Bilal Assad – The Repenter

			Allahu Barakatu once again, my dear brothers and sisters,
		

			today, I've got a little treat for you a story, a story that I delivered
		

			24 years ago
		

			and it inspired a lot of people, it gave them hope. And I want to share that with you inshallah.
		

			And the credit goes out to a great shape.
		

			Who was one of those that I listened to in the 90s when I was about 15 years old, his name is shake
sad that a brick
		

			and this story,
		

			the shaitan may come to you and say that I'm just making it up.
		

			However, Wallahi this story, I have confirmed it with people that were involved in it. And the story
happens really in Riyadh in Saudi Arabia, but I think it's going to connect to all of us inshallah.
So here it goes.
		

			Smilla rahmanir rahim. First of all, I want to make an introduction to it. The story is all about
repentance and hope. It's about Allah's forgiveness and mercy. It's about when you've hit rock
bottom, and you've done all the sins of the world. And it tells you do not give up for Allah
forgives all sins.
		

			My dear brothers and sisters, the story begins with a particular shape.
		

			I don't know the name of this particular show. But he lives in Riyadh, and he was on a trip like the
one we're on now.
		

			I think he went on a conference or a business in one of the neighboring countries to Saudi Arabia.
Till today, I don't know which one it is. But apparently, it had a place there, where it was set up
for the Western people to come in to enjoy their alcohol and all the other stuff, as you know.
		

			So the shirt he says I had some business to do that.
		

			And then after I finished my business, I managed to finish a day before my flight.
		

			And then I was extremely tired and exhausted. So I went, looking for a place to stay. I didn't know
this city. I didn't know what it was like.
		

			I entered a hotel to hire a room. But in that room, but in that hotel, all I saw was men and women
indulging in lustful temptations, drinking wine, music and dancing. I had never seen something like
this in my life.
		

			And one person who was in there happened to be a Muslim expatriate who was working there. And when
he saw me, he said, Yeah, che,
		

			please, this is not a place for you. I don't want to see a che was a role model. In his place. He
said, Where am I gonna go? And I'm really tired. He said, Yeah, you know, you can stay here, but
it's not a place for you. So the shift says, I couldn't stay there. I left. I left and I found a
park. And in that park, there was a bench. So I decided to sleep on that bench. And I didn't care
about anything else, because I was extremely tired. And then close to about fish at a time. My
flight was about to leave the hood a little bit later. And I decided that maybe I can find a cab or
a taxi or, you know, a car to take me to the airport. Instead, I took a car to the airport. And in
		

			the airport, there was a prayer room. I went to the prayer room and I prayed My pleasure. And
usually then let people sleep inside the prayers. But I was so exhausted that I couldn't help myself
but go to sleep. It said during my sleep time, nobody entered the prayer room. And then close to
about one hour into my sleep. I wake up to the sound of a cry. I looked in front of me. And there
was a young man, a man that was not more than about 25 years old, less than 30, a young man at the
beginning of his life. He was praying and crying so badly. It like a mother who had just lost her
child, or like a person who had just lost something very dear to them a loved one. It said I I've
		

			seen many people like that cry and their Salah and everything in my life. So I didn't really pay
much attention. I was too tired. So I went back to sleep is as close to about a lot of time. I wake
up again, and it was the same young man who was praying. He came up to me and his eyes looked like
he hadn't slept for three or four days. He looked really tired and hungry. And he was so distressed.
He looked at me and with shock. He said to me, he or she has a stuffy or antennae. Are you really
able to go to sleep? Are you able really to sleep? He goes Yes. I'm really tired. He says Well, I
don't know how to sleep anymore. Yeah, I don't know how to sleep. I've been running around for three
		

			nights and three days. I can't sleep. I can't eat I can't enjoy
		

			In my life, and I don't want to go back home, he said, what's going on? He says, I'm from Riyadh.
And I just don't want to go back to my family. So the sheriff says, look at a time was really
approaching. And we decided to pray the Lord. And I said to him, we'll speak after the Lord of time,
but isn't the law here.
		

			He says, we prayed together, there's just him and I, and no one else joined us. And then after the
vote, I sat with him, I had a couple of hours before I fly, I sat with him. And he said to me,
		

			now in this story, we're just going to use the name, Ahmed.
		

