Adnan Rajeh – Achieve the Balance Between Leadership and Abuse of Power

Adnan Rajeh
Share Page

AI: Summary ©

The speakers discuss the responsibility of women, caregivers, leaders, and individuals to take care of loved ones' well-being, including domestic violence and domestic abuse. They emphasize the importance of respecting privacy and privacy concerns and bringing people who are qualified to fix problems. The speakers also emphasize the need for effective communication and engagement to prevent negative consequences and address privacy concerns. Additionally, they mention a video where a man named Mr. Weaver talks about his success in meeting God and his struggles with alcohol and drugs.

AI: Summary ©

00:00:01 --> 00:00:03
			Allahu Akbar Allahu Akbar
		
00:00:06 --> 00:00:06
			Allahu
		
00:00:08 --> 00:00:16
			Akbar all battle
		
00:00:18 --> 00:00:19
			shadow
		
00:00:24 --> 00:00:28
			or
		
00:00:32 --> 00:00:33
			should one
		
00:00:40 --> 00:00:46
			all
		
00:00:48 --> 00:00:58
			should one more Hi I'm Madonna rasuna blog all
		
00:01:02 --> 00:01:04
			shared one
		
00:01:10 --> 00:01:15
			off all
		
00:01:18 --> 00:01:18
			y'all
		
00:01:26 --> 00:01:27
			are y'all
		
00:01:31 --> 00:01:36
			hola
		
00:01:39 --> 00:01:39
			y'all
		
00:01:48 --> 00:01:48
			y'all
		
00:01:52 --> 00:01:59
			bla
		
00:02:01 --> 00:02:09
			long work models on all
		
00:02:15 --> 00:02:17
			Isla
		
00:02:19 --> 00:02:24
			all
		
00:02:34 --> 00:02:36
			hamdulillah Al Hamdulillah
		
00:02:38 --> 00:02:44
			Al Hamdulillah Hina Madhu who want to stay you know who want to study he want to still feel all who
want to stung Cyril
		
00:02:45 --> 00:02:56
			when I will be loved him in short order fusina Women say Dr. Merlino mejor de la who further Malala
on my yoke. Lil Phelan Taiji de la humare yum Murshida.
		
00:02:57 --> 00:03:27
			Wash her to Allah, Allah illallah wa de hula sciatica. Yeah Hanwha hidden heard on some other than
yet died. Sahiba 10 Walla Walla Walla, Mia Kula who won a HUD watch her do Ananda Jana la vie mana
Mohan Medan Abdullah he will assume well Sophie you home and up your hubby Allahumma salli wa sallim
wa barik ala Nabina Muhammad Medina. Lee he was so happy he Jemaine well bad.
		
00:03:28 --> 00:03:40
			Yeah Oh Jalla Jalla Lu who famous comic Iturbi a region over Munna Island Nisa, edema football
Allah, Allah Allahu Allah whom Allah but I'll do what Bhima and the federal minimum worldly him
		
00:03:42 --> 00:03:53
			the Hotbird. Today, it's actually a hotbed that's going to be given or has been given all across the
city and all major centers is something that was organized by the Council of Imams,
		
00:03:54 --> 00:04:07
			and is going to address the current the issue or the problem of domestic violence. And within the
series of what was that I started a number of weeks ago, maybe actually two months ago now a little
bit more is the 16. Kottbusser is more than that.
		
00:04:08 --> 00:04:14
			The series that I began is the goal of it is to achieve the balance. And honestly it's a little bit
of a
		
00:04:16 --> 00:04:42
			trick series because I can fit anything into this. You can I can I can ask you give me the topic and
I'll fit it into the series no problem at all. Every aspect of Islamic law, every aspect of Islamic
practice is subject to the concept of achieving the balance of achieving the concept of moderation
or Martin vasa. Everything in his time is subject to that nothing in his time is actually outside of
that scope.
		
00:04:43 --> 00:05:00
			The concept today I think, is best addressed to the following form at least here's how I'm going to
address it. Allah Subhana Allah to Allah and sort of the Nyssa and in many other parts of the Quran
and throat the Prophet, the prophetic tradition, tradition that we have meaning the wording and
things of the prophets of Allah Allah Islam us
		
00:05:00 --> 00:05:38
			LM Regina a woman men are responsible Allameh the concept of Kawana is the fact that you are put in
charge. You are responsible, you're the caregiver, you're accountable for the family that Allah
subhanaw taala has entrusted you with. That's the concept of Allama within the Quran, and this is
not debatable. This is how the deen works. This is a part of Islam. This is what the Prophet alayhi
salatu salam preached, this is more importantly, what he practiced Ali Asad twisted him. And this is
what Allah subhanho wa Taala has made very clear in the Quran, as a man, you're responsible, you're
accountable, and you use the word a one and it comes from the concept of a museum, a car masala,
		
00:05:38 --> 00:05:55
			what kind of solar mean? You establish something you do it well, you feel you understand that you're
accountable for it, that you're responsible for it, it's not just you do it and you walk away, you
expect things just to fall in their places on their own, someone else would be taking care of that?
No, you are, you're the one who's responsible to make sure everything actually falls into places.
		
