Abdur Rahman ibn Yusuf Mangera – Social Pressure & Peer Pressure

Abdur Rahman ibn Yusuf Mangera
AI: Summary ©
The conversation discusses the difficulties of parent pressure and the importance of finding comfort in one's life. It emphasizes the need for learning to deal with one's heart and finding the right person to live in. The success of Islam is also highlighted, including the universal ruling for anyone who asks for their heart and the importance of finding the right person to live in. The segment also touches on the history of Islam and the importance of finding the right person to live in.
AI: Transcript ©
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Hola Rafi Luna Rahim Alhamdulillah

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Alhamdulillah Hamden. cathedra on the uban Mubarak confy Mubarak

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Canary

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Can I borrow buena?

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Jalla jalla wa rahmatullah wa Salatu was Salam ALA. So you will

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have you will most of

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SallAllahu taala. Either you are either he or Safi or Baraka was

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seldom at the Sleeman girthier on laomi Dean Amma Barrett, Allah

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subhanho wa Taala says in the Quran

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the Quran facades are filled very well by Divi MCE set alienness you

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vehicle homebuilder linear Amadou Diallo murals your own

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Allah subhanaw taala also says

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Joel Haku was purple belt in El belterra Karnas a hookah.

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Allah subhanho wa Taala also says Mahalia Collinson or Eva.

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Based on these verses, there's a few things that I want to discuss

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and also what

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Imam Al has Sybil Maha CV as we continue with his work he says,

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while I'm an island hockey Shahidan kobold in FC Allahu

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Allah thoroughly already Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa

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sallam is stuffed the call Becca in after Cal move tune.

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He says know that the truth has a witness.

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The truth acts as the truth as a witness in terms of the knifes

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will accept it.

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For a person with a sound heart, a sound perspective,

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a sound and uncorrupted ideology. Then even if they don't have the

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clear answer from the Quran and Sunnah, because their spirit is

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developed in a way to see what kind of conforms, what is

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conducive to ailment what is conducive to knowledge and what is

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conducive to the truth. They kind of figure it out, they get bad

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feelings, the red flags go off in their mind when they see other

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things that they think are against the spirit.

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So Allah subhanaw taala has given us enough that if we learn enough,

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and we try to color ourselves in the similar Tula the color of

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Allah subhanaw taala, by having a decent understanding of the Quran

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and Sunnah, then generally, we could make most of the time we

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would make the right decisions, because that our heart has been

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programmed to do that, that you give it enough feed and it will

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the artificial intelligence in this search the API, right, it's

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enough for it to start making some decent judgments. Of course, it

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will, you can make mistakes. But generally speaking, you need the

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programming and the you can't get artificial intelligence, even in

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this world today without putting a lot of programming, you need to

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train it, they have to do some very deep learning.

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We've been learning since a young age. Now, what are the challenges

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to this is the question, what is it that makes a person who has

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been learning Islam has been studying Islam has been acting and

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practicing Islam for a very long time. But still, some decisions

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that we take don't seem to be on the mark, they seem to be against

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the what could be considered the truth. So I want to speak about

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this a bit. This, I saw a video recently, of this social

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experiment of this guy who he's got this 14 year old. How old is

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the kid, it's probably about maybe no is the kid is about 1213 years

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old, goes and plays with another kid in the park.

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Then he takes him it kind of strikes a bit of a relationship

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with him for a few, you know, maybe for half an hour, or

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whatever the case is. And then he goes in goes, come on, let's come

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here, come here. Let me show you something goes and takes him to

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the site. And there's a container there. Somebody's container,

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there's some building small structure, and he pulls out a

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spray can. And he says to the kid gone, I dare you to spray this.

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Graffiti basically. I don't think it's a big. I'm not sure if that's

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a big issue here. This is this was done in America, right? In

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America, you go to New York, it's always graffiti all over the

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place. Downtown Los Angeles. That's what you see. Hamdulillah I

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don't see we see as much graffiti here. I think they look after it

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quite well. And I don't know if that's our young people into

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graffiti or drugs or what they, you know, it's maybe just

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different priorities, maybe. So he gives it to the kid, he says, can

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go on, I dare you to do it. And initially, you just see he does

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this over the course of about several kids. And you see the

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resistant factor in each of them. Some of them is like, Okay, I'll

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do it. He doesn't want to do it just does it. But the can has

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nothing inside. So the whole point is that there's nothing inside but

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he just wants to see. So the guys who are watching from behind who

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are videoing the whole thing and listening to the whole thing. Then

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they suddenly come up. Some of the kids don't run away some of the

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kids they stand around

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And then he asks them. So there's one key this is no, no, I got I

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can't do that I'm not going to do a despair. There's no point this

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and other whatever. And then the other guy's really pressuring him.

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It's like, obviously you're a chicken them and it makes the

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sound of a chicken and I think I saw that that's actually where

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generally the other person breaks down. As soon as he calls him a

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chicken makes a chicken kind of sound, he goes, okay, okay, I'll

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do it. And he just does it for the heck of it. So you see this, the

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whole point of what is right and wrong get skewed in the mind.

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Until now, he must have been trained well enough by his parents

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until now, you know, until that first he says, No, some are like,

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Okay, I'll do it. But most of them said No, first, at least a few

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times, but the other person, it just mounted more and more

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pressure. And then eventually people broke down. Why did they

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break down?

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Is the question, why did they eventually break now? And I think

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there was only one case. I know, no, I'm not going to do this. And

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then you can tell first, when it was very interesting to watch that

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first. He says, no, no, I can't do it. He was quite weak in his

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response. But then slowly, slowly, he became more brave, said, no,

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no, we shouldn't do this, then you could tell that he is actually

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getting onto the assault side, say No, that's wrong, you shouldn't be

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doing this. You shouldn't be saying to do this. That's a kid

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who's been who understands well, and then eventually, when the

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person kept up his pressure the other kid, he just walked off.