			Ahmed is not the real name. But that's the name that the chef gives, because he doesn't want to
expose him.
		

			He said to me, I am a man who is married. I have children. And I come from a very wealthy family. We
are entrepreneurs. We don't need to work because our income is passive. We are millionaires,
probably even billionaires. We have everything at the tips of our finger. And we have maids. We have
workers, we have the best of cars, we have the best of food, everything that you can imagine. We
have it. He said, But as time went on, I got too bored of the wealth and the luxuries. And I thought
to myself, isn't there more to life? I want to try something else. Yes, I've got everything. But I
want to try something else. And my dear brothers and sisters, this is exactly what the shaitan does.
		

			The Shaitan comes up to you and says, Why don't you get out of your comfort zone? Nothing wrong with
that. But then the Shaitan says to you, why don't you try something you have never done before. You
know how Islam says this is haram and that's haram, why don't you try something haram for a change,
just have a little taste of it. You don't have to do something big. Just do something small. You
know, hang around with some of the boys some of the girls who just probably do something that's a
little bit haram, but not too haram, you're not doing anything. Just hang around with them, have a
laugh, just have a kickback. You know, just enjoy it. And then come back and you're okay. And
		

			shaitan comes and says to you Don't worry, you can go and pray a couple of prayers. It'll wash it
away. Some other people they say I'll just go and do haram in the next year. I'll do some hombre,
the camera will wash off the scenes, this is how we saw he goes so your shave the shaitan came to me
and I thought I'm gonna get out and do something I've never done before. A little bit of haram, just
the little minor sins here and there he goes, but I couldn't do it because my family was all around
me. Everybody knows me. I can't do things when people see me. I'll go to you know, be away from
everyone. If I'm going to do any harm, we're going to do it in a way where no one's going to judge
		

			me. You know, let my hair down a little bit. Come back to a bit of ombre and I'm done.
		

			He says yes che so then I made up an excuse that I was burned going on a business trip I told my
wife and my children and I came to this country that you and I in Cydia che Allah here I did not
intend to do anything major, just to do minor sins in return and Allah Subhana Allah forgives. It
said before I knew it, I surrounded myself with some other people who have come from different other
countries, Muslims, just like me. You know, they pray they fast they do everything. But they've come
here for the same reason that I have come Subhanallah * to shaitan takes you to these places. And
as soon as I surrounded myself with the people who I was looking forward to have a little bit of
		

			fun, watching them doing the Haram but me just laughing and enjoying it. He said before I knew it.
Night after night, day after day, my temptation started to grow. What was what seemed to be big
haram to me, began to seem very normal to me. What seemed to be really bad to me. I thought, What's
the big deal? Everybody's doing it. And I became a numb Yoshi. As my lustful temptations began to
grow. I'm away from my wife and my children, and nice friends around me making everything look so
easy and normal. The peer pressure came to me and then I took everything really easy. You know that
feeling how you feel when you come normalize the sins. He said day after day, night after night. And
		

			then we were surrounded by alcohol. I never drink your chef Allah He was surrounded by gambling. I
didn't gamble your chef Wallahi. And then finally, the women came and my friends wanted to chit chat
and flirt with them. I flirted a little bit they flirted with me. And then we began to exchange
words, night after night, day after day, and my friends would go into rooms in hotels, and they
would come out all happy and excited and then they will drink. And I'm just smiling and laughing
until I my temptations began to overcome me. I said yes, she had one of the women who sat with me.
She was so charming, and she was so good. And I began my lesson, temptations began to rise. You
		

			know, brothers, sisters in science and biology. There's something called the prefrontal cortex. I
want the young people to know this, this prefrontal cortex here it grows when you reach puberty, and
when you reach puberty, it keeps growing until you're about 25. It's responsible for decision
making, for your feeling of morals right and wrong. It's the rational center. So when that
prefrontal cortex is blocked, you no longer think rationally you think with your decision
		