00:05:56 --> 00:06:07
			That's where the Prophet alayhi salatu salam and the very famous Hadith that everyone here is very
much aware of and knows and memorize as a child, go look Amala and he will say Alia Sato something
to say, Hey, call Luke O'Brien were called Local Misool.
		
00:06:08 --> 00:06:40
			You stick to that first, just those four first four words and you'll understand the depth of this
hadith you are all RWA ally in Arabic is not really a shepherd even though that's how we use what we
use it for. Because it's just became it became the use the most common usage of the word. But that's
not the actual meaning of it, the meaning of his caregiver, right is a caregiver a sponsor. That's
what it means go look, I'm Ron, you're all caregivers, well could look homeschooled, and you're all
responsible, or you're all going to be accountable for those who are put with interest you're
entrusted with, to care for and take care of.
		
00:06:41 --> 00:06:55
			And the Hadith actually, just to make this and hopefully easier for me, the Hadith actually
addresses this topic specifically, we're gonna look at you are all responsible for those who you're
entrusted to take care of. And then he gives the example for Roger, Lulu, and Lily, almost a Yeti.
		
00:06:59 --> 00:07:29
			Yeti until the end of the Hadith, and Amanda is responsible within his family and responsible for
their well being, He is their caregiver, the moment you get married, your life is significantly less
valuable than the people in your home. You don't like it, don't get married. That's your problem.
But if you're a man, man, and you're gonna get married, that is the agreement that you're walking
into. Now, they're more important, now you're tying your wealth, your energy is deserved them is to
take care of them. That's why you're a man. That's why That's why you're overwhelmed. That's the
point of it. And the lady is also right, she is responsible for
		
00:07:30 --> 00:07:42
			for other parts of the of this of this equation. That goes without too much. I don't need to spend
too much time talking about that piece. The fact that a man is a worm, the fact that the man is
responsible is accountable. He's the caregiver.
		
00:07:43 --> 00:08:22
			The problem with this concept, and this is a problem that's not just specific to domestic violence.
This is a problem that I find all across the board in general, outside of the dean, it's just a
problem that we have, where we confuse responsibility and leadership. With control. We can't seem to
understand that they're not always if you own a company, it's your company, then yes, you control
it, it's your company, you own it. You don't own the people who live in your home, you don't own
your wife, you don't own your children. You don't own the people who work under you at your school
or whatever educational institution you work at. You don't own the people who you're put as a
		
00:08:22 --> 00:08:57
			manager of within the company that you work, you don't own the staff as a physician working in a
clinic, you don't own them. It is not yours. You are responsible for them. Yes, you are in charge,
you are the leader. But leadership does not mean ownership and does not mean control. And I've spent
so much time of my life talking about this, that I'm tired of it. I'm tired of talking about it. I
don't know if we're ever going to come to the point where we fully understand that they're not the
same thing. The one who controls is Allah subhanaw taala he controls, he controls everything. He is
the one with the kept very gentle, gentle, gentle Hazel Kahal he coerces everything to his will
		
00:08:58 --> 00:09:32
			however he wants, whenever he wants some I know data why? Because he is God. You and I are servants.
We are not. We are not in control of other people we are there as caregivers and caregiving without
control is actually the conundrum that if you don't understand you understand what it means to be a
human being, which is one of the which was supposed to be the final hope of that I gave him the
series. By the way, if you're gonna understand stewardship is to love and or booty or service, if
you can understand them together, no one without the other than you can be a Muslim. And if you
don't understand them together, then you will always fail. It's just a matter of how you're going to
		
00:09:32 --> 00:09:55
			fail. If you're just a servant, and you don't feel responsible, you're not a caregiver, then you're
weak, and you're not actually making things happen, and everything will crumble around you. And if
you're in McDonald's, if you feel responsible if you feel that you're a believer, if you're a
steward, but you don't understand that you're there to serve you become a control freak. And all
that you care about is everyone doing exactly what you want and you struggle as well and you ruin
things anyways.
		
00:09:56 --> 00:10:00
			This is the balance that we have to learn to achieve here. And the reason that
		
00:10:00 --> 00:10:36
			there's hope. And he needs to be given across the city is because for us people who sit in my
session, and whether we like it or not whether we are qualified or not, for that matter, and I'm not
qualified, so please don't come to me with your marriage problems. I am not qualified by any means
by any stretch of the imagination to give you ever any form of advice on what to do with your
marriage at all. I am not qualified at all. You need to go to people who are but what, regardless
whether we are or we were not, people come and say things to us, and I have to listen. And the
prevalence of domestic abuse and domestic violence in homes has in my just in my 10 years of being
		
00:10:36 --> 00:10:59
			here has skyrocketed, meaning I hear more of it every day. And I have to deal with more of it every
single day. I didn't I didn't see maybe I wasn't, maybe not as many people came to me at the
beginning. So I may be wrong with giving this statistic. But that's what I felt over the last number
of years, there has been a change in the prevalence, the frequency of these problems coming coming
to light, which is why I think this clip was actually very, very important that we talked about.
		
