Ahsan Hanif – Quran Tafseer – Page 84 – Responsibilities And Kindness
AI: Summary ©
The importance of the family unit in society is discussed, including the roles of men and women in their positions and behavior. The speaker emphasizes the importance of leaders, businesses, schools, government, and society, including the importance of the Prophet's stance and the community. The speaker also discusses the importance of obeying people's laws and sharing experiences and opinions to avoid future problems and show gratitude towards people who require help and support.
AI: Summary ©
Episode of our tafsir page by page. InshaAllah
ta'ala. Today we are on page number
84 which is in the 5th Jews of
the Quran Surah Al Nisa.
In the previous episode, we mentioned a number
of issues that Allah
mentioned from amongst,
them is that Allah
mentioned how this religion is easy and how
Allah azza wa Jal wishes for people to
know the difference between halal and haram and
that Allah azza wa Jal has guided us
to that knowledge so that it may be
a means of ascertaining his mercy and attaining
his forgiveness.
Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala then mentions that in
terms of our transactions,
the way that we have dealings with people,
exchange of wealth that takes place between us,
that is something in which we should do
or it is something that we should conduct
with mutual consent
and abstain from
oppressing others and harming them and transgressing the
boundaries that Allah
has set. Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala also mentioned
in the previous episode as we said, Allah
azza wa jal mentioned in those verses that
if we stay away from the major sins,
then from the mercy of Allah subhanahu wa
ta'ala is that he will forgive the minor
sins.
Stay away from the major
sins and through your other Ibadat, your acts
of worship, your good deeds and so on
and so forth. Allah
will cause
your minor sins to be forgiven. An important
point that should be mentioned here is that
we see from the sunnah that the way
that that is done is through fulfilling the
obligations. So sometimes people have this misconception that
I'm not going to do any of their
major sins.
I'm gonna stay away from stealing and zina
and alcohol and so on. But at the
same time, I am not going to do
any good deeds.
I am not praying. I am not giving
Zakah. I'm not doing the other obligations that
Allah has placed upon me. Leaving those obligations
is also a major sin. So I wanted
to make that clarification because sometimes people get
this confused.
Like, I've I've lived my whole life staying
away from Haram,
but they didn't do the the wajib,
which is Haram, not fulfilling your obligations in
terms of your 5 daily prayers, in terms
of giving Zakah, in terms of fasting Ramadan
and so on and so on. That is
haram, leaving those things. And so therefore they
haven't abstained from the major sins in that
way because leaving off what is wajib
also is haram.
And Allah azza wa jal mentioned also in
the previous episode as we said that both
men and women have their positions in society
and from the mercy of Allah Subhanahu Wa
Ta'ala is that when it comes to seeking
his bounty, his reward, Allah has made both
means made it an open and easy means
for both of them And it is on
that particular issue, the issue of how men
and women should conduct themselves with one another
that we continue in today's episode
and in this particular page of the Quran,
Allah Subhanu wa Ta'ala says in verse number
34.
Allah
subhanahu wa ta'ala says that the husbands have
been given a place of responsibility over their
wives
with the bounties that Allah has given
to some more than others and with what
they spend out of their own money. Righteous
wives are devout and guard what Allah
would have them guard in their husband's absence.
But if you fear high handedness from your
wives, remind them of the teachings of Allah
then ignore them. When you go to bed
then hit them. If they obey you, you
have no right to act against them. Indeed
Allah is most high, most great. Allah Subhanahu
Wa Ta'ala in this verse speaks about a
number of important issues when it comes to
the relation between a husband and a wife.
One of the most important aspects of any
society, any community is the family unit. It
is extremely important.
In order for a community or a society
to thrive, for its people and its members
to be productive,
for there to be general harmony within that
society,
the family unit is extremely important.
And the closer that the family unit is
and the closer that the neighborhood, the people
within that community are, the greater, insha'Allah, the
more, the more,
productive the people and its members are as
well. And that is why Islam places a
great deal of emphasis on these particular social
structures,
the family and before that the husband and
wife because that's the building blocks of the
family unit. Then the family in terms of
the children and the way they respect and
behave with their parents, the Arham, the general
relatives,
the neighbors have their position in this original
wisdom as we will also see it in
today's, particular episode in the verses that we
will mention. All of these people
are the building blocks of a community and
those communities are the building blocks of a
society. And so Allah Subhanu wa Ta'ala expresses
these connections and relationships because they are important.
Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala here is mentioning the
relationship or one of the aspects of the
relationship between a husband and a wife. And
Allah says,
the men
have been given.
Means responsibility.
It means a level of authority
over the women folk.
Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala in every single structure
you need some type of authority that people
have over others. We have this in society
in general, and that's why you have leaders,
whether it's a president, a prime minister, or
a monarch. You have those leaders. You have
them in a structure in a business, you
have the CEO,
you have the managing partners, you have those
people, you have it in a school, you
have a head teacher, and so on. We
need those types of structures
because someone at some point needs to have
the final decision.
And likewise in the family, someone needs to
make the ultimate decision.
Now the way in which that is achieved,
there are multiple ways in all of those
different structures, there are multiple ways in which
that can be done and some are better
than others.
Some are more productive than others. Some are
more recommended than others. So sometimes, unfortunately, Muslim
brothers, Muslim men take this verse out of
its correct and true understanding because the way
that it should be understood
is that this is the command of Allah
azza wa Jal. Now what does that mean
in terms of application?
Let me look at the best example that
I can possibly find
of a husband, a father, a man and
that is our messenger Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam. How
was he as a father? How was he
as a husband? How was he as the
man of his household?
And then you look at that and that's
what you emulate. Rather than Allah subhanahu wa
ta'ala said, I'm in charge. I have authority.
I have power. So now you must do
what I want. And he starts to treat
his family members as if they're slaves,
as if they're employees, as if they're the
workers that he has on his ranch or
in his house or, you know, as if
he's some type of master over them. That's
not the meaning of this verse.
Number 1, the meaning of the verse is
that you have added responsibility
and that in and of itself should make
you stop and think that Allah has pleased
over me, added responsibility and whenever in the
Sharia there is added responsibility,
that means that also there is added scope
that you may oppress even more. You have
the opportunity now that you may do more
harm than good because Allah gave you a
position that if you don't fulfil it correctly
you will end up doing more harm than
good. Number 2, that position of authority doesn't
mean that I can then become like a
dictator.
No. It means that I should do as
the Prophet did as
the Messenger of Allah, as the leader of
the Muslims in Madinah, in many of his
situations if not in fact in the vast
majority he would consult people.
How many incidents do we have where he
gathers all of the companions and he asks
them for their position? How many,
a hadith do we have in which he's
going to his wives and his close family
members and consulting them? How many a hadith
generations do we have where he's speaking to
the likes of Abu Bakr and Umar radiAllahu
anhu and asking them for their private counsel?
And likewise therefore the husband must do this
with the consultation of his wife. Yes, ultimately
you will make the decision because Allah gave
to that position
but wouldn't it make more sense, wouldn't it
be more conducive
for you to go and to ask for
their position, ask for their thing? And then
this issue also
is something in which a person has to
be
mindful, has to be,
has to be sensible, has to be wise.
We don't ever find that the prophet sallallahu
alaihi wasallam was a dictator in every single
issue.
Rather there were many things that he wouldn't
let go. Many times he would take the
opinion of others even if he himself didn't
favor it. Many times when he would just
simply try to reconcile like for example when
he had his wives and some of them
had disputes or disagreements with one another. And
so the role of the one in leadership
doesn't mean that I'm always giving commands.
Do this, don't do that, sit down, stand
up, go, come. No. It means sometimes my
role is to reconcile, sometimes my role is
to listen, sometimes my role is to agree
with others even if I don't necessarily want
to do so. So sometimes your wife may
come to you and she may say, I
need to go out and do something. You
don't really wanna go. And you could put
your foot down and become all manny and
macho about it and so no. Sometimes you
say, okay. That's fine. Because you know that
she needs something and so you will make
the sacrifice for her
even though you may not necessarily want to
do so or you will it's not even
really a sacrifice but you will help her
in this issue because at the same time
she does much for you that she may
not necessarily want to do either. When you
have this approach
and you emulate yourself in the way that
the prophet salallahu alaihi wasallam behaved then this
is the correct understanding of this particular verse
and that is why unfortunately, non Muslims and
others come and they beat Muslims with the
stick. They say this is what your religion
says and this is what we see and
this is what we've heard and they've heard
a tiny fraction.
And even if what they heard was the
majority, it is not the way that the
prophet salallahu alayhi wa sallam behaved.
And so, yes, you have that level of
authority. But look at this hadith of her
mother Aisha where she was asked to describe
the Prophet at home. So we know how
he was as the Khalifa of the Muslims,
the leader of the Muslims, as the Messenger
of Allah in public, as the Imam and
Khatib in the masjid. How was he now
as the general of his army? How was
he now at home? Describe him to us.