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Right? Even though the person is behind him persisting, and

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protesting and say, Yes, you should come on come and just do it

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once a guy walked off. So how many children would do that is the

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question, then I've got another one with an older girl, but 14 or

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15 years old. And again, she does the same with another girl, she

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kind of strikes up a bit of a conversation with her on the

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street, in the park, whatever. And then they go, let's go for a walk.

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And as they're going for a walk, she pulls out because my brother

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gave me this was a Mariano. I can't remember what it was, it was

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some some kind of drug. Do you want to try some? Do you wanna

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smoke? Some? So initially, they're all saying no, no, that's wrong,

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that's bad for you. The school must have taught them it's bad. So

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the first thing you can tell where the narrative is coming from

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sometimes when you hear that the lesson, the language, so no, no,

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that's bad. You know, that's bad for that's bad, you can't do that.

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It's bad for your health or whatever. And then again, the

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pressure is mounted. So your chicken is just gonna try it, you

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know, have you never tried it before, it just once is not not a

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bad thing, you should at least try it. It makes you look cool. This,

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that and the other. And eventually, the girl break breaks

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down. Now in this one, what they had is actually had the father

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that actually caught the father beforehand, and he was sitting in

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the car watching this whole thing, and listening to it.

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And they asked the Father, do you think your child will, will

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succumb to this pressure or not? There's no, I've taught a very

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well, she won't, she resisted for a very long time. But towards the

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end, she actually took it and was about to light it up. And that's

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when they all ran to them. And, and then he just, he just took

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her. So you can tell that this is the pressure. Now, that's clear

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pressure. Right? That is very clear pressure. Adults don't do

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that kind of pressure.

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Adults don't have that kind of pressure. So I showed one of my

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kids this video and I said, look, look at this. So what what should

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you do in that situation? How do you deal with that situation?

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Because you could tell that they were just weakening, you're either

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got most of them became weaker and weaker and weaker. And finally

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said, Okay, I'll do it just to be part of it. Peer pressure, pure

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peer pressure. So when the man would come along, then he will

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say, Look, I'm not going to tell your father, but I want you to

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learn a lesson from this. Why did you do it? He said, Well, I didn't

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really want to do it. He was just making me do it. So you, he said,

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So you basically succumbed to peer pressure. I want you to learn a

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lesson from this, that if there's anything wrong, you don't

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succumb to peer pressure. If it's wrong, it's wrong. It doesn't

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matter who it is.

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But I could tell by the person who actually walked away that he got

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braver. You see, when you have confidence about what you're

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doing, about your position, then you will never never cower into

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doing something wrong. What I saw was that the guy who managed to

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walk away, had prayed in his he had something going for him. That

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little kid had something going for him. I was like, No, this is a

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wasn't weak, to want to belong to somebody else. And to go under

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pressure. Even though deep, you know, deep down, you know, you're

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wrong. You know what they're doing is wrong. He was able to use that

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and get braver as he spoke, and thus be able to walk away. For

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adults. It's a very, very similar thing, except that hardly anybody

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will actually persist in. Nobody is going to be that much of a

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shape on when it comes to adults. It's just that with adults, you

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want to fit into the crowd.

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Right? And the problems we're speaking about don't seem to be

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problems in mainstream. Spraying. Graffiti is a problem. Taking a

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spliff

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is generally a problem, right? For a young kid, everybody sees that

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as a problem. So the dynamic there was a bit different when it comes

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to adults, and especially in the workplace and other places social

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society to want to dress in a particular way. Right, they're not

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seen as taboo subjects, just the way graffiti is, or just the way

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taking drugs is maybe to a certain degree, dress in a certain way,

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have drink, you know, go and drink some alcohol, when you're with all

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of your friends or at work, do high fives with women, you know,

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and men mixing all that kind of stuff. This is all stuff which

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comes with the pressure. And actually, I think adult pressure

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is more difficult, because it is seen as mainstream, it's not seen

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as an isolated, wrong incident, it's not seen as a taboo,

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necessarily in the mainstream. Whereas with that child that

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graffiti was clearly you could tell there was something right and

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wrong about it. Right. And even society call that wrong. So

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anybody will tell you that was wrong. But when it comes to these

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mainstream subjects, these mainstream challenges that we're

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facing, they become much more difficult to deal with. How do you

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think you can deal with that, where you are going somewhere at

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work, you're a very career oriented man or woman working in

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a, you know, good company, you got a good job, and you're proud of

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your job. And you want to ascend the ladder and you want to become

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you know, you want to get promotions and everything, you

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want to do the best for your company. And you've got a client

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in front of you who you have to take out for for a lunch for a

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dinner, or something like that. And

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all you have to go to a party, and there's the alcohol is flowing,

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and you don't want to look strange or weird. What happens?

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What do you do in that situation?

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Nobody's putting pressure on you. Sometimes they may do Hey, come

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and have a drink. It's only one drink. It's not harmful. I'm sure

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somebody will do that somebody is probably a bit more informed

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around you. Come on, man. Don't be so you know, don't be so this,

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that or the other, you know, go and go and have a bit. What do you

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do in that situation? How do you deal with that situation? This is

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where a lot of people mess up. If you don't have pride in what you

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feel what you already have as your own ethics, then generally, a lot

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of people who just fail here, they'll just end up doing it.