00:11:00 --> 00:11:38
			I don't think men is just taught being a one moon No, because that's a Quranic concept. You have to
be alone. You have to raise your male children to understand the kalam you're responsible. You're a
caregiver, you're accountable, you have to be a leader. But you also have to explain that doesn't
mean the following. It doesn't mean that you control it doesn't mean that you're allowed to abuse
your power or abuse. Whatever power differential exists in your life. You're not allowed to do that
piece that piece. You're actually which is the whole point of us talking about this 2018 Hopefully
I'm hooked by Murphy Medina to London kulula M. Murphy Jamia and masajid Celeborn I must admit in
		
00:11:39 --> 00:11:43
			Tanzania, measures to The MFE add in Medina, well, Hadith.
		
00:11:44 --> 00:11:49
			And in other elmen zd Hola, le y de Kalia
		
00:11:50 --> 00:11:51
			on your A to
		
00:11:53 --> 00:12:03
			D either Hulusi whatever Tura Phil Mr. Morris will appear when others to only move your honey
bourbon Lisa nd in Kenny yet.
		
00:12:04 --> 00:12:09
			We'll assume we'll double Robin Lee APA II What is that in those? Hey Lynmouth so rejean
		
00:12:10 --> 00:12:21
			Shukla Moleskines teeny moto which was always ready to help with many news analysts and Leota and
those of you who missed a little clock and not gonna nest at any less time Yeah, well I've got the
FASD ad
		
00:12:23 --> 00:12:52
			for the UFC is the ad should eat well done been a nurse but have not been in the habit of Miss Ella
and why you feel sorry for the time will be meaningless. Well hip and update the Hadith in Miss Ella
do not totally healthy and not modular a woman fee beta here. Oh Julia honey for worm Heather
nostril Quran Hi there. Allah He said Allah Allah, Allah ma, Hakka alumina Raukawa on feed at lac in
LA the
		
00:12:55 --> 00:13:02
			LA yes hematoma Man Man Alcoa Juanita for him haha let me with him. How will the hara human human
man you see it was
		
00:13:03 --> 00:13:35
			a woman who wanted Massoud awam all of these to use and a Hawaii mocha in medicine that is to use a
law and a Hawaiian law at Latina Manor whom Allahu Allah him. Allah subhanaw taala step Monica
Ehrlich, Monica Lee him, a woman named Amanda, Amanda and to ADIA and to ADIA Isla Sahibi her was
our Hebrew her who Allah subhanahu wa Tada Fabula Kawashima But Li Mo Condesa for Deen. They are
used with Lacan and Yahushua a swatch that hoodoo Kurama terminological
		
00:13:37 --> 00:14:02
			awam worm like in Nicola Luca says the farmer manual column for the month and the coma he has dotcom
well he had to say look, we're here to juggle while we're in the terminal terminal illness How would
a nursery baby go home from National Milk and yeah he there for Dr. Shetty care for the milk if I'll
be hammer shit. He actually took Lachenal bait and nursery basic Latinas to America who I didn't
hold at least to me.
		
00:14:03 --> 00:14:06
			And I just had to coax me to get hula in Africa Dalek
		
00:14:07 --> 00:14:09
			by the called the hula sheath in millimolar jam.
		
00:14:11 --> 00:14:13
			So what I'm going to try and do today
		
00:14:15 --> 00:14:55
			is shed the light a little bit on how maybe this has been misunderstood and mis practiced by Muslims
over the years. Let's take a look at the Prophet Alayhi Salatu was Salam for a moment. The Crusader
actually the hadith is generated in the collection of old old Barlet Merle barraba Rasulullah
sallallahu alayhi wa early he was a llama che and Brd he cooked lamb Ratan wala heard him and he
learned Yuja he the visa vie de la brava Allah he says I've never ever in his life ever raised his
hand and hit anyone, anyone at all. Not a woman, not a child, not a serpent no one except if he is
standing in battle and he's fighting his enemy. Otherwise his head never was risen and hit any
		
00:14:55 --> 00:14:59
			banana. Anyone at all. So Allahu Allahu alayhi salatu salam, his sunnah Farah
		
00:15:00 --> 00:15:22
			Lee I mean, what he does in his life audio is much more important and it's much more descriptive
than anything you will hear he's him say Alia salatu salam, this is the reality of how he lived. He
would say Alia salatu salam, Hadith Imam Timothy and it's also so how Eurocom how you will commonly
Ali, he went to hydrocone Ali, the best of you are the best of you towards their families. Actually,
he is not his parents.
		
