Adnan Rajeh – Monday Tafseer- 65 Part 3 Surat Al-Talaq- 6-7

Adnan Rajeh
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The speakers emphasize the importance of legal protections for men and women in marriage, rather than a requirement. They stress the need for men to protect privacy and behavior in marriage, as it is a safety hazard rather than a legal requirement. The French rule of Islamic law requires a woman to have at least one child to meet her obligations, while the American law requires divorce, but the Canadian law allows it. The speakers emphasize the need for a woman to take care of her financial needs and the importance of financial wealth in marriage, while also acknowledging the rules of Islamic law, including the requirement of one child for women to meet their obligations.

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			Charlotte, it will continue from
where we left off last week and
		
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			the Tafseer of supaloc. And we
completed the first page of that
		
00:00:07 --> 00:00:09
			surah. And today in sha Allah
Tada, we'll start with the second
		
00:00:09 --> 00:00:12
			page of it, there is a slim
possibility that we actually get
		
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			through the full page is very
connected. But I've never actually
		
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			come through with any of my
promises regarding that before, so
		
00:00:20 --> 00:00:22
			don't hold me to it. So Paluch
		
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			is the not the final surah. But
before final sutra within this
		
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			juicer, which is also a cluster
with a group of students from
		
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			Abuja, to the Hareem. And this
group of students is all about
		
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			organization. It talks about
organizing the Muslim society or
		
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			Muslim community, and looks at
different aspects of of organizing
		
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			Muslim behavior, in groups, as
individuals, with spouses with
		
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			fellow Muslims, with citizens with
non Muslims with those who are
		
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			your enemies with those who have
betrayed you with those who are
		
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			hypocrites who aren't carrying
their weight, with your leadership
		
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			with your society itself. So every
suit, I talked about a different
		
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			example, and I went through those
examples throughout the last seven
		
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			to seven months or so. And so the
top one in the middle of the mall,
		
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			was a sewer that reminded us of
why we're doing all of this,
		
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			organizing the intention for us
and organizing the collective, the
		
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			collective why or the collective
purpose of why of why we do what
		
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			we do and why it is that we commit
to anything that we can do. And it
		
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			talks about organizing, family, or
spouses,
		
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			relationships among spouses,
family is gonna be talking about
		
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			intuitive Darim, which is what
start building now, if not next
		
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			week, the week after, which is the
final soon within this cluster.
		
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			But it talks about talks about
marriage and talks about
		
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			relationships within within
marriage. And
		
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			the reason that he's going to talk
about this topic within by talking
		
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			about but often is because block
is the worst case scenario, the
		
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			worst thing that can happen within
a marriage is for it to end in
		
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			divorce. Obviously, there's worse
things as an abuse. But these
		
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			aren't seen as marriage problems.
They're seen as they're seen as
		
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			legal problems. Like when you talk
about domestic abuse, it's really
		
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			you can call it domestic abuse,
but it's it's abuse, and abuse is
		
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			abuse and someone who's abusing
someone else needs to be taken to
		
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			a court of law and and then held
accountable for that. So
		
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			standards, look at that as its own
entity really looks at marriage as
		
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			an institution where you have
rights and you have obligations,
		
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			and there is a basis for what the
relationship is, is is built upon.
		
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			And then the reason why this
relationship may cease to exist
		
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			all together as well.
		
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			When we talk about domestic abuse,
where someone is abusing someone
		
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			else that doesn't necessarily fall
under the current, the context of
		
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			marriage Islamically speaking, it
falls under the context of void or
		
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			do one of transgression or
mistreatment where the person
		
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			whether they're your husband, or
your wife or not, is going to be
		
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			held to the same to the same laws
of the land that will apply to
		
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			them if they are if they are
mistreating someone, and a lady
		
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			just for the sake of of this piece
of information. If a woman was to
		
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			go to a Muslim judge back in the
day, and show that she had a
		
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			bruise anywhere in her body that
she was hit by her man, he will he
		
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			will put him in jail. He will put
him in jail. And that is that is
		
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			simple. That is simple Islamic one
on one historical Yanni judiciary
		
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			system, like the symbol of
jurisprudence, if he goes, the
		
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			lady goes and says Romney and she
shows any form of of evidence
		
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			meaning he leaves any any bruise
of any sort of any any actual
		
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			evidence on her on her body. He
goes to jail. The verses that talk
		
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			about Yeah, he felt that people
don't know what that means he has
		
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			no space in when he actually
strikes her physically to leave
		
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			any form of of a of a mark on it.
That's not what these verses are
		
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			talking about at all. And we know
that because that's how the
		
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			Islamic judicial system carried
its its verdicts and rulings all
		
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			throughout the history of the
Ummah we are Busey and Osmani
		
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			theta alpha. And you can just go
back and read these things if
		
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			you're interested in understanding
a little bit more. So that the
		
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			end, but in marriage itself, and I
told you that the beginning of
		
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			every session, I'll talk a little
bit about about certain aspects of
		
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			of marriage and what is required
within it tonight, and I covered a
		
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			little bit as much as I could not
least what the what the rights and
		
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			the obligations are of spouses
when they enter into this union.
		
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			Demand is the by default, the man
is the protector provider. He's
		
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			always the protector. You can't
take that away. There's no There's
		
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			no clause in the contract of
marriage that will take that piece
		
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			away. You're a man, you're a
protector. She can say she doesn't
		
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			want it. It doesn't matter. You're
a silver protector. That's how
		
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			it's going down. If I need to
someone breaks into the house, you
		
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			go down, she stays upstairs.
You're the one who's going to die
		
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			that night did so if you're
they'll be the first to expire. If
		
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			someone's going to expire that
night. That's how it is. Even if
		
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			she wants to take that clause out
of the contract saying I don't
		
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			want you to protect her. It
doesn't matter if she's asking for
		
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			that you probably shouldn't marry
her to begin with. But that's what
		
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			that's what you're obligated to do
under Islamic law.
		
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			As a man, you're responsible for
the, for the safety of the women
		
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			in your family, whether it's your
mother, your your daughter, your
		
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			sister, your aunt, your
grandmother, your granddaughter,
		
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			or your niece or your wife,
obviously, which is your highest
		
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			priority, you're responsible for
her well being, period, and all of
		
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			the rulings that you find in
Islam, that today are used to
		
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			point out the mistreatment of
women. And it comes from just this
		
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			very simple concept that you're
responsible for their protection.
		
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			When men misused when these
rulings are misused, they can turn
		
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			into good they can turn into ways
of limiting people's
		
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			participation of life, meaning men
are not allowed to use their
		
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			position as protectors to control
women's ability to participate in
		
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			life and to live like babies.
Because using the Muharram doesn't
		
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			mean that you get to control where
how she's going to live her life
		
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			altogether. No, this isn't an
aspect of you figuring out a way
		
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			for her to be safe and where she's
going because she, she has a
		
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			family, and that's your job. So
this is a it's a family matter.
		
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			And it has to be seen and run as
such. Not necessarily attached to
		
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			the marriage, but to some degree
it is because when we one of the
		
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			aspects of the dynamic of
marriage, and I thought I thought
		
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			bringing this up may be a benefit
is that the when when men and
		
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			women slam men and women marry,
there's always an especially
		
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			today, there's always this lack of
clarity. Well, what do I ask have
		
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			to ask is permission for this is
this question I get a lot from
		
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			this is what do I have to ask is
permission for anything that is a
		
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			reasonable safety hazard, you have
to run it, but you have to bring
		
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			it to your intention of your
husband, you have to bring it to
		
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			his attention. So he can
		
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			decide how we're going to go by
these things. That's, that's
		
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			that's what you have to bring by
your husband.
		
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			It's best that the details of this
aspect is discussed before
		
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			marriage, especially the daily
ones, especially the daily aspects
		
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			of what's what is considered a
safety hazard and what isn't. So
		
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			this discussion is what happened
before marriage, not after, if you
		
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			don't have this before marriage,
then you are very naive, the both
		
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			of you are very naive, and you go
back to the earth. So it's not,
		
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			it's not actually doesn't default
to what the man wants, it defaults
		
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			to the earth to the norm towards
what is what is considered to be a
		
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			safety risk hazard versus not
amongst the normal people. And you
		
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			go back to the family, or you go
back to the MLMs to kind of
		
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			establish that. But if you don't
want to do that you actually have
		
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			a discussion with with your your
significant other before marriage,
		
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			for example, some in certain
places of the world, men aren't
		
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			comfortable with their wives going
outside of the neighborhood on
		
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			their own. And I lived in a place
where that was actually a
		
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			reasonable thing to ask for, like
I lived in a place and a time
		
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			where that was reasonable where it
was she leaves without a Muharram
		
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			this area, she is not safe
anymore. Like she can be abused
		
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			and mistreated by people. So it's
not safe for her to go. And that's
		
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			an example where she has to make
sure that she takes permission
		
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			from the husband and the husband
provides either protection or the
		
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			provide some way where she gets to
go. And he is there out of his own
		
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			time to make sure that she's
protected. Or she goes with a
		
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			group of women, for example, or
she goes with another minimum,
		
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			there has to be some agreement.
		
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			For example, living here in this
city, the norm is that know, a
		
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			lady can move around the city very
freely, very safely. It's not a
		
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			risk hazard for her to go out the
house and go to a mall or drive a
		
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			car within the city. Right? What
about outside the city? What about
		
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			the that is not agreed upon. So if
you go to the oath, they're
		
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			offered the norm is that she's
safe anywhere in this in Canada,
		
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			basically, to move around. But the
husband can point out that I'm not
		
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			comfortable with I'm not
comfortable, you aren't on the 401
		
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			the Highway of Death, I'm not
comfortable on their loan, and I
		
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			am not comfortable going to try I
don't want that. That has to be
		
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			established beforehand. But before
we get married off to establish,
		
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			I'm not comfortable with that. And
she has to be okay with it or not
		
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			before they get married, where
he's gonna be okay, I'm not I'm
		
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			not gonna be okay with you. She
may be someone who's going to have
		
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			to commute every day to a
different city, because that's the
		
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			nature of her work, for example.
So these things have to be agreed
		
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			upon. But when the husband
establishes with reasonable
		
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			evidence that where you're going
is not safe for a lady to be there
		
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			alone is not ruled by law, or
there is a high incidence of
		
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			mistreatment, then she has to
actually she's not You're not
		
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			allowed as a woman to go without a
haram or without that. So for
		
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			example, if my wife decided today
she's going to go to Syria or to
		
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			Lhasa right? I can I can say no,
you're not going, you know, I have
		
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			the right as a husband to hinder
that and say no, you can go, Well,
		
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			if I'm able to provide a Muharram
for her, myself or someone else
		
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			then yes, if not, then she
shouldn't be going. This is
		
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			important pieces within marriage.
The issue is not that the man gets
		
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			to control when you leave the
house. That's not That's not a
		
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			part even though that may be the
culture
		
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			In certain parts of the world,
that's not actually what Islamic
		
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			law is about. The man does not get
to control where she gets to go.
		
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			But he does get a say when there's
a risk hazard involved in order
		
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			for him to be able to protect her.
So if he feels like you're going
		
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			to a place where you're not safe,
and I can't protect you, that she
		
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			has to listen to them. And if she
feels that his standard for that
		
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			is not reasonable, then that
either is talked about before
		
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			marriage and agreed upon or
disagreed upon, or you bring it to
		
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			the Imam and the quality or the
judge actually offers what the
		
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			norm is of that time, what the
norm of that time isn't under oath
		
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			when it comes to marriage is very
important. When people don't talk
		
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			about things you default, you
default to Islamic law, you are
		
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			default to Earth, and sometimes
Islamic law defaults you to the
		
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			norm, what's the norm? What are
how do people what is what is
		
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			considered reasonable amongst the
majority of functional couples
		
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			within that area. And that usually
is found out by OR is known to the
		
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			Imams, or the people who who hear
the questions are involved in the
		
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			ongoing, I think I started the
Imams today, I think it's probably
		
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			marriage counselors or divorce
lawyers, I think I think they're
		
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			the ones who can offer the most
insight on what exactly people
		
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			agree upon prison, what they don't
agree upon.
		
