Adnan Rajeh – English Tafseer Halaqah- Surat Al-Tahreem #2
AI: Summary ©
The importance of creating a unit and family for healthy living is emphasized, along with the need for parents to understand their mental health and behavior. They need to protect their children from mental health and behavior, and provide a partner with support. The importance of trusting one's words and sharing sensitive information is emphasized, along with the need for parents to know their mental health and behavior. The importance of finding a partner who is willing to help and gives support is emphasized, as well as finding a partner who is willing to help and gives support. The central universal surah provides a brief description of " protective" and " protective" in Arabic language.
AI: Summary ©
So tonight
we're going to continue from where we left
off in Surah Al Taherim where we stopped
at ayah number 3. I didn't
conclude
all the points from
what I wanted to talk about
last time, so I'm gonna just do that
now and then we'll continue reciting
4 and 56.
You may get probably get to the end
of the page inshallah
tonight. So
Surah Taherim, the final surah in this cluster
from Mujadilat Taherim. This the the the surahs
that I've talked about,
aspects of organising the Muslim society.
Organisation
that occurs on the individual level and it
occurs also on the communal level. And
I've, kind of, summarized this a number of
times before, so I'm not gonna bore you
with that. But the final this final surah
talks about the the it talks about organizing
the the unit that which builds the Muslim
Ummah, which is the family. And it talks
about the the, you know, some ideas or
concepts or important
points to allow families to exist
in a healthy way. And the the way
families will will exist in a healthy way,
the way families will succeed and prosper is
going to be through,
spouses that, whom or spouses who understand what
their rights and obligations are within the marriage.
And are in it for the right reason,
with the right mentality, the right mindset.
That's how you make sure that you'll have
a unit, a family unit. The kids kids
are the product of whatever
whatever the parents are, whatever the parents do,
whatever society they grow up in.
Now kids do vary obviously. Some more difficult
than others. But at the end,
they can't really
outgrow whatever environment their parents
put them in. So if the parents are
functional, if the spouses are functional, then then
they will be functional and the family will
succeed.
And if they're not, then they won't. And
there's no such thing as a perfect family
or a perfect relationship or
a perfect method of upbringing.
I know that today we enjoy talking about
these things a little bit more than we
should, and I watch.
Sometimes young couple young couples,
they try and and do something different with
their children.
And I enjoy watching it because it has
never worked before.
Shielding your children from life doesn't work.
Over
scheduling their lives to the point where they
don't
have any free time or their free time
is very limited or they don't don't have
the ability just to walk out the back
door and just
take a stick and dig a hole or
stare at a dead bird or
walk behind them. If they don't do these
things and they don't understand what life really
is Like this is this is important. I
think I think there's I was having this
conversation the other day and I think there's
When you
If if you really
dedicate yourself day and night for your children,
yeah you can get them
enhanced speaking skills at a younger age. You
can get them some functional skills before their
time. You can get them all these things.
But but what they end up losing out
on are the basic social skills of life.
And it's not just about how to
deal with people.
It's about being
Not being too vulnerable
regarding what life is
late, too late.
Children that So
if someone is born and they can't see,
if they don't see before a certain age,
then even if you give them eyesight, they
won't understand what they're seeing. Like they'll they'll
pluck their eyes out. Like they can't they
can't see because their brain is not wasn't
wired on a young age to be able
to process visual images. So if someone's born
blind, they have up to maybe there are
some some scientists say up to the 7
7 years of age. If they don't see
by then, then they'll never see. Same thing
goes with hearing. If they don't hear
within the first 5 to 6 years of
their lives, then even if you give them
hearing, they won't be able to really understand
what they're hearing.
They have to establish a language of some
sort whether it be sign, whether it be
anything so that their brains can grow. It
goes for a lot of other
skills as well. Children have to understand disappointment.
They have to understand rejection.
They have to understand boredom. They have to
they they have to actually go through those
feelings. And the best place for them to
go through those feelings is at home. It's
a it's a very
controlled environment. Here they can get bored and
rejected and and feel scared and threatened and
and feel
bad about themselves there because it because it's
Unless of course there's abuse in the house
and that's a whole different story. And by
the way, all the psychopaths and sociopaths, all
of them come from from homes where they
were abused. All of them. Like if if
you if you if you care about this
and I I You probably don't, but for
some silly reason years ago, I I took
interest in this aspect of human of human
life and I I became more interested interested
in the profiles of of of of serial
killers and people who will have like very
bizarre behaviors. Even and not just talking about
psychopaths
as in within the within the generic
sense of the word, but no. Talking about
people who end up becoming dictators and people
who become end up becoming
they always come from some from background where
there was abuse at a young age. And
you know, the younger the abuse and the
longer it went on for, the more likely
this person will have these tendencies later on.
So they need to be cared for and
they need to be properly watched. Like there
has to be more, you know, intention given
to them in order for them to be
able to function.
Otherwise,
life is going to dish out all these
feelings to you. So if you're trying to
shelter your child from them and you shelter
them from these feelings for too long, then
they don't know how to deal with them
later. And they won't know what it means.
They won't know what to do when someone
yells at them, or someone rejects them, or
someone mocks them, or someone They won't know
what to do because they were never equipped
with these
skills. So, if you're gonna shelter your child
and you're going to micromanage them, then you
know add that to the curriculum.
If you have to add that to the
curriculum because that's a part of life. Life
is filled with these because no way there
is no way around it.
No matter it's impossible for and if the
the later
children are subjected to these feelings, the less
likely it is that they'll know how to
deal with them.
The less likely they'll know how to deal
with them. And when a human being I'm
just I'm just saying this because there's a
lot of, you know,
traits today or or trends you can probably
pick up on as I as I talk
about this. And when a human being does
not know how to deal with something psychologically,
what do they do?
That's where they go down the substance abuse
path. That's where they become addicted. That's where
they that's where they go down addictions and
they become abusive because they don't know how
to deal with an emotion. They were never
They don't have the skills that to deal
with this emotion. Those emotion that they don't
understand or this behavior that they don't comprehend,
they don't have the skills that to deal
with causes
a heightened amount of anxiety because they don't
know what to do with it, they were
not prepared for it. No one told them.
So And a lot of anxiety causes the
human being to pick up bad habits
and they walk down
the path of looking for different types of
addictions. Whatever they are. Something can be social
addictions, they can be physical addictions, and they
can be substance addictions. It doesn't matter, they'll
find something.
So really as a parent what your job
is, is to make sure that your child
is
being exposed to all of the different
all the varieties
of feeling that life can offer. What what
can I offer? Yeah. A lot of nice
stuff, but a lot of bad stuff as
well. So you have to allow them to
I'm not saying that you have to dish
out the bad stuff, but don't shelter them
from it to the degree where they don't
understand what to do, where they don't know
how to process
someone being mean or someone rejecting them.
