Abdur Rahman ibn Yusuf Mangera – Treatise For The Seekers Of Guidance Part 25 Thinking I am always right
AI: Summary ©
The speakers discuss the concept of narcissism and how it can be used to deescalate others. They stress the importance of clear understanding of reality and finding one's own truth to avoid confusion and misunderstandings. The speakers also emphasize the need for people to trust their judgment and avoid giving up on their own opinions. The importance of learning and studying to earn one's own knowledge to be considered a scholar and finding one's own path for success is also discussed. The speakers stress the importance of learning about one's own successes and finding one's own path for success.
AI: Summary ©
Bismillah R Rahman r Rahim Al Hamdulillah Hamden Cathedral on
the uban mobile Akinfeev Mubarak in early Camilla Yohimbe Bharat
buena way Allah Jalla Jalla, who I'm in a word, or Salatu was Salam
ALA. So you will have even Mustafa sallallahu
alayhi wa aalihi wa sahbihi wa Baraka was a limiter, Sleeman
cathedral Ilario Mateen, Amma Bharat. In our last session, we
were discussing the various types of narcissism and how to deal with
it, if one feels and senses that they have this issue.
As we discussed that narcissism is feeling
a person themselves to feel within themselves, that they are
something
or a job in Arabic, to deem the blessed
to deem that the blessings one has,
whether that be intellect, whether that be beauty, whether that be
having,
being from a certain family, living in a certain area,
something that a person has, and is blessed to, to consider that to
be so tremendous, and then begin relying on it as something
intrinsic, intrinsic. And then forgetting who gives it to you,
which is the Giver, the hub, Allah subhanaw taala.
So, essentially, it's been preoccupied with the blessing away
from the giver of the blessing. So to focus too much on the blessing
and oneself as opposed to the giver of it. That's what
essentially narcissism season was was when it gives an outward
expression, and you start using it and humiliating others, degrading
others looking down upon others. Being stubborn and rejecting the
truth because of what you have done. That becomes gibberish and
arrogance. So it starts off necessarily, as it starts off as
narcissism and ends up as gibberish and arrogance.
So, the author is saying that the most despicable type of narcissism
obviously has many forms, the one, which is the most despicable type
is to be impressed with one's own incorrect opinion.
You can see how many problems there are you got an incorrect
opinion, you're stubborn on it, and you're impressed about it.
That in itself just shows you how complex the problem is.
There's a number of complexities that have come together and it's
all negative. When complexities come together, and they're
positive, and that's a great thing. That's an achievement. But
when they're negative, then it's a big problem, especially when
it's an incorrect opinion. And then by that one becomes elated,
excited.
And then they persist upon it.
You can see how the hole is being dug. And it's only getting deeper,
you become number one impressed by one's own incorrect opinion, okay,
you might not know. So you're impressed on it, you could be
maybe forgiven, that you have an incorrect opinion, then one
becomes excited about it.
Which means that you are owning it now, right? Then persist upon it.
And to remain on that for a longer time, not just for a short while.
And then does not even heed the sincere advice of others. So there
is now you've just closed yourself out. Now you've made yourself
insular. And now there is no possibility of rectification
because now you've closed out any kind of output advice.
We can all be wrong. We could all get excited about our position,
even if we are wrong. But upon being corrected, we should
definitely correct ourselves. You could be forgiven, people could be
forgiven for being wrong and being excited about being wrong. If you
don't know you're wrong. But when you're advised by somebody else,
and you still don't accept it, we're not willing to even seek
advice. So you don't even you close the door. You think you're
right, and you think you can't be wrong. When you think you're
right. And you don't know that you're wrong. The other one is,
you think sorry, you think you're right. But you know, it could be a
mistake. Meaning you do believe that I could make mistakes. The
other one is that you
wrong,
and you don't believe that you will you are wrong. And you don't
leave any room to be corrected, because that's just not a
possibility that I could be wrong in this. You will actually a lot
of people never say this. They actually think this. But somebody
will actually say no, no, I know in this I'm not wrong. I can't be
wrong. I don't want to listen to you.
Rather, he sees others as ignorant and unintelligent.
They see us as fake that way. That's why Allah subhana
Without a says, or then the one for whom his wretched act is
adorned
his armor his act becomes adorn to make it look nice and good and
correct and valid
such that he deems it good and beautiful
for our who has an Xuyen alone, so I'm early him and then follow her
who has an A he sees it. Nice, it looks nice.
Now, this is actually a salient feature of all deviant sects.
Because what is reality?
Right? Reality is that
which is considered to be according to the knowledge of
Allah, what is correct? That's reality.
