Abdur Rahman ibn Yusuf Mangera – Qur’anic Reflections Marriage and Taqwa
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Salam aleikum wa rahmatullah wa barakato. May Allah subhanaw taala
bless our Ramadan's especially through the Holy Quran, we start
with a verse or all the will him in a shape or any rajim Bismillah
Al Rahman Al Rahim in Al Muslimeen our Muslim Matthew well meaning in
our minute you want to find ET and I want to call Anita it was saw up
you never saw the report was Savini you never saw Bharati well
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the court was saw me in our saw image you will have your Lena for
Raja whom will have a lot he was kidding. Allah girthier Oh, the
key rod at the law who know who know Virata who run now the email.
So that's the first verse. And this is basically continuing from
another reflection that we did earlier about the position of
women in Islam. Allah subhanaw taala here in verse 35, of sorts
that says, very the Muslim men and women, the believing men and
women, men and women who are obedient men and women who are
truthful men and women who are patient, men and women who are
humble, men and women who give charity men and women who fast men
and women who got their chastity and men and women who remember
Allah, much Allah has promised forgiveness for them and a great
reward. Allah subhanaw taala here seems to take delight in speaking
so such highly and singling out women hear as well along with the
men and decides to use those additional words to add the women
along with the men, even though it's understood throughout the
Quran that nearly all the laws in the Quran even though it's
speaking about men, that they relate to women as well. However,
in this particular case, and as like in certain other selected
places, Allah subhanaw taala decides to actually bring a
mention of the women at the same time. Nobody argues that you know,
the women just because they mentioned here that in other
places that women are not included. But Allah subhanaw taala
seems to take delight in this regard, especially to speak about
such devout women because all the women mentioned here, they're all
doing something of development of devotion. They're all doing
something of righteousness and piety and Subhan, Allah, Allah
subhanaw taala values that hugely, so Allah subhanaw taala actually
singled them out with these additional words, and says, both
the male and the female who do this? And so, I mean, I think
maybe the reason Allah subhanaw taala does this is because there's
some people who consider that women to be inferior in every
sense, including in a, in a right in piety and so on as well. Allah
subhanaw taala makes it clear that no Allah while they may have
separate roles, and that may be mistaken to have to be, you know,
a weaker role or that may be taken to be a weaker role or maybe take
them to be a lesser role or whatever the case is that exact
same in the sight of Allah subhanaw taala and Allah subhanho
wa Taala takes joy in mentioning and reveling basically mentioning
both of them in great happiness and mentioning their excellent
conduct and their entitlement to reward. Now let us move on a bit.
I'm going to mention to you three versus three more verses, which
you've probably heard of many, many times. If you've been to a
marriage ceremony, you will have heard these three verses, these
are the three verses that are mentioned. Right? These are the
three verses that are nearly always mentioned always read when
a marriage is conducted because they form part of the marriage
hotbox and these verses the first one is from surah nisa.
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verse. That's the first verse which we read of Surah Nisa,
second verse sort of earlier Imran verse 102. Yeah, you have levena
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All believers, fear Allah as he should be feared and do not die
except in the state of Islam in the state of submission. That's
the second verse. The third verse is from surah verse 70 and 71
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This means all believers fear Allah and speak the truth. He will
direct you to good deeds and will forgive your sins. And whoever
obeys Allah and His messenger. He has indeed attained a great
achievement. Now what's really interesting here, maybe you've
been able to see it already. And the reason why I'm bringing these
three verses up, is because these are very prominent verses that are
quoted and read so often in the Hotbox. And those of us who don't
understand Arabic, then they don't understand. I mean, they they
probably hear the recurring theme of the verses, but they don't
understand what they mean. And what's the signification of
significance of actually mentioning these verses in a
married situation? So that's what we're going to look at the first
thing that you'll see from all three of these, is it duckula It
duckula it duckula Right, is Fear Allah subhanaw taala and gain
consciousness of him. That's pretty much the big message from
this. Now,
let's look at it that the marriage that is conducted marriage is a
biological need. Right? That's definite, I mean, people
understand that marriage is you know, done for a biological need.
