Abdur Rahman ibn Yusuf Mangera – Visiting the Sick
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Bismillah al Rahman al Rahim Al hamdu Lillahi Rabbil Alameen wa
salatu salam ala say you didn't mousseline while he was off the
edge Marina, Amma Bharath. We're speaking about something today in
sha Allah, which generally, we don't speak about. This is the
etiquette of visit visiting the sick.
The other, the etiquette
of visiting people who are ill, who are sick, first and foremost,
to visit the sick, there's a certain
virtue in doing that. And then when you visit the sick, how long
should you stay? What should you say?
And how should you act. So all of these things are important. And
this is especially important because a sick person is a
sensitive person generally.
So one has to be extra careful. So as not to increase them, misery,
not to increase their pain, but rather to assist in removing some
of that pain to make them feel better. That's the whole point of
it, which is to deliver goodness to people. It's also it's all part
of that. And one of the HAC and writes of one brother over
another, is that or yeah, that will muddy muddy it
when he's sick than to visit him.
So that's all part of it. That's why Sheikh Abdul Fattah, would
they says it is your duty to visit your Muslim brethren in time of
illness.
Now, all you say is it follow this word? It says it's Islamic social
followed in the sense that
it's the demand of common decency, of social etiquette.
It's what makes the community healthy.
It's what enhances the Ummah is what creates love and bonding
strength within the Prophet sallallahu idealisms nation,
that's the point of it. So if we're not going to play part in
that,
and we're going to be loners in that regard, then we're not
contributing to the OMA.
So part of the relationship that we have with the bros or the lava
leaves and spoke about so often is about how
the Muslim ummah is one body. And if any part of the body is hurting
in pain, then the rest of it is always impacted. And if a Muslim
doesn't feel impacted by what's happening to other believers, then
they don't seem to be fitting in to that worldview of Rasulullah
sallallahu alayhi salam. So one needs to feel that and part of
that is to make them feel good when they're ill. Sickness and
illness is going to come to most people, to all people, the
prophets of Allah ism being a prophet still became sick, had
pain and suffered in that regard. So people will become sick. But it
really helps when they know that there's people to assist them. It
helps a lot when people are there to look after them, care for them,
comfort them. And this is the whole point of this. So this will
enhance and nourish the bond of Islam and the brother brotherhood
among you, as a committed Muslim, do not undervalue the great reward
from Allah. There's huge reward in gaining this as well in there's a
huge reward that a person gets just for going there.
And the more etiquette The more a person does well in the adab and
in the interaction, they'll get even more reward.
Imam Muslim reports that the messenger of allah sallallahu
alayhi wa sallam said, a Muslim visiting ill brethren will
continue to be in the horror of paradise until he or she comes
back home.
So then they asked, what is the horror of paradise? What does this
mean that they will be in the horror of paradise? He answered,
this means the harvest of paradise. So they're harvesting.
They're harvesting the crops they're benefiting.
So go with that intention as well.
The beauty the beauty of the life of the Muslim is that we can have
many, many intentions, the primary intention has to be one. And all
of those intentions will be beneficial as long as they're not
purely just selfish.
You might say, well, getting reward is a selfish intention, but
it's a positive selfish, selfish intention. If Obama didn't know
humble and ignore he'd been a relates that the Prophet
sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said a visitor. Walking to visit a
patient
will be waiting in the Mercy of Allah.
When the visitor sits with the patient, they will be immersed in
the Mercy
until his or her return. That doesn't mean you sit there for the
whole day.
Because one of the other ways that you don't sit for the whole day,
the bricks are awesome said that the visit should be fast and
quick. Because not all sick people like people who sit around them,
they want to rest, they feel obliged to sit in a particular way
you're laid down in a particular way, but to be attentive, if
people are there. So a balance has to be struck. It is very
appropriate to say a few dollars for the sick, asking Allah
subhanaw taala to bless them with recovery, and help them through
their sickness. So wherever you are, when you hear that somebody
is sick, it's always good idea to give into our immediately.
Today, our culture has become such that we get news over and over
again, through WhatsApp about people who are sick. We learn on
news we learn through media and so on. But what we look more for is
detail.
The detail is generally provided by the mail.