I am not encouraging bullying.
What I'm trying to say is that if
your child is not socially equipped to deal
with this problem, it will harm them in
a way it shouldn't.
It will harm This will harm them in
a way it it should not because they
should have the ability to deal with this.
It's a part of being alive. If you're
alive, as you grow up you're going to
be
people are gonna pick on you. People are
going to push your
push your boundaries, push your limits. You have
to know what to do about that. Sometimes
it's gonna be way bigger than you.
Sometimes it'll be 3 times your size.
Swinging a punch is not the smartest thing
for them to do at that moment. So
they have to learn ways to actually deal
with this stuff and this is a part
of just being alive. If you're alive that's
what you're gonna have. So we shield children
from this. We shield them from life basically.
They can be academically very advanced and very
They have skill sets that are amazing but
they will struggle later.
What do you think the human being wants
at the end? What do you think the
CEO of the company wants and the dictator
of the country wants and the the scientist
in the lab wants? They want a stable
social life. They want to be able to
ace their relationships.
They want to feel loved and they want
to be able to offer love appropriately. This
is what human beings want on a on
a simple social level and if they don't
have that then they're not happy. It doesn't
matter how much money they have or how
successful or how famous. This is what every
human being looks for. They look for these
basic stuff. Now I'm saying that because what
when Islam focuses heavily on the family and
focuses so much in the Quran on the
spouses and on the respect and on the
obligations and on the rights and how people
should speak to one another, how they think
about one
another. There's a reason for this. There's a
reason because once you learn how to do
that well, you can run a family that
is functional. You have a functional family then
the unit is stable and your children can
grow up in a family where they can
experience life appropriately and they can grow up
to be normal human beings. They can and
they can process information. They can deal with
life as is dished out to them and
they can move on.
And without that then they'll be And these
verses by the way that we're reciting that's
talking about this were revealed at a time
when
really
only the genetically
honey, advanced and extremely
wealthy would survive.
Like only only maybe a 100 years ago
or less than a 100 years ago. No,
it's much less than a 100 years. Did
we actually
were we as the human race able to
change the, the the the rate of,
of of child deaths at birth
and and and, you know, for some postpartum
deaths from from both the mother and and
the and the children.
Before this, it was very very common, like
before we did this a couple of you
know, decades ago, it was very common for
a couple to have 4 children and have
lost 3.
It's very very common. Like it happened all
the time. You can ask your dad about
his mother.
How many children did she have? Was it
just the number that he had or was
it usually like was 2 or 3 of
them die when they were a couple of
months old
or any stillbirths or whatnot. It wasn't very
common. It was hard to do this. So
people had a lot of children and many
of them would die at a very young
age. So only the ones who are very
strong would actually make it through.
These verses were revealed to people who were
in that era and also were living in
the desert.
They were living in the desert where it's
where the
I mean the temperature
and the environmental
causes are extremely,
they're not they're not kind. They're very very
difficult.
And only
what I'm trying to say is life was
already hard back then. It was already hard.
And still the Quran will emphasize the importance
of the detailed
relationships
pieces between the spouses. The detailed stuff.
You can only so here's where we don't
understand. Here's my opinion where we don't understand
the context of the Quran well. We hear
the Quran talking about the details
of the relationships
between men and women. At a time where
we are in luxury and we have the
luxury to actually do that. We have this
time to talk about these things. We fail
to recognize that these verses were revealed at
a time where no one cared about these
things. Where no one talked about that stuff.
People were way too tough to talk about
these things.
People were way too tough and way too
rigid to actually have a conversation about
how you're going to speak to your spouse,
how what you're going to reveal, what you're
going to think about, how you're going to
do it. Because what are you talking about?
We What are you? Are you insane? If
we can make sure that we feed our
children throughout the day and none of them
get eaten by a snake or bitten by
a
by a scorpion or or taken away by
a by a wolf and we don't end
up being raided or killed by people, then
that was a good day. That's one day,
one day we made an extra day. You're
here to tell me that I should speak
like this and think like this and
We don't have the luxury to think about
that. They didn't and they were being told
by the Quran to do that. So this
is the context that I think is missing
for a lot of people who read the
Quran is important. That the Quran came and
talked to them at a time where they
didn't have the luxury to think about these
things. Where life was way too difficult to
care about
how a wife and he thought about her
husband, what she did, and how she behaved,
and how he responded, and what he said.
These details, life was way too difficult for
that to be a matter to matter at
all. For us today, when I talk to
you about it, like, Yeah, that's really cool.
You know, the fact that
For example, the example that I gave you.
Two lessons that we have in these three
verses that the Prophet made
forbidden for himself something that was not forbidden
and was not problematic just to please the
spouse and their spouse and the Quran said,
Don't do that. Don't deprive yourself from something
that is unnecessarily.
That bears no
benefit just because someone is No. Don't do
that. You're gonna end up This is gonna
cause resentment later, so don't do it. No
one back then cared about these things. Like
this was this was What are you talking
about? Why would he, Yuharrim
A'Hallallah hula, first of all? Like why would
you, You Rasulullah, even do that? That makes
no sense at all to most people. And
then why would Allah come and say, No.
Don't do it.
Who is Who has time for this? Who
has time for this? There's 10,000 Confederates that
are marching towards Medina to kill everybody. You're
talking about, okay let's No. Don't say this.
Yes. Yes. Yes. That's exactly what the Quran
is saying. Yes. Hold on.
Dig the trench, but in the same time,
make sure that you don't do these. Why?
Because these matter. So back then when this
was being revealed to them, it was teaching
them that these things matter. These details, these
adab, the etiquette of how to
how to treat your your your significant other
and what to think and what not to
think, what to say, what not to say,
and how to go by things. Very important
to to us. To us it sounds cool.
Like when I tell you the story, I
I'm I I listen to it and I
find it helpful because we need these things
in our homes. But there's a piece of
context here that you should that will make
this much more meaningful. That these were revealed
at a time where no one cared about
this stuff. Where there was no such thing.
Where men did not take any time to
care of what their wives wanted or didn't
want.
Where
it just wasn't there.
It just wasn't there. And
especially
if you come from a background that is
a bit rural in the world. A bit
rural
from the sun from from the, countryside. Just
go a generation back and ask.
