Abu Taymiyyah – 7 Steps To Controlling Your Anger Upon Being Infuriated
AI: Summary ©
AI: Transcript ©
My brothers and my sisters, in this lecture,
I would like to speak about
how to restrain your anger
upon being infuriated.
Something my brothers and my sisters,
that many of us need help in.
The Messenger sallallahu alaihi wa sallam
not just in 1 Hadith or 2 Hadith,
but rather in so many Hadith,
He taught us in how to control our
anger upon being infuriated.
You may have tried everything
possible
in order to overcome this challenge
that Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala has tested you
with. But my brothers and my sisters,
let me now invite you to what the
Messenger salallahu alaihi wa sallam
instructed us with,
and nobody can tell us or inform us
or teach us better than the Prophet sallallahu
alaihi wa sallam.
No matter how many qualifications one might have
in this field,
as Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala mentions,
nobody can tell you like the one who
has
the knowledge,
who has the understanding,
and nobody is of
the same caliber as the Prophet
from that which
he informed us about.
So my brothers and my sisters,
in this small lecture I would like to
go through
7
things that can help us in restraining our
anger upon being infuriated.
But before that, I would like to stand
over the Hadith,
a
companion
who surpassed
every companion
of the Prophet sallallahu alaihi wa sallam
in the Hadith that they narrated from him.
As Hafid al al Iraqi
mentions, Waal Mukthiroonafiariwaaitil
Athari, Abu Hurayrati yalihib nanumari.
Abu Hurayratiallahu
ta'ala Anhu was the one who narrated the
most hadith and then Abdul Abdoulayr ibn Umar.
Even though Abu Hurayrata,
may Allah Subhanahu wa'ala be pleased upon him,
he embraced al Islam
at the very late stage.
And that just goes to show my brothers
and my sisters,
no matter how old you've become, it still
shouldn't stop you from
beginning that journey.
It might be so because of one's sincerity,
he attained so much in such a short
space of time.
This is a blessing from Allah Subhanahu Wa
Ta'ala and he gives it
to whoever he wills.
He said that the Prophet salallahu alaihi wa
sallam once mentioned,
The tough guy is not the one who
is able to wrestle the people down to
the ground,
but rather the real tough guy is the
one who
is able to
take control of his anger.
He's able to restrain
his fury
upon being angered.
This is the real tough guy.
In another hadith similar to this, the hadith
of Anas ibn Malikyan Radhiallahu Ta'ala Anhu, he
said, Marun Nabi salallahu alaihi wa sallamabiqaummin
wawum yastfariroonfaqalamahadha,
he one time walked past a group of
his companions who were wrestling with one another,
so the Messenger sallallahu alaihi wa sallam then
said, what is this?
So they responded
by saying,
Fulanun
Sariyah, so and so is a tough wrestler.
Masara
ahadun
has a rajul
Suriyyah.
There's not a person who wrestles with this
individual except that he
is wrestled down to the ground.
So the messenger sallallahu alaihi wa sallam then
said,
rajulun
kalamarajul,
one
who insults another individual.
This person who's insulted
or who
is spoken to in an ill mannered way,
kalam magayahu,
he restrains his anger.
What does he say after that, my brothers
and my sisters?
Shaitan.
And upon doing so,
he overcomes his anger
and he also
defeats his shaitaan.
And not only that my brothers and my
sisters, wagaleb, shaitaan,asahibihi,
he also
ends
up defeating the shaitaan of his companion, that
individual who insulted him. This hadith was narrated
by
Bazar
with a sound chain of narration as mentioned
by Ibn Hajar al Aaskalani
Also the messenger salallahu alayhi wa sallam, he
mentioned in other hadith,
the real tough type of wrestling is
arajuluyahdabo,
is a man becoming angry.
And he ends up restraining his anger,
he doesn't allow it to get the better
of him.
And upon getting angry, my brothers and my
sisters,
His face becomes red,
his anger intensifies.
What does he end up doing my brothers
and my sisters?
He overcomes his anger
by wrestling it down to the ground.
So the messenger sallallahu alaihi wa sallam is
telling us who the real tough guy is.