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Because the knifes is there to the soul is there the ego is there,

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the desire is there, the desire to fit in is there, it's just very,

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very difficult. That's why if you're not connected to your own

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heritage, to your own religion, to your own ethical source, or

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whatever it may be, whatever ethical source that may be whether

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you, you know, we're talking, it could be anybody out there, there

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are people who are not Muslim out there. But they don't drink,

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because they're ethical sources that they think drink is bad. So I

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don't drink. So don't drink, doesn't matter who's there, the

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people could turn the world upside down in front, they're not going

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to drink. Because there's a very strong backing, that they have

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somewhere, that psychologically that gives them a lot of

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confidence. And we've got a wonderful system that gives us the

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confidence, we're told that if there's a sin and you abandon that

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scene, you actually get rewarded for it. So there's so much

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incentive, there is so much incentive that's taking place

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here.

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That if you're confronted with something that is wrong, and you

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abandon it, you avoid it, you will be rewarded. So we've got the

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incentive incentive of being rewarded. Number two, you've got

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the incentive that Allah will love you, you've got number three, that

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Allah will raise your status. Number four, that Allah will give

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you better. We've got so many promises with these things that

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you don't do this, Allah will give you better, because you

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sacrificed. Number five, all the rewards of patience are applied

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here, because that is patience, you are exercising restraint and

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patience against something that you know is wrong. So you got all

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of these benefits going for you but it's just that these benefits

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aren't in our mind when these things come up with us. Otherwise,

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to avoid a wrong gives you all of these benefits and more that I

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can't even, you know, necessarily bring about right now. That's the

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that's that's the benefit that we have. And especially people who

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want to get closer to Allah subhanho wa Taala we have no

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excuse whatsoever. The desire just not nominally okay, I was born in

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a Muslim household, whatever the case is. There has to be something

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beyond that Islam has to become yours. You have to be the Mothman

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you have to be the believer for all of this to work. And that's

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why it says we're under movement. If you are a believer, you will

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get all of these benefits. And that is the difference between you

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know, a lot of the Hadith says Allah You know, I had to come

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hatha yoga and Hatha Yoga I believe, okay, Hema you're good

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enough. C'est la you know, I had to come Hatta Hakuna, I have the

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LA he been always been be mad he wanted the UNSC HMI in all of

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these Hadith right they make a lot of sense now right? says a person

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is not a true believer until he loves for his brother what he

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loves for himself.

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A person is not none of you believe that.

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until I the process I'm saying become more beloved to them than

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their own family, their wealth and their own self.

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A true believer is the one who, from whose hands and tongue, other

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people are safe.

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We're all believers. But why aren't other people say from our

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hands? Why do we abuse and insult other people? That's the

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difference between a believer and a true believer, a believer and a

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complete believer, a believer and the believer. That's the

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difference.

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That's what all of those Hadees are trying to look, you guys are

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believers already. But you don't want to be a real believer, you

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want to really qualify, you really want that title, then this is what

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you must do.

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It as erotica has undertook was that at Casaya took for inter

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movement, if your good deeds make you satisfied and pleased that you

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are doing good deeds, I'm highly satisfied about him.

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And if your bad deeds, they irritate you, they cause you

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distress.

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They make you feel bad.

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If you got those two feelings, that's a gauge that yes, then you

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are a believer.

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These are all gauges for us that to teach us. And I think at the

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end of the day, all what they do is that they give us a source

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of confidence. And in this world, you can get anywhere with

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confidence. For the most part, you've got confidence that you

00:16:28 --> 00:16:32

will do something, you can move mountains to do it, because you've

00:16:32 --> 00:16:37

got confidence, confidence is strong, and resolve. So it doesn't

00:16:37 --> 00:16:42

matter who's in front of you. If you are saying that this drink has

00:16:42 --> 00:16:44

to be you know, ordered, and I'm going to look freaky, I'm going to

00:16:44 --> 00:16:48

look strange if I don't drink, right? Or if I don't do whatever

00:16:48 --> 00:16:53

it is, I got no guts to say no, then I don't have confidence.

00:16:54 --> 00:16:57

Don't you have something that is immensely valuable? Don't you

00:16:57 --> 00:17:00

treat it valuably, you have to start treating valuably for it to

00:17:00 --> 00:17:01

be than a source of confidence.

00:17:03 --> 00:17:06

You can only be confident about something if you have enough of

00:17:06 --> 00:17:08

it. If you don't have enough money, how are you going to be

00:17:08 --> 00:17:11

confident that you've got enough money? Because you don't have it?

00:17:11 --> 00:17:13

But you got a lot of money. So no, don't worry, I can buy that

00:17:13 --> 00:17:16

knowing I can buy this, I remember I was with a friend of mine, who's

00:17:16 --> 00:17:19

at that time was very wealthy. It lost a lot of money at that time

00:17:19 --> 00:17:23

was very wealthy. And he was trying to order a pizza. This is

00:17:23 --> 00:17:27

crazy. He was trying to order a pizza is in America. So the guy

00:17:27 --> 00:17:31

gave him some attitude. On the other side, who he was calling the

00:17:32 --> 00:17:35

guy who worked in the pizza parlor. So he said, Bring him your

00:17:35 --> 00:17:38

manager, how much is your pay? How much is your pizza parlor worth?

00:17:38 --> 00:17:40

I'll buy it right now or buy your way out.

00:17:42 --> 00:17:46

I was like, take it easy, man. But you could tell the confidence that

00:17:46 --> 00:17:48

he had just because he's got the money. Right?

00:17:49 --> 00:17:52

If you've got confidence in terms of influence, that nothing's going

00:17:52 --> 00:17:56

to happen to you. People do evil like that. Look at all of these

00:17:56 --> 00:17:58

people who are abusing others, a lot of it is because of the

00:17:58 --> 00:18:01

confidence of their position that they are untouchable.