00:15:23 --> 00:15:57
			I held us in Arabic does not mean your parents. Those are why the deen is your wife, specifically
your wife and anyone who's descended from your wife. That's what the word means. Go to any part of
the Arabic world, especially in the college and say they understand what you're talking about their
wives, you're not talking about their parents. So this hadith is specifically talking but the best
of you or the best of you towards your spouse is and I am the best of you towards mine. So Allah
Allah Samuel Selim as I would explain, guide me and at early he was like when I know who you are
Kurosu Delgado you haven't seen it was all about yellow car with elbow alley. It's awesome
		
00:15:57 --> 00:16:33
			throughout the time that he was not in domestic teaching or out there struggling or striving for the
sake of Allah. He was in his house, he was cleaning his home. He was sewing any any, any openings in
his in his in his clothing. He was fixing shoes, he would take care of his family on a hillside to
us and this is how he lived his life. He passed away out of here salatu salam. And the last thing
that we have recorded is the last thing we have recorded in the collection over there as well and
this has been measured and others. The last thing we had him say this is not the hazratullah even
though in these Farewell Sermon, he said it too. He said it in the Farewell Sermon as well. When he
		
00:16:33 --> 00:17:08
			spoke to 100,000 people he got on the member and he's talked about this concept as well. But he said
it again meaning three days before he passed away, he was too tired and too sick to actually get the
action carried him and put him on the member. So he could say a few words in amongst the things he
said but it is still so Ben Nisa Hira that's in the for him by the way that those two wordings
specifically from that hold above the rest are have less authenticity. But still Zubin. Nisa is
clever, meaning my final request to you, my will see you. I'm going to be quizzed something I want
you to do something I'm not leaving money. I'm not talking about the distribution of wealth. What I
		
00:17:08 --> 00:17:42
			have to leave with you is that treat your women and the women in your life to the best of your
abilities call you with the best that you've got. What's the best that you have? Treat them with the
best you have? And then he was explaining the Farewell Sermon, you would actually go beyond that.
The thought of no no I won in the calm ladies that am lacuna. This is what he said Lisa totally
cool. I mean when she and hyaluronic hears the words he used to hear Serato so they are there they
stand by you. They support you they aid you. You will own nothing of them aside from that that's
what he said lady said to me, can you own nothing? You don't own them? They're not yours. They're
		
00:17:42 --> 00:17:43
			not you can't if you can't get
		
00:17:45 --> 00:17:58
			in number two Munna became became Atilla was deathly ill tomorrow, Johanna the Adela. You have taken
them into your lives with the Word of God. And they are now you're highlighted with the covenant of
God,
		
00:17:59 --> 00:18:40
			your wife in your house. The only reason you have access to this person is because Allah subhanaw
taala through Allah's word and through Allah's covenant, and you're going to be accountable to his
word and to His covenant SubhanaHu wa Tada Wow, she wouldn't have been my roof. Wow, she wouldn't
build a model for inquiry to Munna fossa and Takara. Who che wager Allah Allah Who fee hailing
cathedra and treat them with my roof. Treat them with the best of behavior that you have. And if you
dislike them, if you're married to someone who you don't like them. Well, you know, the verses that
come after that we use it all the time, but never for marriage. Oh, god forbid we ever use it for
		
00:18:40 --> 00:19:03
			marriage. God forbid a man come and says I don't like my wife. And we'll be willing for him to use
that idea for marriage where it was actually used. No, no, no, he'll use it for something else. Use
it for nothing. But now for his marriage for his marriage. No, no, I have no, it's very weird. This
IFRS and Tuckahoe che You may hate something. But Allah put a lot of hate in it. We'll use it for
everything but not for marriage, where it was actually used to begin with.
		
00:19:04 --> 00:19:22
			Men come to me so I don't like my wife. I don't care. I don't love her don't care either. We don't
get along. Doesn't matter. We don't have the same I love that piece where we don't. We don't connect
physically. Philosophically. What are you talking about? What is this? You don't connect? What do
you tell? What is it you don't connect?
		
00:19:23 --> 00:19:25
			What you need, you're just looking for a way out.
		
00:19:26 --> 00:19:59
			You're looking for a way out at least be honest about it. At least we know she's your wife, keys
your wife. Allah has covenants and put her in your house, take care of her, suck it up and take care
of her. And if you decide to be abusive, it's done allows zero abuse in this world zero. If you
abuse somebody you go to jail. If a lady goes to A to A to an Islamic judge in shows any sign of
being physically harmed, the man goes to jail. When you read the verses of the Quran that talk that
have a part of it. That's what this is talking about.
		
00:20:00 --> 00:20:15
			something very specific. The context here is for most people completely lost. It is not a green card
to beat on somebody at all never has been and never will be. This is talking about the final way to
hold on to a marriage that is falling to pieces because of lack of loyalty.
		
