The hosts of The Bubba Lee discuss the importance of finding the right person for couples, including cultural differences and issues with health. They emphasize the need for privacy and confidentiality in marriage therapy and provide guidance on how to handle struggles. The speakers emphasize the importance of women receiving privacy and avoiding physical attraction in marriage therapy. They also discuss techniques for achieving intimacy and avoiding negative consequences of drug addiction. They invite listeners to visit their website for feedback and provide a video for their episode.
00:00:00 -->
00:00:39
Bobby Lee Show Episode Three Muslims *, Islam and intimacy. This podcast has been brought to you
by half our dean.com and Muslim marriage website designed for those who want to find that other half
privately because the only people that should know you're looking to get married or people who are
looking to get married. Try half our Deen. today. This episode of The Bubba Lee show is not suitable
for kids and is meant for an adult audience. In today's show, we have a marriage and family
therapist to discuss a very important topic Muslims *, Islam and intimacy. four words are probably
googled, quite often. This is something you'll never hear about in a mustard or editor summit
00:00:39 -->
00:00:52
conference. If you're about to get married, you need to listen to this episode. If you're already
married, you definitely need to listen to this episode because you need to know what's up. Make sure
your headphones are on because we're going to go live in 321.
00:00:55 -->
00:01:01
Muslims have confused the masses and speakers are forced to be politically correct.
00:01:05 -->
00:01:08
voice changed everything.
00:01:10 -->
00:01:14
Hey, man, why y'all serious? This is just a podcast.
00:01:27 -->
00:01:28
Show.
00:01:30 -->
00:01:55
Welcome to the Baba Ali Show. I'm your host, Bob Ali. If you come from a Muslim family, it's very
unlikely your parents ever told you where you came from? Dad? Where do they come from? The same
country I came from you were born back home. I mean, Where do babies come from? They come from the
hospital mother and father. He walked into the hospital and he woke up with baby. No, I mean, how
was that made? Oh.
00:01:57 -->
00:02:30
You see, human beings are made out of clay and water. When you were a kid, and you asked her dad,
Where do babies come from? He told you to go speak to your mom. And when you ask your mom, she told
you to go speak to your dad, you basically got to run around and you end up asking your friends at
school, which were as clueless as you were, which left you even more confused or worse. You asked
you Google and ended up on a site that scarred you for life. Eventually, you're going to get to the
age of where you're looking to get married, and you're gonna start thinking about the wedding night.
You want to learn about what is permissible in Islam when it comes to *, but you don't know who to
00:02:30 -->
00:03:06
ask. It's not going to hear about it anytime soon. So you end up in the Islamic bookstore looking
for the book. Yeah, you know, what book I'm talking about is that one book in the back of the store
that talks about intimacy, what's allowed what's not and what you need to know. And you're doing all
this because you actually care about doing things in the hallway. And there's nothing wrong with
that. But what happens when that book just doesn't exist in your local bookstore? Then you're stuck.
Believe it or not, some people have no idea how the whole * thing works until the night of the
wedding. In fact, many people who are married right now aren't happy in the bedroom because their
00:03:06 -->
00:03:39
spouse has no idea that the opposite gender is wired totally different than them. And that brings us
to today's guest to help us tackle this issue. He's a marriage and family therapist and has helped
countless couples overcome marriage issues. He has his master's degree in marriage and family
therapy and his bachelor's degree in psychology. He has experience working with couples to help
bring tranquility back to the marriage and provide premarital counseling. And that is so important
in today's time when the divorce rate is on the rise. He helps individuals, couples and families
suffering from depression, anxiety and other life struggles. I would like to welcome Osman Moni
00:03:39 -->
00:04:10
Welcome to the Bob Marley show As salam o aleikum. Wa Alaikum wa Rahmatullahi wa barakaatuh. So let
me start off by asking you a question. When a couple has marriage issues, they are debating if they
should go see their mom or if they go see a marriage therapist, the religious people will want to
see their mom and the non religious people want to go see a therapist. But that doesn't really make
sense. Because those two roles do two completely different things. Yes, yes, absolutely. I mean,
that's a that's an excellent point. The first thing we have to realize is that moms are not trained
to handle not just marriage therapy, but different even psychological issues, depression, anxiety,
00:04:10 -->
00:04:46
things like this. I think we as a community have began to view our imams as these people which were
just multiple hats are supposed to be able to solve every problem in the world. But that's not the
case and the Imams primary role is is to really just lead the community spiritually teach courses,
bring them closer to the Quran and the Sunnah, the irony of that statement that irreligious people
go to therapist is that the reason I came into therapy was because of you moms, in fact, majority of
referrals that we get are from moms, which are seeing that they're constantly inundated with all of
these requests for marriage therapy, and you know, trouble with their children and depression and
00:04:46 -->
00:04:59
anxiety and drug addiction where they're saying that, you know, this is not my job. I don't know how
to deal with this. You need to go to a professional. Interesting, because I've actually heard that
about 90% of the issues that come to moms are marriage and family related. Have you heard the same?
