Adnan Rajeh – Monday Tafseer – 65 Part 2 Surat Al-Talaq 2-5
AI: Summary ©
The speakers discuss the importance of understanding the surah and the morality of certain behavior in marriage, as it is a topic that is heavily debated and controversial. They stress the need for more women to be empowered, avoiding sex and working outside of the household, and testing and testimony in marriage contracts. The law of divorce is a three-cycle cycle, with a period of three months after divorce and an expected period of three months before marriage, and women are expected to wait for three more cycles before being born. The end of a cycle is when a woman is giving birth, following proper rules is crucial to avoiding harm, and showing mindfulness towards Allah and faith in the creator is crucial to avoid mistakes.
AI: Summary ©
This evening,
we'll continue from where we left off last
week in the tafsir of Surat Al Talaq,
and we stopped at aya number
2. I didn't get very far. I did
a long,
introduction
about the concept of divorce and and marriage
in general, and I refer you back to
that talk a little bit if you want
to hear, you know, maybe maybe wrap your
head around a couple of concepts so that
this Surah becomes a little bit more relevant
to you.
In order for us to understand the Quran,
you also have to understand the mindset that
that the Sahaba and the, recipients of the
Quran were in when this was the topic
was talked about. That's the best way if
you understand the Quran is is you understand
how the people who are listening to it
understood the topic that was being addressed. So
if you understand that, it becomes much easier
for you to comprehend why the Quran talks
about certain things in the in the way
that it talks about them.
And
talaq is a very is a very,
controversial topic. It's a when I say controversial,
I mean, historically,
amongst faiths, the concept of divorce has always
been heavily debated. Like, some faiths,
permit permit it and some of them do
not. And, there's always been a lot of
rulings surrounding it. And there's always been taboo
kind of yeah. That that affiliated with those
who who who who, who fall into it.
And Islam has a very balanced approach to
what this is going to look like. Talaq
is sometimes a necessity. When it is a
necessity, it should be allowed to occur. And
when it occurs, it should occur according to
the rulings of Allah
and the ethics and values and principles of
the deen. Meaning what this surah is going
to focus on. The surah is going to
give us the fiqh, meaning the the jurisprudence
piece, meaning what you're supposed to do, how
you're supposed to perform,
it also gonna focus on the the ethics
that are that are going to be required,
within the act of divorce and regarding marriage,
Yani, in general.
And
we can't
deny that we're at a point in our
history as Muslims
where we are the family unit is
I don't like the word under attack because
I don't think that's the right word, but
it's it's much less
solid maybe than it was a few
decades prior or century before.
We're just something that Muslims always had,
it was it was always an edge for
for Muslims in general that they just had
stronger
family units. They they were able to hold
on to their marriages, yeah, for for longer
periods. You had less rate the the divorces
of the the the rates of divorce were
much lower in Muslim countries and amongst Muslim
people. The families were much more stable.
There were less there was less, you know,
count contrary to the common belief of domestic
abuse, there's way less domestic abuse amongst Muslim
families than there are I mean, outside outside
of Muslim families. I know that that's something
that may come to a surprise to me
in view because of how things are run,
but it's not even close. Men,
Islam men don't drink, and they don't gamble.
They don't do certain things. That that that
brings down the amount of domestic abuse by
at least 40 to 45% because that's yeah.
Those are the leading causes of domestic abuse
is the lack of
is is is the, consumption of substances of
some sort
and extreme debt that comes from bad habits.
And, obviously, there are people who just, yeah,
you have, you have the wrong have the
wrong conceptualization
of, of, of human rights. But but in
general, this
Muslim family, like, we're stable. And we're running
into a time where that's not the case.
I mean, we're slowly
approaching if not fully equal to the to
the, the the the standard universal rates of
of divorce.
In addition, we're also
Muslim people are getting married much later than
they ever did before, like, much later than
they ever did before, which is also a
problem. Like, very late marriages don't do as
well. So when when when you if you
want to study the, you know, the concept
of marriage academically, you wanna walk step out
of, you know, the the, framework of religion
for a moment and just look at it
academically. You'll find certain there are pretty certain
pieces of information that are very important to
understand. And that reflect and mirror a lot
of what the what the Quran has been
teaching us. And how the prophet alaihi sallam
looked by looked at things. Extremely
young marriages don't work very well. The reason
they don't work very well is the lack
of maturity.
It's maturity, it's not age. It's maturity, it's
not age. That's the problem. It's not the
number. It's the it's the amount of maturity
that these people have. My grandfather married when
he was 13 years old. My grandmother was
14. They were very happy for the short
life that they lived, that they were happy.
And they had 10 children. And the reason
that they got married and the the the
marriage actually worked is because they, at that
age, my grandfather was working. Like he was
not I mean, a 13 year old. My
son's gonna be 13 next year. Yeah. I
need,
13
13 today, the number today, what a a
boy is able to do is not similar
to what it was a 100 years ago.
It's very different, but they don't function the
same way. They don't they don't have the
same degree of maturity. Same thing goes for
for women. Now this is not for us
to beat on the current, generation to say
that they're not good. No. No. Any generation
functions only to the limits of the generation
before them allow them to. So if you
don't like how kids function today, then really
focus your your your unlike you're not liking
or your hatred towards their parents and the
generation of their parents. Because kids kids are
kids. The only kids can only go as
far as the communities of society and and
and families allow them to go. Kids don't
make up the rules. Kids can barely figure
out what the rules are. So for us
to hold kids accountable for how they are
today is, like, very very ignorant. Yeah. It's
it's not correct. Kids are the way their
parents make them.
So if you don't like how kids are
today, then don't like the generation before them
and the one before the they're the problem.
So it's about maturity. So people who get
married very immature, it doesn't work out. Right?
And late marriages very late marriages have the
same rate of divorce. Like, it's but it's
there is a sweet spot today that that
we have been able to find within the
early to mid twenties. This is the sweet
spot for both men and women and for
both men and women.
And the fact that we are pushing this
always into early thirties or that's a problem.
It's a problem for men
for a re for a number of reasons.
Men need companionship when they are
struggling.
They need companionship during their difficult years so
that they can appreciate
the person beside them. Meaning, you have to
get it it's important. I'm not saying you
have to do this, but this is where
yeah. This is the sweet spot. A man
gets married when he's not ready yet.
Meaning,
he's not fully
connected. He doesn't have a full social network
and he's not rich.
He's mature psychologically. He's mature financially. Meaning, he's
able to work and support. And he's mature
religiously so he understands the the rights. Yeah?
But he's not he has not owned the
world yet. He does not
if he gets married at that point, he's
a little bit more difficult because his his
need is is dropping. Like, what he needs
from his wife is not is not as
much as what he would have needed maybe
10 years before. The man has to need
has to need, like, in on different levels
for it to work. And the woman
needed to get married where
during the years where she is capable of
bearing children in a comfortable biological manner. Comfortably.
You see when we say comfortably, meaning
ladies can can can bear with children till
until they're 40 or on men until menopause
occurs. But later you get, the less comfortable
it is for her.
Biologically,
hormonally, and psychologically, it's not as comfortable. It's
not as easy. It's difficult on the body.