			If you think with your emotions, he says, When my lust began to grow, and even in science, this is
true when your lust grow and your temptations and your desires, your prefrontal cortex actually
blocks itself. It's really used Allah made it so that when you get married, so you're not shy with
your wife and your husband. So things can be easy between you so that you don't feel too shy when
you come together and you can shell or reproduce. That's the whole point of marriage in sha Allah
and more than that, of course, love and everything before lusts and temptations. But he said, My
prefrontal cortex and everything blocked and my lust took over your share. And suddenly before I
		

			knew what I don't know how I ended up in that room with that woman, and as Allah Allah rasool Allah
Azza wa sallam said, McDonough Raj
		

			Illa, Karna, shaytaan authorly Tahoma no man or woman ever are in seclusion together, except that
the shaytaan is always there. Third, don't ever think that you are so powerful and innocent enough
not to fall into temptations, and said, Yeah, I've never done anything like that before in my life.
And then suddenly, one minute became two minutes and tumors became fat. And suddenly I found myself
doing the head on with her, the absolute Zina, and yeah, sure. I don't know what happened to me. And
then after this temporary lustful enjoyment, suddenly, it was ended. And when it was ended, my
temptations cooled down, my lust cooled down, and then my conscience and my Eman came back. And the
		

			guilt and the shame began to hurt me. I felt like I knew it was about to fall to the floor. I felt
like he began to rise in my body in a way of guilt and shame that I wished I could never exist. I
said to myself, murder. What have I done? What about my wife? What about my children? What about my
hereafter? Allah subhanho wa Taala will not forgive me for this. Oh my god, how I penetrated this
wall. Yara, he said I forgot about everything. I just began to scream. And I rushed out of the door
and ran down the stairs. It says at the door of the hotel, I saw one of the main culprits that was
with us he ended up being sorry for this word. He goes he ended up being a pimp, one who hires women
		

			who takes money and he I had been one of the victims of this person after I knew. I said,
subhanAllah I wish that they would have just taken my money and I and told me what they're trying to
do to me. But Subhan Allah, I ended up doing Zina a major sin, your Allah, what am I going to do?
And he says, That man who was with me he's a Muslim, apparently. And he said to me, what's wrong?
What's wrong? I said to him, I have committed Zina. Do you know what Zina is? It's adultery. And the
man just said to me, he had a bottle of wine in his hand. He said, Oh, it's easy. easily fixed, my
friend. Yeah, just drink a little bit of wine and you'll forget all your problems. You won't feel
		

			any guilt. You won't feel any stress nothing you'll just forget, enjoy. And he said to him
Subhanallah after now that I may be denied the wine of Jana. i Sorry, I've now been denied. Possibly
a wife in Jana. You want to deny me now even the wine of Jana? And then what did that man say to him
the shaitan he said to him in Allah has a photo Rahim. Allah is Forgiving, Most Merciful. Allah
forgive you don't worry. And he had forgotten that Allah subhanho wa Taala is also Shahidullah. cob,
he is also severe and his punishment at the same time, my brothers and sisters, he has prepared for
the criminals of fire, that on a day of judgment, 70,000 ropes around it on every chain, there are
		

			70,000 Angels. If one of them let's go the fire will it everyone. It has a terrible role. He had
forgotten that Allah is also shady to low carb. I said to him, the person who was speaking, I said,
I pushed him off me and I said, leave me alone. Leave me alone. I've done too much damage. He said I
went out of the hotel yet. I don't know where I was going. I kept roaming the nights like a homeless
person crying, I can't eat sleeping in different corners, looking through garbage bags, like a
homeless person because I don't deserve to be in this world. I became lower than any person who has
shared I don't deserve any forgiveness from Allah. The Sheikh looks at him and he goes, I didn't
		

			know what to say to him.
		

			I said to him the best verse that I can think of in the Quran. I don't want the guy to hurt himself.
There's still hope Insha Allah, because I just recited Polya either the levena
		

			forcing him la
		

			mattina. In
		

			bed, Jeremy in
		

			Rashi, O Muhammad to my slaves, who have overburdened themselves with guilt and regret. Do not
despair from the mercy and forgiveness of Allah. Allah forgives all sins. He is the Most Forgiving,
the Most Merciful.
		