Just go You don't have to go 1400
years back into history. I promise you. It
doesn't have to go that far. Just go
one generation back and ask. Ask your grandmother
and your grandfather
about what the rules were and how they
lived and you'll find it very difficult. Very
different. Very different. And the Quran came so
a millennium and a half ago to talk
about no, no, you need to These details
matter. These details matter. Yes, you're poor. Yes,
you're struggling. Yes. You can barely
make ends meet, and it's a very scary
and and and harsh
landscape and life that you're living, but still
still
No.
Don't don't do that. That's gonna that's gonna
help you in no way. It's gonna make
things worse.
Now the the second lesson, which is I
didn't con conclude last time I'm gonna include
for you last this time. The third ayah,
we've decided this talked about
it. So the Prophet alaihi wasalam he was
told that your breath was this.
Unjustly he didn't have a problem with his
breath with the the honey was fine. He
told
Hafsa don't I will never eat from it
again I swear. But don't tell anyone that
I made this oath. I don't want this
oath that I'm taking to make it over
to Zainab's ears and then she'll be hurt
because I'm not gonna Just just keep it
between us but I won't do anymore. She
didn't. She went and she and she told
Aisha and then then of course it spilled
out to others. Everyone knew about it. Yeah.
Once
naba'atbihi
once Hafsa his wife.
So Look at the other of the Quran.
The Quran didn't point out it was Hafsa.
Right? The Quran didn't even know it's known
that it was her. Our ul Khattab would
say, It was my daughter. I know the
story. He told the story. It's like, No,
it's my daughter. She's the one who did
this. Who did this? But why not the
The Quran wouldn't wouldn't want The Quran doesn't
like to point out good people in bad
in bad way. Everyone makes mistakes. There's no
point of of shaming someone for the rest
of their life. So
and
one of his one of his wives, he
had he had a conversation, a secret and
confidence conversation.
And once when she went and she
she exposed his secret, she said what he
asked her very clearly not to
expose. And
Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala told him about this.
Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala told the Prophet alaihis
salam this is what happened. Jibreel came and
said here's what happened.
Aisha did this. They said this so that
you would do this. You did this. You
told her not to. She went and she
told everyone knows and then Jibreel left. So
the Prophet alaihis salam now has the full
the full picture. So once he
knew
He let her know that he knew
some of it
and he shied away from letting her know
that she knew some of it. Like he
didn't tell her that I know everything by
the way. No. He just told her what
he knew. What he wanted her,
to change. Like he told her what he
thought was important.
He pointed out to her that I asked
you to keep this in confidence
and that's important. For trust to grow here,
we have to be able to keep secrets
for each other. If if I can't trust
you with something, it's gonna be a problem.
And of course, the prophet alaihis salaam Yeah.
And he trusted his wives and he continued
to he continued to trust his wives with
his secrets all his life alaihis salaam till
the day he died. And this is known
and this is not even up for it's
not for up for debate Islamically. The prophet
alaihis salam had full trust in all of
his wives. Even when even when Hafsa did
this, he didn't stop trusting her. He just
He
just pointed out that he didn't he didn't
appreciate the fact that she did that.
He didn't go and tell her and by
the way, this whole shenanigan that you and
Aisha put together to stop me from eating,
I know about as well. Shame on you.
No,
he ignored that piece alaihis salatu wasalam.
So Hafzal 'Aisha did not know that the
Prophet alaihis salatu wa sallam knew
about the fact that they had conspired.
They had a plot. They didn't know. They
found out when he was reading Surat Taheem
in one of the salawats. That's how they
found out. When they heard the Prophet alaihis
salaam reciting the verses You Aniv out loud.
Falamalabaahabi
when he told her that
you shouldn't
tell the secret. She
said, Who told you that I told her
that night?
The one who told me is the omniscient
and the one who knows all. The one
who knows Al Aleem is an umbrella name
for the one the all knowing. The omniscient,
right? The all knowing. Al Khabeer
is
a name that fits under that umbrella that
is used when Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala is
talking about intentions.
When Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala wants to talk
about something that exists inside the heart and
the soul and the spirit that doesn't have
any physical like there's no physical footprint for
whatever it is going on, he'll use his
name, Khabir. Al Latif, he'll use it to
talk about knowing things that are very very
small like the details that are easily missed,
he'll use the name Latif. Samiya he use
it when he talking about something that can
be heard. Al Balsayr talking about something can
be seen. So all of these names
There's a lot of names. So Al 'alim
is the umbrella name that means the omniscient.
So sometimes he'll use the the you know
the umbrella name and then the name after
that just to point out that there's a
little bit there's a detail here. Al Khabeel.
That he knew a detail about why Aisha
and why Hafsa did what they did.
Like the reason that they actually wanted this
happen which which was they they didn't they
didn't like the prophet alaihis salam going to
Zainab's home too many times.
So insulah,
Haifa
alaihis salam
knew about the whole story. That's how they
would they would figure it out. He didn't
say it himself alaihis salam
So the two lessons in this one. Number
1 is is is expecting the confidentiality.
What happens inside a home that is in
confidence between spouses should stay there.
It should stay there. You should not be
sharing this with anyone. You may have the
urge to share it with someone.
Exciting news
and saddening news
are 2 types of news that we have
a massive urge to share with people in
our lives. A massive urge, you have no
idea,
Or you do probably, but it it it's
very difficult to keep it to yourself,
and what happens inside a household many times
will be one of the of one of
those two natures.
Like a lot of times in a household
you'll have news that will be one of
these two natures. Either very exciting news, so
you want everyone to know. Sometimes it's not
it's not appropriate to let everyone know about
this. Or saddening news where you also want
to and you have to be careful with
what you share.
I can tell you that when you share
your news,
you share something in confidence to others,
you gain almost you gain nothing, you lose
a lot.
You gain very little, you lose a lot
because unless you are sharing it with your
therapist
or you're sharing it with someone who
is there as a mentor to kind of
guide you because you are completely lost. You
don't know what to do. Then people are
just getting insight into your home. They're finding
things about you and they're enjoying finding things
about about you and they enjoy knowing that
things aren't working. It's not all working. Well,
whatever. The people are what? You are. You
don't do that. You have to keep the,
you have to keep
the curtain down. What happens inside has to
stay inside. It's between This is the specificity
of of the house of
the house. Between the spouses, what happens has
to stay there. That's why my opinion, what
men and women should learn before they go
into marriage first. It's just what is the
definition of abuse
because that's really all that matters. As long
as you're not being abused,
then whatever happens should stay inside the household.
You just figure it out there and you
should be able to go back and share
with the person it taught and keep
things confidential or else
households that don't do that end up, you
know, suffering in the long run. If people
know your business,
if a lot of people in your family
know what's happening between 2 people,
the sanctity of this relationship starts to kind
of melt away. It starts to go. It
starts to, you know, shluff off. You don't
want
that to be your situation in your marriage.
