Ebrahim Bham – True Friendship
AI: Summary ©
The importance of friendships in Islam is discussed, including the need for healthy networks and the importance of knowing friendships' behavior. The segment emphasizes the importance of friendships in relationships, respecting others' opinions, and being true to oneself. The segment also touches on ways to improve friendships, such as making friendships honest, giving advice, and being aware of one's friend's actions. The segment ends with a brief advertisement for a program on missing family and friends.
AI: Summary ©
Alhamdulillah, alhamdulillahi ala khilbihi ba'da ilmihi wa ala
akhbihi ba'da qudratihi wassalatu wassalamu ala sayyidil anbiyaali
wal mursaleen wa ala aalihi wa ashaabihi wassalamu
tasliman li kathiran kathiran.
Amma ba'du alfawudu minnahi minash shaytanir rajeem.
Bismillahir Rahmanir Raheem.
Al akhlaa yawmaidhin ba'duhum li ba'd.
Li ba'din aloo illa al mutaqeen.
Sadaqallahul Azeem.
My dear respected elders and brothers, you and
I, we have different and various relationships in
this world, which we have to maintain.
The greatest relationship we have is with Allah
subhanahu wa ta'ala and our beloved Nabiya
Kareem sallallahu alaihi wasallam.
So that is the greatest relationship, that we
have relationship with Allah and the Prophet sallallahu
alaihi wasallam.
However, we are human beings, we are social
beings, we interact, we need company, we need
interaction.
So together with that, Allah ta'ala has
also given us emphasis to maintain relationship with
relatives.
Our parents, our relatives.
And sometimes we also need a relationship which
is beyond that.
A relationship which is beyond our relatives, beyond
our parents' children.
And that means a circle of friends.
Each and everyone, we are human beings, we
need social interaction.
We need people whom we can maybe share
our sorrows, our grief.
We can be able to talk to them.
We can take joy in their company.
And that is one of the aspects that
Islam has also given due recognition to.
That it has accommodated and told us to
have friends, especially people who are good friends.
As I will go on to explain.
Friendship can be one of the most beautiful
and vital aspects and one of the most
beautiful joys in a person's life.
Hazrat Ali r.a used to say, that
person is poor who doesn't have friends.
Luqman the wise had said that have hundreds
of friends.
Have hundreds of friends.
And even hundreds of friends are not enough.
Friendship is an important relationship.
And a person should fulfill it.
Hazrat Ali r.a said, that person is
poor who doesn't have friends.
And Luqman the wise said, that have hundreds
of friends.
People who love each other.
And that is also less.
So it is important that we have to
keep, first of all, let us understand the
importance of friendship.
Nabiya Kareem s.a.w. had said, المرء
على دين خليله فلينظر أحدكم من يخاله A
person is on the religion of his friends.
Now the word that has been used is
المرء على دين Now دين doesn't only mean
religion.
It means he is on the way of
his friends.
فلينظر أحدكم So everyone must see who he
befriends.
He must look at who he befriends.
Because he is on his way of his
friends.
If you want to understand the أخلاق and
the conduct of a person, if you want
to understand how a person is, see the
people who make him friendship with.
Psychologists have told us, that you are the
average of your five closest friends.
You are the average of your five closest
friends.
What you are, it is what we have
learned from your five closest friends.
So therefore Nabiya Kareem s.a.w. had
said, فلينظر أحدكم من يخاله المرء على دين
خليله A person is on the way.
Sometimes people use it as دين.
But some ulema have said that you are
on the way of your friends.
So you must see who you befriend.
Nabiya Kareem s.a.w. has said that
you are on the way of your friends.
So everyone should have good friends.
You know, sometimes friends are also friends and
friends.
In today's time we have, I got so
many friends on Facebook.
I got so many friends on Instagram who
are following me.
Some people have got 5,000.
Some people have got 10,000.
Some people have got half a million, one
million.
These are not actual friends.
You know, it reminds me of what happens
in surah Kahf.
So in surah Kahf, there is a very
interesting conversation between two people.
Now one is a wealthy person and one
is a poor person.
The poor person is very pious and he
is advising the other of his friend who
is wealthy.
And the wealthy person is telling him, أَنَا
أَكْثَرُ مِنْكَ مَالُّهُ وَأَزْزُنَ فَرَحًۭ I got more
wealth than you and I got more friends
than you.
