Ali Albarghouthi – The Disease and the Cure #45 Dont Let Zina Trap You
AI: Summary ©
The speakers emphasize the importance of protecting body and relationships, as well as finding ways to soften one's heart and avoid complications. They stress the need for men to take care of their children and increase their pay, as it would lead to a societal collapse. They also emphasize the importance of reading books and educating children about the Prophet's teachings, maintaining respect between members of a family, and reading about the importance of a neutral conversation to maintain a free and prosperous environment.
AI: Summary ©
In the name of Allah and praise be
to Allah.
Peace and blessings be upon the Messenger of
Allah and his family and companions.
O Allah, teach us what benefits us and
benefit us with what You have taught us.
And increase us in knowledge, O Lord of
the worlds.
O Allah, help us to remember You, be
grateful to You, and worship You well.
What's next?
So, Ibn Qayyim continues with the presentation of
the major sins, explaining why they are major
and why they are very problematic and disastrous.
So, as we said, he's presenting the whole
picture, so the person understands the full effect,
the negative effect of these sins.
Because if a person looks from their own
vantage point, meaning only from my own desire,
my own benefit, my own harm, they may
not see something as major, especially immediately.
But if they look at it holistically, meaning
how it doesn't just affect him but affects
everybody, and it's not just about the now,
the here and now, but the future as
well, then you'll understand the full gravity of
that sin.
So, here he's going to be talking about
al-zina.
So, we finished talking about killing people.
And we understood why that is a problem.
He wants here to talk about al-zina.
And he, again, presenting the whole picture.
وَلَمَّ كَانَتْ مَفْسَدَةُ الْزِنَ مِنْ أَعْظَمٍ مَفَاسِبٍ He
says, because the harm of zina is among
the greatest of harms.
وَهِيَ مُغْنَافِيَةٌ لِمَصْلَحَةِ نِظَامِ الْعَالَمِ And it runs
contradictory to the purpose of preserving the order
of this universe, the order of the world
that we live in.
So, Allah Azawajal wanted this world to exist
in order, not in chaos, not where anybody
can do whatever they want, or attack whomever
they want.
Allah Azawajal wanted a specific order and harmony
to the people.
And that's why Allah Azawajal revealed His shari
'ah.
And that's why Allah prohibited what He had
prohibited.
So, there is this maslaha, there is this
benefit of harmonious living, where there is love
between people and understanding and cooperation.
Because if you don't have it, people will
start what?
Killing each other and stealing from each other
and oppressing each other.
So, He says that's not what Allah Azawajal
wants from His shari'ah and from His
creation.
He created for a harmony and He revealed
His shari'ah for harmony.
So, He says zina runs opposite to that.
Which is, what does it do?
What does Allah want it to do?
And then zina does the opposite.
He said, حفظ الأنساب Protecting lineages وحماية الفروج
Safeguarding the private parts وصيانة الحرمات And protecting
what is sanctified, what is invaluable, what should
be protected here in terms of honor.
So, the hurma here, the hurma of your
family, the honor of your family, meaning you
have a spouse, you have a child, you
have a sister, you have a mother and
they deserve respect.
So, they are not violated.
They are not attacked.
They are not preyed on.
So, there is this hurma.
So, people know that they should not be
touched and also you shouldn't touch what is
sacred in other families.
وتوطي ما يوقع أعظم العداوة والبغضاء بين الناس
And also avoiding what will lead to the
greatest enmity and hatred among people.
من إفساد كل منهم امرأة صاحبه وابنته وأخته
وأمه He says, avoiding harm, avoiding what leads
to the greatest enmity.
Which is what?
Corrupting the spouse of so-and-so, the
sister of so-and-so, the daughter of
so-and-so, the mother of so-and
-so by sleeping with her.
So, that's a violation.
So, he says, when you do this to
someone's spouse, how would they feel?
They want to kill you, right?
And so, that leads to the greatest harm.
You feel that injury.
You feel that violation.
So, it will create hatred among people.
قَالَ وَفِي ذَٰلِكَ خَرَابُ الْعَالَمِ He says, and
because of this, that will lead to the
ruin of this world.
And because of all of these ills, he
says, this was the right, the sin right
after killing people in gravity.
He says, that's why Allah Azzawajal joined them
in his book.
And that's why the Prophet ﷺ joined them
in his hadith.
The ayahs and the hadiths that we've talked
about.
Meaning, killing people right after comes, fornication, adultery,
and zina.
He says, قَالَ الْإِمَامُ أَحْمَدُ وَلَأَعْلَمُ بَعْدَ قَتْلِ
النَّفْسِ شَيًّا أَعْظَمَ مِنَ الْزِنَةِ He says, I
do not know of a greater sin right
after killing someone than zina.
Right?
And that is interesting.
Because if you were to ask people, in
fact universally, what do you think about killing
people?
Like anybody in the world today.
What do you think about killing people?
They say, absolutely a crime.
In fact, you will have treaties and conventions
against that.
Even though those who sign those treaties are
hypocrites when it comes to them.
They will sign, then they will kill.
But at least verbally they will say, we
agree that this is wrong.
This is a crime.
You're not gonna find anyone who's gonna say
otherwise.
Right?
But when it comes to zina, you're not
gonna find that consensus.
Right?
Meaning zina has slipped out of the area
of the haram, the area of the prohibited,
the area of the reprehensible, despicable acts of
humanity.
Slipped out, and now it's among the acceptable.
Murder is not.
Zina is.
That's more common.
More acceptable.
And we can say not only is that
the case in western non-Muslim countries or
eastern non-Muslim countries, but also to an
extent in Muslim countries as well that consumes
a media that normalizes that behavior.
Right?
Even the media sometimes that is produced within
the country itself, that is a Muslim country,
will normalize either that behavior or the introductions
to that behavior, like dating and going out
and having a boyfriend and a girlfriend and
all of these things.
The introductions are acceptable.
And worldwide, it is not condemnable.
So it's interesting how this is the greatest
sin right after murdering people, yet it's no
longer a sin in the eyes of a
lot of people.
And if you go back to the harm
of zina, and the reason why we need
to emphasize this is that it is an
uphill battle trying to convince people today that
this is wrong.
Right?
And again, even among Muslims sometimes.
So if you don't understand why it's wrong,
you may have trouble communicating that or accepting
it.
So when he says, حفظ الأنسابي that this
is an objective of the sharia to preserve
the lineages.
You may wonder, why do you want to
preserve the lineage?
Because if you don't know who is related
to whom, a person can end up sleeping
with his sister.
Right?
Or with his mother, or with his aunt,
or with his daughter.
Because you don't know who fathered who, who
is related to who.
And that is a breakdown of order in
society.
So he says, this is حفظ الأنسابي, you
want to know who belongs to whom, so
that you know whom to avoid, and whom
you can marry, and whom you cannot.
So that is one.
So we're gonna count some of the, and
I'm saying some of the harms of zina,
because there may be things that are beyond
what we talk about.
You may know them, or they may reveal
themselves later.
قَالَ وَحِمَايَةُ الْفُرُوجِ Safeguarding the private parts.
Because if you don't safeguard the private parts,
what happens?
At least what you're gonna have is physical
illnesses, biological illnesses, that will spread among people.
And we've mentioned the hadith of the Prophet
ﷺ, which is that, when zina is widespread,
it is common, what happens?
That new diseases will spread.
You know, as a natural consequence of what
is happening.
So that, if you safeguard your desire, you
protect yourself, and you protect society.
If you let your desire run rampant, you'll
be sick, you'll make them sick, society becomes
sick.