00:20:16 --> 00:20:49
			When there's no shoes, when there's lack of loyalty, you do whatever you give the best piece of
advice you can with the most tenderly doesn't work, then you leave you leave the room. And then if
not, then felt the evil one. And when you use the word in the Quran, how did how did you buy some
practice this will have to be ethical dilemmas and he took a few pieces of grass, the Prophet said
with his luck with the miswak it's a top it's a reminder that this we're going to end the marriage,
the measure will end do you want it to end because you're not allowed as a man to abuse verbally, if
you look at the verses, whereas it allowed for you to raise your voice on your wife, or to mistreat
		
00:20:49 --> 00:21:08
			her to call her names or to call her family names to say things that are demeaning, Nowhere. Nowhere
you say a lot, which is the nicest and easiest. What I'm doing right now is not my way. I'm being
way too aggressive for this to be more or less easy. It's simple, it's open hearted, and if you
can't get it done that way you close your mouth. You don't say anything else.
		
00:21:09 --> 00:21:19
			We have a lack of understanding of what Allah subhanaw taala actually is asking us to do. Hola.
Hola. Hi, that was toasted. Hola. Hi, Lea welcome. First of all, we have para la comida Fosun
mustafina stockfeed Omar.
		
00:21:32 --> 00:21:41
			Alhamdulillah wa sallahu wa salam, O Allah, Allah, Allah, Allah de vida, while early he was so happy
he or Manitoba home? Well, if I had
		
00:21:43 --> 00:22:08
			one of my teachers once was sitting, and a student of his I was doing I was reciting the Quran, a
student of him should really be a little humble. He came by him and just to complain to his chair
about his wife. He was maybe a year into his marriage was complaining to him and complaining about
problems and this and that. So they asked him a question. I'll never forget this because I was young
at the time. He said, Yeah, if we learn, does she say La Ilaha illa Allah, Muhammad Rasool Allah,
did she say that, but
		
00:22:10 --> 00:22:42
			he said, he said something worse than that, get lost, get up, get up and go home and go figure it
out with your wife. She says that, you know, while you're lucky, you have someone in your house who
believes in Allah, Allah, Allah, Allah, you're You're lucky that you have someone who still believes
in that same has that same mentality has the same values working out, we are not doing a very good
job at this. And this is not the point of this hotbar. The point of this talk was to talk about
abuse, abuse, whether it's verbal abuse, whether it's emotional abuse, whether it's financial abuse,
whether it's physical abuse, and his time is completely unacceptable. undisputedly there's no
		
00:22:42 --> 00:23:00
			balance for this one. For this one, there is no balance, you are not allowed to abuse the anyone,
specifically not the person that Allah subhanaw taala has put in your home as a covenant between you
and him to take care of, you're going to be responsible, you're welcome. I mean, us? Did you take
care of this person? You're gonna come and say, What?
		
00:23:01 --> 00:23:29
			What are you going to tell him? subhanho? wa taala? If he asked you, are you You take care of them.
And you have you spent most of your life abusing them, mistreating them, how are you going to defend
yourself on the day of judgment, but if you don't care about the Day of Judgment, you can do it
anyways? Well, then that has to be addressed in dunya. Because no one should be living in an abusive
relationship, regardless of anything. Just like you would not want your daughter to be in abusive
relationship to be in an abusive relationship, make sure that you're not a part of an abusive
relationship to just like, you wouldn't want it for you. And if your children just like you wouldn't
		
00:23:29 --> 00:23:59
			want it for your mother, just like you wouldn't want it for your sister or anyone else. Why would
you allow it for yourself, I'm gonna give five points that I think are worthy of remembering. Number
one, we just spread awareness on the problem of domestic violence. It is there, it exists in our
society, we are not the only society that has it. Every society has it. And we don't have a higher
prevalence in our society, by the way than other societies. I don't care about other societies right
now I'm speaking to my own, I'm speaking to my own community, I think this has has to be this has to
be something that is addressed within our own community, every society will find a way to address
		
00:23:59 --> 00:24:34
			their problems. But for us, we have to find a way to address it. Because it's something that is
there. And if you are not a part of it, then hamdulillah that's a big blessing, but it exists around
you. And I'm pretty sure everyone sitting here knows at least one relationship where some form of
abuse is occurring. So we need to raise awareness on this issue. Number two, know the signs, know
the signs and the symptoms of someone who's being abused. Make sure you learn about these things,
make sure you can see them. Make sure you can pay attention because people who are living in abusive
relationships, find it difficult. Most of the time, we'll find it difficult to come forward and talk
		
00:24:34 --> 00:24:54
			about these things. We'll find it hard to actually come and bring it up because there's a lot that
goes into this. This is her family. This is her household. These are her children. This is her
future. It's very hard to bring these things up. So if you're someone you're a friend and you see
it, then you have to learn to read the signs to see them so that you can offer the number three,
we're offering help, you must offer help.
		