She said radiAllahu anha very succinctly,
very comprehensively.
She said
he would be in the service of his
family
and that is what it means to be
in a position of authority
just as we
say right now all of us Muslims, non
Muslims, men, women, we will say the best
leaders are those who look after their people.
They're the ones who are looking for looking
after the people that need their help the
most. They're looking they're not there just taking
the money and taking the position and the
power and oppressing others. The best leaders are
and the best examples of leadership even in
our tradition from those Khulafa like the 4
Khulafa and those who came after them and
followed them in righteousness or those who used
to care about the poor. They would stay
awake at night because they were worried about
the poor and the needy and those people
who are being oppressed. They were the ones
who when they would see people committing oppression,
they would stand up for the rights of
others. This is the best example of leadership
in every single position.
So isn't it the case also therefore that
it should be the same when it comes
to marriage? That the best example of leadership
is when you're actually there to help others.
You have power over others, but rather than
using it in a way that is dictatorial,
you are using in a way that is
to service others, to help them and to
come to their aid.
And that is how the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi
Wasallam was. At home he would mend his
own clothes, he would help his family, he
would be there to help and support them
and he wouldn't say, no I am not
only the man and the husband, he is
the messenger of Allah, the most beloved of
Allah's creation to Allah Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam.
And even so, he still had this amount
of humility and humbleness and good character
but at the same time Allah is saying
that in certain issues someone has to make
a final decision and in that case it
would be the man because Allah has given
to some of you stations over others
and the wife of the
father. And so therefore, Allah says
the
righteous wives
are devout
and they are the ones who preserve
their husband's rights even in their absence. They
will uphold their rights. They will uphold what
they should be doing in terms of fulfilling
the rights of the husband even when he
is not there.
Allah Azzawajal says that if you fear from
them,
Nushooz is when the wife completely refuses to
obey the husband so long as she is
not doing so because of some oppression on
his part. So sometimes we say, oh, the
wife doesn't listen to her husband. She is
not obeying him. But when you dive into
the issue, you see it's because he is
oppressing her. He is withholding her rights. So
he wants all of his rights but he's
not willing to give to her any of
her rights. That's different to someone who's a
good husband, he is a good person, he
is trying to fulfil his responsibility,
he is fair and he is just and
she is refusing to listen to him, She
is refusing to obey him. Allah says that
in that regard, number 1, you admonish them,
remind them of Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala, remind
them of the rights of Allah has given
to you, remind them of what Allah Subhanahu
Wa Ta'ala has said and so on and
likewise the Prophet salallahu alayhi wasallam.
And if they listen and they change them
Alhamdulillah
and if not, then stay away from them
in their beds, meaning stay away from them
during the nights to show your displeasure It's
another way of showing your displeasure to them.
And so that's another level of admonition. And
if that works, then Alhamdulillah. If not, then
you may strike them lightly. Allah says strike
them lightly, meaning in the sense that you
don't leave any marks. It shouldn't be something
which causes undue pain. It's not something which
is violent in its nature but again it
is another means of showing your disapproval
and that is what Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala
has said those are the 3 things that
are open to a person to do in
terms of under Islamic law and so if
you're living in a country where that's not
possible that you have a law that you
can't follow these types of issues with and
so on, then clearly you obey the laws
of the land that you're living in just
to avoid further difficulty for yourself as well.
And if they obey you, then you have
no right to track against them. And the
worst is where you have cases of abuse
where the wife is doing her duty. She
is a good wife and she is there
to help her husband and support him but
he has violent tendencies.
So he berates her verbally. He attacks her
physically. He assaults her. This is from the
worst of examples of a person who's in
a position of leadership just as the worst
of leaders are those who have that position
of responsibility
and they torture people and they imprison them
unjustly and they hurt them without any Jew
right. Those are the worst examples of leadership.
So likewise these are the worst examples
of husbands as well.
Indeed Allah
is Most High Most Greater. Look at the
beautiful way that Allah azza wa Jal finishes
this verse that if you are being overly
oppressive as a husband you are the person
who thinks that you have the power and
authority to do as you wish, then remember
that Allah is an Ali Most High Al
Kabir that he is the Most Great. Allah
has more power than you and Allah has
more rights over you. And that is why
the Prophet sallallahu alaihi wasallam said to the
man
who harmed
his slave. He was punishing him physically. Allah
the Prophet salallahu alaihi wa sallam said to
this man remember that a time will come
that you will stand before someone who has
power over you. Allah has power over you.