However, beyond that, and probably more importantly as well, is
marriage also represents a kind of worship, right? This is really
interesting, nearly all the messengers, right? They entered
into wedlock, right? And it is the Sunnah of the Prophet sallallahu
alayhi wa sallam himself, right? And he really fulfilled the
Sunnah. Right? And
what marriage does is that it reminds a man of a very important
duty, that they should be cognizant of Allah subhanho wa
taala, and the servitude to Allah subhanaw taala because he's the
one who created them that way and gave them and design them and
designated for them to be together like this and the pleasure that
you receive and comfort that you that you attain. It's all from
Allah subhanho wa taala. That's why the verses we read, which are
mentioned in the sermon, you know, as I said, the first one is from
surah, Nisa itself and underscores the important status of women,
right?
They both have responsibilities, Allah subhanaw taala. Speaking to
both. That's what I said, Yeah, you have nurse Allah created you
from male and female, right? So Allah subhanaw taala asks mankind
to fear the Lord who has created them from a single person, which
is Adam Ali salam from him, he created how are they a Salaam and
then from them, that's where we all came from. So Allah subhanaw
taala says, there's good reason, you know, to fear me, right?
Because I am the beginning of everything. Allah subhanaw taala
in this verse actually recounts the beginning of the human race,
right? It's a very auspicious beginning. And this is basically
our history. This is the story of our ancestor, right there. Marisa
Rahman how Alia Salam, Allah subhanho wa Taala created first
just at the mighty salaam, right in non embryonic way, you know,
through play, and then after that Allah subhanaw taala soon created
a spouse from the medicine, Allah subhanaw taala created his spouse
from one of his bones, okay, one of his ribs. And now mashallah the
whole of the world is populated. And marriage is a very, very
natural process, natural moral principle should be adopted in
marriage, right. And that's why Allah subhanaw taala mentioned
this first pair as being a blessing, right? This first pair
or the Marisol is
a blessing, right? Because otherwise we would not have been
here. We learned a number of things, number of things from
this, how Allah subhanaw taala created everybody from a single
person, right? A large gap in a person's life, you know, when
they're not married, and then when they get married, especially when
it's done it successfully. It fills a massive gap in life
Subhanallah it fills a massive gap in life. When I got married, I
deleted a bit I think I mean, no, not really. I could have deleted
more. But when I did get married, I wished I married at least a few
years earlier. It's just somehow like so much comfortable. So much
comfort you gain from that. It's just so much that you get from it.
It's like the fulfillment of a human need. It's a it's what we're
made for one another, and men and women should come sooner than
later. Unfortunately, in today's world, people are coming later.