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			But a lot of the laws that exist
in Islam are not designed for a
		
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			woman to when she gets married,
loses her freedom, or she goes
		
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			from the dictatorship of father to
dictatorship of a husband, but
		
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			rather, she goes from the
protection of one person in the
		
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			direction of someone else. And you
can argue that maybe she doesn't
		
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			need it, and you wouldn't be
wrong. And that will be a very
		
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			dumb argument. And I'm not going
to actually entertain that at all.
		
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			Because when the world that we
live in, there's always some
		
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			degree of need protection for any
human being. Actually, we all need
		
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			protection, men included, it just
men don't get it. I'm just not
		
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			offered that protection, I have to
figure it out and protect myself.
		
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			And if I don't, then I die. And
that's my problem. But you are
		
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			obligated as a man to protect the
women in your life. And the women
		
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			are obligated to accept that
protection within what is
		
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			considered to be reasonable. So
spouses before they get married,
		
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			should have these discussions.
What are you comfortable with?
		
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			What are you not comfortable with?
So that we have clarity so that
		
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			there's no so there's no, there's
not a big point of dispute.
		
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			Because there's a big point of
dispute, it becomes hard to live,
		
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			either she feels like this is not
reasonable. This is there's no
		
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			safety hazard here. I've been
doing this for a long time, I
		
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			don't see why this is not
acceptable, and why he's making a
		
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			big deal. Or the opposite. She is
doing something for him, he is
		
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			always worried he's always
uncomfortable. No, neither of
		
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			these people should feel like that
you should never be in a marriage
		
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			where you feel that way. Because
there's when it comes to
		
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			protection. This is subjective,
it's not objective. There aren't
		
00:12:40 --> 00:12:42
			rules Islamically this is what
you're allowed to know, this is
		
00:12:42 --> 00:12:46
			subjective, this is going to be
based on norm culture, what people
		
00:12:46 --> 00:12:51
			are accustomed to, and what their
background is. So this may differ,
		
00:12:51 --> 00:12:54
			some men may be more comfortable
with certain things, and others
		
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			may not. Women will have the same
have the same thing. A woman also
		
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			has the right to say I'm not going
I need to go this place, I'm not
		
00:13:01 --> 00:13:03
			going because I'm not safe, you
need to either provide them a home
		
00:13:03 --> 00:13:07
			or come with me. And I have the
right to go here. So he has to go,
		
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			for example, if he's going to
visit her family, or if she has an
		
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			appointment somewhere that for her
health, for example, so that he
		
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			has to go, he has to provide their
mom, and she's like, I'm not
		
00:13:15 --> 00:13:17
			comfortable going to this part of
the city alone, I need someone
		
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			there she has, he is obligated to
offer some degree of protection
		
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			one way or the other. Now,
understanding that the Prophet saw
		
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			that you saw this and his vision
for the world would be the day
		
00:13:28 --> 00:13:32
			were of a violent meaning a lady
on a camel would leave Iraq to
		
00:13:32 --> 00:13:36
			perform Angelo. This isn't quite a
Muslim, where he where he led us
		
00:13:36 --> 00:13:39
			towards them envision the time
when a lady would leave it off on
		
00:13:39 --> 00:13:43
			her Campbell alone to go perform
Hajj and come back with no
		
00:13:43 --> 00:13:46
			Muharram and not required not
being fearing not fearing for own
		
00:13:46 --> 00:13:49
			safety. So we envisioned that I
was at a time where it be safe,
		
00:13:49 --> 00:13:52
			where law would rule and where
people could could move around and
		
00:13:52 --> 00:13:55
			safely and a woman would need the
protection. So the concept of
		
00:13:55 --> 00:14:00
			Muhammad protection is based on
necessity, based on the necessity
		
00:14:00 --> 00:14:05
			not just not based on control. The
idea here is not to give the man
		
00:14:05 --> 00:14:08
			the ability to control her
movement. No, that's not what what
		
00:14:08 --> 00:14:14
			what the purpose of these rulings
are, is to keep her safe. And I
		
00:14:14 --> 00:14:16
			don't think I need to explain why
that's a very important thing.
		
00:14:17 --> 00:14:22
			Because Because one breach of that
is one example of a breach where a
		
00:14:22 --> 00:14:26
			woman is not safe. And she and she
does get that it's not worth it.
		
00:14:26 --> 00:14:29
			It's not worth running the risk of
that happening one time, because
		
00:14:29 --> 00:14:35
			this type of experience is life
scarring. It ruins life. It ruins
		
00:14:35 --> 00:14:39
			life completely. So so we Islam is
very strict on that, making sure
		
00:14:39 --> 00:14:42
			that this does not happen that we
do whatever we have to do to make
		
00:14:42 --> 00:14:46
			sure this does not occur to a to a
woman in any in any sense or form,
		
00:14:47 --> 00:14:49
			which is why these rulings are
there. So that's a piece of I just
		
00:14:49 --> 00:14:52
			want to add that because I didn't
talk about that last time. But the
		
00:14:52 --> 00:14:54
			man is the protector provider.
		
00:14:55 --> 00:14:58
			That is the default of Islam. You
can always default to that a woman
		
00:14:58 --> 00:15:00
			at any point in your life and
marriage if she's working in
		
00:15:00 --> 00:15:00
			Say, I'm done.
		
00:15:01 --> 00:15:06
			Where's the house, I'm stuck in
here, go work that Harnack I don't
		
00:15:06 --> 00:15:10
			care, sell a kidney, you go to
work three jobs, I don't care,
		
00:15:10 --> 00:15:12
			you'll go provide I'm not working,
I'm staying in the house, I'm
		
00:15:12 --> 00:15:14
			taking care of the kids, I'm
taking the household, she has the
		
00:15:14 --> 00:15:18
			right to do anytime, right? And
the husband who may take on
		
00:15:18 --> 00:15:21
			certain responsibilities within
the household can always default
		
00:15:21 --> 00:15:24
			and say, No, I'm not doing this
anymore. I'm gonna be focused just
		
00:15:24 --> 00:15:27
			to providing protecting, I'm not
gonna do this piece anymore. So
		
00:15:27 --> 00:15:29
			you can always default to these
things. However, you can always
		
00:15:29 --> 00:15:33
			have an agreement at the beginning
of marriage of the provision 5050
		
00:15:33 --> 00:15:36
			and do housework in the household
maintenance 5050, that's totally
		
00:15:36 --> 00:15:38
			fine sign of this, there's nothing
wrong with that. There's no right
		
00:15:38 --> 00:15:42
			or wrong answer here. It's just,
it's allowable to always default,
		
00:15:42 --> 00:15:46
			it's allowable to argue, if the
man defaults, I'm not doing my 50%
		
00:15:46 --> 00:15:50
			in terms of the household, then
the woman pulls her 50% Of what
		
00:15:50 --> 00:15:53
			she's contributing to the
household in terms of finance. And
		
00:15:53 --> 00:15:56
			she uses that 50% to the
supplemental, whatever is left in
		
00:15:56 --> 00:16:00
			some of that, it works out either
way. It works out either way. Like
		
00:16:00 --> 00:16:04
			if I'm if I'm doing 50%, I'm
working, I'm putting all the money
		
00:16:04 --> 00:16:07
			in the bank account all of my
money, and she's putting all of
		
00:16:07 --> 00:16:09
			her money. And at the same amount,
we're making the same, right. So
		
00:16:09 --> 00:16:12
			it's 5050 in the bank account that
we're all pulling out for to take
		
00:16:12 --> 00:16:15
			care of ourselves. She's doing 50%
of the housework, I'm doing 20% of
		
00:16:15 --> 00:16:18
			housework. At one point, she's
like, I'm not contributing 50% of
		
00:16:18 --> 00:16:20
			my money anymore, she takes her
money out puts in her own account,
		
00:16:21 --> 00:16:25
			she can do that anytime. And the
household continues to be taken
		
00:16:25 --> 00:16:28
			care of through the mountain. We
don't do that anytime she wants.
		
00:16:29 --> 00:16:31
			But he has the right at that point
also to pull out his 50% and what
		
00:16:31 --> 00:16:32
			he's doing in the house,
		
00:16:33 --> 00:16:36
			he doesn't have to, doesn't have
to take care of the household in
		
00:16:36 --> 00:16:38
			terms of work, not talking about
wealth, it's your wealth is going
		
00:16:38 --> 00:16:42
			to be put, what do we spend to
take care to clothe and feed and
		
00:16:42 --> 00:16:47
			maintain the household I'm trying
to work, for example, or the time
		
00:16:47 --> 00:16:50
			that I spent with the children at
home, cooking, the cleaning, they
		
00:16:50 --> 00:16:53
			made that type of work, you can
divide it American say at any
		
00:16:53 --> 00:16:55
			point, I'm not doing any of this
anymore, I'm not responsible the
		
00:16:55 --> 00:16:58
			household anymore, I'm going to be
only outside. At that point, she
		
00:16:58 --> 00:17:00
			doesn't have to contribute
financially any more to the
		
00:17:00 --> 00:17:04
			household. So she holds on to her
money. Well, the house, the work
		
00:17:04 --> 00:17:06
			is too much while you can pay from
your own money as a woman who's
		
00:17:06 --> 00:17:08
			working for a maid or someone to
come and help you with whatever,
		
00:17:08 --> 00:17:12
			whatever's left, honestly, it's a
better deal for the lady. It's a
		
00:17:12 --> 00:17:15
			better deal. If he does that.
Honestly, it's better. Like if you
		
00:17:15 --> 00:17:18
			if a lady just keeps her own money
to herself, and uses whatever she
		
00:17:18 --> 00:17:21
			needs to pay for someone to come
and help with the housework. I
		
00:17:21 --> 00:17:24
			think it's a better setup, I'm
actually encouraging it, I'm
		
00:17:24 --> 00:17:28
			encouraging it, I'm encouraging
it. Alright, if you're working as
		
00:17:28 --> 00:17:32
			a woman, hold on to your own
wealth, put it aside, don't put a
		
00:17:32 --> 00:17:35
			note don't have a joint account,
make your own account, but it
		
00:17:35 --> 00:17:39
			alone, he has nothing to do with
the household at all. Whatever
		
00:17:39 --> 00:17:41
			money you make, you take care of
the house and you use your mind to
		
00:17:41 --> 00:17:44
			take care of whatever you don't
have time to take care of. From
		
00:17:44 --> 00:17:46
			your own wealth, you can bring
someone to do it, right. And then
		
00:17:46 --> 00:17:50
			he is responsible for taking care
of you financially and the
		
00:17:50 --> 00:17:54
			children and the household. Why?
Because it just works better. It
		
00:17:54 --> 00:17:58
			just works better. i The number of
messes that I've seen, because
		
00:17:58 --> 00:18:01
			they're both working and putting
the money together, it becomes
		
00:18:01 --> 00:18:07
			very, very, it just feels very
messy. And women contend the wives
		
00:18:07 --> 00:18:12
			tend to be much more disgruntled.
When their wealth is being put
		
00:18:12 --> 00:18:15
			into, like when they feel that
they are contributing that a lot
		
00:18:15 --> 00:18:17
			of their wealth is being put in to
the household where the man's
		
00:18:17 --> 00:18:20
			wealth should have been put in and
he's he's controlling the money
		
00:18:20 --> 00:18:24
			more than she is even though she's
contributing 50% That she ends up
		
00:18:24 --> 00:18:28
			starting starting a lot of have
bad feelings, and it begins,
		
00:18:28 --> 00:18:31
			people start to drift away from
one another. So I think it's a
		
00:18:31 --> 00:18:35
			better way of being done that way.
Because when you hold on to your
		
00:18:35 --> 00:18:39
			own wealth, if he needs money, he
can ask, you can give me cup, we
		
00:18:39 --> 00:18:45
			keep track, we keep track, there's
a Dane in the middle of that. You
		
00:18:45 --> 00:18:48
			keep track, when you put it all
into one mush. It's one big pot,
		
00:18:48 --> 00:18:51
			you can't keep track anymore.
People are putting money out and
		
00:18:52 --> 00:18:55
			he went and bought with the 90
this is the joint beta bank
		
00:18:55 --> 00:18:57
			account while putting money in it.
He went and bought the expensive
		
00:18:57 --> 00:19:02
			car for himself. For whose money?
Was it just from his money? Or was
		
00:19:02 --> 00:19:05
			some of her money to the she had
owned some of that car? How are we
		
00:19:05 --> 00:19:08
			going to actually keep calculation
of all this?
		