00:18:02 --> 00:18:05

You can have confidence is in confidence in many ways. If you

00:18:05 --> 00:18:10

get if you get attached to the wrong crowd at school, or wrong

00:18:10 --> 00:18:12

crowd at work, or whatever it is, then your confidence is going to

00:18:12 --> 00:18:15

come from the wrong source, that's going to be an evil confidence,

00:18:15 --> 00:18:20

and thus is going to make you do evil. So if kids get into the

00:18:20 --> 00:18:25

wrong set of boys or girls, the wrong set of people who give them

00:18:25 --> 00:18:27

a source of strength and confidence more than they may be

00:18:27 --> 00:18:31

getting at home, right? And they're having issues or whatever

00:18:31 --> 00:18:34

the case is. That's confidence, but you're, you're getting the

00:18:34 --> 00:18:39

wrong confidence, you're going to end up doing wrong. Why do kids

00:18:39 --> 00:18:44

end up doing things so boldly. Whereas if you tell their parents

00:18:44 --> 00:18:50

I saw your kid doing this, like no way, my kid is different. My child

00:18:50 --> 00:18:53

isn't like that. Some parents can't even believe what their

00:18:53 --> 00:18:56

children get up to. And it's true. It's It is unbelievable. But how

00:18:56 --> 00:18:59

do they get up to it is because they've gotten caught up in the

00:18:59 --> 00:19:00

wrong.

00:19:01 --> 00:19:04

Wrong group of people. That's given them this sense of false

00:19:05 --> 00:19:09

false confidence. They're learning to live a bipolar life. Dual

00:19:09 --> 00:19:13

personalities at home they one thing at work or

00:19:14 --> 00:19:19

at would you call it at school, there's something else, maybe the

00:19:19 --> 00:19:22

hijab comes off, if their parents are forcing them, hijab comes off.

00:19:23 --> 00:19:27

And whether it's hijab or not, that's besides the point. This is

00:19:27 --> 00:19:29

one aspect, but then they start doing wrong, but they won't do it

00:19:29 --> 00:19:32

wrong at home. There'll be the sweetest person at home. But

00:19:32 --> 00:19:35

you've got adults like that as well. And they come to the masjid

00:19:36 --> 00:19:38

the difference. When they go outside to work. They're

00:19:38 --> 00:19:41

different. They kind of fit in everywhere they go as well.

00:19:41 --> 00:19:44

They're very mashallah malleable and adjustable.

00:19:45 --> 00:19:48

You have to be adjustable to a certain degree but not complete.

00:19:48 --> 00:19:52

How can battle right and wrong, you know falsehood and, and truth.

00:19:53 --> 00:19:55

But this is all about pressure. This is all about pressure and

00:19:55 --> 00:19:58

it's all about getting that balance. This is all about getting

00:19:58 --> 00:20:00

the balance. Now.

00:20:00 --> 00:20:03

I know sometimes what does happen is that people have had a bad

00:20:03 --> 00:20:08

experience. Right? People have had a bad experience, maybe the kind

00:20:08 --> 00:20:08

of

00:20:10 --> 00:20:13

the kind of ethics that they were shown, which means Islamic ethics,

00:20:13 --> 00:20:16

for example, or the kind of Islamic rules and regulations,

00:20:16 --> 00:20:19

maybe it wasn't imported correctly, maybe it was imparted

00:20:19 --> 00:20:23

to bluntly, maybe was imparted without too much compassion, maybe

00:20:23 --> 00:20:27

it was imparted in a way that was very dry, or whatever the case is,

00:20:27 --> 00:20:30

you can't just tell somebody to do good and expect them to do it,

00:20:30 --> 00:20:33

there has to be a whole environment that surrounds it has

00:20:33 --> 00:20:39

to be conducive, you have to be able to if I want to help somebody

00:20:39 --> 00:20:44

to become more Islamic Lee oriented as such, I have to, I

00:20:44 --> 00:20:47

can't just tell them, You must do this, you must do that. Because

00:20:47 --> 00:20:50

that doesn't necessarily fit into their view of the world, their

00:20:50 --> 00:20:55

environment, their surrounding the the trend that they follow, I need

00:20:55 --> 00:20:59

to have to give them an entire new trend to follow a new entire

00:20:59 --> 00:21:02

lifestyle. And then this becomes easy, then these are just small,

00:21:02 --> 00:21:06

small issues, all the smallest issues, like praying on time, you

00:21:06 --> 00:21:10

know, covering up, just avoiding the all of that, then issues

00:21:10 --> 00:21:15

within a lifestyle choice that you take with the lifestyle choice is

00:21:15 --> 00:21:17

different. And I'm trying to tell you, You just must do this, and it

00:21:17 --> 00:21:20

goes against the left lifestyle choice, it's very difficult.

00:21:21 --> 00:21:25

That's why my job would be to impart a lifestyle change a

00:21:25 --> 00:21:28

perspective how you look at the world differently. by just telling

00:21:28 --> 00:21:30

you, you must do this, you must do that you must do this, you're

00:21:30 --> 00:21:33

going to struggle with it more. But if I start telling you no, you

00:21:33 --> 00:21:36

must think like this, it is important to think like this. And

00:21:36 --> 00:21:39

if you think like this, and this is the harm in it, it's not going

00:21:39 --> 00:21:42

to get you far. It's only for immediate success, immediate

00:21:42 --> 00:21:45

pleasure. What we really need is

00:21:46 --> 00:21:50

blissful bliss in the Acura, right? If I can convince somebody

00:21:50 --> 00:21:53

of that, if you can convince somebody of that, then it's much

00:21:53 --> 00:21:56

easier than to say X, Y, and Zed the smaller issues underneath.