Only makes sense my brothers and my sisters,
upon the messenger was telling
mrsula 'alaihi wa sallam telling us
and praising this kind of individuals who are
able to control his anger, for him to
now instruct us and advise us and teach
us
in how to control the anger
upon being infuriated.
Because my brothers and my sisters,
anger is one of those things where a
person
can, you know, it'll be so difficult to
completely rid this from our lives.
However, my brothers and my sisters,
because this is something that is universal,
Messenger sallallahu alaihi wa sallam taught us in
how to deal with it upon being angry,
and this is
what is intended by when the messenger Sallallahu
Alaihi Wasallam advised that companion.
A man came to the messenger sallallahu alaihi
wa sallam and he said, you Rasulullah,
advise me you Rasulullah, so the messenger sallallahu
alaihi wa sallam said to him,
do not be
angry.' And he kept on repeating this.
Even though my brothers and my sisters, the
base ruling is that when we have a
text to 11 that we always take it
from the apparent.
So here the messenger lies in telling this
man, do not be angry',
does he really intend by it do not
become angry?
Is this something that one can actually sometimes
really just
stop himself from doing?
But rather what he means as the explainers
of this hadith
say,
once you do become angry
then take the means that are going to
diffuse your anger.
And sometimes we interpret away
the apparent of a particular hadith
when we have other hadith whether they are
connected or disconnected,
that
explain
this hadith that might not necessarily
seem from the apparent,
that which we may think.
So this is when all these steps come
in and I wanna mention, insha Allahu Ta'ala,
my brothers and my sisters, 7
points that are going to help us
diffuse
our anger upon becoming
angry. The first thing that I want to
mention my brothers and my sisters is
to seek refuge in Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala
from the accursed
shaitan.
I was sitting with the Prophet sallallahu alaihi
wa sallam
and there was 2 individuals who were insulting
one another.
1 of them, my brothers and my sisters,
he became so infuriated that his face became
red, and also the veins on his neck
started showing.
So the messenger salaam alayhi wasalam said,
I know if something that if he was
to say it,
then whatever he's feeding and experiencing at this
moment in time will disappear.
What is this kalima? Messenger salallahu alayhi wa
sam said, if he was to say,
then his anger
would diffuse.
Also my brothers and my sisters, the messenger
salaam alayhi wa sama said in another hadith,
If a man becomes angry and he says,
then his anger will cool down.
I remember SubhanAllah,
one of my aunties when we was young,
if there was like a scuffle or there
was an argument,
she would call out from the other side
of the room
saying,
Everybody would look at one another and they
would start laughing.
SubhanAllah.
This is the hadith of the Prophet Sallallahu
Alaihi Wasallam that
one will cool down,
instead of us continuing with our
argumentations
and disputations,
and letting the anger get the better of
us,
we will end up laughing SubhanAllah,
because
we will seek refuge in Allah Subhan
from the accursed
devil, the shaitan.
The second thing my brothers and my sisters
is
to keep silent.
The messenger salallahu alaihi wa sallam said, If
one becomes angry then let him remain silent.
If it means my brothers and my sisters
that you go outside
just so you can avoid continuous
argumentations with those who have just angered you,
and let it be it, it's not rude.
You'd rather walk out than actually remain
in a place where
the fire has lit,
and it's only expected that a situation is
going to get worse.
Run away the same way you would run
away from
the lion chasing you.
And once you cool down,
return back
to your house if it was you in
the middle of an argument with your parents
or your siblings,
or whoever else it might be.
Because my brothers and my sisters, sometimes upon
getting angry, we say hurtful things,
and we regret it for the rest of
our lives.
And the hurtful things that we say
could be the reason why that person who
we are saying these hurtful things to
is scarred for life.
So remain silent as much as you can.
And if you,
for whatever reason, don't remember these hadith, then
let the person
who sees this happening remind that person.
Number 3 my brothers and my sisters,
change your pastor.
It was narrated
that one time Abu Dhar
was infuriated.
A man came and he broke his fountain.
So the narrator claims that,
upon being infuriated, he was standing up.
Fajalasasthummaftaja.
Then he sat down and then
he laid down.
So then he was asked, why did you
do that?
He said,
If one
is infuriated or he becomes angry while he's
standing, then let him sit down.
If his anger disappears,
otherwise,
let him now move on to the next
step which is to lie down.
May Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala help us all
in implementing this.
It's not something that is
easy,
but
they remind the benefits, the belief, wadakkirfain,
nadikratanfaal
mumineen.
So, so far we have taken 3.
Number 4 my brothers and my sisters, it
is
to make wudu.
As it was mentioned in the hadith of
the Prophet He
said,
Inna lqababa
minash shaytan.
Anya is from the shaytan, Waina shaytaana
khuliqa minan na. And indeed the Shaitan has
been created from fire.
Wa'inna matutfa'o
and naarubilmaa,
and the only way that you can extinguish
the fire is by using water.
If one becomes angry and then let him
go and make wudu,
without a shadow of a doubt my brothers
and masters, this is really going to cool
you down.
So this is now number 4.
Number 5 my brothers and my sisters,
remember the reward that is waiting for you
if you restrain your anger.
The messenger Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam said,
Whoever holds back his anger,
even though
he's able to release it,
Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala will call him out
from amongst all of the creation on the
day of judgement,
and he will allow him to choose from
the women of Al Jannah, the Hur,
hoorulaeen,
from whoever he was.
Also it was mentioned in another hadith that
prophet sallallahu alaihi wa sallam he said,
Whoever
holds back,
restrains his anger even though he has the
ability to let go of it.
If he wanted he could have easily released
his anger.
Mana Allahuqalba
hooriwan yawmarqiyam Allah azza wa jal will fill
his heart with satisfaction
on the day of judgment.
Also my brothers and my sisters in Surat
Alay Imran, when Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala listed
the characteristics of the people of Jannah.
What did he mention?
From the characteristics
was those who restrain the anger and those
who pardon,
indeed Allah loves the good doers.
So, so far my brothers and my sisters,
we have taken,
number 1, it was
to seek refuge in Allah Subhanahu wa ta'ala
from the accursed shaitan.
2nd one was to remain silent.
3rd one was
to change your pastor,
4th one was to make wudu
and number 5 was
to remember
the reward that Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala
has waiting
for you.
So number 6 my brothers and my sisters,
it is to remember that
the anger is the cause of all evil
and it brings together
all types of problems
and evils.
What is the evidence for this?
The hadith that we touched on earlier,
the man who came to the Prophet
and he said, You Rasulullah o Sinee, O
Messenger of Allah,
advise me. And the messenger of Allah said,
laatagdab, do not become angry.
And he kept on asking him, okay advise
me. And the messenger
kept on mentioning
the same advice.
Even though this hadith, my brothers and sisters
in Bukhari Muslim,
there is a narration that was reported by
Alimah Muhammad The
same hadith,
but in the end it states,
The man says, I
began to think,
when the messenger salallahu alaihi wa sallam mentioned
this to me.
And I came to realization
that anger,
it gathers all types of evil,
or all of evil.
A moment of madness, my brothers and my
sisters, can a person in this dunya before
the hereafter.
How often have we seen
brothers
practicing,
who are, inshallah,
treading the correct path.
But because of a moment of madness, my
brothers and my sisters,
it led them spending
maybe decades of their life behind bars.
And he caused so much trouble, so much
grief, agony,
because of a moment of madness.
A man who loves his wife,
moment of madness decides to divorce her, and
he might even end up uttering
the divorces in quick succession,
and then he regrets it, a moment of
madness.
How often have we seen my brothers and
my sisters
on causing bodily harm?
He didn't intend to kill him, we ended
up killing him.
You have the hadith of
Asadi
radiAllahu ta'ala Anhu. My brothers and my sisters
this is very very touching, this hadith.
An incident that took place in the time
of the Prophet Sallallahu
alaihi wasallam.
He said, I was with the Prophet Sallallahu
alaihi wasallam.
Innialaka'idununabiyya
sallallahu alaihi wasallam.
While I was sitting,
a man came,
and he was dragging another individual.
He was dragging this man while he was
tied with ropes.
This man came to the Prophet sallallahu alaihi
wa sallam,
and he said,
this man he killed my brother.
So the messenger
asked the man who was tied up,
did you kill his brother?
He said, naam.
He said, yes I did kill him. Also
benefit that we take very very quickly from
this hadith as a side point is, the
messenger salallahu alaihi wa sallam verified.