Yes. Yes. Actually, the
00:05:00 -->
00:05:33
reason that I came into this field was because an Imam and a scholar, which I greatly look up to,
and a dear friend of mine, Chef, Sufi Han from College Park, Maryland, he sat with me in 2008. And
we were discussing, you know, some of the needs of the community. And he said that, you know, a
small 90 plus percent of my time is actually dedicated to counseling couples, counseling families,
counseling individuals, l and things, which I'm actually really not trained in. And I want to be
able to free up my time to actually teach the community to guide the community and do things which
I'm actually trained on. And so he really encouraged me, he said that there is a lack of Muslim
00:05:33 -->
00:06:09
professionals which are able to tackle these issues. So that's really what inspired me to go into
this field was to actually relieve the burden from the moms. Wow. So tell me a little bit more about
your organization and how you guys are set up differently than other organizations. Our objective is
to really provide a counseling service to individuals, couples and Muslim families struggling with a
you know, a variety of different issues, be it anxiety, depression, addiction, and everything in
between. But we also want to form a healthy merger between Islam and therapy. And we also have a
scholar on staff shift, jazzy Mackenzie, who is a graduate of gentle Medina. And he also holds
00:06:09 -->
00:06:44
master's degree from Vanderbilt Marshall and quite a few years of experience in Dawa, so we like to
merge the two. So you know, there are 50 issues which come up. But even with 50 issues, you have to
know the background, you have to understand the psychology. So we try and address these issues in a
very comprehensive manner. And not just a one size fits all fatwa. So if I remember correctly, you
actually study Sharia as well. Is that correct? Yes, yes, yes, I just started formally under a few
different scholars as well. But my role is not to give full power. And this is why we have our full
time scholar on staff specifically for these issues. So we do get cases of divorce and things like
00:06:44 -->
00:07:18
this, where they need specific rulings. So we do have our scholarship jazzy McKenzie, to help out
with this, my contribution is the therapy aspect to handle the issues from a very personal
standpoint for the couples. So you know, helping them with what they're struggling with helping to
improve communication, helping to maybe overcome some past traumas, which are affecting the
relationship helping them to understand each other better. And, you know, a lot of times I'll be
like, people don't understand or realize what type of training you know, goes into becoming a
marriage and family therapist, it actually takes about nine years to become, that's not even your
00:07:18 -->
00:07:49
doctorate, because I've had people actually ask me, do you have to go to school for this? And it's
like, No, dude, I just, you know, randomly just opened up shop and tried to help you. So So yeah, I
mean, there's, you know, there's a specific licensing process. One thing people might be concerned
about is a confidentiality or how private these sessions are, can you touch upon that a little bit,
when people go to a mom's? You know, obviously, there is this level of trust that, you know, if I
share something very personal, it won't be shared with the rest of the community, with therapists,
we take it a step further, because we're legally bound by this. What I mean by that is part of our
00:07:49 -->
00:08:24
medical license, like I will lose my license if I ever disclose anything about any client. So I
mean, we take it extremely serious. So when we say that whatever is stated in the therapy room will
remain in therapy room, we mean it, you know, this whole topic, people are kind of like hesitant to
even listen to, because they don't know what Islam says about it did like because the word * is
often used in a way that's very taboo. It's almost like saying a bad word, but it's not. In fact,
Islam is very explicit about this and discuss this. Can you touch upon that a little bit? Yes,
absolutely. Absolutely. And I think this is where the problem comes in, is that people don't realize
00:08:24 -->
00:08:56
how explicit Islam is about some of these issues. I mean, the Prophet sallallahu alayhi salam, he
came to guide us on all aspects of our life. And that includes what goes on in the bedroom. So there
are explicit Hadith about, you know, kissing your wife about foreplay, about what type of
* is and isn't allowed. And so these were things which the companions of the Prophet SAW
Islam were exposed to and knew about when they were going into marriage, you know, so it wasn't,
they weren't left clueless. Fortunately, nowadays, you know, we think that it's some type of great
sin to talk about this. I mean, whether we talk about it or not, these issues Don't go away, we have
00:08:56 -->
00:09:26
to come to terms with some of the social realities we are facing. And I think later on, we'll talk
about like * addiction, you know, * addiction, things like this, these are realities
that our Muslim communities are exposed to, we can't just assume that we're immune to some of these
vices, what happens is that you have two people, which, you know, never really thought about it.