00:21:57 --> 00:22:01

That's why I get a lot of again, a lot of a lot of cases where the

00:22:01 --> 00:22:05

whole perspective about marriages a problem the whole way, the whole

00:22:05 --> 00:22:06

way, the whole

00:22:07 --> 00:22:10

perspective through which the husband sees the wife and wife

00:22:10 --> 00:22:14

sees the husband. And then one of the sides is coming to me to tell

00:22:14 --> 00:22:18

me to guide them said you need a whole paradigm shift, the way

00:22:18 --> 00:22:21

you're looking at the whole marriage is messed up, then that

00:22:21 --> 00:22:23

is why these are just symptoms, you're trying to correct a

00:22:23 --> 00:22:27

symptom, but without trying to correct the underlying problem,

00:22:27 --> 00:22:30

then you've got parents with children, then you've got people

00:22:30 --> 00:22:33

at work in society, that they finding things difficult, there's

00:22:33 --> 00:22:37

a thing going on inside SubhanAllah. There's just a lot of

00:22:37 --> 00:22:40

that stuff. The way to develop it though, is by sitting with good

00:22:40 --> 00:22:43

people, by sitting with people who you think who you can look up to

00:22:43 --> 00:22:46

and say, Hey, he's I think he's got it right. I think he's got a

00:22:46 --> 00:22:50

balance, you start learning paradigms take a while to change,

00:22:50 --> 00:22:53

they don't change overnight, something has to click. And then

00:22:53 --> 00:22:57

after that, slowly, slowly, we make an adjustment. So paradigm

00:22:57 --> 00:23:00

shift in that sense is extremely important, then all a smaller

00:23:00 --> 00:23:03

issues become easy. Today, while it may be difficult for you to

00:23:03 --> 00:23:07

wear hijab, if you have a paradigm shift. Tomorrow, you'd have no

00:23:07 --> 00:23:11

problem with it. Right? If you're having trouble avoiding haram,

00:23:11 --> 00:23:14

that work, paradigm shift, it'll become easier, you'll have the

00:23:14 --> 00:23:18

confidence to deal with it. But if your confidence comes from the

00:23:18 --> 00:23:19

other side,

00:23:20 --> 00:23:21

you want to fit in.

00:23:22 --> 00:23:26

And you think your side is lowly, inferior, deficient.

00:23:27 --> 00:23:28

It's impossible.

00:23:29 --> 00:23:32

You've already given up your whole life, you've sold yourself to

00:23:32 --> 00:23:35

something else, it's gone finished. God made you a believer.

00:23:37 --> 00:23:40

God made us believers. That's what he made us. God chose us for his

00:23:40 --> 00:23:44

faith, with all of the struggles of Rasulullah, salallahu Alaihe

00:23:44 --> 00:23:44

Salam

00:23:47 --> 00:23:50

he chose us to be whether it be in a Muslim household or gave us the

00:23:50 --> 00:23:54

faith and then after that we look elsewhere to find some kind of

00:23:54 --> 00:23:56

comfort and solace.

00:23:57 --> 00:23:58

That's the problem.

00:23:59 --> 00:24:04

You can find comfort on a non religious level. It's not to say

00:24:04 --> 00:24:09

that you must be isolated, but our core ideas must be right. Our core

00:24:09 --> 00:24:12

ideas must be right. So the next time somebody gives you a spray

00:24:12 --> 00:24:12

can

00:24:13 --> 00:24:15

and silently pressures you

00:24:16 --> 00:24:20

we have to walk away from that and say no, you know, what I would

00:24:20 --> 00:24:24

have loved to have seen which I didn't see in all of those is that

00:24:24 --> 00:24:28

kid who would have turned around and sorted the other kid out and

00:24:28 --> 00:24:30

said no, it's wrong, right? You shouldn't do this. And you know

00:24:30 --> 00:24:34

why you shouldn't do this. Because X, Y and Zed it take a you know,

00:24:34 --> 00:24:37

this is actually messing up our community because this is within

00:24:37 --> 00:24:42

our own area. It's messing up our community, and it is causing

00:24:42 --> 00:24:44

problems and so on and so forth.

00:24:45 --> 00:24:48

That's what I would like to have seen and for she wasn't there

00:24:48 --> 00:24:51

wasn't that strong. But we need to teach our children these things

00:24:51 --> 00:24:54

and then we need to learn ourselves about our own challenges

00:24:54 --> 00:24:55

like this.

00:24:56 --> 00:24:56

So

00:24:58 --> 00:24:58

that was

00:25:00 --> 00:25:00

One of the points

00:25:03 --> 00:25:05

that's why Imam Ghazali says that the person who's got his paradigm,

00:25:05 --> 00:25:10

right, whose heart is in the right place, whose heart only takes

00:25:10 --> 00:25:13

comfort from the correct things, the right things, the beneficial

00:25:13 --> 00:25:17

things from Allah subhanaw taala. Then he says, what might as Xu

00:25:18 --> 00:25:19

Mithila, huddle, calm,

00:25:21 --> 00:25:25

how weighty, how significant how valuable and precious is such a

00:25:25 --> 00:25:29

heart. Because to get the heart and prune it to that level where

00:25:29 --> 00:25:32

you're balanced in the way you see things, you actually start feeling

00:25:32 --> 00:25:36

good. One of the signs is that last Hadith that I mentioned that

00:25:36 --> 00:25:41

if your good deeds, make you feel good, and your bad deeds make you

00:25:41 --> 00:25:45

feel bad, that means your heart is there in moderation. Now, you've

00:25:45 --> 00:25:48

got that heart, because you need to start feeling good about what

00:25:48 --> 00:25:51

you do. You know about the good things that you do, you need to

00:25:51 --> 00:25:54

start feeling good about it. Because that provides a massive,

00:25:56 --> 00:25:59

a massive dopamine rush, you can say provides a massive

00:26:00 --> 00:26:04

exhilaration and elation. And thus you want to do it more.