They're the newspaper that provides the gory details and
makes a killing out of that. But that's what they have the graphic
pictures, they have the graphic details. That's the mentality that
when we hear about anything, we want more details. So we go and we
look for these things we don't pray, we see suffering, we don't
make dua, we tune into AlJazeera and other places to look for more
detail. That's an Arab channel, it should have more detail. It should
have more fair reporting. So we're after news. We're less worried
about the DA and the impact our DA will have. This is where in this
system, this is we've become accustomed to this kind of system
where we just need more information.
So as soon as you hear about anybody who's sick or ill, it's so
free, so easy to give it to ah
May Allah subhanho wa Taala give them a quick recovery. May Allah
subhanaw taala remove their problems. May Allah subhanho wa
Taala give Shiva May Allah cure them. There's so many ways you can
give Imam Bukhari any Muslim report that I should have the
Allah Allah has said that if somebody felt sick, the Prophet
sallallahu alayhi wa sallam would pass his right hand over them
while saying the following prayer
Allahumma robinus and Hey Bill butts wash the and the Shafi law
Shiva, Shiva, Oka Shiva and now you have to supplement. Oh Allah,
the Lord of the humans, take away the suffering, remove the
suffering. Bring the recovery. There is no cure but your cure.
That leaves no illness. The purpose of the last thing is to
actually touch places hand on their forehead, touch them, it
just provides an additional that you're not shunning them in a
sense.
Touch within human beings plays a big roll.
Of course there's a good touch and bad touch. There's the halal
touching the Haram touch, but within the halal realm, one is you
make salaam to somebody that's touching the hands, hugging them,
embracing them, then one o'clock that does something a bit more
than just touching the hands.
When you meet somebody, you pat them on the shoulder. And the
professor was amused to see a child used to pass his hand over
his head. So this is all about touch the positive touch. This
provides us a human being it provides comfort, this is the way
the power of the human being within each other.
So the process allows him used to place his hand, bless it hand on
the person and then he used to make this dua.
In another Hadith reported by mumble hottie bacilli, Allah Who
says that the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam when visiting a
sick person would say, La buts the Hurun insha Allah
La bas no nothing to worry about LA buts, as I say in different
Arab countries in different ways in the bus, la bus and the
different countries they say in different ways. It just means it's
everything's cool. The birth, it's cool, everything's cool,
everything's fine. Don't worry about it. Nothing to worry about
nothing to agree about. The Hurun insha Allah the Hurun it's, it
will be a source of purity. It's $1 It'll be a source of purity for
you which Allah purity from your sins, every bit of suffering,
because the prophets of Allah Islam said that any thorn that
pricks you, any thing that upsets you? This is a sonata. This is a
source of reward. It's a source of elevation. It's a source of
removal of certain sins. So this is a constant situation like this.
So
Lavazza, hoorah Insha Allah, not to worry. Now if you do say to
somebody who doesn't understand Arabic, and do translate
Tip for them. Otherwise, they will know what you're saying they won't
appreciate it as much. So Allah bots, the Hurun insha, Allah is
not just the DUA, it's actually a statement to them. Many people
will take this just as a DUA to say it like in Arabic, no, it's a
statement of consolation. Don't worry about it, everything will be
fine. This is and what you're going through, now, you're not
doing it in vain. This is of purity for you, this will purify
your sins. So just remember that concept, that idea and, and speak
about it like that, the length of the visit,
how long should a person stay certain etiquette will make your
visit to an ill person, a refreshing and a morale boosting
one.
You could go and make somebody's life even more miserable, he may
have gone for the right reason. But with the attitude and what you
discuss, you may actually end up making them feel much worse than
they had been feeling already.
Your duty is to ease his or her pain. Keep that in mind. And to
make him or her more conscious of the rewards, they will gain in
return for their suffering and endurance. So all about
spiritualizing the situation when people are sick, they're thinking
of the physiological aspect of it, the pain, what's happening to me,
what's happening to my body, I'm getting old, I'm submerged in
these illnesses, these pains, I'm suffering. So it's to say, that's
fine. It's to remind them of the temporality of this world. Because
when you remind somebody of the reward, that reward is only
valuable if you're going somewhere to get it.
That reward in the hereafter is only valuable, if you believe that
you're going to get it somewhere, this abode. So it's a
reinforcement of the belief of the afterlife, it's a reminder of the
real life. It's the reminder of the true abode. So essentially,
that's what we're doing. And that's the whole point of the
Sunnah. That's the whole point of the guidance of Rasulullah
sallallahu Sallam and all these doors. It's about remainder of the
here hereafter, and how this life is all part of that Allah has
placed you in this affliction, make the best out of it.