It's difficult on the psyche. It actually is
very, like, when you look even you study
medicine medically speaking, we we we ask medical
professionals the the sweet spot for between 19
and 25
for women to have to bear children. When
25 to 30, it's a little bit less.
And after 30 to 40, this is a
Yaniyah zone where you want to make sure
that there's very, very close follow-up and that
there's much higher risk higher risks of of,
Yani,
the,
chromosomal
abnormalities and and different, the deficiencies and problems.
So there are sweet spots for when marriage
actually works better for for both for both
genders. And as most of you always know
that, which is why marriage has always happened
during these years. Always during these years this
has been the case. And now we're we
have left that window. That window is much
more
it's it's much less common today. Like, young,
healthy,
capable young men are in their thirties and
aren't married yet. And young, healthy, capable women
are 27 and 28 and still
I have not this is this is an
issue.
Now the reason I talk about this is
because Surat Al Talaq,
as much as it's explained to us, the
Surat Al Talaq within this within this cluster
of Surah is talking to us about the
domestic,
rulings, the rulings of family, the ruling rulings
of of spouses.
Named after the most difficult of them all,
which is divorce. It's it's it's the nightmare
of all of the incidents, the occurrences that
can happen when a marriage occurs.
But Tlaloc is going to talk about so
Tlaloc is going to talk about aspects of
marriage as well. Especially
when we go to the second second page
that are important. And I think if we
were to understand
what the obligations are within a marriage, then
people are more likely to get married at
this right time with the proper expectation. Like,
if you understood a little bit more of
what it is that you're required to do
in a marriage, both genders understand it, and
they're more likely to actually make it work
once they enter into this union.
When I find the majority of people, they
talk about marriage. They don't exactly understand
what they're getting into, what they're what what
they're responsible for. What they're responsible for. I'm
gonna give you a little bit of an
idea before we continue the citation. Every every
session I'll,
you know, insert a little bit of talk
about marriage Islamically so that you have that
picture at the end.
There is a default within Islamic law when
it comes to marriage. There's a default.
This default does not necessarily have to be
followed, but this default is there in case
the topic is not discussed in-depth.
The default
is that the man is responsible
for the financial
well-being of the family.
Fully responsible
for the financial well-being of this family. He
is for sure the provider. That's by default.
Right? Can that change? That can change, but
that is the default.
And the woman is responsible for the well-being
of the household.
For the household, meaning for the household to
be safe, for the doors to be closed,
for nothing to be
to be stolen, people not to enter without
permission, to take care of the children, to
make sure that there's enough food and that
there's enough now for the
the man is responsible for the existence of
the money that is going to be required
to buy the food, and the lady is
responsible to make sure that the food is
going to turn into something that's edible.
That's the default.
That can change.
That can change. It doesn't have to be
like that, but that's the default.
The default that can't change is that the
man is the protector.
So you're a protector provider by default. Protector,
you're always the protector. Nothing can change that.
Even if the one is like, I don't
want you to protect me. It's not up
to you. This is my job. I'm going
to protect you whether you like it or
not. My life is is significantly less valuable
than yours, any situation of danger. Right? The
Titanic goes down. She's on the raft. I
am playing the violin as it goes down.
That's how it's going to be. So it's
always going to be. There's no there's no
clause on the contract of marriage where I
get on the raft and she stays behind
ever. And if a woman is like, no.
I don't want your protection, then don't get
married. There's something wrong here. There's something wrong.
Your obligation as a man is to be
the protector. Provider, that's the default.
But that can be there can be a
stipulation in the contract that can change that.
We can we there can be a there
can be a difference there where in terms
of, like, both of you are going to
contribute to this financially.
That can be there. But when that happens,
when the woman
is going to be responsible
financially for the household, similar to the man
or with a certain percentage
as the in contrast to the man, then
the man is going to take on a
certain amount of her responsibilities.
This is fairness.
I am
by default, I am responsible for the, the
financial well-being of this family. She's responsible for
the household. If she starts contributing financially to
the family, well, how much is she she
contributing?
50%?
If she's putting in 50% of taking care
of this household financially, I'm responsible for 50%
of the well-being of the household.
If she's putting 50% of the money, I
had to put in put in 50% of
the work
by, I mean, by by by the command
of god. This is an issue of of
of of fairness and justice within marriage.
She can't continue to be responsible
for the cooking and the cleaning and the
kids and the household and all that and
put in 50%.
That means you are doing 25% of the
job and is doing 75%, and no one
lives happy that way. Meaning, she will notice
that you're a deadbeat, and with time, she
will stop seeing the value of having you
around.
And it'll be your fault because you didn't
understand
that you have to make sure that we're
both doing something similar. They're equally important. They
are equal. They're 5050. You bringing in the
money and she taking care of the household,
that's 5050.
No one's better than anyone here. Right? No
man can walk in and say, what have
you been doing all day? No. She's she's
working similar to you. She can't say the
same the opposite to you either. She can't
say what you've been doing. No.
Providing for the household and maintaining the household
are 50%, 50%, which puts together what the
actual life is going to be.
So anytime you change any of that, anytime
you do you stipulate in the contract is
gonna be different, then you have to make
sure you balance it out again. You're gonna
balance this out a little bit. And make
sure that you
do. Make sure that you do. Now the
default, if we're not gonna change the default,
you're responsible for
as a man, you make the money, your
money goes to the nafakah of your wife.
Your wife is entitled
to up to 10%
of what you make for herself.
Money that she pockets. That's aside from clothing
her,
feeding her, and putting a roof on top
of her head. 10%. And it's not a
specific amount. It's a percentage, if you can
afford it. If you can't afford it, meaning
what you make is barely enough to feed
each other, then that's the case. But if
you can afford it, then she gets a
little bit more. There's a little bit more
that goes that goes to her pocket, for
sure. Right? And then the rest of it
goes to the household and whatever is, whatever
is
left over is yours.
Whatever money the woman makes within
the household, that is her own.
If she makes money, that's her money.
You don't get to access that money. That's
not yours. The concept of a joint bank
account, if you're a lady married or going
to be married, make sure when you talk
about joint bank accounts that there's clarity.
Right? There's clarity, because if you're gonna put
all the money in one pool and then
use that money ticket, then you have to
figure out how much are you putting in.
How much is he making? It's a very
simple calculation. How much is he making? How
much are you making? See the percentage. Well,
I am contributing 30%
of the income to this household. He owes
30%
of the responsibilities.
The opposite there's also problematic. If the man
is working, bringing a 100% of the income
and doing 50% of the work, that's when
cheating happens.
That's the man that later on goes and
marries another lady, Basir. And then when when
he dies, there's end up 2 more, another
family that popped up from where Because he
was doing 75% of the work. He get
disgruntled, and he's not happy anymore. So he
looks elsewhere. It's very important. Human beings are
simple creatures. We sense injustice quickly, so you
have to make sure it doesn't exist. There's
nothing wrong with this. There's nothing there's nothing
wrong with this. And my advice to you,
ladies put your fingers in your ears for
a moment. Listen to me very carefully, Ebony.
Whatever money your wife makes,
leave the money with her.
Don't take her money. Keep her money with
her.
I don't care.
Go if you need to work 3 jobs,
work 3 jobs. The money she makes is
hers. As long as she's taking care of
the household and she's not, you know, breaking
down any of her of her obligations inside
the household, she makes more money, that's hers.