00:26:05 --> 00:26:08

Otherwise, if you feel you have to do it under pressure or force,

00:26:08 --> 00:26:11

then you're demoralized. And studies show that if you're doing

00:26:11 --> 00:26:16

something in a demoralized way, then you are just I think you're

00:26:16 --> 00:26:19

dripping cortisol. That's what they call it. And you just

00:26:19 --> 00:26:24

basically suffering, it's bad for you. That's why you need to learn

00:26:24 --> 00:26:29

to do it properly. You need to write want to be seen doing

00:26:29 --> 00:26:32

something, I need to want to do it for yourself. It doesn't matter

00:26:32 --> 00:26:35

what anybody else thinks, then you you could be one in the crowd and

00:26:35 --> 00:26:36

you won't have an issue.

00:26:37 --> 00:26:41

We'll be able to deal with it. So this is a very weighty and very

00:26:41 --> 00:26:44

valuable type of a heart. And that's why

00:26:47 --> 00:26:52

we did it. La Mirada Alayhis Salam Kula had Illa fatwa Calbee that is

00:26:52 --> 00:26:55

why the Prophet salallahu Salam didn't mention this as a general

00:26:55 --> 00:26:59

Hadith to everybody that anybody who has an issue will have some

00:26:59 --> 00:27:02

turbulence in the heart about an issue, they should ask their

00:27:02 --> 00:27:06

heart. He said that to the person himself to a particular person is

00:27:06 --> 00:27:09

what Imam Ghazali says that this is not a universal ruling for

00:27:09 --> 00:27:12

anybody that just asked your heart and go with it. Because there's a

00:27:12 --> 00:27:14

lot of corrupt hearts or they may Allah protects it from a corrupt

00:27:14 --> 00:27:17

hard that you start giving our own fatwas, we're in trouble. So

00:27:17 --> 00:27:20

that's why he says that these kinds of hearts they come by very

00:27:20 --> 00:27:23

seldom, and they're very valuable when they come by and that is why

00:27:23 --> 00:27:25

the prophets Allah doesn't didn't tell everybody do that. Ya know,

00:27:25 --> 00:27:28

my call is Radek. quadratically will be Salima Khanna out of I

00:27:28 --> 00:27:32

mean, Hardy, he said that to the sahabi. Who he said it too,

00:27:32 --> 00:27:37

because he knew that his state was right. He had that balance, where

00:27:37 --> 00:27:39

if he did a good deed, he would be feeling satisfied. And if he did a

00:27:39 --> 00:27:42

bad if he would know he's doing wrong, so he's got the fine

00:27:42 --> 00:27:47

tuning. Right. He had the alignments. I mean, the hadith is

00:27:47 --> 00:27:50

kind of open to interpretation that some scholars do argue that

00:27:50 --> 00:27:54

no, it could be general. So Allama Munna we, he says in his federal

00:27:54 --> 00:27:58

Kadena that, while some scholars have said that this is a universal

00:27:58 --> 00:28:00

application, it's not just for wabi sabi. It's not only for

00:28:00 --> 00:28:03

particular people, but it's for anybody, then obviously, it is

00:28:03 --> 00:28:07

going to be at least for the it's going to be for people who have at

00:28:07 --> 00:28:10

least the following category qualities, Furman Shara Hala who

00:28:10 --> 00:28:13

sat there who been really a team, somebody who's got conviction,

00:28:13 --> 00:28:18

conviction about his way, about the right way. Allah has, Allah

00:28:18 --> 00:28:20

has expanded his * for that case.

00:28:21 --> 00:28:24

For after Julio who will be in which already had in Romanian when

00:28:24 --> 00:28:27

he did that inshallah Ian were Illa Zima who at Bahasa Indonesia

00:28:27 --> 00:28:31

Hello, Sandro. And then somebody gives them just some random on

00:28:31 --> 00:28:33

today. It's okay. It's alright.

00:28:35 --> 00:28:36

I must have told you about

00:28:38 --> 00:28:41

the person. One of the students I knew from Morocco who had didn't

00:28:41 --> 00:28:46

have any money left and you needed a job. And finally, you know, he

00:28:46 --> 00:28:49

was struggling, he didn't have enough money to survive. And

00:28:49 --> 00:28:51

somebody then told him Look, there's a job at a place which

00:28:51 --> 00:28:56

also sells alcohol, but he just couldn't agree with it. He just

00:28:56 --> 00:28:59

couldn't agree with it. Even though the most knowledgeable

00:28:59 --> 00:29:01

person that he knew around him said it's okay for you. And that

00:29:01 --> 00:29:04

wasn't necessarily a bad fatwa to be honest. Because if you are

00:29:04 --> 00:29:06

suffering and you've got nowhere you're gonna be on the street.

00:29:07 --> 00:29:10

Then there is a fatwa that allows you to take up a job that has a

00:29:10 --> 00:29:12

bit of a haram in there, right until you can find something

00:29:12 --> 00:29:16

better. That's what it is. Right? Not by choice, obviously. And you

00:29:16 --> 00:29:19

must be then looking to move on. So while he had the photo about

00:29:19 --> 00:29:22

his his he'd been trained very well Mashallah. It was probably

00:29:22 --> 00:29:26

about 20 Something at the time, and he refused. And he ended up

00:29:26 --> 00:29:29

then just because of the sub that he did, Allah gave him a much much

00:29:29 --> 00:29:34

better job where he then had so much more comfort in in what he

00:29:34 --> 00:29:37

could do with the money he received. So he got ended up

00:29:37 --> 00:29:39

getting a lot more money than he what he would have made here

00:29:39 --> 00:29:39

anyway.

00:29:41 --> 00:29:43

Allah wants to test us of course.