So and I say this
to sisters more
because they're the ones who tend more to
want to talk about things than
men tend not to do this as much,
and when they do by the way other
men shut them up because we don't want
to know. Like I don't want him to
talk to me about his problem marriage, but
I have enough. I don't need his. Like
I don't need him to tell me his.
I don't care. Like honestly, I'm not coming
to sit with you till you can tell
me your problems. I'm here so that we
don't think about them for half an hour
or we can do something different. So it's
a little bit different. Now it does happen
but I'm saying it's a little bit different.
But for sisters it happens more often. So
be careful Who it is you share things
with and what you share, why you share
it. These things matter because if not, then
all you're doing is just you're breaching confidentiality.
If you don't do it correct If you
don't know exactly what you're doing, all you
end up doing is just breaching the confidentiality
of what happened inside the household and that
can cause a lot of problems
within within a marriage. It can cause it
can cause a lot of problems in a
marriage and this can take away from what
your husband you and your husband actually have
to be careful. The third lesson that is
that the Prophet
didn't he didn't
expose all that he knew.
He didn't expose all that he knew. Why?
Because he didn't care to be right alaihi
wasallahu alaihi wasallam.
Like his goal was not to rub it
in, was not to show the other person
that they were wrong, was not to put
them in a position where they felt embarrassed
with themselves because they did something. No. His
goal was to maintain his relationship with his
wife. He wanted to have a good relationship.
The problem here is not the conspiring piece.
That piece, he gets it alayhi salatu wa
sallam. It's a mistake. She knows it's a
mistake. He knows I don't need to go
into this. The problem that he needs to
fix is the confidentiality
piece. If I tell you it's a secret,
you have to keep it. I can't or
else I can't trust you and that can
ruin things. So he just pointed out that
piece. He didn't talk to her about the
fact that you and Aisha conspired. And I
said this last time and I'll tell you
it again.
I absolutely could not put myself in a
position where I could do this. I tried
many times. Like I ran this scenario in
my mind a million times, not once was
I able to actually come to the Google
where I would do this, where I would
actually just act like I didn't know if
I found this out. That would be the
only thing. I would actually forget the confidentiality
piece probably altogether and talked about it a
week later when I remembered it. I would
be coming in full force to tell her
Yeah,
you lied. You conspired. You plotted. You tried
to He didn't
He didn't. And this shows you a certain
degree, a level of of maturity that he
had alaihis salam in his relationship that we
should learn from. And I think the the
message in it is that it doesn't matter
Like if you're in a marriage and your
goal is to be right,
then this is not gonna work. I I
give you the news that this will fail
at some point.
Unless one of you gives up. Unless one
of the 2 gives up on that doesn't
care about anymore. Being within marriage, the the
goal is not to be correct. It's not
to be the right right the other person
That doesn't
work. You will learn this very quickly once
you have a business or you have a
partnership that matters where you're
Being right doesn't help.
It's helping everyone function and do their job
to the best of their ability.
If you're proving that people are wrong and
you are right, people are wrong, you are
right, their
self esteem is dropping, their confidence in themselves
is dropping, their
enthusiasm to continue to do this is dropping,
they feel less trusted, they feel like you
end up having a weak partner. You don't
want a weak partner. You want a strong
partner if you understand what partnership is. If
you're in marriage with understanding what it means
with this partnership,
then you want a strong partner. If you
continue to point out their flaws when you
have the ability to do so, like you
are right and they are wrong and it's
obvious. If every time it's obvious you take
advantage of doing that, then they will become
weaker
with time.
And a weak partner
turns into a weak parent.
And a weak parent will not help you
with your children. And a weak partner will
not help you with your household. And a
weak partner will not help you with your
deen. A weak partner does not help with
any
And the both of you pay the price
for this. So be careful when you're trying
to trying to advance your relationship that the
point here is not to be right.
It's to help everyone,
you know, get to the finish line. We're
all trying to get
We're all trying to move forward. Try to
move forward.
And And if we're not trying to move
forward and I'm trying to point out that
I know more
See this concept men have which where she
she has to come to the conclusion where
I I know more than her. She doesn't
know anything. Listen to me. It's not gonna
happen. It'll never
happen. If the Prophet alaihis salallam couldn't get
there, you can't. Alright? If he alaihis salallahu
alaihis salam. Right? With the daughter of Umar
ibn Khattab could not get there, then I
guarantee you. You ain't getting there. That's not
gonna happen. You're not gonna come to the
point where your wife is fully convinced that
you are the omniscient one among some human
beings, and that she knows nothing and should
listen to you and what She's not gonna
do it. So why waste your time? It's
a wall that you'll bang your head on
until until your head splits open. There's no
point of trying to do that.
In addition,
it's impossible for that to be true anyways.
It's impossible for that to be true. Yeah.
For a man to think that you're not
always right, Joe. You're gonna be wrong a
lot of times. So, unless you wanna start
this bad tradition amongst the 2 of you
where when one of you is right and
one is wrong, it's going to be rubbed
in. It's going to be may it's going
to become painful then maybe you should reconsider
this whole approach.
You should consider this whole. That's
what you learned from this ayah, from the
prophet alaihis salaam.
He exposed some of it and then he
he didn't. The rest of it
he shied away. He ignored the rest of
it. He didn't bring it up. He didn't
bring it up. They found out that he
knew during Isha praying behind him 'alayhi salawam.
He heard the verses.
He knows, but he didn't say anything because
there's no point of embarrassing. What what good
is gonna come from this? What good will
come from this? Nothing. Nothing.
There's no gain.
I think that that's something there that's worth,
you know,
reflecting upon within relationships. Don't
deprive yourself
of things unnecessarily
for the other
and don't expect the other party to deprive
themselves from things unnecessarily for you. You don't
want that. That will
Honey,
That will feed the seed of resentment
amongst the 2 spouses and you don't want
that. So so be careful of that. It's
a it's a slippery slope that people can
ignore, especially those who are very
enthusiastic
and in love and they feel like Yeah.
Be careful. Be careful. Don't don't don't jump.
No. No. I will never do that. I
don't have to No. Be careful. If something
matters to you before you give it up
for the rest of your life, you should
think for a moment. Number 2, be careful
about the confidentiality
clause that exists within relationships.
2 people who are married are sharing their
lives with each other. They're sharing the most
intimate aspects of themselves with the other person.
You have to understand
how
to what degree you are held to the
clause of confidentiality here.
Right? Because you know about this other person.