But it's not also, and if you were
talking about diseases, and talking about sickness, it's
not also or only the physical sickness, but
it's also sickness in character, or psychological sickness
as well, that zina will breed.
And that is something that you may not
think about, but it is there.
Think of any sin, if you keep practicing
that sin, regardless of what that sin is,
what is the sin gonna give you?
Great character, nobility, or the opposite?
The opposite for sure, because Allah عز و
جل hates it, and that's the arena of
shaitan.
So you're gonna develop the worst of character.
So if you think about just zina itself,
where you are cheating on someone, or sneaking
behind their back, or lying to them, that's
what zina is about, isn't it?
So you're gonna sleep with someone's wife, someone's
husband, someone's daughter behind their back, so you
are habitually learning to lie, learning to cover
up those mistakes, learning to cheat, and becoming
what crafty at it, to hide your tracks,
so that no one will find you.
And to keep doing it, and doing it,
and doing it without being caught.
So it will breed into that person, whether
we can decipher how it does this or
not, but it will make the person worse
as a human being.
So you will not find a person who
will commit acts that Allah عز و جل
hates, who will be of impeccable character.
He may have some good qualities in him,
but it's not because of that zina.
Zina is destroying that quality.
He may have had this quality because of
a religious upbringing, or because of good parents,
or because of a general influence in society,
but zina itself will ruin his character, will
ruin his reputation, and will degrade him, and
degrade all of society.
So think of a society that sees zina,
or any other zina as something that is
acceptable, and you know that they are being
downgraded gradually, gradually in character, until they will
turn into literally, or figuratively animals who will
eat each other.
Because this is what it is.
You see a good person, you see a
beautiful person, a beautiful man, a beautiful woman,
you just want to sleep with them.
And that carnivorous type of behavior, that I
just want and I need to have regardless
of consequences, that is what?
That is terrible character.
So he says, حماية الفروج, safeguarding the private
parts, physically but also psychologically.
What happens to you psychologically when someone sleeps
with you and then forgets about you?
He just wanted that moment.
What does that do to a female who
could stay with a male for a year
or two years, and then he says, Sorry,
I'm done with you.
Or a female that does that to a
male.
In a marriage you have a commitment.
You're going in knowing that this person is
committed to me, I'm committed to them.
They're not likely to leave if they see
someone more beautiful or more handsome or...
They're not gonna do this.
But with zina there is no commitment at
all.
There's anxiety.
And then they just let go of you
and they say goodbye, I found somebody younger
or hotter or better or richer, whatever it
is.
Or I'm just simply tired of you.
So what does that do to you psychologically
as you move from one relationship to the
other, from one encounter to the other, what
does that do to you?
Obviously it destroys you and it ruins you.
And if you were to have a child
then, how you're gonna raise that child will
be affected by that psychological damage that you
have.
And then he says, صيانة الحرمات, protecting your
wife, protecting your mother, feeling protective, that is
lost as well.
Right?
So there's no jealousy and I'm talking about
the praised type of jealousy where you are
protective of, you wanna defend your حرمات.
Your family, your daughter from حرم, your wife
from حرم, your mother from حرم, your sister
from حرم.
Now just do whatever you want.
Go out with whomever you want.
So that jealousy is destroyed.
Right?
Especially if the female assumes, well, it's my
right.
As you do it, I'm gonna do it.
Right?
And so that is lost.
Jealousy is lost.
And then of course, enmity between people.
Add to it also that zina will eventually
unravel society by destroying the family.
Right?
And if you think about it, what is
the thing?
And maybe it's sometimes useful to think about
these things even though they're a little bit
abstract.
But you can kind of bring them back
home so that you could sort of observe
them in society.
What keeps a society a society?
Like think about it.
The society that you live in right now.
Whatever that society might be.
What keeps those people together so that they
could say, we're one.
Family is the basic structure if you think
about it.
Because if you think to yourself, if you
say to yourself, I'm just floating in life
as an individual who does whatever he wants.
That's not a society.
Right?
Because society will say, well, no.
We're together.
We have things in common.
Right?
And you have obligations.
And you have rights.
But okay.
But what keeps me attached to this person
or to that person?
There must be some commonalities.
So if you think about, if society is
simply gonna be reduced to a number of
individuals detached from each other, that society will
evaporate.
You need a basic structure to keep them
together.
What is the structure that keeps?
The basic structure that will never go away
that keeps people together.
It is when you bring a male and
a female and they have family and they
feel responsible for that family.
So they do whatever they can to protect
it, to provide for it, to enrich it.
And then this family needs another family and
another family and another family in order to
thrive, in order to prosper, in order to
do what they need to do.
Right?
Now, society to function needs a family.
That's the basic structure.
Now, introduce zina.
Well, you don't need to have a family.
Right?
What happens?
Society starts to decay.
Society really starts to decay.
No bonds anymore.
No permanent bonds.
And you don't need to have children.
And you don't have children, what happens to
you?
Society ends.
Right?
You must have enough children to replace those
who will die.
If you don't have them, then what's gonna
happen?
Not enough money.
Right?
So why do you think people, countries, governments,
they pay those who have children?
Like why?
It doesn't make sense, right?
Why do they pay you if you have
children?
Like in Japan and Korea, right?
They have these programs.
Why do they pay you to have children?
Because they realize that if you don't have
children, the society will collapse.
We need people who will work, who will
bring income, who will bring money, but also
a workforce.
Just basic economics, right?
You need a workforce.
If you don't have enough workforce, what is
gonna happen?
The society will be bankrupt.
So we need money.
Why do you think governments open their doors
for immigrants?
Yeah, because the same thing.
You need a workforce.
If you don't have a workforce, because you
yourself are not producing enough.
Isn't it?
You're not producing enough.
So where does this come from?
That comes really from zina if you wanna
think about it.
Because there's no family.
There's no traditional family.
They're not together long enough or early enough
for them to have children.
And when they are together, they don't wanna
have children.
And if they wanna have children, they only
wanna have one or two.
And that which is not enough.
It's like it needs to be two point
a fraction of something.
You need at least three for the replace.
So what's interesting is that when you spread
zina like that and also zina without consequences.
Zina without consequences.
Not only that there is no punishment or
there is no societal condemnation of it.
There's no disgrace.
Previously there was.
But there are no physical consequences in terms
of you don't get pregnant anymore.
One of the things that would deter a
person from committing zina is what?
The prospect of having a child out of
wedlock.
Especially if you're female.
Right?
That's why the price of zina is higher.
And the female price is higher for zina
than a male.
Because of two things.
Virginity and the child.
Pregnancy.
Because a male does not have to suffer.
A male does not lose his virginity.
Not visibly.
A female does.
And then the female could end up with
what?
A child.
And that's disgraceful.
But also a burden.
So what did they do to encourage zina
or make it consequence free?
Abortion.
Right?
And birth control pills.
And they frame it as autonomy.
As a woman's right.
What is the right there?
For you not to have child.
Meaning, in a sense, if you think about
it and how it developed, is for you
to practice zina without no consequence.
No repercussion.
And when that happens, the door is open.
And which leads to abortion.
The abortion is not about medical necessity.
If it was, it would not be a
debate.
Abortion is about what?
The right to dispose of your child whenever
you feel like.
Which comes from what?
Primarily that zina.
So you think about it, all of these
things together, that is what Allah Azza wa
Jalla is talking about.
That's the destruction of the individual.
The destruction of the family and destruction of
society.
Physically, psychologically, emotionally.
And then religiously.