00:19:09 --> 00:19:13
			And then then things start to get
messy. And then she does the same
		
00:19:13 --> 00:19:15
			and then it just gets ugly. So
it's better if you if it's if it's
		
00:19:15 --> 00:19:19
			separated? Like I know people like
no we're in love. Bye, good. Good,
		
00:19:19 --> 00:19:22
			have separate bank accounts. So
you stay in love inshallah so so
		
00:19:22 --> 00:19:26
			you stay. It's okay. No, but I
love him. I agree. I get it. Hold
		
00:19:26 --> 00:19:28
			on to your money and you hold on
to his. And then you guys help the
		
00:19:28 --> 00:19:31
			household in ways where there's
someone's keeping track of things.
		
00:19:31 --> 00:19:35
			So it's fair. So it's fair.
Because Islam sees that the money
		
00:19:35 --> 00:19:38
			they're working outside and
bringing the money in to take care
		
00:19:38 --> 00:19:42
			of the household financially,
clothe, feed and protect is equal
		
00:19:42 --> 00:19:46
			to the work that is required to
maintain the household. That's why
		
00:19:46 --> 00:19:49
			because Islam sees them to be
equal. Like the woman is staying
		
00:19:49 --> 00:19:52
			home, cleaning the house and doing
the laundry and cooking the
		
00:19:52 --> 00:19:54
			cooking the food and taking care
of the killed children that is
		
00:19:54 --> 00:19:58
			equal to all the work that you're
doing outside. Islamic leads are
		
00:19:58 --> 00:20:00
			the same. You don't come
		
00:20:00 --> 00:20:02
			homie say, What are you doing? Oh,
no, she's been working probably
		
00:20:03 --> 00:20:06
			equally or more than you are is
the same thing, right? Because
		
00:20:06 --> 00:20:09
			that makes it clear in terms of
what the responsibilities are. And
		
00:20:09 --> 00:20:12
			that clarity will help everyone
function better. Because that way,
		
00:20:12 --> 00:20:15
			we're appreciative of one another,
I see Islamically, you're being
		
00:20:15 --> 00:20:18
			told us a man, you see that the
fact that she stayed home and took
		
00:20:18 --> 00:20:20
			care of the house and to care for
the kids, that that is a job that
		
00:20:20 --> 00:20:23
			you had to be grateful for.
Because it's very hard, just like
		
00:20:23 --> 00:20:25
			you want her to be grateful for
the eight hours you spent with
		
00:20:25 --> 00:20:28
			your boss spitting out at you all
day long, and using us to stay
		
00:20:28 --> 00:20:31
			there till you get paid at the end
of the month to bring a paycheck
		
00:20:31 --> 00:20:34
			and take care of her. So it
becomes an issue of gratitude,
		
00:20:34 --> 00:20:36
			when there's no clarity what the
responsibilities and rights are.
		
00:20:37 --> 00:20:40
			And it's one big mush, and no one
knows that there's lack of
		
00:20:40 --> 00:20:42
			gratitude, everyone starts
thinking, I think I'm doing more,
		
00:20:42 --> 00:20:44
			I'm probably putting more money,
I'm doing more work, everyone
		
00:20:44 --> 00:20:46
			seems to think what they're
putting in and what the other
		
00:20:46 --> 00:20:49
			person is not putting in. And then
it becomes an issue of who's
		
00:20:49 --> 00:20:52
			working more and who's not pulling
their weight and, and it turns
		
00:20:52 --> 00:20:54
			into something that's very
negative, and it goes in the wrong
		
00:20:54 --> 00:20:58
			direction. And want to keep it
positive, keep clarity of
		
00:20:58 --> 00:21:01
			responsibilities, and rights, all
right.
		
00:21:04 --> 00:21:08
			And that's just some advice on how
to stay married if you want to.
		
00:21:09 --> 00:21:12
			So we continue to follow from it.
Number six is told stories only
		
00:21:12 --> 00:21:13
			told versus not very long.
		
00:21:14 --> 00:21:19
			And the fifth, and ends I in
number seven, like the verses that
		
00:21:19 --> 00:21:22
			have felt in them that have
rulings and then the next, the two
		
00:21:22 --> 00:21:25
			verses we recite today, that's the
end of the fifth that exists in
		
00:21:25 --> 00:21:29
			the Surah. The rest of the surah
is just a lot of warnings, that
		
00:21:29 --> 00:21:33
			you better follow these lessons
properly. Now, or else you're
		
00:21:33 --> 00:21:36
			going to be in trouble. And the
reason that's the case, I'm going
		
00:21:36 --> 00:21:38
			to point out to you and Charlo
some degree of clarity over the
		
00:21:38 --> 00:21:42
			next over this holiday next
halacha is that what was the is
		
00:21:42 --> 00:21:46
			what the norm was when these
verses were revealed. So these
		
00:21:46 --> 00:21:49
			verses that came in establish very
clearly what the rights are, when
		
00:21:49 --> 00:21:53
			it comes to divorce. Let's start
start from the beginning just to
		
00:21:53 --> 00:21:56
			go through them quickly. So first
of all, the Fallout has to happen
		
00:21:56 --> 00:22:00
			for California, the entity hinda.
And it has to happen. And there
		
00:22:00 --> 00:22:03
			has to be there has to be someone
who oversees this, yeah, you have
		
00:22:03 --> 00:22:06
			to be you. If it's if it's not the
profit, it starts with him himself
		
00:22:06 --> 00:22:08
			as a judge, someone has to oversee
this process. It's not something
		
00:22:08 --> 00:22:10
			that happens that you can just
socially figure out, do whatever
		
00:22:10 --> 00:22:12
			you want. No, there has to be
someone who's responsible has to
		
00:22:12 --> 00:22:15
			happen at the right time. So as to
be at a time of purity where that
		
00:22:15 --> 00:22:17
			no * occurred, it can
happen during her menstruation
		
00:22:17 --> 00:22:19
			period, or during a period where
they've had *, they get
		
00:22:19 --> 00:22:22
			you guys, you have to wait until
it fill until it's the beginning
		
00:22:22 --> 00:22:24
			of a purity cycle. And you have
not had any but that's when you
		
00:22:24 --> 00:22:28
			can perform the loss if you're
going to do it. Four times in the
		
00:22:28 --> 00:22:30
			first page, he said what tabula
rasa come in different ways. And
		
00:22:30 --> 00:22:32
			I'm gonna point that out because
it's all throughout the page, he
		
00:22:32 --> 00:22:35
			keeps on saying, what the cola or
manga tequila, and he actually
		
00:22:35 --> 00:22:38
			does a lot of explanation. It's
not really just a quick duck, what
		
00:22:38 --> 00:22:42
			no full explanation, when we get
the color hedge Allahumma kraja.
		
00:22:42 --> 00:22:43
			Yet tequila,
		
00:22:46 --> 00:22:49
			tequila Jalla, who mean I'm gonna
use from a tequila you Catherine,
		
00:22:49 --> 00:22:49
			who say,
		
00:22:50 --> 00:22:53
			he keeps on talking about if you
just have that one, because of the
		
00:22:53 --> 00:22:55
			importance of doing this in the in
the right in the right way, the
		
00:22:55 --> 00:22:58
			right method, she is not to be
removed from her home. When the
		
00:22:58 --> 00:23:01
			when the divorce happens, she
stays in her home for the time
		
00:23:01 --> 00:23:04
			unless she performs a function
during that time. In that case,
		
00:23:04 --> 00:23:07
			you can remove otherwise she stays
in her home, you leave, if you're
		
00:23:07 --> 00:23:09
			if the house is not designed where
you can live separate within the
		
00:23:09 --> 00:23:12
			same space, and it's just an
apartment and it's all open. If
		
00:23:12 --> 00:23:16
			you perform a divorce, you'll get
out she stays for the for the time
		
00:23:16 --> 00:23:22
			being. Right. And then when the
time ends it at the end of the 33
		
00:23:22 --> 00:23:26
			cycles, you have to make a
decision, either you reunite, and
		
00:23:26 --> 00:23:29
			it's considered that you made one
bump to one pull off, but you just
		
00:23:29 --> 00:23:32
			reunite with nothing. You don't
require anything but two
		
00:23:32 --> 00:23:36
			witnesses, or you end the marriage
and the marriage ends, you'll need
		
00:23:36 --> 00:23:40
			witnesses for that as well. Now,
once the marriage ends after, you
		
00:23:40 --> 00:23:44
			can only get get married to this
lady with a new motor, like you
		
00:23:44 --> 00:23:46
			have to remarry all over again.
It's as if you guys were never
		
00:23:46 --> 00:23:50
			going to before. Right? If the
three cycles of dead ends, and you
		
00:23:50 --> 00:23:53
			guys don't reunite, you don't
decide to go back together again.
		
00:23:53 --> 00:23:57
			Then this is considered a divorce,
you're done. You're divorced, but
		
00:23:57 --> 00:24:00
			you're like I want to, I want to I
want to get together again, then
		
00:24:00 --> 00:24:03
			you have to go and ask for her
hand for parents all over again.
		
00:24:03 --> 00:24:06
			And you have to do a full mode and
a full Niigata whole thing has to
		
00:24:06 --> 00:24:09
			happen all over again. Because you
didn't do it within the period of
		
00:24:10 --> 00:24:14
			and you can only do that twice. So
if someone divorces and they spend
		
00:24:14 --> 00:24:17
			the three cycles, and they don't
come back together, a full divorce
		
00:24:17 --> 00:24:21
			occurred, right? That's Strike
one. He wants to get married
		
00:24:21 --> 00:24:23
			again. They won't get married
again. He goes he asked for her
		
00:24:23 --> 00:24:25
			hand, they do another Nikka
another and another everything
		
00:24:25 --> 00:24:28
			right? They're married, they
divorce. And a full cycle goes
		
00:24:28 --> 00:24:32
			over and happens now I will strike
two. And if they want to marry
		
00:24:32 --> 00:24:35
			again, they have to go through the
process again a third time or they
		
00:24:35 --> 00:24:38
			have to go do more and he got but
this time, if they divorce, that's
		
00:24:38 --> 00:24:39
			it.
		
00:24:40 --> 00:24:44
			This time of the divorce and it's
Oh class, we're done. Now you
		
00:24:44 --> 00:24:46
			can't really get back together
unless you go. You got to have to
		
00:24:46 --> 00:24:50
			go live your own lives. She has to
go live get married again and then
		
00:24:50 --> 00:24:53
			somehow being divorced or widowed
or something and then sort of like
		
00:24:53 --> 00:24:56
			later in life. If you guys want to
come back together you can try it
		
00:24:56 --> 00:24:58
			again. But not immediately after
because you've already established
		
00:24:58 --> 00:24:59
			that you are immature.
		
00:25:00 --> 00:25:02
			You're not compatible, and you're
not getting it making it work and
		
00:25:02 --> 00:25:04
			you're causing yourselves and
other people a lot of agony. And
		
00:25:04 --> 00:25:06
			this is a ridiculous cycle that
should not continue to happen. So
		
00:25:06 --> 00:25:08
			it's twice and then the third time
philosophy, everyone goes into a
		
00:25:08 --> 00:25:12
			new direction. You need, we need
proper witnesses, because divorce
		
00:25:12 --> 00:25:17
			is marriage should be a decision,
not a moment of anger. Right? No
		
00:25:17 --> 00:25:19
			one gets angry and find themselves
married.
		