So if you oppressed in this life, Allah
will hold you to account on your Multiyama.
Allah
is all great and all high Subhanahu wa
ta'ala. In verse 35 Allah then says
If you believe in fear that a couple
may break up, appoint 1 arbiter from his
family and one from hers. Then if the
couple want to put things right, Allah will
bring about a reconciliation between them, His or
Knowing, All Aware.
Allah says that also from the things that
can happen when between the husband and the
wife there is some
disagreement, some dispute, they're not getting on together
and it's going to lead to a breakup.
One of the steps of reconciliation that can
take place is that the people of the
2 families come together
or other members of the community that know
of this issue and they appoint from each
one of the 2 families an arbiter, a
judge essentially.
Allah calls them a Hakim. Hakim is a
judge or someone who takes the role of
arbitration and reconciliation.
So you have someone respected from his family,
someone respected from her family. These 2 people,
these 2 judges
will sit with each one of the husband
and wife separately
and they will sit with them together
and they will see what their issues are
and whether they are valid or not, their
concerns are true or not and it is
done in accordance with the sharia of Allah.
So these are people that are looking out
for the family reputation
or the culture or the tribal issues. No.
They are looking at the rights that Allah
has given and the sharia of Allah subhanahu
wa ta'ala. Is this husband doing what
he should be doing? And is the wife
doing what
she should be doing? And is there a
possibility of reconciliation
or not? And then they make that decision
and the scholars differ because Allah says here
then if the couple want to put things
right, meaning there is the final decision
belonging to the couple or does it belong
to the the couple here, does it mean
the husband and the wife or does the
couple here mean the 2 judges that have
been appointed and this is an issue you
will find. Some scholars say this and some
scholars say the other. Either way though, if
those two people say that we think there
can be reconciliation,
then it is something which should be done.
The 2 should come together based upon their
advice and the points that they lay out
and the guidelines that they give that I
think that you were wrong in this issue
and you were right in that issue and
these are the bullet points that we think
you should follow. Then inshaAllah ta'ala, if they
want to have good and they want to
reconcile Allah, we'll make things easy for them.
And if they don't want to,
meaning they now reached a level where they
cannot
reconcile, they don't like each other, they've come
to that point now where it's just going
to be problematic,
then they go their separate ways. And that
is why Allah has legislated the first divorce
in circumstances like this when there is no
possibility
of reconciliation.
And so this is from the mercy of
Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala and again to show
the importance of that family unit that we
do everything possible to keep these marriages going
so long as they can and so long
as they are wanting the pleasure of Allah
and there is goodness within it. But if
there is a problem, if there is abuse
in it, if it's not a possibility of
reconciliation
that Allah has also legislated for people a
way out so that those toxic types of
relationships do not continue.
In verse 36, Allah
says,
Allah
says, Worship Him, meaning worship Allah
and join nothing with him in worship.
Be good to your parents and to your
relatives, to the orphans, to the needy, to
the neighbors near and far, to travelers in
need and to your slaves. Indeed Allah does
not love those who are arrogant and boastful
people. Allah gives us amazing command in this
verse and Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala begins with
the command of Tawhid
to worship Allah
alone and to stay away from every type
of ship whether major or minor. And so
we don't worship anyone with Allah subhanahu wa
ta'ala, not whether that person be a prophet
or a messenger, whether it be an angel,
whether it be a righteous person or a
saint, none of them have the rights that
Allah has
because Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala alone is the
creator and the provider, the sustainer, the one
who ordains life and death. And then Allah
says and be good to other people. And
again, this is to do as we were
saying at the beginning of the episode to
do with the social construct of society. Allah
wants these bonds to be close because in
their closeness that is good for the whole
community.
If I'm a father and I have a
child,
my children
will do certain things when I'm absent, when
I'm not aware, when they're outside and I'm
not with them. But if the neighbors, the
family members, the people of the community are
like one and they're close, then if I
see my neighbor's son or or child doing
something wrong or being hurt or being harmed,
I will stand up for them and likewise
my neighbors will do the same for my
children and my relatives and the people within
that community. And so Allah says be good
towards certain people. Some of those people are
in need of your help and some of
those people have relationships with you. So be
good to your parents,
obey them, honor them, respect them. They have
rights over you that Allah
has given to them and you know in
many hadith what those rights are and so
the rights of parents is what Allah begins
with a number of times in the Quran
after mentioning his own rights. After the rights
of Allah
Allah mentions the rights of their parents due
to their status and likewise your relatives your
relatives are those people that are connected to
you through blood and marriage, those people that
are the closest relations to you.