You didn't ask for it, it came to you know, to make the best out of
it and come out of it better than you went in. So come out as a
better person. So we're trying to remind them of this. This makes
sickness so much easier to deal with, so much easier to deal with.
And that's why people who had higher reliance in Allah subhanho
wa taala. They didn't even ask Allah subhanaw taala for cure.
They had the status of robot Bill kadaga. Not of just patients, but
above that, which is to endure and not even ask Allah to cure them.
But Oh Allah, it's up to you.
So what is our state, which is we want to be patient, we're not
going to complain, we're not going to shriek we're not going to jump
up and down. But at the same time, we want removal of it and
hamdulillah that's fine, we won't arrive here. But there are people
who say If Allah subhanaw If that's how you want to keep me
then I leave it up to you. If this is my the best state for me, and
this is the way it is. Let's see what allah sallallahu alayhi wa
sallam on his during his final days.
There was an occasion where some of his family members, a busser,
the Allah on him and his wife and so on. They gave him they
administered a typical type of medicine.
And when he came back to consciousness, and when he
realized that he got very angry,
and he said, everybody sitting here must be administered this
medicine.
He didn't want any medicine. And the last because I actually the
Allahu Anhu also reports that
before I would pass my hand over his body,
and pray the DUA, when I tried to do that this time, he said no, he
wanted to go.
He wanted to go to the real abode. He wanted to go belly rafiqul
Ariela so that that's just all a manifestation of a much higher
level of debacle and reliance in Allah subhanaw taala.
He says, make your visit brief. Now. This is all the
practicalities of it make your visit brief. sick persons may not
like to withstand long visits, the length of the visit should be no
longer than the time between the two speeches of Friday the two
hotbars a Friday. So you should be very brief. Now this is of course
a general ruling. It will also depend on who's sick, your
relationship with them, and how long the sickness is for if
somebody is bed bound for months on end because of something or the
other and they are bored. They have nothing to do then they may
like it that somebody sits with
for two hours, another person comes and says for another three
hours, and somebody else comes and says for another two hours, so it
just depends. So this is not to be taken literally because it's not
like haram to sit for longer. It's just the default, that for the
most part, this is where you begin from, but if you know, of course,
that there is more that they want, then of course, that's what you
do.
So these are general guidelines. In this respect, it was said that
the visit should be long enough to convey your greetings. A Salam
aleikum wa rahmatullah. How are you?
To ask the sick how you he or she is doing
to pray for their recovery. And then to leave immediately after
that saying goodbye. That's about five to seven minutes.
That will be generally it's, I would say, five to 10 minutes.
Generally speaking.
If you visit a patient, say your greeting,
this is a poem, this is a poem, it's not to be taken literally,
it's just kind of exaggerates the default state. If you visit a
patient, say your greeting and immediately say your goodbyes.
You don't want to do that. So don't worry, okay, I'm going.
It's just an exaggeration means don't take too long. Don't sit
there for hours, don't expect them to cook for you, and so on and so
forth. Then he says the best visit is every third day. So the other
thing is, I mean, again, this depends, but this is in general,
when you visit somebody don't visit them every day to get tired
of you Zyban does that Hogben.
Visit people often, and that will increase the love. If you're there
every day, then they get tired of you. The best visit is every third
day, the best day is the blink of an eye.
Do not bother the patient with many questions, two or three words
will get you along.
So again, it depends on patients they like to be asked. They want
to give you the details. You start them off and they'll give you a
one hour detail of all of the prognosis, their symptoms,
medicine consultation, they'll give you everything they'll give
you a small history in medicine.
So it just depends. At the end of his book on Maliki folk al Caffee
Imam Abdullah Abdullah says whether you visit a healthy or an
ill person general rule, you ought to sit where you are told. So
don't choose where you want to sit, choose where they may want
you to sit, because the host knows better how to ensure privacy in
their home. Visiting an ill person is confirmed sooner, because most
of us I'm used to do this. The best visit is the shortest visit.
The visitor should not sit too long with a new person unless they
are close friends. And the ill person enjoys the company. It
makes their day for you to sit with them. The matter of visiting
a patient
the visitor
shirehampton photographer there is a cerium Syrians are very smart in
their appearance. They're very particular about that.