I got so many friends.
But those friends are not friends who are
true friends who will come to your assistance.
They are friends who know you because of
your fame.
Who know you because perhaps you are wealthy.
But now you see, how do we choose
between good and bad friends?
This is the most important thing.
It is good to keep friends.
But such friends who are good and pious.
Therefore it comes in a Quranic ayat.
Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala makes mention which
I read in the khutbah.
Friends will be enemies of one another.
Let me say that again.
The friends that we had in this world,
on the day of Qiyamah, they will be
enemies.
Except the friendship that is based on taqwa.
That is based on deen.
That is based on good.
Those...
That is the one that will keep you
going.
Let us tell you another important thing.
Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala in the holy
Quran says, On the day of Qiyamah, parents
will run away from the children.
The children will run away from the parents.
Relatives will run away from one another.
But Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala says, That
friendship which is based on taqwa will hold
you steadfast.
And will remain even on the day of
Qiyamah.
And many times you see this.
You see that the families are fighting with
regard to the inheritance.
And a friend is missing the person who
is under the cover.
And he is making dua for him.
While everyone is worried about the inheritance, the
friends are worrying about the person who has
passed on.
So this is the importance of friends.
That Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala says, Friends
will be enemies except the friends who are
based on taqwa.
And based on piety.
And on the other hand, Allah subhanahu wa
ta'ala in the holy Quran, also warned
us with regard to friends who take you
on the wrong path.
Friends who take you on the wrong path.
Come on man, what's wrong?
Go and have something, go and have fun.
You know, you're doing something.
Aliyadu billah, you know, you are having a
relationship with a woman.
It's part of fun.
You can ask Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala
for forgiveness afterwards.
And Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala says, Such
people on the day of Qiyamah will have
a regret.
Ya wailata laytani lam attakhir fulanan khalilah.
Kash me esa aadmi ko dos na lakta
jino ne mujhe guna ke raah par dikaya.
Or guna ke raah me mujhe lete gaya.
If only I did not kept that person
as a friend who took me and did
me wrong.
So can you see the importance with regard
to friends?
And therefore Nabiya Kareem sallallahu alayhi wa sallam
had said in a hadith, The two examples
of friendship.
What an amazing example Nabiya Kareem sallallahu alayhi
wa sallam had said.
With regard to the example of good and
bad friends.
Nabiya Kareem sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said, You
know, one example of a good and a
bad friend, Is like the example of a
blacksmith and a perfumer.
A blacksmith who makes iron.
Makes iron hot.
And of course we know that that particular
type of blacksmith, When he makes the iron
hot, there will be fire.
And in that particular fire there will be
a stench.
And there will be a bad smell.
So Nabiya Kareem sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said,
The example of a bad friend, Is like
the one who goes to a blacksmith.
So even if you don't buy something from
the blacksmith, By you being in that particular
shop, You are going to smell the bad
smell and it's going to come up on
your clothes.
So when you come down there, You will
find people who are saying, What a smell
you got?
Common smell is coming up from your clothes.
That is an example of a bad friend.
And sometimes it happens.
I mean you stand next to a person
who smokes excessively.
You go away.
It happens to me.
You know I come back home from someone,
Standing next to someone, Or speaking to someone
who used to smoke excessively.
The wife says, Why are you smelling full
of cigarette today?
So sometimes it happens like that.
And the example of a good friend, What
a beautiful example.
His example is like the one who goes
to the atar shop.
Who goes to a perfumer.
Go to his and hers in the oriental
class.
You just go into that shop.
You just feel beautiful smell.
And you spray one or two bottles.
People are spraying.
So that's an example of a good friend.
Even if you don't buy the perfume, Just
being in that particular shop gives you happiness.
Sometimes you are in a mood.
Just go there.
You get happiness.
So that is an example of a good
friend.
And the Quran and Hadith has also showed
us, With regard to good friends.
So the first thing, Let me give you
a few qualities of a good friend.
The first example of a good friend, Is
one, Is your friendship is for the sake
of Allah.
Not for the sake of meaning.
There are many friends for the sake of
meaning.
But such friends, Who are for Allah.
The prophet said, Seven people will be under
the shade of Allah's throne on the day
of Qiyamah.
One, One who loves another person only for
the sake of Allah.