Everything almost and they know almost everything about
you. And that's why when
the the surah before, so the Tulaq divorce
it talked about that. You have to have
taqwa at the end of the You have
to have taqwa because you guys walk away
from each other. You know a lot. You
have a lot you could No, no. You
can't. This is not acceptable. You're not allowed
to go around
talking about the other person and to saying
and telling stories and saying No. No. No.
This is this is
bound by the
law of confidentiality.
Within a marriage, this is very important. Allah
subhanahu wa ta'ala will hold you accountable if
you expose your spouse.
Whether you expose while married,
whether you expose
after marriage, whether you do it with good
intention or you do it with bad intention.
Be very careful from what you say and
who you say it to and why you're
doing it because this is a big deal.
The third lesson that it's not about being
right. If you're always about being right, you'll
also be alone
and that's not too much fun.
People who are always right are usually alone.
So be careful. It's not about being right
in a marriage. It's not. It's about it's
about
the partnership being stronger. That's what this is
about. You're trying to make your
If you're if you're playing a sport
Anyone who play a team sport knows what
I'm talking about.
You play a team sport
or you play, for example,
a game of cards and you have a
partner in it. If every time they make
a mistake, you're gonna yell at them, then
you're gonna have a weak partner. And you're
gonna lose all the games.
You're gonna lose all the games because you
are basically making them feel isolated. You are
taking away their confidence. You're not building them
up, you're building them down and they're gonna
fail. You're gonna fail with them because this
is a this is a sports. This is
a team sport.
Marriage is a team. You're a part of
a team. If you're always If you're about
being right, you have to point out when
they're wrong. You have to. You can't be
And you have to be right, then you
are not a team player. And that to
me is a problem in your personality that
someone has to point out to you.
This is an issue. It's not about being
right. It's about making sure that the other
party
figures out where the issue is, moves forward
and maintains their self esteem and their ego,
and they're not made to feel less.
And that's why Aradhanbal, the prophet alaihis salam,
didn't feel the need to talk to them
about the conspiring peace.
They would they would
with time everyone kind of goes looks back
at what they did and they figure out
what was good and what was wrong and
people make mistakes. There's no point to rub
it in even though you when you have
the ability. Those are the few lessons that
I think these verses teach and I think
they're very very valuable. So we'll move on
to ayah number 4 insha'Allah.
And we'll continue.
So Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala after talking to
the Prophet
pointing out what happened in the story and
the lessons that we should learn. He speaks
to the to the to his wives
to both
Aisha and Tawasa in this story.
Herein is not a conditional
proposition. Here, it is a proposition for encouragement.
Meaning, this is the best better thing for
you to do.
Illallah. Meaning you should probably
repent back to Allah.
Because indeed,
for someone
meaning someone, who is who is sitting for
example perpendicular to the earth and very straight.
He comes down or she comes down to
hear something. Meaning they they go away from
from being on a, on a straight path
or they're no longer facing facing straight anymore.
So saqatkulubukun.
Your hearts have have drifted away a little
bit.
Your hearts were not in the right place.
Your hearts at the moment when you did
this, they weren't in the right place. You
weren't thinking about your partner. You weren't thinking
about what's best for him. You were thinking
about whatever works for you even though it
was not a necessity for you nor was
it something that was a problem for you.
It's just more
of
So what's best for you to do at
this moment?
For you to repent back to Allah Subhanahu
Wa Ta'ala because indeed your hearts have gone
astray. Your hearts have deviated a little bit.
And if you decide to continue to plot
against him,
Then indeed Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala is his
protector.
Speaking about the Prophet alaihi wa sallam.
The verses that we have here talk about
or show us the love Allah Subhanahu Wa
Ta'ala has for his Prophet alaihis salatu wa
sallam.
Indeed Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala is his protector.
And the Holy Spirit Jibreel.
And the pious amongst the Muslims.
And the angels
after Allah Subhanu wa Ta'ala or after that.
Wawheer.
Waheer
is someone who has your back. That's literally
what it means. Like there's no this is
exactly Waheer is back. Waheer is someone who
has your back. That's exactly what it means.
I mean Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala is his
protector and Jibreel and the pious believers and
the malaika all have his back alayhis salatu
wa salam.
Assarabbuhu,
it is possible that his Lord,
If at some point he ends up divorcing
you and
that he is Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala replaces
you
with spouses for him that are better.
And then Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala points out
the
what men should be looking for when they're
getting married. Muslimatin,
mumminatin,
qani tatin, tahibatin,
abidatin,
saihatin,
tahibatinwabkawa.
If you notice this ayam ends differently than
the ones before it do.
Science within the Quran that is very subtle.
The verses in the Quran, they end with
within a surah. They end similarly.
Right? Similarly. Not always, but similarly. At
the end.
Un or in. Or example, Ara, Ur, Ir.
Something like that. Khabeer. Like like it is.
And then when if you notice every once
in a while you'll find a verse in
the midst of a surah that has the
exact same,
ending of verses. One that's different.
It just stands out. It's not the same
and then you go back again or it
transitions. But here, it's gonna transition. It's like
an I and then after it's gonna be
a little bit different.
These subtle changes within the rhythm of the
verses are there to draw attention to something
else being talked about
or to concluding
a point or to making a separate point.
And and it really there's a there's a
full this is
a study within Urul Qur'an that is
usually for advanced students to look at, but
I find it to be very fascinating and
you'll see it in the Quran a lot.
If you read the Quran a lot,
and if you're someone who does khatma and
I encourage you to do if you don't.
As you do a khatma, have a and
point out 1 if you run into 1.
Like if you're everything is ending here with
this and then this akhir just doesn't end
at the same way. It just it sound
it's different. Just point it out. Ask about
it later. There's always a reason of why
it ends a little bit differently. So here,
Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala if you look at
the verses
they're all ending with
a
after a and then with an alif. So
it sounds different. It's like it's
the reason I'm talking about this because in
poetry, for example, that's not acceptable.
In poetry,
you have to have a First of all,
the rhythm is very rigid and the Quran
does not follow that rigidity. But also the
ending,
the Ardu or the Qafiyyah for any
verse of poetry has to be the same
for any given poem.
The Quran doesn't follow those rules, but Tawab
still were able to recognize that if you
are speaking and there's saja, meaning you are
ending your sentences with similar
endings, when you change, there's a reason for
why you decided to make a change. Because
it's not hard for, you know, there are
many words Allah Subhanahu wa ta'ala used or
many ways to put the sentence where that
didn't have to be the case. Like this
is not
the lack of of linguistic abilities to end
this aya aya similar to those before. This
was ended differently,
specifically for a reason because it's pointing something
out outside of maybe what the rhythm of
the verses were.