00:24:55 --> 00:24:59
			Help does not come in the form of ruining a family. It doesn't come in the form
		
00:25:00 --> 00:25:36
			Have going personally after the other party, it comes in the form of bringing this to the attention
of those who can actually fix these problems, who can address them professionally, whether it's
governmental facilities or as the MRC, you hear, for us, you need to find people who can actually
help others, I find that a lot of individuals who get involved in these problems make it personal,
and becomes a personal vendetta. That's not what these that's not what you're supposed to do. If
you, if you observe a relationship that has some form of abuse, you are not allowed to go around and
actually, and return the abuse or start ruining, you're supposed to bring this to those who can
		
00:25:36 --> 00:26:13
			address it appropriately. And we have those parties in the city. And in the country, there are those
who can help people who are living in distress and living in difficulty. Quite often, when people
who are not qualified, don't have the knowledge and don't have the expertise, try to mingle or put
themselves within a domestic dispute only make things worse. This is this is just the reality of the
matter. If you don't know what you're doing, you're most likely going to make the situation worse,
it's important that you respect people's autonomy. And it's important that you bring people who are
actually qualified to fix problems. Number three, number four, sorry, the people who suffer the most
		
00:26:13 --> 00:26:51
			with domestic violence or the children not to take down or not to be little or to run down or to
wash down for water down the impact domestic violence has on the receiving or the recipient of it.
Not at all. Obviously, that is horrific. But what we don't realize sometimes in households, when
domestic abuse or violence occurs in any form, or manner, if it's not physical, and it's just if
it's verbal, or financial or emotional, that children suffer with this. You don't know that though,
because children are very good at hiding their emotions. Children are very good at zoning things out
just putting some white noise between them, but it affects them, it affects them to their core. And
		
00:26:51 --> 00:27:23
			it affects them so badly that you can only see it maybe 1015 years later, and their relationships
and their social relationships and their ability to actually thrive in life. This is a fact this is
not we don't need it, we have statistics on it, but you don't need them. This is a fact of the
matter. When a when domestic violence of any sort occurs, the children pay the heaviest taxation for
it, obviously, the person who's being abused as being mistreated, but the child is the one who's
paying for it, that the silent. They're the ones in silence being being being hurt by this.
		
00:27:24 --> 00:27:55
			It's very selfish when we don't figure out ways to fix our problems, very selfish when we seek when
we find ourselves in a relationship or being abused. And we don't take action, because it's not
about you anymore. Sometimes sisters will say, Well, you know what, if it's just about me, I'll put
up with it. It's not about you. If you have children, it's not about you. It's about the children as
well. So if you're putting up with something that you shouldn't put up with, by the way, realize
that you're actually subjecting your children to a lot of trauma and a lot of an icy it's and I can
easily I can easily tell you, a child who has been through it not hard, I work with children all
		
00:27:55 --> 00:28:33
			day. All I have it with them for half an hour, I can tell you which one has seen trauma, it comes
off in the way they speak and the way they sit in the way they carry themselves, the way they walk.
It affects their potential, it affects their ability to solve problems, it affects every aspect of
their development. So be very careful about this. And number five, families are the cornerstone of
any society, the Muslim ummah, is just collective families. That's all it is. The most of them are
just all the families, the moment the family stops existing, the moment the family is not strong
anymore, the moment the family is no longer functional, there is no man anymore. Just simple to
		
00:28:33 --> 00:29:07
			simple as that. So this is something we need to address, we need to bring back the wellness of our
families. One of the most important things we need to remove in order for families to be well, we
need to remove any remnants of domestic violence that exists within it. It's very important. If you
are struggling, or someone you know is struggling, this is a good time for you to bring this
forward. It's important for you to go and seek help for others or yourself and learn so that you
don't fall into this trap. Because the moment you fall into it, it's hard to get out. And you can
ruin your life and the life of others as well. And it goes against everything. The Prophet Allah
		
00:29:07 --> 00:29:38
			yourself, Sam did, it goes against everything the Prophet sallallahu wasallam taught and it goes
against the Quran itself. It goes against what the client is teaching you, as you want to beat him
out of that is your command, you're commanded to treat them with the best of behavior, that was the
best you've got. That's what you bring forward. Why? Because you're a one because you're
responsible. You're not here to control. We're not here to control. We're not here to force and
coerce people to do anything. We are here to serve them to take care of them and know that we're
responsible for their well being at the end. And if that can be understood by Muslims, male and
		
00:29:38 --> 00:29:48
			female, then we may have still have a chance. If we can understand that as Muslim, the shallow you
can still get, oh, what do we have? What do we really got going for us aside from our families,
		
00:29:49 --> 00:30:00
			as Muslims, what do we really have going for us besides the strength of the unit of the family, the
moment that becomes weak, the moment we allow it to be destroyed? That I don't know. There's much
		
00:30:00 --> 00:30:28
			left for us as Muslims. So this is a very this is the final frontier Wallahi I swear to you, this is
very important. Families, I can't do anything. I can't teach people who come from, it's very hard to
teach people coming from broken families very hard. It's almost impossible. It's almost impossible.
All of the efforts that Muslim institutions put towards trying to educate the youth inspire them get
them to become if they come from broken homes almost impossible. If they come from homes where
there's domestic violence occurring, its own, it's not, it's not gonna work.
		
