunity to speak to you. So I'm really looking forward to have
hamdulillah. So tell us
		
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			sumava? Like, what was the context in which you wrote the book?
		
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			And to you, what is the book, book significance? Why did you want to write this book?
		
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			Yeah, so we're going back quite a long way. I started a long way, around
		
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			2000. And it was around that time that I came across life brings people your way. So whether that's
family, whether that's strangers, or people, friends, people I'd grown up with, and there was
quietly people who were
		
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			finding it very difficult to engage with anything Islamic, and actually sort of turning their back
quietly saying, you know, I don't want anything to do with this space. It's, it's too difficult.
It's too harsh. And unfortunately, they had baggage from experiences, which, you know, very complex,
as you know, working in the community. And these are voices that I came across from many different
places. And it got me thinking a lot, as in why it got me thinking about sort of why they were
turning away when there were resources, and there were things. But I realized, actually, that
sometimes, people need different ways in to approaching the faith, not everybody's at the same
		
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			stage, everyone's on a journey. And so turning the tide really started the first impetus really to
gather translations of is of Quran and relevant Hadith was to say, particularly to women, although
people have given me feedback that it was useful for men as well, but particularly I had women in
mind to say, you know, just take one more look, give it a chance. And because what you've maybe got
as bad experiences, or in justices or baggage, is not the real picture. And that's unfortunate that
it's happened to you through a whole range of
		
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			whether it's cultural or educational, you know, lots of things mixed together circumstantial
problems. But it was really a way of trying to invite
		
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			sisters to have a look and to say, it's, it's different. There's a lot of love, mercy, compassion in
our face. And yes, of course, there's limitations. There's limitations and everything in life. But
these are divine limitations. They're not there to
		
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			hold harmless or impede our lives, they're there to make our lives easier. And so that was one of
the starting points, okay? Why I started collecting and writing simultaneously and then it grew, it
evolved very slowly, because I had very young children at the time. So bear with me.
		
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			What kind of year was it was around the year 2000. And the only way I can remember that was I was
expecting my third child. But I didn't connect his birth to these tiny little homemade booklets
where I just write bits and put them in my handbag belt, wherever I was going, extremely busy time,
I already had two girls, Mashallah, who were about five and two or three, something like that. So it
was nonstop, as you know, if you're a mom, at that stage, but I did feel this real urge to put
something down. And I've always been writing, you know, writing wasn't new, that was my way of
living thinking is to write. So I've been a diary writer, journal writer, I'd been writing articles,
		
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			through my teens,
		
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			putting things down on paper wasn't a new thing. But the purpose was very much to invite people who
were at a particular different, difficult place, and to connect with them, which is why I have
things like the Marian voices that I wrote, just try and connect with what might be going through
their mind. before presenting, I translated I as of
		
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			that was one reason. And I think the second reason was, I wasn't finding inspiring books for women
in English. And you know, we lived near an Islamic bookshop in London at the time. And I'd keep
going, hopefully, and looking for something I could buy to give this person or that person. And they
were quite
		
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			didactic, almost quite fearful, and generated a lot of rules, regulations, but what about sort of
the heart and the essence of, of our faith, which is so beautiful, and so life giving? I was finding
publications, which were a bit the opposite. So that those are two big reasons. And when I look
back, just to finish answering that question, I think myself personally, I didn't realize it at the
time. But now when I look back,
		
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			it was a time where we were my life was changing quite a bit, being a very busy mom. And I think
we're in a process where we've got to keep reevaluating our lives and seeing what's our purpose,
resetting our own compass, and following, you know, what we know, in text and theory, but actually
		
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			following it through as our stages of life change. So I think it was a mixture of all those things.
		
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			Just like our parents,
		
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			and so, just to so that we understand your background, like, were you born in the UK? And like, was
it your parents who came to the UK? Yeah, so I did, I was born here. My parents came from Bangladesh
in the 60s. And so I was born in the 70s. And Mashallah always lived here, gone to school here went
to Church of England schools and Catholic schools, actually, which I think had an effect on me a
good effect, actually, because they keep a level of spirituality alive through your school day. So I
was very grateful to have gone to those schools.
		
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			And yeah, so I grew up here and went through the conventional schooling, university and everything,
and Islamic education wise, and I didn't have the benefit of a very organized Islamic education,
like there is around now. But Alhamdulillah I'm very fortunate that from about 16 onwards, there
were many good role models and some opportunities to join youth organizations like young Muslims.
		
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			I don't know if that was before your time. But we had organizations with some really excellent
teachers who were role models and we didn't have that much access as people do. Now. Remember, this
was a time of no internet. Okay, so no YouTube books, none of that existed. It was all paper
magazines, or you actually showing up in person at a talk. Regent's Park mosque is quite an
important place to gather Yo, twice, three times a year for a big conference and then in between
Alhamdulillah is able to get some high lockers but very organic very much about just finding books
reading, sharing them in our locality with a small group of sisters.
		
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			And growing slowly, maybe a bit haphazardly, but growing in that way, so Alhamdulillah, for what we
had at that time, I'm grateful for it. There was such a blessing wasn't there tomorrow, but in those
times, because, you know, the people who used to organize these kinds of youth events, and I did go
to some white m events, I remember and, like, my parents used to take me to anything, everything and
anything, you know, that
		
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			was Islamic was to go to the UK Islamic mission was to go to y m, I don't even know the names of all
the different, you know, projects and things. But there was a real purity and sincerity in those
projects, because
		
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			the resources were for you. But you know, the passion was there. And, and these were people always
who really, they really cared because they really didn't have to do what they did. But they had the
foresight to set up those little those youth programs, to keep us kind of, you know, on sides to
keep us informed. And
		
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			yeah, so.
		
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			Yeah, absolutely. I mean, you summed it up really well, actually, this is exactly how it was. So
when I think back, there were some people who set things up. And I won't go into mentioning names,
because there's too many. So if I mentioned one, I'll be missing, like 2030 other names. But there
were people whose things up and I still, to this day, don't know what they look like, but we
benefited from their project, we've benefited from the institutions that they set up, and the
sincerity, as you're saying, so there was nothing in it for them. There was no popularity in it. For
them, there was no awards that we're gonna get or recognition or accolades, it was so purely to
		
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			continue the message of, you know, of knowledge and, and living by the and having a real positivity,
I think that's what attracted me a lot around the age of 16. And 17, when you are looking naturally
for your identity, and you are looking to fit in, and you want a peer group that you can identify
with. So there were some wonderful people based in the Islamic Foundation, in particular, when we
would go for sort of three, four day what we'd call youth camps, and really lovely talks. And that
was men and women who were delivering very compassionate message to us, I would say, because that
was the feeling I come away with even now, so many decades later, that there is meaning and
		
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			compassion in everything that they taught. And at the same time, there was one organization, which
I'm sure it's before your time, it was a union of Muslim organizations that you Mo. I don't think it
exists now. But that was something that was more into sort of lobbying and law and policies. But
there was a youth wing as well. And a few of us not knowing anything much about it went to a youth
conference. And that was led by actually I will mentioned Dr. Sade, Crusher, may Allah have mercy on
him and grab him gentleman he passed away a few years ago.
		