00:25:20 --> 00:25:22
			And then no one no one gets
passionate for a moment and find
		
00:25:22 --> 00:25:25
			themselves married. No, it
shouldn't happen for divorce. You
		
00:25:25 --> 00:25:28
			didn't at a moment of passion,
just find yourself divorced. No,
		
00:25:28 --> 00:25:31
			you decide to get married and you
decide to get divorced. You need
		
00:25:31 --> 00:25:35
			the proper, it's occurred to enter
and it's awkward to get out. So
		
00:25:35 --> 00:25:37
			it's a contract to get into
marriage is not a very complicated
		
00:25:37 --> 00:25:40
			one. Just two people, the least
important person in the room at
		
00:25:40 --> 00:25:41
			the time is to share
		
00:25:42 --> 00:25:44
			the least important person at the
time of marriage if you don't need
		
00:25:44 --> 00:25:47
			him at all. He's completely
useless. He is not important at
		
00:25:47 --> 00:25:51
			all. You just need the the groom,
the father of the bride, the bride
		
00:25:51 --> 00:25:53
			and two witnesses. That's it.
Everyone else is just the I need
		
00:25:53 --> 00:25:57
			the hush you just people's filling
up spaces, their MP hours they
		
00:25:57 --> 00:25:59
			don't they don't mean anything.
The whole game that they
		
00:25:59 --> 00:26:02
			specifically is completely he just
did a document he's not important
		
00:26:02 --> 00:26:05
			don't need to shift if officiate
your marriage, you just need to do
		
00:26:05 --> 00:26:07
			this Islamically speaking
obviously, you have to go down to
		
00:26:07 --> 00:26:10
			City Hall and do and do the whole
run around. But But Simon has
		
00:26:10 --> 00:26:11
			begun it's all you require.
		
00:26:12 --> 00:26:15
			And then he pointed out though,
what is the idea for those who
		
00:26:15 --> 00:26:18
			don't have? Well, let us let me on
my head those who are
		
00:26:18 --> 00:26:23
			postmenopausal, or those who have
never had a cycle that is three
		
00:26:23 --> 00:26:26
			months, it is full three months is
there if they don't if they're
		
00:26:26 --> 00:26:29
			postmenopausal, so they don't have
cycles, or they never had a cycle
		
00:26:29 --> 00:26:32
			in their life, then it's going to
be three months. And if someone is
		
00:26:32 --> 00:26:36
			is Hamid if they're if they're
pregnant, then the days until the
		
00:26:36 --> 00:26:38
			end of their pregnancy, whether
the end of their pregnancy is in
		
00:26:38 --> 00:26:41
			12 hours, or whether the end of
their pregnancy is in nine months.
		
00:26:42 --> 00:26:45
			It doesn't make a difference. So
there's a period there a period of
		
00:26:45 --> 00:26:48
			time for someone who's pregnant is
going to be until the termination
		
00:26:48 --> 00:26:50
			or the end of their pregnancy
whether that is a couple of days
		
00:26:50 --> 00:26:53
			because she's at the end of her
pregnancy or it's close to a year
		
00:26:53 --> 00:26:55
			because she's at the beginning of
her pregnancy. It doesn't make a
		
00:26:55 --> 00:27:00
			difference all right. But those
what are the rulings that have
		
00:27:00 --> 00:27:02
			been explained so far? I'm gonna
go through it number six and
		
00:27:02 --> 00:27:05
			seven. I'll tell you why these
these these rulings are explained
		
00:27:05 --> 00:27:07
			and what why they why they were
tough luck came so many times once
		
00:27:07 --> 00:27:10
			we're finished it number seven
will recite the verses after that
		
00:27:10 --> 00:27:13
			that are spiritual and there is
warnings for all of us and I'll
		
00:27:13 --> 00:27:18
			tell you why in children who will
be left in a shame on your Raji.
		
00:27:22 --> 00:27:26
			Bismillah here, man you're walking
		
00:27:29 --> 00:27:37
			a ski no one in high school second
to me you would God calm
		
00:27:44 --> 00:27:50
			so beware, men hate to second
tomb. Mu Wuji decom whoo, whoo.
		
00:27:50 --> 00:27:55
			decom so the GM is second. And the
VA has Obama? It's not very
		
00:27:55 --> 00:27:58
			comfortable to say uh, well with
Obama on it. Well, I mean, would
		
00:27:58 --> 00:28:02
			you decom right. Mu wo JD comm
that's our sub supposed to sell
		
00:28:02 --> 00:28:08
			while tubo or ruhuna ready to buy
		
00:28:10 --> 00:28:11
			in
		
00:28:19 --> 00:28:23
			because they are talking about
women and their rights and their
		
00:28:23 --> 00:28:27
			rulings you have the noon and
missa a lot at the end of the
		
00:28:27 --> 00:28:31
			words. So when I told all ruhuna
the noon here is to refer to
		
00:28:31 --> 00:28:36
			ladies lead to a boy you Isley
Hiner again for ladies, so I lay
		
00:28:36 --> 00:28:41
			him works for men and men and
women. I lay him with the new one,
		
00:28:41 --> 00:28:44
			right that means only women so in
Islam, whatever whatever the
		
00:28:44 --> 00:28:48
			rulings are specific for sisters,
you'll have the noon and this sort
		
00:28:48 --> 00:28:50
			of petered that's why it was a
block was filled with it with this
		
00:28:50 --> 00:28:53
			because a lot of the rulings here
are specific for for sisters and
		
00:28:53 --> 00:28:54
			women in Islam.
		
00:28:55 --> 00:28:59
			We're in Khun Nakula at Hamlin
		
00:29:01 --> 00:29:03
			Wylie in
		
00:29:10 --> 00:29:14
			so when you see the word Gulati
you see on the Whoa, right you see
		
00:29:14 --> 00:29:17
			on the wall a circle so that
circle tells you that the letter
		
00:29:17 --> 00:29:21
			undred is never recited or it's
never pronounced within our
		
00:29:21 --> 00:29:24
			citation at least within Helston
awesome these signs mean this the
		
00:29:24 --> 00:29:27
			circle on top of the well these
are signs that were added later on
		
00:29:27 --> 00:29:31
			they weren't within the most half
that the Sahaba wrote just like a
		
00:29:31 --> 00:29:33
			lot of the letters on the lot of
the dots on the font and the
		
00:29:33 --> 00:29:36
			coffin and the noon they don't
they didn't exist because they
		
00:29:37 --> 00:29:40
			didn't require any of these things
to recite Arabic appropriately
		
00:29:40 --> 00:29:44
			they're added here to make it
easier for any modern Arabs and
		
00:29:44 --> 00:29:47
			non Arabs to recite to Yanni and
understand how to do it well so
		
00:29:47 --> 00:29:48
			the wow there
		
00:29:50 --> 00:29:53
			because the Ferrari citation for
Hassan alstonville political
		
00:29:53 --> 00:29:58
			shelter but we don't pronounce it
we say we're gonna qulaity Gulati
		
00:29:58 --> 00:29:59
			we don't say Gulati. We don't give
a while
		
00:30:00 --> 00:30:03
			We just picked just Obama there's
other citations that may have that
		
00:30:03 --> 00:30:07
			in this but ours doesn't and the
ways you know that we don't is by
		
00:30:07 --> 00:30:11
			that circle on top of the world to
tell you about under it is not
		
00:30:11 --> 00:30:17
			pronounced when when you recite
alright Hi yah born amla one
		
00:30:21 --> 00:30:28
			in our learner like whom to whom
who are one
		
00:30:35 --> 00:30:39
			what Danny you Boehner can be mad
when
		
00:30:44 --> 00:30:51
			we're in the cell to first to be
ruler who Hello
		
00:30:58 --> 00:31:04
			li Yong people who sat in society
		
00:31:09 --> 00:31:13
			women booty early here is all
		
00:31:17 --> 00:31:20
			fell your fake on in
		
00:31:22 --> 00:31:24
			law
		
00:31:30 --> 00:31:34
			law you can live long enough and
eat lamb
		
00:31:46 --> 00:31:52
			so yeah, long who bad? Oh sorry
you slow
		
00:31:57 --> 00:32:02
			so the explanation of the verses
here a skin Hoonah Men hate to
		
00:32:02 --> 00:32:07
			second tomb mewn would you decom a
skin Ohana is when you put them in
		
00:32:07 --> 00:32:11
			a place to live? Man how you
through second term? Meal? Would
		
00:32:11 --> 00:32:16
			you decom l would who Issa? Look,
we'll talk about meaning what is
		
00:32:16 --> 00:32:20
			your ability mean? How you do
second term? So have them live in
		
00:32:20 --> 00:32:24
			a place that is similar man how
you do second term to where you
		
00:32:24 --> 00:32:27
			live in general, I mean, would you
come to the extent of your ability
		
00:32:28 --> 00:32:31
			to put them in. So when divorce
happens, they either stay in the
		
00:32:31 --> 00:32:35
			house that they're living in, or
they have to live in a nicer house
		
00:32:35 --> 00:32:37
			that is similar to the one that
you are living in. Because
		
00:32:37 --> 00:32:40
			sometimes, like I said, the
financial agreement is that you're
		
00:32:40 --> 00:32:44
			both putting into this home. And
once the divorce happened, it
		
00:32:44 --> 00:32:47
			breaks. So you can't pay the rent
for this for this specific space
		
00:32:47 --> 00:32:53
			anymore. But you still have to
keep her in a proper house for the
		
00:32:53 --> 00:32:57
			duration of the data for the
duration of data just to stay
		
00:32:57 --> 00:33:00
			there. So it's not going to be in
this house has to be a house that
		
00:33:00 --> 00:33:05
			is similar to where you or your
family is living to the extent of
		
00:33:05 --> 00:33:08
			your ability meal would you decom
to whatever it is you can bring
		
00:33:08 --> 00:33:12
			forward you're not required to
meet a standard that you don't
		
00:33:12 --> 00:33:16
			have the money to pay for. But you
can't put her in a Yanni in a
		
00:33:16 --> 00:33:20
			garbage can is it well that's why
I can only afford this you know,
		
00:33:21 --> 00:33:24
			this the slum somewhere down with
no one lives no, you have to put
		
00:33:24 --> 00:33:27
			it in a place that is similar to
where you're living in terms of
		
00:33:27 --> 00:33:32
			space and safety and also luxury
so as to be similar. If the space
		
00:33:32 --> 00:33:35
			that she's living in is not for
her and you you don't want to
		
00:33:35 --> 00:33:38
			leave so if the man doesn't want
to leave the home for reasons
		
00:33:38 --> 00:33:41
			sometimes that house is where he
does his work, for example, this
		
00:33:41 --> 00:33:43
			is the meaning he can't get out of
the house, that he he's
		
00:33:43 --> 00:33:47
			responsible for putting her in a
space that is similar to the one
		
00:33:47 --> 00:33:50
			that she was living in before or
similar to the one that you are
		
00:33:50 --> 00:33:55
			living in to the extent of your
ability to do so. Alright, well,
		
00:33:55 --> 00:34:01
			today ball Runa to law ruhuna
comes from the root of borer
		
00:34:01 --> 00:34:06
			Vallauris is harm when I told all
ruin me Do not cause harm to them
		
00:34:07 --> 00:34:11
			lead to like Ebola, you know, to
make it more difficult for them to
		
00:34:11 --> 00:34:15
			survive it the lead is to make
things slim or make things
		
00:34:15 --> 00:34:16
			uncomfortable.
		
00:34:18 --> 00:34:22
			Why this is being explained
because men would use the fact
		
00:34:22 --> 00:34:26
			that they are they were the sole
breadwinners back then to make it
		
00:34:26 --> 00:34:30
			extremely difficult for the ladies
to survive throughout their adult
		
00:34:30 --> 00:34:33
			as a way of getting back as I said
a lot of divorces don't usually
		
00:34:33 --> 00:34:36
			happen because people are happy
together and that they like each
		
00:34:36 --> 00:34:40
			other a lot. No two people who are
you know in love and happy decide
		
00:34:40 --> 00:34:42
			to divorce it's usually they're
not getting along so there's some
		
00:34:42 --> 00:34:46
			just there's some there's some
resentment that's going on. So men
		
00:34:46 --> 00:34:50
			would use their wealth to make it
difficult so they remove their
		
00:34:50 --> 00:34:52
			wives from their homes and they
wouldn't give them their their
		
00:34:52 --> 00:34:56
			enough aka for the for the time of
the day. Or if they did they would
		
00:34:56 --> 00:34:59
			give them a very small amount not
enough to live in a place that is
		
00:34:59 --> 00:34:59
			respectful or safe.
		
00:35:00 --> 00:35:03
			or the one that they were living
in before. So this verse is saying
		
00:35:03 --> 00:35:05
			a skin wound I mean, how you feel
so again to me would you become,
		
00:35:06 --> 00:35:08
			you put them in a house to live
in, that is similar to the one
		
00:35:08 --> 00:35:10
			that you're living in to the
extent of your ability.
		