Don't touch that money.
Don't touch her money.
Women don't know how to share money with
men. They don't.
Just like you don't know how to go
in the house and do work in the
house. When your husband does the laundry, he
carries that with him all week long. He
feels entitled to beyond what you could imagine
for doing the laundry for one day or
for maybe cooking a meal. He feels so
entitled for doing that because that's not what
he's He's not good at sharing that stuff.
He he he's not good at it. Right?
So if you allow him to do it,
you have to make sure that there's gonna
be compensation. Women, when they make money, they
don't like sharing it with men.
They don't they don't like sharing it with
their men. I'm telling you, well, why? She
could love you as
love you as he loves the moon. She
could be in love with you. If she
is spending her money on you, then you
are digging yourself an early grave. It's not
gonna work. I say this, and I carry
it to you, Omar Khayana. I'm I'm saying
it that even if my sisters don't like
it, this is the reality. There's nothing wrong
with the women. This is just how we
are we're we're just a little bit different.
Men aren't very good at doing household favors.
And when they do household favors, they feel
very they're very entitled for return. And women
feel the same when they take when they
work for money and they spend it on
you. They spend it on when you should
be spending it. They feel the same way.
So if you want to do this right,
no. You work, make the money, spend it
on the household. Wherever she makes extra,
that's hers.
Now if she's working too much, meaning she
can't take care of the her her household
yeah. And, she can't take care of her
of her of her household duties. Right? So
then she uses the money that she makes
to fulfill her household do her household duties.
Meaning, she's like, well, I I can't be
here all day, so I'm gonna work. She's
responsible for taking care of the household, so
she can bring in a nanny to do
it from her own money. That's her responsibility.
Right? Now if you're gonna pay for it,
that means you guys have some other financial
arrangement that that you have in your bank
account. What I'm trying to say is when
it comes to money, make sure the arrangement
is fair and make sure that it is
clear.
If not, go always go back to the
default. What's the default? A lady can always
say,
I am not going to work another day
in my life. I'm staying home.
No matter what you arranged on the contract
beforehand, she can default to that anytime.
And you are responsible for the full financial
load of the household.
A man at any point in his marriage
will say, I am no longer responsible for
any maintenance of the household. Like, I'm not
gonna stay home. I'm not gonna take care
of the kids. I'm not gonna cook. I'm
not gonna I'm not doing any of that
stuff. I'm gonna just work outside. He can
default to that at any point he wants
in his life. The default, you can always
go back to. You guys can agree to
the to to to to the contrary. You
can agree to something different. No problem. You
can agree to it, but you can always
default. Go back to the default. You can
always go back. You can always just default
to the to the origin. The origin is
you're responsible for the maintenance of the household.
I'm responsible for the protection and the provision
of this household.
And that's the easiest of all. But I
know people for example, 2 physicians are married.
Yeah? It doesn't work.
It's going to be a different arrangement for
sure. They're gonna have a different arrangement. They're
gonna put in it's gonna be 5050 putting
in the money, and then 5050 all of
the the the obligations, because they both have
very demanding
lifestyles. Sometimes it's different. She's a surgeon and
he
is a blogger.
Something he does something where he doesn't have
to doesn't have to go outside. He can
he can work on on a computer. Right?
Yeah. So they can they can they can
rearrange the the obligation. Okay. You're taking you're
doing fit you're you're doing 50% of the
finances. I'll move 50% of the household or
the opposite.
And you're the one who's providing for the
household for for us, and I'll and I'll
basically take care of, of the whole of
of of maintaining the main maintaining the household.
All of these arrangements are acceptable, but understand
what the default is. And if you play
around with the default, if you change things
around, make sure
that it is fair.
What I see the most what I see
the most when I see when I see
divorce and I'm not, a marriage specialist, and
I'm not a counselor, a marriage counselor. But
when I do see marriage, and I see
whether I like it or not because it
comes my way,
what I see
is one of the 2 spouses
has been carrying more than their weight throughout
the marriage and are now finally
tired.
The other spouse cannot understand,
why this one doesn't want to be married
anymore.
Like, they cannot, for their life for the
life of them understand why she doesn't wanna
be with them anymore.
And he is like, I don't know why
she doesn't wanna be with me anymore. And
then you bring the facts and you break
it down, and you show she's been carrying
65 to 70% of the weight of this
marriage, and you've been carrying much less. So
she's tired, and she doesn't see the value
of having you anymore.
That's why she doesn't want this. Or the
opposite.
Or the opposite. Do you have a man
who doesn't wanna be married anymore because she's
not he's not getting what he needs. He's
carrying the financial, and he's doing extra in
the midst of all of it. He's paying
for a nanny. He's paying for this, and
he doesn't see what she's doing. Like, he
can't he can't figure out what value she's
bringing to the table. Now you can sit
down there and say, but if they love
you, you can you can go ahead and
say that stuff. You say it. I won't
listen until you're done then I'll kick I'll
come back again. I'll continue talking to you
pragmatically. I'll just I'll just zone you out.
I do talk the nonsense of romance and
and go ahead. When you're done, come back
to the rear world and I'll talk to
you practically again. Love only exists when people
feel that they're being treated fairly. Love can
only exist
if they feel that they're being treated fairly.
It can't exist. You can't love your partner
if you feel that they're a deadbeat. If
you feel they're not doing their job or
not carrying their way, you can't love them.
It's it's hard. It's impossible. You love them
when you feel they're doing more than what
you expect,
which leaves you to do more what they
expect, and then love starts to grow and
grow and grow. So if we know our
rights, if you know that he like I
said, what's what's the example of an a
a a good marriage? You you remember it.
The Hajji at home,
she sees her husband as
May all this. And he works all day.
He comes in so tired. He feels she
feel that this man, he works hard. He
takes care of us. He's very grateful.
And you speak to him, and he says
the house has no value without her. I
come home. I I can't I I can't
go. If she's not at home, there's no
there's no value to this home. This whole
house is her. I don't want my kids.
I want her. She takes care of me.
She he feels the value of what she
brings to the table. And because they feel
that way, they're grateful to one another, The
marriage is strong. When that's not the case,
when he comes home, he's like, what exactly
take time to explain to me exactly what
it is that you do in this institution
of our marriage. Or when she sits there
and she looks at him, you know, he's
gaming, for example, and she's bringing in 50%
and he's playing games all night. What exactly?
Why am I with you again? Like, what's
the what's the
and and then you try and bring forward,
well, no. You've we fell in love and,
like, no. No. No. No. No. Yeah. I
ain't. No. No. That's not how this works.
It's not how this works. Yes. There's an
initial chemistry.
There is some affection that happens upfront. But
if you don't do this right, if clarity
is not there, if justice and fairness is
not there, if there's no gratitude because people
are going out of their way to help
someone else, then the marriage is going to
collapse, and people are going to be disgruntled.
They're going to feel very upset.
So make sure and then it leads to
Tulaq.
It leads to Tulaq.
And most of Talaq comes from this. It's
avoidable. That's my problem, is that 90% of
Talaq is avoidable.
It's there's 10% that's not avoidable.
You have you have Zayd and you have
Zayd.