They never spoke to their parents about it might have consulted with Google, about intimacy, and so
on. Then you have these two people, which, you know, bam, they're spending the first night together
and they're clueless as to what to do what not to do completely different expectations. And that's
00:09:26 -->
00:09:55
when the problems start to arise. I mean, I've had many couples come to me and say, from day one,
from the wedding night, we had intimacy issues, and then it just snowballed into something bigger
from there. So what's the biggest problem when it comes to intimacy for couples? I mean, tell me
about what's the biggest problem from the female side. And what's the biggest problem from the male
side? Firstly, interestingly enough, it's the women complaining about you know, physical intimacy
about their husbands not touching them. Wow. You would think you think it's the other way. I think
it'd be the opposite way use Yeah, exactly. Think the male's would be the one complaining that they
00:09:55 -->
00:10:00
want more intimacy, but it seems to be the exact opposite. So please continue. Women complain about
00:10:00 -->
00:10:29
Lack of intimacy in and out of the bedroom, you know. So this is one of the points to mention. I
mean, although we're talking specifically about what goes on inside the bedroom, I mean, there is a
level of intimacy which should occur outside of the bedroom. And we have numerous narrations of the
Prophet sly slub, kissing his wives as he enters the house, as he leaves the house, you hug your
wife hold her hand, you know, do these type of things so that you know when when what goes on in the
bedroom seems more natural. So you're not going from zero to 100. You know, if you don't kiss your
wife outside of this, you're not going to all of a sudden just get in the mood. So this is something
00:10:29 -->
00:11:01
really important is that there is intimacy all throughout the marriage in and out of the bedroom.
This is what helps actually women when it comes to intimacy. And one thing that we do have to
realize is that there is a huge difference between men and women when it comes to intimacy. And the
more we understand that difference, the better we are at solving these problems. I mean, alausa
Jelena put on he says, Lisa, duck, Gurukul, author, you know, in all senses, that the woman is not
like a man. And the man is not like the woman when it comes to intimacy, men are aroused much
easier. So the man is like a microwave, and a woman is like an oven. It's an excellent analogy.
00:11:01 -->
00:11:29
Absolutely. And so man, I mean, sometimes all it takes is just some type of visual stimuli, they see
something attractive, and all of a sudden, they're in the mode, whereas women, it might take a lot
more I did you know, there's an emotional connection there. So we're talking about words of
affection, we're talking about, you know, starting off with just maybe a little bit of foreplay. And
this is also like I mentioned something explicit in Islam, about the importance of foreplay, so that
it's enjoyable for the woman as well. So let me ask you a question. We know one of the big topics we
have, and maybe I can cover this in a future episode, and that is regarding * and the
00:11:29 -->
00:12:05
effect, it has an intimacy, can you tell us a little bit more about that? Absolutely. Absolutely. I
cannot actually even stress how much this issue comes up. I mean, it is so prevalent, I would go as
far as to say it maybe like 80 to 90% of the couples that I do counseling with there is some issue
of *. And the reality is, I mean, we are exposed to it on a daily basis. I mean, it's in
front of our face, you know, billboards, and then you have everything on the phones. I mean, it is a
great time of fitness that we're living in. And there are young brothers, which and it just happens
with the sisters as well, which will view you know, a certain amount of * before the
00:12:05 -->
00:12:37
marriage. And this really affects intimacy later on in marriage. Can you tell us a little bit more
about that? How does it affect it? Absolutely. Absolutely. So first of all, I mean, just the
expectation, when it comes to sexual *, we have to realize, I mean, this is something
which it's just a pleat facade, right. So the idea of beauty, the idea of, you know, how women get
aroused how men get around. So it's completely false in *. So men, sometimes when they
view this, I mean, they have this idea that the woman should look like this, you know, and this is
exactly how * is done, you know, and so it's just from appreciating their wife preceding that
00:12:37 -->
00:13:11
physical beauty that becomes distorted the whole idea of even * and how it's done and how looting
foreplay. So when somebody engages in *, what they tend to do is really fail fast forward
to the scenes where they want to see and they will, you know, any I do apologize for being explicit.