00:30:29 --> 00:31:05
			90% of the job of what the home is going to look like in 50, or 100 years comes from your home, is
what you're doing at your house. It's how you're treating your wife, how you treat her, it's how
your son will treat his it's what your daughter will accept when she's older. What you do when you
sell your house, how you behave, is how your children will behave later. What we do here is that an
extra 10% That's it, you do most of the heavy lifting. There's a lot of blame that goes around from
massage. Honestly, honestly, whatever blame you want to throw massage is just maybe not educating
people how to treat their children at home more, that's maybe maybe you can blame us for that, that
		
00:31:05 --> 00:31:13
			we're not taking enough time to make sure that husbands and wives know their rights, know their
obligations, and behave accordingly at home so that the families can stay what they're supposed to
stay.
		
00:31:15 --> 00:31:17
			We offer very little outside of that.
		
00:31:19 --> 00:31:20
			This is a real problem.
		
00:31:21 --> 00:31:43
			And it needs real solutions. The five points I gave you or not, won't solve them. But I think we
start out that way. Spread some awareness on the issue. spread awareness, it's important to know the
signs and symptoms of someone who's being abused. And then make sure you reach out for help. Whether
it's happening to you or having someone that you love, reach out. Don't put yourself into the middle
of something you don't know how to deal with because you can only make it worse.
		
00:31:44 --> 00:32:13
			understand very clearly that the people who are harmed the most or the children in the family when
these things happen, and that without families we have nothing we have nothing to go for. We have
nothing we have no hope we have no future if our families are not rock solid and if we're not
willing to invest time and energy and effort and knowledge and wealth into building our families
then we are basically bargaining are ruining our future we are we're heading in the wrong direction
when you are what you often will hope to be sold on
		
00:32:15 --> 00:32:37
			LaDarius homeowner look at Albia Wallahi na does your paella Phil chlamydial masala is a contract
from a local Alharbi Hatha Yanni and they're gonna shut down Robbie with Robbie Jha Heelan on how
the new masella by the Minister of Finance with the lake they said Mr. Ledger, Dida left us man
behind on cotton with the verge it Wallah here in New Jersey Yeah, and you see him you're a thief in
the
		
00:32:38 --> 00:32:49
			winter for I mean baucham I'm humbled to moment well hi Denise I mean a DD V shape ma rasool Allah
Allah Allah hottie so let me why am I gonna abandon what
		
00:32:50 --> 00:32:54
			what am I why am I to be my Hello? What are the job board? What
		
00:32:55 --> 00:33:09
			will Lydia follow her? They will Amanda tility stamina hula hula Subhana wa Tada. You have been shed
EDA. He's heard when I see you that Nicola the Yachty Mr. Mala manatee him Mother Son atomise Odjick
gave her arm as to her diva
		
00:33:12 --> 00:33:21
			Madonna cool. I started to dare you to walk up to a haram to cave cave who does not want to miss CMM
Allah Hillman Thea now to humidity and
		
00:33:22 --> 00:33:35
			Old Testament oh here Yanni Allahu Akbar wa salim al Qaeda and am I him? Yeah, the Messiah and oh
Allah azza wa jal. We hope. There is hope. And then what is oh which are these OSHA took her the
look through here he
		
00:33:37 --> 00:33:38
			is Billa
		
00:33:39 --> 00:33:42
			Garcinia will likely shut down
		
00:33:43 --> 00:33:58
			and kind of become numb to the lacets Felicia e Aslan and I have to have a hate for her. I know you
can't do sin and your son will alarm who am I to him? It's like it's not like Allah he'll milk dama
but to him so stick mindset UK habito will
		
00:34:01 --> 00:34:02
			tell you data and
		
00:34:04 --> 00:34:10
			data when medical calamity uneca sat down my sofa I sat down
		
00:34:11 --> 00:34:32
			earlier I look down my article earlier but I don't really have what are they to her? Hola Hola.
Hola, Matthew. Whether you're Muslim and in San Yachty Amil PMDB Salah and also yeah I mean was like
it no hydrogen tomo coffee now the other another the other one though who knows interview about Luca
Yeah, look Looby trick
		
00:34:33 --> 00:34:58
			when Mr. Weaver Can you contact me when you aren't in? How do you mean how do you Masekela Valley
can tend to be a little cleaner you work with Atari? For unison. You I know them in howdini muscular
for Alleycat and Taco Bella humble Musa. I had the only year took my empathy and tatoeba for
learning. When you saw it, he almost went out to caribou and he can go home on my own. Yeah, honey
		
00:34:59 --> 00:34:59
			man
		
00:35:00 --> 00:35:10
			If he Islam, whatever he was leaning whatever, wherever he was talk about what he should be doing
right? Are we followed by high alert you rob if you had tried to be a Saudi I Salema
		