They're not marrying early enough. Unfortunately, they do get
involved. Many people are getting involved in an unlawful
relationships. And that's not a good thing at all. Now, again,
what these verses show us is that man is not just dependent on Allah
subhanaw taala. But he's also dependent on his fellow human
beings in all his transactions, and his social relations. For
example, the education, right, it ties the teacher and the student
together, as I mentioned in another reflection, right, the
teachers responsibility to teach but also then to check on the
child's rearing and nourishment, or the students nourishment, and
so on. Each one of us is dependent on another for something or the
other. Nobody can claim to be absolutely independent, because
the stuff we eat that which we clothe ourselves that which we do,
maybe you know we can't make and manufacture and grow and all of
these things. That's why we need others to do it for us. So
no man can exercise absolute authority or power in this world
because that's not the design
Allah subhanho wa Taala is the absolute authority. He owes us
nothing, yet he gives us so much. He's the only one in absolute
power absolute authority. Right? Nobody else can claim to do that
if they do that they are competing with Allah subhanaw taala. And
Allah subhanaw taala doesn't like competition. So Allah subhanaw
taala is asking us to fear Allah, right? To fear Allah whose name a
person would invoke for others helps others help. For example,
right. For example, when in Islam when we get married to one
another, we do it in the name of Allah subhanho wa taala. There are
Quranic verses recited, there are Hadith that are mentioned and
recounted, and there's, there's the praise of Allah subhanho wa
Taala that comes about in that regard. And Islam links people and
teaches them to join one another through matrimonial alliances of
this nature, right. And the purpose of this matrimonial
alliance is to forge mutual relations among individuals,
races, and communities. If you look at the progress of awesomes,
various marriages, they did just that, right, they brought so many
communities together in a very, very disparate and disjointed
landscape, they brought so many people together, and the united
them all under the banner of Islam, in the name of Allah
subhanaw taala. Along with this, Allah subhanaw taala in with
through the same verses tells us that you better maintain your
kinship, right. And
just because when a person gets married, there's a new kinship
that He's tying, there's a new connection he's making. And it's a
very engaging and involving connection with one spouse, the
wife will join with the husband, the husband will join with the
wife, they will have a lot of shared, and common interests, they
will have children together, they will be you know, depending on one
another. So what some people tend to do is they forget their
original birth and blood relatives. So Allah subhanaw taala
is saying, don't forget that I mean, that's very relevant coming
after the discussion of husband and wife in a marriage context,
that don't forget your kinship with one another. Right, and don't
have shortcomings in that regard, don't neglect those relations of a
lot of people do Subhanallah a lot of people do. And some husbands
actually forced their wives to neglect a relationship with her
side of the family. Likewise, you get some wives who forced the
husband, to do the same with his side of the story with his side of
the family. And that is wrong, because Allah subhanaw taala says,
Allah is Ever Watchful over you to make sure you don't do that. He's
counting everything that we do.
There after that,
you can see the verse 102, of sorts of other Imran, again,
that's the most simple of us in the sense that is asking people to
believe as to fear Allah as much as he should be feared. So that
one is actually telling Allah and telling us not to just fear Allah,
but fear Allah in the way he wants us to be, wants us to fear him
that he's entitled to that he deserves that he must be feared.
Right? So man is not free to set a standard on this himself that I
can feel I'm only going to fear him this much or that much. That's
been determined by the Sharia. Our fear of Allah subhanaw taala is
determined by the Sharia, that obviously includes obeying his
commands, and pursuing the way that's been prescribed by him and
avoiding the forearms and the rungs, and, and so on. Marriage is
a happy occasion. And people get a bit overboard on marriage, because
it's a happy occasion. They think it's a once in a lifetime event.
So that's why they somehow they almost think that God looks the
other way. Right? This is not Purim like the Jews have where
they say God looks the other way. And they you know, they they think
they can do so many different things on that day. No. In fact, I
my experience, and my encouragement is that make sure
that your wedding, your whole wedding process and everything is
as according to the Sharia as possible, because you need every
bit of blessing from Allah subhanaw taala to make the
subsequent day's work, the few days of the wedding ceremonies and
receptions will end the night the honeymoon will come to an end,
then the real grit of life starts after that and that's when you
need Allah subhanaw taala has helped most and you don't want to
start off on the wrong foot. Then the last verse that's quoted,
again, exhorts believers to fear Allah subhanaw taala in this case,
say the right word. Speak the truth. Don't say wrong things
don't do falsehood. Right? And very, very, very intricately
explained. The believers are directed to speak the truth. And
when you speak the truth what Allah subhanaw taala
Once from us is to actually become habituated to truth, to grow
habitual in truth. And that is when it will change the character
of people, when you make a habit of the truth, for the sake of the
truth, right? That is what will set the right course in your life,
you will not have to worry about what you said the last time, you
will be a very, very truthful character because that's your
perspective. Okay? And Allah will help us and Allah will assist us
in that regard. Marriage is a sunnah of the Prophet sallallahu
alayhi wa sallam, right? It draws us closer to Allah, it gives us a
fulfillment of our human desires, right? And marriage is a
privilege.