Zayd ibn Harith adopted son of the prophet,
alayhis salatu, some of them highest ranked men
that ever lived.
Zayn
were the highest ranked women that ever lived.
They couldn't make it work.
Sometimes people are just not similar.
Because not they're not compatible. It's it's not
working out. They they can't figure out even
though everyone's doing their part, they just can't
make it work. Right? So they but 90%
of divorces today are just an issue of
lack of understanding of what the obligations are.
Or or
assuming that you are owed more than what
you actually are owed or assuming that you're
expected to do less than than what what
you're actually what you should be doing.
And, obviously, the problem of control, but I'll
talk about next week. So every time we
start I'll talk a little bit about marriage.
Not that I'm a I'm a expert on
the on the topic by any by any
means, so so don't take everything I say,
Yani, but to heart. But I'm just sharing
with you some of the basics that the
scholars have talked about over the last 1000
years. You find this in the books of
fiqh. You find it in the books of
Teski and Saluk. And this is not I
know I didn't bring anything from I pulled
anything out of my pocket or make anything
up. This is how it's always been.
On marriage contracts, you can stipulate.
You can come up with, like I said
last time, the isma. The control of the
marriage can be in the hand of the
woman. That can be stipulated in the contract.
The default is in the hand of the
man. The default, he's the provider. These are
defaults, But you can agree to other things.
Just make sure when you agree to something
different that
it is fair,
that everyone's carrying their weight within this this
organization, that no one is sitting around
doing doing nothing. Alright.
So
we recited aya number 2. I'm going to
start the tafsir of it because we recited
it last week.
And I talked
about
If the time
of if the period,
after the the period that she has to
stay unmarried after divorce is done, like the,
the 3
cycles are done, then either,
you hold on to this marriage with Maruf,
and you make sure that the intention is
good and the the practices are good. And
that's Maruf. What I talked to you about
right now is Maruf.
Sometimes when the during this period, it gives
time for someone to come and analyze the
marriage and see where there's unfairness happening and
fix the problem and fix this the the
issues that are causing it. And then you
have you end up they can they can
hold on to their marriage. It's Maroof this
time. She's not feeling abused, and he's not
feeling abused either.
Or if you looked at everything, it's fair.
We just don't like each other anymore. Then
you walk away
in in a way that is respectful.
And then
he asked
meaning bring someone for testimony.
Is testimony.
The
way 2 people who have status,
peep 2 people who have social and and
financial and ethical status.
Adil is justice. The way Adil or Du
Adil is someone who is known to be
religiously responsible and ethically impeccable. Someone who has
knowledge and also has character.
So bring 2 people
Bring 2 people to bear testimony, bear witness
to one of these two things.
Most scholars said that this, in terms of
testimony,
is specific to if the man decides that
when the woman decide that they're gonna go
back and continue the marriage,
but not
if the divorce is going to happen,
which is really interesting because it's, in my
opinion, one of the examples of where fiqh
without good reason would leave something out. So
the Imam Mahiyyah bin Bukayr, which is one
of the great Maliki scholars, and one of
the opinions of the Shafi'i madhab, one of
the opinions of Imam Shafi'i, and one of
the opinions of Ahmed and his madhhab is
that this
requirement of test of 2 witnesses
is also indicated for when the divorce is
going to happen.
It's not the prominent position within the within
the 4 schools of jurisprudence,
but it's an opinion in both the Shafi'i
and the Hanbali. It's 50% of the scholars,
and it's one of the opinions of one
of the great scholars of the Marikim. Madaba
is not amongst the Hanafis.
So they the rest, meaning the prominent position,
is that the requirement of a of 2
witnesses is only to
continue the marriage, and it's not obligatory. It's
just recommended.
The problem with this ruling for me, and
I've I've I actually wrote Tianyi a paper
on this when I was back in university.
That was not received well for a while
when but then later was received a little
bit better. Is that,
there's a lack of reasoning here for why
it's only
recommended not obligatory.
In in Islam, when there's a command in
the Quran, in order for you to say
this command is not an obligation. It's just
a recommendation.
There has to be a parina.
There has to be an affiliated piece of
evidence to bring it down a notch, which
does not exist in the Surah by the
way. Like, there's nothing to to suggest that
this
command, bring bring 2 witnesses,
is a recommendation because there's not there's no
evidence for that. The second thing is that
why
they chose to apply this ruling only to
and not Tifariq Khun Nabim Aruv
is something that I think it was just
not the norm of the time. So it
was just more of
a a social,
norm that they did not witness any change
too. So they just assumed that this was
the ruling. But when you read the linguistics
of the Surah,
the requirement of 2 witnesses at the end
of the time
of the wait period for the lady who's
being divorced to either go back to her
husband or be divorced,
the requirement of 2 witnesses applies for both
with no reason for recommendation, really. Meaning it's
an obligation.
And and this is what a number of
Syrian scholars, amongst them many of my teachers
accepted Yani within their within within within courts
of law.
They started to
obligate the necessity of there being 2 witnesses
in order for the divorce to happen. Just
like you needed 2 witnesses for the marriage
to begin,
just like we needed 2 witnesses for the
marriage to begin, this I is actually saying
word to word that you need 2 witnesses
for it to end.
Like, when when you when you do an
actual marriage, you're going to we'll talk about
this next week next week. You need 2
witnesses in order for it to work. You
can't just do it. We have to have
2 witnesses. So just like you need witnesses
to begin a marriage,
you need witnesses to end a marriage, which
makes sense. Because
because if you don't have 2 witnesses to
end a marriage, then
what ends up happening is that marriages end
based on on a whim.
You see, you can't enter something with a
contract and leave it on a whim,
except in in in, you know, in marriage.
Okay? This is the only contract that we
have. Islamic, that's that's allowed. And the reason
that that was allowed is because Arab never
wrote anything before. Like, Arab were not used
to contracts being written. So the the conduct
of marriage Islamically was never written. It was
always just verbal. So just like you enter
verbally, you leave verbally as well. I understand
that with the first maybe 400, 500 years
of Islam, I totally agree with it. But
after that, once the, meaning the the integrity
of human beings, for some reason started to
fall
and men didn't end up having the same
degree of of of that they did before,
I think if you're going to enter marriage
with a written contract, obviously, you need to
witness it, then leaving it should also be
with a contract. You end it with a
contract, you leave with a contract. Marriage should
never end.
Like,
entering marriage is a decision that you make.
You don't get upset one day and end
up married.
Right?
If no one gets upset and then a
few hours later, I am married. No. It's
a decision. It takes a lot of work
to get married. Why is it you can
get upset and be divorced?
And is that a problem? So before
early, like, men had more. I mean, a
man would would would would count his words
and would actually feel
will feel very tied by his word and
to his word. If he said something, he
meant it and he was willing to die
for what he said. He will defend every
word he says. That's because that's all they
had. Right? And then we ended up having
a little bit more in this issue. This
issue became a little bit more loose and
and that that wasn't there anymore. So you
have people who aren't actually held by their
tongues. They're not people of their word. They'll
say things when they they meet it or
they don't mean it, and then they go
back and regret it. If that's the case,
then I am a fan of the concept
of if you entered with the contract, you
leave with the contract. Now to be clear
with you, the form of Ahab agree that
if a man says
your to his wife,
the divorce occurs. He can say it a
1000000 times in the same setting or in
setting does it's still 1. Right? Because she
has to go through 3 the 3 cycles,
and then at the end of it, agree
whether she's gonna go back.