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			He led
		
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			the US as well as a youth committee. And some of us joined that committee having just gone to one
conference, I don't quite think we knew what we're doing. But you know, it sounded good. It sounded
interesting. It sounded organized, that we were going to have another youth conference every year.
And I joined that committee. And I think that was probably one of the most pivotal things I could
have done to help myself then. And I'm thankful for it. Because we really learned from the way he
trusted the youth. And the way he taught us about how to run a meeting official things, and how he
just propelled us into contact that MP invited them to a conference, ring, Oxford University higher
		
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			place, you know, all of these functional things. At that age, you just go along and do it. It's only
looking back you realize, well, he really did. And it train you in, in in very useful skills. And at
the same time,
		
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			there was this implicit trust, and I look back now I think I didn't have a clue what I was doing.
But he trusted us, and he treated me
		
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			like adults.
		
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			And I still remember those meetings and I remember his example with a lot of gratitude. Actually.
		
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			It really makes me think every generation has to pass something forward to the next rate.
		
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			It makes you realize that it's the little things that you might be doing you
		
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			The different points of which you're having some kind of contact with a young person
		
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			that might have such a big impact on their outlook and the way they practice Islam. So many sisters
who I met,
		
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			who actually moved away from Islam and then rediscovered it later on, told me that one of the
reasons was, you know, going to a madrasa where somebody treated them harshly, right?
		
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			Or Islam being presented to them in such a kind of folkloric way, right, like, as if it's something
unsophisticated, and not really relevant to the modern day. So
		
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			to have any kind of mentors who, who had the foresight to kind of understand what we needed as young
people,
		
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			rather than just importing a cultural version of Islam, you know, it
		
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			was a real blessing, I think, absolutely real blessing. And, yeah, there's lots of funny memories I
have as well with that time, partly because we as very young, I'm talking 1718 in a very volatile
age, it could be and also very powerful age, that we just didn't understand a lot of things, but we
were trusted.
		
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			And I think that works wonders when you start to trust young people. And that responsibility. I
remember just as a small anecdote, and in one of those UFO youth meetings, that what probably the
very first one when Dr. Bhatia said, okay, we need to take minutes, and we were sort of looking at
the clock, we didn't know what taking minutes was, you know, we didn't know so many things. And
having that patience with us that no, we're going to do things properly. And we're going to learn to
do things properly, right up to people I look at now who are famous judges who are, you know, well
known magistrates, and we were actually put in front of them at that time to talk to them, you know,
		
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			to present to them, what's our year's activities been? Again, we didn't realize the enormity of the
opportunities we've been given. But we just enjoyed it and learned and went along. So yeah, I agree
entirely. You do need people with that foresight.
		
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			Hunger, love? Yeah. Because when, what if, if Islam has not been presented to you in the right way,
a lot of damage can be done, and then people find it really hard to then
		
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			come back, you know, to regain that. Yeah, that the right understanding, you know, once as a young
person, it's been presented to you in in the wrong way. Yeah. So Jazakallah, Heron, for sharing that
with us. I'm going to turn to your book now. It's really beautifully presented. I don't know if you
can see this brothers and sisters, but there are so many beautiful sections. And what I love about
it is it's almost like you're taking the reader gently by the hand and saying,
		
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			Let me tell you, let me show you what Islam is. Let me show you what your Creator has said about you
what he has for you. And it's in such a gentle way. The reason why that kind of stands out is that,
you know, in our times we've kind of gotten into quite a combative approach to discussing Islam, you
know, sometimes because I think Muslims always feel under attack. So, so some of the books and some
of the things that we we see writings about, they're often very kind of defensive, or, you know,
like as if they're a reaction to something rather than saying, Well, let me show you another way.
And I love the title, you know, reawakening the woman's heart and soul. One of the sections that
		
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			I'm just going to
		
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			highlight is the youth section. You know, what was the importance of this section to you, you know,
you have to use a myriad voices. Fortunate Am I to receive the treasures of youth time delivers the
gifts of strength, health and opportunity to cultivate mind and soul. Almost bounteous lead me to
use these gifts to please you, the source of all goodness, the protecting friend. It's very poetic,
Mashallah.
		
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			Yeah, tell me about this section.
		
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			Yeah, okay. So, just in case.
		
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			Listeners don't realize that it actually starts from the inception of the soul through childhood and
then youth is I think, third or fourth chapter. And then it goes on through the stages right till
the end.
		
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			of life. So your youth is a spirit, I think every stage of life is special. But it's a particularly
interesting stage. And I suppose, because I've always worked with young girls,
		
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			I've just about all my life, I've worked with young girls in the supplementary sector especially.
And so I have a connection and a bond with the more because it's such a time of opportunity. And
islamically, you become accountable, you know, when you
		
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			reach a certain age, mid teens a bit earlier a bit later for some, but you become accountable. So
that's a huge weight. On the one hand, you know, your speech, what you're doing, the choices you're
making, you can't any longer be treated as a child islamically. But you're still growing and your
hormones all over the place. And there's still so much to learn that it's this very delicate mix,
but a very powerful mix. And with this age group, I just think there's so much potential and
Mashallah they do impress me all the time with the initiatives, they come out with young people, the
things they lead the charity work they do, for example, but at the same time, it's a very tough and
		
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			difficult phase, especially now. I think we all went through our own personal little hardships or
struggles, when you're 13 1415, you start to figure things out a bit around 1617. But I think
particularly now, I feel that mixture of ideas, the speed at which things change the whole online
web life, as well as life and how they overlap how they contradict, sometimes sometimes they help
one another, there's two areas of life. But it makes it really difficult phase, particularly now to
navigate. Unless, as I say, in the book, you get your compass, straight. And by compass, I mean, you
get your direction, clear with Allah subhanaw taala. And you really take the time in your youth to
		
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			build that bond, and to build that love of Allah Subhana Allah is very simple aside, nothing,
nothing complicated, but to build a love for Him and His messengers, and his profits, and the last
message is solemn. And with that bond, then this kind of suddenly stormy, phase of life can be a lot
more
		
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			fulfilling, and a lot less painful. There will be tests, there's there's no taking that away from
this phase of life or from any phase of life. But my emphasis really, in this chapter is Think for
yourself, you know, be a critical thinker. Think about who you are, think about the influences upon
you think about who you're influencing. And think about what the purpose of your life is. Not that
you can plan everything, but really take the beautiful direction we've been given, we're not left
without a map. Okay, we've been given the map. And it's really, for youth to try and with the help
of so many people around them, so many resources to try and navigate their way. Because I think the
		
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			you know, they are super intelligent at this age as well. They've got everything buzzing. And that
can go in two directions, as you know, your mum as well. So, having raised young people as well, we
can see the challenges firsthand. It's not easy.
		
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			Yeah, I think it's really easy for our generation to think that this generation growing up, I have
it's so much easier than us, you know, cuz I think it's very tempting to think like that, because,
you know, I don't think on the one side, I don't think they have the
		
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			blatant Islamophobia or racism to deal with, but that there was, you know, with us growing up, also
the kind of being the only girl wearing Hijab type thing. And, you know, they don't have that to
deal with most most of the time now, because the job has become quite normal.
		
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			Being a Muslim has become quite normal now, you know, in the UK and in the West.
		