So that's the terrible price of zina.
Right?
And by no means am I saying that
this is the only harm of zina.
There might be much more.
And Ibn al-Qayyim continues and he says
Allah Azza wa Jalla confirmed this in the
Qur'an.
And that's the ayah that we've mentioned before.
And he says he joined it with shirk
and murdering people.
And made the punishment for that as he
described in the Qur'an.
Incredible punishment and eternity in hellfire, etc, etc.
As we said.
And he said, Subhanahu wa ta'ala, وَلَا
تَقْرَبُوا الْزِنَةِ إِنَّهُ كَانَ فَاحِشَةً وَسَاءَ سَبِيلَ He
says, do not come close to zina.
Indeed it is a fahisha, an obscenity.
And it is a bad path.
An evil path.
So he says, Rahimahullah, it is fuhsh.
He called it fuhsh.
And he says the fuhsh is what, the
thing that is so harmful that it reached
the height or ultimate in harm, in obscenity.
This is the fahish.
Qabeeh, ugly, but it's maximal.
Maximal in its ugliness.
And that is what fahish.
It's fuhsh is what evident in itself to
anyone who's looking at it.
Now he's not talking here, subhanallah, about the
fitrah of a lot of people that has
shifted and was corrupted so they don't see
it as ugly.
But he says for the person who has
the proper fitrah, you cannot look at it,
especially from afar.
Holistically again, is a person what, could long
for zina because he's what?
He has that desire for it.
So he's looking at it what?
With a very limited scope.
I just want to do it because I
love her.
Or I'm simply, you know, have this desire.
I just need to fulfill it.
So it's good.
So he just wants to do it for
that.
That's very limited.
If you expand how you're looking at it,
so that you not only look at it
through your eyes, but the eyes of your
sister.
And the eyes of your potential wife.
And the eyes of your daughter.
And the eyes of a lot of young
men and a lot of young women.
And then tell me that this is good.
Right?
You know how some people, and this is
how kind of we are contradictory.
You would do things yourself, but you will
never let your son do them.
Right?
Or if it's not your son, your younger
brother.
You could smoke, but you never let him
smoke.
You could take drugs, but you never let
him take drugs.
Why?
Because you know what?
In itself it's wrong.
Even if you justify it for yourself, but
you know that not you, you shouldn't touch
it.
Because I know it's wrong.
So you don't look at it through your
eyes only.
Look at it through everybody else's eyes.
Especially those that you love and you want
to protect.
And you'll understand whether this is right or
wrong.
So he said, كما ذكر البخاري He says
that this is something that is ugly, that
even some animals, or maybe many animals, even
when they look at it, they will look
at it with contempt.
He says, كما ذكر البخاري that عبر بن
ميمون الأودي قال, I saw in Jahiliyyah a
monkey committing zina with a female monkey.
He says, the monkeys then gathered and they
stoned them to death.
Right?
So that is his observation.
That doesn't mean that all monkeys behave in
that way.
It doesn't mean that all animals behave in
that way.
But what he's doing here, رضي الله عنه
is what?
He's telling you what?
He said, it is haram.
Our fitrah says it's wrong.
Allah Azzawajal says it's wrong.
He says, they even saw some animals.
You know?
And they know that it's wrong.
Now of course, it doesn't mean all animals.
And what's interesting here, subhanallah, this made me
think about something.
You know, the sahabi here, رضي الله عنه,
he's going top-bottom and not bottom-top.
What I mean by that is what?
He says, we know this is wrong.
And then he's looking at maybe some animals
also have that behavior or not.
He's not trying to copy the animals.
Because some people today, what they'll do is
what?
Go bottom-up.
Which is what?
Look for a behavior among animals to justify
it among humans.
Because when you find that it's true among
animals, it is what?
Natural.
Because we've come from animals after all, right?
So if you could find specifically they were
looking for some homosexual behavior among animals to
say what?
If they do it, then it's natural among
us.
But suppose, suppose, suppose you found it among
some animals, and then what?
You copy them?
There are a lot of other animal behavior
that you really shouldn't copy.
Are you gonna copy everything that they do
in the name that it's natural?
Some of them kill their young.
You wanna do that?
Right?
Or their elders.
Do you wanna do that?
You're not gonna do that.
So you understand the standards that you have
are very different than those of animals.
They don't have the sharia that you have.
They don't have the Qur'an that you
have.
But he's going top-bottom, meaning that if
it is confirmed among some animals, then it
just adds to the evidence that we have.
But even if it's not, even if somebody
comes and said, this is a fluke, this
is not right, it doesn't really matter.
Because what we have is the sharia that
tells us right and wrong.
And he says, وَلَمَا كَانَ نِكَاحُ أَزْوَاجِي الْأَبَاءِ
مِنْ أَقْبَاحِهِ And also, in addition, a specific
facet of it, which is that marrying the
father's wife, the stepmother as they would call
her.
He says, because that, which is the people
in Jahiliyyah, they used to do it before
Islam.
He says, because this is uglier, Allah Azza
wa Jal criticized it more by saying, إِنَّهُ
كَانَ فَاحِشًۭا وَمَقْتًۭا وَسَاءَ سَبِيلًۭا That it is
a fahisha, an obscenity, and hated by Allah,
and it is an evil path.
Because that's even worse than zina.
Right?
That's even worse than zina.
And then he said, رحمه الله, He said,
Allah Azza wa Jal have attached prosperity or
success for a servant of Allah Azza wa
Jal, for any human being, upon, he attached
it to preserving and protecting his private parts.
And you will not be successful without it.
Definitely he's talking about the success in the
akhirah.
But you can also add, extend it to
success in the dunya as well.
And don't be deceived by worldly success that
comes and goes.
Right?
If society had started the way it is
right now, we would not have reached the
heights that it is at this point.
If society, western societies, western countries, the way
that they started, is the way that they
are today, they would not be where they
are today.
But there's a constant degeneration that is taking
place.
That's why you see that a lot of
world today cannot generate the same science, cannot
generate the same advancements.
Why?
Because we're busy with all the corruption that
we have created.
So he says success, Allah Azza wa Jalla
said, قَدْ أَفْلَحَ الْمُؤْمِنُونَ The believers have succeeded
or are successful.
And then he lists all of the qualities
that they have.
أَلَّذِينَهُمْ فِي صَلَاتِهِمْ خَاشِعُونَ Those who have khushu'
in their salah.
One of the things that Allah Azza wa
Jalla says, وَالَّذِينَهُمْ لِفُرُوجِهِمْ حَافِظُونَ Those who safeguard
their private parts.
So you will not be a successful, prosperous
believer who's pleasing to Allah without this.
Right?
And, فَمِنْ ابْتَغَ وَرَاءَ ذَلِكَ فَأُولَئِكَ هُمُ الْعَدُونَ
That is if you go beyond what Allah
had legislated, you are a transgressor.
So he says, رحمه الله, فَمُقَاسَةُ أَلَمِ الشَّهْوَةِ
وَمُعَانَاتُهَا إِسَرُوا إِنْ بَعْضِ ذَلِكَ He says, being
patient with the pain and resisting the pain
or the urge of the shahwa is a
lot easier than bearing the consequence of all
of this.
Which is losing success and becoming a transgressor
with Allah عز و جل.
Meaning the shahwa, resisting it is painful.
He's saying this.
You want to do the haram, and you
resist it.
And your nafs is resisting you, and you're
resisting your nafs, and it is painful, and
it's not pleasant.
He's saying yes, but compare it to the
ultimate consequence where if you follow your desire,
you will regret a lot more than and
be in pain a lot more than the
pain that you have today.