So if he keep on saying throughout this
whole period, it doesn't mean anything. It's just
the one when she says it once, she's
now divorced.
The time begins.
He should only say it in a
right, in a time when she's pure that
they did not have relations in. He shouldn't
say it when she's menstruating nor during a
period of of purity where they have had
relations. But if he says it, it still
it still applies. He's just in he's in
sin. He's sinful for doing it that way.
But it still applies.
And then the 3 months or the 3
cycles begin, we start counting them. And then
after that, either they stay together or they
break off. Right?
The way I see this and this is
not just my opinion and I'm not making
it up. This is the opinion of a
number of of, prominent scholars today in in
the Muslim world, around the Muslim world in
a different in all form of the meaning.
This is is
that just like you entered with a contract,
you leave with a contract.
Following
this If you actually want this divorce to
occur, you need 2 witnesses to be there.
And if there are no 2 witnesses, you
said it. You said it. You are now
it's like you made a.
It's like you it's like I said
on something, I didn't do it. If I
if I if I make an oath and
I don't do I break an oath? What
do I have to do? I have to
go feed 10 masekeen or I or or
close them or I have to go and
and and fast 3 days. So it's seen
if if you say the word and you
don't mean it, you don't bring in the
witnesses,
then it's seen as if you made an
oath and you broke your oath. And you're
accountable for the oath that you made, and
you're also accountable for the sin of say
making that oath and breaking it. And if
you want to actually make this but if
you want to make the divorce official, then
you make sure there are 2 witnesses that
that just like you had people witness your
marriage, you have people witness your divorce. And
having that, yeah, stipulation within marriage would bring
down the number. I I get this question
every single almost every day someone's from some
countries calling me, Fulan,
he got upset to.
He he he divorced his wife.
So I don't take these consultations anymore because
I've lost my patience with them. I don't
do them anymore. Because my response is, put
the hamar on the line. Let me speak
to this idiot so I can I mean,
I want to speak to this imbecile? So
I wanna I wanna yell at him for
15 minutes and then we'll talk about them
ruling. Because this is not a joke. If
you are married to someone,
you don't
let your temper put you in a position
where you're going to say end your marriage.
If you wanna end your marriage, you think
about it, you agree with your spouse or
without if you don't want to do this
if you but you make a decision, you
walk away. You don't say it, and then
15 minutes later, you're counting a sheikh. What
do I do? I don't want them to
this person should lose their Usma. They shouldn't
have their Usma in their hand anymore. And
the sheikh should slap him around a couple
of times. Times. And, yeah, honestly, I I
every time I won't do this anymore because
it's not
what I think the solution for it is
is that when he says that, when he
says antifa'alik, right, and he didn't actually bring
witnesses, he's not going through with it, is
considered an oath that he broke. So he
is accountable for paying the kafara, the expiation
for that oath, which is something around today,
would be something around $200 or something something
like that. And he is sinful, so he
has to perform tawba from doing that,
but the marriage stays.
And this is my opinion on this matter.
And yes, it's not the opinion the prominent
opinion of the 4 schools of of jurisprudence.
It's not. But it's the opinion of many
scholars today who are prominent within their schools
of jurisprudence
today. And this is how most courts of
justice, family family courts within the Muslim world
actually function.
This is how most of them function today.
And they function that way because of the
lack of integrity.
Because men are saying things, and then they're
immediately going back on what they say. If
you said if you meant it, good, then
you're gonna go through with the divorce.
It's you did a full talqah, and you
want to you want to be away for
a couple of months, you wanna think about
it, and then you want to want to
revisit right at the end and make a
decision. It's not I said it, then I
regretted it immediately,
or I I condition.
Mostly, it's the condition. If you walk out
of the house, you're you're you're divorced.
Now what what are we gonna do now?
What are we gonna do now with this,
you know, this stupid, I mean, the statement?
How do you deal with this statement?
Oh, Sheikh, I walked out of the house.
Now what? Now what?
Should be married. Both of you should I
should be you should be should be because
you're taking something that's extremely extremely important
and you're treat treating it and dealing with
it very, very loosely. You're you're acting like
children and this is a family. This is,
this is matrimony. This is not a joke.
It's not something simple. You have to make
sure you make good choices regarding this.
So that's my take on.
This is how I understand it. And I'm
explaining to you that this is not the
prominent position among the school Jewish Buddhist. There's
a reason why it's not because historically, that's
not how it was understood, and that's not
how the contract marriage contracts function. Today, this
is people have moved because this eye is
very clear, and there's no reason for it
not to be obligatory. There's no reason for
it not to be attached to both decisions
of keeping the marriage or divorcing.
And the, yeah, the shying away from that
is not yeah. There's no there's no real
reason for it. Alright.
And make sure that you perform your testimony
for the sake of Allah. So establish establish
your
testimony
for the sake of Allah. Do it appropriately.
Meaning, make sure you are actually witnessing it,
you've heard it clearly, and that you're going
to speak the truth when you're asked about
it later on in your life. Right? Whether
you're whether you are witnessing the reunion of
a marriage or you're witnessing the divorce, make
sure that the shahada has occurred. So Allah
actually emphasizes the shahada here, which is why
I think this has to be a little
bit more
pronounced, in in in how we practice this
issue.
This is what the person who believes in
Allah and the hereafter
is advised to do. You
is basically kind
reminders. That's what is. There's a word for
it in English.
It's a really it's a it's a weird
word that no one even ever uses.
Now, for the life of me. Someone look
it up and tell me what it is.
Wow, that's a really weird weird word. No
one ever uses it. I don't use it.
Forget what it is. But Yuval Yuval is
basically
reminders that are a reminder that is emotional.
It's not scary. It's something that is emotionally
elevating. That's a valve. So something that's light,
and it moves the heart. So
this, what Allah
just explained is what he
is kindly encouraging you, if you believe in
Allah thereafter to stick to. Stick to this.
And this is the way that Allah puts
it that is not harsh. He's putting this
in a nice way that please stick to
this in terms of how you're going to
perform, and he's not just talking about this
ayah, but the ayah that also came before.
And then, subhanahu wa ta'ala, he begins he
there's a there's a little bit of a
a break from the fiqh,
and you have some spiritual verses that are
extremely, extremely important.
Where he says the following, these verses are
very, very well known. You can find them
written on written on, portraits and upon walls
all over the world.
And the one who is mindful of Allah,
the one who performs taqwa appropriately.
Allah subhanahu will make a way out for
them.
Allah will make a way out of difficulty.
Meaning he'll he'll he'll open a door for
them.
There'll be an exit somewhere for you. If
you have mindfulness of Allah, he'll always make
sure there's an exit for you somehow, some
way for you to get out of a
difficult situation into a situation where you can
bear.
And he will provide for him.
From where which this person does not
suspect or expect.
Is when you're expecting something or you you're
it's commonly going to come through this route.
And he'll provide for him.
From a route that he does not suspect.
So Allah subhanahu made 2 promises. 2 promises
here.