So Murphy, l Miller, that which is in Allah's knowledge, that
something is like this. For example, let's just say that
somebody uttered some really complex words to their wife.
And then they're wondering whether it's a divorce or not.
Some of these say, Yes, I think that's a divorce. Others say No, I
don't think it's a divorce. It was done in some other language, not
in Arabic, not in English, some other language, and they all
wondering whether it is set in the present continuous tense, or
whether it's said in the future tense? And how was it and all of
these things matter? So there can be a difference of opinion. Now,
according to Allah, is he do you think he could be divorced and not
divorced as well, based on what the two scholars are saying?
Or the reality needs to be one, the reality has to be one, right?
It can only be one truth that it's either this or that he may not be
or he may be. Only Allah knows. So that which is in the knowledge of
Allah is the work in Arabic, it's that the reality that's the
reality, our job is to try to find that reality and to try to be in
conformance with that reality.
That's what we want our life to be as truthful as possible. And the
people who are the most truthful, who have who are the most sincere
in their truthfulness are the Sidi team. That's why they have a
special makan,
right, or shahada, it was Saudi Siddiqui, no shahada or Saudi him,
they're one of the elect. So all sets of reprehensible innovation
misguidance they persist upon the deviation, only due to being
impressed with their own opinion. You know, there's numerous things
I'm sure we've had this experience in our life that we thought
something was a particular way for months. And then something was
presented to us presented to us differently. And then we
understood, hey, I was wrong. It's not this way. And sometimes I've
even seen it after years. For years, you thought of something,
you may have not done anything with it, you just thought of
something in a particular way. You never thought you could be wrong.
And then suddenly, you discover something to find out that, hey, I
was wrong. There is another caveat, another possibility here.
A lot of the time, we may be wrong about something. And
generally, the people who are trying to correct us, we don't
trust them. So you put that barrier up that because I don't
trust them. I can't trust anything they say as well. There has to be
a difference between those two things. We have to separate those
things in our mind. I may not like that person. If they may have an
agenda. They may be biased. Yes. Right. They may not they may be
subjective. But at the end of the day is what they say. Could that
be right?
If I discount some of the exaggeration and some of the
vitriol, some of the poison in there, some of the arrogance in
the base level is what they're saying right or wrong. Don't shut
shut it off. Just because it's an enemy who's saying that or an
opponent of saying it.
The pursuit for truth means that we must be able to remove the
barriers to truth. And the barriers to truth are enmity,
jealousy, arrogance, stubbornness, these are all barriers to the
truth.
We think about it in a practical level, if we're stubborn, we're
going to be less prone to listen to the truth. Let's open to it. We
are jealous of somebody less likely that we want to listen to
them because it means that they are right, we're wrong. And we're
supposed to be putting them down in our side because we're jealous
of what they have. This is complex life, isn't it? It's very complex.
SubhanAllah.
Imam Ghazali Rahmatullahi it. He says, I want you three times.
I want you three times. Instead of saying I want you I want you I
want you. I want you three times
about the repulsive vices of the heart.
That predominate. Now he he singles out here, the so called
scholars of the time, the so called scholars of the time, may
Allah protect us from this, but he singles they might be, that's his
fraternity. So he feels very concerned about them. So he speaks
about them, he says the especially the repulsive vices of the heart
that predominantly Socata scholars that time. Now as scholars are
human beings, the vices that they have, everybody else could also
have, because it's, you know, scholars don't have a particular
type of whether it's still human beings at the end of the day, the
base of it, and all of these vices we have because of our human
nature and human weakness and failing, it's just perpetuated by
certain positions you're in. So if you're a scholar, then you're in a
particular position, there may be some rivalry, some competition,
likewise, you know, you, there may be some other unique features
about it, but otherwise at the base of it is all human. Right? So
he says that, yes, I want to warn you three times about the
repulsive vices of the heart that predominate the so called scholars
of the time, truly destructive vices that are the roots of all
immorality. Yeah, Allah. And he mentioned the three envy
ostentation and narcissism, they were pretty much the same. It's
all about showing off and fame and gain and wanting to be heard or
wanting to be seen. And yes, when you're a scholar, you get respect.
Right? Because you're public.
Not you have a position that everybody respects, you have a
position you have, you have a position, and assets, which people
would love to have they respected. They know that it's something
beneficial in this world and in the hereafter. So you got all of
that. To earn knowledge, you don't even have to have money. You just
have to study just the efforts. Whereas to earn money, you
probably need money, to start earning money and a lot of hard
work you need for both.
But you get more people who will respect knowledge on there's less
effort to be placed in learning knowledge to be respected.