The rhythm of the verses up till now
have been talking with the relationship with the
prophet alaihis salawat wa sallam and his spouses.
This one here is not talking about that
because he never actually divorced any of his
wife
It makes you think well this is still
a continuation of what he was talking to
the prophet
about within his own relationships.
If he if he is divorced then Allah
Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala will
substitute or give him spouses that are better
and then he gives all of these, descriptions.
He never did alayhi salatu was salam. This
never happened. Right? Again, the the the the
hypothetical that only Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala can
use and I've talked about this Yani over
the last
few lessons and during Jum'ah that the hypothetical
is something only Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala can
give. But the reason that he gave it
here is really not because we're talking about
the prophet alaihis salam's
issue with his spouse was more for us
to see here's what you should be looking
for.
Here here like a little bit of a
a gem for you outside of the story
of the prophet alaihis salatu wasalam and his
spouses.
That story ended. If
you you you you are encouraged
to
you aneeba, repent back to Allah because your
hearts went astray. If you don't, then Allah
subhanahu wa ta'ala will continue to protect him
and they did. They both repented. We we
we have it on full, you know, credentials
and that that they both repented to Allah
subhanahu wa ta'ala. So why this verse? This
verse is just as a teaching point for
us.
So what's the last two words?
Is a lady who's been married before. Abqara
who's a lady who was never married before.
That's it. And it comes together.
As it could be this or that. Like,
it doesn't matter. Like when you're looking for
a wife, it could be a woman who
was married before or a Mary Lou who
was not married before.
I don't understand. I don't.
The
the custom that the Arabs have and I'm
talking about from my country, so maybe if
you come from an Arab country and you're
different then God bless you and, you know,
congratulations.
But for the rest of us, for a
man who was not married before, to marry
a lady who was married before or vice
versa is like is blasphemy.
It's a form of blasphemy and it's completely
unheard of and it's completely unacceptable
and
it's not I don't understand why. I don't
understand where we got that from. The reason
I'm pointing this out is that a lot
of the culture, the customs
and the norms that we have as Arab
regarding marriage, nothing to do with Islam at
all. They're Victorian.
They're Victorian English. They are taken from a
specific time that the English live by. It
has nothing to do with how our actual
faith works.
And I'm gonna talk about this at some
point inshallah and I can in a separate
lecture, but
the level of conservatism
that some people actually practice in their mind
regarding marriage is not Islamic. Like it really
isn't. It comes from a different culture
and that culture saw the human body as
something that was worthy of being ashamed of
And it saw relationships as being something that
was a curse you had to that you
had to do this. And when you did
this there was no way out, it was
a jail that you were stuck in for
the rest of your life, and that Islam
didn't see it like that. Islam was Marriage
in Islam is much easier.
And when it needs to end, it ends
in a much easier way. And then people
get remarried again much easier. This what we're
really right now, yeah. Unfortunately,
it's not even Islam. It's not even the
other Islamist. Where getting married is
extremely
difficult like it's a painful thing to go
through. And then when you get married and
if it doesn't work out, then you guys
are both miserable.
If you want to end it in a
proper way,
it can't end nicely and quietly. And then
when it does, they both are scarred scared
so they can never get married again in
Yaqi.
This isn't really you a lie. This is
not what it is.
It's absolutely not how things were or should
be.
The Prophet alaihis salaam, when you think about
it, when he married, he was a bikr
alaihis salaam. He was someone never married before,
right? He married Khadija who was married before
him twice.
Now once
she had been married before him twice. She
had children from that marriage who lived with
him in his home. She had 3 sons.
She had 3 sons
that stayed with him. Hind as one of
them. Probably the most famous because he narrated
a lot of the hadith.
Fatima
Fatima and Zaha'alayhi salaam and Zainab al Ruqayyum
Qutbun and Abdullah.
They're half brother or half brothers. The prophet
Alayhi Sala married a lady who had 2
previous marriages.
And out of all of his wives, the
only wife he married who didn't have a
previous marriage was Aisha.
The only one. All of them were married
before. All of them. Either widows or divorcees.
All of them.
The only one who wasn't was Aisha. That's
it.
And I pointed this out at the beginning
of these sessions, so I'm not gonna repeat
it again. But there's a reason why the
prophet, alaihis salam, married multiple wives after Khadija.
Muhammad the man Muhammad
the man married Khadija. That's it. Muhammad the
prophet had multiple
wives for reasons because that's how there was
there was a purpose served for the peninsula
and there's a purpose served for the women
themselves in these marriages. They were Umad and
Mumineen.
The word Umad and Mumineen was not used
during Khadija's life anyways. Like that term was
not known while Khadija was alive.
She was not
no one ever used that term in Mecca
to describe Khadija because that term was not
known. That term was coined during Madinah when
the Prophet alaihis salam had these wives because
it granted them the social, religious, and political
immunity that they would later
need and thrive on and that will allow
Islam actually the narrations that we have to
make it this way. To make it. Like
these stories we would know almost none of
them if that was not the case. If
they were not granted that and you to
speak freely, they would not know what we
know today about the prophet alaihis salatu wasallam.
So he points out and they're just saying,
just pointing that out that we have a
problem with our, you know, with the way
marriage is being approached.
I'm not
encouraging people to take it lightly and for
us to match people with no form
of
insight or presight
with no with no judgment of whether this
is a good match or And I'm saying
that
the amount of scrutiny that it's taking, the
amount of time and money
is way too much.
It's making it too difficult, and that's why
we have our,
our community is filled with people in their
mid twenties, late twenties, early thirties that are
sitting around with no marriage.
I don't understand it because I grew up
in Syria where the only reason a guy
was not married is because he still hadn't
finished his army
time. Like you had to go to the
army. Right? It was 2 years This is
before It was 2 and a half years
for a while, which is a long time.
That's a quarter of a decade you have
to go spend in the army. So then
you're gonna be treated like an animal for
2 and a half years. So guys wouldn't
get married because until they were done. It
also makes no sense. You're gonna leave them
for 2 and a half years. Might as
well do it. Right? Or they were too
poor. The guy is like, I have no
where we're gonna live. I have nowhere to
live. I
live I sleep in a room with 3
people. 3 of my siblings. We have no
way. So it was lack of wealth. Here
there's no
army, at least not if you don't want
to go. And
if you work a I mean,
pre pre COVID. This problem it just would
be pre pre COVID, so I can say
these words like if both of them work
a part time job, they can they can
afford a you know, any
of a small place to live, and they
can they can take care of themselves until
they until they have enough money to actually
get you know, to have children and whatnot.
It's harder now. I understand.
But what we're seeing today is that I
see people in their thirties, and they are
wealthy, and they are
healthy, and they are well off and everything,
and and they're just sitting around with nothing.