00:29:46 --> 00:29:48

If knowledgeable humbly, in his jammy room, you will he come he

00:29:48 --> 00:29:52

speaks about this hadith he says that this hadith indicates that

00:29:52 --> 00:29:57

Allah subhanho wa Taala has programmed the nature of a human

00:29:57 --> 00:29:59

being to be able to discern the good and bad

00:30:00 --> 00:30:02

It's within our programs within our ability

00:30:03 --> 00:30:07

that we have that chip inside. Right, we've got that ability to

00:30:07 --> 00:30:11

see the truth and wrong, as long as you don't get so messed up that

00:30:11 --> 00:30:14

no longer does. You know, when on your computer, it has sound, it

00:30:14 --> 00:30:19

has lots of things. But sometimes I've ever seen when the sound card

00:30:19 --> 00:30:22

gets messed up, so the screen is coming on, but you don't hear any

00:30:22 --> 00:30:25

sounds, then you have to kind of redo the drivers and everything.

00:30:25 --> 00:30:27

So we've got the drivers in our heart for all the good and bad.

00:30:28 --> 00:30:31

It's just that sometimes just get corrupted, maybe there's massive

00:30:31 --> 00:30:33

virus in our heart or something.

00:30:34 --> 00:30:37

So this had these tells us that Allah subhanho wa Taala has

00:30:38 --> 00:30:44

created his servants on a nature to recognize the truth, and to

00:30:44 --> 00:30:49

find comfort in the truth and to accept it. And he has also

00:30:49 --> 00:30:55

instilled in the nature, to love the truth. And to turn away and

00:30:55 --> 00:30:57

feel really

00:30:58 --> 00:31:01

feel really, you can say

00:31:04 --> 00:31:06

unfriendly. And

00:31:08 --> 00:31:13

discomfort, there's a lot of feel really uncomfortable to have a lot

00:31:13 --> 00:31:17

of discomfort when it comes to the opposite of that. That's why have

00:31:17 --> 00:31:21

you noticed what is the word for good and bad in in Arabic?

00:31:23 --> 00:31:30

Not for reward and not for reward, and Thor but what is the the word

00:31:30 --> 00:31:33

they generally use for good and Bad's in Arabic?

00:31:34 --> 00:31:37

There is one that's kind of obedience, right?

00:31:39 --> 00:31:42

Hey, Russia is good, hey, Russia is very straightforward. There's

00:31:42 --> 00:31:42

another word

00:31:44 --> 00:31:48

I'm gonna build my roof in here in monka monka on my roof, these are

00:31:48 --> 00:31:52

actually very literal terms of you know, system, my roof just means

00:31:52 --> 00:31:57

something which is recognized, something that is known. And

00:31:57 --> 00:32:02

munkar is something that is unknown, something that you have

00:32:02 --> 00:32:06

an aversion to. So the word itself has that meaning, something that

00:32:06 --> 00:32:12

is, has an aversion Moncure in car means to deny something in car

00:32:12 --> 00:32:16

means to not recognize something, to deny something to reject

00:32:16 --> 00:32:21

something so Moncure is that which is denied, rejected, unknown. And

00:32:21 --> 00:32:26

my roof RFID fu where we get out of here from Maratha, it means to

00:32:26 --> 00:32:29

recognize my roof is that which is recognized.

00:32:31 --> 00:32:34

And the RF is on recognizes the my roof and the monkey.

00:32:35 --> 00:32:36

So

00:32:39 --> 00:32:43

the global warming in the hearts of the believers, they generally

00:32:43 --> 00:32:47

find comfort with the remembrance of Allah as long as you haven't

00:32:47 --> 00:32:48

got it.

00:32:50 --> 00:32:53

We as long as we haven't gotten habituated to finding comfort in

00:32:53 --> 00:32:56

something else, that the way to pass our time is just to watch

00:32:56 --> 00:32:57

videos on YouTube.

00:32:58 --> 00:33:01

Or just to watch all the clips that hundreds of people send you

00:33:01 --> 00:33:01

every day.

00:33:02 --> 00:33:05

Because they they must have some benefit because religious people

00:33:05 --> 00:33:08

are sending it to you. That's the way we pass our time.

00:33:09 --> 00:33:11

That's why even though Hydral hate me says that

00:33:14 --> 00:33:17

about this hadith where the Prophet sallallahu Sallam told his

00:33:17 --> 00:33:21

Sahabi to ask his heart, you could tell that this is a Hobby Lobby.

00:33:21 --> 00:33:25

So his name is the Prophet sallallahu. Some knew that he had

00:33:25 --> 00:33:29

the illumination of the heart, his heart would guide him right he had

00:33:29 --> 00:33:31

enough light in his heart to be able to discern what's right and

00:33:31 --> 00:33:34

wrong. Because at the end of the day, that's what it is. Do we have

00:33:34 --> 00:33:39

a spiritual light that will tell us this is bad for you? Or it's so

00:33:39 --> 00:33:40

dark that we just do it?

00:33:42 --> 00:33:45

It's a spiritual light that that it's all about it's Iraq, we'll

00:33:45 --> 00:33:48

call be done. We will call basically, that's why he says that

00:33:48 --> 00:33:54

anybody who's got a dense phobia that is not refined by Islam.

00:33:55 --> 00:34:00

We see that dua that we read. Yeah, yeah. What are we? What is

00:34:00 --> 00:34:04

it? Yeah, huffy a lot V. A designee billet vehicle coffee.

00:34:05 --> 00:34:07

This DA is essentially for that purpose.

00:34:09 --> 00:34:14

The whole purpose of this DA is a one of hidden kindness, a one a

00:34:14 --> 00:34:16

hidden of subtle power.