Right?
Where you would wish to say to yourself,
I wish I did not do anything.
If I knew it would lead me down
that path, I would never have done it.
It's easier just to say to yourself, you
know what, forget about this, and do something
more useful, and then you'll forget it.
Verses, get into trouble, committing zina, and all
the things that zina leads to.
And he says, وَنَظِيرُ هَذَا He says, and
similar to this.
He said that Allah عز و جل had
criticized humanity for being what?
هَلُوعَ Anxious.
He says, humanity was created anxious, is not
patient with either good or bad, ease or
difficulty.
But when he's touched, if a human being
is touched with something good, he will hold
and be stingy.
And if something bad happens to him, he
will panic.
Except those whom Allah عز و جل had
saved, and the thing that they will need
among other things.
To be saved from that, those who protect
their private parts.
And then he also goes on to say,
so Allah عز و جل had commanded the
believers to lower their gaze, or from their
gaze.
يَغُضُّ مِنْ أَبْصَارِهِمْ وَيَحْفَظُ فُرُوجَهُمْ And to protect
their private parts.
And he told them that he is witness
over what they do.
Allah عز و جل said, يَعْلَمُ خَائِنَةَ الْأَعْيُونِ
وَمَا تُخْفِي الصُّدُورِ He knows the deceptive look,
and what the hearts are hiding.
The look that looks furtively at the haram
without anyone noticing.
He says, Allah knows this.
Telling you that he knows it so that
you don't think that if you escape people's
gaze, that you've escaped Allah عز و جل.
That you sneak a look at the haram
that somehow you've escaped.
He says, Allah knows this khyana, this betrayal,
this traitorous look, he knows it.
And he knows what you're thinking about as
you're thinking about it, even though the person
sitting right next to you doesn't know that
you have planned to do something haram.
That your heart is boiling with haram.
He thinks that you're nice and obedient and
this.
He says, Allah knows what is in your
heart so don't be afraid of him.
And he knows when you betray Allah عز
و جل and people with a look.
So also be aware of that.
قَالَ وَلَمَّ كَانَ مَبْدُؤُ ذَلِكَ مِنْ قِبَلِ الْمَصَرِ
جَعَلَ الْأَمْرَ بِغَضِّهِ مُقَدَّمًا عَلَىٰ حِفْظِ الْفَجْرِ He
says, because the sin starts with a gaze,
starts with a look before a person commits
zina because he has to say something to
be attracted to it.
He says, he gave that command first.
Meaning, lower your gaze and then protect your
private parts because this leads to that.
Your eyes, if you let them loose, if
you don't restrain them, that will lead to
zina.
فَإِنَّ الْحَوَادِثَ مَبْدَؤُهَا مِنَ الْبَصَرِ Because incidents or
disasters, let's say, they happen because of a
look.
Just like a fire happens because of a
what?
A spark.
Just a spark.
Just a small spark.
And it can spread until it becomes a
massive fire that eats everything.
He says, just like this small thing can
produce a great fire, one small look can
bring a disaster.
فَتَكُونُ نَظْرًا ثُمَّ خَطْرًا ثُمَّ خُطْوًا ثُمَّ خَطِيءًا
So, there's a look and then there's a
thought and then there's a pace or a
step and there's a sin.
That's why it is said, مَنْ حَفِظَ هَذِهِ
الْأَرْبَعَ أَحْرَزَ دِينَهُ That's why it is said,
if you protect these four, you will protect
your religion.
What you look at, your eyes and then
your thoughts and then what you say and
then your steps.
So, what you look at and then what
you think about and then what you say
and then your steps.
قَالَ فَيَنْبَغِ لِلْعَبْدِ أَنْ يَكُونَ بَوَّابَ نَفْسِهِ You
should be like a doorman.
A doorman who observes or protects the door.
Aware of whom you let in and whom
you let out.
Because these are the doors he is saying.
So, you should be the doorman, the guard,
who protects these entry points into himself.
يُولَزِمُ الرِّباطَ عَلَى ثُغُورِهَا You protect them.
Just like a shahad will protect the frontiers.
You do not let anybody come in and
destroy you.
And when Ibn Qayyim saying that this is
how it starts.
It starts with a look, then it develops
into a thought, then it develops into an
act and then the khatia.
He is laying out for you the progression
of sin.
And he is basically teaching you how to
intervene to stop it.
And this is essential.
Not only for yourself, but also if you
gonna teach this to someone or you will
share this with family and you will share
this with your children.
This is how it progresses.
Meaning that you could intervene at any point
to stop the sin up until the actual
performance of that sin.
Even if the person had taken all the
steps but has not committed the sin itself,
he could still stop it.
It's hard, but you can still stop it.
And if you remember the hadith of the
Prophet of the three who were trapped in
a cave behind a big rock.
And each one of them asked Allah Azza
wa Jal by things that they have done
for his sake to save them and remove
that big boulder.
One of them, what did he say?
What was the thing that he had invoked
Allah Azza wa Jal with?
That he had asked a relative of his
for zina.
And under pressure because she needed money, she
accepted at the end.
And he sat on the bed, meaning what
was left, just the act.
He sat on the bed.
And then she said, اتق الله ولا تفضه
الا بحقه He says, have taq of Allah
Azza wa Jal.
Do not commit this act unless rightfully.
So he gave her the money and he
let go of her.
He said, Ya Allah, if you know that
I've done this for your sake, help us
and save us.
And the rock moved.
So a person, Subhanallah, you could reach.
Because you can never say to yourself, it's
too late.
Right?
I'm already involved.
Like with this person, I'm already on the
bed.
On the bed, right?
That's it.
There's nothing left.
But when he say, he says, no, you
can still stop.
Of course, it's difficult, right?
Once you've developed, you've taken all those steps,
it's difficult but not impossible.
But here the intervention is important.
So he says, first it's a look and
he's gonna go into the look.
And then the thought.
You could intervene at the phase of the
look and stop looking.
You could intervene at the phase of the
thought and you can stop thinking.
You can intervene at the phase of speech
and stop talking about it.
Or taking any physical steps towards it.
But any of these points is a point
of intervention where you could stop it.
And a Muslim when he knows this and
you know how it progresses, then you have
a great tool with you.
Then you can fight the shaitan more clearly.
And then teach people how to shaitan because
now you know how it develops.
You must have the idea and then you
will develop that idea and then you will
act on it and then you'll commit that
sin.
And you could trace the progression of that
idea or that sin with you.
No.
Now I'll leave this up to you.
Questions?
Or go further?
Because I don't want it to be too
late.
I don't want you guys to be tired.
Questions?
Or go a little...
I mean no, but you guys have to
be...
It's not that I favor this or that.
Questions?
Who wants questions?
Questions?
Let's go with questions.
Inshallah.
So that I don't want you to feel...
And the other one we're going to be
talking about inshallah is the gaze.
The look next time inshallah.
So yeah, let me know inshallah.
Go ahead.
Walaikum salam.
So the question is that if a person
sets up structures like residences or hotels or
motels for people just to simply use and
people come and they use them for zina
without his knowledge, right?
So we say that there's nothing wrong with
what he has done because he did not
set up those things for zina.
If a person abuses something that you've created
and it's an innocent thing, the sin is
on them.
Not on the person who created that thing.
If a person knows that this thing is
going to be used only for that then
he wouldn't do it.
Any pious person who knows, okay it's in
an area where no one is going to
be there except those who are going to
be committing zina, you wouldn't build it.
