Ahsan Hanif – Quran Tafseer – Page 81 – Maintain Your Marital Commitments
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The fourth century's legal book, Surah Al Nisa, is the final page of the 4th volumes of the century's tackle on marriage issues. The discussion touches on the rights of marriage and the importance of giving back things when it's advisable. The speaker emphasizes the need for marriage and gives examples of restrictions on relationships and marriage due to past mistakes and restrictions on certain sex relations. The importance of marriage is discussed, along with the importance of learning the rules of Islam and avoiding sinful behavior.
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Welcome to another episode of our Tafsir page
by page, Insha'Allah today we are on page
81
which is the final page of the 4th
juz of the Quran,
Surah Al Nisa.
In the previous episode, we mentioned those verses
in which Allah Subhanu wa Ta'ala spoke about
some of the laws concerning Zina,
adultery and fornication
and Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala also mentioned some
of the rights that women have and how
they should be treated.
Allah also spoke about the important concept and
issue of Tawbah and how Allah
loves to repent and accept the repentance of
people so long as there is a sincere
repentance where people have genuinely
because of their weakness
and because of their ignorance they they
they commit sins and disobey Allah Subhanahu Wa
Jal and then they turn to Allah Subhanahu
Wa Jal and then they turn to Allah
Subhanahu Wa Jal and repenting
to him asking Allah for his forgiveness
as opposed to those people who sin and
they don't repent
or they sin and they are disbelievers in
Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala or they sin and
then at the very last moment of their
life they will turn to Allah hoping to
to repent to him. Those types of repentances
are not accepted by Allah Azza wa Jal.
In today's
passage or in today's page that we are
going to take the verses that we are
going to study today, Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala
will now go on to the issues of
marriage issues of marriage
and we begin with verse number 20 and
that is the statement of Allah Subhanahu Wa
Ta'ala.
If you wish to replace 1 wife with
another, do not take any of her bridal
gift back
even if you have given her a great
amount of gold.
Allah Subhanu Wa Ta'ala in the previous episode,
the final passage
was concerning the rights of women. Allah Azzawajal
said don't take from their inheritance
without due
cause unjustly, don't devour their wealth without due
cause
nor
nor pressure them to give you back the
dowry that you gave to them or to
let you off for some of that dowry
or to forgive you for that dowry. You
made an agreement with them, fulfill that agreement.
Allah ajaw concluded that verse by saying perhaps
sometimes if you dislike certain issues about them,
Allah will place a great deal of good
for you in them. And that is because
certain characteristics, certain attributes you may not like
about your spouse and they may not like
similar attributes or other attributes concerning
you. But if overall they are good for
you in terms of their religion, in terms
of their character, in terms of their dealings,
then Allah ajazal will place blessings within that
and that's because it is human nature that
there will be certain things that we don't
like about each other Even the people that
are closest to you that you love the
most, people like your parents, your children, you
will see within them certain traits and characteristics
that you think are not so good or
maybe they could be better or improvements that
they can make. That is just human nature.
The difference is that you can't divorce your
parents or your children but you can divorce
your spouse. So Allah is saying that sometimes
you should just be patient and look at
the overall greater picture. However, in this verse
in number 20, Allah says that sometimes that
marriage cannot continue and that is why Allah
has allowed for people to find a way
out of that marriage
contract and that is Abtalak,
divorce.
But Allah
says that if the man is going to
issue the divorce,
then he doesn't get the right to take
back the bridle gift, doesn't get the right
to take back the dowry.
So he can't use that as a way
of also taking his wealth back. As we
said in the previous verse, verse number 19
from the previous episode, Allah said don't harm
your wives in order to take back some
of that dowry. This would be another way
of harm, that the person says I'm going
to divorce you now, so that I can
get back your money. Allah says that when
you divorce your wife you have no right
to the dowry that you gave to her
even if you gave to one of them
a kintar
which is a great amount of gold. And
this verse therefore shows that there is no
upper limit for the Dari, that it is
permissible for someone to give
as much as they want in dowry.
And that is sometimes the case in some
cultures that people give a great deal of
wealth in terms of the dowry that they
give to their future wives. However, the general
practice and what is good and sensible and
what is generally from the son of the
Prophet sallallahu alaihi wasallam is to not go
overboard in increasing their dowry. It has become
in some communities and in some cultures and
amongst some families
a competition
That if so and so gave 10,000, I
have to give 11 or 12. And if
I gave 12, then the next person will
give 15. And if they give 15, of
course, and now it's reaching into the tens
of 1,000 of pounds and that is just
the dowry. That's not even the wedding feast
of Waleema. It's not even the gifts that
are attached to it and the other issues
that come with the whole marriage,
with the whole marriage, and and the whole
wedding thing. And so therefore, the sunnah generally
is to make that easy for people. And
clearly, people's abilities are different. So if someone
is from a wealthy family, what they would
probably give is more than someone who's from
a medium income family or from a poor
family. But each one should be sensible in
what they give amongst their
people and amongst their social circles. They shouldn't
go overboard
because it lands people, unfortunately in some cases,
into debt because some people generally don't have
that type of money. So now they're borrowing
1,000 of pounds in order to give
the,
the the the the daweed to that person.