And this is not
I can guarantee you. Or I I don't
have to guarantee you. I can tell you
that during the time of the prophet, alayhi
sallahu alaihi wa sallam, the reason one of
the reasons the edda existed, one of the
reasons is so the lady could have time
to process what just happened before 5 or
6 people come start knocking on her door
for marriage.
No one would do that. So she wouldn't
be bothered for 2 to 3 months.
So
no one would come and start asking questions.
She could just kind of exist
and mourn what her husband if he passed
away or you know, deal with the fact
that now she has a different life. You
know, her life is a little different Because
before that she she
was divorced today. The next day someone's She
has a suitor
because it was just much quicker and much
easier. Same thing goes for for young men.
They they wouldn't Once he was capable of
working and he was working and he had
the ability to
They move they move things along.
I don't Not saying that we have to
start at a young age, but I'm saying
that what we're doing right now is not
right. Like the way How long people are
waiting is just It's not healthy. It's not
healthy. It makes it much more difficult for
marriages to actually survive.
So what are the points that he puts
out here, Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala for us and
this ayah that sounds different at the end
of it.
He points out, Muslimatin.
Now, Mu'minatin.
Qanitatin.
Taibatin. Abidat. So he talks about
he talks about 5 aspects of religion. Then
he points out which I'll explain in a
moment. But he probably these 5 aspects of
religion. He's focused subhanahu wa ta'ala.
Or
allow or asking us to focus on the
aspects of the woman that is
directly attached and
correlated with the level of her under of
her iman. A level of her closest to
Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala. She's a Muslim now.
A Muslim is someone who's practicing.
A mumina. That's someone who has clarity in
their theology. Meaning there's someone who actually believe
in Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala. They're not practicing
because that's the inheritance or that's the norm.
They're practicing because that's their understanding of it.
They fully They also embrace it. There are
people who are who grow up in a
family, so they're practicing Muslims, but they don't
actually believe in any of it or they
don't they've never really thought about it that
way. They're just doing what the norm of
of their surroundings are. You don't want someone
like that. You want someone who actually has
a conviction. Like they're convinced this makes sense.
They are part of it, right?
Those who are actually performing their their their
their functions.
Their responsibilities.
Can mean to pray at night. You can
use it that way if you want,
but that's not really
the kaanit is someone who stands
at who continues to do their job for
a long time even when the time is
done. That's a kaanit.
We use it for qiyamilayl
because there's a simile here. Like your salah
finished at Isha but your kaanit you stand
up and prepare longer even though you don't
have to because you want to finish the
job. That's the idea of So when you
say means
someone who will go the extra mile to
get the job done. Someone who is
focused or oriented towards achieving the goal not
just you know, I spent the hour, I'm
done. There
are 2 type of people who do a
job for you. Those who 8 to 5,
once it's 5 they check out regardless of
and then those who will make sure the
task actually gets done.
And in life if you're the Allah subhanahu
wa ta'ala yani but trusts you with people
who just are gonna clock in the time,
then you're gonna be miserable for a very
long time and it's gonna take a while
before you figure things out. You need people
who are task oriented, who are gonna get
the job done. If that means they have
to put in the extra hour or the
extra effort, they'll put in the extra effort.
The practice
piece. The conviction piece.
The effort that they're willing to act they're
actually willing to put in effort.
Means meaning that they do it with the
proper mentality.
Is the biggest word that we have in
our deen to explain who we are as
human beings, but
here is referring
to the emotional piece. You see, Ubudiyyah in
Arabic language is one of the levels of
love. It's one of
the degrees of love. When we use the
word, it's actually that's where that's where it
came from. It came from the concept of
love. There's like 15 different degrees of love
and a buddhiyah is one of the highest
ones if not if not the highest one
of all. It's where you become to you're
in the position where you're humble.
Where your love your emotion you have you
have love but you also have humbleness.
So Abidat here is post pointing out two
aspects of of this of her character.
First of all that she is someone who
has the ability to love. She's she has
that and she is humble.
She has humble and she has humility.
That is an amazing
That's a very very good
combo to have. Love without tumbleness turns into
the opposite of what we talked about in
the verses before. Right?
And without love, it doesn't Without that emotional
peace doesn't work out. So practicing
with proper conviction.
Someone who's task oriented who gets the job
done. Someone who is ethically both intact, humble,
and has the emotion.
I think
Sorry I missed out the
taibat. Taibat which is the repental piece. The
piece of repentance. Taaiba doesn't mean
that they just repent back to Allah subhanahu
wa'an. Taaiba means they have the ability to
recognize when they make a mistake and they
can fix it.
This is a personality trait. It's a personality
trait. That someone can recognize when they did
something wrong and they can go back and
they can fix it. And they're willing to
admit when they're wrong.
This is a big deal in life. In
life in general. If you have the ability
if you don't have the ability to do
this, this is a problem. If you don't
have the ability to recognize and admit that
when you were
wrong. Like I said, if you're always going
to be right, then we're not going to
get anywhere. Yeah. Ta'i'baat. You have to be
someone who's capable of
recognizing a mistake and fixing it. Sa'ihatin.
Sa'ihatin.
We use the word siahad to talk about
tourism. Right? So asaiyah is a tourist
and it's a figure of speech. The word
saiyah means someone
who is flexible.
Not physically but
psychologically and mentally.
Someone who can move from one position to
the other. Someone who is not fixed or
fixated.
Someone who is capable of when things need
to be different or we need to make
an adjustment or we need to move from
one place to the other. It's used to
talk about moving from one place to the
other in a very easy way. That's how
we That's how the the word tourism It
became how we used to talk about tourism
because you're moving in a very easy flow
physically, but it's actually The actual meaning for
it is not really physical, it's more mental.
Meaning you're someone who's capable, who's easy going,
who will move from one position to the
other. It's not a problem. When there's adjustments
needed, adjustments are needed. It's not gonna be
a wall. This is impossible. We'll never do
this. We can't do this. No. We have
that flexibility.
This is what Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala is
telling you as a Muslim person when you're
looking for a spouse to look for. You
look for someone with a bunch of personality
traits. Right? It's really Everything else doesn't like
if you think about it, like he didn't
talk about Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala here about wealth.
He didn't talk about beauty. He didn't talk
about
academics, he didn't talk about he talked about
the person because when in order for a
marriage to work, none of that matters.
People who are married know this. As long
as you have enough food to eat that
night and you're living in a house so
you're not sleeping outside in the open and
you're not exposed, then what matters is none
of that stuff. What matters is the personality
of the 2 people who are in this
relationship.
