Adnan Rajeh – Issues of Marriage #10
AI: Summary ©
The speaker discusses a hadith from Hadith regarding a woman who was married and divorced, and how it was quickly, easy, and quickly. They also mention a mixed race marriage between two individuals, where one was white and the other was black, and emphasize the importance of being honest and avoiding getting caught in the marriage. The speaker also talks about a mixed race marriage between a man named Usama bin Zayed and a woman named Zayd Hanif Haritha, and how it was a result of a sex complementary and a culture of marriage.
AI: Summary ©
The Hadith in a collection, Imam Malik in
his murtah. It's a very it's very rare
that you find a hadith that's only in
the murtah or
it's well known within that book and it
has an authentic generation.
It's a nice story within the topic of
issues of marriage
that we are covering.
Fauthi ibn Qais
a very
noble
and well known Qurayshi lady.
She was she was someone of great, great
nobility, great background and she was very intelligent
and very well educated.
When my husband Abu Amur ibn Hafs my
ex husband divorced me,
meaning he divorced me,
meaning there was no going back was over.
Meaning I went through my 'idha and it
was over.
I went to the Prophet and I told
him something.
There are 2 people who asked for my
hand in marriage. Abu Jahan, ibn Hisham
and Abu Jahan. Not Abu Jahan. Abu Jahan.
One of the Sahabi just people looked at
me funny. Abu Jahan, right? One of the
known He's an Ansari Sahabi and Waawiy ibn
Abi Sufyan, the known Sahabi.
Now, the hadith is not What I'm gonna
say right now is not what I narrate
the hadith for, but I'm gonna just hit
pause here for a moment and just point
this out. That's how easy it was.
See how simple what I just told you
was?
She was married. She got divorced. She finished
her 'iddah. 2 people asked for her hand
in marriage. She's gonna marry one of them.
That's how simple it was. Very simple. Marriage
was easy, it was quick.
For a lot of reasons, but for sure
Talaq meaning someone being divorced was not a
stain of shame that would ruin your life
till the end of time. And the ruin
of life of your children and all those
who come after you until No. It was
something that happened. People sometimes did not get
along and instead of hurting each other, abusing
each other, and hating each other, they would
separate
and they would do tulaqanaf. And the lady
would get married again and the man get
married again.
Given polygamy was more of a thing back
then, so it was easier to do it.
But still marriage occurred quicker. So Fal'l al
Mitzkays finished her Ida and she had 2
people asking for a hand.
So the prophet alaihis salatu wa salam said,
Asfi Abu Jahan, he's a man who's very
strict. He carries
his his aswah on his and his stick
is on his shoulder. He's strict. He's strict
with everybody. You're not gonna be here. Mu'awiya
Saluk. Saluk is someone who is young and
has no like he's not stable. And Mu'awiya
at that point was young,
so he was asking marriage a lady who
was at least a decade older than him.
At least.
And he was still dependent in his life
on the wealth of his father.
And his father, Abu Sufyan,
was cheap.
He was known to be cheap. He said
it about himself, and his wife told him
about himself. Everyone saw it. He he didn't
he didn't get it was hard to get
the kush out of his hand. Hand. So
had not established himself yet. So, yes, he
had a lot of wealth because his father
was very wealthy and he would become very
wealthy. But at that point in his life,
he had no wealth.
He's he's walking around doing things. Why he
doesn't have no money? He wants to take
care of you.
Again, not the point of this hadith but
point something else. The prophet alaihis salam answered
very honestly.
Very honestly alaihis salam. He didn't lie. Even
though he liked Abu Jahham, he liked Muawiya.
Both of them were his companions. But he
didn't lie. Because when it comes to the
dhimma, when marriage is happening you have to
be honest.
Ghiba and ninema is haram. But if someone
asked me about someone for marriage, I had
to say what I know Because there's an
issue of this is a big deal.
2 families are going to be 2 people
are being united in a very very sacred
manner and people are looking for honesty. They
want to know what this person is like.