If you are someone who is constantly,
ongoingly
mindful of Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala in your
decisions. I'm explaining taqwa in detail in this
Surah, not today but next week inshallah. Because
today we did a lot of, of introduction.
But taqwa is an important point. It's repeated
how many times now? This is the second
time. Right?
Where's the first time in this Surah?
Go go to the sec the beginning of
the second line. Right?
Right off the bat, the first command in
the Surah immediately
Now
if
you have mindfulness of Allah, if you're you
have taqwa,
then he will make sure there's an exit
for you. There's always an exit for you
in any difficult situation, a way for you
to get out, a way for you to
find solace and to find some degree of
tranquility.
And he will provide for you from sources
that you did not suspect.
And the one that depends upon Allah appropriately,
the one who
the one who practices
appropriately.
Allah subhanahu wa'ala is all whom he needs.
Means Allah subhanahu wa'ala. Allah
is all he needs. You do not need
anyone else about aside from Allah subhanahu wa'ala.
These verses talked about taqwa in detail. Like,
it gave it gave a pretty good explanation
of what taqwa is and all of them.
And it talked about.
These are the these are 2 major Islamic
tools. Like, in your tool toolkit as a
Muslim, you have a couple of stuff that
you're gonna use to deal with life. Taqwa
and tawakkul, you know, are top of the
list. Probably the 2 most important things that
you have. He brings them here because this
is where you have to use them.
When you are dealing with marriage issues,
when you're dealing with your spouse,
when you're dealing with your spouse or you're
at the urge of a a verge of
a breakup, you have to make sure you
have
you have taqul, so that you treat the
opposite
side or or or the opposing side appropriately,
so that you don't lose your mind, you
don't lose your deen, You don't lose your
ethics or your values. We don't treat someone
in a way that is unjust or unfair
because, yeah, I mean, you're you're you're yeah.
Out of spite or because you're disgruntled or
upset about something.
You have to have taqwa. You have to
have taqwaqul.
Indeed,
Allah will achieve all of the predestined topics.
Is whatever he predest his is
his will, his decree.
Something will to achieve.
Indeed Allah will achieve his predestined his predestinations.
Whatever it is Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala has
put in the books for you is going
to happen. He's going to achieve it for
you. You can't you can't you can't fight
you can't fight Qaba. You can't fight Allah.
If Allah is coming, it's coming. If if
this if something is in the books, it's
in the books, it's going to happen. So
don't waste too much time in your life
being upset about something that occurred or was
going to occur because if it's if it's
if it's destined, it's destined.
Indeed, Allah has made for everything in this
universe
a certain amount.
A certain amount of space and time and
energy that's going to be dedicated towards it.
And once it's done, it's done.
Everything has a status as well. The word
can mean amount and also means status.
He's assigned everything something.
It will achieve his predestination.
It's not forgotten about. It's not random. It's
going to happen,
whatever it is. So have taqwa and have
taqwaq so that you can emerge at the
other on the other side of all of
this in a way that is healthy.
Divorces are not designed to break people. There's
supposed to be ways for you to get
out of a situation where you are miserable
and you're making someone else miserable with you,
and you've looked into all of the ways
to fix it, and you've analyzed the fairness
in the marriage, you've analyzed the rules, no
matter what you're changing is just not working
between the 2 of you, then you go
ahead and you get out of the situation
so you don't harm someone else or harm
yourself. That's the point.
Divorce itself should not be
a an endeavor that causes you more pain.
That's not the point. Or causes other people
more pain. You have to enter divorce with
Taqwa. You have to enter divorce with Taqwa.
You have to understand that in the Allah
subhanahu wa'ala if there's something predestined, it's going
to achieve its predestination. It's not you can't
change it. Allah put for everything in this
rule.
Yeah. If something has a specific time, if
it's destined to have a certain amount of
time and it ends its ends, you can't
do anything about it. These these words words
of wisdom, if you remove them from the
Surah, they they are timeless.
Like,
these are timeless verses.
These are it doesn't matter whether you're Muslim
or non Muslim.
Religious, non religious, you speak Arabic or you
don't. Whether this it doesn't matter. These whether
you're married or not married or even thinking
about this issue altogether, these verses apply to
everything.
But the reason they're here,
is important. Right? Why are they here? Because
Talaq is a very difficult difficult thing time
for people. This is where you need them
the most.
You have to figure out how you're gonna
be at your best behavior during it. If
it's going to happen, if that's the destination,
there's no way away there's no way around
it, then you have to be at your
best. You have to show taqwa.
What is taqwa? Taqwa is a simple question
with a simple answer.
Is this decision
going to later on cause me to be
punished in this life or the year after?
Is this decision decision going to harm me
in this life or the year after? If
the answer is yes, it's going to harm
you, you don't do it. If the answer
is no, you go along.
The spectrum of choices in life is very
wide. We have a small spectrum over here
of things that are harmful
And one over here of things that are
beneficial.
10%, 10%, and then 80% in the middle
that just don't matter.
They're mubah, they're permissible. Whatever you want.
Wear socks today. Don't wear socks today.
Blue brown one. No at all.
Wear something different. That doesn't matter. You're the
permissible. It don't matter.
You take a today off,
tomorrow off,
these these don't matter. These are permissible.
The question of taqwa,
it just excludes the peace over here.
Is this decision going to harm you over
here? Nope. Then you have all you had
the 90% to choose from.
If the the difficult question is, is this
action going to please Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala?
That's a hard question. That means just the
10% over here.
You're only you're you're stuck in the 10%.
That's in
the prophet alayhis salaam could do that. I
can't. Most people can't do it. Taqwa keeps
you with the 90%. Just stay away from
the harmful stuff.
Stay away from the things you'll regret later
on in life. You have the permissible and
the good.
Yeah. The question of will this please Allah,
that's for
the That's for the people of God. They're
the people of the godly people. People who
have
a certain degree of closeness where that's what
they're living. They're just looking for a lot.
They find their pleasure in Allah
satisfaction with them and nothing else. So they
don't care about the permissible. They know you
don't want them. They just wanna focus on
the acts of worship. Now that's nice, but
it's difficult. Taqwa is not that. Taqwa is
the 90%. Just stay away from the harm.
That's what taqwa
is. So
the person who asked that question before every
decision, will this
displease a lot with me? Will this bring
me later on any regret and harm?
No. Okay. I go on with it. Yes.
I stop.
If you do that, if you like that
type of person, so you're going into a
divorce,
you have something, you wanna say something. You
know that this word
is nothing but poison.
It's just poison. No one can say it
but you because no one knows it but
you. No one has any way to know
it but you, and it's just a drop
of poison that will ruin so many things.
And it's just pure harm. And you're doing
it only just to spite the person and
feel better for a moment on the inside
out of vengeance.
Taqwa will say, nope. I'll I'll I'll hold
on to this one. There's there's no need.
There's no need of being that of being
that malicious. I won't be that malicious. That's
tawqa.
The what happens after marriage? What about my
children? What about me? What about you have
tawakkul? Tawakkul is where you understand
that your matters are not in your hands.
They're in the hands of Allah Subhanahu Wa
Ta'ala. Your job is to try your best.
Your job is to do your best at
all times, to push as hard as you
can, to exhaust all of your resources, to
use up to utilize all that which you
have at your disposal, and that's it. Whatever
Allah
gives you, you accept.