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			But on the one hand, you know, they've got it easier, it seems, because they don't have to face
those challenges. On the other hand, I feel like
		
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			some of those challenges we face, they're actually what made us you know, do you know what I mean?
those challenges are what made us value Islam in the first place. Because when somebody's racist
towards you, when somebody
		
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			be, you know, makes you feel different. It kind of makes you ask yourself, Well, actually, yeah, who
am I? You know, what is my identity? What? What do I stand for? And I think a lot of our generation,
that's what kind of drove us to then look into Islam properly and be interested in Islam. For this
generation,
		
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			I don't want to say Islam has been handed to them on a plate, but
		
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			it does feel like that sometimes, you know, because our generation is so kind of eager for them to
have amazing EADS and amazing, an amazing experience of Ramadan. And, you know, the learning curve,
and from a young age learning Arabic, you know, a lot of kids now and yeah, everything is being
given to them, you would think that, you know, they have the optimal kind of
		
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			situation in a way right, living in the West, in an affluent country, but at the same time, with a
lot of Islamic resources. Now, a lot of Islamic books, a lot of Islamic media even right.
		
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			But
		
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			I still feel very fearful for this generation. I don't know, like, yeah,
		
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			yeah, I can identify with what you're saying, and start there. And I think I would put it in two
ways. I think I just recently wrote about this as well, that in, but from a mother's perspective,
that on the one hand, the functional things are easier. So if you take just school, for example, the
Hello meals, or dress, or these functional things, or having a day off on E, or having some better
understanding about Ramadan, those things are definitely easier. And actually, you've summed them up
really well as in, there's a lot more resources. But what's harder, I find, and I face this with my
children as well, is this psychological struggle. And the internal struggle is a lot harder, which
		
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			we didn't face. We didn't face the events in the world. And while we were growing up, it was a
relatively relatively more peaceful time. And I'm being a bit myopic here and saying, you know, for
where we are in England, it was relatively more peaceful. I know, there was a lot of people around
the world. And so that's just a sort of disclaimer about that. But they are facing and I've seen
this with all my children, Mashallah. And method 20s. Now, the youngest just turned 20, as well. And
the amount of time as a mother, I'm spending and I have done dealing with the internal dealing with
how they digest the next, you know, atrocity that happens in the world that's
		
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			portrayed as being a product of their faith. And this is really quite difficult, damaging,
troublesome. It's a lot of baggage they've carried, and they hear it in much more nuanced ways now.
So whereas before, 70s 80s, there may have been straight up racism, right? So it's, if I was working
with Hindu Sikh friends, were all Asian, we get the same abuse, right? Yeah, it was not the same
name calling, like big deal done. And that was damaging in its own way. But that was it. Now, what I
get from the young girls that I teach as well, because they're always teenagers, is that it's a lot
more nuanced,
		
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			subtle, and more damaging messages. They're getting even sometimes through school, to teachers
through society through the news.
		
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			And it's insidious, and much harder to put your finger on as a parent as well, unless you've got
kids who are going to open up and say, and then give you an opportunity to almost heal and correct
and undo the damage. So I think, you know, when I think what have I been doing for years, a lot of
my hours, months, and time has gone on undoing
		
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			messages that are out there, and they're not they're not on billboards. They're not headlight you
know, it's it's quite subtle stuff
		
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			around your, your whole faith. And
		
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			as parents discuss this, as well as teachers as well, you know, you could be driving your child to
school teenager, and you've got radio, the radio on, and I had this particular experience, which
I've just written about in the next book in Sharla, where I heard radio for on and it was the moral
maze and there was a representative from our community, discussing Islamic topics and you know, he
was very good Mashallah.
		
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			But the tone as a presenter, it was so difficult to listen to, because every single thing that this
military representative said, was just put down, or, you know, really, on the verge of ridiculed.
And I was looking at my daughter in the backseat, and she was probably about, I think about 1718,
something like that, at that age. And I could see the effect it was having on her.
		
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			And I'm just looking in the rearview mirror. And I'm not putting it off either, because I wanted to
hear it and she was listening to. And she just said, you know, they're not listening to a word he's
saying.
		
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			And then when she and I didn't exchange much about it, I was dropping her it was Ramadan, I was
dropping her to her friends Iftar. And, you know, I dropped her off, and she was really happy,
excited, he's going to stay the night there. And they hadn't seen each other these four friends. So
I don't want to open this conversation up, then when she was quite happy about where she was going.
When I came back as an adult, as the parent, it had such a net negative effect on me, I can't
pretend it was easy, or that I could cope. And I felt you know, if I can't cope with this, how's my
daughter feeling? And we did discuss it later.
		
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			And, and this is just one tiny drop, but they they keep hearing these things. And so the young
people have a lot to deal with.
		
00:31:34 --> 00:31:55
			Yeah, so there's this like, drip, drip, right? There's a drip drip effect of subliminal messages
being given that, you know, it's not a really okay to be a Muslim, it's not really okay to believe
strongly in certain things or, you know, yeah, I can see that.
		
00:31:57 --> 00:32:17
			That sense, and then they've got on the other side, their own age group, and the messages that are
out there on the internet, and all of that to deal with, which we didn't have. So I feel so the
distractions, wouldn't you say the, the, just the immense amount of distraction that there is
because, you know,
		
00:32:18 --> 00:32:39
			just, even if you're somebody who's quite careful, and doesn't just hand over devices to your kids,
um, at some point, they do get those devices, because, you know, they're getting older, and they,
they need them, etc. And they have to kind of learn to become responsible with those devices, right?
Like, you can't just eat,
		
00:32:41 --> 00:32:46
			but just reflecting on how addictive those devices are, and how distracting
		
00:32:48 --> 00:33:39
			Subhanallah you just kind of sometimes worry, you know, like, do we really understand the effect,
the mental health effect that these the constant images, the dopamine hits, you know, constant need
for entertainment and new thing, novelty, you know, we don't really know, the long term effects of
that gonna be so much pressure on again, I keep talking about girls, because that's who I might find
changes with a lot. And there's a huge amount of pressure on girls how to look. And on their
physical, emotional mental health is huge. And that's not just, it's almost becoming a cliche to say
that, but I can say it from, you know, firsthand experience of 20 more than 25 years with in the
		
00:33:39 --> 00:33:43
			community with young girls, like literally every weekend.
		
00:33:44 --> 00:33:54
			And it's changed. Our conversations have completely changed from 1020 years ago, to now. And the
things that they what kinds of conversations would you say
		
00:33:55 --> 00:34:08
			they have? The biggest issue maybe 20 years ago now, Islamic class would be or, you know, can you
explain why, why why we don't have boyfriends or something like that, you know, be quite
straightforward.
		
00:34:11 --> 00:34:52
			That's, like the least of the issues. Now. It's things about self harm. Eating Disorders. Really?
Yeah, yeah, absolutely. Without me inviting these questions, and I'm very happy that they will bring
them up, have them have their own free will, we will start we could be studying Syrah, we could be
doing meaning of a surah. We could be doing actual acts of ibadah. Right. But we always used to in
the classes I was running with other systems have a space for about 1015 minutes where they could
bring anything up. And so these are the things that they are in contact with Bailey and they want to
talk
		
00:34:54 --> 00:35:00
			you know, and we've had to then really like stretch ourselves and get in contact with mental
		
00:35:00 --> 00:35:38
			Help charities, to educate ourselves to bring them in sometimes to talk to parents. But the
landscape is what I'm saying is so much harder now. So I do feel people, Mashallah, there's some
amazing energy out there. And I have a lot of respect for them too. Because I see, you know, I see
their, their abilities coming out in so many beautiful ways. But at the same time, I also see the
challenges that they face. So yes, coming back to the youth chapter, it's, it's a subtle,
		
00:35:40 --> 00:35:44
			trying to be a subtle friend to them really, in that chapter and saying, you know,
		
00:35:45 --> 00:35:55
			have your own storm set out in terms of your relationship with Allah subhanaw taala, to help you
navigate through all of this, which is not easy.
		
