Edris Khamissa – Rekindling The Family Life In Ramadhan

			In the Name of Allah, the Beneficent, the Merciful, the Lord of all the worlds to whom we belong. To
whom is our return and made choices blessings, go to the highest of Allah creation, our beloved
Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, the most generous in companionship. The most gentle speech
Indeed, the most eloquent ambassador to humanity at large, as salaam aleikum wa rahmatullah wa
barakato.
		

			As a speaker,
		

			I'm acutely aware of one very important thing
		

			that many of us, including myself,
		

			have listened to many, many talks in the past.
		

			But the real crucible or acid test is how much we have heard, we have implemented. That's the bottom
line.
		

			Imam ghazali speaks about five steps in learning.
		

			He says The first step is, of course, silence is like almost psychologically preparing yourself for
the talk, you are your focus, then you listen.
		

			Then you memorize your practice, then you teach it to others. And the Sahaba whenever they learned
anything from the mobile Eclipse or Nabi, sallAllahu, wasallam.
		

			They were restless, you know, they internalize the knowledge. And the they thought it to others. So
the best way of learning is
		

			to internalize it, and teach it to others. Now, I chose this particular topic, because, you know,
Ramadan comes, and it goes, I mean, and we think of those loved ones that were here last year, and
they're not here today. And I want you to understand that the fragility of life.
		

			Life is very, very fragile. It's very, very frail.
		

			And I've come to this conclusion, not based on any empirical evidence, as it were. And I've traveled
many, many parts of the world.
		

			Our homes have become very sad places,
		

			is supposed to be the happiest place with these an affirmation acknowledgement laughter.
		

			And in the month of Ramadan, especially forgiveness, which is such a critical factor,
		

			family members would make mistakes.
		

			And ally is gofal Rahim. And one of the things that I say
		

			is, is it not ironical? That we are going to search for the night of power,
		

			and we want to seek Allah's forgiveness, we could beg him for Allah's forgiveness, yet
		

			they someone that you ought to forgive, you don't want to forgive is your compassion is a very
important thing.
		

			You see, they say, you can be either a person of success or a person of significance.
		

			A person of success in the way success is defined, is a person that enjoys the material benefits.
When you say to someone, x person is successful, then in your mind, you have an image of him having
a nice home, a nice car, and so on and so forth.
		

			But how does Islam define success, and therefore I say, we must be people not of success, but of
significance. The people of significance are those individuals who impact on the hearts and minds of
people, and especially your family, and especially your family. The real test is not what society is
going to say about you. The real test is what your family is going to say about you. You know, I
jokingly tell everyone, and hamdulillah I'm blessed with a lot of people that I love throughout the
world, including Malaysia Alhamdulillah. And I say to everyone, I do not mind if the rest of the
world stops talking to me. But I want to be in a happy home. So the source speaking about success
		

			and significance and it's very, very important.
		

			With our families,
		

			that we connect with them physically, in other words, holding them, embracing them. That's a way of
Nabi sallallahu, wasallam. Also, it's about connecting with them emotionally. Sometimes what happens
now own homes, we do not connect emotionally to our own children, our spouses, for example. And I'd
always recommend that you show that expression of love to your spouse, front of the children. In
that way, you're promoting the institution of marriage. And there are lots of people who grew up in
homes, where they never seen that expression of that love. And it has a profound whenever I deal
with, in many cases, people that are going through medical issues, and ask them tell me from the
		

			home that you were you grew up in? What kind of home was it?
		

			And many of them would say, you know, what, my mom and dad,
		

			they never showed that expression of that love. And these often get into conflict, and so on and so
forth. So the child growing up, would think that's a norm as it were. So it's very, very important
that we make the home into a sanctuary into a safe place. Now, it does not mean for example, that
you and the wife
		

			must agree on everything. We are very boring marriage. Right? very boring. Right? You can disagree
as long as you're not disagreeable.
		

			And a funny thing happened today.
		

			I was looking at Google, Google. And I put the topic what
		

			what to happy families have in common? And others blessing my article.
		

			I forgot I wrote that up.
		

			So are we ready for my article? You don't mind You know? So I feel I feel
		

			a satellite so merciful, right. So an hour to share with that I want to share with you practical
things. So my suggestion is this and rarely, rarely. I you know, I plead with people. I plead with
people to understand, Allah knows we are human, we can make mistakes. The wife will make mistakes,
the husband will make mistakes. Children make mistakes, this part of it. And it saddens me even in
the month of Ramadan, because I help people with medical issues back in South Africa. And wherever
else. People phoned me up, they say I had enough phone to leave my husband or my wife, I see the
month of Ramadan and opportunity you've got to heal to connect with people, right. And I also you
		

			know, have come to the conclusion that if we do things islamically in terms of separation, what not
to be very few marriages that will break off. Right, very few. So anyway, so what is important is
this, that
		

			when you speak to people, much later in life, and I shared the story and often shared this,
statistically, our sisters outlive us. I jokingly say they give us so much of heartache, we die
before they wreck. Right. So and but in my father mother's case, my mother passed away before my
Father, may Allah grant all of parents the highest status in Ghana. And so I went home to my
hometown pushups in, in South Africa. And I was talking to my father in the bedroom. I say, Daddy, I
said, Tim, you and I did not know. Allah gave us an angel on top you but my mother and my father put
his head down. He said, What can I do my beloved Son, I cannot turn back the clock.