But a typical, right, residence, a typical hotel,
a typical motel you're not responsible for what
people do in that thing without your knowledge.
Oh okay, there's something I wanted
to add.
It's a good thing I remembered.
Which is a shubha, right, about zina.
And sometimes you get that.
Which is that I don't see what is
wrong with it if it's consensual.
It's two consenting adults.
What's wrong with it?
And you hear this sometimes coming from Muslims.
Right?
I don't know what's wrong with it.
It's just two consenting adults.
Now, reply to that shubha.
First of all, that argument, if a person
is making it, you have moved zina from
being a disease of shahwa into a disease
of shubha.
So zina is a disease.
If you just simply practice zina and you
say, it's haram and I know and it's
wrong and I'm bad and this and I
regret it.
Eventually I want to leave it.
This is a disease of shahwa.
If you start arguing that it is legitimate,
nothing is wrong with it.
You moved it from shahwa into shubha.
Shubha is far more serious.
Because this thing now, you're messing with the
Qur'an and the sunnah.
What is clear in the Qur'an and
the sunnah and consensus that it's haram, now
you start trying to mess with that.
So that's far more serious.
And you are trying to legitimize this, not
only for yourself, because when you say, I'm
weak and one day I will repent, you're
kind of giving yourself excuses.
But hopefully one day you think you're going
to repent.
But when you say it's consensual, you're legitimizing
this for everybody.
That's incredibly serious.
So I reply to that shubha.
You could be one of two people.
A person who is just a very common
Muslim.
And you say to yourself, you know what?
I don't know what nonsense you're talking about.
I just know that it's haram.
I know it's bad.
That's enough for me.
Done.
That's the general refutation of that shubha.
And that's adequate.
That's suitable.
The only thing you need, that's enough.
Right?
Because not everybody, not every Muslim is supposed
to know the refutation, detailed refutation of every
shubha.
Otherwise that would be impossible.
Imagine, right?
Every shubha, every doubt, every misunderstanding, you need
to know its refutation in detail.
Do you?
A farmer, a mechanic, everybody needs to know
it in detail.
Or is it enough for a person to
know Allah and the Prophet said this.
I believe in that.
What you're saying contradicts it.
I know you're wrong.
That's enough.
But it's better, especially where you live and
how people talk and how they exchange ideas,
to know it in detail.
So you should say to yourself, if you're
saying, it's okay if it's consensual.
Right?
I'll ask you a couple of questions.
Are you saying that God cannot intervene in
a consensual relationship to prohibit it?
Does He have the right?
Not first of all, not that He did.
But does He have the right?
Two adults consenting.
They wanna do things together.
Does Allah have the right to intervene and
say, though you are consenting, I'm not gonna
let you.
He has the right.
Exactly.
He does whatever He wants.
That's His creation.
Did He do that?
Yeah.
Selling and buying.
You can't just sell and buy whatever you
want.
Even, you know, a man and his wife.
He's married.
At this time, you can't have * with
her.
But we're consenting and we're adults and we
can do whatever.
No, you can't have.
Ramadan, you can't.
Right?
She's menstruating, you can't.
Right?
Anally, you cannot.
You cannot do just whatever you want.
So we have in Islam something that would
contradict this idea of two consenting adults doing
whatever they want.
But I say, okay, in addition to this,
are you saying that the government cannot intervene
to prohibit two adults consenting from doing whatever
they want?
Do you think that the government cannot or
does not?
And what do you think when the government
intervenes to prohibit two adults in agreement of
doing whatever they want together?
So, for instance, he wants to sell him
drugs and he's well aware of it.
Do you think the government should not intervene?
Whatever that drug is.
How about prostitution?
Right?
And you say, well, it's oppressive of women.
And the woman comes and tells you, you
know what?
I'm making a lot of money.
Don't interfere.
I'm rich.
I want to do this.
I'm not oppressed.
What do you think?
What do you think?
Think of somebody, what they call mercy killing.
Or maybe it's not even about mercy.
I don't want to live anymore.
I'll pay you, you kill me.
It's a transaction.
I know exactly what I'm doing.
He knows exactly what I'm doing.
Do you want to allow that?
So, you will be in favor of a
government coming and limiting consensual acts.
And you know for sure that Allah Azzawajal
comes down and He, what?
Limits consensual acts.
So, we don't borrow the reasoning from other
people because this is what?
This is the language of the disbelievers.
No, Allah Azzawajal when He says there's something
that is haram, it's haram.
I know something is halal, it's halal.
So, that principle of two consenting adults doing
whatever they can as long as they are
not harming each other, anybody else, that is
what invalid in Islam.
So, I just wanted to answer that because
it did come up and I was hoping
that if a person kind of had doubts
about it or was to encounter somebody with
doubts about this, that they will be able
inshaAllah to answer that.
InshaAllah.
Hmm.
Hmm.
Hmm.
Hmm.
Hmm.
Hmm.
Hmm.
Hmm.
Hmm.
Yeah, Jazakallah.
Right.
So, brother he's referring or pointing out another
complication of what we talked about which is
the protection of lineage.
So, he's saying about sperm banks and how
people will sell their sperm and once that
happens you don't really know anymore who's related
to whom, right.
And you probably have seen some of these
stories where people, a person had fathered, I
don't know, hundreds of kids.
And they didn't know each other and they
just gradually found each other.
So, and he's also talking about milk banks
or something like that where they donate the
milk.
And of course, you know, if you drink
the same milk from the same woman enough
times, you become brothers and sister and you
cannot marry each other anymore.
And so, if that happens, that also spreads
hurmah, the impermissibility of marriage.
And so, people are marrying their sisters and
they are marrying their brothers.
So, how do you avoid this?
Well, first, what do you say about it?
Well, we already know by simply describing it
as we've described it, that this is highly
problematic and it is absolutely haram.
When you try to figure out solutions to
a problem that you created by disobeying Allah
Azza wa Jal, that's what you end up
doing.
You understand what I just said?
These problems that they're trying to solve, where
did they come from?
But it's because you disobeyed Allah to begin
with.
Like, if you stopped, it's a chain.
Like, trace it back and back and back.
It began by disobeying Allah, which led to
a problem.
Led to another problem.
You're trying to solve this by creating another
problem, and so on and so on.
So, the way to do it is to
go back to the origin of that problem
and fix it.
And when you fix this, you're not gonna
need men to donate their sperms.
Why would they donate?
Why are men donating their sperms?
Other than them wanting money.
I'm not talking about the men.
Who's receiving this?
Other than also infertile couples, because there's adoption.
But also, some of them are women who
just simply wanna have children without men.
So, where did this come from?
That in itself is a problem.
But you haven't noticed it as a problem,
right?
And so, go trace it.
Solve it from its inception.
You're not gonna need sperm banks.
And the same thing maybe, wallahu a'lam,
right?
The same thing with milk.
Like, why did this happen?
And if you go and trace it back,
you may trace it back to the same
problem as well.
So, if you go back, you'll understand that
you cannot solve a problem with another problem,
because it just compounds it, and you keep
going on and on and on, and there
is no end.
Alhamdulillah, there is no end.
It just keeps getting worse and worse and
worse.
And you're in a maze, and you cannot
get out of it.
Because you refuse to admit that the original
mistake is a mistake.
It's not a mistake.
Zina is not a mistake.
It's out of the question to say it's
wrong.
Right?
Abortion, it's out of the question to say
it's wrong.
Out.
It's just a right.
It has to be.
I'm not talking about the exceptions.
Exceptions are exceptions.
I'm talking about it being a norm.