00:35:56 --> 00:36:15
			Yeah, so panelo really goes to show that I think the spaces are needed, aren't they like the space
for young people to speak about these things and not feel embarrassed? Or, you know, I think, when
we were younger, there were certain topics that you wouldn't really ever bring up in front of your
elders, you know.
		
00:36:16 --> 00:36:26
			But now, with this generation, we've just got to really be open, we've got to, we've got to allow
them to talk about everything.
		
00:36:27 --> 00:36:33
			There is no choice, there is no choice, because the World Wide Web is what it is, right?
		
00:36:35 --> 00:36:44
			That's there, that's not going anywhere. And there's a lot of benefits that come with that, too. Of
course, we mustn't forget, you know, we're doing this on.
		
00:36:47 --> 00:36:49
			We will gained a lot from technology as well.
		
00:36:51 --> 00:36:53
			It's keeping that balance and keeping
		
00:36:54 --> 00:37:01
			the space open. Because our Dean doesn't exclude anything. So why should we, you know,
		
00:37:03 --> 00:37:06
			moving on to the section in your book about
		
00:37:07 --> 00:37:10
			I think you've called it the age of wisdom,
		
00:37:11 --> 00:37:16
			treasures in the sea. And I think this is the section about,
		
00:37:18 --> 00:37:20
			you know, coming into old age and
		
00:37:21 --> 00:37:23
			the value of
		
00:37:24 --> 00:37:30
			being an older person Subhanallah, like, We're living in a time, aren't we, when
		
00:37:32 --> 00:37:55
			youth being youthful is worshipped, right? Like, and anything, anything that kind of shows that
you're getting older, or that you've left youth behind now, is, is like seen as something negative,
you know, people literally spend millions of pounds and, you know, 1000s of pounds on
		
00:37:57 --> 00:38:11
			treatments and things to just to make themselves look younger, to dress younger, to act younger, and
that have reverence for youth for sorry, that reverence for old age that used to be there
		
00:38:13 --> 00:38:16
			is slowly being lost, or it's maybe it's already been lost, you know,
		
00:38:18 --> 00:38:37
			actually, maybe during the pandemic, a lot more people are kind of starting to realize the value of
the older generation, you know, because people have been distancing themselves and try to keep
elderly relative safe. I think they've really it's really like awaken people to how important
		
00:38:39 --> 00:38:41
			older people are in our lives.
		
00:38:43 --> 00:38:50
			Why was this section important to you? And have? Have you had elder people? You've already mentioned
some mentors.
		
00:38:51 --> 00:39:28
			Have you had people in your life who you were thinking of when you wrote this? Yeah. And yes, a very
special section, a special stage of life, very much for the reasons of study that you've mentioned
already, in that it's how we, as a society, view, the elders. Now, socially, the pandemic has shown,
it's taken a while to actually send to the elders as being a priority. It wasn't the first thing and
we saw, you know, tragically the amount of loss of life that happened through care homes and through
		
00:39:30 --> 00:40:00
			places where elders are most vulnerable. And that's a reflection sadly, that in society even before
well before the pandemic, that there's this move towards elder people not really being seen as
valuable assets in our communities. I'm talking itchiness across the board. And, you know,
hamdulillah there was still level of respect and reverence. I think within a lot of
		
00:40:01 --> 00:40:39
			minority communities for the elders as well as the indigenous community, but it's certainly not the
norm. And it is something that we need to be concerned about. Because when I, any of us look
islamically, it's very clear, there's no confusion about interpretation, where the standard of the
elderly is from the Quran and Hadith, and it is they are the most respected that at the code, like
the Merapi, they're called the honored teachers. And it is a hard stage for them, because they
themselves are weakening physically.
		
00:40:41 --> 00:40:45
			We hear about dementia now much more on the news.
		
00:40:46 --> 00:41:14
			And there's a lot more awareness. But there's so many challenges to them. Yet at the same time, they
are complete wells and treasure houses of knowledge, experience, wisdom, that we need to really
value and to give that position to again, in society because it's very, not just England, I talk to
friends and relatives around the world. You know, a very good friend and Islam have been said to me,
Well, there's a lot of care homes here too.
		
00:41:17 --> 00:42:04
			old people's homes here, their children are in America or Canada, and they're overseas, there's no
one to look after them. And so it's not something I'm saying it's a Western society problem. It's a
problem globally, that we need to talk about. I'm glad we're talking about it, they gave that honor.
And that centering of the elderly, as the most of valuable part of our community, just like we do to
young children, who are also in parallels between very little children who need a lot of physical
support, who need hair protection, the elderly need exactly the same. And, but they also have a lot
of wisdom, and knowledge to impart to us. And the second thing that I try to emphasize in that
		
00:42:04 --> 00:42:12
			chapter as well, is that the, it's quite a clear call on what we're meant to do. And that's give
company
		
00:42:14 --> 00:42:55
			very beautifully. And it's only as we age ourselves that you realize, I didn't understand that
probably 20 years ago, I would have just glossed over it. Oh, yeah, you know, respect elders, and
look after them serve them. But the word company, I don't think it's sunk in to my brain until I see
aging, and elders around so friends, parents, friends in laws, and really what they crave is
company. And they're so beautiful in the Quran, the way that we're told in a lower the wing of
humility to them. And, and because we are strong, and you really see it when you're in the company
of the elderly, that
		
00:42:56 --> 00:43:29
			we have the strength, physical, mental agility and everything, and they don't. And so the need for
that humility then needs to be called out as it is in the Quran upon Allah, he said, and again, I
just, each year that goes by I understand it a bit more. I can't say I've understood it completely.
But giving company is so important. And again, when I come back, for the youth, I think is this a
struggle that we have to make them realize this as well.
		
00:43:30 --> 00:44:04
			It's that part of their lives should include the importance to the elders around them, whether
that's grandparents or elderly, neighbors, ugly family, friends, whoever is in our lives. And it's
so important to bring that up. And, and it's not always easy. As a parent, you have to have some
difficult conversations. Sometimes you have to call your own kids out and say, hang on, if you're
doing a lot of this, this, this and this, which are all good. Two might be charity might be friends,
but whatever, you know, time and space for the elderly.
		
00:44:05 --> 00:44:07
			And that doesn't always make
		
00:44:08 --> 00:44:17
			a popular conversation starter with your kids as they're growing up. But we have to do that, you
know, if we want to make sure that we're
		
00:44:19 --> 00:44:21
			protecting that their their position.
		
00:44:23 --> 00:44:59
			Yeah, and especially the elderly, within within their own families. Right, like so. Pamela that's so
true. Like, one of the things that I did in order to because when when the kids were younger, they
were boys at my parents house and you know, they're always with the grandparents, they love their
grandparents they it's almost like when they're younger then they have an even stronger connection
with the grandparents because I think they know that they can get away with so much. I think it's
because they they feel that you know, they they really drawn to those who really love them, right?
		
00:45:00 --> 00:45:11
			And as they get older, as with everybody, you know, you you, you join the rat race, you know, you're
busy, you just there's so many things you could be doing any one time,
		
00:45:12 --> 00:45:21
			it takes a level of slowing down, mostly mindful. And we're not used to that anymore, right?
		
