Abdur Rahman ibn Yusuf Mangera – Q&A Viewing the Face of the Deceased
AI: Summary ©
The speaker discusses the importance of seeing the face of the deceased, as it is considered a necessary part of the deceased's ritual. They also mention the need for people to educate their parents and their visitors about the situation. The speaker suggests that people should manage their behavior and avoid getting into trouble.
AI: Summary ©
also is it necessary for people to view the face of the disease? No,
that's become a very, that's become a big tradition.
And sometimes people aren't buried until the face is seen. So they
have this huge group of I remember there was one I attended, where
they opened it, the face, they reveal the face for people to see
it was wintertime when Margaret and Margaret were very close
together. And they nearly had to Miss Margaret because it took so
long to everybody to see the face, he was a well known person.
And then you know, to do the burial, so it's not necessary. So
recently, when my uncle passed away, we only allowed the very
close family members to see because there's nothing no harm in
seeing. The Prophet salallahu Salam was seen by Abu Bakr Siddiq
early on, he was their worker, they are the Allahu Anhu came, he
kissed him on his forehead. And he said trip to Haiti and Romanian us
so pleasant both in your life and in your death. So seeing the face
is nothing wrong with it, right? In that sense, but when it becomes
a culture, and you just see it because of the tradition, one is
you got a close friend, he's got a desire to have one last look
Hamdulillah. But strangers, oh, you just want to see him. Or you
should see him. Everybody's seeing him. So I should see him. That's
where the problem comes. Otherwise, there's nothing wrong
with seeing per se, it's just when it becomes a necessary part of the
ritual. That's when it becomes problematic.
If it is such a sensitive time for the family, and some people are
offended, if not given a chance to view the deceased face. And they
find this quite strange. Yes, I agree with you. If it's close
friends and family, then you should oblige. Because they've got
a desire as well, they were friends. And if the prophets Allah
loves him, has told us that when your parents pass away, and your
father passes away, you it's, it's, it's good for you to be good
to their friends to keep a tie of kinship with your father's
friends. With your parents friends, that's, that's mentioned.
So if you're supposed to be good with your father's friends, for
example, then allowing such close people, close friends and so on to
see, then you shouldn't be overly sensitive, some, it's from both
sides. Right? Some people make it a ritual and want to see just when
they don't even know the person or they just kind of knew him from
afar. That's a problem. There's other people, I've also seen where
they be become so protective, that they don't want anybody to come
and see or even when they ill or something. Now I know that our
martial our culture is such that we can flood the hospital, right
with people. And that causes a big aggravation for people. So
sometimes you do have to, but maybe, then you can just be
selective, to allow some people and just explain. The problem
comes is when you don't educate people of why you're doing
something. So recently, when there was a particular meat of that
nature, some of the Friends of the deceased as family were being very
protective, and the relatives were feeling left out. The relatives
were feeling left out because the disease family. Now the problem is
our culture, we know that we when there's a mate, we're gonna stay
there like 24 hours a day, that's a bit wrong as well, you're
supposed to go and do condolence, and sit as much as is conveniently
comfortable for both the person whose morning, the wife or the
husband, wherever it is, they've also got issues, they also need
some time off, you're gonna stay there the whole day, then you have
to worry about food and lots of management has to take place.
It's weird, because the visitors think the close ones, they think
you must stay the whole day for three days, and you must drop your
work and everything and do that. And
the person who's mourning, they can't tell, you know. So it gets
really confusing. That's why one very good thing that I saw in the
local area is that when the father passed away, they actually put a
nice notice up outside the door of the house, you know, with the How
to come and do a yada, how to come and condole, give condolence, how
long, you should stay all the virtues and everything, so that
whenever visitors came, they generally got to read that. This
is what's missing. With us, because it's a certain culture, we
just think it has to be done. But the family, they need to manage
people's expectations. So they need to make an announcement and
send it around to everybody, that look, this is how we'd like it.
This is visiting hours. And this is time when the only the family
will be there. So if you want to come come at this time,
then you're going to have to be a bit flexible. If somebody comes
from fun, they didn't know, right? You have to play like that. But I
think one of the biggest things that are missing is insensitivity
is sensitivity towards these things. And number two, no
education, you're not managing people's if you don't want people
to come say so. But saying nicely. Let them know from before, manage
the whole thing in terms of a schedule, and try to do the best
that you can and just have a kind of a strong, firm person but a
polite person to deal with all of these things. Don't get somebody
who's very rash and who will cause
is much more harm than good get a person who's decent who can
explain to people give them some assurance confidence and things
like that