If you trace it back, you'll understand why.
So, that's how you approach it.
By not engaging, by saying that it's wrong,
by not replicating the mistake, but understanding from
the mistakes of others.
You've seen what is happening.
And by the way, I'm not just saying
West.
West and East.
Follow the same path, the same thing is
going to happen to you.
Like modernize without thought, without morality, this is
what's going to happen to you.
So, even in Muslim countries today, the rate
of divorce is what?
It's the same thing.
If you don't guard yourself and guard your
society, the same thing will happen to you.
Let me see.
I have a few questions here.
What prevented the wicked son of Adam, the
sinful son of Adam, from repenting?
He didn't want to.
Apparently no.
So, we just know that he did not
repent from it.
Had he repented, Allah Azzawajal would not have
put on him the burden of all consequent
killings.
But he did not repent.
Umm...
Tips on how to soften one's heart?
That will take a lecture, but asking Allah
Azzawajal for it, reading the Quran, visiting the
graves, being around the sick and the orphans,
umm...
these are things, inshaAllah, that will help.
And, you know, just reading the stories of
the righteous, stories of the Salaf, that have
these softeners in them, inshaAllah.
Umm...
As I've mentioned that having one or two
kids is not enough, why is that looked
down upon nowadays?
Having a big family is very financially mentally
demanding.
I'm not saying it's looked down upon.
You understand what I said?
So, let me clarify.
Did I say that having one or two
kids is bad?
No, no, no.
I'm just saying, what did I say?
I said, in economics, you need to have
more than two.
Four, they're a replacement.
Right?
So, maybe...
Ah, exactly.
2.4. Now, so, on average, you could
be fine.
Like, for instance, if you had one or
two, and your neighbor had six, hey, you've
got you covered.
So, we're talking about average, right?
So, for some people, I understand, mentally, physically,
financially, whatever, right?
They can't.
One is enough for them.
Two is enough for them.
I'm not gonna debate that with you.
I'm just talking it in terms of what?
Economics, and in terms of demographics.
That's it.
That you will need to have more.
So, that means that, and again, for that
to happen, think about it.
Because this would revolutionize how, not only Muslims,
but also non-Muslims will think about it.
If you want to have at least three
children, that you plan in your head, that
I want this family to have at least
three children, what would that require?
Hmm?
I mean, what requires?
Marriage.
Because it typically doesn't happen outside of marriage.
So, it requires marriage.
And you want also them to marry early,
right?
Because it's difficult to happen when the woman
is late.
And, so you want them, and also you
want the woman to be at home.
To take care of the kids also.
If you want to have a good family,
just think about it.
If you really want a healthy society, you
have to have these things.
At least part of the time, initially, especially
when they're young, she has to be at
home.
Not a working mom.
No, no, at home.
Not somebody else taking care of them.
No, at home.
So, if you think about it, you have
to revert to a traditional family.
And to a traditional society.
But they never do it.
Never do it, right?
Because they will collapse before this happens.
They will never do that.
So, I'm not saying, you know, it's looked
down upon, right?
So, I hope you understood me right.
How do we implement what we read in
the Qur'an?
You could do it gradually.
By simply taking one thing, and trying to
apply it.
By looking at the Qur'an as a
message.
As a plan.
As an action plan, let's say.
Allah wants you to do this.
And he now communicated this to you.
So, you take one thing, and you apply
it.
And then hopefully, once you start applying one,
the next thing, and the third thing, and
the fourth thing, insha'Allah, will just fall
in line.
There's one here, that I think I've missed.
So, it says, maybe this is a good
lead into the next lecture, insha'Allah.
So, he says, I'm wondering why did you
not promote * as a better alternative?
Because at the very least, it removes the
desire and can be used as a tool
in that regard.
So, * is haram, as the scholars have
said, right?
And, unless in extreme circumstances, the only thing
that is stopping or between you and zina
is that, and you can commit this, and
then you're not going to commit zina, right?
Then they will allow this as a lesser
harm.
But, it's like you're at the end of
it, right?
That's the thing between you and zina.
You're not just sitting at home, and you're
saying, well, you know, if I don't do
this, I'll commit zina, might as well I
do it.
That's not it.
You're actually right at the door.
And that's the thing that's going to stop
it.
They say that you can do this instead
of zina.
But, it is not a solution.
That in itself is not a solution.
Right?
And, we're going to be talking about, when
we talk about the gaze and protecting the
eyes, inshallah, rabbil alameen, next week, I'll mention
this, why this is not a solution, inshallah.
You have any more questions?
Do you
have a specific minor sin in mind, or
just anything?
Okay.
So, the question from the other is that
we mentioned that the great sins, especially the
ones we talked about, like zina, destroys the
fabric of society.
Is it possible for minor sins to do
the same?
Or is this limited to major sins?
Now, because this is major, its effect on
that destruction, or the type of destruction it
causes, is greater than the effect of a
minor sin.
The minor sin, from the name, does not
do as much damage.
Now, if you keep adding the minor sins,
one on top of the other, one next
to the other, until there's a lot of
them, then a lot of minor sins next
to each other, will lead also, to a
decay in society.
Because, a minor sin on top of another,
on top of another, on top of another,
will lead to the major sin.
So, then it leads to that decay that
we're talking about.
So, if the minor sins are spread, and
they amplify, thus, they lead to this.
But, on its own, it cannot compare to
the effect of a major sin.
The major sin is much more destructive.
Insha'Allah, let me just, because I just
read it, I just want to answer it,
then I'll come to you, insha'Allah.
You mentioned that in the Quran, it's mentioned
that humans are created anxious.
Do you recommend anything for people to stay
level-headed, besides having taqwa and making dua?
Just look up the ayah in the Quran,
that mentions this, that they have been created
anxious.
وَإِنَّ الْإِنسَانَ خُلِقَهَا لُعَىٰ And then, look at
how Allah, Azza wa Jal, lists the exception.
إِلَّا, except.
And look at what makes the exception.
That will be your prescription, which includes salah,
includes also taqwa, preserving your private parts, and
everything that Allah, Azza wa Jal, has mentioned.
In general, right, the greater your connection to
Allah, Azza wa Jal, the more level-headed,
the more balanced you are, the more giving
you are when you have, and the more
relaxed and comfortable you are when you are
touched by evil.
So, you're in the middle.
Neither on either extreme.
But it requires an iman that grounds you.
So, if you follow the ayah, and in
generally, please Allah, Azza wa Jal, with Quran,
with dua, with salah, with staying away from
the haram, you will have a portion from
that, bismillah, Azza wa Jal.
Naam.
Naam.
The brother is saying, he's saying that, in
the West before, it was the case that
the high wife would stay home, and the
man would go and work, and earn enough
money to bring back home.
The wife did not have to work.
He says, but today, one income, one household
income would not be enough.
You need two to be working, to be
able to make ends meet, to be able
to survive, to stay afloat.
So, how can you apply this today?
I'm not saying that it's easily applied today.
I'm saying I was hoping that society as
a whole, right, realizes the need to free
women, so that they would raise their children,
and then there will be societal shifts, where
we will say to them, you know what,
you stay at home, and you take care
of this, and maybe we could pay you,
instead of working outside.
Maybe we could do this and that.
Maybe we will increase the pay of your
husband, to include in it, and factor in
the fact that he's supporting you, and supporting
your children, so you don't need two parents
working, but one is enough.
But on our own, no.
We can't do it on our own.
You cannot really apply it on your own,
unless Allah azza wa jalla blesses you somehow.