00:45:23 --> 00:45:32
			To kind of meet older people with the level or the level of energy, I would say that they're at, you
know,
		
00:45:33 --> 00:45:49
			but I think it's such a valuable thing to learn. So one of the things that I did was when my son was
looking for a job, and he wanted to, like, well just wanted some money, right? And I said to him,
why don't you find Nana, you know, and ask him, like,
		
00:45:51 --> 00:46:01
			if he's got any jobs, because I'm sure he's got a lot of office work in his own home office. And he
did. And then, you know, my dad took one of my sons on
		
00:46:03 --> 00:46:09
			with, you know, what he did, he got them to sort out all of the family photos, scan them all and
arrange them.
		
00:46:10 --> 00:46:28
			So you know, all those kinds of jobs that you probably wish he could do, but he didn't have the time
to do he started getting my son's to do those were in, I've seen such an amazing relationship
developed between them. Absolutely. Because of that working together, my dad doesn't mind paying
him, you know,
		
00:46:29 --> 00:47:04
			money anyway, you know, this way, he gets to get some work as well. And you know, it's mutually
beneficial. But that mentorship relationship, you know, it's almost like a quiet, mutually
respectful relationship that sometimes they don't have with their parents, you know, because they're
going to be the ones telling them off and pointing out all their faults and telling them what needs
fixing up and, but with grandparents, it's like, a certain level of acceptance. Absolutely. Half of
the young people and
		
00:47:05 --> 00:47:17
			I've just found that so valuable. And I would really encourage our brothers and sisters out there,
definitely, to think of ways of connecting the younger generation with the older generation because
		
00:47:18 --> 00:47:21
			so Pamela, you know, my animals have passed away and
		
00:47:22 --> 00:47:41
			I just from when they passed away, I really realized that, you know, you miss the stories, you miss
the risk, you missed the kind of, there's so much, you know, like, I encourage my kids to just ask
me about her childhood.
		
00:47:43 --> 00:48:24
			What what it was like in India, blah, blah, blah, you know, anything, just have those conversations
and just absorb Absolutely. And and it does so much good is exactly the same. My father's passed
away, Allah have mercy on him, grant him, gentlemen. I mean, it so he was very close as well to my
children and and handle I have in laws, but they're very far away, they're in the Caribbean, some
children Alhamdulillah still have a good, very good relationship with them. But it's a bit harder,
because they're so far away. And doing this is just so valuable for your parents as well. So when
we're saying, do the hard work is that we're the sandwich generation.
		
00:48:25 --> 00:49:12
			responsibilities for those younger than us, we've got the responsibilities for those older than us.
And it's hard. I would never for a moment say this is easy. It's a struggle. I struggle every single
day with keeping up with the elderly relatives of my, my own family, my, my parents, friends, who
they care about a lot. And I know I haven't contacted, it's a struggle. It's not easy. But it's
worth it. To have any, you know, take some cajoling the young lot. It's not always easy with them
either. Because their lives, as you said, are fast. Everything's fast. Everything's, you know,
there's excitement, and there's quick things and this technology to connect them up with friends and
		
00:49:12 --> 00:49:57
			all of this. And it does take it takes a lot of diplomacy. It takes so many skills to get the
grandparent grandchild thing going and also on a community level, Mashallah. We've got very, very
blessed to have an excellent mosque near us. And they started an elderly lunch club, some brothers
and sisters, men who are very good at this type of thing. And it was open to the whole community. So
you had people from all different walks of life coming along this was before the pandemic for about
a year I think it was going on maybe less and then it had to shut naturally with the lockdown. But
it was such a beautiful initiative and inshallah we'll carry on were different neighbors just saw
		
00:49:57 --> 00:50:00
			that. There was this lunch club, they'd seen that
		
00:50:00 --> 00:50:46
			poster in the GPS, or they've got a flyer through their door. And they came along. And you know,
they really enjoyed the meal, they enjoy talking to each other. And bit by bit young people from the
mosque in ages started volunteering and helping out there. And that was just the most beautiful
thing to see. Because both sides were just loving. Yeah, both age groups, not sides, sorry, both age
groups were loving each other's interaction. And I'd have so much to gain from each other. So
there's a lot we can do. And there's a lot of good things going on. But it's just, I think, focusing
on them and being intentional to make things like that happen, or to join on board with a small
		
00:50:46 --> 00:51:29
			initiative that's local, it doesn't have to be massive grand things. But I certainly value the
elderly in my life, Mashallah, who, whoever's there, some friends, parents, you know, I love talking
to them. Because of their stories. Mostly. I don't have any of my own grandparents. But when my
nanny was alive, and she would come and stay with us on in between Bangladesh in America, and the
trips that should do, I had a little bit of her time towards my late teens, and it was probably the
most valuable time. And I've written some of those mariadb voices are definitely coming from things
my grandmother said to me, my nanny said to me,
		
00:51:30 --> 00:51:49
			and the stories, you know, I would share a bedroom with her and she would spend at least about an
hour doing Isha, and then reading. And then after that, she would start with her stories. And they
were all really, art. When I look back, they were all really instructive. I don't know if they were
true or not. But she'd say, Oh, this
		
00:51:50 --> 00:52:38
			neighborhood. And for stories about marriage, there were stories about who did get along. And he
didn't get along and why they did get along and why they didn't get along. And, you know, I just
taking it up as a sort of 19 year old bed. But then later, I realized she is actually teaching me a
lot of absolutely golden nuggets of life experience, which I'm so grateful for now. And I've used
Marshall Levin married for ages, like a boatyard third decade, this year. So my nanny stories were
ways of teaching me about relationships, and married life. And as is wonderful, and it's always
stuck.
		
00:52:42 --> 00:53:22
			So enriching, isn't it. One of the things that I think I'd really encourage everyone to do out there
if you're paired, especially if your parents are still with us, is to actually go out of your way to
interview them, and record yourself interviewing them, like even just on your phone or whatever. And
especially with the older men in our lives, because what I found is that my mom told me a lot of
stories growing up, you know, I think I know everything about my mom, pretty much, you know, because
mom's we are like that, aren't we like, we tend to tell our kids about our childhoods. And
		
00:53:23 --> 00:53:35
			what happened in when we were at school and this and that, you know, they know all the little things
about us, and they learn a lot from that. But I don't think they always get that opportunity with
the dads and with the granddad's you know.
		
00:53:36 --> 00:53:39
			And it occurred to me at one point, but
		
00:53:40 --> 00:54:05
			I think I know a lot about my dad, but I don't really I've never actually heard him, tell me about
himself, you know. So one day, I just got my tape, iPhone, iPhone, as a dad, I'm going to interview
I want to ask you things about your life. Maybe I'll write a memoir one day, you know, or something.
And it took a lot of effort, because I remember one of the first questions I asked him was,
		
00:54:06 --> 00:54:12
			so What do you remember about your childhood? Like, when you were really young, when you were like,
a kid? What's your earliest memory?
		
00:54:13 --> 00:54:15
			You know, the first thing he said to me was?
		
00:54:17 --> 00:54:19
			Why? Why do you need to know that?
		