In divorce, you need those two things. You
should not be stuck in a marriage out
of fear of the future, and you should
not allow yourself
to get down to to go down into
the mud
and start saying things you shouldn't say and
doing things that you shouldn't do.
By the way, when you say these things,
you don't hurt your spouse, by the way.
You hurt your children,
your family, and his.
Everyone who's listening to it.
Everyone who's hearing it that's hurt.
You guys have already hurt your each other.
That's it. The hurt is done. Like, you've
already you've already hurt him. He's already hurt
you. Come on. The hurt has happened. These
words are just repetition of something that happened
before, so it's no big deal. You both
felt it. But now these words come out,
and they hurt everyone else
because, they cause families to hate each other,
they cause children not to know their identity
anymore because a child that's being told his
dad isn't
is not gonna grow up very well.
A son can't grow up being told your
father is this.
You can't because it's hard. Yeah. That has
to be taken away. You shouldn't tell a
child these things. Even if even if it
was the truth, the truth is just like
I'm just like the daughter. She can't grow
up hearing from her father things being said
about her mother. She can't.
These things harm the psyche of the child.
Ask
children psychologists. They'll they'll tell you these things.
Very simple.
That's why you need taqwa
and you need taqul. The 2 big hitters.
And within Islamic law, these are the 2
big ones. Like, either Muslim, you you accept
Islam. Alright. Here's taqwaqul, here's taqwaq. Walk with
them. You're gonna need them all your life.
This is where you're gonna need the most.
And, spiritually, the Surah has to this Surah
has to have some spirituality in it because
it's all it's very. It's very your student
base. You can get bored quickly because it's
all
Haram. Yes. The imam this imam said this
this. Imam said that. This is how it's
supposed to be done. In the midst of
it, there's a reminder.
And if you have proper taqwa, he will
give you ways out
of difficult situations.
And he will provide for you from sources
you never expected.
And if you have in in practice
appropriately, then all you need is Allah. You
never need anyone else.
Indeed, Allah will always
achieve his predestinations.
Everything in this role is given a specific
status and amount and will never go beyond
it
even if you want it to.
Alright. Let's recite the verse number 4 and
5 in shawl. LaDonna try to get through
them before the end of the
So
so you look at and that's how it's,
that's how it's it's sound. So it's a
it's a for,
for account, and then the e it's a
full
So this is a difficult word to say
because especially when we stop. Because the is
already has on it, and now the has
on it. Now you have 2 letters in
a row that is that have on them.
They're silent. They don't have a They're not
they're not moving. So whenever you have two
letters in a row that have on them,
you want one of them to be a
med, like a or a waw, or you
want,
one of them to have a kalqala.
Right? Like a jump, so it's easier. When
they're both sukoon and they don't have either,
the tongue has to be a little bit
more, trained properly to say,
so you can't say
or No. The bad is second. So it's
So you have to go to the.
Takes a little bit of of,
practice to say it appropriately. But I'm just
pointing it out because everyone struggles with it.
It's normal. You have to learn how to
say the letters appropriately for it to come
out and sound, correctly. Alright.
When we stop at the noon here, because
it has a Shaddah on it, we give
it 2 counts. So we say hamlahun.
Right? It's not hamlahun.
Say hamlahun.
Just like you would if you were to
continue. If you continue, you would say
You you give it 2 counts. So it
doesn't change. If you stop or you continue,
the
gets 2 counts, whether you're gonna stop or
continue. So when we stop,
we give it 2 counts. Right?
Alright. So he says
and he goes back to the again. So
the so the is not complicated.
It's a number of commands that are jurisprudently
driven, meaning they're about the the rulings of
divorce and what's okay and what's not okay.
In the midst of all these rulings, he'll
pause
and remind you of Taqwa.
He'll do it. So just twice now and
then and then now a third time we
just recited. This is a 4th time and
a 5th time. You keep you keep going
back to remind you of good character,
of piety, of mindfulness
so that you don't go ahead and behave
during divorce in a way that is not
appropriate.
It has to be
That was the law that this Surah gave.
Surah Al Baqarah gave a different law or
something a little bit he said,
You let go
with excellence,
meaning you let go of your spouse and
in a way of excellence. You do it
in the best way possible. Where they walk
away, we're not at each other's necks, and
we're not hating one another.
We're not going after
each other's character, each other's, reputation.
So here's the prophet. He goes back to
the to the jurisprudence a little bit. So
he says,
meaning the ladies whom that and this is
the. This is the, you know, this is
the proposition that you use to describe,
women.
The ladies
whom is
menstruation
mean they have no they have, achieved
menopause, meaning they have no hope in menstruation
anymore. Meaning they have they're not they're not
is to lose hope or not to expect
something.
So both in Arabic, both linguistic meaning usages
are are applicable.
Mean they are not expecting
any form of menstruation anymore.
This is for ladies who are getting divorced
who are beyond menopause, meaning they're they're not
menstruating.
From amongst your your wives.
If they're in a position of unclarity, meaning
whether they still have menstruation or they don't.
Is when you have uncertainty
or lack of clarity or doubt.
If you're at if you're in doubt or
you're unclear,
then their their period of time that they
have to wait after divorce before they can
remarry,
3 months.
So for a lady who is menstruating, it's
not 3 months. It's 3 cycles.
Is either
periods of purity or periods of menstruation. Every
madhhab understands a little bit differently. What we
know to put them together is cycles. It
becomes 3 cycles. So the lady who was
who was divorced, she has to go through
3 cycles
before she can marry remarry someone else. So
this ayah is adding to that the ayahs
in Surat Al Baqals is adding to it
a little bit more.
The ladies who have lost hope or have
no expectation administration in their postmenopausal,
If they're not clear about that, there's lack
of clarity,
and
their period
is There's 3 months.
And the ones who have never had menstruation,
also 33,
3, 3 months. Meaning, some ladies will never
menstruate.
They just never they'll never menstruate. And if
they never menstruate, then it's also 3 months
that they have to wait. Right? So if
if they're menstruating, then it's 3 cycles. And
if there's no menstruation,
either because
they're postmenopausal
but unsure, or they've never menstruated before, yeah,
then it's going to be 3 months period
of waiting.
And the ladies who are pregnant
their period, the end of their period,
The end of
means the end of a period.
Is the period itself.
So for a lady who's pregnant,
the ladies who have pregnancy,
the end of their period, Of
course, it's the linguistic little piece here that's
very interesting for I'm not gonna bore you
with it. But I mean, he the you
the choice of words here is very, very
precise.
Because really for the ladies, it's not the
the ladies who are pregnant. It's not the
period. It's when it ends. For them, it
ends with with their
with with them giving birth.
And
for them to to lose their to put
down their pregnancy for their pregnancy to longer
exist, whether it happens as a miscarriage
or actually,
they they she they give birth. Right? So
because you could argue, well, if it's when
when they give birth, what if she has
a miscarriage at the 5th month? Does she
wait until
9 the end of 9th month where she
was no. Whenever she whenever the the fetus
leaves her, khalas, that's the end of her
of her period. That's the end of her
waiting time. So if a man,
you know, he stupidly,
divorces his wife,
3 days before she she gives birth,
her period of waiting
ends with giving birth.