But if there's a societal shift, just like
when they say, we need immigrants that they
break them, we need to increase minimum wage,
and they do it, a shift like that
that kind of enables the family to survive
as a family.
You had a question?
Yes, yes, yes.
So yes.
So you're saying, isn't it better, knowing what
we know about the society, and how it
combats what Allah allows for us to go
back home?
I mean, I'm saying, I mean, you pray
on it, and then you ask Allah azza
wa jalla for it, and if a place
opens itself to you, then why not?
If you will find yourself to be more
obedient to Allah azza wa jalla in that
place, then why not?
Right?
Why not?
Right?
That's what I can say.
And we are going to talk about that,
inshallah, because he will talk about it, bismillah
azza wa jalla.
So, but in general, right, the question is
about, does the child of Zina, does he
suffer the consequences of the sins of his
parents?
He says, no.
He does not.
Right?
Inshallah.
Because he's innocent, right?
He didn't do anything to deserve it, so
he's innocent of that, inshallah.
Okay, inshallah.
Let me see if I can...
What suggestions do you have for a husband
who doesn't make enough to provide for his
stay at home?
For a stay at home wife taking care
of a small child.
So what suggestions do you have for a
husband who doesn't make enough to provide, so
doesn't make enough to provide for his wife
and his small child?
I mean, if the obstacle there is that
he is unwilling to work or lazy or
what have you, just remind him of his
responsibility that Allah azza wa jalla did charge
you with taking care of your wife and
taking care of your husband, of your wife
and your child.
So, this is your obligation, okay?
And if they are not provided for, who
are you going to leave that to?
This is your responsibility.
And Allah azza wa jalla will ask you
about it.
So, I don't know the exact situation here,
but some of us, subhanallah, we don't take
this seriously.
And like some of us, and again, I
don't know about this situation, some of us
have not really matured, so we think that
we're still young, still kids really, so we
think that somehow this will be taken care
of, my parents will take care of it
or what have you.
No, once you assume responsibility of I'm going
to marry her, you're responsible for her.
I'm going to have this child, I'm responsible
for that child.
And you do your best.
It doesn't mean that, you know, you're going
to be rich.
But you do your best.
At least you've done your best.
And Allah azza wa jalla will bless the
rest.
But don't sit back and say, I mean,
I'm too tired, I'm too lazy, or this
or that, and make excuses, and your wife
is suffering.
The wife who is your responsibility is suffering,
and your son is suffering.
And if you cannot take care of him
financially, how will you be able to take
care of him in other fields as well?
Religiously, morally, right?
Psychologically.
How will you be there if you've neglected
him in this very basic part that seems
that a lot of people can manage?
So if you even fail there, does this
bode well for other areas as well where
you will neglect him and not take care
of him?
So just remind him of his responsibility.
Make dua for him.
Right?
Make dua for him.
Because you do not know how Allah azza
wa jalla can change people.
Okay.
The second question?
The second question is that are you seeing
a sort of movement happening?
Okay.
Inshallah.
So the first question is about taxes and
how countries today depend on taxes for revenue.
And he says, this is, we understand that
this is problematic Islamically.
How did the Islamic, an Islamic government in
the past and in the present, how will
it be able to finance itself?
So we know that there's a collection of
zakah.
And the zakah will go towards many of
the needs of society, whether we're talking about
individuals, or this country will take it and
employ, I mean use that zakah to support
this and support this and support that.
The country itself also, and I don't claim
to have a full and complete answer to
that question, but the country itself also will
have baytul mal.
Right?
The treasury.
And that treasury will also be fed by
an income that comes from lands, let's call
it like federal land that people will have
today.
Lands that it could rent, or lands that
could be used in farming and what have
you and these things could be invested.
And then that will go into the Muslim
treasury.
So it will have its own revenue and
it will spend from that revenue without the
need for a lot of taxes.
Taxes remain as an exception.
That is when the state has nothing and
it is truly in need, it can impose
taxes only as much as it needs and
then it should stop.
So that is kind of a very short,
limited answer to your question because it is
definitely not my field.
Right?
The other question that you had is about
some may prefer in a class like this,
in a lesson like this, to remove the
barrier between men and women because it helps
the sisters to focus, but you say that
the evidence that they cite for this is
the masjid of the Prophet, peace be upon
him, that had no barrier.
Now of course equating the salah to a
class, right, is an equation with difference, an
analogy with difference.
That is a particular type of ibadah and
this one is not an obligation and it
is not a particular form or a similar
form of ibadah.
So if a person were to argue that
this and this should happen in the salah,
it doesn't necessarily mean that it should happen
in a class or it should happen in
a course or in a lecture.
It doesn't mean that it is necessarily wrong
not to have a barrier, but some masjids
choose this and some masjids choose that.
The benefits of a barrier let's say the
pros and cons of a barrier.
The pros of a barrier is that it
does give the females privacy.
Right?
So for some sisters, let's say for instance,
who want to wear the niqab, they don't
have to wear the niqab while they are
secluded.
For some sisters who want to be comfortable
when they sit, they cannot do that if
they are in the presence of men.
So it does give them their own privacy.
They can come in, they can come out,
they can converse if they wish.
Does it impede focus?
Maybe or maybe not.
Like if you really want to focus especially
with the technology you're able to focus.
If you don't want to focus, you're not
going to focus even if you're sitting here.
The advantage of it also of seclusion, and
I'm not going to say it's the perfect
solution, but the advantage of having a barrier
is that you don't have to monitor every
single female who comes into the masjid not
dressed properly with hijab and what have you.
So if we understand or if we know
that all of the women, all the sisters
who come in, in terms of their hijab,
in terms of not wearing make-up, in
terms of not having perfume, they come in
and it's perfect, alhamdulillah.
You could say there's minimal fitna.
But it's not always the case.
So there will be some sisters there who
will come with all of these things.
That seclusion kind of what does what, it
kind of prevents that fitna from happening.
Otherwise you would have to go and continuously
say sisters, your hijab, sisters, make-up, sisters,
perfume, sisters, this.
Which becomes cumbersome really with time.
So that's about the class that I can
speak to.
The barrier between men and women, wallahu alam,
again it depends on benefit and harm.
So some will say, yes, but remember, yes,
no barrier, but also remember that in, let's
say in masjids that have no barrier, what
happens immediately after they finish the salah?
The women remain seated in their area.
They don't leave.
Whereas if you go to the practice of
the Prophet, alayhis salatu was salam, once the
salah, no barrier, right?
Once the salah is done, the women leave
the masjid.
They don't stay.
So the Prophet alayhis salam would ask them,
stay as you are.
So let's suppose we're here.
We finish the salah, the women are behind,
no barrier.
He says, stay as you are, facing the
qibla until the women leave.
And they leave and then they would turn
around.
So that's what you would need to do.
And that's what to minimize contact.
So if a person does not have, or
that masjid does not have the barrier, they
have to do something like that in order
to be exactly like the masjid of the
Prophet alayhis salatu was salam, right?
Not allow the women to be seated.
So men, as they leave and they enter,
they have full view of women, right?
So that's the difference.
And don't take it personally, if you disagree
with this.
No, no, I'm not talking about you generally,
right?
Because I'm speaking to an audience that I
cannot see.
So if you don't like it, say, okay,
different opinion, alhamdulillah.
So what is the best resource to help
children with the tarbiyah of their children?
So I'm just trying to think of books
because I know that there are books in
Arabic that talk about the rights of the
children, the tarbiyah of the children, but I
don't know how many of them are translated.