00:34:17 --> 00:34:22

Sophisticated power. That's the meaning of Latif Latif is kindness

00:34:22 --> 00:34:25

in one sense. In other sense, it means the one who's very

00:34:25 --> 00:34:28

sophisticated in what he can do. So we're calling out to Allah by

00:34:28 --> 00:34:33

through a word, very powerful name of allah of kindness and have

00:34:33 --> 00:34:37

really, really sophisticated ability to do something or

00:34:37 --> 00:34:40

directly be looked fickle, huffy, take hold of me with your hidden

00:34:40 --> 00:34:43

kindness, or shower me

00:34:44 --> 00:34:48

with your hidden sophistication. Give me that sophistication as

00:34:48 --> 00:34:52

well. Give me that look from the understanding as well. So these

00:34:52 --> 00:34:56

are all meanings of this dua. So next time we read it, we should we

00:34:56 --> 00:34:58

can have that meaning. That's what he's saying that anybody who's the

00:34:58 --> 00:35:00

opposite of that, who has

00:35:00 --> 00:35:04

A heart that is dense and thick, and doesn't have that

00:35:04 --> 00:35:08

sophistication and insight and understanding about evil Iraq who

00:35:08 --> 00:35:12

can't perceive things because the light, the spiritual light isn't

00:35:12 --> 00:35:15

powerful enough. For now your job will be learning that he won't

00:35:15 --> 00:35:19

give you that hard will not give you the right answer. So asking

00:35:19 --> 00:35:21

your heart there, it's just a waste of time because you know

00:35:21 --> 00:35:22

what you want to do.

00:35:24 --> 00:35:27

But the fact is that if you're even questioning yourself, then

00:35:27 --> 00:35:30

that means you got a decent heart. People who don't have it, they're

00:35:30 --> 00:35:34

not going to ask themselves, or if we see that we ask ourselves, but

00:35:34 --> 00:35:36

our heart is mostly saying, yeah, just do it, man. What's wrong with

00:35:36 --> 00:35:39

it, just do it. Don't be so strict.

00:35:40 --> 00:35:44

Don't be so strict. Life is very difficult as it is, these are all

00:35:44 --> 00:35:48

counter arguments, or counter arguments to it. This is this

00:35:48 --> 00:35:50

hadith is also proof that the Prophet sallallahu is to speak to

00:35:50 --> 00:35:56

his companions according to their status. So he knew why because I

00:35:56 --> 00:35:59

had this capability so just ask yourself, you're fine. You can ask

00:35:59 --> 00:36:03

yourself so Allah subhanaw taala help us to understand this. The

00:36:03 --> 00:36:06

devil Anna and hamdulillah here on the anatomy Allahumma Indus Salam

00:36:06 --> 00:36:09

Amin consider and a lot of the other jewelry with the Quran Allah

00:36:09 --> 00:36:14

homea haiku yaka Yun bureaux medical history. So handle Allah

00:36:14 --> 00:36:17

hilarity in Ireland or herb Oh Allah we ask You for Your Mercy we

00:36:17 --> 00:36:21

ask You for Your blessing of Allah we ask you for your light of Allah

00:36:21 --> 00:36:24

We asked you for your light Oh ALLAH Illuminate our hearts Oh

00:36:24 --> 00:36:30

ALLAH purify our hearts of Allah purify our hearts of Allah grant

00:36:30 --> 00:36:33

us equilibrium in our understanding of Allah guide us of

00:36:33 --> 00:36:37

Allah grant us guidance. Oh Allah grant us moderation. Oh Allah

00:36:37 --> 00:36:41

grant is a HUD that sees the right is the right and the wrong as the

00:36:41 --> 00:36:45

wrong Oh ALLAH then give us the ability to avoid the wrongs and oh

00:36:45 --> 00:36:48

Allah give us ability to do the right. Oh Allah grant us

00:36:48 --> 00:36:53

conviction grant us enough Yaqeen by which it becomes easy for us in

00:36:53 --> 00:36:57

this world to do that which is right. Oh Allah, we ask that You

00:36:57 --> 00:36:58

grant us

00:37:00 --> 00:37:04

pious people to surround us Oh Allah we ask that You grant us

00:37:04 --> 00:37:08

kind and righteous people who are friends. Oh Allah we ask You for

00:37:08 --> 00:37:11

protection from the evil people from the evil enemy of Allah we

00:37:11 --> 00:37:15

ask you protection from evil companions of Allah, we ask that

00:37:15 --> 00:37:20

you allow us to control our desires of Allah, we ask that you

00:37:20 --> 00:37:23

allow us to be confident in our way to grant us the true

00:37:23 --> 00:37:27

understanding. Oh Allah, whatever challenges that we have a one

00:37:27 --> 00:37:30

Allah grant us an ability to understand and to do that which is

00:37:30 --> 00:37:35

right. And Allah grant us satisfaction in our hearts, grant

00:37:35 --> 00:37:39

us contentment in our heart, remove the darkness from our life.

00:37:39 --> 00:37:42

Remove the turbulences. Oh Allah removed the difficulties that we

00:37:42 --> 00:37:47

face, oh Allah fulfill our permissible, permissible desires

00:37:47 --> 00:37:51

are permissible needs of Allah we ask you for your help we ask you

00:37:51 --> 00:37:54

for your assistance or Allah bless all those who are sitting here

00:37:54 --> 00:37:57

today all those who are listening, all those who will listen Oh

00:37:57 --> 00:38:00

Allah, we ask that you bless us all. You can grant us guidance you

00:38:00 --> 00:38:03

grant us understanding and Oh Allah, you make us of those who

00:38:03 --> 00:38:07

are close to you. Oh Allah who are loved by you and who love you. Oh

00:38:07 --> 00:38:11

Allah make the best of our days the final days of our life. And oh

00:38:11 --> 00:38:13

Allah make the best moment of our life the day that we stand in

00:38:13 --> 00:38:16

front of you. Oh Allah send you abundant blessings on our

00:38:16 --> 00:38:19

messenger Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa salam granted his

00:38:19 --> 00:38:22

company in the hereafter Subhan Allah because Allah is setting

00:38:22 --> 00:38:25

mIRC phone was set down when Alamo city in 100 in the hill

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