He didn't just jump on taking that person's
side
when he saw
whatever he saw,
but rather he verified the information and he
listened to both sides. Then he asked him,
how did you kill
him? He said,
me and him,
We were hitting the tree,
we wanted the leaves of the trees to
fall, so we can feed
our livestock,
our sheeps and our goats and
so what happened after that? While they were
doing that,
he said,
He ended up insulting me. I became infuriated.
I ended up
taking
the axe
and I ended up hitting him on the
side of his head,
which led
him dying.
I ended up killing him in such a
way. A moment of madness, subhanAllah, in the
time of the Prophet sallallahu alaihi wasall.
So that is 6 my brothers and my
sisters.
To realize that
this is something that brings all evil together.
Number 7 my brothers and my sisters, I
want all of you guys to
really just ponder
upon
honorable Khattab radhiyallahu ta'ala and whose
response,
which is in
contrast to a munafiq in the time of
the Prophet
when he was reminded the Prophet
his teachings,
he responded a particular way.
One time
a man
sought permission to enter upon
the Prophet
a man saw permission to enter upon Umar
ibn Khattab radiAllahu
ta'ala
Anhu and he was given permission to do
so.
Upon entering, my brothers and my sisters, they
had the audacity to say to our honorable
Khattab,
yablil Khattab, o son of our Khattab.
You do not give us a lot
when it comes to distributing
the finances, you don't give us much.
And also you don't
judge in a fair way when it comes
to
our disputes.
Umran Khattab radhiallahu ta'ala Anhu became so furious
that he wanted to strike him.
So upon him wanting to do that my
brothers and my sisters,
there was Alhurib Luqais,
who was binjul Asayi Umar, he was from
those who used to attend the private gatherings
of Umar Al Khattab
pardon,
command with good and also turn away
from the ignorant.
And this individual, he's from the ignorant ones.
The reporter of the hadith
states that, for Allah Imajah was a
He said, by Allah,
Umar ibn Khattab
did not step over
the statement of Allah
upon being
advised.
SubhanAllah,
quick side benefit,
Umar al Khattab upon being advised by one
who is less virtuous than him, he didn't
turn around and say, who are you to
talk to me? I am the Khalifa of
the Muslims.'
He humbled himself
to those who are lower than him in
virtue and he accepted the advice.
And it's a characteristic that we all need
to adorn ourselves with.
And he stopped
at that statement,
and he didn't step over it.
In contrast to that my brothers and my
sisters, you have
another incident.
2 individuals, they started insulting one another,
And then
one of them was advised
to say, a'udu billahiminashaytaanirajeem.
You know what his response was my brothers
and my sisters?
He said to him, do you
think that there's something wrong with me? Do
I look like a crazy person to you?
And he told him to go away.
This is the response that some of the
shura' mentioned who was a munafiq.
You're being reminded of the statements of Allah
you get upset and you get angry. We
do this sometimes, right? Somebody advise you, we
push him away,
we tell him you go and
do do whatever you have to
do, don't tell me that
moment of madness
can lead us sometimes to behave in a
certain way.
So my brothers and my sisters,
what can we do to maybe
cure ourselves from
completely losing control, there is something that we
can do,
and that is to turn to Allah Subhanahu
Wa Ta'ala,
in asking him to
help us with this marad, this disease, sickness.
A person becomes so angry, he starts breaking
things and he starts beating people and
messenger
as authentically reported, he would make the dua.
I ask you for a sincere statement
upon being
angered or upon being angry and also when
being satisfied.
SubhanAllah.
May Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala make us from
those who are able to control their anger.
And as Ibnuqayr he
said in his kitabid dawaduwaduwaduwadu spiritual sickness and
his cure,
the most
greatest of cures is a dua.
Are you telling me my brothers and they've
returned to Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala and you
request Him, you request from Him to help
you in this situation, He's not going to
do that, He's not going to help you.
He's the one who mentioned,
mani aduruni,
whoever calls on to me, this is in
Allah's my brothers and my sisters.
Allah
comes down, I will respond back to him.
Whoever asks me, I will give to him.
And whoever seeks my forgiveness, I will forgive
him.
Ask Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala to make us
from those
who are able to control the anger.
Ameen,