3 days later.
Not she doesn't have to wait 3 months
or 3 cycles. Right?
If he divorces her,
right before she goes into labor,
her end that ends when she go when
she gives birth. So it's it's just by
if if she's pregnant, when she gets divorced,
the end of her period is when she
gives birth, when she finishes her pre finishes
her pregnancy. So now obviously that shouldn't happen,
but I'm just saying that that that's what
this I explained to her. So what you
end up with is that when a lady
gets divorced,
if she is menstruating,
then she has to wait for 3 cycles.
Either 3 cycles starting with purity or 3
cycles starting with menstruation that depends on which
med hab she follows. I'm not gonna get
into details of that because that's complicated.
The lady can ask when she's you know,
when when when somehow that happens.
If the lady is not menstruating
or she's
she's finished menstruation, she's not expecting it but
she's unsure, then she goes for 3 full
months.
If the lady never menstruated or has a
problem where she does not menstruate altogether, she
never did, then she just waits for 3
months. And if she's pregnant,
her period of time that she has to
wake ends
with her pregnancy with her with with with
giving birth and the end of her pregnancy
a termination of her pregnancy.
Alright.
Then right after that again,
Yeah. For the 3rd time.
And the ones who show mindfulness and taqwa
of Allah
Allah will make for him from his matter,
whatever it may be, use
ease. He will he will he will grant
him ease in whatever matter he has.
The repetition
of
this is because this the topic of divorce
is so difficult.
This is where Taqwa has to be the
most, you know, pronounced in your life. You
have to be able to bring to, you
know, to muster up as much Taqwa as
you possibly can So you can deal with
this situation like that. No one
can ever say that, yeah, their experience of
divorce is easy.
Like, it's not
the point of these verses
is to make it as easy as possible,
even though it's something that can never be
truly and fully easy.
But the point of the rulings in Islam
is to make it as respectful, as honorable,
and as easy as possible for the purse
to the people who are going through it
because it's painful.
It will always be painful.
It's painful for the man just like it's
painful for the woman. Because not just painful
for one side. No. It's painful for both.
Both both parties
feel the loss. There's a loss that occurs
within their lives. Even if it the the
the marriage itself
was toxic and was abusive and was not
working, there is something that is missing now
in your life. And there's a social status
and a social
a new social situation that you have to
deal with now, that you have to, yeah,
explain, and that you have to,
make sense of and make peace with
that
will continue to be with you as you
move forward. This new scenario,
new climate is going to be affecting your
children and your parents and you.
So it's never easy even if it's a
short period of time. Even if you're married
for for for 24 hours or 24 years.
Yeah. It's it it it hurts similarly
regardless because it's just not it's not fun.
It's not easy.
And because it isn't, these rulings for the
all the rulings that we've decided at the
beginning that you have the man has to
do it at the right time. You have
to perform it at the right time. She
has to it has to be at the
beginning
of a time of purity where no relations
have occurred.
She has to stay in her home. No
one should remove her from the house that
she was living in for the entirety of
the time. Right? At the end of it,
either it continues with Ma'aroub
or it ends with Ma'aroub, and you need
people to witness it so that it's done
appropriately. It's not done by a whim. It's
done by a decision. It's a decision, not
just a moment of anger. It's a decision
that's being made.
And that we have to know the period
of time for whether the the lady is
not menstruating,
stop menstruating, or is pregnant. Here's the time.
In the midst of all of this,
Make sure you have taqwa when you do
this. Do this appropriately.
Don't cause unnecessary harm. Don't scar the other
person or allow for them to scar you.
Here's the point I'm gonna make for you
at the end of this.
Because I think we're coming towards the end
of this halaqa.
Just because the other person is not behaving
that way is not a good enough reason
for you not to.
Right? Just because the other party is not
following what I'm explaining in Surah Al Tulaq,
there's not a good enough reason for you
not to follow us, Surah Al Tulaq. Why?
Because he said,
This is the command of Allah that he
has descended upon you, meaning he put it
in his book so that it's it's it's
amongst his his his final word. This is
because easily the prophet, alayhis salam, could explain
this. It doesn't have to be Quran. It
was made in Quran. This is the command
of Allah that he has descended upon you.
So you're not doing this because the other
person showed piety or the other one other
person showed good behavior, you're gonna do the
same. No. No. There's not reciprocal.
This is it's not it's not based on
whether the other person is is is playing
by the rules. You are doing it this
way. You're showing
and tawakul and good manners. Are you doing
it because that is the that is the
command of Allah that he descended upon you.
That's why. Because you are commanded to do
so.
And you are fearing for your
even though the other person may not,
which is actually if the person other person
is not, it's good reason
you're good that you got out.
And the person other person has no
has no and has no and then they
don't fear their akhirah and they don't follow
the command of Allah, then you're better off
leaving. You you made the right decision.
Again.
Right now, the 4th time.
In the ones who show mindfulness of Allah,
Allah remove their sin.
If you're someone who continuously ask that question,
does this displease Allah? Will this cause me
harm? Will this be will I be will
I be accountable for this in a negative
way later? No. I go for it. Yes.
I stop. If you do that continuously in
your life, if you have that that that
safety valve, that if you're preventing harm for
yourself and others,
he will you the the fear is to
cover something or to remove it.
Remove away from you your sin.
And he will magnify for you a reward.
He'll remove your sin and magnify your reward,
you, Mirkiyama.
There is no page in the Quran
that has more commands of taqwa than this
page here.
Four times.
In the first verse.
In the second verse.
In the 4th verse.
In the 5th verse. Four times in 1
page.
This is by far the most, the highest
occurrence,
or frequency of of the concept of Taqwa
within 15 lines, within the entirety of the
Quran.
Within the entirety of the Quran. The closest
contender is twice. That's what Al Baqarah is
twice. That's it.
Four times and four times that were not
talked about as a side point.
Four times where it was direct it was
talked about very clearly, where he
made commentary,
where he actually
loaded the concept.
If you
and show mind
and show mindfulness
towards Allah your Lord, your your your creator,
Rabbakkum your Lord. He used both names. Allahu
Rabbakkum is very rare. Doesn't happen to the
Quran very often. So show mindfulness of Allah
as your creator and as your Lord.
And the one who shows mindfulness of Allah,
someone who shows taqwa. He
will make sure there is always an exit
for him and he will provide from him
for him in ways that this person never
thought was possible.
And if you show mindfulness of Allah Subhanahu
Wa Ta'ala, he will make of all of
your matters ease.
And if you show mindfulness of Allah Subhanahu
Wa Ta'ala, he will
he will remove your sin, and he will
magnify for you your reward. Here the
4 times
with 3
distinct promises
attached to it.
It's almost yeah. And he makes you think
this Surah should be called Surah Taqwa.
Honestly.
Yeah. He's he's Surah Taqwa
because this is 3 times with 3 distinct
rewards rewards attached to them,
each one of them. There's no precedence for
this in the Quran.
And
if and the one who shows will get
this. It is you get a way out.
Now you will get provided for in a
ways you didn't know. You will find ease
in your matters. You will have your sins
forgiven. You will find magnification of your reward.
Just.
Don't make the mistake at the moment it
matters. You know why? I'll end with that.
Oh, it's it's oh,
it's.