Because you don't even have to have too much knowledge nowadays
to be respected.
Because there's such a dearth of knowledge that anybody who does a
few good videos, speaks well, throws in a few Arabic terms can
be considered a scholar, Allah protect us.
It's, you know, you can see people like that.
Allah protects us from being of those. So he says that, so toil
and struggle in purifying purifying your heart from them. If
you prove unable, then you will prove unable with all else, do not
think that you will be safe in seeking religious knowledge by
merely a sound intention in your heart. If your heart, if your
heart has the slightest bit of envy, ostentatious or narcissism,
he is telling the Alama that your knowledge will not benefit you if
you have these problems. And knowledge as we see is something
close to Allah subhanaw taala something religious. So how can
any other action of ours, spending in the path of Allah, etcetera,
benefit us? If we have the same problems? If scholars can't
benefit because of that, how can anybody else benefit either
his discussion stops here, but basically, what he's saying
underscores the imperative for those who study even religious
knowledge to also embark on trying to correct their intention and
their spirituality. These things have to go hand in hand.
So let's, let's look at that for a moment.
Somebody just say
somebody who is about 25 years old,
she may be 27 years old, just got married now, or 30 years old,
wants to study some deed. So you start studying the deen.
Now, you suddenly gaining an asset of knowledge. So you suddenly
start feeling especially if you're kind of a sharp type of person.
Different person is kind of a very humble person to start with,
they're going to be less likely to have that problem. Our Nature does
play a part in here.
Allah makes us all with different characteristics. Then whatever you
gain afterwards just perpetuates that. So that's that's what it is.
So let's just say somebody who's working decides to go and start
now and starts taking a few classes and everything like that
mashallah gets really interested in the knowledge the study you
know, and mashallah, wow you know, I'm going to study that Tafseer
now and I can actually start reading these books and you know,
and now at work people when they ask questions, I can even give a
few answers. Yeah, you will do is broken or your salad. You know,
you need to correct that then I'm going to do a Halaqaat at work
and, you know, at university or whatever it is, right? You start
doing that. So mashallah, there's one asset you've just gained,
which is knowledge. You're helping people. You're getting a position
People are going to respect you, they're going to come to you, when
somebody comes to you with a question, you feel good, you feel
important, right? Until it gets too much. And then you say, No,
don't come to me, then you start, you know, not giving your number
out.
So,
clearly, you know, when people want you, then you feel important,
it makes you feel important. Now, that's just one passage, that's
just one way of doing things. The thing which is missing, that would
make all of this beneficial, not just to the people as it is, but
beneficial for your own self, to Allah subhanaw taala. That is to
be able to
keep it contained, and make it clearly contained for the sake of
Allah subhanaw taala. That's the difficulty. Learning knowledge
could be easy, but learning how to contain that knowledge within a
certain role for Allah subhanho wa Taala does the difficulty. The
reason that's difficult is that it's not very tangible. Learning
knowledge, okay, if I read this book, if I read this book, if I
sit with him, and if I learn this, I'm going to know something you
can easily tell, how do you measure your sincerity? How do you
measure that I'm showing off or not? That's that's the difficult
part.
Okay, so now let's look at the treatment that it says that the
treatment of this type of narcissism
is most difficult and challenging.
Since its possessor deems it as knowledge, not ignorance, this is
talking about a person who's on a particular position.
And they don't want to listen to anybody else. They don't think
they can be wrong, they excited about it, you know, the person I
spoke about in the beginning, is very difficult to remove that kind
of narcissism. Because when the person who possesses that kind of
narcissism thinks that this is knowledge and not ignorance, that
it's a blessing and not a calamity. And it's sound health
and not sickness, then he's not going to go and seek out a
treatment
he's not going to pay attention to a spiritual doctor that diagnose
and treat diseases of the heart.
Now, how do you think we can correct this kind of problem?
How do you think we can correct this kind of problem? What is the
first step do you think?
You ever How do you I mean, take account of your actions, but what
makes you want to do that? Why should you take account of your
actions when you feel very comfortable that I'm cool, I'm
fine, I'm nice, you know, I know my stuff. So why would you want to
even go and do that? Sometimes
emptiness with a condition that you don't have, okay. So something
wrong has to happen. That means you have to suffer a disadvantage.
That is one way that you actually start suffering some weaknesses,
you start suffering some setbacks, you start suffering, some inner
disquietude and strangeness. And then you start feeling like
you know that then our arrogance start going down a bit. And then
you want to open up now what happens to a person with that
doesn't happen.
Because that's one way. And that's if you suffer a setback, right?