I know of people that have their their
proposals have broken down because of this issue
of diary. Because the person said, I'll give
you £5,000 and they're like, no. 15. If
you give us 5, it's embarrassing.
All of our cousins, our neighbors, everyone around
us is getting 15, 20 for their daughters.
You're going to give us 5? If people
hear this, it's going to be embarrassing for
us. And so we've attached
wealth as a wealth, as a price tag
for our children now.
And that is something which is causing problems
in certain communities and is preventing certain people
from getting married. The Prophet salallahu alaihi wasallam
was easy going in these affairs and easy
going in these issues to the extent that
he even said to one of those companions
who couldn't find anything that even if you
find a ring made out of iron that
would be enough as a dowry. Give her
that as a dowry. She had nothing else
and so therefore this is something which people
should be mindful of. However at the same
time
Allah's Sharia is his Sharia and Allah didn't
place an upper limit. So therefore, if someone
does give that type of dowry, it is
not haram, there is nothing impermissible about it.
But is it the best thing to do?
Is it a good practice? Is it something
which is sensible that you start your life
as a husband and wife with the husband
being in 1,000 of pounds of debt that
he will now have to pay back over
probably the course of years that would then
affect his ability
to buy a house and to and to
provide for his family and especially when he
has children and the expenses increase and so
on. That is something which people have to
think about and it is something which they
have to be sensible about. But whatever the
case, once that diary has been stipulated and
it is given, the husband has no right
to take it back even after divorce.
In verse number 21, Allah says,
how could you take it when it is
unjust and blatant
sin?
How
could
you
take
it
when you have lain with each other and
they have taken a solemn pledge from you?
So this is the right of the wife
that you gave when you married her. You
stipulated a dowry. Once that marriage has been
consummated
then you must give that dowry over or
even before. That dowry now belongs to her.
And once that dowry is given to her,
you have no right to take it back
because you gave the dowry and
you consummated the marriage and you gave that
pledge that you gave to her So now
that is the right that Allah has given
to her over you.
The next 2 3 verses, verses 22,
23 and the one that we will take
in sha'am on the next episode 24 are
all linked.
And they now speak about the issue of
marriage in terms of who it is
and isn't permissible for us to marry. Who
are the people that we can and can't
marry in our religion and that is because
in certain cultures and even amongst the Arabs,
they would sometimes marry
relations that they shouldn't be marrying and in
certain cultures and in certain civilizations, it has
been known that people will marry people that
they shouldn't be marrying because of their close
blood relation or their close relations in other
ways. So Allah stipulates this now in these
coming verses. In verse 22 Allah subhanahu wa
ta'ala says
Do not marry women that your father has
married with the exception of what is past.
This is indeed a shameful thing to do,
loathsome and leading to evil.
When it comes to those people that we
cannot marry, Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala speaks about
it from the perspective of men and the
female that they cannot marry, the women folk
in their families that they cannot marry and
vice versa the opposite would be true, the
women will not be able to marry those
equivalent
male relatives.
Those people that are we are not allowed
to marry, some of them are permanent in
terms of
in the sense that they are always haram
for you to marry such as for example
your mother, your daughter, your sister and others
have a temporary restriction upon them, a temporary
prohibition upon them because of there being a
circumstance that doesn't allow you to combine between
those two people.
Otherwise, it would be permissible and we will
give examples of this as we go Insha'Allah.
And now when it comes to those people
that you cannot marry, there are people that
are related to you
in one of three ways.
Number 1 is that they are related to
you by blood, so there are blood relatives,
there is a blood relationship
there. Number 2, they are related to you
by what we call in Arabic
which is milk fostering,
So it is common in certain cultures, common
in certain countries that a young child, a
baby,
would be given to another woman to suckle.
And once that woman has suckled that child
a number of times, that child essentially becomes
like her son or her daughter.
So therefore, that mother that woman that suckled
her becomes like a mother to that child.
Her husband becomes like a father. Her own
children become like siblings and so on. Those
relationships that are done through milk fostering
also can be,
a reason as to why marriage is not
permissible
because those people are like your mother, your
father, your brother, your sister and so on
and so forth. And the third way that
we have these restrictions is through marriage, marriage.
So certain marriages or through marriage, certain things
also become haram. So from those examples
of that which becomes haram due to marriage
is what Allah mentions
in this verse, verse number 22
and that is the wives of your father,
essentially your stepmothers. So obviously your own mother
is related to you by blood.