One who loves another person only for the
sake of Allah.
Hazrat Mufti Shafi Sahab has made mention of
it In his Ma'aripur Quran.
A person went to visit a friend.
He went all the way to visit a
friend.
In the previous times.
So an angel, So
the person, the angel asked him, Where are
you going?
I am going to meet a friend.
What is your maqsad?
What is your objective to go and meet
him?
I have no objective.
I don't owe him money.
I don't take money from him.
I don't have any respect with regard to
him.
I only love him for the sake of
Allah.
The angel says, The reason why I asked
you is not Because I doubted your integrity
Or your intention.
The reason why I asked you is Because
Allah has told me that Allah loves you
The way you love your friend.
Allah loves you The way you love your
friend.
So love one another For the sake of
Allah.
Not for the sake of any other reason.
Alhamdulillah, today they are such friends.
We love one another for the sake of
Allah.
Otherwise, what benefit you get from other friends?
Other than because you worry about them, You
care about them, you have concern about them.
And you love them for the sake of
Allah.
The second aspect With regard to a friend
is You must have a friend who is
Honest, wise and intelligent.
Don't have a friend who is ignorant.
Sometimes an ignorant friend Will harm you Even
if he thinks Oh, he has an intention
of doing you good.
Keep such friends Who have intellect.
Don't keep friends with an ignorant person.
Don't keep friends with an ignorant person.
I made mention of this incident many a
times.
You know, Three people were in an island.
There were three people in an island.
So on the three islands, The people now,
all of a sudden, The jinn came.
The jinn said, I give each and every
one of you One particular wish.
So one particular person said, I'm missing my
family.
I want to go back to my family.
I'm missing my wife and children.
So the jinn said, And he went back
to his family.
The other person said, I'm missing my friends.
I want to be in my friends' company
In my circles.
I want to be in the place where
they are having You know, majlis.
I want to be there.
So the jinn, he blowed on him.
And he's gone.
He went to his friends.
Now the third particular person said, What is
your wish?
He said, I'm missing my friends.
Bring them back.
Sometimes An ignorant friend will He didn't do
it out of bad intention.
He did it because of good intention.
But what had happened, those people who had
gone away from the island, They came back.
So keep friends with a person Who is
intellect.
Nabi A.S. even told us, Go and
make mashra with people who have intellect.
Go and make mashra with a ulama.
You will bring Their experience and their wisdom
And their knowledge Into your decision.
Just make.
You go make mashra with someone, All the
experience he get, You will get that experience.
All the ilm he's got, You will get
that ilm.
So the first thing is, have friends who
are honest and wise.
Secondly, Have friends who remind you of Allah
And take you away from gunah.
And when you speak to them, Increases your
knowledge And his actions remind you of The
year after.
Your best friend is one When you see
him, You're reminded of Allah subhanahu wa ta
'ala.
When he speaks, your knowledge increases.
And when he does his action, You know,
you think of aakhirat.
Have such friends, Who remind you of Allah
subhanahu wa ta'ala.
When you speak to them, Your knowledge increases.
And when you see his actions, You're reminded
of aakhirat.
You should have such friends.
If you have someone in your life, Who
encourages you to do good deeds, Wallahi al
-azim, And he keeps you away from gunah,
Then you then pray.
On the day of qiyamah, The people of
jahannam will be asked, Why are you in
jahannam?
Why are you in jahannam?
We didn't have good friends to tell us
right things.
The people of jahannam will say, We didn't
have good friends.
Then the third thing with regard to it,
A friend is like a mirror.
In the mirror, you see your good and
your bad.
You see the things that are on your
face, The scars on your face.
A person who...
A friend is like a mirror.
He reveals to you, Your true appearance.
He doesn't hide anything.
And you know what a beautiful thing, Someone
had said, A friend is he who steps
you in the front.
He tells you in front, Listen, this is
a person.
This is what you are supposed to do.
And he sees you doing wrong.
Why are you doing this?
Why are you not reading namaz?
Why are you doing evil?
Why are you taking interest?
And there he saw the house of Abu
Darda Is completely shabby.
No furniture, no nothing.
No neatness.
He saw Umm Darda completely, You know, in
a shabby clothes.
And he asked, Umm Darda, Umm Darda, what
is this?
Look at your house.
Look at how you are living.
Your friend Abu Darda doesn't have intervention to
this world.