The practicing piece.
The conviction.
The willingness to get the task done. To
put in the extra effort.
The ability to admit when they're wrong when
someone's wrong and and to fix a mistake.
Right?
The humbleness and the emotional piece be there.
The flexibility, the mental and psychological flexibility and
easy going. You have these 6 and then
Some married before. Some
were not married before. Doesn't matter. Like you'll
find both are fine. Like this is the
only
the only one where he put the 2
opposites is here. All of the rest of
the verses, all of the rest of the
descriptions or
the adjectives
are just are adding upon each other. The
ones that are opposite are and
Abkar opposite. He doesn't think of that because
it doesn't matter. Saying you can do this
or this.
That shouldn't be a criteria for you. Like
whether she's married before or not married before
that you can both are fine. Both are
khair. It doesn't matter. What you should be
looking for is understand
what this means. And then when you have
as a man, I'm telling you this as
a man. It works both ways which is
why this is cool,
which is why this I is ends differently.
It works both ways. Meaning, as I tell
you as a young man, if you're looking
for a marriage to look for these things,
Look for these traits in the person that
you want to get married to. As a
woman, you should look for something similar. Now
why is talked about women specifically? Because the
woman has to look for a few more
things.
It's not just an It's not enough for
him just to be Muslim.
No. No. He also has to be able
to provide.
He also has to be financially responsible.
He also has to Yeah. There's a few
other traits that a man needs in order
for a woman to be okay with it.
There's a little bit more there. And usually,
the woman on her own to judge that
is she needs some help. Like, she needs
a man to kind of help with that
piece, like to give she she needs a
wedding. She needs a father or a brother,
someone a man that she respects and loves
and who cares for her life to kind
of size up the guy first. It's it's
not it's
it's not it's not it's not easy to
do alone. Men are very good at deceit.
They're very good. Very good at putting up.
They're amazing.
This
is literally It comes by nature.
It requires no training.
There's no handbook. It just happens. Men just
know how to do. So you need another
man to size someone up when it comes
to this stuff. When a man is looking
for marriage, this is what you look for.
You look for these traits. These 6 that
Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala. And then the iibaati
waqara, whether they're married before or not. That's
not that's not the deal breaker.
And and I find that we we don't,
not only are we not searching for these
things properly,
for when young men are getting married,
we're also not focusing on these traits when
we're
raising our young ones. We're raising people so
that they're ready to get married. We're not
focused on these issues,
on the practice and on the conviction
and on the, Yani, the, the ownership. The
task oriented is the ownership that you feel
like this is my I have to get
this done. This is my job. Whether I
have to whether I get it done during
the regular hours or I have to wait
later. It doesn't matter. It's my responsibility to
get it done. You need someone who feels
responsible for things that they actually take ownership
on.
People who are willing to make admit their
mistakes. People are willing
to be humble and to show emotion and
be vulnerable. Those who are willing
to be flexible when things change in the
world or life changes or it's not the
same. They're not gonna be as comfortable as
they was as they were before. They have
to Then they're willing to do that. This
is important. This is what life is. This
is what life is.
This is what life provides you, provides all
of us, and it's just a matter of
time if you're in a position where you
don't it's just a matter of time before
that becomes the
the norm. Alright. So that's the first five
verses of Surat Al Taherim. They offer us
a little bit of a microscopic,
view of the prophet alaihis salatu wa sallam's
in yeah, any intricate
and interpersonal
relationships he had with his spouses.
It teaches a couple of lessons. It points
something out
for
for his status, alaihis salazar. It points something
out for us when we are looking for
marriage, what exactly we should be looking for
in terms of other people's and people's traits.
Now the verses, kind of take a little
bit of shift. I'm gonna I think we
have a few minutes to read to read
the 5th and I'll talk about it a
little bit until it's Isha and then we'll
continue talking about it next week insha Allah.
So the build up of this whole surah
was for this ayah. This is the central
ayah within the surah for sure. There's a
lot of lessons coming up, but this is
the central verse in the surah. And Surah
have central verses and some some of them
are designed that way and some of them
are not and this one is.
Here's the final line or the bottom line
that you have to learn from when it
comes to family.
All those who believe
comes from the
root of Taqwa. It's the same it's the
same root. Taqwa is to prevent. It comes
from waka.
Right? Waka
is to protect. So taqwa is the concept
of protection and preventativeness.
It has both meanings within it. And we
talked about that in some degree of detail
in Surat Al Talaq.
So wakaa is the root of the concept
of taqwa.
When you use it as a, as a
verb in the past tense, wakaa to protect.
Yeah. Yakri is to protect in the present
tense. If I'm going to command you to
protect yourself, I will say
I was It's just aqaaf with a kasra
on it. And there's like a bunch of
words in the Arabic language that when they
are command,
it can turn just into a letter. And
there's a known poet who put them all
together in a few verses of poetry. Maybe
I'll share with them one day. But, so
this is one of them. Is to protect
yourself.
Is the plural.
So means protect.
Protect yourselves
and your families.
Is not your parents.
In Arabic is your spouse and children.
Right? It's not your parents.
Now it's not wrong to add a hadith,
add them to this. It's not like a
It's not it's not And we'll see, but
if you do it again in certain contexts,
I can It can make some sense, but
for sure here it's not.
It doesn't fit the context and the word
itself,
I'm going back to my wife. If you
say, you're not married,
you're lying.
If you say in Arabic, in the Arabic
language Fos'a, if I say, if you say
I'm going to Azul Ahli and you're not
married, then you're lying. You're going to
visit your wife. That's what Ahli means. And
all the and brothers from from Khaleed use
this term appropriately. Like the brothers from Saudi
Arabia, they say it correctly. Mahana, the people
from Syria, we say it wrong. Ahli are
my parents. It's wrong. Ahli
is your wife and your children and that's
just the Arabic usage of the word. Just
to understand like it's okay. You can continue
to use it that way in slang, but
as long as you understand what it means
in the Quran appropriately. So
protect yourselves
and your families.
From a fire.
Fueled
by people and rock.
Upon it
are angels of God.
That are
ferocious.
Shidad, extremely powerful.
They do not disobey Allah regardless of what
he commands them to do.
And they perform the
tasks that they are asked to perform or
commanded to perform.
So a couple of verses A couple of
descriptions here at the end are focused on
the malaika that are standing in front of
jahannam.
Why? Just in case Now the command is
simple.
Protect yourselves and your family from a fire.
And just in case you don't understand what
this fire is, he just gives you a
quick description
of the ones that are responsible
for gatekeeping
without going inside and see what's inside. Here
what the gatekeepers look like just so I
understand.
And we'll talk