00:54:20 --> 00:54:26
			Why don't you say, you know, there's some things it's better to forget about. And so
		
00:54:27 --> 00:54:58
			I thought, Oh, you know, like, and, and over time, you know, he did start talking and he started.
And one of the things I realized is, sometimes, especially in the very early part of their
childhoods, there might be some very difficult things. Yeah, there might have been some really
challenging times and some really, and then that generation tended not to talk about those things,
you know, and really share you know, their feelings and all that kind of stuff. So it can be a bit
hard to talk about, but
		
00:54:59 --> 00:54:59
			you
		
00:55:00 --> 00:55:22
			Just knowing like, the origins of your parents and the that generation, what it was like for them
growing up? How did they end up in the UK? You know, what was that journey? Really important? Start
and knowing all those little things, it's like, you actually get to know about yourself, right? You
get to know like, where you came from, and
		
00:55:23 --> 00:55:32
			how Allah subhanaw taala. Cause the what I like to say is, you know, Allah cause the universe to
conspire to, to put you where you are today, you know,
		
00:55:34 --> 00:55:50
			unless you speak to those people of that generation, and as far back as you can, and they feel
useful. So something that I come across a lot with the elderly is they feel useless. If they're not
included.
		
00:55:51 --> 00:55:59
			in different ways, you know, everybody's different, some are more hands on, they want to be included
with doing things. Some were talking some with
		
00:56:00 --> 00:56:22
			being bystanders and just observing, but they want to be included. And so whatever the means is to
center them in our communities, then Alhamdulillah not only are we doing them a lot of good, but
we're also gaining a lot. And ultimately it comes back to there's no choice about this, either.
		
00:56:23 --> 00:56:37
			islamically, there's no choice about this. Absolutely. And it's something that I've had to sort of
hammer home with my kids that it's not whether you feel like something, you want to do something,
this is central, you know, to
		
00:56:38 --> 00:56:49
			Islamic social architecture. Yes. If you take the religion label out of it, is for the benefit of
any community.
		
00:56:50 --> 00:57:20
			And you put people, people are going to age, England has got a very big aging population. And so
I've seen some projects are really lovely, where, but they're, they're few and far between, but I
think they can be replicated, where they've put university students in accommodation, right, next to
a care home. And that the connection is that they go and look after, or
		
00:57:24 --> 00:57:50
			occupied, the elderly, and the relationships been wonderful. There's actually studies done about it.
And the same has happened with some some parts of England, I can't remember which one where they've
got little children going in, to a care home, or to an elderly home, not necessarily a care home, to
a place where there's elderly and again, having a regular connection has benefited the elders a lot.
The
		
00:57:51 --> 00:57:57
			ways open, there's so many creative ways we can do more. But
		
00:57:59 --> 00:58:09
			the fact is, Uh hum de la, like, we're just talking about it today, we need to have many more of
these conversations. So it's part of our mission. And we're not
		
00:58:10 --> 00:58:14
			excluding them from the agenda of what's important in our lives.
		
00:58:16 --> 00:59:04
			Yeah, so Pamela, and, you know, I think even if, yeah, like you said, you know, even if you can't
see any particular benefit in, you know, any gain for you, for example, in kind of connecting with
an elderly person. The point is that it's our duty to write, and we've got to do it, we've, it's not
a negotiable, it's non negotiable. And just as you said, you know, we, we tend to make time for
children, and we think to ourselves, you know, okay, like, especially when, when we become mums, you
know, we are going to devote ourselves to this task for a certain number of years, especially when
they're young and really in a lot of need. But when the older generation are getting older, we,
		
00:59:05 --> 00:59:09
			unfortunately, people can tend to see them as an inconvenience, rather than
		
00:59:10 --> 00:59:59
			just as much of a duty, you know, to kind of serve them as it was to serve our children, if not
more. Yes, yeah. Precisely. And, and it gives, I think it's important that we acknowledge it's hard
and honest, but it is hard when you're responsible for a lot of different age groups. And I think a
lot of us fall on mothers, you know, it does. There are some great mothers and father teams that
manage it all. But it's just the way of society a lot does work. And it is difficult. It's not easy.
And it is a struggle. But if we're open about that, then at least we're able to exchange and support
and encourage each other and a lot of my conversations with friends nice about exactly that.
		
01:00:00 --> 01:00:12
			How to help each other and motivate each other. And you know, because you come, problems crop up is
not straightforward. But inshallah The intention is that is to do our best sincerely.
		
01:00:14 --> 01:00:14
			And also
		
01:00:16 --> 01:00:16
			life.
		
01:00:18 --> 01:00:52
			Sorry, say that again, and to have a balanced life at the end of the day, it's about balancing
everybody's needs. Yes, yes, yes. And I guess also bearing in mind that, you know, so Pamela, where
we are also going to be elderly one day, right? Charlie fuller gives us life. And the way we would
want, the younger generation to interact with us, is the way we should be interacting with them. I,
I've noticed that a lot of like, the older people in my family,
		
01:00:53 --> 01:01:00
			they really don't want drama anymore. You know, they like past that. They don't want dramatic things
happening. They just,
		
01:01:01 --> 01:01:27
			they just want a bit of peace, you know, and they want positive things, they want positivity. And
sometimes, like, when you're a bit younger, you still got a lot of drama going on, you know, can be
quite volatile, dramatic, etc, etc. But I think we have to be really conscious, like one of the
things that I try to do, I'm not always successful, but I try is
		
01:01:28 --> 01:01:32
			to think to myself, when I'm meeting my parents, for example,
		
01:01:34 --> 01:01:36
			that I'm just going to make them laugh, you know?
		
01:01:38 --> 01:01:54
			Yeah. during that meeting, however, whatever the length of time is, that I'm going to be meeting
them. I just want my mom to be happy and laughing, like, I want to tell the stories or make the mood
such light, you know?
		
01:01:56 --> 01:02:02
			Because there's so many other types of energy out there, you know? Yeah, absolutely. Why not be
		
01:02:06 --> 01:02:50
			Alhamdulillah, she's right nearby, so I see her more or less every day Alhamdulillah. And it says, I
completely identifies what you're saying is that the time we spend, try and make it happy, and
sometimes they can be quite negative as well. Yeah, as a reality across the board, some elderly can
feel quite low, quite lonely, especially with the whole pandemic, you can feel quite that what's
going to happen, they can feel scared. And so there's a role, we've got to try and help them as
well. And it works both ways. You know, sometimes I go to visit my mom, because she's so notified,
Michelle, that I can go everyday but, and I'll have things on my mind, and I will offload sometimes
		
01:02:50 --> 01:02:56
			they'll Mom, this, this, this, this, what I do about this, and then she'll give me really good
advice.
		
01:02:57 --> 01:03:01
			And say, is not really that big a problem. And that just helps.
		
01:03:04 --> 01:03:04
			I have the
		
01:03:06 --> 01:03:07
			kind of,
		
01:03:08 --> 01:03:15
			you know, panoramic view of life. And so they can kind of say, well, who cares? It doesn't matter.
You know?
		
01:03:16 --> 01:03:16
			I think
		
01:03:18 --> 01:03:20
			also, sometimes I think our generation has to be
		
01:03:21 --> 01:03:29
			patient, you know, because sometimes the older generation do want to tell you off or do want to tell
you what we're doing.
		