If I neaten the house, If I neaten
myself, He doesn't look at me, he doesn't
look at the house.
Abu Darda, Salman said, this is not right.
I need to fix it.
So the time after Isha, He came, he
was about to make ibadah.
He said, you can't make ibadah now.
Sleep.
Otherwise go to your wife.
Then you come back and make ibadah.
Next time you want to get up, no,
sleep.
He didn't allow him to sleep, to get
up until the last time of the day,
the time of tahajjud, just before saying, see
now you can make ibadah.
The next day they went to Nabi Kareem.
Abu Darda said, he didn't allow me to
make ibadah.
Salman Farsi said, I went to the house,
this is what I saw about the house.
The house wasn't clean.
There was nothing there.
He was not looking after himself and his
wife.
He was not caring about his wife.
Nabi Kareem sallallahu alaihi wasallam said, Salman Farsi
is correct.
Inna limalika alika haqq, kuli zawjika alika haqq,
kuli zawrika alika haqq.
Your family has a right upon you, your
house has a right upon you, your wealth
has a right upon you.
What a beautiful friendship.
The other one is, the friend doesn't look
at the faults of another friend.
Today this is one of the big things.
A friend only sometimes, only look at your
bad points.
He doesn't look at your bad points.
So this is also one of the things
that our ulama have said, a friend looks
at the good points of his friend.
And he doesn't only look at his evil.
His evil, he try to rectify it.
But today you find people who are friends,
who are not complete sincere friends, what they
do is, they never look at the good.
They only look at the evil of the
friend.
They only look at the bad points.
In Hizbul Azam, under the authority of Daylami,
there is a dua, that Nabiye Kareem Sallallahu
Alaihi Wasallam you know, made dua, Oh Allah,
I seek your protection from friends.
I seek protection from a friend that when
when he see my good points, he doesn't
tell anyone.
But when he see my evil, and he
see my bad points, and he sees my
faults, he will tell the whole world.
And that same hadith, you know, that same
dua, Oh Allah, I seek your protection to
shake my body before I walk.
Oh Allah, I seek your protection from a
woman who makes me old before my time.
Even dua hadith.
Oh Allah, I seek your protection from a
woman and a wife that makes me old
before my time.
So this is also the hadith.
So this is also the other aspect.
And one of all, a friend is always
loyal.
He doesn't only follow you when you have
wealth.
He follows you in your difficulty.
He helps you in your difficulty.
When you have any difficulty, he is there
to assist you.
As a friend.
Just like Abu Bakr.
Subhanallah.
What and what didn't he do for Nabiye
Karim Sahib?
Went for hijab.
Hazrat Abu Bakr is running in front.
Running in front.
Nabi Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam is running in front.
Then afterwards, he is running in the back.
Abu Bakr, why are you running in front?
Why are you running in the back?
Or...
Sometimes I think, Ya Allah, there is an
enemy who is waiting in ambush in front.
Sometimes I think someone is following us.
And then one occasion, one occasion, there was
one stretch.
Hazrat Abu Bakr told Nabiye Karim Sallallahu Alaihi
Wasallam, Ya Rasulullah, I'm going to carry you
on my back.
Why, Abu Bakr?
Ya Rasulullah, the people of Mecca are going
to seek the footprints of two people.
When they see only one footprint, they will
say, this is not the way that Nabiye
Karim Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam and Abu Bakr took.
Because there are two people and there is
only one footprint.
That is said also.
And one important thing.
I'll make mention of it in another bayan.
Very important thing is to see to it
that your children have good friends.
Imam Ghazali, rahmatullahi alaihi wa sallam, said that
part of the tarbiyah of a father to
his children is to see that they got
good friends.
And today there is no doubt whatsoever.
One of the greatest reasons our children go
on the wrong path is because of wrong
friends.
So you have to see to it, the
elders of the family have to see to
it, that the children have good friends.
May Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala keep our
friendship for the sake of Allah ta'ala.
Give us good friends.
Let us be good friends.
Not only we seek good friends, we must
become good friends.
We must become friends who will be loyal
to others.
We must be friends who will tell our
friends that, listen, what you are doing is
not correct.
We must go and fight with him.
Why are you doing this?
You're not supposed to do this.
This is going to harm you.
So may Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala give
us this.
Wa aakhiru da'awana.