00:35:11 --> 00:35:12
			your own if you had
		
00:35:13 --> 00:35:36
			a semi a mafia, whatever he was talking about. Luckily at that original min Jimmy and Isla Mirage
ah, no no Muslim Muslimeen Elena and Dr. Sunita Nabi Salah Holly Sibu, Salim Ismail Haliotis asked
him to come behind. And now the Alejo salatu salam. Abu Bakr told the story or translated in both
languages, okay, the Hadith wouldn't tell me. He comes to the house of the Prophet alayhi salatu
salam ala Isha
		
00:35:37 --> 00:35:43
			is yelling at the Prophet alayhi salatu salam, aka Aisha to slaughter her Rasulullah sallallahu
alayhi wa sallam
		
00:35:44 --> 00:35:51
			she is she's she's raised her voice and she's yelling at the Prophet on the saucer. Oh, welcome.
Here's from behind the door. Like what?
		
00:35:52 --> 00:36:21
			Hola. Hola. Hola. Hola. Hola. So he knocks on the door. The open for cada Yebin kinda terrifying you
know So Turkey. I know Sula. He says something to her Oh, the daughter of something his daughter so
whatever he used was kind of cursing himself. Is it you are raising your voice on the Prophet
sallallahu Sallam pilots omega is going he wants to strangle her pilot for her obey you know humor
or pseudo law. So I said So as he's going towards Asia the prophet is overcoming standing in
between.
		
00:36:23 --> 00:36:35
			Every time Obama would try and get to Asia the Prophet Hassan would move and continue to move
chanting between alberca saying to calm down, calm down, leave come back when you're when you're
calm. Sign up for high libido Hamatos Renato masala Alpha Kappa
		
00:36:39 --> 00:36:51
			Alpha abuse of Allah Allah you will sell them in the perfect Alia Islam will turn to Aisha Allah at
gay for Hubei Nikhil Bina Rajan you see how he defended you from the guy who defended you I stood
		
00:36:52 --> 00:37:30
			for Uber couldn't bother you when we're not gonna come back after a few days. But send me an email
back and he could see here them on the inside they're laughing but I thought he knocked on the door
wahala learning faesal mikuma come to man if you have to be Kuma How can I enter now that there's
peace just like you made me enter when there was warm call and I'm not I'm fine. Now of course we
have of course you're welcome to come in some Allah Allah Allah CIBJO Salam, he had a regular had a
normal normal life. He was married and there were problems. Nowhere do we find in Him in all of the
stories that we have and by the way all of his most of his wives outlived him and they told his
		
00:37:30 --> 00:38:05
			stories nowhere nowhere I looked for it I couldn't find one. Well I went on a I went on an actual
search to find one time where the problem either you saw that some raised his voice on his wife or
forget about raising his hand raised his voice or said something never not one sided you saw to a
set up not once. Take that and do with that what you want. I hope today was of some benefit to you.
This is an important issue and I'm glad that we took the opportunity to talk about it inshallah to
Allah we can take some steps towards actually fixing it because it's very important. Why number one
Allah Allah Nabi Emmeline, Aleem in football in hola hola Mala in Qatar who use a luna Alain de yeah
		
00:38:05 --> 00:38:40
			you hola Dina Amano solo Ali he recently moved to sliema Allahumma Salli ala Muhammad meanwhile,
early Mohamed can also later Allah Ibrahim Allah Allah early Ibrahim robotic from Medina early
Mohammed Kamau Bell McDonough Ibrahim Al Ibrahim Amina in Nikka hamidou Majeed, what are the Allahu
Autobytel hula? Is that eluna A Biblical? Well, Amara manner what are the what are the Allahu Monzo
Gertie Maha meaning one early hit by God in a bar hit in one on Sahaba T Hill hood in Miami monitor
the elementary zone in Isla yo Medina one
		
00:38:42 --> 00:39:21
			hammer rahimian Allahu Melco theater Linda Mussolini you know what it must be met well I mean in a
minute here even whom well I'm what Allahumma Ferrybridge whom Allah Muhammad Amin when I finished
school but in my Caribbean what vital home Manila Naga Moo mean what available man in Navajo mean
what can Dima and what email and mostly mean what Uh hum moto now I'm old and mostly mean well if
you move it Alana when we were telling Muslimeen hola hola sorry Juan and Morabito and LMS de la
cosa what are the Who are they gonna be out but I mean what HMI one and NFV torchia With Historia
wakaf If and when Masaba home era but I mean Oh hamara he mean Allah humatrope I mean I told her
		
00:39:21 --> 00:39:27
			that no Suha are here now be helpful by now I just had no clue why my daddy garlic Allah who maybe
ICS well how
		
00:39:29 --> 00:39:38
			about Allah in Allah Hi yah mobile ideally what you're learning what you eat, even CORBA went hand
in fascia, you will move your belly, your elbow Kamala come to the car.