But like I said, we do have to be very open about this topic in order to really address it. I mean,
they'll masturbate to the part where they want to see, you know, so they're in full control, it's
very selfish. And so they will actually * at a, you know, very early stage. And this leads
to some kind of developing premature * so that when it comes to real *, they're not able
00:13:11 -->
00:13:46
to satisfy their wives. Wow, I never knew this *, she was that common within couples? It
almost sounds like an addiction. Yeah, absolutely, absolutely. But before that, I just want to just
you know, specifically for the sisters, I do want to mention this point, because I've seen how
prevalent * addiction is, I do want to say that, you know, there is, you know, an element
of almost addiction. And, you know, I really encourage couples to try and work together to move
forward from it, rather than pointing fingers rather than shaming because at the end of the day,
that doesn't really accomplish anything. I mean, there is a way to move forward from it I've handled
00:13:46 -->
00:14:23
I had the opportunity to help a lot of people struggling with this addiction before and after
marriage and you can overcome it, but really it takes support from both spouses and of course you
know there is going to be you know the anger there is going to be hurt feelings you know, the woman
will feel like well was I not good enough and so on. just just just realize that you know, the goal
is to improve the marriage so blaming pointing fingers shaming is not going to get us very far. This
is not a an immediate reason to you know, separated or divorced from your husband as hurtful as it
is. So you know, this topic itself intimacy, *, Muslims, Islam, we've been very fortunate to cover
00:14:23 -->
00:14:59
a bunch of it, but eventually there's gonna come to a point that these people are going to get
married and the wedding night will come up. Do you have any tips to help the males or to help the
females in this aspect? Absolutely. Absolutely. Okay, so the first thing is that we really need to
learn to be open and honest with our spouses. I mean realize that the relationship between the
husband and wife is a relationship unlike any other i mean is you know, Subhan Allah when Allah says
woman it on Hanukkah comin unfussy come as wotja it escuela La la la la Vina como de tomorrow in
nephew Delica I Attila komiya de facto
00:15:00 -->
00:15:36
room that when God speaks about in this ensuite room, he speaks about marriage and he speaks about
from his science is that he created from you spouses, the descuento la had that you may, you may
live with them, you may reside with them. And he has placed mercy and love between them. This is
this is something truly to ponder over realize that this is something very, very special, this is a
special relationship unlike any other. And you know, part of this being special is that you should
learn to be comfortable discussing whatever with your wife, I mean, that's the one person, your wife
or your husband, that's the one person which you could share anything with, including intimacy,
00:15:37 -->
00:16:11
including issues of, you know, what one's likes, are and dislikes. So the first thing I would say is
open communication, even from day one, talk to your wife about what you find attractive. Wives, talk
to your husbands about what you find attractive, what you like, what you don't like, and it's a
learning experience, you know, honestly, this is your wife is allowed for you and your husband is
held on for you. So have fun with it. You know, yeah, me that have fun with it. One of the you know,
one of one of the purposes of marriage in our religion is to protect us from Xena and and and you
know, in fact, a lot of people don't know this, but you actually get reward for having * in Islam.
00:16:11 -->
00:16:43
Yes, you know, you'll get reward for having * with your spouse. I mean, how beautiful religion is
that? And because if you think about it, you know, you get sin for doing it in an illicit manner.
