Abu Taymiyyah – Be My Bae Choosing a Spouse pt 04

Loss of wealth

that's going to say,

That's very rare on the tongues,

Allah has decreed and He does wherever He

we just move on, as long as we

got

And then the last thing the Prophet Sallallahu

Alaihi Wasall mentioned,

and he gave emphasis to it, just don't

think because he was mentioned last, that's the

last thing you look into He

said,

He gave emphasis on the issue of the

religion

because like I said to you a lot

before,

if the religion is on point,

the day when an argument takes place,

she's going to remember Allah

And don't think I'm trying to tell you

these women that every issue that takes place,

she's going to remember Allah

They get very emotional.

But when they calm down, they remember

of Allah or you tell them Allah said

this and they submit to it. The hudud

of Allah is preserved.

Preserving the limits, the boundaries that was set

by Allah

should play a big role. I always tell

the brothers this, the relationship needs to be

like a triangle,

not the masonic, the triangle with the eyes.

It needs to be like a triangle.

The husband is on one side and the

wife's on the other side, and Allah Subhanahu

Wa Ta'ala is at the top. Both of

them are working

in trying to please Allah

An issue pops up, you have problems, an

argument,

You dispute in something, then refer it back

to Allah

Your

whole relationship is built around the ta'a of

Allah

preserving the boundaries of Allah

and you will live a happy marriage.

The Prophet

said to us,

in another hadith,

One of you that should embark upon

and make yourself used to

a

having a heart that constantly thanks

Allah and a tongue that constantly remembers Allah

and then he said,

and getting married to a believing woman

that will aid you with your akhirah.

You haven't woke up today, she says to

you, Muhammad, why are you still sleeping? Why

do you wake up?

She tells you, Muhammad why you not thinking

about Sayamulill?

Allahi, may Allah give every single one of

you a woman like that.

A woman that constantly reminds of Allah subhanahu

wa ta'ala's messianessallallahu

alaihi wa sallam. She can pull you up

when something has gone wrong.

And hadith

last hadith I'm gonna mention pertaining this point

is,

the Prophet

he said, a dunya mataa.

This dunya is an enjoyment.

And the best part of this enjoyment

is getting married to a righteous woman, righteous

woman.

That speaks volumes.

A righteous woman.

Then He

said,

when you look at her, she makes you

smile.

You don't walk into the house, you go

there, you look.

Or as soon as you open the door,

you can see her backside.

She's walking away.

And when you command her to do something,

she listens to you straight away, she's obedient.

And when you're absent from her, she preserves

your wealth and she looks after herself as

well. How many women do we find today?

They come out on Facebook.

Sorry, time's up.

It doesn't even let me finish the hadith.

Can I finish the hadith, Willid?

Can I finish the point? Finish your point,

take a few q and a's, and then

you bring the food. Yeah? Few q and

a's, questions and answers. Yeah. No one wants

to answer.

Because, brothers, look, I'm sorry and I'm sorry,

mister dad, but only because

the the chef has said I need space

upstairs. It's quite a lot of food. So

I need to kinda, like, bring the food

bit by bit now. Halal, send in 5

minutes. Yeah. And I don't want to be

coached.

Yeah?

I thought of 5 minutes 5 minutes ago,

so tell him in our family. Tell him

another

Okay. What was that?

The hadith.

What hadith?

When you look at her, she smells. When

you ask her to do something, she's obedient.

And when you're absent from her, she preserves

herself

and looks after herself and also looks after

your money.

How many women are there? You're absent from

her, she's on Facebook.

Today they're on Periscope.

She don't know what Periscope is?

Woman comes out, she's maybe talking to guys

and the husband doesn't know. Or Snapchat, she

sends a picture of her to someone else.

This app

is one of the biggest fitna that has

been invented this time. Where a woman now

can she send her naked body or whatever

to one guy he looks at it and

the body, sorry, the picture goes away.

You need the woman that when you tell

her jump,

she says, how high?

An obedient woman, wallahi, bothers, if you get

that, use what the enjoyment of this dunya.

Do you not get the joke? I don't

think some people get it.

She don't say it's you. Why?

Okay. I'll do it, but how how do

you want me to do it? She's like

she wants to do it straight away.

