Alpha-Him Jobe – Family in Islam 8
AI: Summary ©
AI: Transcript ©
This hadith addressing the young people, not the
old people. 70 years old.
He's talking about
people
25,
20 years,
and, 30 years, 45.
That area. Prophet
said, oh, you young men,
if you're able to get married, please marry.
They asked why he answered Allah. He said,
because that
will help you to lower your gaze.
Alright.
Marriage is helping us
to lower the gaze.
Because if you are out of marriage, you
are uphill looking for all the holisms
because you are at the top looking who's
there, who's passing.
Professor Nasrallah said, okay. Go downhill and choose
1 and lower your case. That will help
you.
Because raising the case will give you, like,
different choices.
You're gonna make, like,
back and forth. Today this, today that, today
this. No. Just married. Get married, and then
settle. If not, you're gonna be in a
terrible
terrible situation.
And the
prophet said, that marriage is my way of
life. And if anyone of you move away
from marital system, he is not part of
me.
What about that, my brothers?
We have to make the intention of getting
married, not just to remain bachelor forever.
They're like bachelor for 50 years, bachelor 1.
50 years, 53 years, 60 years. No. That's
not work.
We need to form the families because the
shaitanya system is struggling to destroy family
by homosexuality,
gays, and all these kind of things, it's
just to destroy the family.
Husband and wife must observe the cardinal purpose
of their union.
There's a cardinal purpose of the union, which
is.
See it as.
There are a lot of enjoyment in marriage,
but it's
in the first place.
They must learn how to help each other.
You have to learn that because it's not
easy
to come to the marriage and understand the
person from the very beginning. That is not
easy. This is impossible.
Because somebody raised her and somebody raised you.
You have different attitudes.
Now for you to come together you have
to learn how to help each other.
Yes, you have to learn that. You have
to learn how to tolerate each other. Without
tolerance,
no marriage.
You have to learn how to love Allah
in yourself.
How to love Allah in you.
Yes.
You have to learn how to love Allah
in your children.
You have to learn how to
overcome
your difficulties.
When difficulties happen in the marriage, they have
to establish Mashuran.
Discuss and open dialogue, said what you're going
to do about this?
But not just come with your ego starting
saying I'm the man.
No.
Your masculinity cannot work in that that particular
sense.
You are masculine.
Big. Alright?
But she is feminine.
Feminine is softness and masculine is a strong
thing. So you have to balance it,
then talk and try to understand each other.
Manage
is righteousness,
kindness,
consideration,
good manners,
generosity.
If you get married, you have to give
money. You have to be generous.
Sisters, they're gonna ask you whatever you have
in your pocket. You have to give
her. You have that in mind. Don't just
come to the man and say, I love
her ma. Yeah, ma, give me the joy.
I gonna buy this sister. Ma, give me
$30,000. I go to ma. Help me ma.
Okay. Ma gonna help you to ma. But
as soon as you bring Fatima in the
house,
ma is not there to help you. Fatima
gonna get up early morning. The first thing
he said, how you got? I have $50.
Give me all $50.
Fatima gonna tell you that.
It's not 50.50.
$50 give me all the money.
Okay. You give the money. You wanna sit
down? Sit down for what?
Get out and go to work.
They said, okay.
Then you go to work,
you come home.
You think that they she gonna, you know,
cook the whole chicken for you? No. The
chicken is 5050.
And you are there
to bring the money
every day, whatever in your pocket is going
home. The next day you are empty.
They said, like, you like a bird.
You come
home, the stomach is full,
the next day empty stomach and go back
and try to get the wheat sand, whatever
you can pick. I bring it home.
So this is the situation, it's generosity.
Marriage
is generosity.
Marriage is generosity, yes.
Marriage is hospitality.
Even you are giving but don't count.
Don't count how much you give Fatima. Because
sometimes people they love, you know, writing things
behind the wall
or behind the closet.
Have their secret paper.
Okay. I give him $50. $50. 11, 15,
$50.
11, 25, $50.
11.26.50.
Then at the end of the morning, let
me tell her how much she got. This
is too much.
You gonna be greedy, you gonna cut your
hand, you gonna you you gonna be out
of *.
Don't count how much you are giving everyday.
Don't ever do that. If you do that,
you're gonna be very stingy.
You're gonna keep everything.
That's why it's hospitality.
You give, but don't count it. Yes. Marriage
is hospitality.
It's dignity with respect.
Don't allow yourself to jump on your head
too.
No. You have to address the issues properly.
If something happened in the house, you have
to table it. Let's table this and finish
it. I am not holding anything, but I
have to table it. It's dignity.
We have to respect the family. It's not
me, it's not you, but the entire home.
We have to respect everybody.
Marriage is honor.
You have to honor the person. Marriage is
self respect.
Yes. Don't ever think that when you get
married you can dress as, you know, as
you want.
No.
Oh, you know, I have body pants, you
know, I do what the your wife don't
want that.
What?
It's me to it's just me to make
my body pants and, you know, limping?
No. You're mad you you want me your
your your wife said you have to walk
straight.
You have to walk straight. You have to
have a proper dress now. No bachelors who
are
here. Bachelors who is over. Because when you
are a bachelor, you don't care.
You even spend the night outside living with
your your birthday.
You're okay.
She don't want that. She don't want you
to go to the you know, to the
to the to the,
Islamic conference look like that.
No. She want you to dress
good,
Then she will she will feel happy.
But not just see daddy, you know, dressed
away.
Just, you know, the children, they will ask,
daddy, what's wrong?
Nothing wrong with daddy. Daddy just want to
dress the way daddy want to dress.
No
self respect.
Modesty. There's if there's no modesty, there's no
marriage. There's no family without modesty.
Chastity.
There's no marriage without chastity.
Yes.
Courage.
Don't give up. You have to help
and give courage to your wife.
Then patient. Oh, there's no marriage without patient.
Yes.
Marriage is an important social institution
which perfects the human personality.
If you want to perfect human personality,
get into the marriage.
Prophet
said if you are out of marriage, you
are half person.
Then marriage is perfect
the human personality.
For the individual,
as well as the society.
Yes. Human society. He said marriage
secures happiness with prosperity
for the individual as well as the society.
Like if you get married, now you take
responsibility.
If something happened to the area, you have
to be responsible.
You see, bachelors
it's difficult for bachelors to stand to check
what's happening in the neighborhood. If somebody attack
the neighborhood, fathers and mothers stand because of
children. But bachelors,
they said, oh what's up there? And they
take their car and go.
Because they don't care. But you see the
mothers and the fathers, they're standing saying, let's
call police. Why this? Because they have babies.
That's why bachelors have to be careful. But
let's not take care of nothing.
As soon as the problem is there, oh,
let's get out here and go before the
Dolby or some Connecticut somewhere.
They don't care.
No. We have to be careful.
The unity of humanity
is not only in the in its origin.
Be careful about that. It's not just being
humans is enough.
But also,
in its ultimate aims and objectives,
The final goal of humanity is Allah.
From him we came,
and him and for him we live life.
We came from Allah, and just for him
we live life.
And to
him, we shall all of us
return one day.
In fact, the purpose of creation,
as described by