They don't care about So the prophet is
very clear. Abu Jam, great guy. Very strict.
Very strict. You're not gonna You're not gonna
You're not gonna
You're
not gonna
You're not gonna You may not want to.
So even though he, you know, he loves
both of them, but he's not gonna lie
to her.
Accept marriage of Usama bin Zayed.
I didn't like him. I looked at Usama,
His father
is Zayd ibn Haritha. The prophet alaihis salam's
adopted son. His mother anyone know his mother?
Just just for like a trivia question. Anyone
know whose mother is?
You Haram, Meshum.
Allahi. Allahi haram. You don't know his mother?
Wait. Usama's
mother.
The prophet alaihis sala alaihis sala alaihis sala
alaihis sala alaihis sala alaihis sala alaihis sala
alaihis sala alaihis sala alaihis sala alaihis sala
alaihis sala alaihis sala alaihis sala alaihis sala
alaihis sala alaihis sala alaihis sala alaihis sala's
nanny.
She took care of him. He was a
kid. She dug the grave of his mother
with him.
The great lady. Said, waja wazam, Zayd got
married to Zaynab. They were miserable.
And he married Umu Aiman Barakar Habashiya. Again,
at least a decade and a half older
than him. And they were very happy and
they had Usama. Usama. So Usama was from
a mixed race racial background.
Usama was mixed race.
His father
was
as white as that light. He was Arab
very very
She's the opposite.
Usama was for a mixed marriage.
A racially mixed marriage back then, a culturally
racially mixed marriage. He looked his he was
a Yani caramel. That was his color. So
Filipina looked at him and she didn't like
him. He's like I
didn't want to marry someone. The Qurayshi have
a certain lineage they didn't like.
So he left
to me and marry Usama Bin Zayed. Those
are the guys that are not gonna be
getting. She'll make you happy.
Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala put so much khair
in this marriage, I became
the
I mean people started to envy me over
that my marriage with Usama.
The ladies around me start to feel envious
of my relationship with my husband when I
married him.
From the book of the prophet
alaihis salatu wasra. Not only does he offer
advice immediately, that is honest, but he will
also
match make.
He he he was matchmaking alaihis salatu wa
salaam. No. No. I'm not doing it. Just
so you know.
No. That's
not that's not me at all.
He match made And it didn't always work.
He match made
the father of Usaym to Zaynab.
Like he he Zaynab been hired to marry
Zaynab
and then they got divorced. But he did
it alaihis salatu wa sallam.
You know the proverb in Arabic?
Alright. Im shibish.
Walk in someone's desk, but don't walk in
their marriage. Meaning meaning,
go to their to their funeral, but don't
go to their wedding. Like
contribute to their funeral, but don't contribute to
their wedding. Right? Because of how why? Because
we changed how marriage is seen. Because we
changed how marriage functions. So we made it
something that's a nightmare for everyone involved. It's
a nightmare for this for the groom, and
for the bride, and for their parents, and
for anyone who's helping them. It's just a
nightmare. No one has finished a wedding and
said, I wish we could go on. Anyone
who finishes the wedding is like,
and this day is over and I hope
I never have to think about this day
ever again.
Why? Because there's so much Because we've made
marriage so stressful and so It's no longer
something that is enjoyable by the way. Yeah,
maybe the ladies have a good time and
they're dancing and whatnot and they take the
pictures. But really outside of that marriage is
no longer an enjoyable occasion. It's supposed to
be joyful. It's supposed to be joyful. And
the prophet alaihis salam was very honest because
because of his honesty. He was honest about
the people and he would suggest people to
others and they would get married
and they would be fine and they would
find happiness even though they're mixed. This hadith
has so many things to learn from. It's
a mixed marriage. Like he's a man who
comes from a background that is very rare.
Very rare for Allah to marry. It was
very rare. Salama looked.
He stood out in the way he looked.
She didn't want but then she married and
she said,
I am the happiest woman because I married
this man.