I understand that you have to choose a

person for the apla, but surely with the

the limitations that it plays with the brothers,

how you stay told?

Okay. Good. Very good.

What you can do, you can ask people.

You can ask people that she knows. You're

probably gonna ask me in a way if

I don't know anyone that. Okay, good.

I'll tell you out of experience.

You need to ask questions when you go

to that meeting.

Forget all these WhatsApp hype asking behind the

screen because a lot of the time, wallahi,

you can't necessarily see the reality.

Speak to face to face, get your questions

ready.

For quite some time I've been willing to

maybe write the questions, and put it on,

you know, put it out for the people.

Very like strange questions that they're gonna think,

what's he talking about? Like, what's he on

about?

Like, in order to test the woman's obedience,

I've got

question

for

you.

To test a woman's obedience.

Are you gonna write this question?

I wanna copy the question, please. Okay. I

might put it on Facebook, inshallah. Just if

you just,

Insha'Allah, I'll get on it now because everyone

is interested in it.

I recently sent it to another brother, one

of our other brothers,

that was looking to get married, but I

never necessarily found the time to actually sit

down.

One of the questions, if you wanna test

the obedience.

You know me personally, I don't see the

niqab to be wiped.

And I never told my wife, never enforced

upon her. Alhamdulillah,

previously

I never asked my

wife to ever wear the niqab.

And as you know, probably aware, this is

a touchy telekhamah.

So tell a woman to wear the niqab

is a big thing. She's gonna

break out. It's a big thing.

Maybe to ask the question, put the to

the side, whether it's

or not, put that to the side.

If I ask you as a husband,

I ask you as a husband, I request

for me because we know it's a big

issue, to wear the niqab.

Would you fulfill my request as a husband?

Some of them, I've seen this back in

the day I was searching and that.

She'll give you a dirty look, no,

who do you think you are?

And she walks out.

I don't even see it to be, I

just want to see how you're gonna react.

You're looking at 2 things, the reaction

and if she's actually willing to go to

the extent of doing what you want.

And some women they wear the niqab,

what I personally did was I asked them,

if I ask you to take off the

niqab

everybody wants their wives to be preserved, they

wear niqab, but you want to test something.

Mostly those women who wear the niqab, they're

proper passionate about it.

They're like something else to them,

means a lot to them,

you know. So maybe to ask them to,

you know, what Yani, you're looking at these

kind of things,

you know? There's a lot of questions I

can't remember at the top of my head

because I'm not searching at the moment.

So you you you got the reaction there.

You got the reaction there. Okay? But

one answer that I heard previously from 1

brother, what the sister said to him was

like, if someone asked me before marriage, I

wouldn't do it.

Someone asked me for my I wouldn't do

it. But if my husband asked me within

my marriage to maybe take you off, you

know, I'd listen to him, I tried to

convince him, you know, maybe to, you know,

but if it was his final decision I'd

do it. But if it was pertaining to

my safety, I would,

you know, I take you off as well,

you know. And some of them will like

genuinely find it very very difficult.

You can kind of see from their face

like I'll do anything for you, she goes,

I would do it but it's hard for

me, you know, you know. So you can

understand from that as well. But if she

starts giving you attitude from the get go,

you got a problem.

Yeah.

Yeah. Because

arguments gonna break, how she gonna react?

The good woman, she'll realize, okay, I made

a mistake, she's gonna come and apologize.

Don't think she's never gonna shout, that's a

perfect woman. A woman that doesn't shout, especially

that time of the month,

she's perfect.

They're gonna

get angry, they're gonna say things, they're gonna

do things, but

now I'm,

they're gonna go through these stages and, you

know, every now and again, but someone that

knows her limit, she comes and apologizes.

You know, sometimes it take a bit time

because we do a lot of things, you

know.

What is hungry?

Just one quick one. Yeah. What your loved

person is to see, for example, like, if

the woman then wants to marry,

Okay. If she says to you, okay, this

one something that I wanted to mention, but

Willy never gave me the chance.

You find that some girls they say, I'm

going to change.

Why Why they change

now? You know, change now, let us see

like, I need to do something about your

character, or I remember