Many people think that the marriage ritual marriage is no
more than a ritual. Right? The marriage ceremony is no more than
ritual. Actually, it's a mode of worship, as I said, the Adama have
mentioned right that whoever leads his marriage life in accordance
with the Sharia is considered to be constantly engaged in worship
Adji
there was one of the great scholars of the Sakana Shah
Muhammad Yaqoob. And Sheikh Abdullah Hassan Ali nadwi actually
quoted and I say this because I want I want to provide some
backing for where I'm saying this because this is an amazing point.
He says,
when you start your prayer, you get reward. When you intend your
prayer, when you're waiting for your prayer, you get a reward. But
as soon as you finish your prayer, and you've done it, your reward
ends until you start anticipating the next prayer. However, marriage
is 24/7 If you've been married for the right reason, doing the right
things, and you're trying to do the right thing and maintain the
marriage in the right way. It's a 24/7 reward. That's amazing 24/7
reward anybody who thinks that anybody who feels that their
marriage is going to be inshallah prosperous, as if they're doing it
in the right way. And they're doing with the right sentiment,
because marriage is filled with a number of other
deeds that are very valued in the sight of Allah. Marriage means you
are looking after one another you're looking after somebody else
you're complimenting somebody, you are increasing the human progeny
Inshallah, right? You are continuing the human cycle which
Allah subhanaw taala wants from us.
You are if it's a man, and he's spending on his family, that's a
sadaqa, can you believe it, you give money to a relief
organization, and everybody knows the reward for that you spend on
your family, not exclusively, that you just manufacture, you don't
spend anybody else but you also spend on your family, you might
feel like, hey, you know what, I need that thing. But I don't feel
like buying it, because I'm going to spend so much money on it. Even
though I've got the money. Some people are very stingy, very
miserly, Allah subhanaw taala has incentivize this, and said, You
will be rewarded. It's a sadhaka to spend on your family. Of
course, don't go overboard. There are people because it's their self
interest to spend on their family and to see their family in, you
know, adorned in a certain way. And, you know, looking nice and in
good clothing and in good house and everything and you think
you're gonna get reward for that just to show off, no, you won't
get it for to show off, you will get it for, for for beautifying
them for making them look good, and for basically making them
happy, as long as it's not done with extravagance, and it's not
done, and gone overboard with it. And that's what's important. So a
person gets rewarded for doing that. And that's why
Allah subhanaw taala, in that verse conclude that whoever obeys
Allah, and His messenger, he has in T indeed, attained a great
achievement. And that's why everything that we do, needs to be
done according to our Islam, may Allah subhanaw taala make our
marriages prosperous. Now in sha Allah after reading these verses,
we understand that what brings it all together. And the name in
which we got married was the name of Allah. And the one who we need
to fear in our marriages regarding our marriages, is ALLAH SubhanA wa
Tada. And having said that, we mustn't abandon and neglect our
other responsibilities in this world. Marriage does not justify
the abandonment of other responsibilities and other people,
and we must be married for the sake of Allah subhanaw taala.
That's what becomes a holy marriage, that becomes a more
sanctified marriage, and that will be much more prosperous, more
blessed, and have much more blessing than a marriage that is
not filled with this. Maybe if you're having trouble in your
marriages, maybe one of these elements are missing. And
sometimes I've seen that it's just a good idea to have another Nika
done, right? And just as a refresher, Nika, right, that's the
concept and mashallah it's brought people back on the poor people
back into harmony because something had come to mess it up.
May Allah subhanaw taala grant us the harmony grant has taqwa and
may Allah subhanho wa taala. The next time we see these verses, we
hear these verses.
We will understand the message and it will give us a message just
like Allaha As Salam alaykum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh, please
keep us all in your doors, both the speaker, the production team,
and mashallah the families and we pray for you as well that Allah
bless you all as Salaam Alaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh.
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wa rahmatullah wa barakato.