00:35:12 --> 00:35:15
			When not to borrow one do not harm
them or cause harm to them with
		
00:35:15 --> 00:35:19
			the intention of trying to make it
difficult for them to survive over
		
00:35:19 --> 00:35:22
			whatever money that you're giving
them, trying to get them to leave
		
00:35:22 --> 00:35:27
			or to, to give up on on what their
rights are, when couldn't know
		
00:35:27 --> 00:35:31
			that you handle and if they are
pregnant, for me and people why
		
00:35:31 --> 00:35:34
			they hidden hatha yoga and Nahum
loan, then you're going to
		
00:35:34 --> 00:35:37
			continue to take care of them
financially until they give birth.
		
00:35:37 --> 00:35:40
			Why is this here? He just talked
about that a second ago, because
		
00:35:41 --> 00:35:45
			what is there, generally speaking,
that was explained to us is going
		
00:35:45 --> 00:35:49
			to be said, I said, total, right,
three cycles, if postmenopausal or
		
00:35:49 --> 00:35:53
			no menopause, no administration
three months. But what if the lady
		
00:35:53 --> 00:35:57
			is second or second month of
pregnancy? Then the end date is
		
00:35:57 --> 00:36:01
			going to be seven months? Right?
So is the man only responsible for
		
00:36:01 --> 00:36:04
			the first three? No, he's
responsible for the full duration
		
00:36:04 --> 00:36:06
			of the pregnancy. So that's why
these verses here, say you're
		
00:36:06 --> 00:36:09
			responsible for all seven months,
it's not, it's not just three,
		
00:36:10 --> 00:36:13
			because well, that's the longest
No, you're responsible had a BA
		
00:36:13 --> 00:36:16
			and now hum lagoon, until they
give birth to whatever they're
		
00:36:16 --> 00:36:17
			carrying in their bellies.
		
00:36:19 --> 00:36:21
			So that's the first piece of filth
here. And this is simple, I don't
		
00:36:21 --> 00:36:23
			have to give you a different
method and what they agree upon,
		
00:36:23 --> 00:36:27
			or they talked about, because this
is technically mostly agreed upon
		
00:36:27 --> 00:36:30
			amongst all four schools of
jurisprudence, that the man who
		
00:36:30 --> 00:36:33
			responsible to put his wife in a
house if he's not going to leave
		
00:36:33 --> 00:36:36
			her in the home that they were
married in, for some reason that
		
00:36:36 --> 00:36:38
			the because he's supposed to leave
as the verses at the beginning
		
00:36:38 --> 00:36:42
			said, but if he can't, and he
needs to stay in this home for for
		
00:36:42 --> 00:36:45
			spiritual reasons, then he has to
put her in a house that is similar
		
00:36:45 --> 00:36:48
			to the one that he's living in, to
the extent of his financial
		
00:36:48 --> 00:36:52
			ability, and he's not allowed to
use his wealth. And to use an
		
00:36:52 --> 00:36:55
			apple pie as a way to harm or to
or to lessen the amount of money
		
00:36:55 --> 00:36:58
			he gives her or to hold back or to
be late on payments to make her
		
00:36:58 --> 00:37:01
			life difficult like that. Someone
will follow in follow up on that.
		
00:37:01 --> 00:37:04
			And he's responsible for her
enough, aka, you're responsible
		
00:37:04 --> 00:37:10
			for her for her financially until
she gives birth to her child, even
		
00:37:10 --> 00:37:12
			if it's more than that. Even it's
more than the three cycles with
		
00:37:12 --> 00:37:17
			three months that the verses
before talked about. Alright, the
		
00:37:17 --> 00:37:21
			second piece Fenella and Anna come
now that they're divorced, if the
		
00:37:21 --> 00:37:25
			mother decides to Breastfeed the
child, for our two who know
		
00:37:25 --> 00:37:29
			Georgia Hana Bill mouth, then via
Windows Ron, then you're
		
00:37:29 --> 00:37:34
			responsible as a man to compensate
her for that. Most schools of
		
00:37:34 --> 00:37:39
			jurisprudence don't see this piece
of the verse to be specific to
		
00:37:39 --> 00:37:45
			divorcees, but rather in general,
the man is responsible for the
		
00:37:45 --> 00:37:49
			feeding of his child. I am
responsible financially for
		
00:37:49 --> 00:37:55
			feeding and clothing my child, the
wife, the mother is not. So if she
		
00:37:55 --> 00:37:58
			breastfeeds, that's something that
she's doing that she can be
		
00:37:58 --> 00:38:02
			compensated for the majority of
madonn, the majority of feet,
		
00:38:02 --> 00:38:04
			three out of forest schools have
your spoon and see that the man
		
00:38:05 --> 00:38:08
			must compensate his wife for the
breastfeeding mean that nothing is
		
00:38:08 --> 00:38:11
			a little bit higher. There's a
little bit more enough that goes
		
00:38:11 --> 00:38:12
			in goes into this.
		
00:38:13 --> 00:38:16
			When they're divorced, for sure,
there's no there's no disagreement
		
00:38:16 --> 00:38:20
			at all, that if she's going to
breastfeed her child he owes for
		
00:38:20 --> 00:38:23
			that. And if she decides that she
doesn't want to,
		
00:38:24 --> 00:38:28
			that he has to go find someone who
will, like he will pay for someone
		
00:38:28 --> 00:38:32
			to take care of this child or he
will pay for the back then there
		
00:38:32 --> 00:38:32
			is no formula
		
00:38:33 --> 00:38:36
			which is better for them. But
honestly, it's It's garbage. But
		
00:38:37 --> 00:38:39
			they would have to find someone
who's willing to Breastfeed the
		
00:38:39 --> 00:38:42
			child for the child to survive. So
you would have to well, Daniel
		
00:38:42 --> 00:38:46
			Rubino couldn't be my roof. If I
had to who knows your I mean, you
		
00:38:46 --> 00:38:49
			compensate her you give her a
jewel a jewel for for
		
00:38:49 --> 00:38:53
			breastfeeding. Well tell me a
little bit in a combi model and
		
00:38:53 --> 00:38:56
			decide what the amount is going to
be amongst you by asking those who
		
00:38:56 --> 00:38:58
			know about this beam out of
meaning do it. This word model
		
00:38:58 --> 00:39:02
			keeps on coming up models means
with kindness, with good ethics,
		
00:39:02 --> 00:39:07
			with ethics and morals that the
society know to be good mean
		
00:39:07 --> 00:39:12
			continue to continue to stay
within the green lines of societal
		
00:39:12 --> 00:39:16
			ethics. So tabula will be in a
Columbia Melrose meaning figure
		
00:39:16 --> 00:39:18
			out how this is going to work,
what the amount is going to be,
		
00:39:18 --> 00:39:21
			what the proper amount of
compensation is, the amount of
		
00:39:21 --> 00:39:25
			what is acceptable, through norms,
and to what people are doing, when
		
00:39:25 --> 00:39:29
			tasks are done. And if you come to
a dead end, meaning he is offering
		
00:39:29 --> 00:39:32
			this much, and either the wife is
like I want more for doing this,
		
00:39:32 --> 00:39:34
			they just don't agree, sometimes
isn't going to happen. Obviously,
		
00:39:34 --> 00:39:37
			if there's a lot of resentment.
First, I totally agree with okra
		
00:39:37 --> 00:39:41
			that he is responsible to pay
someone else to breastfeed his
		
00:39:41 --> 00:39:44
			child or to pay for the formula
for example, that is that is going
		
00:39:44 --> 00:39:45
			to be used.
		
00:39:47 --> 00:39:53
			The only use it means that it is a
command. Leon flip the lamb here
		
00:39:53 --> 00:39:58
			is the Lamb of amar in Arabic. So
it's a command. So may someone do
		
00:39:58 --> 00:39:59
			this as a command to them.
		
00:40:00 --> 00:40:05
			Leone FIP, to spend Leone federal
Dusa those are the one who is
		
00:40:05 --> 00:40:10
			comfortable Minister it he from
the comfort of his, of his of his
		
00:40:10 --> 00:40:15
			finances, Leone's took May the man
who is comfortable spend from the
		
00:40:15 --> 00:40:20
			comfort of his wealth, meaning you
are going to spend upon your wife,
		
00:40:21 --> 00:40:25
			not a specific amount, but a
percentage that makes sense to
		
00:40:25 --> 00:40:29
			your comfort of wealth. This is
what this is explaining. It's not
		
00:40:29 --> 00:40:33
			about a fixed amount. It's about
how much money you have, and what
		
00:40:33 --> 00:40:37
			you're capable of providing for
for the person in front of you and
		
00:40:37 --> 00:40:40
			for your child and for the person
who's taking care of your child
		
00:40:42 --> 00:40:45
			while I'm at his school, but here
it
		
00:40:46 --> 00:40:51
			is, it doesn't it's not from
Bhadra is ability or potency.
		
00:40:52 --> 00:40:56
			Or it means to leave meaning when
something is less than something
		
00:40:56 --> 00:41:01
			else when pudiera it hit is cool.
And the one who is risk their
		
00:41:01 --> 00:41:04
			provision put it on it has been
lessened for them. I guess not a
		
00:41:04 --> 00:41:07
			lot and this is an important word
to understand because you'll find
		
00:41:07 --> 00:41:10
			it like in the Quran among a
number of times if you don't
		
00:41:10 --> 00:41:12
			understand what it means you think
it means potency or ability you'll
		
00:41:12 --> 00:41:14
			recite something and you will
completely misunderstand it for
		
00:41:14 --> 00:41:17
			example in sort of your
		
00:41:18 --> 00:41:22
			family in Santa Clara Hora boo for
caramba who when Amma who for your
		
00:41:22 --> 00:41:27
			food or be acraman Who Amma either
maybe Taylor who Takada la here is
		
00:41:27 --> 00:41:31
			Coco. Takara, Ali risco. He
lessened His provision for him.
		
00:41:32 --> 00:41:38
			Whether knowning is the hub of all
lieben fell one I learned naka de
		
00:41:38 --> 00:41:42
			la Li. For now that I feel guru
Murthy Allah, Allah Allah, Allah
		
00:41:42 --> 00:41:45
			Subhana Allah in the consuming of
volume with a known mean the one
		
00:41:45 --> 00:41:48
			the the man of the whale, you
speaking to him talking about Joe,
		
00:41:48 --> 00:41:51
			in our unit study, he said, is
that have a move on even when he
		
00:41:51 --> 00:41:58
			went away in a state of anger for
one and he thought a LAN naka de
		
00:41:58 --> 00:42:02
			la la he that we would not knock
at the MIT he so if you understand
		
00:42:02 --> 00:42:06
			Nokia here as an ability, then
diverse means and he thought that
		
00:42:06 --> 00:42:11
			Allah couldn't get him it's
insane. He's a prophet of God. You
		
00:42:11 --> 00:42:14
			know, a customer wouldn't think
that you know someone who's in we
		
00:42:14 --> 00:42:17
			should equip knows that Allah
subhanaw taala is potent so you
		
00:42:17 --> 00:42:20
			can you can capture him anytime he
wants for a prophet of God nothing
		
00:42:21 --> 00:42:24
			and there's no story here anymore
Alia and Sophia would come to the
		
00:42:24 --> 00:42:28
			hospital OMA to the great scholar
of our OMA ibis, at least some of
		
00:42:28 --> 00:42:31
			the low iron who came to him and
said yeah dollars yo Mandela Quran
		
00:42:31 --> 00:42:36
			terlato Macnee Quran Millbury ha
first epiphany is that oh
		
00:42:36 --> 00:42:39
			translator of the Quran for us the
waves of the Quran smacked me
		
00:42:39 --> 00:42:42
			around last night I didn't know
what to do. So I told them what is
		
00:42:42 --> 00:42:49
			it said i Although no you're an
Allah lejana de la Li, you will
		
00:42:49 --> 00:42:53
			use the prophet of God thinks
Allah can capture him, but God
		
00:42:53 --> 00:42:58
			have no Ibis had, you know how did
He mean lamb you know, this is
		
00:42:58 --> 00:43:02
			from Kargil from from lessening
something not from capturing or,
		
00:43:02 --> 00:43:05
			or having having sovereignty or
ability over it. But when Allah
		
00:43:05 --> 00:43:08
			Nakamura Allah and he thought that
he was not going to be punished
		
00:43:08 --> 00:43:12
			for it, he was not going to be
listened to his his his love and
		
00:43:12 --> 00:43:14
			status was not going to be
lessened because of the fact that
		
00:43:14 --> 00:43:17
			he left his people in a state of
anger. But he left his people
		
00:43:17 --> 00:43:20
			without permission. Prophets
aren't allowed to leave their
		
00:43:20 --> 00:43:24
			place. Allah sends them without
permission. He left when Allah
		
00:43:24 --> 00:43:27
			told him that his people were
going to be punished in three
		
00:43:27 --> 00:43:27
			days.
		