That way you in hindsight, you'll know that Allah wanted Allah that
was ALLAH doing that to you, because you know, you must have
done something good to, to invoke that kind of feeling.
That's the difficulty, isn't it? There's so many people out there,
but they're not going to listen, you can't go and tell them.
Subhan Allah Subhanallah
the one way is that you hear something in the passing?
You know, you're not interested maybe because if you are
interested you already beyond that level, right? You're you've
already interested. But if you're not interested, then maybe
somebody was talking. And you saw some something happened to
somebody else. And that gave us April as well that there was some
other arrogant person who does happen to
sometimes you don't even learn from that. Subhanallah
I think at the end of the day, it's a matter of Tofik.
For you to be in the right place at the right time, that you hear
something that makes you reflect and that pierces the armor that we
have.
We're no longer Iron Man, we're vulnerable.
Right? That I could be wrong. Wow, I could be wrong.
Subhanallah it's a matter of Tofik How do you get that tobiko?
How do you get that tofi?
Well, yes, you have to expose yourself to tofi by wanting to
listen.
But what gets you to a discourse like this?
See what I'm saying what gets you Why would you want to come to a
discourse like this?
How'd you get the closest
Do you understand? It's just like where does it all come from at the
end of the day? Why aren't the majority of people thinking that
way?
Well, you see one thing is that what Allah mentions, if you do
good deeds,
for the sake of Allah subhanaw taala and you try, then Allah will
open up the paths, whether that comes straight away or it comes
after a while. Any good deed will be recompensed. Any good deed that
we do, you will get something for it. Right? For example, you may do
a good deed, and the benefit, and a bulk of it will come into your
household.
The benefit Baraka will come into your children the benefit and the
blessing of it will come into your business. All good deeds are like
that. But again, it still begs the question, how do you get the dough
feet to the good deed, it's a matter of Tofik
means at the end of the day in Hola Hola, yo, hey, yo, MobiCom in
Hatha Yoga, Yiruma V and fusi him that Allah is not going to change
the people until they want to make that change, that desire must come
up.
But again, the question is, where does that desire come from? Right?
Who, for a lot of people that desire comes from maybe hearing
something or seeing an experience or having an experience.
Again, it's all a matter of it just tells us how complex I'm just
trying to say how complex the world is, and how complex our
whole thought process is, and then how the decree of Allah subhanaw
taala gets set up, I don't want us to think that we don't have a room
in this is just I'm saying that those who do have a concern, they
should really focus on that concern and try to get something
out of it. Because that's, and they should do sugar that Allah
has given them a concern, because as you guys said, having the
concern in the first place, I think one of the conclusions is
that having a concern in the first place, that is the beginning to
all of this, if you don't have the concern, your mind is going to be
shot. Having the concern is important. And of course, you
know, these kinds of modules, so listening to something or whatever
all of this kind of helps. But we ask Allah, we ask Allah in our
doors,
that Allah gives us an opening of this type in an easy way, rather
than a difficult way. If you have to go through a really tough
calamity, and then you come out of that with this, right? I'm sure
there could be better, easier ways that we get to a better, better
level within ourselves on our own, rather than having to be put into
the dumps first to do it. You see what I'm saying? And I believe
that having, you know, reading the doors of Rasulullah, sallAllahu,
alayhi wasallam, are very, very powerful. Because the collection
of doors of the Prophet sallallahu sallam was such that they are very
comprehensive. And they ask about everything, like if you look at
the Hayesville album, right? And if you look at the meanings of the
doors, there will be things in there that you will know are
beneficial for you, but that you've never thought of asking
Allah
they are huge number of things in the the whole book is like them,
that you would never have thought of asking Allah those things,
because you never thought in those terms. But when you actually then
look at it that way, you realize, hey, that is what I need.
So
essentially learning more about our deen and the prophets, Allah
Allah is and that's where that he's our source of guidance. And
even his doors can be so powerful by just focusing on the doors, and
the doors of the process a lot is and they teach us the human and
Lord relationship. What do we need from him? What should we be asking
him? What do we need from ourselves? And what can he give
us?
That's what you get the you get the benefit of those things from
Allah subhanaw taala. May Allah subhanaw taala grant us
the ability to continue with whatever he has given us and to
allow us to even get better at it. Inshallah, and
may Allah allow us to May Allah protect us from failings and
from the ignorance that's mentioned here?
The narcissism
being excited about something we have while forgetting him.
forgetfulness of Allah subhanaw taala that's the challenge of our
life. A lot of men to sit down wanting to sit down develop the
adventure learning the Quran
along the way you have to hear and particularly study a lot of men
Yeah 100 We am and you know, he learned the Subhanak Enoch
phenomenal body mean
Subhan Allah in r&d You'll earn does Allah who are no Mohammed Mo
Oh Allah we ask you for your guidance. Who Allah we ask you for
your light of Allah, we ask You for Your forgiveness of Allah
grant us your forgiveness, or most Merciful of the merciful ones.