01:03:34 --> 01:03:53
			And it's a cultural thing, too. And culturally, you know, sometimes my mom's greeted will be, Oh,
you didn't do this, or you haven't done that? or Why are you wearing this. And that's not something
I take offense from. It's their way, it's that cultural way of communicating, they're not actually
trying to be negative. It's just
		
01:03:56 --> 01:04:02
			what I mean is like, part of lowering the wing of humility is allowing certain things to slide, you
know, like,
		
01:04:04 --> 01:04:16
			every little thing personally and like, because even just reflecting on the way I am with my kids,
like, I don't, it doesn't matter if they're 18 or 20, or whatever age, I'm still Mom, you know,
		
01:04:19 --> 01:04:40
			I'm still telling them where they're going wrong, right? So it's the same thing, right? It doesn't
matter if you're 40 or 50, or whatever. Like, your mom and dad are still gonna be, you know, still
see you as the child. So, absolutely. My mom told me, there's no way I'm going walking in the rain
the other day.
		
01:04:44 --> 01:04:59
			But the age doesn't come into it. They're your mom. And you know, I locked it off. I got the
umbrella and I went, but it was just sort of hamdulillah Al Hamdulillah. We're blessed to have them,
their company and I think it's
		
01:05:00 --> 01:05:33
			It's just and I'm really grateful to you, Michelle, last honor that you've made time and space to
talk about the elderly to be this, this as well using platforms to remember them to give them the
honor and space and to raise the awareness. Yeah, and even if your parents have passed away, like,
one of the things that I would do in encourages is when a person's father or mother has passed away
that you should actually keep in touch with your parents friends. Right. I mean, that's just amazing
when I when I read that was like, so Paula, last 100, that Allah
		
01:05:35 --> 01:06:05
			has allowed us to continue honoring our parents, by keeping in contact with their friends, because
it's so easy to forget those friends, but those friends meant so much to to your parents or your in
laws, or, you know, the elderly, and the elders. And it's a struggle. And you know, even yesterday,
I remember yesterday, being Friday, just thinking, this is an auntie I really need to find is
		
01:06:06 --> 01:06:41
			the wife of my father's really good friend. And I'm feeling as guilty as anything, because I have
kept remembering and kept forgetting. And so the struggle goes on. But it's, the reward is so much.
And it's, it's such an emotionally as well, a really beautiful connection, when you do make contact
with a parent who's passed away their friends, the front, there's just like ripples and ripples of
benefit in it. And they're so obviously, they have become so happy to hear from you.
		
01:06:43 --> 01:06:45
			So yeah, that's, that's a very good reminder. And
		
01:06:47 --> 01:07:09
			I think what, you know, we just have to change our mindset, isn't it? Like, I was just thinking that
we make time for so many things, like when we really want to, and, and I think it is part of that
whole disease of needing to do things publicly, you know, like, now, people when they're giving some
money to charity, they, they're sort of filming themselves, you know, talking to?
		
01:07:10 --> 01:07:47
			Well, I mean, we've got to that sort of stage now where, where people are so conscious of kind of
needing public validation, you know, but this thing of contacting your parents, relatives, friends,
these are things that only Allah is really going to know about, you know, that you're doing, and
you're gonna do it for the sake of Alex anyway, it's a very sincere, pure act. And I think just as
we make time to do, volunteerism, yeah, all kinds of things that people see us doing, and we get a
lot of, kind of, maybe public
		
01:07:48 --> 01:07:54
			recognition for, we've also got to make time for those things that nobody really knows about.
		
01:07:55 --> 01:08:17
			And it's not necessarily always enjoyable. That's data. That's the truth. You know, I'm all for just
saying it as it is. I'm glad. It's not always fun, because we can't always do things that please
ourselves, either. It's like other guys in it. It's like, we have a selection of charities, whether
you do it or not.
		
01:08:18 --> 01:08:27
			Yeah, you do it, you do it. And without expecting that it's going to tick the boxes for yourself
necessarily.
		
01:08:28 --> 01:08:37
			But it's an hamdulillah. It's an important part of a balanced healthy community society. Family.
		
01:08:39 --> 01:08:39
			Yeah.
		
01:08:41 --> 01:09:08
			Thank you so much. So my papa, you've today you've, you've drawn out attention to the youth, and
you've drawn our attention to the elderly. And I hope our listeners and viewers out there will, you
know, just take the time to reflect who are the young people who you could reach out to who are the
young people, apart from your children, you know, even are the other young people who need your
mentorship and your support? Oh, before I forget,
		
01:09:09 --> 01:09:13
			I wanted to show you this book, because I believe that the author of the book is,
		
01:09:15 --> 01:09:22
			has been a mentor to you. This, this was a book that really changed my life. Can you This is the old
print, can you imagine?
		
01:09:24 --> 01:09:27
			It's long the natural way by Abdullah Ahmed.
		
01:09:28 --> 01:09:33
			And the reason why I wanted to bring it up is because we were talking about mentors as well. And
		
01:09:34 --> 01:09:59
			you know, I found this book as a 13 year old on my dad's shelf, and I just come back from school
and, you know, people were asking me all sorts of questions about Islam. And, you know, I was asking
myself well, how I actually did like, want to know how do we explain to people about God, you know,
how do we explain these things and, and I remember just seeing this book on my
		
01:10:00 --> 01:10:12
			shelf and pull. Wow. Islam the natural wait, just the title of it was like, Yes. away, you know,
it's not a religion, you know, it's the natural way. I just loved that. And I remember
		
01:10:13 --> 01:10:24
			Yeah. And the way it kind of took me on a journey going from sounds like from first principles,
isn't it like? Absolutely Yeah.
		
01:10:26 --> 01:11:15
			You found yourself in the world now what are you going to do as a human right? You know, and it
takes you that mental journey. And for a teenager who really needed to be able to articulate and
understand that for myself. It was just like Subhanallah after reading this book, I was like, handle
I have absolutely no doubt that this is, you know, the deen of Allah and that we have to share it.
You know, Stefan Allah. So tell him telling me. Yeah, right. So I just love seeing that cover, I
have to take my nap. inshallah. I was probably about when I came across that older, some of the 17
came across it in a bookshop near Regent's Park mosque. And it had the same effect on me.
		
01:11:16 --> 01:11:22
			gained a lot from it again, because as I said to you, in the beginning, I didn't have formal Islamic
education, it was read.
		
01:11:24 --> 01:11:45
			This book crystallized so much for me and hamdulillah. And I remember, I went back and bought two
more copies to give to family. My another friend later on, I think about a year later, I was going
to university so again, another one, the front, and it just spoke to me so much and I really gained,
everything just came together.
		
01:11:47 --> 01:11:55
			And I didn't say this was anything but as Allah wills A few years later, I married his nephew. So
		
01:11:56 --> 01:12:05
			again, I mean, I love the way he plans and Subhanallah It's wonderful. So when I was putting turning
the tide together
		
01:12:07 --> 01:12:39
			I just initially got some ideas together done a one or two chapters. And I we used to visit Uncle
Uncle Whitehead, we call him Mashallah. And I used to visit him quite regularly. We went to faraway
we lived in London, and they lived in London and I showed him very, very cautiously because
Mashallah his knowledge of Quranic Arabic is amazing. And subsequently, after that he's written full
courses, access to Quranic Arabic graded steps. And, you know, very, very deep.
		
01:12:43 --> 01:12:44
			Yes, right.
		