00:43:28 --> 00:43:31
			Cause punishment is coming like
law police and I'm told his people
		
00:43:31 --> 00:43:35
			like, like, who told his people
lixada Like, shall I? So he told
		
00:43:35 --> 00:43:38
			his people that you want to be
punished, and he was so upset with
		
00:43:38 --> 00:43:41
			them. It's like any What idiots
you are. I've been talking to you
		
00:43:41 --> 00:43:44
			for years, you had to bring upon
yourself punishment. Oh, I'll take
		
00:43:44 --> 00:43:47
			him off. And he left. Like he like
he was like, I can only look at
		
00:43:47 --> 00:43:49
			your faces anymore. Like, Well,
why would you do this to yourself
		
00:43:49 --> 00:43:52
			to be left out of anger because
they wouldn't respond to Allah
		
00:43:52 --> 00:43:55
			subhanaw taala but you had no
right to leave. I didn't tell him
		
00:43:55 --> 00:43:55
			it's okay to leave.
		
00:43:56 --> 00:44:01
			So he was punished and he was
engulfed by the whale. But because
		
00:44:01 --> 00:44:05
			of that Allah subhanaw taala
extended the chance to his people
		
00:44:05 --> 00:44:08
			and for ourselves. And now who
eats the elephant Oh big when he
		
00:44:08 --> 00:44:11
			was sent back to the 100,000
people of Muslims of Nainoa. And
		
00:44:11 --> 00:44:14
			they and they all repented in the
end, they believed in money. So it
		
00:44:14 --> 00:44:16
			was them. So it works for
everybody, but just wanted to give
		
00:44:16 --> 00:44:19
			out the concept of audio here. So
women will go to law school, the
		
00:44:19 --> 00:44:21
			one who was raised their
provision, our lesson for them is
		
00:44:21 --> 00:44:28
			not high, slower. value. In fact,
may they spend me tell hula from
		
00:44:28 --> 00:44:30
			whatever it is Allah Subhana Allah
gave them
		
00:44:31 --> 00:44:35
			now you can leave Allahu nevsun
in. Allah does not hold you
		
00:44:35 --> 00:44:38
			accountable for more than what you
are. You weren't given. You can't
		
00:44:38 --> 00:44:40
			give from what you were not given.
		
00:44:43 --> 00:44:47
			It sounds like so. Sounds like
it's common. Sounds like it's
		
00:44:47 --> 00:44:51
			common sense, isn't it? Right?
Yeah, it isn't. There's most
		
00:44:51 --> 00:44:55
			people don't have. You can't give
from something you weren't given.
		
00:44:56 --> 00:44:59
			If you don't if you were not
taught something. You can't teach
		
00:44:59 --> 00:44:59
			it.
		
00:45:00 --> 00:45:04
			If you don't know something, you
can practice it. If you understand
		
00:45:04 --> 00:45:05
			something, you can talk about it.
		
00:45:07 --> 00:45:09
			Quite simple. If you know it, if
you're taught it, if you
		
00:45:09 --> 00:45:13
			understand it, if you are educated
about you can get from it. So
		
00:45:13 --> 00:45:18
			common sense. If everyone followed
this rule in life, like 90% of
		
00:45:18 --> 00:45:22
			conversations wouldn't happen 99%
of disagreements and arguments
		
00:45:22 --> 00:45:26
			wouldn't occur. If you don't know
what you're talking about. Yeah.
		
00:45:26 --> 00:45:27
			Just
		
00:45:29 --> 00:45:31
			Just be quiet. You don't know
you're talking about just be
		
00:45:31 --> 00:45:37
			quiet. Wallahi yesterday, like,
the world would be much less noisy
		
00:45:37 --> 00:45:40
			pay at place. Like the noise
levels in the world just come
		
00:45:40 --> 00:45:43
			down. You don't know you're
talking about unit study this talk
		
00:45:43 --> 00:45:43
			about?
		
00:45:44 --> 00:45:48
			Someone seems to be barking that
they know. Okay. I don't know
		
00:45:48 --> 00:45:50
			much. I think they're wrong. But I
don't know anything about this.
		
00:45:51 --> 00:45:53
			I'll go find someone who does. You
find someone who knows what
		
00:45:53 --> 00:45:56
			they're talking about? With a few
words, they silenced the person
		
00:45:56 --> 00:45:59
			who's barking about somebody don't
know what that we're done. We
		
00:45:59 --> 00:46:03
			don't need 50 people yelling,
doesn't do anything. Islam, for
		
00:46:03 --> 00:46:07
			example, is not a topic of
discussion. Right? This is for my
		
00:46:07 --> 00:46:10
			friends. It's not something to
discuss. Islam is something for
		
00:46:10 --> 00:46:13
			you to learn. You're gonna come
and learn it, you know, sit around
		
00:46:13 --> 00:46:18
			and discuss them. Discussions
happens amongst happen among
		
00:46:18 --> 00:46:22
			scholars. You sit down, and they
discuss because just like you
		
00:46:22 --> 00:46:25
			don't just sit down and discuss
medicine. You don't discuss Islam,
		
00:46:25 --> 00:46:29
			either. Unless you are properly
educated to sit down and discuss
		
00:46:29 --> 00:46:32
			the law. I don't talk about the
legal issues. I don't know. I
		
00:46:32 --> 00:46:35
			don't know anything. What Who am I
based on? What am I going to sit
		
00:46:35 --> 00:46:39
			down and talk about what is I
don't know. I can have questions.
		
00:46:39 --> 00:46:42
			I can have any other pet peeves.
But I don't have the ability to
		
00:46:42 --> 00:46:43
			discuss this because I don't know
it.
		
00:46:46 --> 00:46:49
			Maybe Maybe if you don't come from
an auto background. This sounds
		
00:46:49 --> 00:46:52
			weird to you. But let me speak
about my auto people. I am a
		
00:46:52 --> 00:46:57
			physician and I am Isha like no
brand. I sit within my family
		
00:46:57 --> 00:46:59
			gatherings. They talk about
medicine and they don't go to
		
00:46:59 --> 00:47:03
			Islam. I am never involved in
those conversations ever. They
		
00:47:03 --> 00:47:05
			talk about it. No one is
interested in asking me anything.
		
00:47:05 --> 00:47:08
			Like they'll sit down with it.
Take out all of their medicines.
		
00:47:08 --> 00:47:11
			Try this. Try this. Try this.
Tonight. They're all doctors
		
00:47:11 --> 00:47:13
			except the actual doctor. And
they're all humans except the
		
00:47:13 --> 00:47:16
			actual person who studied this. So
I actually find it now amusing
		
00:47:16 --> 00:47:18
			used to bother me when I was
younger. I love it. Now, I
		
00:47:18 --> 00:47:22
			actually say Please don't ask me.
Go on. Where's the popcorn? Let's
		
00:47:22 --> 00:47:25
			enjoy. At least you know, make it
fun. But there's this problem with
		
00:47:25 --> 00:47:29
			with we are where we want it. I
don't know if it's a doozy.
		
00:47:29 --> 00:47:31
			Awesome. Or I don't know what it
is. But people talk too much about
		
00:47:31 --> 00:47:34
			things they don't really
understand. Whether it's politics,
		
00:47:34 --> 00:47:37
			whether it's the law, whether it's
religion, whether it's medicine,
		
00:47:37 --> 00:47:39
			whether it's almost anything,
look, learn things, educate
		
00:47:39 --> 00:47:42
			yourself appropriately, then go
ahead and throw your hearts in the
		
00:47:43 --> 00:47:46
			in the arena and give your opinion
on so but if you have not been
		
00:47:46 --> 00:47:49
			properly educated, yeah, don't
throw find someone who knows what
		
00:47:49 --> 00:47:52
			they're talking about. And then,
you know, refer to their opinion
		
00:47:52 --> 00:47:54
			on the matter, life would be much
easier to live if that was the
		
00:47:54 --> 00:47:59
			case, much easier to live. Why now
you can live Allahu nevsun Ilana,
		
00:47:59 --> 00:48:02
			you're only responsible in your
life for that which Allah gave
		
00:48:02 --> 00:48:05
			you, give you from what you were
given? Were you given this? No,
		
00:48:05 --> 00:48:08
			don't give because you don't have
it to begin with. Talk to the
		
00:48:08 --> 00:48:10
			Shakila Jana, you don't have it.
You can't give it maybe don't
		
00:48:10 --> 00:48:13
			don't talk to me Don't make things
up as you go along. I sometimes
		
00:48:13 --> 00:48:17
			watch people make things up. Like
they walk up in the machine to ask
		
00:48:17 --> 00:48:19
			me questions. And I ask them, you
know, and they make something on
		
00:48:19 --> 00:48:22
			the spot. And I think it's amazing
because now you can watch the the
		
00:48:23 --> 00:48:26
			swiftness of the human brain
working quickly to have no debate.
		
00:48:26 --> 00:48:28
			It's something they're getting
smarter, because they they know
		
00:48:28 --> 00:48:31
			now not to give silly numbers that
are too brown give numbers that
		
00:48:31 --> 00:48:34
			are kind of broken, give like
76.3% It sounds more believable
		
00:48:34 --> 00:48:37
			than saying 80 or 90, right? And
if they but then they just pull it
		
00:48:37 --> 00:48:40
			out of the pocket. There's no, you
just made that up that they made
		
00:48:40 --> 00:48:44
			up, we became so good at this 90%
of Facebook,
		
00:48:45 --> 00:48:49
			you'll find a study, a Western
study or study from Harvard
		
00:48:49 --> 00:48:51
			miskeen Harvard will law he
miskeen Harvard the number of
		
00:48:51 --> 00:48:52
			studies that Muslims have
		
00:48:54 --> 00:48:58
			decided that he has made that this
version has made way more than the
		
00:48:58 --> 00:49:00
			papers that they've actually made.
Every time someone wants to prove
		
00:49:00 --> 00:49:03
			something. There is a study from
Harvard that just said where's the
		
00:49:03 --> 00:49:07
			study show me the study I dare you
to show me the study or anything
		
00:49:07 --> 00:49:10
			close to it or any study from any
anyone and it will cross the world
		
00:49:10 --> 00:49:14
			that talked about this never it
just we we need a way to to make a
		
00:49:14 --> 00:49:16
			point you don't need to make it
stand doesn't need that. By the
		
00:49:16 --> 00:49:20
			way. Islam does not need you to
make false points to convince
		
00:49:20 --> 00:49:23
			people of anything. If you need to
make false points to convince some
		
00:49:23 --> 00:49:26
			of the Hawk then it's not hot.
It's not hot, or the way you
		
00:49:26 --> 00:49:30
			understand it is not. It couldn't
be but you don't get it. Like you
		
00:49:30 --> 00:49:32
			don't get it. Yeah, it's helpful.
You just don't understand it.
		
00:49:32 --> 00:49:35
			Well, if you need to make
something up or lie or exaggerate.
		
00:49:35 --> 00:49:38
			Now to convince someone of
something that is true that either
		
00:49:38 --> 00:49:41
			is not true or you don't
understand it to be true. Like you
		
00:49:41 --> 00:49:44
			don't your comprehension of it is
not truthful. It could be the
		
00:49:44 --> 00:49:47
			truth but you just understand it
right? And that's important to
		
00:49:47 --> 00:49:50
			kind of comprehend here I know not
much to do with this. But I find
		
00:49:50 --> 00:49:54
			this idea to be like so the Quran
is filled with wisdom. It's filled
		
00:49:54 --> 00:49:58
			with wisdom after each time it
gives us a very specific
		
00:49:58 --> 00:49:59
			jurisprudence ruling and gives us
a little bit
		
00:50:00 --> 00:50:00
			Wisdom.
		