They always like to be well groomed, well presented very
presentable. I always like that, so that you can see that in here
as well. Remember, he spoke about a host and guests and you should
also be well dressed when you go to somebody make them feel good.
So the visitor should wear clean clothes with a fresh scent in
order to make the patient feel better, both spiritually and
physically. Don't smoke a cigarette and go in there make him
gasp for breath.
Ask for oxygen because it just reeks
make them feel better, refreshing. Because generally when somebody's
sick, there's medicine smell and things like that which makes you
sometimes more sick. Sometimes going to the hospital makes you
more sick. Because you see all of these depressed people around you
so when Allah Allah protect us, Allah protect us.
Sometimes you see worse people than you makes you feel better.
I'm not as bad as them you feel you're so bad. When you're at
home, you go to hospital, you see people with legs gone and all
sorts of things and you feel Subhanallah way much better than
that. So this is a big world we learn we always learn from others.
It's a very, this world is a very big means of comparison, that
diversity is just amazing, but it's very educational. So at the
same time it is improper to wear fancy clothes, dress, clean, nice
smelling, but not fancy clothes as though you're going to a wedding
as though you're celebrating the person's illness.
Wearing a strong perfume also can annoy the sick. This is something
which is a pet problem of mine. You stand in solid as well as
somebody has some really sick
Many
perfume,
the cheap to pollen ones that people buy that just smell like. I
mean perfume, you should spend money on perfume if you want good
ones.
And then they get these ones and then they offer it to everybody as
well.
Wearing a strong perfume made a nihilistic
visit, visitors should keep the conversation light.
And the other thing is avoid gloomy talk, that may exasperate
the patient's distress.
Don't start talking about gloomy things about depressing matters.
Speak about happy things speak about optimism.
Avoid conveying bad news, such as a failing business, because
they're in blue, you're talking about a failing business, or maybe
their business because you work for them or something like that.
Well, the sales have been bad, you know, something like that
Subhanallah a death or a similar bad news.
Sometimes, though, to comment on this, somebody is sick with a
particular flu, and it's going around, it's actually comforting
sometimes to tell them that, oh, it's going around. It's nice
sometimes to know that it's not just you, but it's something
that's going around, you feel less of a victim,
you feel less of a victim. This obviously is speaking about maybe
an absence of enough Tawakkol because then we'll see but it's
something which hits the mark which Allah directs. masiva the
thing which hits the mark, that's what I'm gonna see what is a
calamity.
Also, visitors should not inquire about the details of the endless
illness unless the visitor is a specialized physician. Now again,
this just depends if
sometimes, the ill person wants to tell you.
Similarly, visitors should not recommend to a patient any further
medicine that may have helped them or somebody else, their symptoms
may be different.
So today, we think it's helpful to give suggestions.
Oh, melons are very good for this. You should have some pomegranates,
they're good for this. Oh, honey is good for this black seed is
good for this. I do or dates is good for this. Everybody becomes a
bit of a prophetic medicine experts.
Again, it just depends.
Sometimes, there are things that would be helpful.
If you know that the person is overly
dependent on certain medicines, which have harmful side effects,
or something of that nature. And you know, a better herbal relevant
remedy that generally works, then it's okay to mention these things.
Such a recommendation may lead the ill person out of ignorance or
desperation to try it causing further complication, even death.
Actually, the sheiks talking like, like official doctor here, don't
use any other medicine. I would disagree there, sometimes it is
beneficial to have these herbal medicines and so on.
One thing you don't do though, is do not criticize the objective
treatment by the physician in the presence of the ill person. Unless
you can generally prove that the person is totally on the wrong
track the physician and is administering the wrong medicine
is misdiagnosed. Of course, you have to have a lot of experience
and knowledge for you to be able to discern that idea
for the may cast doubt in the mind of the sick. Once they see a lot
of a lot of the time remedy, part of the remedy is mind over matter.
Now the whole study into
the placebo effect.
A lot of it is that
when a person feels that they're getting some kind of support or
help, then it allows them to push their body to react to these
things without realizing it helps us psychologically system of ALLAH
SubhanA wa Tada. So if you tell them something bad then even
though they may Allah may have placed some benefit in that the
person may protest against that psychologically. Now, if you do
have a if you do feel that there's a mistake in the prognosis or in
the in the
assessment, then it's better for you to privately discuss this with
the doctor. It is recommended that when asked about our condition now
if we're the sick person.
This is a very interesting point. If we are sick and somebody asks
us, how are you? What should you say?