01:12:45 --> 01:13:32
			Exactly. So does that specialism he has both in terms of history but also with Quranic Arabic. And
so I wanted to be sure cuz I was so worried and nervous. I've got this idea, but is it right? Is it
wrong? Should you do this type of thing, and I showed him, and Mashallah, he was so supportive. He
said, You know, this real need, especially for young people for this type of publication. And I
remember, keep checking with him, and you're sure this is okay. And he, when I finished it, and he
did keep reassuring me but when I finished, he went through every single translated, with a fine
tooth comb. I remember that weekend, he came to stay with us. And he stayed up a lot of the night
		
01:13:32 --> 01:14:14
			and said to me, now you go to sleep, he put young children to look after and he went through every
single page, every translation. And if I had put something that I had, I had put in a place where it
wasn't the actual meaning. You know, he showed me told me and get out. But unhandled Allah, thanks
to Uncle Whitehead, turning the tide came out. I don't think I would definitely I wouldn't have had
the confidence to do that on my own. So a lot of credit, Mashallah goes to him. And, you know, so
many people have benefited from his work, you know, may Allah reward him always for that, and I've
heard subsequently that a lot of people
		
01:14:15 --> 01:14:19
			converted, having read Islam, as well as other things, but it
		
01:14:21 --> 01:14:28
			you know, pivotal change in their mind, that actually this new religion, this is just
		
01:14:29 --> 01:14:31
			your natural disposition in terms of
		
01:14:33 --> 01:14:40
			your relationship with God and His creation. So Alhamdulillah I'm really grateful to you for
remembering
		
01:14:42 --> 01:14:47
			luck and also the effect and the mentorship I had the dude turning the tide.
		
01:14:48 --> 01:14:52
			Thank you, through his advice and through
		
01:14:53 --> 01:15:00
			Yahoo his guidance. We see, again that it really illustrates that gratitude that we need to
		
01:15:00 --> 01:15:07
			Have for that for the previous generation, right? Because I remember once there was a somebody, a
chef who is
		
01:15:08 --> 01:15:09
			kind of,
		
01:15:10 --> 01:16:00
			he came to the UK a lot later, like, you know, in the 2000s. And he was saying something, you know,
like about the previous generation, something a bit critical. And I remember emailing him and
saying, you know, like, with all due respect, you know, like, with all due respect, like you came to
the UK at a time when it was easy to be a Muslim, you know, and you don't realize, but only a decade
or two before that you would never see a hijabi on the street, like you're talking about, you're,
you're criticizing the previous generation and certain aspects of the previous generation, not
realizing that that generation made it easier for you to do anything that you're doing. You know,
		
01:16:01 --> 01:16:07
			obviously, I tried to say it in a nicer way than that. But, you know, I'd really, really like
		
01:16:08 --> 01:16:55
			annoyed me, you know, that any one of our generation would take it for granted. What those people
had the foresight to do, you know, and it's not, it's much easier now to get a book published. I
mean, it's still difficult, right? But it's much easier. Yeah. But to be that first generation, who
first thought of writing these books, you know, who first thought of building those massages, who
first thought of inviting Imams and other Muslims to the UK and, you know, all the hard work that
that generation did. And actually, they sacrificed a lot and what I could see at that younger years,
and they sacrificed a huge amount they didn't have the resources, there's this certain pockets of
		
01:16:55 --> 01:17:02
			society now that have a lot of resources, not across the board. But you know, Mashallah, there's
there's a lot of
		
01:17:03 --> 01:17:21
			resources in some areas of the work that's being done, but there wasn't that much then at all. And
it was a lot of self sacrifice. And basically, you know, dedicating their life to establishing
something I'm thinking here when I'm saying this of like, the Muslim educational trust in
		
01:17:23 --> 01:17:28
			North London, I think we gained so much from that book, the pink book
		
01:17:31 --> 01:17:35
			by Professor bill, I'm sorry, but again, I've never seen him.
		
01:17:37 --> 01:17:53
			really well. Mashallah. But he's dead his life to establishing a lot about Islamic education
education generally. And serving the community and laying this foundation block. But does anyone
know what it looks like?
		
01:17:54 --> 01:18:04
			No, no, yeah, I know his daughters as well, you know, who they were our childhood like these to hold
helicopters, and, you know,
		
01:18:05 --> 01:18:18
			my shoulder, but I don't, I've never seen him. But you're right, like their books, you know, other
books that made us right. And also in the same breath is that Chroma Rodman last minute.
		
01:18:19 --> 01:18:30
			I mean, huge, huge effect of positive effect, beautiful effect, I was very fortunate to go to his
talks at Islamic foundation when I was younger.
		
01:18:31 --> 01:18:45
			And very often, he would be called to give us a fragile reminder or something, because somebody else
wasn't around or speaker for the day didn't turn up and they were living, they're actually on site
		
01:18:46 --> 01:18:53
			at different times of the year. And those were probably till this day, the most beautiful talks I've
ever heard
		
01:18:55 --> 01:19:02
			completely unprepared, but then the person was prepared person all the time. That's the difference
		
01:19:03 --> 01:19:12
			in the most loving, beautiful, beautiful, messy messages, which will stay with me always inshallah.
		
01:19:13 --> 01:19:29
			So their legacy is a very precious one very beautiful one. Yeah, so you know, our generation must
make the offer them and remember that we're standing on the shoulders of giants. Really, you know,
it's a panel it does, I can see
		
01:19:30 --> 01:19:31
			all of that with us.
		
01:19:32 --> 01:19:36
			You know, you've taken us on a trip down memory lane, Mashallah.
		
01:19:37 --> 01:19:41
			And I hope people will get a copy of your book turning the tide
		
01:19:42 --> 01:19:53
			published by the Islamic foundation. So much i love the same organization that you've mentioned
quite a few times during this session that obviously had played an important part in your life.
		
01:19:54 --> 01:20:00
			May Allah Allah reward you for writing such a beautiful book and may
		
01:20:00 --> 01:20:02
			weigh heavily on your skills on the Day of Judgment.
		
01:20:04 --> 01:20:16
			And also just like a lot to everybody who had pot to play in that, including yourself this insider I
remember Hey, Chris, yes, for this last edition, you actually checked it off for me again.
		
01:20:17 --> 01:20:17
			Maybe.
		
01:20:18 --> 01:20:20
			But hamdulillah I'm
		
01:20:21 --> 01:20:22
			really agreed to
		
01:20:24 --> 01:20:31
			keep publishing as well. And we mustn't forget the creative designer creatively to
		
01:20:32 --> 01:20:34
			redesign the whole thing. And
		
01:20:35 --> 01:20:46
			that's what has become very attractive to a lot, especially our younger sisters. I'm getting a lot
of really lovely feedback from them. They're just immediately attracted. So that credit goes to the
brother who's the designer?
		
01:20:48 --> 01:21:06
			Well, that's the great thing about a book. You know, it's a collaborative effort, isn't it? But it's
the words The words are the kind of, I'd say the most powerful thing about a book. So does it laugh,
Aaron? Suma up and I hope you have a good weekend. salaam aleikum wa
		
01:21:08 --> 01:21:10
			Monica Michelle Mrs. Mehta live.
		
01:21:12 --> 01:22:01
			And with that, dear brothers and sisters, I'm going to leave you in sha Allah, I bid you farewell. I
hope you enjoyed the episode. Please do share the episode with as many brothers and sisters and
friends that you can, you know, you never know when somebody might hear something that they really
needed to hear. And also we want to spread these positive messages you know about the youth about
the elderly as well and the books and things that we've can benefit from so do share the episode in
Sharla like the episode and leave a comment. And with that, I'm going to say Salaam salaam aleikum
wa rahmatullah wa barakato. subhanak Allahu morbihan. Dig a shadow Allah, Allah inlanta A stuff
		
01:22:01 --> 01:22:02
			hirokawa to Bulik