So if any of those books are translated,
or if you know of them that are
translated, that would be the thing that you
go to because they will tell you how
the Prophet salallahu alayhi wasalam dealt with the
children, dealt with Hasan, dealt with Fatima, the
hadith about children, about, for instance, teaching them
salah, and what does that mean, and how
that is being a model.
So they will collect all of this and
then convey it.
I'm just trying to, I don't remember a
particular resource in English at this point.
But maybe it's available.
You have something?
I'll contribute, inshallah.
Yes.
Right, right, that's true.
Okay.
Okay, so there's some books, inshallah, you say
by Ridha Bashir, in English, inshallah.
So that's something in English.
I'm not fully aware of everything that is
in English.
I know the titles, or some of the
titles in Arabic, but I don't know them
in English, inshallah.
And in general, inshallah, listen to lectures that
would address this.
Read especially in the sunnah things that are
related to children, and how the Prophet dealt
with them, and how he said how to
deal with them, and how to teach them,
how they should dress, how they should be
separated, et cetera, et cetera, as they get
older.
All of these things.
So read it in the sunnah.
It will form a basis, inshallah, of understanding,
and then the rest of what he recommended,
inshallah.
May it be helpful.
Okay.
A final answer?
No.
He's talking about the levels of paradise.
So we have, is it just a hundred
levels, or is it as the Prophet said
to the reciter of the Qur'an, read
and elevate, because your station will be at
the last ayah that you will read.
He says, do we have final answers?
He said, we can say that both of
these things are compatible.
So a person, you know, there are two
vast hundred ones, and you will continue to
be elevated between these levels, between the two,
one and one, and then between one and
two, two and three, and then three and
four, and what have you.
So the ultimate ones are a hundred, or
they exceed a hundred.
I don't know at this moment of a
final answer about the levels of Jannah and
Allah.
And ten levels.
Yeah, the same thing.
The same thing, inshallah.
You had something?
I'm sorry.
Okay.
Okay.
So it's about free mixing with cousins.
Okay.
Relatives.
So if we're talking about cousins, and so
or anyone who's called a relative, that you're
allowed to marry, that this is not a
mahram.
So mahram, you will need to keep a
distance from them.
So you're not allowed to touch them.
You're not to be alone with them.
You don't engage in unnecessary talk with them,
especially soft or jokingly.
You stay in a distance.
Respectful distance.
So that becomes challenging when the family expects
you to mix in a free way because
they think, well, there are no barriers between
you, just like brother and sister.
They're just one big family.
It becomes problematic to assert the Islamic outlines,
or the Islamic limits.
And so what you need to do is
educate and teach and tell them about halal
and haram, what Allah loves and what Allah
hates, and then maintain that difference.
So you're not going to sit on the
same table, eating with your cousin.
There has to be a distance.
You're not going to be alone with them.
You're not going to be sitting in the
same living room next to her talking about
this and that.
There has to be separation and segregation.
Because if you don't do that, then you
could easily fall into fitna.
And the fact that, you know, well, I
grew up with her, that's not enough a
reason or deterrent for the fitna not to
happen.
So a distance, right?
Just as you would, you know, deal with
any other sister outside who is not really
related to you.
You're allowed to marry her and you're allowed
to marry this woman.
You treat them similarly.
Yeah.
So they are shy?
So the second question first, it says, do
you relate the stability of a currency in
a Muslim country to the fact that zina
is not widespread versus the fluctuation of a
currency because of zina that is widespread in
that country?
You would need an economist also to answer
that question because you can't simply isolate zina
as the only factor.
Because somebody will come and say, no, they
did not, because as you mentioned, there is
oil, there is reserve, there is this and
that, while this other country has these other
problems.
So sometimes the religious reasons are not the
visible reasons.
It is there and it's causing something, but
it is indirect.
So it's hard to relate this to that
unless you have faith.
But how do you prove it on paper
that could be difficult for someone, right?
Who doesn't believe in these things?
Plus other factors could complicate that.
So when you come specifically in comparing this
country to that country, you would need an
in-depth study of both countries where you
would notice let's call it a implicit, hidden
reason, and you cannot account for it, and
then you will say, there is barakah, or
there is lack of barakah.
Right?
The other one, the question that you had,
which is if a person is shy, your
recommendation for approaching, how do you initiate, how
you talk about it and what have you?
Which is interesting, because the question here is
is it haram to not ever get married
or have kids?
Marriage is not an obligation unless you're afraid
of falling into haram.
Then it becomes an obligation.
Otherwise, it's a sunnah.
Right?
So if you say, I don't want to
get married, you don't have to get married.
Right?
But if you get married, then one of
the objectives, one of the reasons that people
get married is to have children.
So you cannot say, I'm not going to
have children, because A, it contradicts the cause
of marriage, or the reason for marriage, or
one of the main reasons for marriage, and
then the right of your spouse.
The spouse also has a right, male or
female, to have children.
So if you say no to them, you
have denied them their right and contradicted the
reason for marriage.
So that's the question to this.
So think about it, and think about the
reasons.
Rather than ask this, ask yourself, why is
it that I don't want to get married?
And ask yourself, why is it that I
don't want to have kids?
And then let's deal with that.
So maybe that, inshallah, could be overcome.
You want to add something to this?
Okay.
No, no, I'm not talking to you.
Okay.
So your question is, if you're shy, how
do you overcome your shyness?
Maybe by mediating somebody.
So it's not you, but somebody else.
So it's the parents, it's the friend, it's
an older brother, it's somebody that you trust
and that you know, who could act on
your behalf.
And then pushing yourself, despite discomfort, beyond your
shyness.
Saying, this is something that Allah azza wa
jalla loves.
And if I'm not gonna be shy, just
like commanding good and forbidding evil, speaking out
against evil.
You're gonna be shy and not say it
just because you're shy?
Then the world will collapse.
When you say despite the fact that I'm
shy, I still have to speak the truth,
I still have to tell them that this
is wrong.
Despite the fact that I'm shy, Allah loves
this.
Okay, push yourself and do it.
And you'll overcome that shyness.
So if it's hard in the beginning, people
will help you, inshallah.
Just ask for that help.
The last question, inshallah.
So a business venue or a business idea,
let's say, where if you're gonna open a
business and they're gonna be free-mixing, like
in a cafe, like in a playing what?
Pool or whatever?
Bowling, right?
So is it my responsibility, etc.
If you wanna open a business, you wanna
make sure that it's not gonna be used
for that.
There's a difference between a business that is
halal and somebody takes something from it and
they use it for haram.
Or something that when it's open, you know
that it's gonna be used mostly for something
that Allah does not like.
Which is what's like in a cafe.
People are gonna come and they will free
-mix.
People are gonna come and they're not gonna
separate.
And you're not gonna be able to enforce
a separation.
You won't be able to, right?
It'd be illegal.
So what do you say then?
You say, then I'm not gonna open something
like this.
Restaurant is different, right?
Restaurant is different.
But a cafe typically, right, what happens is
that people come and they usually are young
and they sit together and da-da-da
-da.
Restaurant, whoever wants to come, let them come
and eat, right?
Right?
And you see families coming there.
You see this.
But it's usually the cafe usually caters to
the young.
It usually caters to those who are not
married.
So if you think that it's gonna be
mostly, right?
Unless what you open is what?
A drive-thru.
Or something that is takeaway.
They come and they leave.
They come and they leave.
That's an easy option.
So then you don't have to really contend
with the fact that they are sitting and
there is mixing and there is this.
And haram is taking place under my roof.
No.
Take out and that's easy inshallah.
Okay.
We're good?