But in terms of your father having other
wives that he married, those
wives of his are essentially your stepmothers, it
is haram for you to go and marry
them. It is impermissible for you to go
and marry them. Allah says
with the exception of what is past, meaning
what people did before Islam because obviously as
we know there were people who accepted Islam
in the time of the Prophet salallahu alaihi
wa sallam and even today maybe in some
cultures they may accept Islam and this is
something which they did in the past.
And so what they did before Islam, Allah
forgives them for once they accept Islam. But
the ruling of Islam is this and they
will then be separated between
them in that particular marriage. So Allah is
saying that that which happened before Islam came,
that's different but these are not the rules
of Islam.
So
the wife
and this is something which was common by
the way amongst the Arabs in the time
of the Prophet sallallahu alaihi wa sallam because
the
stepmother, if the father died, the son would
be like I have more right to her
than anyone else. And he may choose to
marry her for her money, inheritance or for
one other reason or another or he would
simply
stop her from marrying others and so he
would there would be an element of oppression
within this as well. Allah says that indeed
this is something shameful,
lonesome and leading to evil.
In verse number 23 Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala
then says and he continues
mentioning other relations that are not allowed in
terms of marriage and he says,
Allah says that you are forbidden to take
as wives your mothers, daughters,
sisters,
paternal and maternal aunts, the daughters of brothers
and daughters of sisters, your milk mothers and
milk sisters, your wives, mothers, the stepdaughters in
your care, those born
of women with whom you have consummated marriage.
If you have not consummated the marriage, then
you will not be blamed and the wives
of your begotten sons and 2 sisters
simultaneously with the exception of that which has
passed. Allah
is Most Forgiving
and Merciful.
So therefore we see in this long verse
that Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala has mentioned all
of these different categories of relations that a
person isn't allowed to marry, Some of them
through blood, some of them as we said
through Radha which is not fostering and some
of them through marriage.
Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala begins with the
family members that are through blood relations
and that is essentially
your mothers
and anyone that is above them in terms
of ascendency. So grandmothers
and great grandmothers, anyone above them as well.
Daughters
and likewise, their descendants. Any granddaughters, whether it
is from your sons or from your your
your daughters.
Sisters,
whether they are full sisters or half sisters,
paternal sisters, maternal sisters,
Aunts.
In terms of paternal aunts and
maternal aunts. So your,
brothers, your your father's sisters, and your mother's
sisters are your paternal and your maternal aunts,
your nieces whether from your brothers or from
your sisters. All of these people it is
haram for you to marry.
What it means therefore if it is haram
for you to marry that you're also a
for them. Meaning that you can see them,
you can speak to them, you can travel
them. These people are your.
So therefore, for the sisters or for women,
the male equivalents would be the same. So
fathers and grandfathers,
sons and grandsons,
brothers,
paternal and maternal uncles and nephews from brothers
and sisters.
This is all that which Allah made Haram
from blood relations.
Anyone that isn't included in this, it is
permissible for you to marry. So you can't
marry your maternal
or paternal aunt but Allah Azzawajal didn't mention
their children. So therefore it is permissible to
marry what essentially would be your first cousins.
Likewise,
and likewise from
these relationships that which is done through milk
and Allah only mentions 2 by way of
example and that is your milk mothers and
your milk sisters.
But essentially all of them or those relationships
that we just mentioned that are haram due
to lineage and blood relation, they would also
be haram through milk fostering.
So grandmothers through milk fostering,
granddaughters through milk fostering, sisters through milk fostering,
maternal and paternal aunts
and nieces through milk fostering. All of these
would be haram and that is because of
the Hadith of the Prophet sallallahu alaihi wa
sallam which he said
That which is haram through blood lineage and
blood relation
also is haram through milk phosphine, meaning those
same relationships
are the equivalent and this is as we
said something which is common
in certain,
in certain places, in certain cultures, in certain
countries even till today it is something which
is common and it was common obviously in
the time of the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam.
We know that when the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi
Wasallam was a child he was given to
Halima.
Halima took him and she milk fostered him
and she had a number of other children
that she was milk fostering as well. Those
people essentially therefore become like those other children
become like siblings to the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi
Wasallam. So therefore he's not allowed to marry
them
or their children and so on and so
forth. And so therefore this is something which
is still common in a number of cultures.
That is the second thing or the second
way or the second type of relationship that
prevents a person
from having marriage with them. The third one
is through marriage itself.
Certain relationships as a result of marriage make
it haram for you as Allah Azzawajal mentioned
here when he says your wives, mothers meaning
your mother in
law's and your step daughter's. Your wife's daughters
from the other marriages so long as you
have consummated that marriage. If you haven't consummated
that marriage and you divorced that wife before
the consummation,
then that step daughter is no longer haram
upon you. But once you have consummated that
marriage, those relationships,
even after divorce, you are not allowed to
go and marry them.