And be good to the orphans, those people
that have lost their fathers or both of
their parents. Wal maisakeen
and be good to the poor, the needy,
those who require your financial assistance.
And be good to your neighbor that is
close to you.
The scholars, some of them said that what
it means that they are closer to you
is in the sense that they are your
neighbor and your relative and so therefore they
have a right over you. That's why the
scholars say that your neighbors
are either a Muslim
and a relative, in which case they have
the highest of rights because they have the
rights of the Muslim, the rights of the
neighbor, and the rights of the relative. Or
they have 2 of those rights, either Muslim
and your neighbor or a relative and your
neighbor, but they're not necessarily Muslim or they
just happen to be your neighbor. These people,
Allah
is saying at the beginning that those people
that have greater rights, give them their rights.
Allah begins with them. So this person is
your neighbor and your relative. They have doubled
the right now. You have to show them
goodliness in terms of being neighborly
and goodliness in terms of the relationship that
they have with you. Jadil Junub Allah says,
and likewise, the relative that is further away,
meaning, and some of them scholars said that
it means proximity,
closer neighbours have more right than the further
neighbours, so the ones who live either door
to you or 2, 3 doors to you
are closer to you than the ones who
live down the street. Another said no refers
to those who have more multiple rights,
neighbors and relatives as opposed to the further
away one being just a single neighbor who
doesn't is not related to you necessarily.
Was sahibibiljamb
and Allah says and
your and your companions. Some of the scholars
said that refers to the wife. Some of
them said it refers
to a travel companion. Some of them said
that it refers to any companion. So that
would include your wife or your husband who's
your companion in life.
It includes your companion that you travel with.
All of these people have rights over you.
So be good to them in terms of
that relationship. Wabni Sabeel and the traveler in
need. And this is the person who's traveling
and they run out of their money and
their provision and they're stuck. Those people have
a right to your charity and to your
help.
And to your slaves be good to them.
Indeed, Allah does not love those who are
arrogant and boastful.
So these are the relationships that Allah
tells us to mind and this is an
important verse because of these relationships and the
level of
importance that Allah attaches
to these people.
In the final verse on this page, Allah
says in verse number 37,
Those who are miserly
and order other people to be the same,
hiding the bounty of Allah that has been
given to them. We have prepared a humiliating
torment for such ungrateful people. Allah subhanahu wa
ta'ala at the end of the previous verse,
Allah said he doesn't like those who are
arrogant, too arrogant to help the poor and
the needy, too arrogant to help those who
require their assistance
and those who are boastful that Allah does
not love, those who boast about certain things
that a person shouldn't boast about in terms
of their lineage and their tribe and so
on and make other people or they look
down then upon other people and they humiliate
them. Allah
describes these people that those people who are
like this often are also miserly.
They don't think that they need to spend
and help others who are in need. They
are like I earned this money. This is
my money. It's my right. That person should
have worked. They should have tried harder in
life. And that person, that poor person may,
their circumstances may just have been that they
never had those opportunities.
Maybe they weren't as fortunate as you as
being born into a wealthy family. Maybe whatever
they tried and they tried sincerely just didn't
work Allah's decree.
And so these people are miserly. They don't
think that anyone should have a right to
their wa'k.
And worse than this, they ask and command
other people to be miserly. They say to
those people who are generous, their friends, their
family people who are charitable, why are you
spending on these people? They don't deserve that
money. Why are you giving it to them?
They don't deserve it. They're just gonna waste
it. It's not gonna make a difference. And
so not only are they Maisali, but they
stop other people from being charitable as well.
And they concealed the bounty that Allah gave
to them. They don't remember that Allah is
the one who favoured them. They so easily
could have been in that situation.
Allah could have swapped them had he chosen
subhanahu wa ta'ala. And there may yet come
a time upon them that they will lose
everything and that they will be in that
situation.
And so they conceal the favors that Allah
has given to them and from that concealment
is that they don't give from Allah's favors
to others. And so Allah bestows you with
wealth from the means by which you show
gratitude for that blessing is to help those
who are less fortunate than you. Allah says
that indeed we have prepared a humiliating torment
for such ungrateful people.
And with that we come to the end
of today's
episode.