Now
there's certain individuals every time you meet them, they're always
complaining about some sickness.
There's one in
dividual who I meet, and I'm only saying this is very broad, and
it's taught me a lesson not to complain. Every time I need to say
how are you say, generally says I'm fine, but I've got this
problem I've got this problem, I've got this problem. He's always
got a problem.
Everybody has a problem come on, what law kind of life do we want
in this world? To be 100% all the time, you're getting older, you're
gonna get problems. He's always got a problem.
Now, of course, Mashallah. He does ask for oil is a bit of a learned
person he does ask for do I, etcetera. So, I don't think he's
complaining. I think he's asking for oil. However, just this
depressing talk all the time of being sick, you know,
a sick person, a person should start by thanking Allah first.
Because we've got so many more things. It's not hypocrisy, we got
so many more things to thank Allah subhanaw taala for a small illness
overcomes us and then we start complaining. The story of a you
Barney Sam tells us that even after everything, he said, Well,
this many decades I've been fine and Allah has gifted me with
everything. In comparison to that these years that I've spent in
this is nothing. It's a comparison. When you know the real
life is the hereafter and you're being rewarded during your
sickness, then all of this becomes much easier. But anyway, says that
this is to avoid the appearance of complaining of Allah's will. This
was the etiquette of the followers, as reported by Al Hakim
Al Baghdadi in a study
in the biography of Abdul Rahman
tabi, who was the physician of Imam Ahmed and Vishal haffi,
ditional haffi Mr. Muhammad no humble.
This is the same doctor for both of them.
And the rock man said, both Mr. Muhammad and Bishop became sick,
and they were being treated in the same place,
probably in different rooms.
When I visited Bishop, I asked how he felt
and
he thanked Allah first. Then he proceeded to say, I've got this
pain, I've got this problem. So he was sending the doctor. I've got a
problem here, here, but he first praised Allah.
When I visited Imam Muhammad, he then visited Imam Muhammad, and he
asked how he felt
he was sick, but he would just say, I'm okay.
On one occasion, I told him that your brother Bishop, who is also
ill, when I asked him about his condition, he thanks Allah first.
But then he tells me about his condition.
Mohammed, Imam Muhammad was one of those individual who would never
do anything, unless he knew exactly how Rasulullah sallallahu
Sallam wanted people to do it.
Unless there was a hadith about it, unless he had specific
guidance about it. Look at that his level, a very high level.
So immediately, he says, Please ask him, Where does he get that
from?
Has he got basis for this?
To praise Allah first then tell you the sickness.
It appears that Imam Muhammad was under the opinion that you do not
complain to anybody but Allah, Allahu Allah. Right? I'm just
thinking this. So it seems like so then Imam Muhammad said, Ask him
so I said to him, the doctor is saying that I can't ask Him in His
presence. I'm it makes me reluctant. I don't have the
ability to ask him.
The man Muhammad said, Tell him your brother Abdullah, which is
Abdullah humble. His son's name is Abdullah.
Tell him your brother Abdullah Abdullah is asking from where do
you get this?
So then, I'm drama and the Toby he went to Bishan. You told him and
he says your brother Abdullah, he wants to know on what whose
authority you're doing this.
So then immediately, he said, I am. I heard this from other who
heard it from ignorance, who heard it from a blue screen, that if a
person thanks Allah before complaining,
it will not be a complaint. But it will just be as if he's telling
what Allah subhanaw taala is doing. There's a positive aspect
to it.
So then, the doctor said that I went to Mr. Muhammad, and I told
him this and then from them, he used to tell me his illness.
These people live their life according to the dictates of Rasul
Allah as a lowly servant.
is amazing.
Absolutely amazing. Self sacrifice for the sake of the Sunnah.
And then accept the evidence when it comes to that.
Event. My father was a great
great Hadith scholar he knew 1000 1000
Hadith which is a million Hadith by heart Minear.
And he was a young man then when he memorized it.
So can you imagine?
He could have said no I don't agree with that or I've heard
differently or something like that he took he accepted.
The answer of Bishop Bishop indicates that when asked about
their health, the sick, preferably should praise Allah first and then
explain their problems. And by this approach, it is not
considered complaining in Salah. See what they're worried about the
man Muhammad is worried about is complaining about Allah. sickness
comes from Allah. So I'm complaining about Allah, despite
all the other good that he's given me. So that's what they're worried
about.