Yes. So you get reward for doing it in Holloman. Yes, of course. So you're enjoying yourself, you're
getting reward. So you know, this is something you need to be open about with your wife, if the wife
doesn't like a certain thing, you know, be open and say, you know, this didn't really make me
aroused. As much as if you do this. And the husband, same thing. You know, this actually is what
makes me more aroused, husbands might like wives to dress up a certain way, no wives, same thing,
00:16:43 -->
00:17:15
you know. So another tip along with just you know, being very open and honest with each other
without shaming each other. But just saying that, look, you know, we're both in this together, we're
both going to try and enjoy this. So let's be open is even the idea of so I'll address the sisters
first. And then the brothers sisters, once you get married, I mean, during the wedding night,
everything you dress up for your husband, you you know, you look your best slowly as the months and
years go by, for some reason, I think I've seen this a lot where the women, they, they forget this
and they become more interested in getting ready to go out to like different sisters gatherings. And
00:17:15 -->
00:17:45
when it comes to their appearance at home, it's just like, okay, I can still wear the same you know,
I don't mean any offense, but at the same raggedy jilbab for like a week, you know, and it's all
good, because now He's my husband, but realize that your husband, he's going out to work every day.
And he's seeing the secretary, he's seeing the billboards, he's exposed to this constantly, you
know, and so, I mean, it's not the most appealing thing when he comes home, and he sees you and I
understand, I mean, he's taking care of the kids this and that. But, you know, it's not the most
appealing thing when he sees you and just like, you know, really making no effort to, to dress up
00:17:45 -->
00:18:15
and so on, you know, this is something which should be, you know, should should be done once in a
while, but the same goes for men as well, right? I mean, you know, you you, you start off, like, you
know, doing all different types of diets and everything getting ready for the wedding or getting all
rip, and then you know, a few months to a year down the line evolved a huge Valley. And the whole
idea of staying in shape just goes out the window. The profits lesson taught us that the woman, you
know, like with the men like I mean, the physical attraction is important to women as well. Yeah, I
think sometimes people ignore that, especially men, because they think, okay, the woman is not built
00:18:15 -->
00:18:49
this way. So I'm going to tell her to stay in shape. But for me, exactly, exact guys, I mean, you
know, stay in shape for your woman, you know, work out, do some cardio and, and I mean, again,
without, you know, trying to be too vulgar. I mean, even the act of * itself, it burns a lot of
calories. So it's, you know, it does require some stamina, you part of intimacy, and part of the
inappropriate intimacy is, is making sure that your wife is satisfied as well. I mean, if you are,
you know, morbidly obese and just not taking care of yourself, you're gonna you're gonna tire out
within a minute. So, I mean, this is also important in the marriage, just as wives are to, you know,
00:18:49 -->
00:19:19
take care of themselves in their appearance and beautify themselves for their husbands. First and
foremost, husbands need to do the same thing. You know, you're not trying to stay in shape, just to
you know, go walk on the beach and show off your muscles, but you're trying to stay in shape for
your family. Yeah, that makes a lot of sense. And that's a lot of good tips for the female side. For
the male side. What tips do you have for the brothers that are listening? Okay, absolutely. Yeah. So
So now, this is where we get a little bit explicit. So I'm going to talk about just a few points,
right. So we spoke about the consequences of *, sometimes it could lead to premature
00:19:19 -->
00:19:52
* it could lead to just like, you know, not knowing how to arouse the woman and vice
versa. So there's a few things we have to keep in mind right? So we want to be open and honest about
you know, everything which goes on in with the in the bedroom with our spouses, there is a condition
which is known as erectile dysfunction. Okay, Ed, you know, very common now i'm sure for guys, I
mean, this is something they can comfortably talk to their primary care physician about as well. One
thing I want to address is erectile dysfunction. How do you know if it's psychological or medical?
Okay? If it's medical to something that you know, can be treated with medications, possibly surgery,
00:19:52 -->
00:20:00
this is something you talk to your doctor about. Sometimes it's psychological, and this is the
effect of *, right? So if you're constantly watching that, and that's the only thing you
can
00:20:00 -->
00:20:32
get aroused, use your wife and you're not aroused. It might be such a psychologic. First of all, how
do you know the difference, because we want to figure out if it's medical, or if it's psychological.