Grant us your mercy. Oh Allah, cover us with Your mercy. Place
your light in our hearts in our eyes, you know is Allah Allah and
I was to see through your light to hear through your light. Oh Allah
to think through your light fill our hearts with your light. Oh
Allah fill our hearts with your love and the love of those who
love you. Who Allah grant us pure thoughts in our heart of Allah
supplant the evil that goes through our hearts with only the
good things. Oh Allah, allow us and give us the immunity from evil
from the immunity of evil thoughts and resolutions. Oh Allah, allow
us to be correct in our life. Allow us to be truthful in our
life. Oh Allah make us of the CDT in our law makers of the CDP in
our law Allah
grant us an understanding of the realities of this world, so that
we can understand what is useful and beneficial for us of Allah do
not make us of the deceived ones. Do not make us of the deceived
ones do not make us of those who will be wretched in the hereafter.
Our law makers of the fortunate ones, make us of those whose
actions are beloved by you. Our Allah make us of those who love
you, and make us of those who are loved by you. Oh Allah, allow us
to do those deeds which draw us closer to you. Grant us love for
those deeds that are of obedience to you, of Allah, grant us hatred
for those deeds that are of disobedience. Oh Allah, we ask you
to assist us. It is difficult for us of Allah. We make Toba in the
morning, and by the evening it's broken. We make Toba in the
evening and by the morning, it's broken. Oh Allah you have given us
that which we can never thank you sufficiently for. Oh Allah you
have given us a sense of security. You have given us a sense of
safety. You have given us that which we need to survive. Oh
Allah, you've placed in an abode of safety of Allah grant a safety
of our iman, of Allah physically we are safe and sound, but Allah
spiritually, we don't want to be of the wretched ones. We don't
want to be of those who are of the losers in the hereafter make us of
those who are successful both outwardly and inwardly of Allah
just as you have given us, clothing for our bodies and food
for our stomachs. Well, Allah we need your light for our hearts. Oh
Allah grant us the light for our heart. What good will it be at the
end of our life if we had the food and we had the clothing and we had
the wealth and the riches of this world, but nothing to take with us
for the, for the hereafter? Oh Allah What use would that be for
us, of Allah grant us discernment and understanding of what is truly
valuable for us and give us the ability and Tofik to actually
pursue those things. of Allah, these are the months of hajj Hoja
already in your house of Allah who judge are already in your in the
city of your messenger Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, there
will be others who will be going, Oh Allah, we ask that you make all
of their journeys, easy and blessing, a blessing of Allah they
will be just a small amount of small percentage of the Muslim
Ummah that will be there, from the various different countries around
the world of Allah. Those will be the delegations from all of those
communities, to your house of Allah, allow them to be infused
with your mercy with your blessing with your Rama and all the other
secrets that are found in your holy city in the holy cities, and
allow them to come back and then benefit their community with those
of Allah accept and grant us and accepted Hajj those who have been
for Hajj Oh Allah, we ask that you allow us to go over and over
again. Oh Allah and those who have not been Oh Allah facilitate for
us not further for them, for them to be able to go as soon as
possible. Oh Allah, we ask that you bless the entire Muslim world
Oh Allah there is a lot of commotion in different parts of
the world we ask that you bring back humanity within the human
bring back the balance and the MISA and within the within
humanity. I know Allah, you make us forces for change. You allow us
to leave a legacy that is beneficial for us and that is
beneficial for our hereafter. You protect us and our children and
our progeny until the day of judgment that you grant us.
closeness to you. You make all of the stages easy for us and you
facilitate entry into Jana to fill a dose of Allah grant us what we
have asked for an O Allah grant us what we haven't asked for but we
should have asked you for our Allah. Allow us to correct correct
these blameworthy traits from our heart how Allah some we may
recognize that there are many probably which we do not recognize
how Allah grant us the prophetic paradigm allow us to learn from
our messenger and truly make him truly make him our source for
learning and our source for guidance for everything that we
have in doing this world of Allah grant us the Kadima La Ilaha illa
Allah on our deathbed and O Allah, we ask you finally to send your
abundant blessings on our messenger Muhammad sallallahu
alayhi wa sallam and grant us his company.
in the hereafter our life except our doors bless the place in which
we're sitting allow us to return all forgiven Subhana rhombic
Arbella Instagram now you'll see phone was salam al mursaleen all
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