			The young man looked at the sheriff and he said yeah, che
		

			If that is true, Allah will forgive everyone but me. I don't deserve to be forgiven. I have che
surround me and I come from a Muslim land of Hashem, Amara, I'm married, I have children, I have
wealth. I know what's halal and haram and I fell into it. I don't deserve to be forgiven yourself.
This is not for me. Suddenly, the announcement for his flight was heard. And the sheriff said I had
to go, I took his contact. And I went to my plane. And it might in the back of my head, I thought,
you know, I've seen this before, maybe two weeks, three weeks, he'll forget about his problem and
move on in his life. He said, When I reached back to rehab, about a month later, I received a call
		

			from him. And he said, I'm gonna meet you at the masjid. And it was about Hajj season time that that
time. Instead, I went to the masjid and I met with him. And he had changed. He wasn't the same as
before. He wasn't crying. He wasn't in distress. But there was something dangerously scary about
him. I looked at his face, and he says if he was just empty, he said to me a che, I didn't call you
to say hello to you. I've called you to say goodbye. I said to Murray going. He said, I want to give
myself in to the Saudi government so that they can stoned me to death.
		

			And the sheriff says, I held on to him. I got nervous. I said, Are you crazy? You've got a wife,
you've got children. Allah spent that doesn't tell you, you have to go and do that. Repent to Allah.
There's many ways Allah is Allah forward, you have to kill yourself. It says, Oh, my wife and my
children will not save me from Allah's punishment, and I want to be saved from his punishment. Let
go of me ashamed. I just came to say, thank you for trying to help me just like Allah. Hi, Ron,
before I go into the hereafter, the sheikh says I didn't know what else to do. I held on to him, I
tried. And I tried and the man was about to just go. So finally I said to him, yeah, listen, let us
		

			go to one of the scholars that you and I respect here higher than all of us. And we will tell him
your story. And he first he says, he says to you give yourself in, I will take you myself, until
finally I came to an agreement with him. And then I said to him shake on it, because I was afraid he
might go in secret and SubhanAllah. So he then he shook on it. And he gave me his promise. He said,
we went to this great scholar, and the scholar said, law you sell him on epsa tell him he won't he
is not allowed to give himself in. And this particular scholar he says, What kind of a man have you
brought me a shave? I can't sleep. I've been awake nights after nights with him calling me and
		

			saying to me, oh che fear Allah in what you're saying to me for Allah He on the Day of Judgment. I
will say to Allah, I wanted to give myself in but this scholar he is the one who told me don't. And
the chef says Subhana Allah, I did not tell you anything except out of Aden. Until finally the young
Akhmad left the scholar alone. Suddenly he is the chef says I received this call and he wanted to
meet me back in the masjid. I went back to the masjid. And he said to me, I'm come to farewell you
again. I said Where to now? It says I want to go to hush. And this is the feeling of a repenter. I
said some kind of Let's go together. He said no, no, no, no, I'm okay. I thought maybe he went with
		

			a group of his own says we went to Hajj. And then when we reached the part when we're stoning, you
know, the Romans Ramadan for the devil. He said, I saw him from a distance and I said, Yeah, mad.
Yeah. He goes, as soon as he saw me, he ran away.
		

			I said Subhanallah changed his heart towards us. He said, Then I went back. And when I met him back
in Riyadh, I came to visit him. And I said, Yeah, what what changed your heart? And he said, Yes,
che why would you want me to mix with you? I am in pure. You are pure people. Why would you want me
to ruin your house? It says I was too busy making Mr. Farr leave me alone. Your che Subhanallah why
would you want me among you leave me alone. It said and sometimes I would look at all the images and
I would think Subhanallah look at all these images, how pure they are. I am the worst. Maybe Allah
will not forgive or accept anyone's harsh today because I'm among them. And sometimes I would think
		

			maybe Allah will forgive me because of all these pure souls around me. Subhanallah
		

			time passed, and this young man had memorized the entire Quran from front to back.
		