So interestingly enough males and any healthy male will have a few erections while they're sleeping
at night. So this is common, where while they're sleeping, irrespective of the dreams, they have
whatever, they will have interaction. So there are devices on the market, very simple devices, which
you put over the private or you put over the penis, and you wear it before you go to bed. what it's
supposed to do is, it's a seal, which goes around the penis, and when the seal breaks, that means
00:20:32 -->
00:21:01
that you had an erection at night, okay, so when you wake up in the morning, you check the seal, and
you see that, okay, it's broken, that means that I am physically able to get an erection, but
there's something psychological, which is not allowing me to get an erection with my wife during
*. So it's not a medical issue. It's a psychological issue. So that device for the people
who are listening, that's going to help them determine if it's a psychological or medical issue, is
that correct? Yes, exactly. Because you want to rule out exactly what the problem is. So if it's if
it's medical, there are options that you can speak to your physician about, if it's psychological,
00:21:01 -->
00:21:37
this is what this is more of the area where therapy will help. Okay. Okay. And so, you know, once
you've determined that there are a few techniques, so one thing is, especially if you know, the
woman is not able to achieve *, or the man is just having difficulty. One thing that I do
recommend for couples, this is a * therapy technique is something which we call fasting, fasting
from *. So the rules are this, that the couple will agree that for two weeks, every time they're
in the bedroom, they're only going to limit their intimacy to kissing, and touching, no taking off
of clothes, no penetration. And they're going to try this every night. And so what's actually going
00:21:37 -->
00:22:10
to happen is that the urge is going to build up so they're kissing, they're massaging each other,
they are not seeing each other naked, and they're not actually engaging in the *. So come the end
of two weeks, they are fully ready for *, and it'll become a very natural transition without that
anxiety without that, that stress from the wife or the husband. So this is this is one technique
that we do coorporate in therapy for couples, which are which are which are just struggling overall
with *. Another thing I had mentioned was the idea of premature *. So like we said that,
you know, males, which are viewing a lot of *, they get used to getting themselves
00:22:10 -->
00:22:39
aroused, and then you know, * in matter of few minutes, right? Which, when it comes to
pleasing the wife, that's to me, that's going to leave women very, very upset. And a lot of sisters
have complained to me this about the idea that they're not satisfied, you know, when it comes to
intimacy. So there is a specific technique for this, and there's a few, but I'll just, I'll just
share one. And again, we're getting very explicit here. But you know, there shouldn't be any shyness
about this. And I think the benefits of talking about this definitely definitely outweigh the harm.
So this is something which both the husband and wife can work together on. If if the husband wants
00:22:39 -->
00:23:13
to basically increase his stamina and stop the premature *. And we've like, again, we've
ruled out that this is not a medical problem. Oh, one technique to do is that as the man is
climaxing, and he feels that he's about to *, either his wife or himself, what he'll do is
he'll squeeze the tip of the penis with his forefinger and his thumb, and just hold it and take a
few deep breaths in and out, take a few deep breaths in and out, and so that he restricts himself
from *, he'll wait a few seconds to maybe a minute or so, and then go back to intimacy
with his wife. And then just as he's about to reach the point of *, he'll do that again,
00:23:13 -->
00:23:44
he'll take his forefinger and his thumb and they'll squeeze the tip of his penis and take a few deep
breaths in and out and wait for the erection to to go down just a little bit. And so what this does
is it helps to increase the stamina and control the *. And this gets the male to a point
where he's able to satisfy the woman and then *. And this is, I think, gonna help a lot of
couples out there, including those who are already married. Absolutely. Yeah. So people out there
who are single looking to get married, and people who are already married, I think this is gonna be
very useful things for them to know. And again, this is not something you're ever going to hear in
00:23:44 -->
00:24:18
football, but it's information as Muslims, we should know and learn because at the very end, we are
trying to make our spouse happy. And it's good for us to learn everything within a song. Absolutely,
absolutely. I mean, think about the bigger picture, we're living in a society which is just filled
with, you know, things to lead us astray. Like, you know, I'd mentioned like every commercial that
you see, there's, you know, attractive man or attractive woman leading us, you know, to Xena
marriage is the institution which protects us, it's the shelter, it's the shelter and protection
from this fitness. And so if we're to truly be protected, we need to be fulfilling that need both
00:24:18 -->
00:24:48
for men and women within the boundaries of the marriage. This is why it's such an important topic,
what happens when there's actual problems in the bedroom? And how bad does the situation get in
actual marriage? I mean, how, how does it affect the marriage? You know, couples might be getting
along in other areas of their life. But I mean, I've seen so many cases of you know, both men and
women sitting I mean, it's been months, you know, before it was since they actually had intimacy.