So these people, mother in laws,
stepdaughters,
the wives of your father and so on,
other than your mother, obviously your stepmothers and
so on. These
are relationships that are through marriage and this
is essentially what the prophet salallahu alayhi
wa'ala is telling us that we must stay
away from.
The women those born of women with whom
you have consummated the marriage, if you have
not consummated the marriage, then you will not
be blamed. Meaning, you will not be blamed
in terms of
marrying those girls, those step daughters because you
didn't consummate the marriage with their mothers. And
likewise, your daughter in law's the wives of
your begotten sons. And then as we said,
there are temporary restrictions. So these are the
permanent ones that you can never marry. Then
there are certain prohibitions that are done of
a temporary nature.
It is because of a circumstance that it
prevents you from marrying those,
that woman. From them is what Allah mentions
here at the end of the verse and
that
is that you combine between 2 sisters, meaning
you marry 2 sisters simultaneously.
So your sister-in-law,
you cannot marry your wife and your sister-in-law
at the same time. Her sister and her,
both of them at the same time, it
is not permissible. That is a temporary restriction.
Why? Because if you were to divorce
the wife
or
she was to pass away, then her sister
would now become permissible for you. You simply
cannot combine. So there is a temporary restriction
and from it also similar to it is
a statement of the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam
in which he forbid a person from joining
between
a woman and her maternal aunt or her
paternal aunt. So this is her side now
not your side, her side, her aunts. You
cannot marry her and her aunt at the
same time and so on and so forth.
So these are temporary restrictions.
Once that restriction is lifted because there is
no longer the element of, for example, combination
of doing it simultaneously,
then that restriction is also lifted. Allah says
that indeed he is most forgiving most merciful.
In verse number 24 which we will take
Insha'Allah Ta'ala
in the next episode and it's the continuation
or if you like the conclusion
of these relationships
that a person isn't allowed to marry but
we will take just the first part because
it is connected
and that is the statement of Allah in
verse 24,
and likewise women that are already married.
So women that are already married, it is
not permissible for you to marry, obviously men
are allowed to take 4 wives, so therefore
that doesn't necessarily equate in the same way.
However, a woman, once she is married to
a man, she is not allowed to have
more than one husband and so therefore, that
is also another restriction and it is also
a restriction that is temporary in the sense
that if she was to divorce or be
divorced by the husband or her husband was
to pass away then she would be allowed
to marry another man but she cannot marry
a man once she is already married. Allah
says everything else is permissible for you other
than those restrictions
that I have been mentioning in these verses
in the Quran or in the Sunnah of
the Prophet SAW Allahu Alaihi Wasallam.
So therefore Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala as we
can see because it was common as we
amongst the Arabs
that they would essentially marry into some of
these relationships and we know from our study
of history and certain civilization
that it would be common amongst some of
them that the brother would marry his sister
or amongst the Arabs for example that he
would marry his stepmother
or that he would marry his daughter-in-law or
whatever it may be. These types of issues
took place amongst the Arabs and they took
place in other cultures and civilizations as well.
One of the things that Islam does is
it tells us to keep the ties of
kinship
and often
in these types of marriages,
there would be problems in issues of divorce
and issues of rank and so on and
so this nucleus of what is the family,
the type family, they are made Haram and
not only for that but obviously there are
medical reasons and health issues
and other factors that come into play in
this as we know now as well So
Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala has told us that
these people are our Muharim,
they are essentially people that are Mahram for
us, Mahram means that it is haram for
you to marry them. And because it is
haram for you to marry them, certain other
things are halal such as you can see
them meaning without their full hijab and so
on. You can travel with them. You are
essentially like a male guardian
towards them. Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala mentions all
of this so that people will know the
rulings of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala and they
will know what Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala said.
Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala says at the end
of that verse, verse number 23.
Except that which took place before Islam because
as we said, there were people who used
to do this before Islam
and some of them when they become Muslims,
it is the case as was the case
in the time of the prophet salallahu alayhi
wa sallam like the man who accepted Islam
and he had more than 4 wives. The
prophet said to him choose 4 and you
must divorce the rest. So what happens before
Islam is forgiven once they become Muslim but
once they become Muslim then the laws of
Islam
apply to them as well. So if someone
was to get married, to become Muslim and
he was married to 2 sisters,
his wives or 2 sisters, then we would
say to him, you must choose 1 and
divorce 1 because that is the law of
Islam. You're not sinful for what happened before
Islam, but now you're a Muslim and these
laws of Islam apply upon you. And with
that InshaAllah Ta'ala we will conclude today's episode.