			Then he began to fast one day on one day off. Every day he is in the masjid five daily Salat.
Whenever you saw him, he was either praying or donating or reciting the Quran or making music or
attending to his family. He was never as happy as he ever was never himself, monitoring every step
and every second he takes before he meets Allah subhanho wa Taala years past. And in one day, I'll
just cut the story a little bit short insha Allah for times sake. He said one day
		

			we were visiting a scholar from Medina was visiting us and he was giving us a talk about a man have
a companion named Robbie Abdullah Hussein. Is that the story about an Obeah Abdullah Hussein in the
time of the Prophet Oh, it's just after him. The people of Kfar they wanted to ruin every young
person who has an influence. And this young man was an influence to young people in a good way. So
they said hey,
		

			How can we ruin him so that he is not influencing the young people towards Islam? And they said,
Let's send him a beautiful woman will pay her. And we came up to her to the most beautiful and
popular woman in this town. And we said to her, we will give you 100 dinars for Arabic. To give you
one case, just one case, we want to delude him. She said for 100 dinars, I'll get him to do more
than that. So she went and met with him as he was coming out of mothership solid. And as soon as she
saw him, and she displayed himself to him, he looked away and screamed in her face, saying, What
would you look like if you were in your grave for about an hour? All this beauty that you look at
		

			what would you look like and the next day, what would you say to Allah when you say, Oh Allah, You
created my beauty and I use that in Haram, and she was a Muslim. He goes share the story goes that
she she was so affected by what he said that she began to cry ran away and repented to Allah until
she was called, be the tool Kufa in Iraq. She was from Kufa. So they called her the worshiping woman
of gopher because of Arabic, Abdullah Hussein, as the Sheikh was telling the story. And the Sheikh
was telling us the story. He says, I was sitting there suddenly we heard a man get up and he
screamed, he ran out of the masjid crawling out.
		

			Hussein returns. And I go to her to commit Zina. We realized that it was Ahmed. He said, Had I known
that he was they would have told him not to talk this story. As time went past, I didn't see Ahmed.
And then he said, One day, I met a great scholar who was visiting us even greater than the other
one. And he was talking to us and I thought maybe I can ask this chef, this great scholar finally
once and for all to find me a solution for this young man. But he can't keep walking like this in
life with such despair. There's no Allah said. So the great scholar, he said to him, shave, there is
a simple verse in the Quran. You can go and say it to him. He said, which verse said Don't you
		

			remember in Surah Furqan. Allah says, When leadin Allah, Allah, He ILA, and those who do not call
upon Allah with partners that make partners Allah, what are you doing enough Salah Taha, Ramallah
and do not murder assault, that they have no right to murder it unjustly? What is known and though
did not commit adultery and fornication, or may Lika yell, Athena, whoever does any of these acts
will surely meet a terrible chastisement and wrath while you're looting your door after their
punishment will be multiplied wire Hello, defeat him Ohana and they'll be placed in hellfire
humiliated and belittled ill and Turb except he who repents and renews their face while I'm ILA I'm
		

			an unsightly and start to do good deeds to wipe off the bad deeds for hola que yo but did Allah who
say yes to him has an ad for these types of people Allah will exchange their past sins into good
deeds. What can Allah Hua for Rahima and your Lord is Ever so forgiving, Most Merciful? He said, I
couldn't wait to go to give him this verse is the best thing I've ever heard. Why couldn't I have
noticed that? He said I went to the masjid and I found Ahmed reclining on the steps of the member as
he always does every Muslim and it was after so it goes I entered and there was no one in the masjid
said I couldn't hold myself enter and open that and I said yeah.
		

			He looked at me and I couldn't hold myself I said what I tell to Allah eater till I began to sing
it. I began to recite it melodiously I said, or leadin La? La Isla
		

			while
		

			Epson Letty how Rama long been how well known. He goes when I reached the power he says, You'll
blah, blah blah dab the punishment when multiplied. He says I looked at him as if I had stabbed him
with a dagger. It goes I continued it
		

			or, no I may Allah
		

			for Allah can you bet did all along was saying to him hasn't worked in a long while for him.
		