And of course, this you know, this tension is built up and it affects the way that they look at each
other the way that they communicate with each other. And there's just this frustration and I've had
00:24:48 -->
00:24:59
so many brothers and sisters saying that we feel like we're roommates and not husband and wife
anymore. I mean, the intimacy has just gone and you know, I would really, really recommend that
people try and tackle this issue. Talk to her
00:25:00 -->
00:25:33
Professional sooner than later because the longer you wait the more the frustration the anger you
know the low self esteem the depression all of this builds up these are all consequences of just
that lack of intimacy. Oh, you know a lot of sisters have told me that I just I don't feel beautiful
anymore I don't feel that you know, like a woman and you know and then and then same with the man I
mean just you know, just just extremely just frustrated like what do I do you know, this tension
built up and she's busy with the kids nothing there's there's nothing left with just me and my wife.
So the consequences are very severe, I mean, affects you like emotionally psychologically,
00:25:33 -->
00:26:04
physically, just the level of stress which is built up just on this issue alone I mean, it affects
your day to day life. That's a lot of very, very valuable information and I'm sure people have a lot
more questions that probably they're going through personally themselves how can someone contact you
if they want to discuss these issues with you if they would like to have a session with you? Can you
give us some information of how we can contact you? Yes, absolutely. There's there's a few ways to
contact us for that let me just if only if I can just briefly speak a little bit more about our
organization we don't just do marriage therapy but we help with a you know a multitude of issues
00:26:04 -->
00:26:37
with our communities are facing drug addiction * addiction anxiety, depression, grief
parenting issues so we actually have that we have a child specialist on staff who's fluent and
audibly Sister nagamma stuffer phenomenal phenomenal therapist she works with younger children shift
jazzy Mackenzie he helps with the you know, issues of spirituality there's, you know, any Islamic
verdicts which need to be given and you know, and myself I work a lot with adults and you know,
maybe teens struggling with depression with with a multitude of issues that we we like to try and
sweep under the rug, but our communities at the end of the day, we are not immune to these issues.
00:26:38 -->
00:27:18
So how to contact us you can go to our website, www dot peaceful you that's why all your peaceful y
o u.org. And you can contact us through our website and actually even cooler than that, you can
actually schedule yourself for a Skype session right then and there can see our open time slots and
just schedule yourself for a Skype session anywhere you are in the world. We have clients from all
over the world at that point. You can also like our Patreon, Facebook, our Facebook pages peaceful
you counseling and therapy services. You can follow us on twitter peaceful you Inc peaceful UI NC
and the easiest way to contact me is through email. It's Osman u s. m a n like us man at peaceful
00:27:18 -->
00:28:00
ui.org that's us ma n at peaceful u.org I want to remind people that anything we just said either
through communication through our website through email, or if you want to call us our number,
excuse me is 972-413-8393. Again, that's 972-413-8393 is going to be absolutely confidential so rest
assured that myself or one of the other therapists will be the only people looking at this
information and we will do everything to keep your confidentiality and your privacy maintained. So
please do not hesitate contact us sooner than later. inshallah With that said, I would like to say
Jazakallah fer for coming onto the show. I know it's not easy talking about this topic, but it is
00:28:00 -->
00:28:22
needed and thank you so much for providing all the information for my listeners. Well yeah, it was
my pleasure. And please go to Bali show calm leave your comment. We will love to hear what you think
about this episode, I will try to respond to your comments as shown in future episodes. And if you
liked this series, make sure to subscribe to it on iTunes and recommend it to friends to a salam o
Alaikum.