00:50:01 --> 00:50:05
			Now you can't live alone if son in
law, you're only responsible,
		
00:50:05 --> 00:50:07
			you're only accountable, you're no
camera for that which you are
		
00:50:07 --> 00:50:12
			given what and where you don't
just do well with that hand, even
		
00:50:12 --> 00:50:15
			though it may not win a lot more
than may not win as much as
		
00:50:15 --> 00:50:17
			someone else's hand will win. But
did you do your best with your
		
00:50:17 --> 00:50:20
			hand, like if you play your pen to
the best of your ability, tell us,
		
00:50:20 --> 00:50:23
			that's all you're ever asked to
do. Yeah, that's all you're ever
		
00:50:23 --> 00:50:26
			asked to do, you're never asked to
have the best hand, you're just
		
00:50:26 --> 00:50:29
			asked to do the best you can with
what you were given. And if you're
		
00:50:29 --> 00:50:32
			able to add to that you're able,
if you're able to be ambitious,
		
00:50:32 --> 00:50:35
			and move, uh, go ahead and do
that. But don't make things up.
		
00:50:35 --> 00:50:38
			And don't try don't live outside
of your means. And don't be more
		
00:50:38 --> 00:50:41
			than not act like you are more
than what you are, we all have to
		
00:50:41 --> 00:50:43
			learn to be this. This comes from
a simple the simple comprehension
		
00:50:43 --> 00:50:47
			of humbleness really are you just
don't, don't. Don't try to be
		
00:50:47 --> 00:50:50
			don't try to impress why you try
who you're trying to impress.
		
00:50:51 --> 00:50:54
			Let me tell you this, no one is
impressed. No matter what you do,
		
00:50:54 --> 00:50:57
			no one is really impressed. You
understand that people were
		
00:50:57 --> 00:51:00
			impressed by you are actually
hoping that you follow some point.
		
00:51:01 --> 00:51:04
			impressed when you're impressed by
someone, it's a reflex of weakness
		
00:51:04 --> 00:51:07
			most of the time, most of the
time, not all the time, not all
		
00:51:07 --> 00:51:10
			the time, if the proper
relationship is there of element,
		
00:51:10 --> 00:51:13
			Corbin Allah subhanaw taala
properly, can be different. But
		
00:51:13 --> 00:51:16
			most of the time, it's a field of
weakness, where you just you
		
00:51:16 --> 00:51:20
			couldn't beat them in the you
tried every trick in the book that
		
00:51:20 --> 00:51:22
			you got, you couldn't you couldn't
prove to yourself that you're
		
00:51:22 --> 00:51:25
			better. So you have to submit to
the fact that you're they're
		
00:51:25 --> 00:51:27
			better than us. You don't want
actually say that. So you're
		
00:51:27 --> 00:51:30
			you're impressed by them, but
you're just hoping at some point
		
00:51:30 --> 00:51:30
			that they
		
00:51:31 --> 00:51:33
			they slip and fall so that you
don't have to feel that way
		
00:51:33 --> 00:51:37
			anymore. So just stop, stop the
whole thing. You just feel, look
		
00:51:37 --> 00:51:40
			at things differently. And if you
if you stopped doing then you stop
		
00:51:40 --> 00:51:43
			trying to impress and try to be
better and try to be ahead and try
		
00:51:43 --> 00:51:46
			to be more than you are you live a
more healthy lifestyle you stop
		
00:51:46 --> 00:51:51
			like it's very tiring, very
tiring, to always be comparing and
		
00:51:51 --> 00:51:55
			trying to it's not helpful. And
then you actually have the mental
		
00:51:55 --> 00:51:58
			space and the mental clarity to
look at someone who is who can
		
00:51:58 --> 00:52:00
			help you who can teach you can
educate you can bring you closer
		
00:52:00 --> 00:52:04
			to Allah subhanaw taala and you
can be impressed in a good way as
		
00:52:04 --> 00:52:06
			the Sahaba were impressed with the
Prophet alayhi salatu salam not
		
00:52:06 --> 00:52:09
			like them when I 15 were impressed
by the Prophet alayhi salatu salam
		
00:52:09 --> 00:52:11
			someone obviously they're
impressed by him but not for the
		
00:52:11 --> 00:52:14
			right reason. They just couldn't
beat him. So they but the Sahaba
		
00:52:14 --> 00:52:18
			who loved him know they they saw
Him as their way to heaven. So
		
00:52:18 --> 00:52:21
			they wanted to be like him they
want him to be for him to fall
		
00:52:21 --> 00:52:24
			would be a big problem for him not
to do as well would hurt them
		
00:52:24 --> 00:52:30
			would make them sad. Locally Paula
Hoon Epson Ilana sagia alula
		
00:52:30 --> 00:52:34
			biodiversity user when it comes to
money Allah will make after every
		
00:52:34 --> 00:52:38
			difficulty there will be ease
there's not a general law within
		
00:52:38 --> 00:52:42
			life right. Now. Every difficulty
in life will be followed by an
		
00:52:42 --> 00:52:44
			ease unless you call death ease.
		
00:52:45 --> 00:52:49
			Then yes, sometimes some some
difficulties are terminal. Some
		
00:52:49 --> 00:52:52
			difficulties are terminal gonna
die at the end of it. So if you
		
00:52:52 --> 00:52:55
			call death ease, then yes, this
like this law applies, but not
		
00:52:56 --> 00:53:00
			really, it's more attached to the
concept of what you were given. If
		
00:53:00 --> 00:53:04
			you don't have a lot today. Allah
will time. Life is a cycle. You
		
00:53:04 --> 00:53:07
			don't have a lot today a little
bit more later. It doesn't stay
		
00:53:07 --> 00:53:10
			like that you don't. People who
are functional, they don't stay
		
00:53:10 --> 00:53:13
			for all their lives, they get
opportunities, they get things
		
00:53:13 --> 00:53:15
			change a little bit, they make
money, it's their job to Allah Who
		
00:53:15 --> 00:53:18
			bothering you. So so good from
what you got, this was the icing,
		
00:53:18 --> 00:53:22
			give from what you've got. If you
have a lot to give from the alot
		
00:53:22 --> 00:53:24
			that you have. So give a lot
because you have a lot. And if you
		
00:53:24 --> 00:53:25
			don't,
		
00:53:26 --> 00:53:29
			if you don't have a lot of
provision, then give from that
		
00:53:29 --> 00:53:31
			which Allah gave you. You are not
required to give from more than
		
00:53:31 --> 00:53:35
			what you have. Don't go take out
loans. Like if there is what you
		
00:53:35 --> 00:53:39
			got, you get it. That's why
another point for marriage here.
		
00:53:40 --> 00:53:45
			Financial compatibility, and
marriage is important. It's very
		
00:53:45 --> 00:53:48
			important. Just like religious
compatibility and social
		
00:53:48 --> 00:53:51
			compatibility, financial
compatibility matters.
		
00:53:53 --> 00:53:56
			Actually within the books of
Philip, it is one of the reasons
		
00:53:56 --> 00:54:01
			the lady can absolutely refuse her
the person who's coming to us for
		
00:54:01 --> 00:54:05
			HANA and the father as well. If he
cannot have her live at the same
		
00:54:05 --> 00:54:08
			standard the father is that he
does not have the right to ask for
		
00:54:08 --> 00:54:09
			her hand.
		
00:54:11 --> 00:54:14
			We we like those movies where
Johnny the poor guy asked for the
		
00:54:14 --> 00:54:18
			No, no, the poor guy shouldn't go
ask for the lady who was living in
		
00:54:18 --> 00:54:21
			a castle because they don't tell
us what happens after they get
		
00:54:21 --> 00:54:24
			married. They end the movie
they're conveniently the end the
		
00:54:24 --> 00:54:28
			movie when they get married. Yeah,
they go 15 years later, when she's
		
00:54:28 --> 00:54:32
			like took it up into Krakoa Kobe
took off. Yeah, this is I am
		
00:54:32 --> 00:54:35
			living I believe in like a dog and
my pet my dad would take care of
		
00:54:35 --> 00:54:38
			me there's a lady but she's fed up
with him and his poverty and the
		
00:54:38 --> 00:54:40
			lack of the standard of living
that you live in. Don't show us
		
00:54:40 --> 00:54:44
			that piece. Because it's not
appropriate. If he is the
		
00:54:44 --> 00:54:48
			provider, then he has to provide
for her a living that is standard,
		
00:54:48 --> 00:54:51
			the sharper image and the Hanafi
madhhab. They specifically in
		
00:54:51 --> 00:54:54
			their books point out that if she
had a maid he has to bring her a
		
00:54:54 --> 00:54:59
			maid by word like in the book by
word. If she had a maid in her
		
00:54:59 --> 00:55:00
			house, he has to bring
		
00:55:00 --> 00:55:02
			Number One. And if you can't then
go look for someone who has
		
00:55:02 --> 00:55:06
			financial, it's not people being
better and lesser no issue of
		
00:55:06 --> 00:55:09
			compatibility, because it makes no
sense. If she lived like this all
		
00:55:09 --> 00:55:12
			her life, why do you why are you
okay to expect that she's going to
		
00:55:12 --> 00:55:14
			live much less than this for the
rest of her life?
		
00:55:15 --> 00:55:19
			To think that love is enough, is,
again, naive and dumb. And it's
		
00:55:19 --> 00:55:22
			not worth the argument. It's
really not worth the conversation
		
00:55:22 --> 00:55:26
			outside of preschool and maybe any
teenager groups, we're not going
		
00:55:26 --> 00:55:30
			to have that as as functioning
adults. It's not enough. You need
		
00:55:30 --> 00:55:33
			to actually have some plan where
she's going to live, or she's
		
00:55:33 --> 00:55:36
			living in a house where she has a
little bit, but she's a minimalist
		
00:55:36 --> 00:55:39
			by nature. Like she's not living
on much like cheat. Yeah, she's
		
00:55:39 --> 00:55:41
			living in a very lavish ship,
		
00:55:42 --> 00:55:46
			a very rich, home and a customer.
She's not like she's a minimalist
		
00:55:46 --> 00:55:48
			person where she doesn't want
that, well, she wants to live
		
00:55:48 --> 00:55:51
			simplistically, that's a different
story. But if this is what she's
		
00:55:51 --> 00:55:54
			living, she's used to, then you
have to make sure there's some
		
00:55:54 --> 00:55:57
			financial compatibility. That's
why and the concept of nataka,
		
00:55:57 --> 00:55:59
			which is what I want to end with
today, when he says, Do you want
		
00:55:59 --> 00:56:03
			to miss it? This verse, the
scholars did not understand it
		
00:56:03 --> 00:56:07
			only for the concept of nataka
during the Edda, even though
		
00:56:07 --> 00:56:10
			that's what obviously it's talking
about, during the end of the
		
00:56:10 --> 00:56:13
			mandate responsible to take care
of his wife, he has to put her in
		
00:56:13 --> 00:56:16
			a house similar to his he has to
she has to live similar to what
		
00:56:16 --> 00:56:18
			she was living before, he has to
take care of her financially,
		
00:56:18 --> 00:56:21
			clothe her, feed her and keep her
safe. So he has to do during the
		
00:56:21 --> 00:56:23
			three months of the bed, and if
she's pregnant until the end of
		
00:56:23 --> 00:56:26
			her pregnancy, he owes her that.
But the concept of nataka and
		
00:56:26 --> 00:56:29
			Islam is also important to
marriage. Now, to go back to the
		
00:56:29 --> 00:56:32
			default I talked to you about when
we talked about the default being
		
00:56:32 --> 00:56:37
			the man is a provider, he his
wealth, he makes it it goes to his
		
00:56:37 --> 00:56:40
			household to feed and clothe and
put a roof on their house and take
		
00:56:40 --> 00:56:43
			care of their needs. And the wife
takes care of the household. But
		
00:56:43 --> 00:56:46
			what about the wife herself, she
gets something called enough aka
		
00:56:46 --> 00:56:49
			Islamically speaking, she gets
enough AKA, which is around
		
00:56:49 --> 00:56:53
			roughly 10% of what the man makes
roughly 10%, a little bit less a
		
00:56:53 --> 00:56:56
			bit more depending on the norm of
the time, that wealth is not for
		
00:56:56 --> 00:57:01
			her food, or her clothing. No,
that is just extra wealth that
		
00:57:01 --> 00:57:05
			goes to her pocket, so that she
builds wealth. Now, if you come
		
00:57:05 --> 00:57:08
			from a traditional Muslim
background, go ask your mother
		
00:57:08 --> 00:57:11
			father or your mother about this,
they will tell you, the Sheikh
		
00:57:11 --> 00:57:13
			will tell you this idiot, we've
never heard this in all our lives,
		
00:57:13 --> 00:57:16
			we've been out living happy for 50
years, it's never been the case.
		