			He says when I finished that
		

			jumped up. He ran to me began to hug me. He kissed me on my forehead. He began to cry. He began to
smile. And he says yeah che Wallah he I have memorized the entire Quran. And today, well Allah He it
is as if I'm reading it for the first time in my life. How could I have not seen this verse? Maybe
Allah subhanaw taala lifted for him to raise his level in Jannah Allahu Allah. That evening that
Maghrib the Imam of the masjid was away, and they put athma to pray Imam, he goes he recited the
difference. And then as he was about to recite a short Surah which sort of does he choose, or lady
in Allah their own Amma Allahu ALA and it says when he reached the PA 11 tab, except to you repents
		

			he get he burst into tears, he couldn't finish. So he went into court and Sue then he went up to the
second record, he recited in fact, and tried again or levena later on
		

			And, and when he reached 11 Turbo, he couldn't contain himself. He fell down to sujood. And he could
never finish the verse every time he got to it. He said, months passed, and it was Ramadan. And
suddenly, I received a call from his father, the father of Muhammad. He said, Please come quickly. I
went to visit him. And I knocked on his big door, his palace. And as soon as the father saw me, he
burst into tears and began to hug me. I didn't know what was wrong. He said, your brother, your dear
friend, Mohammed, he gives you his silence. And he went back to Allah last night. I sent him
Subhanallah I didn't know whether to cry for my friend or voice father, because I went in. And it
		

			was the Jeunesse, and they had brought the body to the family to fear Well, the body, it goes, I
went inside, and the cover sheet was on his face. I took the sheet of metal faces, dead body lay
there, and I saw her face, I saw a face that was glittering with shot of shining with light. I saw a
face that did not leave this world but had gone to Janay insha Allah and may die for him and kissed
him on his forehead, covered his face. And I sat with his father and said, Tell me what happened. He
said he had been going through some sickness, which he didn't tell you about. And it was Ramadan. He
said last night before Maghrib we were praying together. And I said to him, Son, come and make Iftar
		

			with us. I said that I feel like staying at the masjid a little bit longer today. I feel something
special. Please leave me for another few minutes. So I left him there. And after Iftar he didn't
arrive. So I sent his little brother to go and see him as about 10 years old, and the little brother
returned back crying. Yeah, but the Liberty medulla you can leave money. Dad, dad is not talking. I
went to the masjid and I found them reclining on the footsteps of the member, as he always does. He
was barely breathing. I rushed to him with the Quran in his hands. And I lifted his head onto my
shoulders. The father says, I looked and he was trying to say something to me. I came closer and
		

			closer because he couldn't make his voice out very well. As he was dying and he was dying. spalla
would call the ambulance as he was dying. He said, give my Salaams to the CHE give my Salaams to the
Sheikh and that's why I call Jia Sheikh to deliver the Amana. He goes and then suddenly, while he
was in my arms, his voice changed completely. And he came out as clear as the beautiful stars. He
said what ledvina Allah,
		

			Allah He
		

			called Allah
		

			knifes and Letty how to run a mall in learning healthy Wila is known our many fun funny guy.
		

			You will draw I follow hula boys woman
		

			while she
		

			ain't learning.
		

			Man No I mean
		

			for
		

			him has
		

			worked
		

			well for me, Rahim.
		

			He finished the entire area.
		

			And then his soul escaped from his body.
		

			I said to the young chef, what happened to my son when he went on his tourist visit?
		

			And the Sheikh said I had promised not to tell the full story or to say what he had done. He said to
him fucka Iman, and he lost his Eman for a little while. Or he said to him, he lost a friend. As the
prophets. Allah Salam said, when a man when you do a sin, the man is like a friend. It's it hovers
above you as you do the sin. And when your sin is over your Eman comes back, to make you feel the
way you feel so that you can repent and renew your life. My dear brothers and sisters in sha Allah,
that you benefit from this talk, that it is hope, no matter how much you have sinned, remember that
Allah is Allah for Rahim. Allah loves it. He loves it when somebody returns back to him. Even if you
		

			have sinned all your life, no matter what you think about yourself, remember, do not despair from
the forgiveness and mercy of Allah. Tonight my brothers and sisters tonight proto cause and say Oh
Allah, forgive me, and you will find your entire life changing. I thank you for listening and thank
you for having me here. My dear brother and sisters, I farewell to you tonight I returned back to
Australia. And I would like to thank the organizers, the volunteers, all your beautiful faces
Wallahi I felt a comfort and happiness this time around that I haven't felt before and possibly in
sha Allah. I can feel in sha Allah that it is your Eman met last My God forgive us all. Thank you.
		

			Well Sal, Allahu Allah Muhammad was salam ala