00:57:16 --> 00:57:20
			And because people were living so
poorly in the in the middle of the
		
00:57:20 --> 00:57:24
			last century, meaning the 50s and
60s and 70s and 80s and got
		
00:57:24 --> 00:57:27
			married, they are bores, they are
both dirt poor, they had nothing.
		
00:57:27 --> 00:57:31
			So they built from the ground up,
and all the money was put in one
		
00:57:31 --> 00:57:35
			place. And everyone pulled out the
money and felt me now just fine.
		
00:57:35 --> 00:57:39
			The problem with that system. The
problem with it, is that what
		
00:57:39 --> 00:57:42
			happens if a divorce occurs, and
she's been not home taking care of
		
00:57:42 --> 00:57:46
			the kids all this time, and he's
been making wealth. And there's
		
00:57:46 --> 00:57:49
			actually more wealth now than
there was before. What does she
		
00:57:49 --> 00:57:51
			get? Aside from her mom out of
them out? When it comes to his
		
00:57:51 --> 00:57:55
			mom, by the way, he's not even
Jonnie an authentic Islamic idea.
		
00:57:56 --> 00:57:58
			Muhammad is one thing, here's them
out, because people were poor,
		
00:57:58 --> 00:58:02
			it's like, okay, you can't pay it
all up once here, pay half of it
		
00:58:02 --> 00:58:05
			upfront, pay the next half
throughout your life, you owe it
		
00:58:05 --> 00:58:08
			if you if you die, it's a Dane.
And if you divorce you owe it to
		
00:58:08 --> 00:58:11
			her at the end of the settlements,
you owe it. Mostly there's no
		
00:58:11 --> 00:58:14
			money there. And he wants them out
of Mosa go go back if you're if
		
00:58:14 --> 00:58:16
			you're my age, ask what your
mother's mother was like what I
		
00:58:16 --> 00:58:19
			don't know, a feather. And I just
thought there's something
		
00:58:19 --> 00:58:22
			something, something has no Well,
yeah, nothing at all. So it's very
		
00:58:22 --> 00:58:24
			simple. So when she gets divorced
or something, hello, then what
		
00:58:24 --> 00:58:26
			happens? She ends up with nothing.
Now the reason she's ending up
		
00:58:26 --> 00:58:30
			with nothing is because the
father, the husband never gave her
		
00:58:30 --> 00:58:32
			enough AKA, because the wife is
like I don't need to have a call
		
00:58:32 --> 00:58:34
			we're happy and Hamdulillah I
don't want to I'm where you know,
		
00:58:35 --> 00:58:37
			you have to have, if you're not
going to take the Nevada then that
		
00:58:37 --> 00:58:39
			has to be something that's
understood is going to be
		
00:58:39 --> 00:58:43
			calculated at the end of the
marriage. So what the Canadian law
		
00:58:43 --> 00:58:45
			does, or the American law does
here on either the Western law in
		
00:58:45 --> 00:58:50
			terms of divorce, where they they
break it down into 5050. It's not
		
00:58:50 --> 00:58:54
			that off of what Islamic law is,
it's not that off. It's better
		
00:58:54 --> 00:58:58
			than nothing. But it's not fair
either. 50% is obviously a little
		
00:58:58 --> 00:59:02
			bit too much. But But at first to
be nothing is I've no 50 is better
		
00:59:02 --> 00:59:05
			than zero, because at least you're
not there's actually occurring
		
00:59:05 --> 00:59:08
			here, but there Islamic way is for
there to be enough in Africa
		
00:59:08 --> 00:59:11
			roughly is 10% of what he makes.
So if he makes 100,000 10,000 goes
		
00:59:11 --> 00:59:15
			to her and that 90,000 Not his
that 90,000 is for the mortgage,
		
00:59:15 --> 00:59:18
			and the clothing and the food and
the trips and all that stuff and
		
00:59:18 --> 00:59:21
			whatever, whatever extra ends up
in his pocket, which is usually
		
00:59:21 --> 00:59:24
			nothing, which is usually almost
nothing the man, you'll end up
		
00:59:24 --> 00:59:28
			with nothing. And that's just the
normal of things. Unless you're a
		
00:59:28 --> 00:59:29
			big earner, you're earning a lot,
you're
		
00:59:31 --> 00:59:32
			gonna make a lot of money. That's
a different story. But for the
		
00:59:32 --> 00:59:35
			majority of us, there's not much
is going to be left. But that NEFA
		
00:59:35 --> 00:59:38
			is like is a is for her. I mean,
how was he going to live if he
		
00:59:38 --> 00:59:41
			ends up being divorced? Because if
we don't make it if he doesn't get
		
00:59:41 --> 00:59:46
			enough, okay, then what happens is
that his her marriage to him
		
00:59:46 --> 00:59:50
			becomes a leverage chip in his
hand. He has a chip to bargain
		
00:59:50 --> 00:59:53
			with now that you have nothing.
You've been married to me for 15
		
00:59:53 --> 00:59:56
			years you have three kids that
need you. You have no skills you
		
00:59:56 --> 00:59:59
			have been working for all these
years. You have no money. I have
		
00:59:59 --> 01:00:00
			all of it. So now
		
01:00:00 --> 01:00:03
			Now you need me. And because you
need me now I will mistreat you.
		
01:00:03 --> 01:00:05
			And that's not how it's supposed
to be. That's not how we're
		
01:00:05 --> 01:00:08
			supposed to be styling it. There's
enough AKA, there's another car
		
01:00:08 --> 01:00:10
			that he owes her if she's not
working, she's not making her own
		
01:00:10 --> 01:00:14
			money, even if she is, by the way,
like even if she's working, right,
		
01:00:14 --> 01:00:17
			and the money that she makes is
hers. And the money that he makes
		
01:00:17 --> 01:00:20
			us for the house, and she's taking
care of the household with her
		
01:00:20 --> 01:00:24
			work with her own physical
presence. And with her wealth, He
		
01:00:24 --> 01:00:27
			still owes her enough AKA, and
that's a part of Islamic law. This
		
01:00:27 --> 01:00:30
			is not a disputable part of
Islamic law where different metabo
		
01:00:30 --> 01:00:32
			different opinions No, no, it is a
fully agreed upon. It's just
		
01:00:32 --> 01:00:35
			people don't do it. Because they
were too poor. Like the guy was
		
01:00:35 --> 01:00:39
			making barely enough money to feed
him her and keep a roof over their
		
01:00:39 --> 01:00:42
			heads. There was no there was no
space for enough aka like, you
		
01:00:42 --> 01:00:46
			can't have enough. If the amount
of money the man is making is not
		
01:00:46 --> 01:00:50
			meeting basic needs. Right? If the
amount the man is making is not
		
01:00:50 --> 01:00:54
			meeting basic needs, then there's
no place for enough aka obviously
		
01:00:54 --> 01:00:57
			because they're not me. But once
they have more than their basic
		
01:00:57 --> 01:01:01
			needs, then the network was a part
of this agreement. If he's going
		
01:01:01 --> 01:01:05
			to forfeit her enough, that she
has to have, she has to be someone
		
01:01:05 --> 01:01:07
			of wealth or she's working herself
meaning a will ad can afford to
		
01:01:07 --> 01:01:10
			fit her enough aka she's I don't
want enough aka from you because
		
01:01:10 --> 01:01:13
			she has her own wealth or she's
working. But if he's not,
		
01:01:14 --> 01:01:17
			what should happen at the end, if
there's a divorce that occurs is
		
01:01:17 --> 01:01:21
			that it should be calculated. And
it should be removed from his
		
01:01:21 --> 01:01:24
			wealth and given to her so for
example, they divorced less I'm
		
01:01:24 --> 01:01:28
			Hala. And he owes her maybe $2,000
from them all of them or they give
		
01:01:28 --> 01:01:32
			her that $2,000. But he cheated.
She didn't work all throughout her
		
01:01:32 --> 01:01:35
			marriage. And he didn't give her
enough. Ah, it's not that hard.
		
01:01:35 --> 01:01:39
			How long we made for 15 years. All
right, what was how do you make
		
01:01:39 --> 01:01:42
			How much are you making the first
year? I made 65,000? All right.
		
01:01:43 --> 01:01:47
			What's 10% of that seven, you
calculate. And you give her that
		
01:01:47 --> 01:01:53
			wealth, in my opinion is more fair
than nothing. And it's more fair
		
01:01:53 --> 01:01:57
			than, you know, dividing 50% of
the wealth, especially if he's a
		
01:01:57 --> 01:02:00
			bigger like people who are men who
are making the hundreds of
		
01:02:00 --> 01:02:03
			millions of dollars, we have to be
reasonable with what it is that
		
01:02:03 --> 01:02:07
			people are getting, they should
still a percentage wise, but Islam
		
01:02:07 --> 01:02:10
			doesn't seem to be zero, as many
of our marriages end these days,
		
01:02:10 --> 01:02:14
			which is why a lot of women like I
don't want an Islamic end of my
		
01:02:14 --> 01:02:17
			marriage. But the reason that they
say that is because the Nevada is
		
01:02:17 --> 01:02:20
			not being talked about, because
we're not discussing this piece at
		
01:02:20 --> 01:02:23
			the beginning that she Oh is old
enough, aka, if she forfeits it,
		
01:02:23 --> 01:02:27
			that's her choice. But she has to
be very, she has to verbally for
		
01:02:27 --> 01:02:30
			finish, it has to have some other
way of making her own wealth, or
		
01:02:30 --> 01:02:33
			he has to be so poor, that there's
nothing, you're not making
		
01:02:33 --> 01:02:38
			anything and in addition to what's
covering their basic needs. But if
		
01:02:38 --> 01:02:41
			they're covering their basic
needs, she is old enough. And
		
01:02:41 --> 01:02:43
			that's why I want to end with that
peace in Charlottetown in terms of
		
01:02:43 --> 01:02:45
			understanding the rest of the
verses and philosophers will
		
01:02:45 --> 01:02:49
			recite Charlottetown and next
week, we're are very spiritual.
		
01:02:49 --> 01:02:52
			And the reason that they're
spiritual and they're filled with
		
01:02:52 --> 01:02:56
			warnings is because of the norm of
the time, meaning the verses or
		
01:02:56 --> 01:02:59
			the Afghan the rulings that you
listen to me talk about within
		
01:02:59 --> 01:03:02
			this sort of up till this moment,
you don't, you're not able to
		
01:03:02 --> 01:03:06
			actually appreciate them, unless I
explain to you what the norm of
		
01:03:06 --> 01:03:09
			the time what they were revealed
was. So when I explained to you
		
01:03:09 --> 01:03:13
			next time, the norm of the time,
and then that these rulings did,
		
01:03:13 --> 01:03:15
			you'll understand why these verses
are like you either follow this or
		
01:03:15 --> 01:03:18
			you're going to be you're going to
be punished. Because that's not
		
01:03:18 --> 01:03:22
			how the the norm was the norm was
not women did not get any of the
		
01:03:22 --> 01:03:25
			rights that were explained in sort
of philosophy at all. So if you
		
01:03:25 --> 01:03:28
			look at to the prophets in the
sutras in terms of the theme, the
		
01:03:28 --> 01:03:32
			theme, it could be marriage or it
could be the rights of women in
		
01:03:32 --> 01:03:35
			Islam, which is why I think is
probably even a better a better
		
01:03:36 --> 01:03:38
			way to put it all in with that
insurance. Michael panics will let
		
01:03:38 --> 01:03:40
			you learn to stop flow to break
masala Hua